Plymouth Weekly Democrat, Volume 14, Number 41, Plymouth, Marshall County, 17 June 1869 — Page 1

PLYMOUTH WEEKLY DEMOCRAT.

VOLUME XIV. PLYMOUTH, INDIANA, THURSDAY, JUNE 17, 1869. NUMBER 41.

Ooctrp.

RESOLUTION. If you've anv ta.k to do. Let me whisper, friend, to yon. Do it. If you've any thinp to sy. True and needed, yea or uay, Say it. If you've any thing tQ 0ve, Ao a blessing from above. If you're any thin? to erive. That another's joy may live. Love it. Give It. If aome hollow creed you doubt, Thonch the whole world hoot and shout DouM It. If you know what torch to lieht. Guiding others through thenijht. Light it. If you've any debt to pay, Kent yon neither night or dayPay It. If vou've any joy to hold Next your heart, lest it srow cold. Hold it. If you've any grief to meet. At the loving Father's feet. Meet it. If you're s;lven Hgftt to see What a ctaiM of God should be. See It. Whether life ve bright or drear, Thf re' a meMee w.-et and clear Wavlaperc : rtowu toevi-ry oarHear it ! Selects ITltsfcllanr). We were e-iyht, including the driver. We bad not spoken during the passage of the last six mi'es. since the jolting of the heavy vehicle over the mughemnir road had spoiled the ,lu lire's last poetical quotation. The tall nun beside the Judge was asleep, his arm passed through the , awayiug s ra; and In he::d resting upon ; it altogether a limp, helpless -looking obJect, as if he had hanged himself and been cut down too late. The French lady on the back seat w is as ep, too, yet in a j half-conscious propriety of attitude, ohown I even in the disposition of the handker ' chief which Rhe hHd to her lorehead and which partially veiled her face The lady from Virginia Oitv, traveling with her husband, bad long since lost all individuality in a wild confotHon of ribbons, veils. furs and ?hais. There was no sound but the ratt ing of wheels and the dash of rain upon the roof. Suddenly the stage stopped and we became dfnüj aware of voices. The driver was evidently in the midst of an exciting colloquy with some one in the load a colloquy of which such fragments as " bridge gone," "twen Hy feet of water," " can'r pa s," were occasionally distinguish ible above 'he storm Then came a lull, and the mysterious oice from the road shouted the parting aouration : T'ry Mi ggles'. We aught a glimpse of our leaders as the vehicle slowly turned, of a horsemar vanishing through the rain, and we were evidently ou our way to Miggles'. Who and where was Miggles? The Judge, our authority, did not remember the name, and h? knew the country thor oughly. The Washoe traveller thought Miggles must keep hotel We only knew that re were stopped by tigh water In front and rear, and that Mi,rlea was our rock of refuge. A ten min at s' splashing through a tangled by-road, scarcely wide enough for the stage, and we drew up before a barred and boauled gate in a wide stone wall or fence about tight feet high. Evidently Miggles', and evidently Miggles did not keep a hotel. The driver gr.t .to vn and tried the gatIt was securely locked. "Mughs! o Miggles!" No answer. " Migg-fclls! You Higgle ?" continued the driver with rising wrath. "Migglesy!" j ined in the txpressman, persuasively. 1 Ü Miggy ! Mig But no reply came from the apparently MAnn- 1 ..... It. . n .ri htKa V. . t t insensate Mingles. The Judge, who had finally got the window down, put his head out and propounded a series of questions, which if answered categorically would hrive undoubtedly elucidated the whole mystery, but which the driver evaded by replying that " rf we didn't want to sit in the coach all night we had better rise up and sing out for Miggles." So we roe up and called on Miggles in chorus. Then separately. Andwjenws had finished, a Hibernian fellow-passenger from the roof called for "Maygells!'' whereat we all laagked. While we were laughing the driver t rie I " Shoo!" We liateaed. To ou- infinite amazement the chorus of "Miggles" was re peated from the thr side eC the wall, even to the final and supplemental Mavgells " " Extraordinary echo." said the Judge. "Extraordinary d d skunk !" roared the driver, contemptuously. "Come out of that Migg'es, and show yourself! Be a mau, Miggles ! Don't hide in the da k ; I wouldn't if I were you. Miggles." con tinued Yu' Bill, now dancing about in an excess of fu rV"Miggles" continued the voice, " O Miggles! ' My good man! Mr. Myghail!" "aid the Judge, soften'ng the asp Htiegof the name as much hf possible. M Consider the inhopit .lity of refusiug shelter from the inclemency of the weather to helpless females. KeaUy, my iear sir "but a succession of "Mitglet," ending in a burst ot laughter, drowned his voice. Yuba Bill hesi'a?ed no longer. Taking a heavy stone fmm the road, he battered down the gate, and, with the expressman, entered the enclosure. We follow. d. Nobody was to be seen In the gnt tiering darkness all that we could dist ingui-h whs that we were in a garten from the rone bushes that scattered over ns minute pray from their dripping leaves and before a l'ng, MmbUng wooden building 14 Do you knew this Miggles?" asked the Judge of Yuba Kill. "No, nor don't want to," said Bill, shortly, who felt the Pioneer 8tage Company insulted in his person by the contumacious Higgle "But, my dear sir." expostulated the Judire, as be thought of the barred gate Lookee here," said Yuba Bill, with fine irony, " hadn't yon better go back and oit in the coach till y r introduced? I'm going in, " and he pushed open the door of the building. A long room on'y lighted by the embers of a fire that was dying on a large hearth at its further extremity. The walls curi ously papered, and the flickering firelight bringing oat Us grotesque pattern. Somebody sitting la a large armchair by the fire place. All tha we saw as we crowded together into the room, after the driver od expressman.

" Hello, be you Miggles ? said Yuba Bill to the solitary occupant. The figure neither spoke nor stirred. Yuba Bill walked wrathfully toward it, and turned the eye of his coach lantern upon its face. It was a man's face, prematurely old and wrinkled, with very large eyes, in which there was that expression of perfectly gratuitous solemnity which I had sometimes seen in an owl's. The la -ye eyes wandered from Bill's face to the lantern, and finally fixed their gaz on that luminous object, without further recognition. Bill restrained himself with an effort, Miggles f be you deaf? You ain't dumb, anyhow, you know;" and Yuba Bill shook the insensate figure by the shoulder. To our great dismay, as Bill removed his hand, the venerable stranger apparently collapsed sinking into half his Hze and an undistingufshable heap of clothing. Well, dem my skin," said Bill, looking appealingly at us, and hopelessly retiring from the contest The Judge now stepped forward, and we lifted the mysterious vertebrate back into h s original position. Bill was dismissed with the lantern to reconnoitre outside, for it was evident that from the helplessness of this solitary man there must be attendants near at hand, and we all drew around the fire. The Judge, who had regained his authority , and had never lost his conversational amiability standing before us with his back to the hearth charged us, as an imaginary jury, as follows : "It if evident that either our distingu'shed friend here has reached that $ondition described by Shakspeare as " the sere and yellow leaf,' or has suffered some premature abatement of his mental and physical faculties. Whether he is really the M'ggles " Here he was interrupted bv " Miggles !

O Miggles ! Migglesy ! Mig I and, in tact, the whole chorus of Miggles in very much the same key as it had once before been delivered unt- us. We gazed at each other for a moment in some alarm. The Judge, in particular, vacated his position quickly, as the voice seemed to come directly over his shoulder, The cause, however, was soon discovered a a large magpie who was perched upon a shelf over the fire-place, and who immediatelv relapsed into a sepulchral silence, which contrasted Bingularlv with his pre vious volubility. It was undoubtedly his voice which we had heard in the road and our friend in the chair was not responsible for the discourtesy. Yuba Bill, who reentered the room after an unsuccessful search, was toth to accept the explanation, and still eved the helpless sitter with sus picion. He had found ashed in which he had put up his horses but he came back dripping and skeptical. M Thar aint no body but him within ten miles of the shanty, and that 'ar d d old skeesicks knows it." But the faith of the majority proved to be securely based. Bill had scarcely ceased growling, before we heard a quick sep upon the porch, the trailing of a wet skirt, the dorr was flung open, and with a flash of white teeth, a sparkle of dark eyes and an utter absence of ceremony or diffl ience, a young woman entered, shut the door, and, panting, leaned back against it. O, if you please, I'm Miggles P And this was Miggles! This brighteyed, full throated young woman, whose wet gown of coarse blue stuff could not hide the beauty of the feminine curves to which it clung ; from the chestnut crown of whose head topped by a man's oil-skin sou'wester to the little feet and ankles hidden somewhere in the recesses of her boy's brogns, all was grace this was Miggles, laugV ing at us, too, in the most airy, frank, off-hand manner imaginable. " You see. boys," said she, quite out of breath, and holding one little hand against her side, quite unheeding the speechless discomfiture of our party, or the complete demoralization of Yubi Bill, whose feat urea had relaxed into an expression of gratuitous and imbecile cheerfulness l ou see. boys. I was mor n two miies whe'Q ' d (lown tne road j - J m thought you might pull up here, and so I ran the whole way, knowing nobody was at home but Jim and and I'm out of breath that lets me out. And here Miggles caught her dripping oil-skin hat from her head, with a mischievous swirl that scattered a shower of rain drops over us ; attempted to put back her hair; dropped two hair pins in the ittempt; laughed, and sat down beside Yuba Bill, with her hands crossed lightly on her lap. The Judge recovered himself first, and essaved an extravagent compliment " I'll trouble you for that thar har pin," said M'ggles, gravely. Half a dozen hands were eagerly stretched forward; the missing hair-pin was restored to its fair owner ; and Miggles, crossing the room, looked keenly in the face of the invalid. The solemn eyes looked back at hers, with an expression we Lad never seen before. Life and intelligence seemed to struggle back into the rugged face. Miggles laughed again it was a singularly ehqnent laugh and turned her black eyes and white teeth once more toward us. " This afflicted person is" hesitated the Judge. "Jim," said Mrgglef. Your father T " No." "Brother?" "No" Husband " M'ggles darted a quick, half-defiant ilance at the two lady passengers who I had noticed did not participate in the general masculine admiration of Miggles, nnd Raid, gravely : No it 8 Jim. There was an awkward pause. The lady passengers moved close to each other. The Washoe husband looked abstractedly at ihe fire ; and the tall man apparently turned his eyes Inward for self Hupport at this emergency. But M ggles' laugh, which, was very infectious, br ke the silence. " Come, she sa'd, briskly, " yon murt be hungry. Who'll bear a hand to help me get tea?" She had no lack of volunteers. in a few moments Yuba Bill was engaged like Caliban in bearing logs for this Miranda; the expressman was grinding coffee on the verandah ; to my-elf the arduous duty of slicing bacon was assigned ; and the Judge lent each man his good humored i and valuable counsel And when Miggle-, assisted by the Judge and our Hibernian j " deck passenger," set the table with all j the available crockery, we had became ; quite joyous, in spite of the rain that beat against the windows, the wind that j whirled down the chimney, the twoHdies who whispered together in the corner, or j the magpie who uttered a satirical and j croaking commentary on their cony r-a tion, from his perch above. In the bright, I blazing fire we could see that the walla

were papered with illustrated journals, arranged with feminine taste and discrimination. The furniture was extemporized, and .adapted from candle boxes and packing ca?8, and covered with gay calico, or the skin of some animal. The arm chair of the helplt Jim was an ingenious va nation of a floCJ.r barrel. There was neat ness and even a t.aste for the picturesque to be seen in the few details of the long low room. The meal was a culinary success. But more, it was a social triunjph chiefly, I think, owing to the rare tact of Miggles in guiding the conversation, askicg all the questions herself, yet bearing throughout a frankness that rejected the idea of any concealment on her own part. So that we talked of ourselves, of our prospects, of the journey, of the weather, of each other of every thing but our host and hostess. It must be confessed that Miggles' conversation was never elegant, rarely grammatical, and that at time she used expletives, the use of which had generally been yielded to o-ir sex But tbey were delivered with euch lighting up of teeth and eyes, and were usually Allowed by a laugh a laugh peculiar to Miegles ao frank, and honest that it seemed to clear the moral atmosphere. Once, during the meal, we heard a noise like the rubbing of a heavy body against the outer walls of the house. This ws shortly followed by a scratching and snif fling at the door. " That's Joaquin," said M'ggles, in reply to our que-tioninc glances ; " would you like to see him I Before we could answer she had opened the door, and disclosed a half-grown griz zly who instantly raised hinsell on bis haunches, with his forepaws hanging down in a popular attitude of mendicancy, and looked admiringly at Miggles, with a very singular resemblance in his manner to Yuba Bill. "That's my watch-dog," said Miggles in explanation. " 0, he doa't bite," she added, as the two lady passengers fluttered into a corner. " Docs he, ( Id Toppy !" (the 1-ist remark being addressed directly to the sagacious Joaquin). "I tell you what, boys," continued Miggles, after she had fed and closed t he door on Ursa Minor, " You were in big luck that Joaquin wasn't hanging round when you dropped in to-night." " Where was he ?" asked the Judge. " With me," said Miggles. 14 Lord love you ; he trots round with me nights like as if he was a man." We were silent for a few moments, and listened to the wind Perhaps we all had the same picture before us ot Miggles walking through the rainy wood, with her savaee guardian at her side. Tne Judge, I remember, said someting about Una and her lion ; but Miggles received it as she did other comolimenis, with quiet gravity. Whether she was altogether unconscious of the admiration she excited she could hardly have been oblivious of Yuba Bill's adoration I knew not; but her very frankness suggested a perfect sexual equality that was cruelly humiliating to the younger members of our party. The incident of the bear did not add anything in Miggles' favor to the opinions of those of her own sex who were present In ftct, the repast over, a chilliness radi ated from the two lady passengers, that no pine boughs brought in by Yuba Bill and cast as a tcri6ce upon the hearth could wholly overcome. Miggles felt it ; and suddenly declaring that it was time to "turn in," offered to show th? ladies to bed in an adjoining room. " You, boys, will have to camp out here by the fire as well as you can," she added, "for thar aint but the one room." Our sex by which, my dear sir, I al lüde, of course, to the stronger portion of humanity has been generally relieved from the imputation of curiosity, or a fondness for gossip. Ye I am constrained to say, that hardly had tne door closed on Miggles than we crowd d together, whis pericg, snickering, smiling and exchanging suspicions, surmises and a thousand speculations in regard to our pretty hostess and ter singular companion. I fear that we even hustled that imbecile para lytic, who sat like a voiceless Memnon in our midst, gazing, with the serene indifference of the past with his passionless eyes, upon our wordy councils. In the midst of our exciting discussion the door opened again, and Miggles re entert d. But not, apparently, the same Miggles who a few hours before had flashed upon us. Her eyes were downcast, and as she hisitated for a moment on the threshold, with a blanket on her arm, she seemed to have left behind her the frank fearlessness which had charmed us a moment betöre. Coming a. to the room, she drew a low stool beside the paralytic's chair, sat down, drew the blanket over her shoulders and saying. "If it's all the same to you. boys, as we re rather crowded, I'll stop here tonight," took the invalid's withered hand in her own acd turned her eyes upon the dying fire An instinctive feeling that this was only premonitory to more confidential relations, and perhaps some shame at our previous curiosity, kept us silent. The rain still beat upon the roof; wand -ring gusts of wind stirred the embers into momentary brightness, until, in a lull of the elements. Mignles suddenly lifted up her head, and throwing her hair over her shou'der, turned her face upon the group and asked : " Is there any of you that knows me V" There was no reply. "Think again ! I lived at Maryville in '53. Everybody knew me there, and everybody had the right to know me. I kept the Polka Saloon until I come to live with Jim. That's six years ago. Perhaps I've changed some." The absence of recognition may have dic ncerted her She turned her head to the fire again, and it was some secoi ds be fore she again spoke, and then more rapidly. " Well, you see I thought some of you must have known me. There's no great harm done, any wv. What I was going to say was this : Jim here" she took his hand in Loth of hers as she spoke " used to know me, if you didn't, and spent a heap of money upon me I reckon he spent all he had. And one da it's six years ago this winter Jim came into my back room st down on my sofa, like as you see him in that chair, and never moved sgain without help. He wasstruck all of a heap, and never seemed to know what ailed him The doctors carae and said as how it was caused all along of his way of life for Jim was mighty free and wild like and that be would never get better, and couldn't last long anyway. They advised me to Fend him to Frisco to the hospital, f.. r he was no good to anyone and would be a baby all his life. Perhaps it was something in Jim's eye, per hapi it was that I never had a baby, but I said No.' I was rich then, for I was popular with everybdy gentlemen line yourself, sir, came to see me and I gold out my business and bought this yer place, because it was sort of out of the way of

travel, you see, and I brought my bab ' here." With a woman's intuitive tact and poetry, she had as she spoke slowly shifted her position so as to bring the mute figure of the ruined man betwen her and her audience hiding in the ma low behind it as if she offered it as a tacit apology for her actions. Silent and expressionless, it yet spoke for her ; helpless, crushed and smitten with the Divine thunderbalt, it still stretched an invisible arm around her. Hidden in the darkness, but still holding his hand, she went on : " It was a long time bfore I could get the hang of thing9 about yer, for I was used to company and excitement. 1 could n't get any woman to help me, and a man I dursen't trust; but what with the Indians hereabout, who'd do odd jobs for me, and having everything sent from the North Fork, Jim and I manage to worry through. The doctor would run up from Sacramento once in awhile. He'd ask to see 'Miggles' baby,' as be called Jim, and when he d go away, he'd say, ' Miggles you're a trump God bless you ;' and it didn't ieem so lonely after that. But the last time he wa9 here he said, as he opened the door to go ; 1 Do you know, Miggles, your baby will grow up to be a man yet ind an honor to his mother ; but not here, Vl'ggles, not here!' and I thought he went away sad and and " and here Miggles' voice and head were somehow both lost completely in the shadow. "The folks about here are very kind,' said Miggles, after a paue, coming a little into the light again. " The men trom the Fork used to hang around here, until they found they wasn't wanted, and the women ae kind and don't call. I was pretty lonely until I picked up Joaquin in the woods yonder one day, when he wasn't so. high, and taught him to beg for his dinner; and then thar's Polly that's the magpie she knows no end of tricks, and makes it quite sociable of evenings with her talk, and so I don't feel like as I was the only living being about the ranch And Jim here," said Miggles, with her old laugh again, and coming out quite into the firelight, "Jim why, boys, you woulrl admire to see how much he knows for a man like him. Sometimes I bring him fl wers, and he looks at, 'em just as natural as if he knew 'em ; and times, when we're sitting here alone, I read him those things on the wall. Why Lord !" said Miggles witb her frank laugh, " I've read him that whole side of the house this winter. There never was such a man for reading is Jim." " Why," asked the Judge, " do you not marry this man to whom you have devoted your youthful life?" " Well, you see," said Miggles, " it would be playing it rather low down cn Jim, to take advantage of his being so helpless. And then, too, if we were man ami wife, now, we'd both know that I was bound to do what I do now of my own accord." " But you are young yet and attractive " It's getting late," said Miggles, gravely, " and you'd better all turn in. Good night, boys ;" and throwing the blanket over her head, Miggles laid herself down beside Jim's chair, her head pillowed on the low stool that held his feet, and poke no more. The fire slowly faded from the hearth ; we each sought our blankets in silence ; and, presently, there was no sound in the long room but the pattering of the rain upon the roof, and the heavy breathing of the sleepers. It was nearly morning when I awoke from a troubled dream. The storm had passed, the stars were shining, and through the shutterless window the full moon, lifting itself over the solemn pines without, looked into the room. It touched the lonely figure in the chair with an infinite compassion, and seemed to baptize with a shi nmg flood the lowly head of the woman whose hair, as in the sweet old story, bathed the feet of him she loved. It even lent a kindly poetry to the rugged outline of Yuba Bill, half reclining on his elbow between them and his passengers, witb savagely-patient eyes keeping watch and ward. And then I fell asleep, and only woke at broad day, with Yuba Bill standing over me, and "All aboard" ringing in my ears. Coffee was waiting for us on the table, but Miggles was gone We wandered about the house and lingered long after the horses were harnessed, but she did not return. It was evident that she wished to avoid a formal leave-taking, and had so left us to depart as we had come. After we had helped the ladies into the coach, we returned to the house and solemnly shook hands with the paralytic Jim, as solemnly settling him back into position after each hand shake. Then we looked for the last time around the long, low room, at the stool where Miggles had sat, and slowly took our seats in the waiting cach. The whip cracked, and we were off! But as we reached the high r ad Bill's dexterous band laid the six horses back on their haunches, and the stage stopped with a jerk. For there, on a little eminence beside the road, stood Miggles, her har flying, her eyes sparkling, her white handkerchief waving, and her white teeth flashing a last " good bye." We waved our hats in return. And then Yuba Bill, as if tearful of further fiscination, madly lashed his horses forward and we sank back in our seats. We exchanged not a word until we reached the North Fork and the stage drew up at the Independence House. Then, the Judge leading, we walked into the bar-room and took our glasses gravely at the bar. " Are your glasses charged, gentlemen?" said the Judge, solemnly taking off his white hat. Th v were. " Well, then, here's to Higgles, God Blkss Her!" Perhaps he had. Who knows? Overland Monthly, for June.

Popular Errors. That editors keep public reading rooms. That they are delighted to g t anything to fill up the paper with. That they are always pleased to bave assistance in selecting copy for the piper. That every man's own private act is a " matter of public interest. That it desn't make much difference whether Cöpy he written on both sides. That the editors always return rejected manuscript. Bad ustombr - "We don't sell spirits," nld a law eva Slag bar seller ; " we wll, give y ou tglM; and then, if yu want btecatt, we'll eell It to yu for three ha'pence. " Tne "mod creature wh band' d down, a cMfl glaae swallowed, sud ihe lauutord handed hin customer s bircntt. " Well, no, 1 ' funk nut ." i-altl the customer, you aell 'em too dear. I can get lota of 'em five or six tor a penny anywhere elas." There will be an Irish Convention in St Louis on Sept. 1, for the purpose of establishing emigrant aid societies for settling the Irish on the Western prairies.

Marriage Brokerage in Paris. Spendthrifts who have squandered their fortunes, and need a dowry to replace them, can read in the Paris papers an advertisement of a handsome, modest and amiable young lady, with an income of 50,000 francs a year. They hasten to write, and two days after receive a re sponse. and with a hand trembling with emotion they open this Cupid's missive, which says such business cannot be done by correspondence, and begs them to call at his " bureau," assuring them that theirs being the first communication, they will 'jave the preference. They imagine the fortune already theirs. The " bureau " is generally situated in a very fine house. A valet in livery introduces you into a magnificent saloon, ornamented with exquisite taste, from whose open doors you perceive a succession of rich apartments. Here Cupid reigns supreme. All the paintings, statuettes and books are de voted to this god. Two pretty children (hired, without doubt), are playing in the room. After being kept waiting a short time, the broker appears, and excuses himself, upon the plea of business, for making you wait , afier which he rings, and with an insinuating smile, begs to offer you a glass of wine. When the same valet appears he expresses his astonishment at seeing him perform this service, and demands, with n angry air, where is P erre, Antoine, Francois. He answers without hesitation one has gone to the bank, another to the opera to engage a M loge " for madame, and the third for the affair of the ccunt. This deception is intended to make an impreSv-i n. The valet is the only servant of the establishment, and is even the ather of the children in the saloon. This is only the prologue now the come dy commences. Monsieur, I have had the honor of ad dres9ing you in answer to the advertisement. When can I be presented to this lady ? You are without profession ? Yes she is honorable then? Your antecedents ? You shall be informed of them. The conversation continues thus, in order that the broker my form an idea of the degree of intelligence of his victim and what precautions to take to prevent compromising himself. I shall expect only five per cent, upon the dowry. Very well Payable when you receive it. Admirable. But before going further the broker demands the fees of the " bureau" for ex peases incurred in making inquires, &c, which vary according to the credulity of the visitor and the amount of the dowry. Be asks 400 franc?, adding that with 100 more you will have the right of choosing for six months from all the ladies in my establishment. Such a tempting offej could not be resisted o the applicant gives the 500 francs 500 francs. In exchange for his money he receives a receipt upon stamped paper with 'he terms of the agreement for which he must pay 10 francs extra 510 francs. He waits with impatience the moment of the first interview. At last the broker present 9 him. The lady is escorted by her aunt. They are mutually pleased, and after a short interchange of compliments they leave the room. He wishes to escort

them to their carriage ; this the broker prevents, as they belong to the establish ment, being hired for five francs per day, and the elegant dresses and articles of the toilet necessary for their transformation, (for they are blondes or brunettes, according to the taste of the dupe), are furnished by the broker. He insinuates softly thit it is a good idea to invite tbem to a breakfast at his house, for at table they can converse freely, and after you will be invited to visit them. For this breakfast of four persons he askes sixty francs, which is nothing, as he has the wines of which he makes no account with friends 570 francs. At breakfast the table is supplied with large joints of cold meats and a splendid turkey, of which the ladies refuse to partake when they are offered the slightest morsel, and for two reasons first, that a wife whs eats litttle is an advantage ; and secondly, that this same repast will serve for other victims. Upon some pretext the ladies leave the table, as they recollect an engagement at their banker's, etc. The broker sof ly informs him that he must send to his native place to make inquiries about him, and requests him to call the next day and arrange this matter, which he accordingly does, and there meets accidentally the lady and her aunt. A cerk is called who is to make the necessary inquiries. This applicant must pay the expenses of the j'mrney, which wi 1 amount to one hundred and forty francs. He hesitates. The aunt very naturally declares that she will pay one half, and to set the examp e draws out an elegant silk purse which she says is the work of htr niece he admires it she offers it to him Le accepts, and as i is n cessa y to sti ike while the iron is hot, the clerk leaves immediately 710 francs. During the clera's absence he visits ti e agency, but does not meet the ladies. The hroker reminds him of the gift of the purse, and wishing to n,ake a return, he gives a brilliant of two hundred and fifty fra cs 960 francs. The clerk (who has not left Paris) har, been taken suddenly iP on his journey, which lasts four days, and costs eighty francs 1,040 francs. Finally the applicant becomes imparient, but the broker informs him, with an air of the deepest f'rief, that he must consider himself very 'r lunate that his vigilance has saved him from the great misfortune which menaced him tnat he has just learned that the father of the young girl is condemned to the galleys for life that she i9 unworthy of him. He leaves, congratulating himself upon his escaie. The tri' k is plaved, leaving room for another. Ii oh toil Commerc '.al Bulletin. A v kky singular case of somnambulism rerently occurred in Chicago. A young man was found walking the streets of the city in a somnolent condition. He was taken to the County Hospital, where he was awakened after having been in a somnabulistic state for four days. He states that while in that condition he was cognizant of what was transpiring around him, and several times attempted to make signs to be provided with a pencil and some paper so as to write out a communication, bnt was unable to make himself understood. Chicago medical men pronounce this one of the strangest cases of somnolence that has come und th -,r supervision. A TouNa lady who had just purchased a watch, and wanted to show it, was shopping at a dry goods store in Springfield, a few days since. Drawing it forth with a dourish and glancing at it and the voung man who was waiting upon her, she inquired : "Can you tell me what lime the 12 o'clock train starts for Northampton?" "About noon," very quietly replied the f oung man. " Ah, indeed I then I have ust nheen minutes."

New Method of Bookkeeping. Some time since, a barber was brought before the police court at Paris, charged with having customers in his house after midnight. Tne examination was thus reported. Barber It is the fault of this person, Merlon, who is in the court, as he has not time to be shaving until late at night. The President You ought not, at all events, to disturb the peace ; there were cries issuing fron your house, as if you had been committing murder. Merlon He was shaving ; that's almost the same thing. Laughter.l The President Was it you, then, Merlon, who was crying out as if you were being fl-iyed ! Merlon Yes, in fact he was flaying me a general laugh, he was cutting me horribly. Barber It is very true, but I made a mistake. Merlon Did you mean to cut me ? Barber I did not say that prolonged laughterl -I certainly did not mean to cut him so deep. Loud and continued laughterj The President. Did you then cut him on purpose? Barber. Indeed I did, in the spirit of my ordr. You understand, one does not like to be below his business. The President and Merlon together. And why f Barber The whole affair is this : Mr. Merlon is not to be trusted, as he does not pay the ready money. He used to cheat me in the number of shaves tor which he owed me; when he had twelve, he used to say thst he had only 3ix, so that I lost both my rnzor, my soap, and my time. At last I devised a method of keeping a reckoning not to be disputed. The President How was that? Barber. Every time I shave him, I make a notch in his cheek general laughter; when we count up, I look at his cheek so many notches, so many shaves renewed laughter; but the other day the razor turned in my hand I made the figure too large and it was this that made him cry out and disturb the neighborhood. Ami 1st general laughter, the barber was condemed to pay the full penalty, and the President advised him to renounce in future his M new system of keeping accounts." a i Heavy Work. At the recent Congregational Union, among many good stories told was the following, by Rev. Dr. 8torrs : I have done some heavy work in the way of platform speaking very heavy it was, at any rate, to the audience, for I have no doubt they felt as the Scotch minister's congregation did. You remember when he told his neighbor that he spoke two hours and a half the day before, the neighbor said to him : " Why, minister, were you not tired to death?" " Ah, no," said he, " I was as fresh as a rose ; but it would have done your heart guid to see how tired the congregation

was." You recollect when Robert Treat Paine (you don't recollect it, but you may remember the fact) was on the bench of the Supreme Court of Massachusetts, he had got to be quite aged (Robert Treat Paine, the father of the poet, by the way, don't confound them,) and the bar desired him to retire from the bench. So they appointed Harrison Gray Otis, who was very polite and accomplished, to go and see the Judge and talk with him on the subject. He suggested to the Judge that it must be a great inconvenience to him to leave his home so often and so long— "Oh, he was always ready to sacrifice his personal preferences for the good of the country." "But," suggested Otis, "you are not in good health, you are infirm; aren't you afraid this excessive duty will kill you?" "Yes," said he, "but a man cannot die in a better cause than administering justice."—[Laughter.] "Do you see as well as you used to?" "Yes ; I can see with my glasses very well." "Can you hear as well as you used to?"—(for it was notorious that he could not hear anything unless yelled through a trumpet.)—He said: "Yes, I hear perfectly; but they don't speak as loud as they did before the Revolution." ———<>——— A Trifle and its Results. ——— A MAN from the country invested five cents in the purchase of an orange, and preparatory to getting himself outside of it threw the peel on the sidewalk. Soon after a young woman came along, slipped upon the peel, and fell upon the walk, breaking her leg. The young woman was to have been married the next day, but wasn't. The man who was to have married her had come from St. Paul, Minnesota, and was obliged to return on account of business, to await the recovery of the girl. On his way back he unfortunately took a train on the Erie railroad, which ran off the track, and his shoulder blade was broken, forcing him to stop at Dunkirk for repairs. The Travelers' Insurance Company, in which he was insured, had to pay $230 in weekly installments before he recovered. On getting back to St. Paul, he found that his forced absence had upset a business arrangement which he had expected to complete, at a pecuniary loss to him of $5,000. Meantime the injured girl suffered a relapse, which so enfeebled her health that her marriage was delayed, which had a bad effect upon the young man, and he finally broke the engagement and married a widow in Minnesota, with four small children. This so worked upon the mind of the girl that she is now in the insane hospital in Middletown. Her father, outraged by the conduct of the young man, brought a suit for a breach of promise, and has just recovered $10,000. The anxiety and expense of the whole affair thus far has been enormous, as anybody can see. Similar cases are likely to occur so long as people will persist in throwing orange peel around loose .—<Hartford Courant>. ———<>——— —Ice is now manufactured in New Orleans so abundantly that it can be afforded to families all over the city at one cent @ pound, and to large consumers at threequarters of a cent. It has been tested with ice from Boston, and is found to be more compact and slower in melting. Made from filtered water, it is clear as crystal, and purer than ice naturally formed is apt to be. ———<>——— A SHORT COURSE—An Englishman was was [sic] telling the late Colonel Isaac O. Barnes, of Massachusetts, of the great rate the cars ran in England. "Why, Colonel, in my country they go seventy-five miles an hour." "They do!" says the Colonel; "they couldn't run long at that rate, for they'd run off the d—d little island."

FACTS AND Flli( ni A grandson of Vanderbilt is a conductor on a Troy train. Thkrk are more than 4,000,000 Germans in the United States. The value of our rail-oad freight in 1967 was $10,472,250,000. Thk New Orleans gambling houses pay a yearly license of $5,000. Thb ballet troup- at the Berlin Opera House consists of 486 persons. Thb editor of the South Orange (N J ) Budget is 12 years of age. San Francisco is not yet a quarter of a century old and hs 150 000 inhabitants. The Pope has two brothers older than himself, and a nephew sixty years of age. Thbre are forty-two societies, with 1,700 missionaries, engaged in giving the Gospel to the heathen. Although Paris returns oniy nine membei'8, there were eleven hundred candidates in the field. A woman died of corpulence a few days ago, in Pniladelphia, weighing nearly six hundred pounds. A 3oston horse car conductor has been given a Gov. rnment bond by some of his regular passengers. Switzerland has now 201 political papers, 163 German, 31 French, 4 Italian, and 3 Romanic journals. There are 50,000 commercial travelers In the United States, of whom 20,000 are sent out by New York houses. A teachers' meeting will be held at Berlin this summer, at which about 3,000 teachers will be present. " The Tempest" was lately read by Mrs. Sterling, in London, with a chorus of 400 voices to sing the incidental music. Eight horse-si au eh teri a? establishments at Stettin, PrupsU, turned out last year 800 carcasses and 320,000 pounds of meat. A colored child recently fell out of a third story winJow in Cincinnati, struck its head against the stone pavement and escaped uninjured. On an opening n'ght at an opera house in Nevada, an enthusiastic admirer of an actress threw an $80 silver brick at her. Nearly three thousand duels were fought in 1868 at the various German universities. Most of these duels, however, were very harmless affairs. There are fifteen male and female opera singers on the European continent, whose aggregate income amounts to four mil lion francs and a half. Anna Dickinson saidj in a late lecture at New York, that in five years she wou'.d vote, and in ten be a member of CongresThk imports of wheat into great Britian this year have averaged twenty per cent, less in amount than during the cor

responding months of 1868. Therb are twenty-four voters of the name of Ellis in Keene, N. H., and in Stratham, same State, in 21 i I voters there are twenty-five of the name of Wiggin. The French Mutual Benevolent Society, of San Francisco, numbers 8,887 mrn bers. The'r receipts during the last year were $57,172 and their expenses $46 476. The receipts of the British Bible S ciety for last year were 187,970. It has lately occupied a new and elegant building. The society, since 1804, has istued 57,000,000 copies of the Scriptures. TnE Crown Princess of Prussia spends more than half her income in charities. The Queen, her mother in law, spends a still larger portion of her income for the same purpose. The Rev. Samuel Nott, who died the other day in Hartford at the age of 81, was the last survivor of a band ot five missionaries sunt to the Eist Indies by the American Board in 1812. Syracuse, N. Y., has an ordinance that prohibits boys under eighteen years of age from going into a saloon, and fining any saloon keener $10 who sells them liquor in his establishment During the last fiscal year the number of letters sent through the foreign depart ment of the post office in New York city amounted to 5,900,307, and the number received was 5 228,225, making an aggra gate of 11,128,532. Anson W. Williams has sued Jesse Colby at Buffalo for the value ot a $75 horse killed by a collision of the wagons of the parties; and the case is still unset tied with $1,500 costs already heaped on the original bilL A piece of track on the Oil Creek Railroad, over a great bog, gave way a few days ago, allowing three cars to sink. In two days they got twelve feet below the su r face. The bog has been s unded, and found to be thirty-eight feet deep. The door of a carriage in a fast train on the Edinburgh Glasgow Railway suddenly burst open the other day, and a little girl five years of age, who was leaning against the door at the time, was thrown out and killed instantaneously. Levi Snow, of West Dover, Vt , has been feeding out his hay this season that has been in his barn thirty f ur J ears. It came out bright and sound, the cattle ate it well, and it was as goal in every re spect as hay grown last summer. A ctjp of coffee and a sandwich invarin bly form the breakfast of the King ot Prussia. At 10 o'clock in the morning he takes a substantial lunch, and at the din ner table he eats very heartily. He takes his last meal, generally consisting of fried potatoes and fish, be ween 9 and 10 in the evening. A girl at Bromberg, 13 years old, the daughter of a high Prussian dignitary, took her own life by jam pine into the river, in consequence of a rebuke which she received lrom her teacher. Betörmaking the fatal leap, she informed her schoolmates that she was about to die. and invited them to her funeral. The Missionary Society of the British Baptists repo ts an income of 30,556. At is recent session, an address was made by the Rev. Dr. Landels, in which he brought out the fact that each MlMioaar? family in India cost on an average OS per annum, and urges that the mtssiona ries go out at first unmarried. Charles E Thurber, of East Burke, Vt , while building a road on his f.rrn, a few days ago, turned over a flat stone, un der which ne found $134 in silver halves and quarters. It is supposed to have been deposited there by Pat Curran, who hung himself at East Burke some twelve or four teen years ago. W. Torery, of Cephalia, Ala , saw an advertisement that J. Baf ACa, 37 Nass iu street, would send an eighteen inch musical box, playing twenty fonr tun s on receipt of $4. He sent his m ney and received a five cent jews harp. He now wants the Marshal of New York to arrest and punish the rogues.