Plymouth Weekly Banner, Volume 4, Number 32, Plymouth, Marshall County, 25 October 1855 — Page 1

Ea LfA A Family NewspaperDevoted to Education, Agriculture, Commerce, Markets, General Intelligence) Foreign and Domestic News. VOL. 4. NO. 32.1 PLYMOUTH, INDIANA, THURSDAY, OCTOBER 25, 1855 WHOLE NO. 188.

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Li nr.'j evek i T n u n s i a y mop.sISC (To i:i thy 'rVP.viiiouih Hotel,) BY V"I. J. BURNS. ! f 1 i n a '.v.iro, SI .'.0 v ' .-nd of - i months. 2 00I '..1 - -.; I 'intil tl.s end oltric year, 2 5H AS.!''.-i f- r;era discontinuance at the , ., ;-.: o-.i oft'.- '.me subscribed fur, will bei a uj en TfiL-oincut, and ibe paper- , I ,V-,.r.':i bt-llseontinueJ unti'all ! ; i r i ualossatthe option o ..he j j I'r. e tor.-:? v. ill be strictly ad-1 ADVERTISING. : r.:M.-'ir. i. :.tnr. -v."inr. , , i ions or !t:-s r I oo. 'i -i ' !'ti- : '. i !; -' il . . . C5e. I firtv. Ailv.-rii " ents.

v.-;;!!if i:iMtcdtiil f'ibildfii. nient can be ccncoctcd out of such si in- : ' 5b- ;. r.'.ti-. : pe rrntcrials as the quill of a goose and tforown sjn 0r a slieep. Here I am, poor D'nECTORY. .devil! served u i:h what the rascally at:r r-.zr-T-zn-rz.; - tomejs call a T.icsc process and a par.V IWI.MI'n, D -.uer in Dry floods;, ticularly mean process it is, most assured- ; '. JUi 1'vare, Qutensware, ly.' I!.v & Cap. However. f:tt thief to catch .1 thief, T T, M .IU.r: f'.i nrr l II.irnc5s : says ihe o'd adage, and, in conformity i-r v l1 of il.e cor- w iih the rever nd maxim, our jocose riy r.. uMi li '. A. , frienc; despatched an envoy for the immeTV N'. P-ah rs in Dry Good. : diate attendance cf one of the profession, : rt;;";V;?a!V,1;r.;e;;1r.r;,aile ' consult Mm es to the best means of , . : . 1 : Li; c .f , - -C .. s r et. ; resisting (or puf.iug elf until such times '"7. 'c C. Defers in I ry , jie coaj( err?nf,e his marriage with the i!,r Cecelia) this mos? orieous and Du-

Til i.: IV - , - : ;.r V Mic i.vjn sir-tt. ;

valcr in Foreign and ; ,vjit.n Ir ieler runctÜiü, following the .,icS ö!ul rrovuluas,;rougUh di.ections f Miss Silly, tap

r i Cnint ir.nVf-r, 1 I':ir:.i:ure tooi;: in , v iL 1 1 I -OMiL llotfc!. " T : j f-i'irer aui .fait t ; ...! si.i j riurliiu's, ; . . ( : !l.ur.cs man1 1 : ' r, f M i c ! i ': a :i .- t re e M) V.! olffTflle and reV-, Tni'.v.ue,.Ä Harvl Micldan street. 11 j f v ? i 1. ! II. r, .v Cy. lo.il.ri in ' . 1 . n t1.!- Pri Is, l" ...er r I iiir.ily fif.ee- ' Tin-vare. Pakeryisai .IS .et. , s . -.: I' 'i' Mrrcl.nnt Tadr, and Vc- ' nn 1 rM kir.di of FurniihV.l.T Hi:V.'l LT. IVal-rs in ' -, r. r f t T c, Ha rdware li-'As : -;r, V! ,V;V and Petai! V

Mr !i.r:e.. Oil?, Paint.--, ', could not understand the joke, and mut";r': r:V; Ji!A-leJ!le: I terci to himself, 'Very strange. What

1 rr "1 l. rc ill : NTannracl Ttrs oi" Tin-rv.-.ne, and dcalt-rs trs . i r A'tv. at I.a-v. C'.Hect; j

r.;.n to in North rn In- j no SOOner availed himself than the eterinj : ,r JLa - I ual punster added, 'case of a rest as they V. .--Mi'r.i, .Tutire of the peace, will sav jn lne law. Come, I've heard worse - ' I ; h xf tCir;:ult anu I than that in mj time. ; ;. i.rr ; - f.)vt-r the Post oHic-. ,. , r .. . e j Ihe supposed limb of that profession . S.'.M'L. IlIGniMJOTlIAM, Physician : iau2hcanot al lhe joko but because r-.r-i. at !.!o residence on ; . ... ' . -,. , . . r. i Ins companion did. i 'Touching the present business conr:; Ilicps a General tinu.d the facetious Mr. Forage, -I be- .. , -,.,1,;., v-.. cor. r.uno MU-h.sts. live you are aware hou far matters have p ,h.y Fdct- Vby-K-ian, vil!0!ie lreaJy-' .... - '. r.r nif-. r. OAe fo::ri '"hy, if I mistake not, returned Mr.

r.f T. .r. PfirVtr'srcMuvnee. "T?M. TOT t' 5c '' s-'on, Catriat'e -V Plow; ' . . . 1 .,, .! ! IU Pi.d-e, Michisan street. i;'M-v:;. Physician ar.d Suriieon, I ..i l : r 2. iiv a'Jen! to all calls in his : Of.' V.t his re?i !enre, south Plym. j A. JOSKrii. C?Iinet Maker and Un kt r, Sc -i t :t Plymouth. ;',.tr , .

1:1 S. KLINK. Clock and Watchmaker.!',"-" , , . ! - " s-dvtTfnthinirer.erally. Up stairs , glce at his habiliments, 'a very impo-

in tho old Plymouth Hotel. ; ... rrr. r: ! L- ri' A ".US H )l i.i-, v in. u. tiuvartis ito4 ',r ri-ji' r, turner 01 .uioaixan auu Musiu- : . . ( t:i : i 1 I i:i i ire c t- i I -3 C. TL'HNE R. House Carpenter & Joiner, f X fbor. on Waihinston street, east of , BALDWIN, manufactures and kerps " on hand custom made Boots & Slioes; si Je MichV'aü street. SMITH. Manufacturer of Fine C;.icorn nane Roots. Shop next door south ci'Dt, lii.'jinbotham's office. g.rrns Sc I. ELLIOTT Turners. Chair Mari Vcr?, and Sijn Paiater3, -Michigan street, hcutn Plymouth. T W. GILSON Cabinet Maker. Wheel Kia'ht, and Chair Maker, North Plymouth T 1- ARMSTRONG, attends to all calls " Iiis line of Dauerrcotyping, athisresi :erfte ".onn oi towards' Hotel. 7VT: II. PEOIIEPt & CO., Dealers in Family J.v. r Groceries, trovisions, Conlectionaries &'e, Hc-ath Plymouth. In the lIarUct. Wi:i: tT At the highest market prices, taken on subscription to the Banner, delivered at the office. July. 18 '.

.l.:..;rnn Ptrcet. j

A v- V2' ,l,.!,tr?etö l&e,nß r'MMr. Forage, I presume you will then go Plicksmithinzof ail kin-Js done toorder. I , it v . r .u u .ji.j ,r ,1 lfn,v,H-' i'ntoi on to plead; but for that, he added, I h ,ct 50'iUi east of hdv.araa i.otei. ... . , , L . ! suppose you will require some counsel. MKWCAX HOUSE, O. P. Cherry & Son .sir, r lieJ Mf Pancliio .j am al. ..T-roMrietor?, SouthnouUu f w 8 hap upQn auy

niry.-c. b. iiBRiMMq.. that, hang me! if I know what is the thoned Aceat t receive subscription afJjucuai im in sueH ras mr.:y due us, in Stark county. it. I usual "ue ln 8ucn cast8

51 K. I'ETEll lU.CTILLIO, THE GENTLEMAN IN BLACK.

BY HEX BY MAYIIEW, (COSCLUUED.) CHAPTER III. T . -. no r r - rplitrn tn nur Cr I a t ? Tt w a r L - r. n i .u . . e i borage. On leaving the apartment of his iauje - iue, nie prigniiy i'unsiei inaue the best oi his way to the oilice ol the Cheltenham Chronicle, and having deh;, of mirth ;., tu 'lOlltU lid llllg 'k l't Itllllll 4 1 J VliV, Ul IU. rial box of that journal, returned with all speed I : hi; r.V, in ;l:e Ci-U Hotel, .vheX) what was his surprise to find w letter Up. 0 the tab!e bearing hi3 address, andcontainir.g a small slip of paper commenc ing, 'Victoria, bjr ihe grace of God of the il'niied Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, Uuem, Defender of the Faith to ' Frank Forage, greeting Need we inform the learned reader, it was a writ! 5 astonishing how formidable an instru-vui-iiKB biuck utu juui money or your uur uveiy irienj r ranK wa3 anxiously expectincr 0 icit from his Ifcal adviser. - I! t' T 1 1 ped at tho door of Mr. toroge s apartment; Frnnk-oo sooner saw the sombre

I suit cf Mr. Punctilio thin he inwardly exclaimed,

A gentleman ia black this must be ti e very man I bolievc sir, said he to Mr. Punctilio, 'you have come about this suit. Now, unfü.-tur.ately for Mr. Punctilio the term tuui Iv Mr. Frank Forage was a very ambi itctjs ono, so that while our v - J y fricni vi S3 alluding to one kind of uit, our so nbre'friend naturally-irnagin-I cd Ms interrogation referred to another. Cextiiy. sir, as Othello says, it is the 'True.' replied Frank, taking the word causH in the legal sense, of course; but the worst is the d d causes are so intimately connected with your effects, the one is sure to go with the other ha! ha! ha! Not so coarse, that, I'm thinking th, o!d fellow' Mr. Peter Punctilio was astonished; he can he mean, I wonder?' 'But you are tired, sir, no doubt; pray be seated, said Frank, offering the genlierr.un in black a chair, of which ho had Punctilio, 'there is an attachment at pres I ent existing.' Ah! he means the writ of attachment, returned Frank in an undertone. 'Per,rLl'J ö'". i w . r"u , first step ycu intend to take will be to enter an appearance.' J.nter an appearance! that is, make my debut before the lady,' said the gentle .man 111 uiacK, asiue. -riamiy 1 thing that I shall do will be to ( man in black, aside. 'Certainly, sir, he the first enter apsing appcarauco I shall mako when 1 do eau r. 1 1 TT".- 1. , 1 tV. 1 ... ... nrtfQ ,1 ill pnma ri a nDrl 9 rfi 1 inn k , KMiuuuru iiaun. aim tiicai auul "3- " vuit.s. win. u ..v... Mr. Punctilio intimated by a nod oi the hea j lha, s,Jch wa3 lhg cour3Q he jD. , 'And after the declaration continued jecl. Have you any to offer?' Why, sir, I think now it would materially assist the case, if you could manage to get Wilde Get wild! Oh, he means to tbrow in a bit of passion,' thought Mr. Punctilio. 'Truly sir, said he, 'that, I have no doubt, would be a grand point But that rests entirely with you. And then, sir, having pleaded, I suppose, you will proceed to join Such is certainly my intentions And having joined, the issue will come as a matter of course The issue." exclaimed the astonished I Mr. Punctilio, shocked at the more mention of 6uch a subject. And about what time after joining do you think we shall have the issue?' continued Mr. Forage. 'Why, the usual time,' replied the perplexed Mr. Punctilio. The usual time ay, but. unfortunate ly, I am so ignorant upon these matters,

Then, sir. all that I can say is.' replied the gentleman in Mack, 'that you are one

of tho most inuorcnt beings for your tirao of life that l ever met with. , 'That may be; but you see, sir, I want particularly the exact time some few weeks, I believe, is it not?' ; 'Some few weeh!' blurted oat the bo-,' wildered gentleman. Well, d n me, if he is not tie veriest nincompoop I ever heard of! Some few weeks indeed months you mean 'Months!' exclaimed the equally astonished Mr. Forage, 'you surely must be mistaken, fir. r there r.nst be a great altoration in the law. 'You must be well aware, sir, that is a law which no one can alter Well, sir, I submit to yonr superior judgment said Fra'nk, 'you of course must know more about these matters than ! I you must have had some hundreds of , issues in your time. i I had some hundreds of issues! What the devil do you take me for?' ' Take vou? replied Frank, why, a law-; yer, to b? sure A lawyer! nousense. I'm no lawyer j no doctor either

The deuce you're not! Egad! I've made 'Now, wouldn't t ee like the performa slight mistake then, 1 suppose. How- ; ingoji the ceremony eh, old chap? ever, it was natural; for, seeing you dres-' Mr. Punctilio in .gined this to allude sed all in black, I mistook you for a limb , to the nuptials, of c urse, and v '.ied, of the law ! 'Certainly that is il object of my wishMistook roe for the devil!' exclaimed : es tho enraged Mr. Punctilio. j 'Devil doubt tt. 0 returned Hodge No. p-rdon me sir replied Frank, 'on; j with a familiar pok. of the ribs; 'they'd ly for r.ie ut the family. However, sicjgota pretty penny )y it now, wouldn't since you are no lawyer, who are you, and J theo?' what is your business here?' ! Tho gentleman il uglit it like his im'I an) Mr. Feier Punctilio, of Change I pertinence, and nier ly replifd that he Alley, Cornhill, and the cause of my vis j supposed he should 3 uo lusei by thcafit was to gain some information respect-, fair. '. ing Mr. Solid's ward, to whom I am about j 'I'll be bound the woaldn't; theeben't to be united I the man to work for nothing, I know. 'The deuce you are!' thought Frank. j 'Work for nothii-!' muttered Mr. P. So! you are my rival,' said he to himself, i This fellow's impud-:icc is past bearing; Egad! this i better luck than 1 had an- but I'll put. an end to this. And so sayticipatcd this is some of Cecelia's do-ling he took his card case from hi3 coat ings, certaicly. Now, if I can only send ! pocket, and tendei'n ; one of his cards to

him on soma fool's errand, that will occupy him half an hour or so, she's mine j beyond a doubt, I havo it, by Jupiter! I'll pack him off to Miss Hollyhock's the lady who was pitched out of the phai-' ton this morning she'6 just been remuv-, ed to her own house, and that's a good mile and a half, at least The idea had no sooner entered the head of our facotious friend than, turning toward Mr. Punctilio, he said, 'i; was perfectly right sir. Mr. Solid and his ward were stopping at the hotel until within a few days past, but they have now removed a shoii ns

residing at Miss Hollyhock's, Hollyhock ' self off without any more bother, I will Hall, about three quarters of a milo on! make thee wrant an undertaker thyself bethe Bath road. fore Vre done with thee. And Hodge Thank you, sir Miss Dollymop's. ! threw himself into an nttiiudo which Dollymop Hall, I think you saidl' j seemed to forebode a breach of the peace. 'No sir, pardon me Hollyhock, Hot- ! 'What is tho meaning of all this? delyhock Hall. Any person will put you rnanded Mr. Punctilio, in the way of it I 'Why, that a man of thy years ought Hollyhock I shall remember three I to be ashamed on himself, so he ought, to quarters of 0 mile on the Bath road. 1 come here for such a purpose as thee Egad! must lose no time or I shall break j hast. an appointment for the first time in my 'What is my purpore to you, sir? There life. I have now only to thank you for fs my card, with my name and address

your politeness, and wish you a very good morning. 'A stupid puppy he muttered, as he made a profound bow to the gentleman and quitted the room, 'to take me for a lawyer a lawyer, indeed! a fellow whose black suit is but the livery of the infernal master ho serves Frank Forage burst into a violent fit of laughter after his precise rival had taken his leave, and having cut ono joke at tho old gentleman's expense, hastened to claim the fulfilment of Mr. Solid's enSgemeut. CHAPTER IV. Let us now take a peep at the interior of the housa to which Mr. Punctilio was hastily directing his steps. .The evening was fast drawing on for it was at the latter end of October last, that the events here narrated occurred anil Hodge, Miss Hollyhock's man, as he was rather equivocally styled by his neighbors, was in the hall busily engaged in preparing the lamp for its night duty. Well, dang it said Hodge, providing the burner with a fresh cotton, and rui minating unon his mistress' accident, 'but this is a deadly awkward job, surely. Who'd a thought on old blind Bess running away wi' anything, now let alone missuf, and she be no feather; but I suppose it be these Cheltenham waters, for they be dovils to set one working, so they be. I shouldn't wonder, now that missus be so discomfolidated, we shall have this ere place beset with all them folks what gets their living by other people a dying. Why, dang it, but this ere Cheltenham town, where your invalids come and drink themselves to death for the benefit of their health, bo a regular colony of doctors and undertakers, and sich like deadly-lively kind of people. And they do tell I, that as soon as a body be taken dangerously ill, the undertakers do come in a swarm, and makes up to poor servants to get their cards stuck in the chimney piece, so as to have the Job. I should like to catch any of them fellows now a trying any of their tricks upon Hodge. 'Od rabbit 'un; wouldn't 1 sarve "un out! I send 'un off quicker than one of his own return yearses. (Rat-tat-tat went the knocker.) 'Zookers!' continued Hodge, 'if there ben't a knock at the door. I shouldn't wonder but that be one 'em come already Hodge opened the door, and Mr. Peter Punctilio entered, whose sable suit no sooner caught the eye of the servant than he said to himself, A gentleman in mac. eh? He be undertaker, beyond a doubt. This is the house of Miss Hollyhock, I presume?' said Mr. F. Whv, to be sure replied Hodge; 'and

I guess I know wUt jrou be come about, loo, old gentleman

Oh, you do, do vou?' ho returned, 'then ; thank Heaven. IV all riRht at last.' You be co;r.e o out Miss, to be sure I'm up to s 11 u 17';' nd Hodge gave him aj rather unccremoni -us nudge of the elbow, j 'Indeed rather., strange ihey should 1 make their their servant J ecquainted with such j matters. Thsn fvi have been expecting me?' 'To be sum I h".e you, and a dozen more on ye A dozen mnre .invited some friends to moet me I dare x,' thought Mr. P. ,'What, you are gi xg to Lave a party here are you? Ees. I surpc-te so. There generally be rather a strong jarty, you know, inj such cases, eh? ohl thap j 'Oh, certaiulv: it is the usual custom.! He has a very ur deasant manner, this ; fellow, said Mr. P. aside. 'Ay, and so you determined to come; early, ch? and try t get the promise be-1 fore the others arrived. Oh, you re a deep old file, that y- u bo 'Get the promisi of marriage, I presume he means.' Hodge, said, 'There is my card, and be pleased to take it up ftairs. Hodge grinned kiurringly at his visi tor, and, without 01: .'ring to lay a finger to the small bit of Me-board extended to him, exclaimed, ! thought it 'u lcomo to that. So! that l vour. card, be it? and ye wants I to ta : it up stairs, do ee? I'll tell thee what n w, -old gentleman, I'll see thee d d yt. See me d d il ;öt!' c-ied Mr. Tunctillio, do you know whom ycu'r speaking to?' Ees. io hp sure .!;d: ar. J I'll tel! thee r :.?; o'vt f-TT'w ;v,,l rT thee does'l take th upon it will you take h or not? 4I told thee afore I'd see thee d di first don't want nothing to do with your card, I knows what's cn it well enough Nicholas Cannibal, or some sich name, cofiln maker and undertaker funerals performed ou the most reasonable terms-' Nicholas Cannibal, coffin-maker and undertaker! What does the booby mean? What! do thee mean to have the face to tell I that thee didn't come here to H v m und bury miss, eh? 'Bury miss! I came here, exclaimed ihe bewildered Punctilio, 'to bu'y no miss, but to marry one 'What! and thee be'est not of ihem undertaking rascals really? 'Devil on undertaker, am 1 Well, dang it, but this be a pretty mistake o'thine, Hodge said that person to himself. 'Hows ever, it were quito natral, you know, master; for seeing you dressed all in black, 1 in course took you for an undertaker An undertaker! First to be mistaken for a doctor, then a lawyer, and then an undertaker, and all because I happened to be dressed in black devil take the black, I say!' Well, I ax jour pardon, sir, for the mistake; but, Ia bless ye, thee did look so deadly like one of them death-hunters, thee can't blame I for it. Besides who'd a thought thee'd have come a love-making to a lady who's more like to want a windingsheet than a wedding gown?' 'Gracious heaven! what, then, is the ward of Mr. Solid dangerously ill? No, but Miss Hollyhock be 'The devil take Miss Hollyhock! roared out the enraged Mr. Punctilio! 'what is Miss Hollyhock to me? Was there tver such a blundering booby as this! I tell you I came here to pay my addresses to the ward of Mr. Solid can I see the lady?' Miss Hollyhock da livo here, sir I tell you I havo got nothing, and want nothing to do with your Miss Hollyhock. Does not Mr. Solid live here? answer me that La! bless your innocent heart,' replied Hodge, 'no.' Mr. Solid do live at No. 10, the Bell Hotel, down in the town, to be sure: and I do know, coz misses was took there after the haxident A pretty fool, then, that puppv has mado of me, most assuredly and made j me break my appointment into the bar gam. It 'ud serve him right if I was to breaX his head in return. No. 10, 1 think you said? 'Ees, that be it, sure enough. Hows' ever, I'll come with thee, and show theo ; the very place, it thee likes, for I've got to call at Dr. Totiou's, close by

'Ah, that will prevent the possibility of any further mistake. Only show meto

Mr. Solid's and I will make you a present 01 a guinea. No! will thee, now? Come along, then for money do make lhe mare to go surely Do you lead the way said Mr- Punc tilio. 'The stupid dolt! to mistako me for an undertaker a fellow that puts on block clothes as a pall wherein lo bury the joy be feels at other people's woe Leaving Mr. Punctilio to retrace his steps under the guidance of Hodge to the Bell Hotel, let us now roturn to lhe apartments of Mr. Solid. .CH AFTER V. Frank Forage, immediately after he had despatched the gentleman in black on the errand above narrated, sped to the fair Cecelia, and acquainted her with the success that had attended their plans. The tender couple wailed until it was a full quarter past the time appointed by the pricise Mr. Punctilio, and then hastened to demand from Mr, Solid the fulfilment of his engagement Well, well replied that gentleman. 'I must acknowledge I am fairly beaten, and I must keep my word, I suppose.' Yes, fir returned the vivacious Frank, you had better keep your word in this instance, in case you should want to give it to any one on a future occasion. That will do, I think for an extempore. Ah!' exclaimed Cecilia, 'I thought my good guardian would not hesitalo to fulfil his promise. You will give your countenance to our union now, won't you, sir? Yes, you will of course give your countenanco to our union said Mr. Forage, and so put a good face on the matter. Come, that isn't so bad, either You are a strange fellow,' replied Mr. Solid, smiling at the jocular compliment, and I think your heart is in the light n!ace.' 'Right place!' returned Frank; I fancy it is, too, since my dear little Cecilia has the possession of it ! Cecilia blushed beautiful, of course. There, say no more about it,' said Mr. Solid. 'Give me your hand, sir Cecilia, ycurs. Take her he added joining their palms, 'and mind and treat her kindly. And now, the sooner this affair is settled, the better,' remarked Mr. Solid; 'so run you, Mr. Forage, and send Mr. Splice, the clergyman, to me. Y'ou know where he lives only a few doers down the street, and I-will arrange the weddingday with him; and you, Cecilia, can, if ytfu like, put on your bonnet and accompany Mr. Forage; for it would be a pity lo sperate you at this moment.' Come, inJu'cecuiaVued Vir. F., ''tor I am as anxiou3 for the performance of the bridal ceremony as your guardian himself. The bridal ceremony! Yes! a bridal ceremony it is most assuredly, for it generally puts a curb upon one for tho rest of one's days. That will do to go out with, I flatter myself and Cecilia, having slipped on her chapeau dc paille.U. Forage and she hastened towards the priest of Hymen, and left Mr. Solid to his thoughts. Well, he said, turning the affair over in his mind, 'I am fairly caught in my own trap; but what could have detained Mr. Punctilio I am utterly at a loss to conceive. However, that's his business, and no! m ine thought better of it maybe; and perhaps it is all for the best; for although I believe Mr. Punctilio to be th? more eligible match of the two, yet, as the girl's affections are centered on this rattle-brained but good humored flame of hers, I have no doubt her union with Forage will turn out well, and I shall have done my duty to her; and so the sooner the knot is tied the better. The clergyman will soon be here, nnd I hope, with his assistance, to be quickly released from the very ungrateful office of catering for the happiness of a giddy, wayward girl. A tap at the door cut short Mr. Solid';; ruminations. 'Come in!' cried Solid. Mr. Peter Punctilio entered. A gentleman in Black!' inwardly exclaimed Mr. Solid. 'Oh this is the parson beyond doubt I presume,' said Mr. Punctilio, 'I havo the pleasure of addressing Mr. Soiid. I am Mr. Solid, sir,' replied that gentleman. 'And if I am not mistaken, the object of your visit is respecting the marriage of my ward?' That certainly is, responded Mr. Punctilio, 'the interesting cause of my presence hero. Well, thank Heaven! he added aside, there can be no mistake now 'What I particularly wished to consult you upon was the fixing the day for the ceremony.' Fixing the day for the ceremony? He is in a precious hurry!' said Mr. Solid in an under tone. Then, if I understand you rightly, sir, he continued, addressing Mr. S., 'the lady is perfectly agreeable Oh, certainly, quite infatuated! The object of all her w ishes.' Oh. indeed! Well, really this is particularly gratifying. She certainly must have seen or heard of me somewhere or other. Tho dear creature!' The latter part of this speech was, of coursa delivered aside. To be sure, continued the guardian, thero was another suitor; but, as he was old enough to be her grandfather, and the girl did not care two buttons about him. How could she do otherwise? remarked the unconcious Mr. Punctilio. 'Why, of course I thought it my duty to accede to her wishes. Do you think I did right, sir?' Oh, perfectly xigdit, 6ir, perfectly right: the vain old fool! What could he expect bad he married the girl, but that by the time his honey-moon began to wane, the horns would be making their appearance?' Tho horns! How very strange, for a

man of his cloth!' muttered the. astonished Mr. Solid, 'lloweter. sir, I am glad you approve of my conduct.' 'Why. sir 1 do not exactly see how I could luve done otherwise.' Yo do me honor, sir.'

'Touching, however; the celebration of! the ceremony, understand me, sir,' con-

turned Mr. Solid, 'although llnvo 110! columns of Lofuult thould bo directed wish that there should beany indecent i against that part. a being Jess exposed haste m the nti'dir, yet 1 do not w-ant it ! 10 ihe heavy fire by which this wotk is delayod any longer than absolutely uec-j protected. essary. Now, sir. what day would you I It wes nrranged between Sir W. Co lfix upon. Your experience ia these m;t- ingtoii and Lieutenant General Markham, teis far stirppasses mine of ioukp. It ' that th. assaulting column of 1.000 n.en must bo somo time sinco you first took ' s-hould be fanned by ejua! numbers of orders?' j these two Division.-; the LUht Divilioi. Why, yes; I have been in buMn. ss to leud and the second to follow. I hey many a year now,' replied Mr. Punctilio.! left the trenches at the preconcerted sigthinking Mr. Solid aiiud-d to try dif-' u:ijt ami t:ioved across the pound, preceferent kinds of orders from clerical oua. ded by a covering prty of tiGO men. and Ay! and you must have mturied not a ! a ladder party of .V-'J men. On arriving few in your time, no duubt?' j at the crest of the ditch, the ladders w ere 1 married not a few!' j placed, snd the men im:i.ediately storm'Certainly; and had many u child to ed the parapets of the Redan, and vev.Q-

üaptise, 01 course? I had many a chihl! What can he mean?' muttered the bewildered Mr. Punctilio. And buried somo hundreds. I'll be bound!' What tho devil is he talking about? I never married any one jet.' 'The deuce vou havu't. osir; nor have 1 ever had a c.mJ by any body sir-' lou never had a child, Whv, 1 never said you had. 'You did, sir! You taid that I hdd ma ny a one.' 'Yes but I meant u;.U to baniize

'Sir, I don't think jou know w hut you j ly cine than to Col. Windham, who galn"con?' j laut. y headed his column cf attack, and 'What did you say. sir?' j was fortunate in entering end remaining I said, sir, that I'll be d d il I think j w ith the troops during the contest. The you know what you moan!' ( trenches were, subsequently li this at 'Then, sir, all I have to say is, that ui tack, so crowded with troops that I us,

man of your profession ought to be ashamed of himself to niuka use of such an ejipresaion' My profession. sir! 'Vv'hal do you mean by that?' 'i mean, sir, tint Piety seems only your profusion, and not your praclic?! A person like ,a, who is in lhe habit ol preaching ' 'Habit of pieaching!' Yes, sir, I .repeat it, in the habit of preaching, and then to give vent to such horrible discourse, mr;st be a sanctified old hypocrite. A sanctified old'hypocrite! You are a pudding-headed old fool 'Well I'd raiher bo a puddiu-hcaded p'1 A pious old rascal: roared the exa?per etedMr. Punctilio, who was just about to raise his cano, and inflict summun punishment upon Mr. Solid for the expression, when the door suddenly opened, and in rushed Frank Forage; exclaiming, 'Here, Mr. Solid, here is the perton!' The parson!' ejaculated Mr. Solid, starting at the two gentlemen in black. What ti.en, isi.'i this gentleman (pointing to Mr. Punctilio) the parson?' Parson,' crit-d Mr. Punctilio. 'No I am no parson. nor lawyer, uor doctor, nor undertaker neither!' 'Then upon my word, I have to beg you a million pardons for my conduct. Cut, you tee, being dressed all in blek, I

naturally mistook you for one of the cler- j inr? under the direction of Captain Wolgv - colt, of the Odin, and Captain Digby, of

DMr. Soiid imagined what was speaker s mouth. Then came the explanation. Mr. Sol id was very sorry, but his ward betrjthed rntlllf I nnr !fllCA 1.1 f'lianna ..11... n . . . u" 11 1 . -j i. iiii;), anu lieBlack. J Central Simiison's Offirial Dispalrh Mais of the Grand dsuult, iVc. The following is the dispatch brought to England by Col. Curzou: Beioee Sew.stoi'ol, Sept. t). I had tho honor to apprise your lord ship, in iny dispatcn of tho 4th instant, that the engineers and artillery officers of the allied armies had laid before Gen. Pelissierand myself a report, recommen - ding that the assault should be made on the 8th inst., after a heavy fire had been kept up for two days. This arrangement was agreed to, and I have lo congratulate your lordship on the glorious result of the attack yesterday, w hich has ended in the possession of the town, dockyards aud public buildings, and the the destine tion of the last ship of the Russian fleet in the Black Sea. Three steamers alone remain, and the capture or sinking of these must speedily follow. It was arranged that at 12 o'clock in the day, the French columns of attack were to leave their trenches, and to take possession of the Malakoff and adjacent works. After their success had been assured and they were established, the Redan was to be assaulted by the English. The Bastion, Central and Quarantine Forts were to be simultaneously attacked by the French. At tho hour appointed our allies quitted their trenches, entered and carried the apparently impregnable defences cf the Malakoff, with that impetuous valor that characterizes the French attack, and having once obtained possession ihey weie never dislodged. The tri colors planted on the parapet was the signal for tho English troops to advance. The arrangements for the attack I entrusted to Lieutenant General Codington, who carried out the details in concert with Lieutenant General Markham. I determined that the second and light Divisions should have tho honor ot the assault, xrora me

1 . AT. f. 1' 1. L'

, 1 1 I 1, 1 r 1 1 i his army 0.1 the fail oi Sevastopol, tendered his humble apologies for the trick . f. j r c . 1 1 , , , , ... 5 ... , I "Tue defei.co of Sevastopol, which has he. had played Mr. Peter I uncti 10, butt, 4 , , 1 i 1 1 ; . , , . I lasted so long, and which :s, perhaps, unall was fair in loe. And Mr. Peter , , 0 i 1 ? ..... . . . fxamnlcd in imhtnrv annals. 1 as drawn

Punctilio vowed ho would return to his '-. .. t ' r " " f ,inri. at Ilia Dltnnlwlil .nt liiliV r I I. lioill

circumstances of tlu ir having defended the batteries nnd approaches against tho Redan for so many months, and from the intimate knowledge they possessed cf the ground. The fire of our artillery haV-ng mado as much ol a brmb as rossible jn tho

I sahen of the Redan, I derided that tho tiatcd the salient ende. A nost deter mined and bloody combat was here maintained for nearly an hour, and though tho greatest bravery displayed, it wes found impossible to maintain the petition. Your Lordship will perceive by thj long and sad list of casaslities, with w hit gallantry and self deo:iou the officers pUced themselves at the hea i of 1L0 j men during this sanguinary coalhet. j I fcel myself unable to express in adJ equate U mis, the tense i eiüertaiu of th conduct and gallantry exhibited by the troops, though their devotion was not rewarded by that eucccss which ihey merited. To uo one are im thanks mote justj unable to organize & second attack, which 1 intended to make with the Highlander under Lieut. Gt.. Campbell, who h&d hitherto formed the reserve, to be supported by the third diviison, under M-jjcr General Sir Wm. Eyre. 1 therefore sent for thete officers, and arranged with them to leuew the attack the following morning. The Highland brigade occupied tho advanced trenches during the night. About eleven o'clock the enemy com. menced exploding their magazines, & Sir Colin Campbell, having ordered a sma'4 party to advance cautiously nnd examiue the Redan, found the works abandoued. He did 110k however deem it necessary to j occupy the woiks cut'.' df , '; .. .Tha Villi.- Ufj . 1 was made manifest during the night, laud fires appeared in every part, accompanied by heavy explosions, under the cover of which the enemy succeeded i:i withdrawing their troops to the r.oith fc'n'.o by the means of the raft bridge recently constructed, and which they afterwards disconnected and conveyed to the other side. Their men of war were al! sunk during the night. The boisterous weather rendered it altogether impossible fjr the ad mirals to fulfill their intentions cf bringj ing the broadsides of the allied fleets to bear upon the quarantine batteries. Ati excellent efftcl was produced by the animated and well directed fire of their mortar vessels, those of her Majesty bci the Royal Marine Ariilleiy. RUSSIA. AL'MJLiS or i::e czab to his ai:my. The following is the text of the oidtr ! of the day addressed by tho Emperor lo I I 1 1 nn ti i , r IIFrom its very com ! iv.onrtii'.nnt it li! Hfi ITS it i I fl : 1 rS in T 'lit '"lu"u,u" I - same rank as the most il'ustrious heroes of our country. In the course of tiefen mouths the garrison of Sevastopol has disputed w ith :a powerful enemy ttery inch of ground of country which surrounds the town, and each of its enterprises has been distinguished by tho most brilliant bravery. j -piic obstinate bombardment four times miewcd. and the fire of whieh has been j ustly styled 'infernal,' shock the walls Lf our fortifications, but could not shake ! or diminish ths zeal of their defenders. j They beat the cnemv or died with indomitable courage, with a eelf denial wor thy of the isoldiers of Christ, without a j thought of surrendering. Regretting from my heart the los3 of so many generous warriors, who ofiered their lives as a sacrifice to their country, and j submitting with resignation to the will of the Most High, whom it has not pleased to crown their acts w ith complete success, I feel it a sacred duty, on this occasion, to express in my name, as well as in that of all Russia, to the brave garritson of Ssvastopol the warmest gratitude for its indefatigable labors, for the blood it has shed in the defence, for nearly a year, of these fortifications which it erected in a few days. But there are impossibilities even for heroes. On the 8th of this month, after six desperate assaults which were repulsed, the enemy succeeded in getting possession of the important KorniloiT Bastion (Malakoff) and the Commander-in-Chief of tho army of the Crimea, desirous of sparing lhe precious blood ol his companions, who, under the circumstances, would only havo thed it uselessly, decided upon passing over to lhe north side of the fortress, leaving only blood stained ruins lo the besieging enemy. Those tried heroes, the object of lha general esteem of their comrades, will I doubtless give, in re-entering ctually in Concluded on fourth 2,n?f )