Plymouth Tribune, Volume 9, Number 30, Plymouth, Marshall County, 28 April 1910 — Page 6

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By virtue of its uncqualcil bloodp ii r i f y i n nerve-strengthening, stomach-toning, appetite-restoring properties, is the one Great Spring Medicine. Get it to lay. In liquid form or chocolated tablets called S.irsatub.J. lvO doses, $1. One Quiet Sn-M. "Tili?." nai.l the chauffeur, pointing to a lar?t and irnposins: mansion, surrounded by beautiful and well kept Kronndi-. fottio distance Ij.ick from thn roadway. "Ls the only place around here where, they have an absolutely safe and rune 1'ourth of July." "What pL-.ce is it?" asked one of th3 paspenercr. '"It's the county insane asylum." answered the chauffeur. Täere 1 more Catarrh la this section of the .-onctry tlian all other diseases put fir -ther, cd until tU last fT years va. suppoil t ! ineuraMe. For a ;rreat mauy jfjii-i d"' trs pronounced It a local disease en I p.tscrilt d local reme lies, and ly constantly failing to care with local treatment. InD'.a:n.i'J it iucuraMe. Science has proven t itarra to le a constitutional disease an! then-fore requires constitutional treatment. Hail's Oturrii Cure, manufactured l.y F. J. '?if:ii-y &. Co.. Toledo. Ohio. U the oa!y constint ional cire on the market. It is taWen internally in dos.es from H drops to a tras;K;sfa:. It aits directly on the Ulood and LtiK-oiis s irfa.-es of the system. They oEfer one hundred dollars for any case if fails to cure. Send for c'.culars and testimonials. Address: F. J. ClIENKY & CO., Toledo. O. ; y I'ruj-ist-. 7'tc. Take Hall's Family Fills for constipation. IH Z-'autly Memory. "Have yr.a sot any any typewriter ext- rmim tc rs?" asked the small boy. What!" exclaimed the talesgirl, agh.ist. "Typf.vriiGr vxterminators. I think that's what they told me to get. Anyhow, it was something that "1 ö you mean typewriter erasers?" "V !!. maybe that was it. but what the difference? Ain't they the same? 1 want a dime's wurth of 'em." The Flannel Shirt Joke. There used to be a favorite funny papr story about a man who bought a Uani;-I t-.hirt, and every time it was washed it had to be handed down to one of the children until at last the baby was wearing it. Washing flannels titled to be a critical task, but now Easy Task soap is used, and it not only dot not shrink the goods but it leaves the garment soft and comfortable as eiderdown. Easy Task soap is pure, white ar.d sanitary. Iloir lie Remembered. "No, Dickey: I can't let you go fishing to-day. You want to go entirely too often." "Maw, the last time I went fishin was three weeks ago yisterday." "Surely that wasn't the last time, Dickey." "Yes. It was, maw. I remember It Vaus that was the day you held me In the bathtub an made me take a bath." Everybody In This Town Is sick or will be some time with Forne of the diseases that NATURE'S UKMF.DY (XI: tablets) will cure or prevent. If every person knew as ranch about. Nature's Remedy as I do. most of this sickness would be prevented. I want you to know about Nature's Hemedy. I want to send you free at my expense a 10 day treatment that you may know just how pood Nature's Keniedy Is for Constipation. Ühfiimatism. Dyspepsia. Liver and KidKey Complaint, and why Nature's Ii.m--dy is better than Pills for Liver Ills. All DrusjiTists. Vi'rite me today for free 10 days' treatment A. II. Lewis. st. Louir, ilo. Altitude. "Waiter." said the man at the table In the far corner of the restaurant, "this piece of steak Is decidedly too ancient, in spots.". "Our beefsteak is all alike to-day, sir." stiffly answered the waiter, "and you are the only man that has fountf anything wronsr with it." "Probably that's because I am a fast eater," rejoined the other; "I hit only the hish places." Chicago Tribune. DR. MARTEL'H FEMALE PILLS. Seventeen Years the Standard. Prescrlhfd and recommended for women's ailments a scientifically prepared remedy of proven worth. The result from their use is quick and permanent. Foi a! at all drug stores. Practical VI err. "You have heard. I presume." sa!d the student who was taking an astronomical course, "that we've found oxygen on Mars?" "What good will that do us?" grunted the agricultural college student. "What we need on this planet is more nitrogen, and we ceed it darned bad!" SORE EYES, weak, Inflamed, red. watery and swollen eyes, use PETTIT'S EYE SALVE. All druggists or Howard Eros.. Euffalo. N. Y. Reflected from Cricket. "Do you think baseball will ever get a foothold in England?" "They play It some." "As strenuously as we do? "Well, no. They serve tea between the innings, I understand." Pittsburg Post. Constipation causes and aggravates many serious diseases. It is thoroughly cured by Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets. The favorite family laxative. Aaralnt Women Workers. From the Pittsburg offices of the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad came the report that the auditors and statisticians had estimated that the women clerks and stenographers do on the average SO per cent less work than the men. The management therefore will henceforth employ only men. although the present women workers will not dismissed. EXPOSURE TO COLD and wat Is the first Hep to Pneumonia. Take Perry ltoris' PuinkilUr and the danger is ayerted. I'neqcaled for colds, sore tbroat.qi lnsr.Kc,3icandj(ic. The ew Boa. "I know a young and beautiful lady," says Rose Paster Stokes, "who once visited a plant that bad a new foreman. "'Who is the boss here? the beautiful lady asked, approaching the foreman. " 'I am the boss, madam,' be replied. " 'Oh. are ycu?' said ans. "lie thought he detected amazement in her voice, and drawing himself up, he answered coldly: " 'Yes, I am, and I'll prove it. Hlgginson!' "An old fellow looked up from his work. "Higginson. go get your envelope. You're fired!" Washington Star.

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Although the United States Government supports but one national military academy it encourages military training in a number of other schools and colleges by detailing to theie institutions oScers of the army and navy. These subsidiary military schools are I of three kinds. There is. first, the state school which receives financial aid frcm the state government and is regarded as a part of its military establishment. A notable example of this class of schools is the Virginia Military Institute, famous ns the Y"e.n Point r( tho Confederacy, and now enjoying the distinction of bavins more of its graduates in the United States Army than any other school cr colleg?. The second class comprises the ?sricultural and mechanical colleges which have received donations of land from the government and which under tho terms of these grants are required to give instruction in tactics. Private military schools may be considered as 2. : . A COSSACK BIDING EXEKCISE. forming the third class. These schools use military training because of its value as an educational instrument The course of instruction la the classiSuez canal has proved to be one of the most profitable commercial undertakings in the history of the world, and the Manchester ship canal is no.v accomplishing all and more than was premised at first. Engineers and scientists are making exhaustive studies of the recent floods In Paris, to devise a system which will prevent a repetition cf the disaster. It is planned to keep the Seine within Its channel either by constructing higher embankments cr by carrying the surplus waters around the city in a by-pass channel. That the steel car is of great value as a protection to passengers in thex event of collision was demonstrated in a recent clash of two train3 m tne Hudson tunnnel. New York City. There was no telescoping, as would probably have occurred with wooden cars, and the injuries were merely such as resulted from the passengers being thrown down by the shock of the collision. The latest report of the Geological Survey shows that the value of the metallic products of the United States for 1908 was $349,923,116, as against $90.1,802,244 for 1907. The only increase was in the case of gold ?94,5G0,O0O, against $90,433,700. Yet in the cae of copper the quantity was greater in 190S than in 1907942,370,721 pounds, against 86S.936.491 pounds. Tho value of the non-metallic products al?o showed a falling off from $1,107,703,720 in 1907 to $1,043.497,070 in 19DS. The unspecified mineral products, however, increased from $100.000 to $230.000. Petroleum showed an increase in both quantity and value 179,372.179 barrels, against 166,093,335 barrels, and $129,706,233, against $120,100,749. A new petroleum field is being developed on the northern slopes of the Caucasus, about fifty miles from the seaport of Touapse, on the Black sea, in the district of Maikcp, South Russia. It is reported that the thickness of the oil series indicates that the district will take a prominent place among the world's oil regions. The oil is found In Oligocene beds of Tertiary age, and a fact of great interest Is that the oil beds are everywhere associated with a vast abundance of fish and vegetable remains. In one cliff no trace of petroleum is found except in a layer of sandy clay, which alone is full of ancient fish remains. This is regarded as making the inorganic theory of the origin of petroleum inadmissible so far, at least, as the Maikop district Is concerned. At least two Brazilian travelers have described an extraordinary phenomenon connected with the nests of white ants, or termites. Dr. J. S. da Fonseca. who saw the exhibition on the headwaters of the Rio Verde, describes the appearance as that of tiny stars, giving the nest the look of a miniature tower brilliantly illuminated. When the nst was struck with a stick the lights went out, only to reappear again little by little. Castelnau. in the middle of the last century, beheld a similar spectacle near the city of Goyaz. He says that the lights were produced by an immense number of small phosphorescent larva?, which withdrew Into the galleries of the mound when an attempt wa3 made to capture them. Prof. J. C. Branner of Stanford University 1 remarks that this exhibition is prob-; ably confined to some particular species, or to some special occasions or conditions of termite life, since he . has lived and traveled ten years In J Brazil without seeing it. BEAT PAY-AS-YOU-E2.TEH CAT.3. I'arcel Laden Suburban Tratelrra Suceexsf ully Combine. They do not care for new-fangled things on their trolley cars in the suburban districts, the New York Herald says. Pay-as-you-enter cars may be all right in Broadway, but In Yonkers and New Jersey, where the suburbanite is known by the number of parcels he

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THE TSAH7IN3 CF UNITED STATES CAVAL&Y

BLACK HORSS TROOP FORDING A STREAM.

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PYRAM1D Med schools Taries from the two or threo hours per week of drill or lectures In schools and colleges with military departments to the daily routine of the essentially military institutions in which the cadets live in barracks under constant discipline, march to classes and to meals, and receive a course of theoretical and practical mil itary training which takes as its model and approximates as closely as cca I w uwuc in a pi i ait; ui biaie iiist:iution to the superb course of training at the- National Academy at West Point. Even In colleges in which the course is most limited a large number of young men receive each year at least a general Idea of drill, discipline. COMBINED B ALIO

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NEW FRENCH DIRIGIBLE-BIFLANE IS CONSIDERED ABSOLUTELY SAFE. A series of aeroplane trials which have been taking place at Issy-les-Moulineaux. th ? well-known aviation renter in Trance, have been marked by the novel feature cf a combination of the dirigible with the gas bag, and the trials are being watched by aviators with the keenest interest. ' The above illustration shows the tandem biplane belonging to M. Cesar making a llight. It has a cigar-shaped envelope and is fitted with a 3'J-horse povver Prissi and Bertahud motor. London Sphere.

tarries, that sort cf modern equipment ij not wanted, thanks. And, therefore, the Yonkers railroad company and lines to Newark have bowed to the will of the people and are putting hack the g:od old-fashioned cai-3 in which the conductor falls over the passengers' corns. Women are responsible for the reversion to tho old type in Yonkerc. They convinced their husbands that to negotiate three bundles, a bird cage and several children into a car of the pay-as-you-entcr variety required a mathematic training far beyond them. One of the women was the wife of Mrs. Leslie Sutherland, receiver for tho Yonkers Railroad Company. In Newark they adopted business methods to oust the pay-as-you-enter outfit. There a few hundred patrons of the lines agreed to always pay their fares In dollar bills. The result was that the conductors were soon deluged with the bills and unable to carry sufficient change. Besides this. sehedul3s were upset by the delay in making change for so many. Mr. Sutherland told the public service commissioner all about the troubles experienced in trying to introduce the trolley innovation. He said he went to Van Ccrtlandt Park, where passengers change from the subway to the surface lines, and tried to persuade them it would be all right as soon as they got used to the new system. "I went up there," said he, "until the people made fun of ni and called me a politician. I stood near the stairs and tried to persuade the people to get their change ready, and even offered to provide them with change. But they would not listen and set themselves against it, ju?t as they did in Newark, where they formed the dollar committees." iVcam-o of this it was necessary to ; .:t lack eld cars without wheel guards fenders. Commissioner Maltbie decided the compsr.y had been negligent in pioviding proper wheel guards on the old car3 which have come from premature retirement and served notice thn.t if th-) commission's orders are not carried out soon the company will have more trouble on its hands than that experienced at the hands of the Irreconcilable suburbanite. We have noticed that when a woman goes to visit a dear old friend, she stays longer if the ft Send has a new automobile than if the fiiend has a cross baby.

CADETS.

OrOCADETS. and the art of war, while fi'oni the essentially military schools some hundreds of cadets are turned out annually who are thoroughly disciplined and well instructed in the care and handling of troops and who will in time of war prove thoroughly competent officers of volunteers. Thus somewhat the same results are obtained from the military schools, though, of course, on a smaller scale, as from the compulsory military training of European countries. (Jreat attention is paid to horsemanship. Indeed, there is nothing that could be more delightful for a boy than to have a horse of his own and to be taught all sorts of feats such as these pictures illustrate. ON-AEROPLANE. LIVED ON 50 CENTS A "WEEK. London Mixer Wlif Is Wurth a Quarter f a Million Dollar. A miser who had lived for years in squalor on 30 cents a week while he was in receipt of an income of $3.000 a year and had. it is believed. $230.00;) worth of property, has just forsaken his solitary life and sought better shelter In a Salford hospital, a New York Sun's London correspondent says. His name Is John Clarence Hudson. He was found by the hospital officials lying on a bedstead covered with a dirty tag. with a stick by his side to Keep the rats from his food. He told the oCkials that he could live well on ."0 cento a week. A cent's worth of milk had to last him four days and a loaf of bread tor a week. His meat allowance was half a pound a week, and he bought half a pound of sugar every three months. Yet he admitted that he had $17,300 cf railway stock and house property, and It in stated that he received a legacy of $130.000 from his parents. He also declared that he had not been bathed for twenty years, and it took two nurses two hours and a half to make up the arrears in that respect. 13ut amid all the squalor cf his home the officials found a touch cf a longdead romance. A table was laid in one rcom for two people to dine. It had always been kept like that, they were inron.u d by the woman who attended the mi.?er. Hudson, who practiced years aro as a solicitor, is said to have been eroded in love. Another feature of the cae v as tindiscovery of a picture of Spani h b gar girls, which, Hudscn dr!:i:T.;. a Murülo. Wlir.t Accountancy ",lc:un. Acrov.r.taney is nil and lu-ver .;:. be a natter cf abstract kno.vl. ,!- to Le transferred by means of le. iua-.s. but is the art cf knowing lu: in s::p ply that knowledge to the requirements of business under very varying conditions. It is essentially c,u hin.; that cannot be t irght in lectun-s or i lasses, but c an only be ncquind i a result ciJ careful individual küi! and a reasonable amount of actual practice. Bookkeeping. "Dees your husband play bridge well?" "Some portions of it," rcpllol young .Airs. Torkins. "Everybody says Charley j3 a good loser." Washington Star.

; :;:;! Ilrvrnue Irod jiot-r. The President of the United States not lcr.g ago taid that the new tariK is the best revenue producer of all the tarift laws tho country has had. Now comes, the month of .Manh to add its testimony. And what do its figures she : There then came into the treasury of the United States, by reason of receipts froia customs, the enormous sum of $oo.722.GS9. The Associated Press has spoken of this sum as some four millions larger than has been received from customs in any month since the new tariff went into operation. That is a mild way of putting it. Never before has so much as $3).00't,0oi tome into the treasury from the customs. The month in all the past most nearly approaching this great month's doings was that of July, lt'Oi). when the receipts reached the then unprecedented amount nf f-C3.1G2. In March. 1909, the customs yielded 32S.C31.73t;. more than $4.000.000 less than last month showed. Again, the gross receipts fcr the fiscal year, thus far, foot up $234,833.443 from tho customs. Last year the sum received in the corresponding period was ?216.tLV,.uy-I. the gain being nearly $3s.bi-o.0ou. In tho -boom" year, l:'"o-7. the same period brought into the treasury $2-H'.7S7.390, the largest amount that had been received from that i-ouroe in a eon responding period. Was the President ir error when he spc-ke of the tariff and the revenue? But some one may say that this 1 :ir;? gain is because of higher duties. Not so. The tight months that ended with Fobruary (March's figures as to imports not being as yet available) witno;sed the importation of goods to the amount of $1,021.400.000. The duties paid during tho?c months aggregated $21 i.t 12.731. or 20.77 per cent of the value cf the geeds imported. For the corresponding period last year the percentage of the duties was 23.07 per oent. The bureau of statistics makes the average ad valorem duty to b? 21 per cent since the new tariff tcnlc-effect. This is the lowest rate of duty since the repeal cf the Walker tariff. But. again, an anti-protection paper tiies to parry the force of these figures by claiming that tha low rate is rutepether to be credited to the larger amount of free goods being received in this country now. about 33 percent; of which those who insist on "downward revision" cannot certainly complain, even though the wisdom of some cf the "drops" in that respect is open to doubt. Yet the fact is there is steady increase in the amount of duti able goods coming in. While ths amount of imports for the month of February is known, the proportion paying duty is not yet at hand, uut let us look at tho figures for the period from September 1 to February 1, five months in all. of which the new tariff was in operation. The dutiable goods received in those months of the present fiscal year footed up $313.290,491. In the corresponding period of the year before there came in of such goods $272,313,368, about 13 per cent increase. The volume this year falls cnl) about $7,000.000 below that re ceived in the corresponding period three years ago, which was the greatest volume cf importations the country has kuown. If those figures do not argue that the new tariff is downward revision, what would? Must there be a general crash of American industries as of old in order that "downward revision" shall be realized? Dos Moines Capital. It HemaliiN to lie Seen. If any mistake was made in the tariff law it was in reducing the rates too much Instead of too little. In the first six months of the new law the importation of goods that came in competition with home made goods increased $2ü0,U00,Oü0 over the same six months last year. That much money was sent abroad for goods that might just as well have been made by our own workmen and sold by our own manufacturers. The balance of trade in our favor is steadily dwindling, and if this continues the time may come when it will be the other way and we will have to ship our gold abroad to pay our debts. The law is a success as a money raiser because it Increases importations, but it remains to be seen whether it will be alike beneficial to home Industries. Boulder (Colo.) News. I-'uruier C'nuiiot lie Fooled. Just what tan be said to the farmers of Iowa iu favor of a new tariff agitation we are not informed. Our farmers never were so prosperous. Every farmer who votes to reopen the tariff question, votes to reduce the price of hogs, cattle, sheep, butter, eggs and every other farm product. Our advice to the farmers of Io.va is to tell the tariff agitator to "go way back and sit down." We fancy the farmers do not need any advice under present conditions. They know when they are well off. Free-trade with Canada will not advance the price of hogs or any other farm product in the United States.--Des Moines Capital. Will Sustain the Party. This is what President Taft said to the Illinois editors and its expresses the whole thing: "I siqeerely hope that the Republican editors of Illinois will stand by the action of the Republican Congress and the Republican administration in reference to the tariff bill and other progressive legislation." President Taft will not be disappointed. The Republican editors of Illinois will sustain the Republican party upon all questions, and especially upon the tariff question. Freeport (111.) Journal. Kaay VIoney. "How much does that stylish doctor of yours charge?" "Ten dollars a visit." "dee: How often has ho called at your house this month?" "Twenty times." "Ciosh: You owe him $20. then?" "Nope, only $10. He's made the other It." nineteen calls trying to collect Too II ii My. Mrs. Neighbor Did you ever notice that Mrs. Chattcrton never tells a tiling about herself? you Mrs. Homer Yes. It keeps her so busy telling things about the other people that she has no time to talk about herself. CI icngo News. Snperl. "What a regal carriage be has! There U surely royal blood in his veins. Do you know him?" whispered the enthusiastic woman. "Yc," replied the man: "he comes of a long Uno of Janitors." Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.

HEARST AND HIS PARTY.

William Randolph Hearct, after havh'.g been a Bcmoerat, an Independent, a iemrera: ag.ii:i, and on.e more an Independent, slio.w. svmptonu of more boecir.! ig a I);-:v;-rat. At "eivon dinner in Wasliig'.on the night hi:? repir tentative. John the .! Oil'.vT lemple draves. intimated amid draves. intimated amid applause that Hearst might bring his party back into the fehl providrd the Democratic party swallowed the principles of the Independence League, whatever these may be. The Democrats should have no difficulty in the deglutition of the Independent League. They would perhaps have more trouble in locating it. That famous party, the only on? in the country that ever was incorporated, has had a checkered existence. At times it has seemed as though it had real political virility; at others, it has entirely disappeared. For the most part it seems to hae been the personal appendage of William R. Hearst, who financed it lavishly. If the Democrats can find it at all. th?y will probably discover that it consists largely of public ownership men v.-ho have be?n drawn together in local campaigns, but who have no common affiliations u rational matter's. Minneapolis Journal. I'aets for l'ar-ri.er and Laboring M-n The protective tariff is the safeguard of the farmers and the mechanics. Before the McKinley' or Dicgley bills were passed this country was at a very low ebb. Business was prostrated, the shops were many of them closed, while others were running only on quarter or half time. The aicn in the shops were earning scanty wages, with work only a few days in each week. Children were actually starving for bread and strong men begged for employment. This is no fancy picture we are painting but a statement of ccld facts, which hundreds and thousands can still remember. At last a change came. The dark clouds parted and out from under them came the sunshine of prosperity that gladdened and warmed every heart. The factory fires wore rekindled, cut from the tall chimneys i cured the black smoke and from the furnaces came the red glare that cheered and blessed the workmen in the shops. This is no fancy tale but a statement of cold facts. What brought the change? The McKinley bill was passed and from the very moment the act became law the sun of prosperity shone out over all this fair land and the country was never in all its history so healthy and prosperous. What was it that brought the change. It was the protective tariff law: Men with selfish interests are clamoring for another change. They care nothing for anybody but themselves. They want the tariff removed so that their profits will be larger and their coffers full to overflowing. What if labor is cut off and wages reduced. What is it to them except that they are to reap the reward of distress and poverty that is sure to follow? Farmers, mechanics, laboring men you sons of toil who depend upon labor for your daily bread, do you want to go back to the days of free trade? Norwalk (O.) Reflector. uiokeles Powder. The idea is very general that smokeless powder in being practically smokeless achieves its greatest end, but as a matter of fact its smokeless feature is incidental and was an accident. When the Idea of modern long range guns was conceived it was at once apparent that the old 'black powder lacked explosive force, and thousandi of experiments were made with va rious chemicals to procure a powder, of high explosive properties, and thi was at last accomplished. When the new powder was tried much to the surprise of every one il was found that practically no smoke followed the explosion, though th!-; could of course have been predhtec" had the question ever arisen. Thf volume of smoke from black powder is due mainly to the quantity ot char coal in the powder, an ingredient nol found in the smokeless explosiveN Smokeless powder, though , a greai boon to the sportsman, is of question able value on the battlefield, so far a? its smokelessness is concerned. The smoke clouds of old days were frequently most advantageously used tc cloak movements of troops and batteries and really Interfered with the enemy much more than with the trooja creating the smoke. Spain Heins Moni)- Modernize)!. In the matter of urban development the use of electricity, transportation fa cilities, the chief cities of Spain "am quite on a level with any modern cities of their size, and the cinematograph is as much of a craze here as in the United States. Perhaps there are 3,000 automobiles owned in Spain. The illiteracy of the country Is appal- J ling, about 0 per cent of the population being analphetic. The small size and restricted character bf book stores at Madrid and Barcelona show only too plainly that there Is no large reading public to cater to. Newspapers, too, whilo sufficiently numerous, are poorly printed on cheap? paper, as are most bound publications also, and telegraphic and news services are very meager. Something, though not cnuch, is being done to promote public education. American Review of Reviews for March. The rVevtly wed. "Dearest!" "What is it. pet?" "I simply must have a new morning gown." "But. lovey " "Listen! The new cook will bo here before noon, and I haven't a decent frock to receive her in!" Munt Hell er the tiood. "Statesmanship has its cares, sail one eminent citizen. "Yes," replied the other; "wiien a statesman travels, he has to get up speeches for the people to read, instead of merely sending home post cards." Washington Star. ' Logic. A beehive Is a diseased potato. You obtain this startling information in the following way: A beehive is a bee-holder. A beholder is a spectator. A specked tater is a diseased ih t at o. London Fun. The Captive. "They tell me Maude Burlocks is going to be married." "You're misinformed. Miss Burlocks is going to marry the man who is going to be married. Your difficulty is that you don't know Miss Burloihs." On the principle of the slide trombone is a gas fixture invented by an Indiana man, so constructed that the burner may be slid to any point along the wall of a room where the light is most needed.

Top (who has dined off hashed mutton) Bill, waiter. Waiter What did you have, sir? Top (sarcastically) 1 haven't the faintest idea. "Did you get in without your wife hearing you las: night?" "No, and I didn't get in without hearing her, either." Houston Post. "Who is the gentleman seated in the large touring car?" "That is the pcet laureate of a well known biscuit factory." Birmingham Age-Herald. "Do you think there is really any such thing as platoaic love?" "Yes. It exists between most husbands and their wives." Chicago Record-Herald. "Papa, what is faith?" "Well, my boy, they say your baby brother sleeps, but I've never seen him do it. Yet, if I believe he does, that's faith." Life. She (as they dance) I'm afraid I'm tiring you rather. He Oh, not at all. I used to be attendant in the elephant house at the zoo. Meggendorfer Blatter. Knickei Jones is all the time wanting more money. Bocker No wonder; Ids father was a college president and his mother was a woman. New York Sun. "Do )o you really believe this aviator! come back to the starting point?" i wiu come back to the starting pom "He won't dare do otherwise. His wife is waiting for him there." Filegenie Elaetter. Vicar And what Induced you to send for me. Mr. Russett? Russett What's 'e say, Betty? Betty 'E says: "What the deuce did you send 'im for?" M. A. P. "Why don't you teach your son a lesson by making him live without hia allowance for a while?" "Goodness! I -can't even make him live within it:" Cleveland Leader. Lady My cooking always tastes sc good to you, and it never suits ray husband at all. Beggar Well, why don't you get a divorce and marry me? Meggendorfer Blaetter. "I am a plain-spoken man," said the applicant for a job. "I'm afraid you won't do," replied the railroad official. "We are advertising for an experlencej train announcer." Philadelphia Ree ord. "Father," said little Rollo, "what la an epigram?" "An epigram, my sou, as modernly propounded, is any sen tence containing less than two conjunctions and three commas." Washington Star. "Does she seem to take kindly to society ways, now that her husband has made such a pile?" "Oh, yes, indeed, She was the loudest talker at grand opera the other night." Cleveland Plain Dealer. "John," queried her husband's wife; "if seme bold, bad man were to kid nap me would you offer a reward?" "Sure thing," replied the wife's hua band. "I always reward those who de me a favor." Boston Courier Inquisitive. Lady And what is this little box for? Nerve-Racked Clerk Oh, for odds and ends! Inquisitive La dy But it has two compartments. Whj is that? Nerve-Racked Clerk One foi odds, madam, and the other for ends. Harvard Lampoon "Would it Ih? any harm to decelv her about my age?" inquired the elder ly millionaire. "Probably not." "I'm sixty. How would it do to confess tc fifty?" "I think your chances would be better with her if you claimed sev enty-five." Kansas City Journal. "How nicely you have ironed thes things, Jane!" said the mistress, ad mlringly, to her maid. Then, glancing at the glossy linen, she continued in a tone of surprise: "Oh, but I see they are all your own 'Yes." replied Jane, "and I'd do all yours just like that if I had time." Central Christiaa Advocate. "My brother, my poor brother!" sh moaned, as a halfback was carried un conscious from the field. "Ah, but ho thankful we should be," her escort, an old player, cried gayly. "Thankful! Thankful for whatr exclaimed th girl. "Thankful that it wasn't a full back, said he. "We haven't a decent fullback sub. you know." Minneapolis Journal. Friend So yours was a case of love at first sight? Mrs. Getthere Yes, In deed. I fell desperately in leve with my dear husband the moment I set eyes upon him. I remember it as distinctly as if it were yesterday. I was walking with papa on the beach at Long Branch, when suddenly papa stopped, and, point ;g inra out, said 'There, my dear, is a man worth ten millions." yew York Weekly. "Jane," said a lady rather sharply to her cook, "I must Insist that you J;eep better hours and that you have less company in the kitchen at night Last night you kept me from sleeping because cf the uproarious laughter ol Jone of your woman friends." "Yis, mum, I know," was the apologetic reply; "but she couldn't help it. I was a-tellin' of her how you tried to maka cake one day." Ladies' Home JourHal. Trapped. The man was neither neatly nor well dressed. He was plainly a tramp, begging, and had just turned away from one passer-by when he saw a youn man walking briskly toward him. "Please, mister," said the tramp, "can you give us a dime to get something to eat with?" The young man stopped. "What's! the matter?" he asked. "Can't get work," said the other, glibly. "I haven't had a bite to eat since yesterday morning. Pawned all my clothes. Yepting these. Slept under a wharf for a week, and I don't know anybody in the whole city honest, I don't." The young man looked at the tramp's smooth face, over which a razor had evidently passed very recent"Who shaved you this morning?" he asked, and as the beggar faded away the young man grinned, and walked on down the street. Trapped. The perpetually clever man listened solemnly to the tramp's hard-luck story. "That's the same eld yarn you tcM me last week," he said, winking at his companion. "Maybe it is," admitted the weary one as he started on. "I'd forgotten having met you. 1 was in the penitentiary last week." Success Magazine. ;rently Over I i mated. Hewitt Half the world doesn't know how the other half lives. Jewitt I think you overestimate the number of people who mind their own business. Brooklyn Life. Many a girl passes for a beauty be cause her feet don't show.

N.ifnrnllr Dnlifal. Many happy marriages have been made on short acuaistavco, U3vertheL;s It is u-nvise to recommend very short courtships as a general rule. A writer In Tit-Bits rc-Ltec an instance

I certain English maid who had gone to ,-i.mcrica. Cne morning she appeared before her mistress and announced that she had named the day and would heroine a wife at the end cf tl:e week. "Are you going back heme then?" the lady asked. "Oh. no, ma'am; it's an American gentleman," replied the maid. "But," remonstrated her mistress, "you've only been here a fortnight." "That's no matter. He wants the wedding to be on Saturday." "Bui can't ycu get him to postpone the marriage just a little till I can get another maid?" "Well, ma'am, I'd like to oblige you. but, ye see. I don't feel well enough, acquainted to ask him to do that." Compound Snlpbtir Tab'etg Fop the IV,M,J. Skin Eruptions, r.ol's. etc. aid ami tried Snrlns Kcruedv. l!v rr:iil Ah Wi:Li.ut Diti'U Co.. li.i;iuYr. Ouio, Hard to Swallow. "Yes. my lad," the health crank was remarking, "people should be careful r.ot to eat much when they are going to take exercise. I once took a walk of fifty miles on nothing but a few soft boiled eggs." "Gee!" said the boy. "What lookin feet you must have had when you got there!" The lemlulne Iiibtlnct. "What on earth made your mother bring home that bundle cf leathers?" "I'm sure I don't know, dad, unless It was because she eaw it marked 'down.' "Baltimore American. "' ALLEN'S FÖÖT-EASE fhke f ntf Yoirr Shoes Allen' Foot-E. the KBtUeptie icHt-tpr lor Up tVet. It curpamfui. woiin, smart: rig, Drroa& (ot-t. and iurUvntlj t&ke u n.zig out of corns 5d bukn. If I be great. et reatlorl rfiMt-tivt-ry of tke re. Ao'a Km.l-t.iM r.ikntviit. tming or tew thoes fc e&av. K a errtajn rait (ir ingTowu g tuiun, s -S1 -inc. caliooa and tirrd, arlnnr f-t. fl'e breor;n.(Mrtl irEniajH. Tit V 1TKI.IIAV. Sol 'J emr" l'. 2 c :'t Snt by nnvii I 2c. in btan pa. lit by mail. .MOTU KU tJUAY'S HWKFT "lit a finch. OLKS tti ht reed;m tr nse Allen? FVrerih. tu kly Children. Soli bf I C-K-tase Tnl rcl:r l-'It I-T. AdvJre, ALLES S. OLMSI LI. La Kr, . T. üBTEon efliuiDa tl;atJ.I. Hill, the Great RtHroad MaffnStiT Ssys About its Wheat-Producing Pcwarp "The prentert reel cf tv' eoontry iüJUiei&uttpi in unoitier m-uera-lion or ivro will 14 Ui j roviaing ci xicme lor u pcoplo and rroduo'nir mßiciect for them. The Jaj of oar prominence M rrlirot exporting conn 17 nr." Bono. Canada ia to lie I he great T.heat country." 1 Tbl frr.t rollreefl mag. Bat it ir king cdrttntatie tt th kitt2ntu.it by extenlr railway lnil1-ln-to (Ve Ji-it fields ot, extern Camilla. , Upwards of 125 Million Dushcls ci Wheat wer h treated In 1009. Aver aw? or the tiire provinces ef Alberta. IvuKiiatehpwfin and M.nilol rill be cpwaruj ot zj üusiieis per acre. Tree homesteads of 1 GO ncre. flTlfl atllollilnv nnwmntlnn . lOOnrrcunt 3 per Here., a re to be had Ic tlie choicest diotrtcta. Sclioola convenient. eUmote exeeitrut. oll tU- erjr let, r.;ii.vn- rloA at hrtixl. triWtins lumber cheap, tuel cany to jret ci.l rear.ab:e :n price, valer eiWly irocuref: mixed tannine n tum. Write e to lt piiu-e for eeul-inent. iw-ttleTs' low rhiiwBT rrt.HL eerriiiin illua. trr.tod "Ij.tt l-st W et" (etit free pa application', apilo'herinformtioa. to bun't ot l&inucraUon. Ottawa, nutili nr tn thm riyw1nr Canadian Cor't üteet: W. H. Ungern. :h1 Hoof TrurMon Terminal UulfJlnf. Ind'anapolla. In L. au'l H. U. William. Room . Uw iSuihUag. Toledo. Ohio. (I'm addresa nearest you). Flcase say liere you fcaw tlila tivcrtisjtaoQt. tTort Wcme List Chauffeurs, Drivers and Repairmen Earn Elg Money $20to $50 per Weeli Uhe usual pay for trained men. Some earn at much more on tho side st-Uin? our Auto Supplies and Specialties. lo you want a chance? Write us now for outline ol our complete Cor. respondence Course in Automobile fcmtiaeerinc. Impairing- and Driring-. We can teach you by mail all about the care, running and repairing-ol automoViles. Yoa can fit yourself at home to Cake a position as chauffeur, driver or repairman. And you can MAKE MONEY WHILE LEARNING ty Ttitt rne In your spare time selling- our supplies on liberal commission, building up a perma-n-nt trade. Write us today now if you want to learn all about the automobile. To men h ill become our arent we seil this famous t5S course tor half price only f?10 down, balance in small monthly payments. Write today. ATLAS AUTO SUPPLY CO. 837 43rd Street CHICACO, ILL. The Army of Constipation I Crowing Smaller Every Day. CARTER'S LITTLE LIVER PILLS are ale tby i only ova reliet a . . - they permaaeady cars Csestxpaus. MJ. lions use them for " BatonsKU, Io;esti3i, Sek Heaiac!, Sallow Siis, CULL POL, SMALL DOSE, SMALL PKJC2 GeilQine wot W Slsnture W. L. DOUGLAS C3.O0,S3.CO,S4.C0ü.S5.00 x SHOES Betas' Shoes f2.vo a (2.60 W 1j. Jou;rlas siKH's f.re worn ij more men th an any other make, shoe 4 are the owert prjco. 1 ii. i! is v -..UHlilerel. i 11 1 M t. tri.r 1 1 W.L.!).ni ;!.i 81.00 -M!:.!. inM!e. t ;ti:t fl V e:tr. oilier tmikes T-V ' -- --iiu.p- Luve W. ! Tt'.i tl-jh tx1 prt.e St ; I n " I t.ii i.i- UMfMH. Tu A o tl.l if ur. ,s . .ii I.iW (t W.fc i; tlify are ti"l Kiie i'i fiir i.mtii nie !r Mii ir ir (UtMl..,;, .':vi..;r ltit how In -rdrt It iu.-ii!. suift or-l-iL-J Inen from f.-tiry drliweuM to ile wt-nr-r a.l f irngi't .i. ;.aiX U . 1 Duujclas. Urut-Liua, il:. FOR TO-3AV. Icllclously ITlavored LLYCON Tli Pcrlcct Jelly Ocs-scrt. . FrjTF? BEAUTIFUL ALUMCXL1I Thenfiprls txV.y explained oa lOe. Pack J I. th cMvuUr in erery afe. &!! lj 4u CrtCcTS. VVAHTFn-Every,KX,y sufTcrin? fnro Tiles 1 1 Sil I LU or any form of liectal Ailaients, to write Ti.e for Freu Trial of ray I'o&itira. I' In less l'ile Cure. Ö. U. TAK.NKY, Auburn, In4.

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