Plymouth Tribune, Volume 9, Number 25, Plymouth, Marshall County, 24 March 1910 — Page 6

THE EASTER BONNET B!T. fco, the Easter tonnet. With a lot of thins upon it New an! bright ; And tl- avenue parade Of the ma Ilms all arrayed l'or the fciht. For sweet the Easter faces That brighten up the p!aces Where thpy go: With their nodding and thMr sini.j-.. And our mannish hearts beguiling As the know. S let" hanz the bill for dollars That are tilT enoush for collars Ye.i. and high And pray for ilccent reather For the witching maiden's feather. So say I. For I love one Easter bonnet. With a lot of things upon it Driht and say. For the face thafs just below it, Aud 1 carp not if you know it KiS'at away.

AN EASTER REVELATION !

She was the pretty soprano at the Church ca the Hill. lie was the young divinity student who supplied the pulpit in the absence of Dr. Raymond. Towering six feet from the ground, with a physique to match his seventy-two inches, Theodore Small had been the pride of his college on the football team. Added to this he possessed a face that merited the kindly badinage of his friends in calling him "Apollo." By nature frank, cordial and sincere, with talents that won admiration wherever lie was known, the young theologue's future seemed full of promise. His fellow-students often rallied him oa his power over the fair sex, declaring he had but to smile to win the heart of every woman, old or young. But Theodore Small, in spite of his twenty -five year3 and his association with many women, had never felt hi3 pulse quicken at the sight of one more than another. Many eyes of blue and black and brown were wont to brighten whenever Theodore drew near. But it was a one-sided devotion. Courteous and chivalrous toward all women he had the unconscious power of making each one feel a3 if it were toward herself alone that these kindly attentions were shown. But the first Sunday morning that he supplied the pulpit at the Church oa the Hill, Theodore wa3 conscious of a new .pleasurable sensation aa he walked slowly up the aisle of the almost empty church. The mellow light from the richly colored windows shone in a golden ray across the choir gallery, where the singer3 were rehearsing the hymns for the morning service. The sunbeam ended where a young girl stood a girl with large blue eyes and a wealth of bair that shone like gold in the sunshine. The church was echoing with the last strains of the song, and Theodore felt an added Interest in hi3 duty as his eye3 fell on the fair soprano. The deacon who accompanied him Introduced him to the little group. Hilda Parker rra3 the last to receive the courtly bow from the morning's preachtr. A few minutes later and the auditorium had begun to fill.' The sermon was one of the young student's best and at the close, as he descended from the pulpit and mingled with the people, he heard many commendatory words. "When at la3t the postlude ceased and the Sunday school service began, he felt a strong sense of anticipation as he took his place before Dr. Raymond's class several pews full of bright-faced young men and women. It wa3 a difficult task to take the pastor's place, for Dr.' Raymond was the Idol of hl3 people, and especially were, these young people wont to criticise any supply. It wa3 Hilda Parker's little brother Phil who had remarked in a most discouraged tone one time, "Oh, dear, I don't like there specimens they send us from the Seminary." But Theodore Small was happily unconscious of thi3 feeling. He was content that Hilda Parker sat demurely before him. butily canning her Bible and Blakeslee lesson book. The class was an interesting one and Theodore enjoyed the half hour better than he dared confess to himself. Five Sundays ere January did he supply the pulpit and in that incredibly short time he had become remarkably well acquainted with his parishloners, especially the members of Dr. Raymond's class and Hilda Parker. Then Dr. Raymond's health broke down, and he was forced to take a much needed rest. Theodore was unanimously asked to fill the pulpit during the pastor's absence. It Is needless to say that he accepted. Hilda's mother dear woman that he was was blind to any earthly cause of her daughter's new Interest In all religious matters. She herself, an earnest worker In the church and the president of the Women's Helping League, thought only of Hilda's spiritual awakening. Theodore found it his duty to call frequently on hl3 people. Mr. Parker, as one of the deacons of the church, and the young minister, often con ferred together. Theodore sought his counsel in many pastoral duties, explaining that he wished the work to go on during Dr. Raymond's absence as nearly like his methods as possible. Somehow Theodore seemed to call on evenings when Hilda wa3 at home. Possibly the deacon wa3 more astute than his wife, for his eyes twinkled one night when he detected a disappointed look on the young minister's face whec he informed him that the ladies weie both out. Easter was the last Sunday before Dr. Raymond's return. Theodore's life at the Church on the Hill was nearly oer. Next mmth he would graduate from the Seminary and go where duty called. He noticed a sad little droop in Hilda's mouth as she extend ed her hand in welcome before the morning service', and he duly wondered at himself that he did not feel sorrj Tor her. -He had never been in love before, you know. Hilda Parker never s.-ng better thar. she. did that Easter morning and as her sweet soprano voice echoed through the flower-laden air of ihchurch in the strains of "Messiah" like a beautiful revelation cami th knowledge to Theodore Small that hf loved Hilda Parker xth all 11: e strength of his manhoci. That evening after ne usual Easter concert, he watched Hilda closely lest she escape him, for he felt that he must see her alone ere he slept. But Hilda wa3 an unusually long time gathering up her music, and the church was nearly deserted when Theodore slowly mounted the steps into the .choir loft. "Are you reauy to go. Miss Parker?" he queried. As they emerged from the brightly lighted church into the darkness outside hi3 heart was full of the words he longed to utter. He could not see

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With cr0 gold and cHnison ;Jfl They brouSht the dead King thither, Bowed down itsliead in sorrow- : i'J' Th white rave cerements lay. ' JJmM Next day they sought to find them; jtlllSkC ffüMA Lo! rising where they fell, '$MmäfäC Allth ILM!) Like the white hand of an an-!. feil g W.fA vrir vMi Waved there-a lily's beU- MnlMÄ W M )Mjßm So pure, so white, and spotless M!!!! WZm Tiat "e had r,sen there' IIäMPI MWJpK Born of His white robes fallen. jjßäfci 1 IW I i ifityfJ Like white leaves folded up. Wt( WiiStSt' miS And so amid the blossoms (11 KCKmVit VwrfiTL f the rich man's fragrant bowers rWN I M ffMim Was born the Easter lily- VV sY if'f'Ü'i The angel of the flowers. IäJ k

Hilda's face, but he felt the trimly gloved hand on his arm tremble. "The Easter season is the symbol of all new life," he began. "From that first glad Easter morning with its wonderful promise through all the centuries since it ha3 been a time of awakening and hope. Dearest, a3 the earth puts on her new robe3 of Spring, may It not be the time of the plighting of our love yours and mine with its hope for a new life together through many happy years to come?" That Theodore's Easter Revelation came true is evident from the fact that two months later found them blissfully speeding westward on their wedding journey. KffK Grab. Any number of pleasant games for a children's party can be played with the little candy eggs which are sold everywhere at Eastertime. As the eggs themselves make a good prize after the frolic is over, I would suggest buying thes at a first-class candy store where the sweets will be sure to be pure and not harmful. First of all, have the children guess how many eggs are contained in the large papier mache box shaped' like an egg. Chalk up each child's guess on the blackboard opposite his or her name. Give a pretty basket holding a handful of the eggs to the girl or boy who guesges the number most correctly. For another round pour the rest of the egg3 in a bowl and let each child in turn approach the table. Using the left hand he or she must then try to scoop up as many eggs as possible on the back of the palm. Each person's "catch" is written down as before and the candy eggs awarded as prizes. April Joke. O This rabbit isn't fooled by the ton-stuffed candy because he is a ton rabbit cot-cot-Yrettr Eler t'aatoui. "In my country," says a Mexican matron, "Easter i3 the season when one sends flowers to every friend and neighbor and to all the strangers within the gates. A guest at a hotel may find his or her roo.ni submerged in flowers on Easter morning. It is our way of vashing them welcome and an swer3 to the 'Merry Christmas' which it is so delightful to hear in Northern countries. We are also beginning to send Easter eggs to children, but this is the result of following the customs of the United States and Europe. Some of the Mexican natives resent any Intrusion on making Easter anything out what we most prize, the feast of flowers."

An

EASTER PRESENTS. Appropriate- Token, Fanciful, Costly and Olherwlne. In the way of gifts Easter is fast becoming a miniature edition of Christmas. Flowers and bonbons in beautiful holders represent the most popular presents, and city florists and confectioners reap an immense harvest from this custc.ni of Eastertide. Any fresh growing thing, from a pot of hyacinths to a stately Easter lily or handsome blooming shrub, may be given and accepted as an appropriate present, say. the Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph. t is in bonbon holders, however, to a great extent that the typical Easter gift is most apt to be found, and very costly they are despite the airy unsubstantiality of same of them. The display in the shops is bewildering. Great straw tggs are made of colored braids Interwoven with gilt and have large straw rings ready for hanging them. When one of these wicker eggs parts in the middle, the interior is seen lined with peach blow satin, so that It may act conveniently a3 a workbasket when its mission as a candy holder is over. Eggs of various colors, covered with satin and exquisitely hand painted, open to reveal sweets within. Some are lined and wadded and answer for ring or cuff button cases. Dainty bonbon cases are made of fine porcelain, decked off with flowers of various hues. Some choice china bonbonnieres have on the closely fitting covers little scenes from farm life, thj hen and her progeny having prominent place in each. Flower trimmed fancy baskets In all sorts of odd shapes and laden with sweets are favorite Easter reminders. Opera bags and workboxes and heart shaped boxes decorated with flowers typical of the season are all In the Easter swim. Jewelers' small wares come In for a large amount of attention, and not only prayer books, crosses, rosaries, etc., for the devout, but silver trifles, such as glove? hooks, envelope openers, pin trays, bonbonnieres, purses, cigarette cases, etc., for the more worldly are In requisition. Those who manufacture the gifts which they present at Easter are apt to restrict themselves to small and dainty trifles, such as perfumed sachets of various kinds, decorated boxes for ribbons, handkerchiefs, gloves, etc.; bookmarks, photograph frames, opera and waist bags, and other personal knlckknacks. One of the many exquisitely bound little books which publishers bring out for the season is a graceful gift, provided one understands well the tastes of the recipient. Aurient Orlttln. The custom of represent kg Easter by eggs and rabbits is derived from an old German story still told to the children of the Fathe-.land. It runs as follows: There was once an old hen which, while sitting on a large brood of prospective chicks, was killed by a wicked

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old fox. A good mother-rabbit seeing the predicament of the chicks ready to break their shells, sat on the eggs and hatched a fine brood Just at Easter time and took care of the little things ever after. KOW EASTER IS FIXED. It Mut He Plrt Sunday After Fourteenth Day of Calendar Moon. Whether Easter falls In chilly March or sunny April is a question of importance to every holiday maker. The earliest day on which Easter can fall is March 22, says the London Express. Only once in the last centurj', and not once in this century, was this early date Easter day. Twice in the nineteenth century it fell on 'March 23 and this will be the date only once in the present century In the year 1913. The latest possible Easter day Is April 2.". This was the date once In the last century and will be once in the present in 1943. Five weeks separate these extremes, so that the question of date involves about two hours of daylight and a considerable difference In temperature. Most Easters fortunately will happen In April. During the next twenty years there will be sixteen April Easters and only four in March. Originally the Christian Easter was the same day as the Jewish feast of the Passover, but in early Christian times a change was made. The Passover is the 14th day of the Paschal moon and Easter was fixed as the first Sunday after the 14th day. The fixing of the day Is a complicated and difficult process. It must follow the vernal equinox, and so the solar year has to be taken Into account. It must follow the fourteenth day of the Paschal moon, and consequently the lunar month has to be considered, and with these conditions the days of the veek have to be reconciled, as Easter day must be a Sunday. The rule observed 13 that Easter shall be the first Sunday following the fourteenth day of the calendar moon, which happens on or after March 21. This calendar moon 13 not the real moon of the heavens, but an Imaginary moon, created for ecclesiastical purposes. Nor is March 21 always the date of the vernal equinox. It Is usually the 20th and sometimes the 19th. The date of Easter 13 therefore quite artificial. On the date of Easter most of the 1,'reat church festivals depend. The beginning of Lent, Ash Wednesday, Is determined by the date of the end, Easter Sunday, and so is Whitsunday, the seventh Sunday after Easter day. . An Faster Significance. This is one of the Easter significances of death, that, through It, God is transferring our affections, our longings, our hopes, our plans, from earth to heaven from the tenting-place to the dwelling place, from the dark valley of preparation to the shining lights of eternal realizat on. He weans us" over, as it were, from earth to aeaven, by taking our loved ones to himself, and leading after them our hearts' desires and our sanctified imaginations and hopes. All the beauties and gl rie ef the apocalyptic vision mint make no appeal to us, satlsfled as w are with this earth where our lov?i ones dwell, if God did -not endear to us the city which is to 1) our eternal home by calling j-'omc of ou,- chrrished ones to dwell there. Then Im.ru diately our longings to po out lo it, ve dream of it, we live so as to be mo -e fit for it. An Fare It ace. An OS i're which most players will vote equally good fun Is played with egg slulls from which the contents hav been blown. Each boy or girl receive a paper fan with which the c.: shell is wafted alons the course in the direction of the goal. Great fun will result if this course ia carefully prepared with obstacles and pitfalls to add to the excitement.

At FntertJu II knolt In church: so reveivnt Iiis nttltu.lt- of praver That r. U hi heart and soul Fee tried On J eaveii and only there. Yet not above the Marry sky Was the divinity lie worshiped; not afar, but uljhj Twa pews la front aat sht.

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Our Tariff in Canada. It is said that Mr. Taft is planning to send our Tariff Board to Ottawa to endeavor to arrange an adjustment which will let Canada in on our minimum scale of duties when the time comes, at midnight on March 31. for the drawing of the line against the countries which neglect or refuse to make peace with us at their euslom houses. Part of the board Is already in Ottawa. Canada and France are the only countries of any importance which are still outside the tariff pale. If they persist until the end of this month in unduly discriminating against us in their tariffs the maximum scale of the Payne act will be applied to the dutiable imports from them at our custom houses, which will be an advance of 23 per cent above the normal line. Mr. Taft has much faith in the intelligence and tact of the Tariff Board. And he ha3 reason for this confidence. Although the board is young, having been appointed only three or four months ago, it has done excellent work in the way of getting adjustments with the countries which have a high range of tariff duties. A particularly notable triumph was won by it when it brought the tariff settlement with Germany. Apparently the President believes it will be able to do equally effective work in the negotiations with Canada. A victory In Ottawa, if it be won will probably have an effect on France. Our divergence with Austria was only slight, and was recently harmonized. But the contest 'with France is far more difficult. She endeavored to form a triple alliance against lis, composed of herself. Germany and Canada. If the two lastnamed countries could be held out of the American Zollverein France might be able to get the concessions from us which she asks. Rut she lost her German supporter early in the game, and if Canada also comes into the tariff league with us France will be obliged to capitulate. When our Tariff Board goes on its pilgrimage to Ottawa the proceedings will be watched with just as much interest in Paris as they will in Washington. St. Louis Globe-Democrat. ' AY lint Knox C,nined. There is a tendency to condemn the secretary of state because Russia and Japan declined so heatedly, to agree with the proposal to have the powers guarantee the neutrality of the Manchurian railroads. We suspect that the administration does not feci in the least rebuffed. It obtained that which it desired a showing of hands. Japan plays the old game of diplomacy. This is to conceal intention and policies in a fog of suavity and fabrication. Nippon has insisted many times that it had no territorial ambition in Manchuria. The doer was to be kept open. The railroads were no more than commercial enterprises. While Japanese farmers were settling in the country and Japanese merchants were founding branch houses and agencies, they did so entirely upon their own risk and with no more encouragement from the government than would be given by any nation to these who increase her trade. The Knox note caused a display of the true policy. Japan is trying to get as much in Manchuria as she can by any means, whether Chinese rights, or treaty pledges give countenance or not. Russian ambition i3 disclosed. The hope of reconquering the territory lost has not been given up. St. Petersburg still beholds the necessity for an jpen water harbor in eastern Asia in order that Siberia may attain the fullest possible development. The Knox note was worth more than the paper it was written upon. It was valuable as showing Americans what a little distance they may go with investments in eastern China without causing trouble with Japan. And this, in these days of delicate treading in our relations with Tokio, ought to count for a good deal. Exchange. Xothlnff to Do With It. We now have some v of the Demo cratic papers coming out fairly and squarely for free trade. That is what they have always had In view when they shouted for a "tariff for revenue only" and for "tariff revision." They have held that "tariff revision" would not be so in fact unless it tended toward ultimate free trade. That is all there is in the shriek3 of the Democratic economists for "tariff revision." Just at this time there is stress laid upon the alleged fact that the ta-riff is responsible for the high prio.e of meat stuffs. As a fact, the revision of the tariff schedules last spring brought about a reduction in the meat duties of from U cent to 1 cent a pound on certain products. The tariff schedules were reduced in many respects last spring, but prices have gone up. This applies to bibles as well as to meats, and it is shown that in neither case is the tariff to be charged with the increase. There may be a shortage in food animals, but there is no shortage in inks, paper, types and presses. It is found that the present tariff schedules on the materials that go into the printing and binding of bibles are lower than they have been since 1SS3; yet one bible publishing firm reports that.it is forced to 'increase the price of bibles 20 per centum. High prices have beoeme a habit, and In most cases without any warrant in fact. The tariff has nothing to do with the situation. Trenton "State Gazette." Co)otc und .luck Htiltliit. The fci-eed of the jack rabbit has always been proverbial among western men, like the speed of the coyote. In a .straightaway race it is claimed that the jack rabbit can distance the coyote, but he usually falls a victim to the coyote's superior intelligence. The favorite coyote method lor catching jack rabbits is for one of the animals to start a, jack rabbit on the run, while the othe; coyote sits down, patiently awaiting the arrival of his dinner. The jack rabbit when he has a free rane will run in circles, and the coyote's cleverly count on this habit. Before long the rabbit will arrive at the place from which he started and there coyote No. 2, fresh and ready for a short sprint, will swoop down upon him and then divide the meal with the coyote that lias done the actual chasing. New York Press. There is a clearing house for packages lost on the British railways, and about one thousand packages a day are handled.

TAFT 'S FIRST YEAR.

The first yoar of President Taft's administration lias undoubtedly been, disappointing to his friends, to the country, speaking broadly, and most of all. probably to the President him- I self. A very large part of the people ! are not altogether satisfied themselves with the way things have gone at Washington, and yet they are well aware that the head of the national government has been unjustly condemned and unfairly criticised. Comparatively few intelligent and wellinformed Americans who seek to judgo the President with entire candor and give him ful credit are altogether clear I In their present views of his record. They find some difficulty in defining their exact feeling tcward the administration. It is not so hard to state their opinion of Mr. Taft himself. On this latter point the country still stands, in the main, where it did when he was elected. It believes in the honesty and goodness of heart of Taft, the man. It is sure of the high aims and beneficent plans of Taft, the President. It has not lost the old faith in him as a citizen, a. judge, a patriot. Actions require time to speak louder than words; and one year is not long enough to permit the carrying through of definite results of many features of a new President's program. Congress drags and hesitates. Often it balks, and the country does not al ways and at once discriminate between the White House and the capitol. But underlying all of these surface conditions there 13 solid foundation for the ground which the President's supporters take that he has done well for his country, not ill; that he has prospered, not suffered, since he took the solemn oath which binds him to i its service; that his administration is doing work of lasting value which will compare favorably with the rec- j ord of achievement standing to the ! credit of any other president's first year, and that In time the nation must recognize and appreciate these facts and do him justice.' For beyond ,doubt the country has gained greatly since the Taft term began. It has felt secure, with good reason, against all large disasters aud troubles which could be attributed in any way to the national government. In. time the record of good work done and tangible results gained will wholly offset the sense of disappointment which is widely prevalent. Deeds will -be more convincing than words. The motives behind many of the slanderous and false attacks upon the President and his administration will become clear to the country. Veiled hatred and cowardly partisanship will not be able to fight under cover of false pretenses of lofty patriotism. The truth" will prevail and the majority of the American people will understand that most of the so-called independent censors that have con-! demned Mr. Taft and his party, in sweeping and bitter terms, are disguised partisans, masked political enemies and other warped and hostile seekers after self-interest. The Taft administration will gain as It goes on. It Is sure to wear well because its basic forces and purposes are göod and sound. Harmful and misleading advisers will lose their power for evil. The country will feel Increasing faith in the wisdom and thorough uprightness of its chosen head. Toledo Blade. lllfflit and Wrong Were There. The demand for a revision of the poem, "Barbara Freitchie," made on the ground that "a shade of sadness, a blush of shame," did not overspread the features of the Southern leader, since he had nothing to be ashamed of, is, no doubt, a logical outcome of the sentimentality of the time, which wants to banish all thoughts of the right or wrong of the War of the Rebellion. The humorist who with mild satire dubbed that war "the late unpleasantness," could have had no idea that his sarcasm would one day come to be the actual estimate of the struggle. But we are dangerously near his definition. Such ideas, if pushed too far, are likely to produce a reaction. There was a right and wrong of the Rebellion. If the North is so far willing to gloss over the actual facts as to say that, after all, the South believed it was right, and let it go at that, there is no harm done. But when It comes to being betrayed into a habit of mind which admits that the right and wrong were inextricably mixed, and that one side prevailed only by the force and weight of numbers, pos sibly we shall have to rewrite the history of the war, and find that after all I Hie .OHIl Wit3 UlvJtCU. OUlUClUlUg more than a frolicsome wish to give the South a beating. Minneapolis Journal. A l'oatal Cue In 1'olnt. The postoffice department has beeu stirred to reduce or wipe out its deficit, but thus far it has thought of nothing but to make the service dearer. Many people think it could save money doing business on business principles and thus spare the people higher rates. Here is a case in point: When the Ead3 bridge was built, Congress agreed to pay $50,000 a year to have the mails carried across it into St. Louis. It was the only bridge then. Ia'-er the Merchants' bridge was built, largely to let the public out from in under the monopoly of .the Eads bridge. But did it? Not so far as the mails are concerned. The postoffice department continued to pay the Eads bridge $50,000 a year for carrying the mails, and also paid $20,000 a year to the Merchants' bridge. The committee on post offices Is attempting to have this Eads bridge law repealed. If it succeeds, the government will continue to pay $20,000 to the Merchants' bridge, but will pay the other bridge company only ooo a year. The net result.would be $34,000 instead of $70,00o Tor. carrying the mails into St. Louis. The question is how many other snaps like this has the postcffiVe department to deal with, ami wouldn't congress and the department better deal with them before raising postal rates? St. Louis Globe-Democrat. (it'llintf Mnrt. "Yes, the executive committee appointed to draft resolutions encouraging the public to practice the strictest care and economy in food purchasing met at the Hotel Gbldcnrod and organized." "At the Goldenrod?" " Yes. they lunched there at $7 a plate!"' Cleveland Plain Dealer. The Fnllent Seheme. Patient It'3 up to you to cure me mighty quick. Doctor Yes but why? Patient The longer it takes me to get well the longer it will take me to pay my bill Cleveland Leader.

Stella Two Is company and three is J3ella Divorce. The Sun. Teacher How many make a million, Johnny? Johnny Not many. "Ever Lil appendicitis?" "No. There ain't aever been a time when I could afford it." Detroit Free Press. Barber Have anything on your faca when I get through, sir? Victim Some skin and a nose, I hope. Boston Transcript. George Do you think that I'm good enough for you, darling? DarlingNo, George; but you're too good for any other girl. "The chicken stew has two prices in the bill of fare. How is that, waiter?" "With chicken In It, it is 30 cents, without it, 10." Mother (looking over her boy's shoulder) Your spelling is perfectly terrible. Little Son This ain't a spellin lesson. It's a composition. Politician Congratulations, Sarah; I've been elected. Sarah (with delight) Honestly? Politician What difference doe3 that make? St. Louis Times. The Father Did mamma punish you to-day, Tommie? The Boy Yes, sir. "What did she do?" "Made me stay in the house .while she was taking her singing lesson!" "They are going to lock Jones up for the good of the community." "What's he done?" "He's talking of setting Browning's poema to Rlcaard Strauss' music." Cleveland Leader. The Man No, I don't suppose that I shall ever marry. I'm too shy, don't you know, and "faint heart ne'er won fair lad'." The Girl (helping hiai on) But I'm not fair; I'm dark. "Why," asked a Missouri newspaper, "does our State stand at the head in raising mules?" "Because," said an Iowa paper, "that is the only safe place to stand." Jack O'Lantern. Teacher If you wear one pair of shoes three months, how long will two pairs last? Jimmle A year. Teacher Oh, no; how do you get that? Jimmle I don't wear any in the summer. "Yes, I do .most of my work at night now." "What's the reason?" "Why, I'm a Wileyite and cook my food four iiours, and being a Fletcherite It takea me three hours to eat." Cl?velanl Plain Dealer. Wlfey Do you think there Is a u.an that could conscientiously say to his wife, "You are the only woman I ever loved?" Hubby Only one that I can think of. "Who? You, dearest?" "Oh, no, Adam." Spare Moments. A woman went to a bank. She noticed that there was a new face behind the window. "Has the ' cashier gone away to take a rest?" she onquired.' "No," replied the new man; "he has gone away to avoid it." "How do you extract wocnen's teeth without their screaming? You don't give gas." 4,But my office Is opposlto a . millinery display. When the women get absorbed In looking at the hats they're oblivious to pain." Kansas City Times. 'Young Lady (on first vIsItto Western ranch) For what purpose do you use that coil of line on your, saddle? Cowpuncher That line, as you call It, lady. we use for catching cattle and horses. . Young Lady I dare say. Now, may I ask what do you use for bait The new housemaid had just opened the door In response to Wlgglesbys ring. "Is Miss Darborough in?" asked Wlgglesby. "Yes, sorr, she's In sorr, but she's engaged," said tte maid. "Yes, I know," smiled Wlgglesby. "I'm what she's engaged to." Harper's Weekly. "Then you don't think I practice what I preach, eh?" queried the minister in talking with one of the deacons. "No. sir. I don't," replied the deacon. "You've, been preachln' on the subject of resignation for two years an ye haven't resigned yet." Ladles' Home Journal. Tubb Old boy, I want to congratulate you on your speech at the banquet lest night. O'Sudds (after waiting a moment) I know you do, pard, and you're awfully sorry you can't do It truthfully. I appreciate the effort. Just the same. Nasty weather, Isn't .it? Chicago Tribune. Mrs. A. I do love lobster, but I never have them at home, because 't seems so inhuman to kill them by putting them In a kettle of boiling water. Mrs. B. Gracious! I never kill them that way. It would be too horrible; I always put them on iu cold water and let them come to a boIL "I regret very much that we cannot use your story," said the magazine editor, handing back the manuscript. "It's astonishing how much really good literature we are compelled to decline." "It's more astonishing, though," said the disgruntled author of the story, "that you never let any of it get Into your magazine." Chicago Tribune. Little Nelly told little Anita what she termed a "little fib." Anita A fib is the same as a story, and a Btory is the same as a lie. Nelly No, it's not. Anita Yes, it is, because oiy father said so, and my father i3 a professor at the university. Nelly I don't care if he is. My father Is a real estate man, and he knows more about lying than your father. Itently to Bargain. .Suitor (to her father) Sir, I love the very ground your daughter treads on. Father (grimly) Well, young man, you ain't the first party that's had an attachment for it. Howsomever, If you love It well enough to come and help pay up the mortgage on it you can marry Sarah. Exchange. ltutlier I'a ratio ileal. "One thing always puzzled me about a parliamentary proceeding." "What is that?" "How a man can be so acrobatic as to be the chairman of a standing committee." Baltimore American. Nnfr I'tiilcd to Do He You should always speak well of your neighbor, you know. She I always do. though I can assure you this is the meanest woman !n creation. Boston Transcript. Its nlurr, "The ease of this time I am having is like taking candy from a baby.", "Then you are having a howling time." Baltimore American. Many a man has kicked himself out, of a gool job.

Ä Minister's Indigestion

Iter. Fletcher of Tennessee Suggest! a Itemed y Bad on Personal El perlence Yon Can Get It Free. There Is nothing that is so much souffht alter as a remedy for stomach trouble, and hence you will be Interested to kno how the Rev. A. J. Fletcher, of Rutherforil. Tenn whout picture we present herewith, cured his Indigestion. To use his own words, he 2ays, in part: "I received the sample bottle of Dr. Caldweil'3 S jr r u p Pepsin that I asked you to send me, and I m.de no mistake in ordering lt. I have hsen troubled with dyspepsia and indicestion tnnr or less ror about sixty nev a t rietrher years, and have talc- J' F,etcher en many remedies, but Dr. Caldwell'a iyrup Pepsin has done me more rood than anything else. I am 79." Dr. Caldwell's Syrup. Pepsin has been sold in drup stores for twenty years. The price is only 60 cents or 1 a bottle. It is especially adapted to the uses of babies, children, worren and old folks. Its purity Is vouched to the Government, and results from its use are ruaranteed. If you have never tried it send name and address for a free trial bottle, which will be cheerfully sent to your home prepaid. If there is any medical advice that you want, or anything about your condition that you don't understand, write the doctor. Address your letter. Dr. W. B. Caldwell. 202 Caldwell Dldg.. Montlcello. IIL Equal to the tinergeacy. "No. Gerald." she said, shaking her ovely head; "I positively will not mary you before next June." "But your father and mo.her both." irged the j-oung man, "think "Don't quoe papa and mamma; they are thinking only of their plans for the summer. If you change my determination, Gerald, you will have to bring more pressure to bear than that." Gerald, being a resourceful young man, promptly brought the pressure to bear. Chicago Tribune. HAVE YOU TRIED THIS? Simple Prescription Said ta Work Wonders for Ilhenmatlsra. This has been well known ' to the best doctors for years and is nowgiven to the public. "Get one ounce of syrup of Sarsaparllla compound and one ounce Toris compound. Thea get half a pint of good whiskey and put the other two ingredients into it. Take a tablespoonful of this mixture before ez;h meal and at bed time. Shake the bottle before using." Good effects are felt the first day. Many of the worst cases here have been cured by this. Any druggist t has these ingredients on hand or will quickl get them from his wholesale house. Ills Felicitations! "Maudie." said Al?y. "I told, Bivina of our engagement the other day." "What did he say?" "Weil, you Just ought to have heard him." . "Did he congratulate you?" "Did he congratulate me? Well, I should simper!" "AVhat did he say?"' "O. you oughtn't to ask me that." "Yes, but I want to know." "Well, he er said. you lucky dog! " Free to Oar Reader. Write Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago for 48-page illustrated Eye Book Free. Write all about Your Eye Trouble and they, will advise as to the Proper Application of the Murine Eye Remedies in Your Special Case. Tour Druggist will tell you that Murine Relieves tore Eyes. Strengthens Weak Eyes. Dot sat Smart, Soothes Eye Pain, and sells for 50c. Try It in Your Eyes and in Baby's Eyes for Scaly Eyelids and Granulation. A Mean Insinuation. Young wife Yes. dearest, I'm going to favor you at dinner to-night with a new cake that I invented all by myself. . Young husband (gloomily) Say, I guess this will be a good night for me to bring Jim Taggart home to dinner. I don't like Jim. Cleveland Plain Dealer. DR. HÄRTEL') FEMALE PILLS. Seventeen Years the Standard. Prescribed and recommended for women's ailments a scientifically prepared remedy of proven worth. The result from their use is quick and permanent. For sale at all drug stores. "o Specifying' Anybody. . Td like to have you meet Mr. Lci.scome. He's the vice president of our literary society." "Why, is It any particular. honor to be a vice president? I thought " "Not of the kind you are thinking about, perhaps, but It's some distinction to be a vice president of our literary society, let me tell you." Chicago Tribune. PILES CURED IX 6 TO 14 DATS. PAZO OINTMENT is guaranteed to cure any case of Itching. Blind. Bleeding or l'rotrudiaf Piles in e to 14 aaxs or moner refunded. Sue. Origin of tke Saylag. She was an enormous young woman. "Have you anybody here," she asked, "as tall as I am?" "Yes, I guess eo," answered the proprietor of the dime museum. "Well, I'm from Missouri." rejoined F.lla Ewlng, the giantess; "you'll have to show me." So they put her Inside anj showed her, along with the other freaks. Chicago Tribune. Mrs. Wl.islow's Soothing Syrnn for Children teething; softens the gums, reduces Inflammation, allays pain, cures wind colic. 25 cents a bottle. An Indaceaaent. Lady I want to put in this advertisement for a cook. It will go In three lines, won't It? Clerk (after counting) No, madam. We'll have to charge you for four lines, but you can put In four more words if you wlsli. Lady (suddenly Inspired) Say "Policeman stationed opposite corner!" Answers. PERRT DAVIS PAINKILLER vbra tboroiurblr rubbed In n Uev- Mrins and sprain in Joint or musrl from in caaw. Ail 4ruggll, St. i6, jOc ixrk. Large lottlek the cLeapecb Ills Little Scheme. "Great Caesar, old man!" exclaimed the gunner as he opened the door and found his friend's house brilliantly illu minated at noonday. "What does tbii mean? Why are all these blankets over the windows, and why Is the gal burning in the daytime?" "Sh!" whispered Guyer, cautiously. "It's a scheme of mine." "What kind of a scheme?" "Why, my wife is on a visit to her mother, and I tell her I remain home every night and read. I've got to get rid of some gas somehow so it will go on the bill at the end of the month." Atlanta Constitution.