Plymouth Tribune, Volume 9, Number 4, Plymouth, Marshall County, 28 October 1909 — Page 3

Ts. a

f .WS. JLO V 7r CA MB H OJY A Xolhor cZ "In Grass Country," A Dniester's Heart. II "A Sister's Sin," "Jack's Secret," Etc, Etc.

CHAPTER IL The harvest moon stood very hlcn tn the sapphire heavens. The river ralley was flooded with light, the meadows were bathed in sliver; the willows alon: the water's edge causht the pale gleams upon their rustling branches, whilst far away, the lowwooded hills on either side stood out icainst the star-flecked sky almost as alstinctly and clear as though It had been day instead of night. "It is lovely!" murmured Irene below her breath. "Are you not glad you came?" whispered Carroll back. They eat side by side upon the low, oft cushions, in the stern of the punt. Carroll had moored her securely to n overhanging willow that flung flappled shadows from Its fluttering boughs across the tumbling waters. Irene was wrapped in a warm dark cloak. The moonlight shcne full In her fair, sweet face, and danced in her eyes. She was a little bit frightened of what she had done, but she was very happy all the same. "Do you know why I have brought rou out here to-nlht?" continued the young man. "Last night, when I was here by myself, it was quite as beautiful as now. The moon was as clear, and the stars were as bright, the water shone and glittered as it danced over the weir, but I felt that there was something wanting to me some one whose eyes should look with mine at the lovely night, without whom It was all dull and cold and meaningless to me. I knew well enough what I wanted. Irene, and I said to myself. "To-morrow I will bring her here, and here, under the moculight and stars, I will tell her that I love her that my life is empty and Imperfect without her that I want her love, and her heart, and her sweet self for my own." Her face drooped and fell. He drew her. gently Into his arms, she did not resist him; her head sank down upon his breast, and he clasped her to his heart in a long and silent embrace. Irene surrendered herself freely to the new-found joy of his caresses caresses that wore as reverent as they were tender. She was a proud girl proud and shy yet once she had confessed him lord of her heart, she was a true woman, in that she gave heYself up entirely and wholly to him she lovol he was her king and her master, and she was proud as well as happy to be his chosen love. Presently, as was natural, and alas! as It must always happen, these two happy lovers came down to earth, and from transfigured spirits of bliss they became once more a prosaio couple of young people, whose future had row to be contemplated rationally and practically. "Irene, what will your mother say to me? I suppose I have done very wrong In speaking to you? I suppose it. would have been the right thing to net her consent first. You see you have known me such a little while, but then, my darling, I was so anxious to make you love me for myself and nothing else. You do. don't you. Irene?" "Why. ye. of course, you silly boy. What else should I love you for?" he laughed back softly. "Supposing I were a pauper and hadn't a penny In the world and lived by begging my way along the roads, would you love me all the same, Irene? Would you come and share my mud hovel?" "Of course I should. I dare say you are very poor. I really never thought about It But I shan't mind that a bit, I am not used tj Xfiing anything else, you know. And T know a lot about housekeeping and cooking. I can make my own dresses, and mend all your clothes for you, and be ts economical as possible. Oh! I shall love to do It all!" "You little darling! But fortunately, my dear one, I am able to 'offer you something a little better than the beggar's hovel you are evidently longing to share. I am not exactly rich, Irene, but I have quite enough to be able to keep you In comfort, if not exactly in luxury. You shall never want for anything, my sweet love, and so I am going to tell Mrs. Garland when I come to see her to-morrow morning. You see, I have no father or mother " "Ah! Now that Interests me much, much more than what amount of money you have got," cried Irene, eagerly. "I have often longed to know about your people and your relations. I never liked to ask you, but now, won't you tell me something about them?" "There is very little to tell, dearest I have no parents and no brothers. My only near relation Is my sister, who Is a great many years older than I am. and who lives in the country. Louise Is that much-abused person, an old maid; but she is a very dear old maid, and I believe she Just worships the ground your unworthy servant treads upon." "Ah!" sighed Irene. "Then she will not think me half good enough for you ! " "Will she not? Don't fish for compliments, little girl; for I shall only stop your mouth with kisses If you do. There is a young lady who lives with her. Her name Is Agatha Dale. Ehe is no relation to us at all, but my sister Is her godmother, and when Aggie was left an orphan. Louise took her to live with her, and treats her a !f she were her own child." "And I suppose she would have liked you to marry Miss Agatha Dale." "You suspicious child! Well, I must frankly own that I believe that originally was my good sister's Idea. But Louise Is a sensible woman, and she rery soon saw that Aggie and I were very good friends, but were never likely to be anything more." "I expect Hiss Dale is in love with you, though." she said, nodding he head sapiently. "How could she help It. Ilupert? You .re so handsome and fo clever, no gnl could help lovln;; you." "You little flatterer." laughed her lover back fondly. "Do you know that you will turn my head if you say euch things?", "That would be Impossible," she retorted seriously. "You are too good to be vain." Then all at once she cast her arm3 round his neck and took his dark curled head between her two white hands. "Oh, my love, my love!" she cried, with a sudden passion, "be good to me be good to me. You will not break my heart, will you? or be have badly to me as so many men 1 have heard of do to the women who loe them?" "Why, you foolish child, what a terrible Idea! 'Break your heart! "be

5LIDNDEES

have badly' to such a darling as you are! How could I be such a brute? Don't you understand that I consider myself the luckiest fellow in al! the world? It Is so beautiful to think, too, that I have taught you how to love that you have never frittered away your sweet, fresh nature with half-a-dozen desperate flirtations, as so many of the girls one meets have done. Oh! how do you suppose a man could ever behave badly to anything that he has won, as I have won you? It Is as If you were an angel of innocence that has buttered down on snow-white wings to this lower world." Presently he took her home, away from the tumbling weir that had danced an accompaniment to their vows of love; back into the quiet waters of the backwater, where the white swans glided away, ghost-like, amongst the shadows at their approach, and where the water-lilies lay like shining gems upon the bosom of the stream. "Good night, my little love," he said, as he helped her on to the garden bank. "Keep our secret for to-night, and to-morrow we will tell the dear mother together. I shall come early. Go home now, and dream of me." Beneath the archway of roses that filled the night air with balmy sweetness, they kissed once again and parted. A nightingale sang high up In the elm tree overhead, a white moth, with widespread wings, fluttered past them. A little breeze, redolent with mignonette and Jasmine, paused for a moment to murmur a caress In their oar. "Good-night, good-night! until tomorrow!" said the man. "Until to-morrow!" echoed the girl, and the little breeze bore away her words like a sigh. And so they parted full of love, and of hope, and of bright dreams pf a long and happy future. When Irene reached the house, she turned back once more; but the punt had disappeared, and she saw her handsome lover no more.. She looked up at the sky, and lo, and behold! the moon had veiled her beauty behind a thin hazy mist, and a heavy bank of cloud had stolen up from the west, half over the star-flecked sky. She shivered a little she knew not why. "If I were superstitious," she thought "but then I am not in the least! It would be too utterly foolish, for what can take my love and my happiness away from me new? it Is fixed as the foundations of the earth itself. And though we are parted now for a few brief hours, to-morrow I shall see him again to-morrow, happy, happy to-morrow!" Alas for that "to-morrow" for which she longed! CHAPTER IIL Drip! drip! drip! Almost before his eyes were open, Rupert Carroll heard it on the deep thatched eaves outside his bedroom window. Drip, drip a steady, relentless downpour. He flung open the casement, and looked out. Low clouds covered the sky, the distant woods were blotted out, the cows in the meadow opposite the Inn stood meekly huddled together under the shelter of the trees, and the rain came down in torrents, as If It had never rained before. "What a morning! and after such a lovely night, too." he thought, and then he drew In his dark curly head on which the rain drops were freely splashing, and proceeded leisurely with the operations of washing and dressing. "A letter for you, sir," said the chambermaid at his door. Just as he was putting the finishing touches to his toilet He half opened the door, and took the envelope from the girl's hand. The hand-writing was his sister's. He remarked an "Immediate," on the corner of the envelope, so I.e sat down by the window to read it. Miss Louise Carroll's letter shall be given at length: "Harvington Lodge, Kent. "At last, you most aggravating of brothers, I have succeeded In getting your address from your London chambers! It is absolutely necessary that you should come down here at once. Netherville has proposed to Aggie! He met her last year at the Claytons If you remember, and I think she took to him then because of his extraordinary likeness to you. Last week she went to stay with the Claytons again, and met him again. He proposed, and she has accepted him; of course I ought 'o be delighted, for It is a capital match for her and she seems quite happy. But then, there is the one drawback of my never having seen him. which makes it so very' awkward for me now. Of course family feuds are ridiculous things, and cannot be kept up through succeeding generations, but the fact remains that our fathers we're on bad terms with each other. You were too young to know much about it, but I was grown up, and remember it all very welL Our mother, as you know, and Lady Netherville were twin sisters, and the quarrel arose from the late Lord Nethervllle's shameful treatment f his wife. Our dear mother's hole life was made wretched by the misery of her adored twin sister, and our father did all he could to reason with and reprove his brother for his Inhuman conduct, but to no purpose. There was a fearful quarrel between the brothers, and they parted in anger, never to meet again in this world. Poor Aunt Netherville died of a terrible disease, entirely brought on I believe by her husband's violence and ill-usage, and our mother never really recovered the sorrow of' her death. Of course this was all very shocking and very painful, but it is an old story new, and all our parents are dead and gone years ago, and you and our cousin, the present Lord Netherville. were both little boys of 5 years old at the time, so he probably knows as little of tha rights of the case as you do. Still, as he wishes to marry my adopted daughter. It makes the situation very uncomfortable for me. There is only one thin to be done, and that is, that as you and he are friends, you should come down with him and introduce him to me. I must ask you, my deare3t Ilupert, to put aside your own pleasures and engagements for two days, in order to do wh'.t I want. You must not fall me, dear boy. I do not think that I am asking too much of the brother to whom I have been more like a mother thai? an elder sister. I calculate that this letter will reach you Saturday morning, so please pack up your bag and come straight up to town by the first train after you get this. You will meet Netherville at Victoria Station. I haife told him to look out for

you, and conti down with him hy tfe 5:15 train. If you will Just stay with U3 till Monday morning, I will release you then, and you can go back to your teloved Thames. Your aff-etion-ate sister, "Louise Carroll." Rupert read the letter through twice over with a somewhat perturbed face, then, holding it still in his hanil he went slowly downstairs to the low, oldfashioned coffes-room, where his breakfast awaited him. He was torn in twain with conflicting claims. There was on the one hand Irene, his newfound love, and his duty to make known his pretensions to her hand at once to her mother, besides his own inclination to remain with the girl he loved. But en the other hand, Miss Carroll was the one person In all the world to whom Rupert owed th? greatest consideration and affection. To fail her now, at this crisis of the family, history, would be to cause her great annoyance and embarrassment. (To be continued.)

FREE CITY OF THE EMPIRE. Founded 1,00 Year Asm, It Is Picturesque and Fascinating. For a thousand years Rothenburg has been a city. For more than 500 years it was a free city of the empire. It is not like those ancient towns which, through centuries of strife, preserved their entity through being huddled near the base ol some great castle; it Is not like those towns that were protected by powerful princes; for It has maintained itself by its own unaided sturdiness. If great barons came to Rothenburg they came to receive protection, not to give it, or else they came to be entertained with the lavish openhandedness that made the city a place to which emperors themselves found pleasure In resorting. By crusaders and pilgrims, Rothenburg wa3 held in affectionate regard, not only for Its generous hospitality, but because, seen from the river, it bore a striking resemblance to Jerusalem, says Robert Shackleton in Harper's. But there was order in those times of turbulence; and in an old. old house used by Palestine's pilgrims, and still known a3 Pilgrim's house, there Is an ancient stone, bearing upon it an ancient carving of a hand and a hatchet, with the ominous inscription: "He who hath quarrels in thl3 house shall have hl3 hand cut off." Yet since those early days the town has been comparatively forgotten. Even yet it has not become a haunt of the tourist and the traveler, although each year a few Americans resort thitherward, bringing back tales of thi3 city that out-Nurnberg3 Nürnberg. It 13 easily reached, being on a little branch line from the railway between Frankfort and Munich. It is a place where tho sightseer cannot go wrong, for everywhere is fascination. The. are both statelines3 and beauty. There are towering houses with criss-crossed fronts. There are dcp dungeons under ths rathhaus. reached by stairways dripping with moisture, Into which not a ray of light can enter; and in one of these dungeons, some five centuries ago, the men of Rothenburg placed the burgomaster who more than any( other in the long burgomasterial line, gave to the city power and wealth and prosperity. But they charged him with conspiring with the emperor, and not only gave him no light, but edged their animosity by deliberately givng him no food. It is in all a fiercely dramatic s,tory; for friends who were still faithful tunnelled to the cell and m idly cut through its prodigious wall and reached the prisoner but only to find him dead. Nowadays they treat unpopular burgomasters with more consideration. Each burgomaster is chose a (or three years, and at the end of that time he is either elected for life or gives place to a successor. But an election for life does not give unchecked power, for it Is a simple matter with these townfolks, If they tire of a li re-chosen mayor, to make him "so crazy with vexation," as it was expressed to me, that be 13 glad to resign and accept the pension that they palliatively offer. Only recently they thus got rid of one. A Secret Signal. "Did you ever notice how the tailors while measuring a man for a suit of clothes mix in a few letters occasionally among the numbers?" asked a down-town lawyer recently of a friend. "Whenever I have been measured for a suit of clothes the tailor always said S. B. L. in a subdued voice as he took the measure for the length of my trousers. I often wondered what this secret signal meant and on one occasion made so bold as to ask, but was put aside in some casual way, which plainly showed me tbat the tailor did not wish me to know the meaning of the mysterious S. B. L. "Well, I never knew what these letters meant until one day not long ago, when I stumbled acros3 the solution quite by accident. I was waiting to have my measure taken while a strapping big fellow was on the rack. As he measured the length of the trousers leg the tailor said. '33. S. bJ L.' "'Yes,' came back the reply from the big fellow, 'and bowlegged, too.' "All these years tailors have been accusing me of being 'slightly bowlegged,' and I had never caught on until I was practically told the answer In the accidental way." Philadelphia Record. Some Time Ilenee. "Oh, mamma, I'm frightened!" cair from little Tommie, in bed. "What are you frightened about, my son?" "I hear somebody on the roof." "Oh, well, go to sleep, my boy; it's only your father taking off his shoes before he come3 through the seutt'.e. He's Just got home from the club n hl3 airship." Yonkers Statesman. One Probability. "What will happen." demanded the FufTragette, "when a woman sits In the presidential chair?" "I s'pose we'll find chewing g'.im stuck under It," answered the mere man. The rirt Impren.ilon. "What was your firt inurcs2!cn en arriving at Eur:;e?" "Great joy." answered tho traveler, "over the fact that I was through LoIng seasick." Washington star. Under Her Hal. "What color do you wish your l.r.Ir dyed, madame?" "I'm not particular so long as ytu keep it dark." Taken liy Surprise. Frank Were you actually surprised, as you said, when I proposed? May Yes, Indeed; I really had jUI but given you 11 p!r-Vogue. Not upon mind, but upon mor.tU, b human welfare founded. Roux.

doings orwonm

Staying- Youthful. "Whatever your age may be, begin now to think of yourself as in the dawn of new developments. Say to yourself many times a day that yoa possess more vital power, more mental force, more magnetism and charm than ever before in your life. Say also that you are better loved and more fully appreciated for all your virtues and charms than ever before, and that your ability to give and receive happiness is unlimited. Then use moments which you have been accustomed to idle away or to employ in melancholy thoughts, in improving yourself. Let this improvement be three-fold, until boi'y and mind and spirit all radiate new brilliancy. Give your mind new thoughts. Give your spirit new aspirations, and feed your brain with some new purpose. Keep up whatever accomplishments I you possess; cultivate new ones. Be gin at forty, fifty or sixty, even, to sfrudy languages and music and art. And Instead or continually thinking about advancing age, think about increasing qualities and charms; instead of worrying over added years, rejoice over added occupations and means of enjoyment. Encourage the young to eek your society. Amuse and interest tLem, and this can only be done by keeping In sympathy with their Ideas. If you find your thoughts running Separate Apron Tnnle. In many of the shops these graceful tunics may be bought, all ready to wear with any skirt that matches, sleeves and even stock and gaimpc being supplied to match. In this case tunic and skirt have been built at the same time and the material is a pale biscuit shade of permo fabric, the soft silky combination of mohair and worsted threads which is daintier for such costumes than an all wool material. The braiding 13 done in the same shade of material and the little along the line of criticism and disparaging comparisons of the young people of the day, with those of your own morning time keep your ideas to yourself. Do not utter them. Dox for Ded Clothe. Unused bed clothes should be carefully packed in dry goods boxes, but those boxes should be lined throughout with oilcloth, the right side of the oilcloth being tacked next to the wood. Thi3 keeps the box free from all dampness and bedding will always have a fresh, clean odor when not kept in a musty box In which dust can collect Dampness causes valuable pieces to become musty. If bedding is packed in a box lined with lavender leaves one will never hesitate to take out a comfort, blanket or quilt for the guest's bed. Thumbscrew mm Aid to IJeautr. In olden times thumbscrews were used to torture prisoners into confession, and thus gain from them secrets that only Intense bodily pain would bring forth; but thl3, with . many other fiendish means of torture, was left behind by advancing civilization. Now, however, it has made Its appearance again, but as a means of selfinflicted torture, says Popular Mechanics. It is the newest aid-to-beauty fad of Europe, and Its mission is to squeeze the tips of the fingers until they charge from fat and pudgy to long and tapering. Needlework Xotes. A sash of cicl blue satin would be neat on a girl's dres3 of ciel blue crepe de chine. Make the yoke and sleeves of tucked net. Tinted embroidery can be cleaned by rubbing the surface with a piece of bread a day old. Use a small piece with the crust on and throw away as soon as soiled. Cushion covers for bedroom chairs are plain, Just back and front, of one colored cretonne, and put together with a simulated hem all around the edge. No frills. To prevent embroidery on sheer materials from puckering t&sto tissue paper under tho part to be embroidered. It will easily pull away when the work Is finished. Nevr neglect to moisten the linen that bi to be drawn, with a damp rag or small sponge. The threads pull even ' more easily if the lino to be pulled I3 rubbed with soap after being moIstened.N It take3 but a tew momenta to mark ono's underclothing wiih embroidered initials, and these aru always much

prettier than anything that can be sewed on that It seems as if every girl who likes pretty lingerie would mark It in this way. Changeable tones in chiffon find way among the fall dress materials which look rich over solid silk or eatin foundations. Theso patterns are trimmed with rich trimmings of gold and embroidery. Old newspaper wrappers make excellent rollers for centerpieces. They cap be covered with a piece of white paper, which Is easily removed when soiled. To each end paste pieces of tape long enough to hold the covers in position when on.

Advantaa-e of the Short Girl. The tall girl may be more imposing In appearance, more of a power at social functions, but the short girl does deadlier execution among men. From the first day they are at ease with her, which means a great deal to the average man; in her presence he does not feel the drawbacks of early incessant cigarette smoking, and the degeneracy of his sex; she can coax and pout, and flounce into pretty little passions with greater grace than a "daughter of the gods"; she needs a protecting arm In a crowd, and she does not take up so much room In a railway car, or dwarf her partners THREE STRIKING COSTUMES Coat la Rnsslan Smock Style. yoke and stock are of dotted net in blse or old lace color. The Paris fad for everything Russian has brought forward all sorts of Russian habilaments. Tolstoy's peasant smock Js much used for coat models and such a smock 13 suggested here, though this coat has bfen adapted to meet the Iongwaisted lines of the season. The fastening, at one side, is very Russian in character, and the fronts are cut double-breasted fashion, closing snugly about the throat. This coat is matched by a in tho ballroom or while out for a walk. There never yet was a little woman who could not flirt more furiously than a tall one, and yet escape unfavorable notice. Her scratches all seem to be given In play. It is, of course, by comparison that everything is thus or thus, and so it Is only when Judged by the standard of some exceptionally tall sister that a short woman will permit herself to be so described. She will always Indignantly disclaim a brevity of Inches under any circumstances, though no woman ever yet objected to the epithet "little woman" as a term of affection. Strength of Unman Hair. A human hair of average thickness can support a load of 64 ounces, and the average number of hairs on the head is about 30,000. A woman's long hair has a total tensile strength of more than five tons, and this strength can be Increased one-third by twisting the hair. The ancients made practical use of the strength of human hair. The cords of the Roman catapults were made of the hair of slaves, and it Is recorded that the free women of Carthage offered their luxuriant tresses for the same use when- their city was besieged by the Romans. "Too many fond parents give way to their knpulse to pet the new baby," said a New York physician recently. "It Is a mistake that often has fatal results and cannot be too strongly condemned. Of course, there Is a reason for all things, and no physician would be so hard hearted as to deny to the parents all such expressions of affection, but handling of infants should nevertheless be sparingly Indulged In. The child should be held gently and never Jounced about or excited unduly. "After feeding the little fellow should be laid on his right side or on his back. If laid on its left side the weight of the liver, which organ Is proportionally very large in infants, rests on the stomach and sometimes

dlairesses the child. Lay him down after his iaeal and do not disturb him, even if he cries to be petted. "Indeed, parents weak minded enough to yield to the young tyrant's demands in that respect are laying up for themselves a large share of wrath to come. Let him have It out. In protracted cases selfwilled infants sometimes wake the echoes of a whole block for many hours, but the next time the struggle comes it won't last so long, and in time - the child is trained to obedience in the matter of going to sleep. It takes strength of mind to follow this out at first, but it pays. "Of course, the mother should always make sure when tho child cries that there is really nothing the matter with him. If he stops crying as soon as picked up, it's a pretty good sign that he merely wants attention. Have no mercy in such a case, but V3ave him. in a separate room if possible, where he won't see any one moving about He will soon learn what It means and will expect nothing different."

Mendlns Umbrella. v Sometimes a person would like to change some expensive umbrella handle to another umbrella and fasten it on solid. This can be done by cleaning out the hole left In the handle from the old rod and filling the hole with powdered sulphur. Place the handle in a solid, upright position, and after heating the umbrella rod red hot push the rod down into the hole containing the sulphur. The hot rod fuses the sulphur, and when cold it will hold the rod solid. This method may be applied to fastening rods into stone, iron or wood. Position la Sweeping-. If a woman will stand up straight while she is sweeping It will prove the very best possible way of expand ing her chest But stooping over a Jersey Top Frock. plaited skirt and both are of navy blue mohair, The ultra expression of the moyenage mode has been the Jersey top dress, with a cuirass bodice reaching to the hip, and braided to imitate the ancient armor effect This frock is of whi'e silk cashmere, ' the bodice being of the supple woven silk fabric of which the embroidered silk gloves are fashioned. The braiding is done In white and the sash, which is tied around the hips, is of white satin me3saline. broom is bad; the chest is contracted and the work made harder. To sweep vigorously with head up and arms moving freely helps to give the shoulders a beautiful erectness and also pulls off superfluous flesh. Especially where the arm is too fat directly below the shoulder this work helps. It takes off the extra flesh and rounds the arms splendidly. For this it is almost as good as using the washboard, and that is proverbial for improving the arms. Woman' Supreme Gift. If a woman is blessed with tact, she has the supreme gift It will bring her all the things she needs. To her it is a much more valuable asset than beauty, or even genius. Tact Is certainly the greatest of all gifts to a woman. The girls school in some far distant Utopia is going to include a course in tact to correlate with its curriculum from tho primary grades on through the postgraduate work. For, when the day of enlightenment does come, the sensible mother and the astute father will realize that a working knowledge of how to get along with people is more to be desired than much wisdom in so-called higher branches. Tact Is more Important than trignometry. It stands a girl In place of beauty; it takes her further than talent; It brings the world to her feet to do her homage. Tact Speed the day when we $hall appreciate the importance of this unconsidered trifle! Help us to realize that with It woman can wheedle the world out of anything it has to give; but, with her feeble strength, she can't wrestle with it and get anything! Lace Buttons Serviceable. Use white lace buttons on thin dresses and blouses. The eyes cannot break, there are no shanks to pull out and. above everything else, they cannot be wrung off In the clothes wringer. The last trouble perplexes the average housewife, who must always replace buttons after the return of the week's washing. These buttons are not new on the market by any mexjis, but they are not as universally used as they should be. Here' an Ideal llnnband. An engineer on the Pennsylvania Railroad stopped his train to rescue a kitten that was asleep on the rails. If he isn't married we would recommend him-unqualifiedly for a husband to the best sister we ever had. Los Angeles Tiaiea.

Spectator Why don't they begin the duel? "They are waiting for the photographer." Meggendorfer Blaetter. Wife In a battle of tongues a wornn can hold her own. Husband M'ye3, p'r'aps she can; but she never does. Tit-Bits. "Wantanno Why do you call that boy of yours "Flannel?" Duzno Because he just naturally shrinks from washing. London Tit-Bits. "That clerk of yours seems to be a hard worker." "Yes, that's his specialty." "What, working?" "Noseeming to." Boston Transcript Mrs. Bleecker (upstairs) Bridget, have you turned the gas on in the parlor as I told you? The New Domestic Jewel Yls, mum; can't yez smell it? Christian Advocate. Elderly Lady Doctor, I am troubled with a hallucination that I am being followed by a man. "What sort of cure would you suggest? Honest Physician A mirror. Cleveland Leader. Fortune Teller You will be very poor until you are thirty-five years of age. Impecunious Poet (eagerly) And after then? Fortune-Teller You will get used to it The Sketch. Miss Homelelgh Perhaps you won't believe it, but a strange man tried to kiss me once. Miss Cutting Really! Well, he'd have been a strange man If he'd tried to kiss you twice. Illustrated Bits. "Why does your baby cry so much?" "Say, if you had all your teeth out, your hair off and your legs so weak you couldn't stand on them, I rather fancy you'd feel like crying yourself.' Llppincott's. A. I used a word in speaking to my wife which offended her sorely a week ago. She has not spoken' a syllable to me since. B. Would you mind telling me what it was? Fliegende Blaetter. Father Why have you kept me waiting, Johnny? Johnny A man dropped ten cents in the gutter. Father Did it take so long to find it? Johnny No; but I had to wait until he went away. Mrs. Hub What Is this thing the expressman Just brought? Mr. Hub The settee you asked me to get Mrs. Hubb Mercy, what a nun! I didnt say a settee; I told you a tea set Boston Transcript "To-day my wife and myself had the most foolish squabble of our married career." "And what was the subject of your discussion?" "How we would invest our money if we had any." Kansas City Journal. "I don't see why you are dismissing me," said his chauffeur, angrily. "Didn't I take you out in your car twice last month?" "Yes," answered the owner, "but you wouldn't take me where I wanted to go." Life. A young man in Pratt said to the divine object of his adoration: "Do you think your father would object to me marrying you?" She replied: "I don't know. If he's anything like me he would." Kansas City Star. Mamma Edgar, didn't I tell you not to take any more preserves from the Jar? Edgar Yes, ma. MammaThen, if you wanted some, why didn't you ask for them? Edgar 'Cause I wanted some. Modern Society. Cholly Softhed Say, Mr. Killtime, I er love your daughter and want to marry her. Is there any insanity In your family? Mr. Kllltlme No, young man, there's not, an moreover, there ain't goln' f be! Chicago Daily News. Grade Oh, Mr. Nocoyne.how lovely of you to bring me these beautiful roses! Eow Sweet they are, and how fresh! I do believe there Is a little dew on them yet! Nocoyne W-well, yes, there is; but I'll pay it to-morrow. Tit-Bits. "Do you and you wife ever have any differences of opinion?" asked the impertinent acquaintance. "Only once In a while." answered Mr. Meekton, "when Henrietta changes her mind about something and neglects to notify me." Washington Star. Stern Parent (bringing out the strap) Now. Tommy, I suppose you know why I am going to. whip you, don't you? Little Tommy Yes, sir; you are going to whip me because I am so small. If I was as big as the man next door you wouldn't dare lay a finger on me. A New Yorker, dining a Philadelphia friend, desired to show him all the delicacies of the season. One dish in .particular the Phlladelphian exclaimed over in delight "That is made of snails," said his New York host "Don't you have snails in Philadelphia?" "Oh, yes," responded the Phlladelphian; "but we can't catch the pesky things!" Llppincott's Magazine. "Witness," said the coroner, "do you know what motive the deceased had In committing suicide?" "Yes, Judge, your honor," said the witness pom pously. "Deceased told me his motive, sir." The coroner, the court officers, everybody, looked interested. "What was, then, deceased's motive, witness? said the coroner. "Why, your honor, he said he wanted to kill hlnielf," was the reply. Troy News. A Lynchlaa Dee. "No," drawled the mayor of a Western town, "the boys had some money tied up In the bankrupt telephone company, and they Ju3t didn't like the way the receiver was handling the business." "Didn't, eh?" commented the tourist "Well, what did they do about it?" "Oh, they Just hung up the receiver." Tit-Bits. Simply Impoaslble. "Who wrote 'The Light That Failed?' " "I don't know," answered a man who doesn't read much. "But I'm positive of one thing." "And what Is that?" "It wasn't written by the advertising man of any illuminating company. Their lights never fall." Birmingham Age-Herald. No town will ever be so good tha gossips will not find something to talk about; the gossips would move from such a town. If you give your own affairs the attention most people give to gossip, ycj will get rich.

MUNYON'S Eminent Doctors at Your Service Free

Not a Penny to Pay for the Fallest Medical Examination. If you are in doubt as to the causa of your disease, mail us a postal requesting a medical examination blank. Our doctors will carefully diagnose your case, and If you can be cured you will be -told so; if you ancot Le cured you will be told so. You are not obligated to us in any way, for this advice is absolutely free. You are at liberty to take our advice or not, as you see fit Munyon's, 53d and Jefferson streets, Philadelphia. P Making" Room for Hoaea. Dr. Edward Everett Hale was a foe to long sermons. He used to tell a story of a long-winded preacher and the minor prophets, which the Washington Star reprints. This preacher once preached over an hour on the four greater prophets, and then, when his exhausted congregation thought he was through, he took a long breath, turned a fresh page, and leaning over the pulpit, said: "We now come to the more complex question of the minor prophets. First let us assign to them their proper order. Where, brethren, shall we plact Hosea?" . An Irascible old gentleman in a back pew rose, took his hat and stick, and said, a3 he departed: "Place him here if you want to. I'm going home." VALUABLE HOME BECIFE Will Break TJp Severest Cold im Day and Care Any Curable Cough. Mix one-half ounce of Concentrated pine compound with two ounces of glycerine and a half pint of good whiskey. Shake thoroughly each time and use in doses of a teaspoon! ul v to a tablespoonful every four hours. This formula is given out by a noted medical authority whose remarkable cures are well known to the profession. Local druggists say this mixture will work wonders for tha treatment of all throat and lung diseases. Any druggist has these ingredients or will get them for you from his wholesale house. The Concentrated pine comes only in half ounce bottles, each enclosed in an air-tight case, but be sure to get only that labeled "Concentrated." A Poor Blemory for Xante. The teacher was trying to explain he word "transfiguration." "Don't you" emember the transfiguration on the Iount?" she said. "Who wa it who vas transfigured and changed In apearance on that occasion?" she asked lopefully. After a moment of thoughtul silence, Barker hesitatingly raised lis hand. "I can't Just remember his name," ie said, "but he was up there hunting ind he went to sleep and slept twenty ears." Success Magazine, Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets regulate and invigorate stomach, liver and bowels. Sugar-coated, tiny granules, easy to take as candy. Didn't Blatter to Her. It was a genuine heathen. In the guise of a small negro girl who flgured in an episode with a half crazed religious fanatic on a downtown street corner the other day. She had been sent to the pump there for water, and, returning, told her mammy: "Dey was a man at de pump." "What'd he say?" questioned tha parent "He say. 'Taln't no Gawd,,w waa th answer. "What'd you say - 1 say, 'I don't keer" Louisvllie rimes. Do Yonr Clothes Look Velio wf If so p.m Red Crota Dsll Blut. It will Bik tbtm wblt as idow. Largs 2os. pscktf 4 ß csats Moat Powerful 3ereM!sbt. The world's most powerful searchlight Is now part ofUhe equipment ol the Connecticut of the United States navy. The great mirror is five feet Is diameter and was made for the government in Germany. The searchlight will throw such a powerful beam of light that it will be able to detect a submarine or torpedo boat at a clistance of ten cniles. ABC TOIT LOMNO FIXMl thron fh racLlai mar that jnn cannot otm cbwkl A bottle of Al'.ro' l.usc Balm wUI ur ta trouble aod help yoa tck to health. Pasnlna of the Hostess. The decay of the fine art of entertaining is much bemoaned by a London paper. Once no woman would think of entertaining at any place but in her own home. Now she goes to a restaurant to save the trouble In the home. Moreover, there was a time when the hostess prided herself on her own conversational powers anc upon her ability to draw out her guests, who were generally chosen with regard to somo ability In this direction. Now nobody talks, but somebody sings or plays arJ the concert or rhetorical entcrtalanent has taken the place of brilliant conversation. . New Order. Stella Is she a Colonial Dame? Bella Yes, of the divorce colonyNew York Sun. W mn n n : A FOR OUT DOOR WORK IN THE WETTEST WEATHEP NOTHING EQUALS x WATERPROOF OILED GARMENTS tOOKY,TLl-VEtfYiTLL AND Will KOT 1IÄ LGXCCaTS-322-352 SUITS 322 SOB fvtrrwKtJfS A. J. Tower Co. boston. ua. Tower Canadian Ca umtcd -Toronto, cam. BDHH FC PAY tF ruagp M rtttaU far. RE A CO.. DEPT. B5. MUNEArOLIS, Hill.

mm

f VsFv STHtY

im