Plymouth Tribune, Volume 8, Number 33, Plymouth, Marshall County, 20 May 1909 — Page 6

All Who Would Enjoy good health, with its blessings, must understand, quite clearly, that it involves the question of right living with all the terra implies. With proper knowledge of what is best, each hour of recreation, of enjoyment, of contemplation and of effort may be made to contribute to living aright. Then the use of medicines may be dispensed with to advantage, but under ordinary conditions in many instances a airnple, wholesome remedy may be invaluable if taken at the proper time and the California Fig Syrup Co. holds that it is alike important to present the subject truthfully and to supply the one perfect laxative to those desiring it. Consequently, the Company's Syrup of Figs and Elixir of Senna gives general satisfaction. To get it3 beneficial effects buy the genuine, manufactured by the California Fig Syrup Co. only, and for sale by all leading druggists. FASHION HINTS

White mull, organdy, very sheer linen l-.wn, any of these would be suitable for kis graduation frock. It is made with a tucked tiounc? which runs higher in front The arrangement of the trimming is original and pretty. Fine white embroidery, r a lig'h; pattern of cluny lace could be Used. ; The belt and sash are to be of librty satin. One Kind. Mrs. Chuwater Josiah, ' this paper ays Col. Fribbles is a "compelling speak er.' What does that mein? Mr. Chagwater It means that he compels you to go to sleep. I've heard Fribfcles. Chicago Tribune. Good for Sore Eyes, lor ever 100 years PETTITS EYE SALVE has positively cared eye diseases everywhere. All druggists or Howard Bros, Buffalo. X. Y. Thomas Nelson Page, the Virginian writer, has, it is announced, decided to to into the raising of mules on an extensiv scale on a 1,000-acrt plantation near Bearer Dan, Va. Toll Clotnen Am Vaf rhtlr. Keep them white with R?d Cross Ball Sloe. All grocers sell large 2oa. package, S coats. A Klag' Bank. The practice of hiding money away in all man:-er of out-of-the-way corners 1s by no means modern. In the old lays, according to '-Cleanings After SI me," secret receptacles were often made In the bedsteadsand contributed both -to safety and romance. On August 21, HS3, Richard III. arrived at Leicester. His servants had preceded him with the running wardrobe, and In the best chamber of the "Blue Boar a ponderous four-post bedstead was set up ; it was richly carved, glided and decorated, and had a double fcottom of boards. Richard slept in it that night. After sUs defeat and death on Bosworth Field it was stripped of Its rich hangings, but the heavy and cumbersome fcedstead was left at the Blue Boar. In the reign of Elizabeth, when the nostess wan shaking the bed, she obaerred a piece of gold of ancient coinage fall on the floor. This led to a M a a t .At ' eareiDi examination, wnen me n.oubla bottom was discovered, upon lifting a portion of which the Interior was found to be filled wtth gold, part coined In the reign of ttlehard III. and the lest of earlier times. Mach Ado. ' Tb poet and the artist were quarxcUiig bitterly at the other end of ths -What's the matter with thenar asked a caller. "They are comparing notes as to irhich makes the most money,' was tha explanation. "It's strange how people can quarrel about next to nothing. Isn't it?" LIGHT BOOZE. Do Yon Drink ItT A minister's wife had quite a tussle with coffee and her experience Is Interesting. She says: "During the two years of my training as a nurs"-, while on nijrht duty, I eecame addicu-d to coffee drinking. Between midnight and four in the morning, when the patients were asleep, there was little to do except make the rounds, and It was quite natural that I should want a good, hot cup of coffee about that time. It stimulated me and X could keep awake better. "After three or four years of coffee drinking I became a nervous wreck and thought that I simply could not live without my coffee. All this time I was .subject to frequent bilious attacks, sometimes -o severe as to keep nie in ied for several Liys. "After being married. Ilusbijiid begged me to leave off coffee, for he feared th.it it had already hurt tue almost beyond repair, so I resolved to make an effort to releas myself from the hurtful habit. I beg:in taking Postum ard for n few days felt the languid, tired fro! ins from the lack of th stimulant, but I liked the iaste of Postum, und that anmrreu tor me oreaKiasi; oeverage an rijrht "Finally I twprnn to feel clearer headed and had steadier nerve. After a year's use of Postum I now feel like a new woman !uvc not had any bilious attacks since I left off eoTeo." There's a Reason." Head "The Hoad to WeÜvIHe," in -pigs. Ever resd the above letter? A new one appears from time to time. They are genuine, true and fail of kuman interest.

Mast Keep Faith. "The people understood that we were 1 lo have a revision downward; the men who made the platform understood It; e understood It; everybody undarstood It, and no amount of sophistry :an otherwise explain the party promise. The American people have determined upon revision downward. It may be in your power to act contrary to the wishes of the people, but so sure as you do the tariff will be revised, not by the friends of protection but by the jnemies of protection.' The Hon. Mo3es Edwin Clapp of Minnesota, In the Senate. Senator Clapp's statement of the Situation Is exact, and his warning to his Republican colleagues is timely. Mr. Taft was elected and the Republican party continued in power on exactly the understanding and the promise he lescrilies. The Republican party must x.ake substantial - reduction of tariff laxes or convict itself of bad faith. The state of the treasury, the condi üon of business, the need of more reve nue for useful purposes, the disorganltation of the party in the Senate by scatter-brained uplifters, make it intonvenient and difficult to reduce customs revenue. But the party's pledge has been given, and the people have accepted it and look to the party for it3 fulfillment. There were Republicans last year who regarded a pledge to revise downward as hasty and untimely. Hut that pledge was given to the people and accepted by them. Good faith demands that it be reasonably and substantially kept and not dodged or denied. Since revision downward means less revenue from customs, revenue must be obtained by other taxes. It is the business of Mr. Aldrich and his Republican colleagues to face the facts as they are and deal with them as facts. It may be unpleasant to Impose other Lixea, but revenue must be had and the party pledge redeemed. The House has kept faith. The order of the day for doubtful and reluctant Republican Senators Is to. keep faith. The dose is unpleasant to many ot them for many reasons, but it should be taken. Keep faith and take the dose you helped to mix. Take your medicine, and keep faith. Chicago Inter-Ocean. The Antl-Trmt Cair.paltcii. The policies of the Taft administration In the matter of trust prosecutions differ far less from those of the Roosevelt administration than the rountry has recently, been led to believe. During President Roosevelt's seven years the task of dealing with the trusts wa3 largely educational. It was necessary, for one thing, to awaken the people to the need of curbing monopolies. The Sherman law was little understood by the courts and the railroads and trade combinations had ignored it; they had chosen, in fact, not to read it. A good deal of preliminary litigation was required in order to gain an understanding of the law and to obtain rulings upon which further and more effective prosecution could be carried on. The attorney general, in his address before the New York Bar Association, on Friday evening, gave the clue to the Taft campaign. With the experiences learned in the Roosevelt administration the cases igainst the trusts will be pushed where the department of Justice is sure of its grounds. Other cases brought upon evidence sine pronounced as practices within the law will be withdrawn. Thus the forces of the government will be concentrated upon recognized violations and those only. The labor of educating the country Into watchfulness is over. It is possible now to let the prosecution proceed in quiet and with celerity. Mr. Roosevelt performed the labors of the pioneer. His successor has assumed other labors and has need to use other tools. Toledo Blade. The South' Different View. The South, once so solidly opposed to a high tariff, ha3 different views now. Louisiana will yelp Its lungs dry if the bill which the Ways and Means Committee presents to the House calls'for the elimination of the duty on sugar. Texas and Oklahoma will not keep quiet if oil and oil products appear on the free list, even if the Standard Oil Company has agreed not to oppose the measure. Georgia and the Carolinas will be strong for the maintenance of customs charges on lumber. The cotton mills of the South will cause that section to be watchful lest competition with the British factories be made a part of the commercial calculations. Florida Is uneasy about the boom !n fruit growing In Cuba and the Isle of Pines, and so on. You can run your eyo down the schedules and foresee the distinguished statesmen from below the Ohio leaping to their feet In defense of "infant industries." 3feannes of a Ulir Measure. The sugar trust has paid the last inKallment of a fine amounting in all to 12,134,000 for defrauding the government out of trickeries with the scales The payment amounts virtually to an admission of guilt and makes ridiculous one of the pleas of the combine that It was unaware of the existence ot the swindling springs. The sugar trust is one of the grptest beneficiaries under the tariff, but this has not contented it. Its greed recognized no frontiers within honesty. There is only a difference In degree between the malefactor who goes after millions and "the small one who beat3 his cus tomers out of pennies. And he has the les3 claim upon popular respect. He cannot present the excuse of temptation, the defence of harassing bills and the approach of a cold hearted landlord. Toledo Blade. Not n l.M'iit inn n. The fart that protection I.j not a local issue, as a former Democratic candidate for the Presidency declared, is plainly shown in t Ii" columns cf the Southern newspapers, which tell how, under the beneficent guardianship "f tli1 McKinley law. industries are being built up that promise at no distant date to p;!e employment a:il gtod v.-.ip-es to hundreds of thousand:; Df workmen. TIrre vc have tli Louisville (V,:M!!iercial. published in the DeroeraMe border ta!- of Kentucky, asserting that ' there are more pianos In th? hmi-e of vorki;urme;i in I.cnisvill? than in. the houses of all the work'ngmrn of England; and probahly there are more v.orkinpmen owning their homes in Louisville than in all England." Xo: protection is net a local Issue! Freeport (111.) Journal.

THE DLNGLEY LAW.

Custom lleceipt Prove It to Have. 1 1 --Ii n ii Advunlaitntui M fiimire. sow that the days of the Dingley tariff are numbered, it is interesting to review the history of the law as a revenue raiser. It has been denounced by tariff-revision enthusiasts as a narrow, prohibitive measure, but the custom house receipts give the lie to any such story. If it had discouraged importations to an unwholesome or oppressive degree, It would have failed to meet the revenue test, whereas, the truth is that It has produced the most abundant revenues the government ever had at its disposal, accumulating the greatest treasury surplus on record. The first full year after its adoption it went into effact July 27, 1S97 was 1S9S. The amount of duty collected that year was S145,43S.3S.. Its smallness was due to war and trade depression. The next year. 1S!9, saw a marked increase in duties, the amount being $202,072,030. and from this point there was a steady progression to $iS0.752.000 in 1903. The speculative and industrial reaction in 1901 reduced ethe customs receipts of that year and 1'Jöj to $258,222.000 and $2.'S.12J.t0D. respectively: but in 190'.; the upward movement resumed, culminating in receipts of $329,4 $0,048 in 1907 and importations of no less than $1G.4X in value per capita for our whole population, as against an SS.0Ö capita in USDS. The law has, therefore, been one which, while It protected and promoted American industry, was magnificently effecfive from the revenue standpoint. Proof that it is unnecessary to sacrifice the Protective quality in order to assure sufficient revenue could not be more complete, nor would this customs revenue have been so ample if the Tingley law Protectionism were as hidebound as some of its Free-Trade critics have professed to believe. Congress should take all this into consideration in framing the new measure. Pittsburg Press. Trust Prosecutions. It was a tremendous Inheritance of litigation that was left to V4r. Taft's administration. . Not anc j.t of the executive departments s entering upon such excessive lay Is as that of Secretary Wickersham Cases of Immense importance an; to be fought, cases involving not merely all the Intricate and dispute joints 0f the antitrust laws, but t life of those prohibitory acts as eil. Sixty or serenty actions are in course of trial are docketed for trial within a few Z.ionths. The Standard Ofl Company will come in for a big part of the bombardment. The great combination of steam railroads and electric lines in XeT England is under lire. The powder trust must answer for its extstence. Harriman's railroad mergers may have to undergo reorganization if the government wins its pleas. Prosecutions of violations of the Klklns law are pending against railroads and other corporations. The department is also called upon to prove the constitutionality of the employers' liability act. The President will have attained great credit for his administration If these cast s are carried through with speed and efficiency. They will prove of Immense value to him when he presents his candidacy four years hence for another term In the executive mansion Toledo Blade. The Outlook. Business is climbing back to normal planes. Improvements are noted by the weekly trade reviews in many lines. Only two uncertainties appear in the road to recovery, the tariff discussion and the seasonal uneasiness over the conditions of the crops. Railroad earnings, which have always been considered a fair Index of the state of the country, have shown a gatn of 12 per cent In the first two weeks of April over the same period of 1903. Bank clearings are decidedly increased. Advantage has been seized of the lowered cost of lumber, stone and brick, giving the building industry something like a boom. Bradstreet's announces that building expenditures projected in the first quarter of 1909 exceed all but two quarterly periods in the country's history. Activity in pig Iron may ca'use the early removal of the Immense storages of ore In the lake ports and stimulate the carrying trade before the date counted upon by shippers. JVhlle wheat Is still somewhat backward, an Improvement has been noted. As for the tariff debate, that will be brought to a" halt soon. The President urges the Senate to hasten In order that business and manufacturing may adjust themselves to new prices. The Free llitle Hunibujr. The truth is that the question of free hides is actually of very little consequence to the country at large. The only hides affected are those of cattle, and they are of value only for making sole leather. None 1 of the manufacturers appear to be making any serious objection to the duties on other and lighter leathers used for different parts of the shoes. And as to the extent to which sole leather affects the shoemaking industry it has been shown repeatedly that the difference in cost between shoes made from free or "taxed" hides could be at the utmost but a trifle. Men claiming to be disinterested experts have asserted that the greatest limit of additional cost Is about five cents per pair, and this. If true, shows how foolish is all the row raised over free hides. There are other tariff provisions of far more consequence to the people as a whole than free hides. Troy Times. A (.rent Manjr Loopholes. One of the over-zealous opponents of a protective tariff who spoke against the bill pending in Congress should curb his riotous fancy and consult a few cold figures In the shape of government statistics. He spoke of protection as a barbarous system which builds a Chinese wall around the country to head off trade with other nations. A system which permits this country to do a foreign business of over jn.öfio.oOo.ouO annually iintst have a great miny loophole:-? through which the imports can qct in and the exports gt cut. Troy Tlms. Wlijit (iiiecil lloitiüti "John, you had to look out -for yourself ever slirv you were IS. didr.'t you?" "Y dar; but I wasn'l a success l.t it." "Lid nu nnlc any hid breaks? "1 Kot 1 1 1 n r r i ' ('.."---Hon .-.ton Post. K ii m! I:ijr J I ii Mi y, - "My .husband thinks he is very economical." said the blue-eyed woman, "lie saves everything. One drawer of his desk is devoted to time tables, and he has some that are three years old."

TO A ROBIN.

Yon accurately reckon Her coming to a day I When her bright fingers beclion, . You're up and on jour way. A.d on some rainy morning, Refreshing and remote, 1 catch the first spring warning In your metallic note. Sing on, brave little Robin, Until the blossoms start To bless the lyric throb in The music of your heart I Success Magazine. She glanced at the postmark on the nvelope. The letter had been on its jou.v.ey six days. In four days moro Llmer Morse would come. She quickened her steps. There was ?o much to do in those four short days. No, she would . not keep him Raiting. A glow of triumph filled her heart. She had not waited In vain. How many iimes sle had been told that she was wasting her year3 by her constancy. Even her aunt, with whom he lived, had expressed doubts ot Elinor's faithfulness. At least, she had iold Elinor that she would do well to think twice before she let any good ihance to marry slip away from her. And there had been chances, more especially that thrifty farmer, John Torrington. It was this middle-aged R'ooer, sturdy and respected, whom her aunt especially favored. ; But Elinor's heart was not to be shaken In Its constancy to her first lover, the lover who declared himself when she was still a schoolgirl and who had gone Into the Far Western wilderness to win the fortune that was to bring them together. A chance had been offered him by a distant relative. He had eagerly accepted It. lie hoped to return in a year at the latest. But fortune was elusive and five years had passed. ' And is Elmer going to stay here?" her aunt asked, after she had heard the momentous tidings. "Why. yes," Elinor replied. "Here in Clintville?" "Of course." "It Isn't much of a settling down place for a man who has seen the WE AKK FRIENDS Or THE COLONEL. world," her aunt suggested. In her exasperating slow way. Elinor flushed. "That Is all understood." she said. "Elmer knows that I would never consent to leave my old home and my friends and go away among those wild strangers." "Such things have been done," said her aunt, sententlously, as she turned away. It was a little early for the train, but every detail in the simple program of welcome had been arranged. The pretty cottage was swept and garnished; the appetizing luncheon was prepared, and now the gentle Elinor, her heart beating with anticipation, sat on the shaded porch with her expectant gaze on the road among the willows. And then she saw a group of men there were five of them standing by the roadside as If not quite sure of their bearings. Presently they came forward and disappeared behind the high hedge. A moment later Elinor saw them at the gate. One of them pointed toward the house. Then the Crate Wa.4 nnenn.l ! and they came up the pathway in slngle file. It was quite evident they were strangers. Elinor had time to Inspect them before they reached the porch. For a moment she was alarmed. Were these strangers the bearers of bad tidings She quietly arose and stepped forward. But, no. they were smiling as they halted and drew up in line. And then every hat came off as if at a concerted signal. It was the youngest man who spok?. "We are friends of the colonel, from Montana, Miss Barnes." "From Montana!" she cried, and looked at him "wildly. "The colonel Is all right, Miss Uarnes." the youngest man hastily answered her. "We managed to get here a little ahead of him." "The colonel?" Elinor repeated. "Col. Morse," the youngest man explained. " "Everybody back yonder calls him :olonel," said the stout man. Elinor gave a little gasp. "And you you have come all the way from Montana?" she cried, and put out both her hands. He glanced about at his companions. "Having given you his promise," the youngest man resumed, "the colonel wasn't tha man to tell you what he was sacrificing. That wouldn't be like him. He wouldn't tell you what a foothold he had gained out there and what a power for good he had become and how we all need him. He wouldn't tell you that Nature had fitted him for a man of action, a pioneer, a builder, a leader of men. He never hinted that the confines of thi3 little town would be to him like prison bars. And, of course, he didn't tell you that we want him for our Governor, that our State needs him and that he's the only man the friends of reform can elect!" He piused and drew a quick breath. The girl was softly crying. Somehow the words of this earnest young stranger hurt her, and yet they filled her with pride. "It wis because Elmer Morse would not tell you these things," the youngest man went on, "that we are here. We wanted you to know the truth. We love the colonel and we need him, lady. We have come here to ask you to give him back to us. And we want you, too." He piused again. The girl had turned and was looking toward the roadway. And then without a word sha flut-

I Guests from Afar I

BIGGEST ENGINE

NEW TWENTY-TV O THOUSAND HORSE POWEB TURBINE. Chicago at the present moment is distinguished as having within Its limits the largest prime mover in the world! This largest prime mover on the globe Is the huge turbine engine with which the new Quarry street station of the Commonwealth Edison Company is equipped and which at 22,000 Indicated horse power is to be multiplied by six before the station is complete. As a matter of fact, two of these 22,000 horse power units already are dancing the dervish dance in the Quarry street station and the third one is In course of erection. ' Physically, one of these 22,000 horse power turbines isn't particularly big to look at At a quarter, of a mile li resembles an Iron water tank resting on the ground, and including base rising to a height of thirty feet, with diameter of about fifteen feet. But as to its insldes: Oh, my! Fifteen thousand horses Inside of It, and every mother's plug of them running away! A horse power. It will be remembered, Is an old fogy designation of a force that is sufficient to raise SS.000 avoirdupois pounds to a height of ona foot in one minute. With 22.000 horse power exercising the cylindrical shell the generated power Is sufficient to pick up twelve Chicago Sunday Tribune buildings, each seventeen stories high, hoisting them at the rate of sixty feet an hour, until at the end of a ten-hour day this 204-story building would be C00 feet above the Dearborn street pavement! For the Tribune building weighs VCO,000,000 pounds, complete and tenanted as It is. Bat talking about running on railroad schedules, nothing that was ever set to rails can compare with the speed which is developed in each of the five turbine wheeU inside the jacket of the engine. Each of these wheels is fourteen feet eight Inches in diameter, and each wheel under Initial pressure of ISO pounds of steam to the square inch makes 750 revolutions a minute. Putting a wheel of this diameter up m a rail and giving It 750 revolutions to the minute would make the modern automobile speeder appear so nearly stationary that you'd have to set stakes in order to discover that he could be moving. Six and a half miles a minute would be the turbine schedule, or two hours and-thirty minutes from 'Chicago to New York.Chlcago Tribune.

tereJ down the steps and the pathway and disappeared behind the hedge at the roadside. "The oolonel has come," said Scotty. "You should have talked ' faster. Harvard." said the second man. "You said it beautifully," added the third man, "but I dunno as 'twas right to make the girl cry." "If you'd said another blamed word," put In the fourth man, "you'd had me snimn. too." Scotty looked at th8 jounger man anxiously. , "What do you think, Harvard?" The youngest man ierused to venture any opinion. "You can tell as well as I can," he said. i "It looked pretty dubious to me," Scotty muttered. "Here they come," said the second man in a hoarse whisper. "Brace up." Up the pathway came the tall colonel and the girl. His arm was around her waist and he was so 'absorbed byN her presence that he did not see the waiting groUjP on the steps. When he looked up he gave a quick start and rubbed his hand across his eyes. "Where am I?" he cried. Then he suddenly laughed and gripped the hands that were thrust at him. "Welcome to our fair village," said the Irrepressible Scotty. The tall colonel drew back and stared at the group In a puzzled way. 'This Is very good of you, boys," he said. Then he looked back at the girl. Her face was pale, but her eyes were shfnlng. "I am afraid I haven't made It clear to our wedding guests how very welcome they are," she said. "Perhaps I can make amends later on. Because I think they are going to know me much better." She laid her hand on the colonel's arm in a pretty way. "You, see, Elmer, you and our friends here are going back to Montana together and I'm going with you." Her voice shook a little. "And because Montana needs us," she added with a laugh, "we are all all going to stay there." W. R. Kose In Cleveland Plain Dealer. llmfortlag tha Court. In colonial days York, Maine, was the county seat to which the judge and lawyers from New Hampshire and Massachusetts often went, and the court sessions were attended with much official pomp and ceremony. In "Old Colonial Houses In Maine" Emma Huntington Nason quotes from a record left by John Adams, who, as a young barrister, went to York in 1774, and who made at that time the following entry In his jourual: "When I got to the tavern on the eastern side of the Piscataqua river, I found the sheriff of York and six of his deputies, all with gold-laced hats, ruffles, swords and very gay clothes, and all likely young men who had come out to that place to escort the court Into town." This gives us a hint of the pomp and splendor affected by the court ofliclals of those days, "when the judges wore robes of scarlet with large cambric bands, and Immense wigs, and J his barristers had gowns and also bauds and tie-wigs." As the judges approached the shire towns, the sheriff met them with an escort and flourish of trumpets. Their arrival was announced by cannon; and ths daily summons to the court befcrt bell.5 were introduced was by r .iilng a dtum. Pooph; in big towns are eo sellisn. We would rather live in a little town, where the people sympathize with you when in trouble, and where, If you have no trouble, they will look up some for you.

IN THE WOHLD.

TO MAKE HENS LAY. Sir. Tltnmon Vatm an Original Idea Into I'ractlce. I got all these to-day," said Mrs. Timmons, holding out her apron and showing seven fresh eggs. Mr., Timmons said nothing. There was nothing for him to say. He knew why Mrs. Timmons showed him the seven eggs, because she had been showing him eggs dally since the warm weather began. It was just her way of protesting against his having paid $5 each for a dozen fine fowls which would thanklessly eat large quantities, 'of fancy foods; as thanklessly Inhabited yards he had specially made for them, and which produced two eggs per week for the lot Mrs. Timmons, on the other hand, had bought eight hens and a nondescript-looking rooster from a farm wagon that passed. They were a badly assorted lot of hens, no two alike, but they were grateful for the occasional handful of table scraps she gave them, and each laid practically dally. It was maddening. Sitting In his office next day, Mr. Timmons had an Idea. It was not an original Idea, but he believed It woul help things along. He would buy i few eggs and place them In his nests,' thereby not only deceiving Mrs. Timmons, but encouraging his hens to lay. That evening he took an old negro Into his confidence, the agreement being that every evening he was to slip in the back gate and place eleven eggs in the nests. "Well," said Mrs. Timmons next morning, "your old hens have waked up. I went back there and they'd laid eleven eggs." "Sure enough," said Mr. Timmons delightedly. "They're remarkable layers." Next day it was the same. A couple of days later Mrs. Timmons came to him with the eggs In her apron. "Those are the most remarkable hens I ever saw," she said. "I wish mine were like them." "It pays to get good stock," said Mr. Timmons, grandly. "Why, there Is a world of difference between my birds and those mongrels yon have " "I should say there Is," agreed Mrs. Timmons. "Why, your eleven hens have laid fourteen eggs to-day, and one of them Is a goose egg." "Hah, hah!" cackled Mr. Timmons, weakly. "Somebody's let some other hens In that pen. They'd better let my birds alone or I'll kill somebody." Galveston News. A Mlatakea Uniform. Uniformed officials are often a puzzle to American travelers. An instance of this is given In "Recollections of a Varied Career," by Gen. W. t Draper, formerly American Ambassador to Italy. General and Mrs. Draper were traveling In Russia, when they had the following amusing experience in the sleeping car: Mrs. Draper's maid, Marie, speaks German as well as French, but Russian is beyond her. After Mrs. Draper's bed was made she desired another pillow, and Marie rushed ino the corridor to get one. Seeing a man in uniform the railway porters wear uniforms she demanded a pillow, la German. "I have no pillows," said he. "A bolster, then." said Marie. "I have no bolster." '"Then give me a couple of towels to wrap up cne cf these dirty cushions." "I have no towels, cither," said the uniform. "1 am a colonel' in His Majesty's Imperial Guard." Poor Marie nearly went into hysterics, and I was called in to explain that no effenso was meant. And now a scientist fays that tears will kill disease germs and every woman knows they will destroy a make-ua

DON'TS BY THE BABY.

Tbfis Roles Should De Strictly Pol lunrd by All Concerned. All newly born babies who desire to have a copy of the following on a card to hang around their necks can obtain 5ne free by applying to this office: Don't handle me more than is necessary. Don't put Into my mouth, to stop ms from crying, an old piece of rubber to suck. It is about the worst habit I :an get Into. Don't let any relatives see me. Don't take me up, strain me to your breast, walk the floor with me, dmce before me like a wild Indian shaking a horrible rattle, or talk gibberish to me when I have a crying spell. There may be something serious the matter ' with me, but this isn't going to help. When I push away my bottle, don't force me to feed. I know when It is necessary for me to eat anything. Don't take me to the circus, prayer meeting, or to spend the day at the seashore. I'm not so old or so fool- ! proof as you are. j Don't kiss me. Take some one of ! your own size. Don't show your anxiety about me when in my presence. I haven't any j too much confidence In myself. I Don't be too proud of my unnatural ! brightness. It may be a form of degeneracy. Don't tell anybody that t am enly a little animal. Let them guess it for themselves. Don't take my temperature or send for the doctor on the slightest provo- j cation. Don't let the light strike Into mj eyes. Don't roc! me to sleep. Itemembei that the in ad that rocks the cradle is ruled by tha baby. Lipp incott's Magazin. "Is she making him a good wife! "Well,, not exactly; but she's making him a good husband." Johnny The camel can go eight days without water Freddy So could I, If ma would let me. Dyer Did his widow succeed in breaking his will? Duell Yes; long before he died. PIck-Me-Up. "She said she'd marry me if l" felt the same way a year from then." "Did you?" "Yes; but toward another girl." Belle I wish the Lord had made me a man. Nellie Perhaps he has,only you haven't found him yet. Cleveland Leader. Hotel Clerk Do you want a room with a bath? Uncle Hiram Wa al no; I don't calculate I'll be here Saturday night. Princeton Tiger. "Did the wedding go off smoothly?' "About as smoothly as such affairs always go off.' The only hitch that occurred was when the pair stood up to be united." "Ho;r do you ever get on so well with your wife? Don't you ever have any differences of opinion?" "Of course wo do. But I don't let her know it. Cleveland Leader. Little Mary sat seriously thinking out some hard problem, when she remarked, "Grandma, I don't know yet which I'll be. a nurse, or a storekeeper, or get married, and be nothing." Johnny They're makln shingles out o" cement now'days. Dickey I don't mind that so much, but if maw ever gets a pair o cement slippers I'm going to run away! Chicago Tribune. "I'm gettlii,? out a line of commonsense footwear for women." "Do women want common-sense footwear?" "They'll want mine. I've added an exra "inch to the heels." Washington Herald. "I see the wireless 'phone 13 a failure," he said. "I'm glad of it." replied his wife. "Just think of the remarks you make when Central irritates you. and those floating around in space fcr any amateur to pick up." Mr. Simple I see, that this here piano-playln' Paderewskl has got the rheumatism in his hand so he can't play. Mr3. Simple Then why don't he use one of these mechanical pianos? Cleveland Plain Dealer. "Is June the favorite month for marriages out here, too," asked the New York lady. "I don't think so," replied the Chicago woman; "I've been married six times In other months, and only twice In June." Yonkers Statesman. Minister I'm sorry to find you coming out of a public house again. Hamish, after all you promised me. Hamlsh Ay, sir, it's wonderful what an awfu decelvln thing this mist is! D'ye ken. I went in there the noo thlnkln 'twas the butcher's shop! Tit-Bits. "Now," said the magistrate, "you must testify only to what you know, no hearsay evidence. Understand?" "Yes. sir," replied the female witness. Tour name is Mary Bright, I believe. Now, what's you age?" "I won't tell you. I have only hearsay evidence on that point." Catholic Standard and Times. He (desperately) Tell me the truth. It is not my poverty that stand3 between us?' She (sadly) Y-e-s. He (with a ray of hope) I admit that I am poor, and so, unfortunately. Is my father; but I have an aged uncle who is very rich, and a bachelor. He Is an invalid and cannot long survive. She (delightedly) How kind and thoughtful you are! Will you Introduce me to him? New York Weekly. Unpolled I.Ives. The life of the criminal is simply an unpoised life. If a person were perfectly poised, wrong-doing would be so repugnant that it would be unthinkable. It Is the one-sided, the unpoised mind that goes wrong. It is just as normal for the balanced mind to choose the right, the good, as for the magnet to draw to Itself whatever Is kindred. Just as the needle' in the mariner's compass always points to the north star, no matter how thick the fog or how the tempest rages, there Is a needle within every hunian being which always points to the north star of rectitude, of right, of truth, no matter what storms cf . discord, of weakness, or cf crime may bo raging in the individual miud. Nothing can prevent this little indicator from pointing to tbe right, no matter how far the individual may drift from it. how low he may f-ink in vicious living. From Success Magazine. If some people were to marry for jralns instead of for money they would probably got left just the same.

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I want verjr person who uffers wltn anr form or Kidney ailment, no matter how many reiaedlea they have tried, n matter how many doctor they tare consuited, no matter how serious the case. t ?t Munyon's Kidney Remedy a triaL 00 will be astonished to see how quickly it rehTos all pains to the back lolna and proins canned by he kidneys. Yon will b surprls?d to see how quickly It reduces the swelllne In the Zeet ani le. iilso puffineps under the ejes. after takicf a few doses of .this remeJr. You wilt be delighted to see tbe color returning to your checks end feel the thrill of jlffor and rocd cheer. If your Urine Is thick or milky, if it Is pale and foamy, if It contains sediments or brlkinst If It Is highly colored or has aa offenslre smell. If you urinate frequency, you should persist In takln this remedy until all ymptoms disappear. We beUere thtj remedy has cured mor perlous kldr.ev ailments thaa all tbe Kidney mpdlclr.es" that hat been compounded. Professor Munyon b- . lleres thet the terrible dfath rate from Brlght's Disease snd Diabetes Is unnecessary and will be greatly reduced by ttl remedy. Go at once to roar drnr!st and rureba a bottl of Munyon's Kidner remedy If It falls to give satisfaction I will re'fuad your money. Munyon. For aal by all druegtsta. Pr!e 25e. Fell from Scaffold and Injared II! Back. , Thirty years ago Janios C Iee, of 1100 9th street, S. E., Washington, D. C fell from a scaffold and seriously Injured his back. In telling about it be says : "My suffering was terrible ; from the small of my back all around my stomach was just as if I had been beaten with a club. I tried all kinds of plasters belladonna, capcine and porous 4hout getting relief, and bought so-called electric belts but none of them did me any good. One day, while working near my daughter's house, my back pained me so badly that I had to quit I went Into the house and lay down for ease. My daughter had a bottle of Sloan's Liniment In the house end she rubbed my back well with It and gave me some to take home. I used six and a half bottles of Sloaa's 2c. Liniment and can do as much work now as any man In the shop, although I am sixty-seven years old. I would not be withcut Sloan's Liniment for any consideration and recommend It to anyone suffering pain. Ther Quarreled. Among the applicants for domestic employment In the service of a Brooklyn household, says a writer In Harper's, there once came a big, husky Irish girl yclept Annabel. "What was your reason for. leaving your last place, Annabel?' asked the mistress during the course of examination. "I couldn't stand the way the master an' mistress used to quarrel, nium," was the reply of Annabel. "Dear, dear!" exclaimed the lady. -Did they quarrel all the time?" "All the time, mum, repeated Annabel ; "an, mum, whin It wasn't me an' him. It was me an' her." NOTHING IN SIGHT. Life Had Lost All Interest. Mrs. J. P. reniberton. 854 S. Lafayette St., Marshall, Mo., says: "Doctors told me I had Brlght's disease, and I believed it, I was get-, ting weaker and weaker until I finally tock to bed. The kidney secretions were scanty and seemed filled with dead tissue. I got thi. and emaciated and thet began to bloat all over. It oppressed my heart and I was In such a condition that I did not take an Interest In anything. As a last effort ' I began using Doan's Kidney Pills. The kidneys responded quickly, began carrying off the poisons, and when I had if 1 twelve boxes the trouble was all gone. I now enjoy better health than ever before." Sold by all dealers. 50 cents a box. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo. N. Y. Ills Leading; Specialty. "Your husband is a chicken fancier, is he?" What Is his favorite breed? "Well, I am not certain, but X think It'a the White Pippin." Safe and Sore. Among the medicines that are recommended and endorsed by physicians and nurses is Kemp's Balsam, the best cough cure. For many years it has been regarded by doctors as the medicine most likely to cure coughs, and it has a strong hold on the esteem of all well-informed people. When Kemp's Balsam cannot cure a cough we shall be at a loss to know what wilL At druggists' and dealers', 25c Explained. Why does a big game hunter usually go to Africa instead of Asia?" 'They don't have so nuny sacred animals thers." Every Wemaa Will Be Interested, i There has recently been discovered an aromatic, pleasant herb cure for woman's Ills, called Mother Gray AI STRALI AX-LEAP. It Is the only certain regulator. Cures female weaknesses and Backache, Kidney, Bladder and Urinary troubles. At all Druggists or by mail 50 cts. Sample FKK EL Address. The Mother Gray Co, Leltoy. N..Y. Possibly Might Work. Franklyn You have a. plan for increasing the revenue? Iet's hear it. Furniss Double tax every famliy that has no babies. If yon use ball blse, get Red Cross Ball Blue, the best ball blue. Lr;e 2oa. package, 5 cents. "Strictly Pore. The United States is not alone in labeling its foods as "strictly pure." A writer in the Strand Magazine quotes the following from a bottle of 'Tonatoe Sauce" purchased somewhere la the Straits Settlements: TOXATpE SAUCIl The sauce are pur. The flavor are terrific. IIoie not think imitation as good fine as us sauce. We havnt put nothing but nice tonatoe in sauce which give us such fine terrific flavour. Once taste will have more. Januwala & Co Main Iload Taiping Straits Settlements. m I". . c- ! I I r U L H D 'A"t r.

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