Plymouth Tribune, Volume 8, Number 25, Plymouth, Marshall County, 25 March 1909 — Page 6
wjTi1"8 Yoft We A ;Are Traveling- JSÜMysU tnc impact ixi Ruin m (lW -- W'WS' L sEfr wJfJIrÄ Led by the Prospect vÄ I ÄJ- A Z&Viimm M'of Easy MonT jlMlj PJIhIJ P fylrJ ff Jj i x 't-. fcx life!
"Take my word for it. son. there are Imndrods of ynun fellows of whom 3'ouM never think it that are hitting t.'ic hih siK)ts on the road to ruin. You can find thou? almost any place excepting when? they should Ih. blowing their money like lords, pett'ns a tow-h of the hijrh life that brines
remorse when it i-i coo laic real' sports, you know. Fools, every one of them, worse than fools." The speaker, a man in the prime of life, said tills to a Detroit Free Press reporter as his eyes wandered over to a Irio of yomis men who vre shaking tlic-e lor the drinks. He was a mun who knew the ropes. Only a few feet from where lie sat at the next table, in fact a youn; man well in his t uis was rn-onntintr his exploits for the benefit of two admiring conipanioiis. ".Made sixty dollars on a han"look las week," he cried, unsteadily. Ius.cst money you ever saw. Pretty soft, eli? Say. fellers, you're frleu's of mine, an if you want I'll put you wise to how you ean pull down more money "n you ever supxsel there was In the world." The effect of this offer vas apparent. The two addressed were interested, anxious. Into the room there came a man of perhaps "SO years. With : hasty glance alout to et tlat the oast was clear he hurried over to on of the iKirtenders. stealthily dnw a hill from his inxkct and passed It over to the white-coated man. then left as hurriedly as lie had come. "See that fellow?" reuiiirked the old-timer. "There's a shining example of what ganihlhig will d for the best of them. Less than five years ago he was the possessor of a comfortable fortune. lie got to placing th onies. and there was nothing Im- to it. He'd pawn his shirt to get money to put down on a race. It wasn't but a little while until the fortune had disappeared, and he was singling money that should have gone to the support of 'his wife and child, lie was discharged from the j.siti n he held. Then he went clear to the iMtoni of the toboggan slide." Of all the vices to which mankind Is subject, those in touch with the situation will tell you that gambling is the most insidious. There is the hope of getting something for nothing, a hope that has buoyed optimistic mankind up from time immemorial, and as regularly failed to make good. When it does not materialize there is the di end of exjosure that seals the victim's Vt and leaves his tempter free to continue his nefarious operation without fear ;f interference. Even when the victim awakens and threatens to mak;' trouble there is usually a scurrying for cover on the part of those wl have duted him. and a hurri"d settlement, with the understanding that the affair will not be made public. This makes the work of suppressing gambling doubly hard for the olice, owing to the dilliculty In weuring evidence, for the man who has been duped Is usually content to escape without any publicity. Nevertheless, .there are stories it plenty connecting men you would never susjwet with shady transactions that have forced family and friends to come to their aid in order to avoid notoriety. , A young man was discovered to Ik short in his accounts. He confessed that he had taken money to cover gambling debts, how he was threatened with exiosure unless the shortage was mach good, and how his family," be-
"WAB." SCARE IN POlTH AMERICA. War lietween l'ruIzil and its neighbor, I Argentina, is among the jossiMIit!es of the future, say In three years. IJoth countries are being placed ii;on a war foot In?. The authorization of an expenditure of ?70.4(.C4) by the Argentina cham!er of deputies Is a step Ion- contemplated. A hitter, jealous feeling exists lx tween the two countries. Itoth have made Iocs strides In tlie mutter of EurojH-an civilizalcm within the past tire years. Traditions have been swept aside and the two republics of South America are neck and neck for first place. In case of war it woc'-l be a naval uffalr from start to finish, ending perhaps in a terrific conflict between two great fleets. The survival of the fittest would tell which country was paramount The toiograpby of the two countries and their frontiers show that but little could be done on land. First Train Scare Man. k Never having seen a train himself, and driving- a horse in dense ignorant of what one looked like, Alex. "SYMlinghani furnished citizens of FuPon, Ky.. with the most unique runaway ever heard of in Kentucky. The man was about to cross the Illinois Central tracks, when he espied an approaching frefaht. He Jumped terrified and unhitched the animal. Then he tied the horse to a pole end grubbing the shafts nf the buggy he sprinted de-.vn Main street The roars of mervaauts and idlers caused him to turn, and in retreating he narrowly escaped a switch engine at the crossing. He ran into a telegraph pole with his vehicle, which was almost demolished. Flake graphite valued at $171,140, amorphous graphite valued at $125.821. and artificial graphite valued at $481,mo. were produced in the United States in 1907. while an even greater amount was imported to meet the demaud. The sjeed of automobiles is controlled at crossings in a Chicago sulurb with considerable success by the creation or a hummock in the road by raising tht sidewalk crossing above the road level. largest of ail guns carried b- I'.ritisli warships is the 12-lnch, btif siuce the Brazilian ships now building in Kngland are to be fitted with 13.5-inch gnus, it has been decided to conduct e.jeriment.s with the large weaiou for the British navy. The city of Rome has appropriated about $10GO,000 for an electric plant, the generating npparatus for which will be placed twenty-two and one-half miles away, the current being carried bf two overhead wires.
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MAN FINDS $25,000 IN AN OLD KENTUCKY HOUSE Hidden treasure to the amount of 5,000 was found in a tlu box under the hearth of the old Nathan Itoss homestead near Paint Lick, (Ilrard county, Ky.. by II. II. Ilensley. recent purchaser of the projerty. Twentytwo thousand dollars of the money was in United Mate coin. $1,100 in Confederate bills, and the rest of the treasure consisted of diamonds valued at lx'tween ?2.U0O and ?Lr0O. It is not known by whom the money was dejosIted or how long it had been hidden, as there was no writing of any description in the box, but it is believed to have been secreted by Itoss during, or shortly after, the Civil War. KILLS EAGLE AND SAVES BABY. John Keeves, a farmer living near Quinton, N. J., killed a large eagle just as it started to carry off his baby, who was playing near the barn. The bird had lcen seen near the house for several days and had carried off several chickens and small stock. , II run Sprout lu C'blld'n liar. A U'anstalk growing out of a .'5-year-old child's car was disovered at St. Peters, Mo. The tean was removed by physicians and the child, n daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Walter Sommelman. Is none the worse for her exierienv. The child's aunt discovered the stalk and luestiom-d her as to its soiir:-, but could get no satisfactory answer. The little girl said she had felt no pain and that the growth in her er had caused her, no Inconvenience. What is believed to 1? the oldest Kurojieau painting In existence has been found in Crete by the Indian archaeological mission. It is on a sarcophagus, and Is supiosed to have been mad JTjCO II. ( An advocate of the vegetarian diet has stated that the nut trees of the world are capable of supplying food, all the year, to thf population of the globe. At the present rate of growth Manhattan Island will have a population of 2.500,000 in 11)31'.
lleving the s:oYy only when they heard it from Ids own lips, made up the deficit and sent him away wlc.Te he could lrget. bis old associates. Another man prominent in fraternal circle's Ixvame linaiicially embarrassed through his fondness for the pnu-s, and when lie ould no Ions1'!" conceal his indebtedness fled-the country, lie was brought back, and. through relatives, sue -ceded in raising enough money to discbarge his obligations and avoid prosecution. Now he is down and out, suffering .social ostracism, but a little better than death, shunned by those once proud to call him their friend. There used to be places where the wise ones were led up into a room and permitted to watch a ticker that told, by means of a private wire, the progress of races at various points In the country. The advance information was gratuitous, and patrons were accommodated whenever they wanted V) put down their money on tips that, unknown to them, originated with an Iterator in an adjoining building, tlu ticker having no connection whatever with the tracks in question. They fell. too. in large numbers, until the fraud Ittvame apparent. Then the old-timers dropijed out to make way for a fresh crop of suckers. Not infrequently a bettor, particularly if he hapiens to be new at the game, is permitted to win a little just to urge him on. Such a course las the desired effect, and it isn't long, if he stays by the game, that he Js hopelessly entangled. There is only ouo ending the ending that Inevitably follows the attempt to beat another man at his own game. Slowly but surely the cords ire drawn lighter and tighter until the victim is firmly enmeshed. Then' comes the denouement debt, defalcation, disgrace, -despair. do where you will, in city offices, si ores, on the street corners, in hallways, there can be found men and boys studying the racing forms, figuring out the '"doK" preparatory to putting their money on the ponies. They lind places to make their bets. too. In several instances omissaries of the handbook men have invaded factories and others soliciting business from workingmen and clerks. "Their efforts have been rewarded, for they have got the business. Even stenographers and wot king girls have the fever. There's man a young woman who experiences dilliculty in taking dictation from her employer, but who can tell you how many races a given horse has figured In, and what another should do to the field In which lie is entered. Thousands are afflicted by the malady bank attaches, confidential clerks, cashiers, mechanics, all classs, all luml on by the hope of easy money.. In the barrooms of an evening, in the factory or restaurant at lunch hour, or the car platform, you can hear the in recounting their ventures. The wianlngs are always heard of, the losses suppressed, if not forgotten. It may be only a matter of a few dollars at the outset, but the longing to be a real sport, to operate on a "large scale, lends them Into dangerous paths.
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The recent executive order taking from Congress its prerogative of selecting sites and plans for the buildings and monuments of the national capital vests the power in a council of tine arts and the President. This council consists of thirty inemttcrs. architects, painters and sculptors whom the President selects at the suggestion of the ir-stltute. Fifty-tWo years have passitl since a few New York architects met together and decided to organize and unite in fellowship the architects of the United States of America, and to combine their efforts so as to promote the artistic, scientific and practical etlk-lency of the profession. The institute cherished high ideals. These ideals as the years passed have been Im idled forth In buildings and monuments designed and wrought out under the guidance of its members. Ithhard I'pjohn, the lirst president, and architect of Trinity Church In Xew York, served the institute for nineteen years. Thomas I. Walter, designer of the dome and wings of the National Capitol and stately (1 Irani College, succeeded him and filled the office for ten years. Itichard Hunt, architect of the administration building at the Columbian exjMisition and of Uiltmore, the Yanlerbile residen-o in North Carolina, was president from 1SSS until 1S01. Daniel II. Iluruham, chief architect of that harmoidous group of buildings constituting the World's ColMnhian exposition and foremost in all recent plans for the ieautifyiag of cities, was president for one year. C.eorge II. Post, architect of the New York Stock Exchange and of the College of the City of New York; Henry Yan P.roui, designer of the I'leetriclty building in the Court of Honor at the World's Columbian cxiki-
BITS OF SCIENCE. Prussle acid poisons every living thing, plants as well as animals. Alabama produced 1 U.SS ounces of gold and l.'J'J of silver last year, of a total .value of SJ'VJTJ. cb-rman inventors have succeeded in producing a tar-free power gas from bituminous coal, economically. Cerm.iny and Brazil av to be linked by a new cable that will have a branch to the Cerman West Africa colony. The national conservation commission Is considering the possibilities of sawdust and other waste lumber products, in view of the Increasing scarcity of titulier. A Ilritish shipbuilding firm is making a specialty of light draught vessels, with a bow rudder, to make them more easily steered when going astern in shallow water. Miniature electric trains, running automatically In tunnels, are being tested by the Berlin postal authorities as better In many ways than the pneumatic tube for carrying mall.
According to the federal bureau of animal industry. ier cent of the cattle of the United Stat-s are afflicted with tuberculosis. The Italian army has constructed a dirigible balloon with a capacity of L-"iOj cubic meters, all parts of which were made in Italy. The Italian government lias established a bureau to deal exclusively with the electrification of the State railways, which is making rapid strides. Sharp angles should Im aoided In the pipes of hot air furnaces. Square turns obstruct the flow of air much more than rounded ones. A Union Pacific electrician has equipped a locomotive with wireless telegraphy to enable train dispatchers to keep In touch with trains which It hauls. A French linguist who recently translated some early fireek writings found that the people of those faraway days were well acquainted with the necessity for sterilizing drinking water.
FUNERALS HER MANIA; HAS ATTENDED 4,007. A peculiar fascination to attend funerals that seemed to have charmed her when yet a little girl, und which she has been unable to resist her long lite of over 81 years, has given Mrs. Heltcccu Wentzel. of pottstown, Pa., a leputation far and wide as a mourner for everybody's dead. "Laugh and the world laughs with you; weep, and you wop alone," does not apply to her, as her record of attending 4,007 funerals et tests. In her carefully kept diary she has noted that of these funerals there were fourteen double ones of children, eleven where husband and wife were buried together and seven where three persons of one family were interred at the same time. In one of the latter cases a mother and two children were laid in one grave. In talking of one of the triple funerals. Mrs. Wentzel recalled a c loudburst many years ago that resulted in the drowning of three metnlers of one family at Mauser's Mill, near l'ottstown. Mrs. Joseph Wentzel. daughter of Ja
cob Mauger. the proprietor of the mill, had gone from her home with her live children to help pull flax at the old homestead. A cloudburst about eventide had swollen the mill race, but Mrs. Wentzel's brother. Henry Mauger, felt confident he could drive her and the children across in safety, so they could reach home. Uut the waters engulfed the rig and three of the children and the horse were drowned. After a thrilling struggle the lives of the other two c hildren, the mother anil the driver were saved. DOG DRAGS BOY OFF TRACK. At South Xorwalk. Conn., right in the path of the 1'ittsfield express, little 'P.uster" Plunkett. the ,'J-year-old son of Mr. and Mrs. .James Plunkett. abandoned by his little friends, sat crying and within a few inches of death. when Irish, a larjje St. Ilernard dog. pulled the child to safety just :is the express whizzed past. "P.uster" is a favorite in his neighborhood and the children strive for the opjortunity of drawing him around on his sied. Itig. playful Irish, owned by John Davis, a neighbor, was friskiug around the children as light-hearted as they, when In crossing the railroad tracks the sled lodged on the bare ground and the children dropped the rope and ran for home. Irish then went to the rescue. The train was stopped and a purse made up for the boy and dog.
spiffed
sitlon ',, Ilobert S. Peuliody. president of the lloston Society of Architects, and so Identified with the uiunbiixil improvement movement in that city; Charles F. McKlm. whose n.c uumtnt is the Boston library; William S. Karnes, planner of many public buildings, and Cass (Ulbert, architect of the new State cap! to!, St. Paul, Minn. these are the men who have successively been honored and have conferred honor in their service as president of the institute. In the letter from the directors of the Institute which led President Roosevelt to apiint the council of thirty, reference is made to IInfant's plan of Washington.. The new plan Is, in a sense, a revival of the plan of the French engineer who was chosen more than a century ago to prepare the plan of the new federal city Major Pierre Charles L. Infant, a Parisian, attracted the attention of Washington while serving as major of engineers during the revolutionary war. His plan for the capital demonstrated his ability and met with the full approval of Washington and of Jefferson, theu Secretary of State. It was formally adopted and the young Frenchman was engaged to superintend Its execution. A controversy arose between him and the commissioners of the District, and us he refused to allow- his maps to Ik? published as a guide to purchasers of lots he was dismissed from the service of the go eminent. For years lie haunted c-ongressional committee rooms, urging his claims tor coir-iK-nsatlon as the original designer of Washington. He was laughed at and died a pauir. ' Tim, however, has vindicated his plan. The essential features of this original plan were bnad streets, great squares, parks and careful locations of public buildings.
SAYINGS OF SAGES. Take time by the forelock. Swift. A light heart lives long. Shakspea re. Arms and laws do not flourish together. Caesar. Be wise to-day; 'tis madness to defer. Young. He bears misery best who hides it most. Shakspeare., , Silver Is of less value than gold; gold, than virtue. Horace. A patient mind is the best remedy for affliction. Plautus. Auger logins with folly and ends with repentance?. Pythagoras. Among the virtuous disgrace is considered before life. Euripides. Tue Forest Commissioner of New York has reported that 00 per cent of the forest tires In that State were c-j usm1 by sparks from locomotives. Inventors are now confining their attention almost eutlrely to three branches airships, automobiles and improvements in electrical appliances.
FAKES OF THE FARM SUBJECT OF IWIIIIIG
Wrong Is Done Public by "Wonderful" Tales of Developments in Rural Industry. CITY FOLK ARE LURED TO LOSS. Cobless Corn, the Cucumber Oraag and Other Freaks Cited as Illustrations of Harmful Work. New York correspoaJeuce : II KHK are some periodicals that seem to be conducted with a view to presenting to the public the most sensational and apparently impossible happenings, written up in a 'popular style,' so as to tie readable and to create a demand for more. .Much of this stuff is distorted entirely out of its true semblance until only a bare shadow of the truth Is left." Thus spoke Stanley F. Morse. ass4K-iate editor of the Country Gentleman the other day in regard to the "wonderful" tales of developments in rural industry. "This tendency to exaggerate, to make a story, has of late teei devoted to furthering the interests of tlu 'new ami wonderful agriculture. All the periodical publications have taken a hand in depicting the joys of rural life, in telling of the unlimited wealth to be gained in" farming, in describing marvelous new creations in the plant and animal world, in singing the praises of every Tom, Iick and Harry who has hapiKMid to use a little eoinmou sense in tilling the soil and in blowing a fishhom for agriculture in general. I '.xpert I. notch at kxpltltttua. "The agricultural press and authorities alike have only laughed at this sort of thing, which has simply bevu a vulgar exhibition of tlte grossest Ignorance on the part of many lay' writers; but at last it has gone too far. having reaches 1 the point where the harm done by it can be reckoned in dollars and cents. Two classes of people have been affected in two different ways people who are scarcely able to stand the setbacks which have been caused by this popular agric ultural writing, and which do great injury and injustice to the great science- of agriculture itself. "People of the lower middle classmechanics, cariK'nters and the like have lieen influenced by glowing acmunts of new farming methods and productive farm lands that will yield to whoever may take up with them immediate, and extraordinary profits to leave their comfortable homes and well-established callings and risk the welfare of their families and of themselves in a venture of which they have little or no practical knowledge. or theoretical "Such a change is tound to end iu failure, or, at best, in obtaining only a mere living. The agriculture of today demands a higher scientific: knowledge than ever before, and many men -who have lived on farms all their lives and who claim to le fanners find farming a constant struggle, because they have to face problems which they cannot or will not solve. So, how can the average worker iu the city, having had no training or experience In modern ngriculture. expen t to jro on a farm and make it pay? "He cannot, and the -'lay' press is committing a crime against society by urging or encouraging lncxierienced persons, with or without capital, to rush blindly into liny branch of agriculture. Further, there should be men tloned here the wealthy men who have been induced to 'try fanning it.' 1'nrnirrn TheiurHe Are Injured. "Now concerning the second class of people which is Injured in another way by the 'newspaper agriculture. It will be Interesting to learn that this Includes the farmers themselves. During the last few years the papers have leen unusually active Iu chronicling new agricultural discoveries of useful seeds, plants, animals, etc.. wide h have almost invariably turned out to le fakes. "Thus a prominent weekly came out with the story of 'Alaska wheat, telling of a wonderful new wheat that yielded I'oo bushels an acre, against an average yield In the United States of about fourteen bushels an acn Of course, there was a sudden flood of inquiries from farmers, who wished-to get some of this seed, which, on account of Its scarcity, commanded a very high price. In this category come the eggs with handles (very convenient for eating boiled) ; the 'cobless corn.' which, as a matter of Interest, is also practically ken-clless; and. within a few weeks, the c-ucuiuIkt orange, deserltied as having ft delightful flavor, and, Incidentally. Its seeds can be purchased for $10 a dozen, although any botanist knows that two different siecies of plants cannot cross-brcssl." SPLINTERS. Some men haven't sense enough to do the best they can. Hog days are not confined to the sausage and scrapple season. You cannot judge a man's Intellect by the size of the hat he wears. It never occurs to a man to play a lone bund when, he wants to waste time. There are too many people iu the world who think that the right of way means the whole road. The man with the easy conscience thinks that a prayer on Sunday squares him for a week of sin. Mrs, Jenkins You never see Mrs. Smith's baby down in the parlor. Mr. Smith No, she Is afraid that it will tease the dog. Biggs Did you say that he stands high iu his profession? Wiggs Yes, he is a window-washer In the skyscraper district. First Hoarder How do you know that the new boarder Is an actor! Second Boarder He wouldn't take egga for kls breakfast this morning.
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HUN OVER BILLION-ECK MA Hg.
UorloK Last Year American Fotrl Laid 402,494 Miles of Them. Let us sing the praise of the greatest American hen, who during the last year may well have crackled with pride over the production of nearly 1,000,000,000 dozens of eggs! Do you .realize what that means? says the Woman's Home Companion. Well, listen: If, Instead of remaining- quietly at home In Iowa, she had chosen to demonstrate her powers to the universe at large the hen might have laid those eggs, each two Inches long, end to end, iu a continuous chain reaching 238,818 miles up to the moon, back again, and then more than half way around the world for good measure a total of 492,424 miles of eggs. Furthermore, It those eggs had been made Into one omelet half an Inch thick that omelet J would easily have covered Manhattan j Island, an area of twenty-two square miles. ; An old Moliammcdan legend tells that King Solomon used to travel through the air with all his armies on a won-, derful flying carpet, protected from the rajs of the sun by the wings of a host of birds. Now, according to the poultry census, there are in the United States about 2S0.0X),000 of chickens, guinea fowls, turkeys, geese and ducks Df the poultry voting age, which is three months or over. If required to furnish a moving canopy like that of King Solomon the barnyard of this ?ouutry, allowing only a foot of spread to each, could easily shadow a space of 14I square miles. "Why is the moon called silvery? "Because It comes lu halves and quarters." "Only fools are certain. Tommy ; wise men hesitate." "Are you sure, uncle?" "Yes, my boy; certain of It." Dobbs I understand she was his bookkeeper before he married her. Dobbs Yes; now she's his cashier. Maud Would you marry a widower Ethel Xo, I wouldn't. The man I marry I am going to tame myself. The Tatler. Hob Would you like to see women voters at the polls? Nob Yes, indeed. At the North and South Poles. Sewanee Tiger. Max How did you happen to go to old Gotrox to borrow money? Climax I heard he was well to do, so I tried to do him. Stray Stories. "My cocoa's cold," sternly announced the gruff old gentleman to his fair waitress. "Put your bat ou," she sweetly suggested. New York Observer. Jack Was her father violent when you asked for her hand? Tom Was ha! Great Scott I thought he would shake my arm off. Boston Transcript. "Yes, she said, "I have seen twentythree summers." "Say, he queried, "do you think it Is too late to consult an eye specialist?" Chicago Dally Nws. She What did papa say when you asked for my hand? He Why, he couldn't say a word. She He couldn't? lie No; your mother was there! Yonkers Statesman. Arthur A'skem How did you Hka Europe? Bertha BInthare Not very well. Why, actually, every place we visited was overrun with foreigners. Chicago Daily News. "I suppose your wife was tickled to death at your raise In salary?" "She will be." "Haven't you told her yet?" "No, I thought I would enjoy myself for a couple of weeks first" "I do miss Mrs. Jones. She told me all the news of the parish." 0h, that was only gossip no truth in It-" "Well, there, I liked to 'ear it. Truth or lies, 'twas all news to me." Punch. "I sometimes think," remarked th regular patron, "that the snare drummer should be the best musician in the theater orchestra." "He usually is," said the drummer. Chicago Tribune.. "Why don't women have the same sense of humor that men . possess?" asked Mr. Torklns. "Perhaps," answered his wife gently, "It's because we don't attend the same theaters." Washington Star. Her Mother Mabel, dear, do you ever feel' timid about asking your husband for money? The Bride No. indeed, mamma ; but he seems to be rather timid about giving It to me. Chicago Dally News. Tommy Pop, a man Is a bachelor until he gets married. Isn't he? Tommy's Pop Yes, my son. Tommy And wha$ does, he call himself cfterward? Pommy's Pop I'd hate to tell you, my son. Philadelphia ltecord. Constable Now, gen'l'mer, we've ".raced these here cloos the futprlnts y the boss an the futprlnts o the man to this stump; from here on thar's july the futprlnts o' the boss. Now, the juestlon Is wot's become o the man? Life. . "Hello, old man!" exclaimed Duhley it the Literary Circle reception; "It's l pleasant surprise to meet you here." "Good of you to say so, old chap," replied Brown. "Yes, you see, I was afraid I wouldn't find anybody but bright and cultured jeople here." Catholic Standard and Times. Calling" the Deaf. "To waken a deaf person who wishes o be called at a certain time in the noruiug is about the hardest proposi:lon a hotel clerk runs up against," jaid a member of that fraternity. "To Ing the telephone is useless, because :he man can't hear. Knocking, for the same reason, is futile.' Now and then a juest who has lost his hearing suggests :hat he leave his door open so we can alk righ; Iii and shake him, but even if he does appear to be dead game there are so many chances of somebody less guileless than ourselves walking in ahead of us that we can't consent to that simple e.iedleut. It seems to me the man who can patent a device for waking the deaf is sure of fame and fortune, not o mention the gratitude of the brotherhood of hotel clerks." One of the first tasks a man gives his wife is to hereafter carry on all the correspondence with his kin folks. Of what use is It to have a wife, he argues, unless she will relieve a man of all the letter writing to his kin. Fortunate Is the woman who remembers that Xrowns beget more wrinkles than smiles.
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I want every chronic rheumatic to throw sway all medicines, all liniments, all piasters, und Ire MUNYOX'S RHEUMATISM REMEDY a trial. No matter what your doctor may say, no matter what your friends may say, do matter bow prejudiced you may be ag&lnn all advertised remedies, fro nt onoe to yr drorrlst and pet a bottle of tbe It n EU MAT1SM ItEMKDY. If It fa Us to riv Mtlsfactlon.1 will refund your mony. Uaojoa Remember this remedy contains no salIrr He acid, no opium cwalne, morphine or other harmful drura. It Is put tip under the guarantee of the Pure Food and Drue Act. tot sale by all drurgists. Price. 23c Fair Exchange. You are In the employ of tbat millionaire up on the hill, aren't you?" snapped the sharp-faced woman who rau the butter and egg shop. "Yes, ma'am." responded the man in the white apron. and I want twa pounds of butter for my master's tabl-s. lie said he'd send to town after It, onlj the roads are so bad. "He did, eh? Well, we are not particular about his trade. Did yoa tell him I said his money was tainted" "Indeed 1 did." And what did he say?" "Said so was your b'auied old but ter." RUN DOWN TO A SHAEOW. From This Coadltlow Uruasbl Dark to llealtb. Mrs. Edgar Smith. Helle rialne. Iowa, says: "After an eleven-months' siege of rheumatism and typhoid my kidneys went wrong, my back was weak and painful and at last I took to my bl. Attacks of gravel ran me down to a mere skeleton. I was treated for fern a 1 e weakness without bcuent, and finally began using Doan's Kidney mi. I Improved from that time until well, and can say without hesitation that Doan's Kidney Tills saved my iffe. Sold by all dealers. fi cents a bor. Foster-MIlburn Co.. ttuflalo, N. Y. Hopeleaa Caae. Wliy. Lnt-kley, I am astonished to rn you out! The last thing I hard sbou you was that the doctor bad given yot np." "Well, he has. He r 4o!d nv th other day he had charged up my account to pro St and loss. Safe and Sore. , Among the medicines that are recommended and endorsed by physician and Durses Is Kemp's Balsam, the !est cough cure. For many j-ears it hr.s been regarded by doctors as the medicine most likely to cure coughs, and it has a strong hold on. the esteem of all well Informed people. When Kemp's Balsam cannot cure a cough we shall be at a loss to know what will. At druggists' and dealers, 2oc TCvlhlnK I'arertata Abvat . Jack. ' N'an Well, there's one thing aboul Jack, anyhow. He speakx right out what be thinks. You always know where U find him. Fan That's so. I nearly always &zi him here when I com. Wh em Yoa Pat Ileary Stocklara do your ahoes pinch, and your feet well . and perspire? Sprinkle Allen'a Foot-ICase tcto your shoes, and get Instant relief. C ic thlnz to us when wearing rubbers. Try It for lancin- Parties and Breaking In New hoes. Sold Everywhere, 2."c. Strcpl FREE. Address. Allen S. Olssted. Le Roy, N. T. Accept no cubatttate. Trouble la the Dake Shop. The proprietor of the extensive bakery was showing a party of visitor! through the establishment. "This, ladies. he said cautiously opeoing a door and permitting them to lool inside, "is the department presided ovn by our chief baker. lie claims this, however, as his exclusive doughmain, and h ic likely to be a trifle crusty if disturbed." "In that case. haughtily answeml tbi dignified matron who was doing the mor of the talking, I tru-t we are too wel bread to interrupt him, sir." Chicag Tribune. f OXbXPJ) FOR OUT DOOR WORK IM THE "WETTEST WEATHER NOTtllNS EQMAL5 WATERPROOF OILED GARMENTS THEY LOOHWHl-WEAa V.TUL LGXCCfJ4I5-322-322 SUITS 322 A.J.TOWE Co. BOSTON. USX Tower CXnadiam Ca UMrrto -topowto.cah. Two Color Sale Bills Get them Printed at 77us Of ice. They are attractive in design and are printed in colors upon heavy paper. They Arc Something New Prices reasonable. Call and see them. EflDCJIIC My SO acre farm, Manistee lUn CALL Co.. Mich., near cbool and railroad. Abundance of potatoes, fruit and small raln. I- K. Vlnert, 1524 Terry M lb Ira go. 111. TryiO tUAXO Bent and cheapest on I LAnu earth. Write us today for prlct's and description. Don't wait. HcmphrU Kealljr ( s.. Maria, Tfii. If EVI PH LAD Best agricultural and 1.1 LAI ÜU timber land In Kepublic. Vrlce $3.00 per acre. Address Ileary lirahaaa, Cisco, Texas.
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