Plymouth Tribune, Volume 8, Number 13, Plymouth, Marshall County, 31 December 1908 — Page 6

Iii in. I

The Scandal Factories. The rumor manufacturers concerned In the Panama scandal racket have narrowed their charges down to this: lf there was really nothing underoind la the purchase of the canal fights the whole nutter was at leant lublous." And this is all the tangible support they present to back up the accusation. It turns out that many attempts have Dwi made to start a scandal of the ort ever since the zone came under the control of the United States. The flrst to pour forth their innuendos were :h.se who had set their hearts upon the government taking up with the Xleiragua project. It was a grievous disappointment to them that the other ind shorter route was selected. It Is llstory that Senator Morgan never did ret over It until the day oi" his death. Then from time to time there were rerivals of the "story." The New York World lifted it out of the pages of the past for the purpose of confounding the administration during the campaign. The IndianaiKjlis News picked it up beraube it was eager to express Its bitterness over the failure of the party to aame Vice President Fairbanks as the Presidential candidate. It Is too bad that so much fuss should bo made on harges reiterar! by a newspaper .vhlch had only a few days lofore complacently admitted it had lied in the ra. of the Interview with the German Kaiser. William Nelson Cromwell, who arranged the transfer cf the canal from the French owners, says: "I urn also positive that not a man in public life in America, in or out of CJongres, ever had the least iccunlary interest in the Panama Canal. I do aot know and never have known of an merlcan citizen who has ever dealt in my of the shares of the new Panama Zanal Company or the shares or bonds f the old company. A further Instance it the unwarranted attitude of the Inlianapolls News and of other Journals -epeatlcg the statements is furnished lth respect to Mr. C. P. Taft and M. Douglas Robinson. The Introduction of these gentlemen In the Panama affair s like the creation of a character In 1 w:k of .fiction. They did not exist .11 the sense of having any relation to the canal matter." The President's hint that the responilbillty for the falsehoods might be ixed In the courts should be welcomed 5y the country with Jubilation, In particular by those Journals which hold to :ha path of decency iuid honesty In the face of corr.petition the policy of which is mendacity and shamelessness. Toledo Blade. Canada's Wheat Supply, American fanners who have prospered under the protective tariff of the ;ast twelve years, enacted and maintained by the Republican party, should take notice of the fact that a recent report Issued by a leading mercantile tgeney, shows that, while the total ivallable supply of wheat In this country about the close of September was IS.00O.0CO bushels less than at the same "me kurt year, the Canadbn supply was S,r00,COO bushels more than a year This statement indicates the great .mportance of keeping the American narket for the American farmer and f building up the home market, so :hat any lossof foreign demand on account of Canada's Increasing supply jiay be more than offset by the Amerian consumer. One of the great principles of the fiepublican party, as every farmer tnows. Is to build up the home market jnd protect th American farmer and a age earner. The mercantile agency tern quoted above proves what a Democratic tariff revision would mean fcr :he American farmer in putting him at the mercy of Canada and Argentina. Republican revision of the tariff would safeguard the American wage earner from injurious foreign competition. Utulsvllle Herald. . Capitol SpanklnK. Another difficulty about giving the President a rebuke Is that he might not rare to receive It, and then what? Washington Times. Somebody Is almost sure to copllate the situation to a degree still more terrible by daring the teeret service people to tell all they know. Washington Star. Getting Into a controversy with the President la still another hazardous occupation. Detroit Free Press. Something Is very likely to happen ivhen Congress attempts to carry out Us relentless program of slapping President Roosevelt on the wristKansas City Star. Over in England objection Is made to the President's message because it contains too many copy-book maxims. There are critics who find much more jerlous faultu than that In It. Cleveland Plain Dealer. An Aannal Hirt. Although the Rev. Mr. Carter knew that the scRior deacon of bis new hurch was a thrifty New Engländer, he was not entirely prepared for some f the evidences of Deacon (Jetchell's iecullar thrlf;. MI don't know as I falor your exchanging with the Harborville minister more than once lu the tear' aid the deacon, shaking his Lead at Air. Carter's suggestion of a vecond change "I thought you all enjoyed his jreachiig," said the minister, with ptirI rise. "I had understood so." "That's not the point," and the deacon's chin took on the look so familiar hla family and friends. "The point ! that we pay five dollars and twentyive cents more a Sunday fo our pulIt than they do over at Harborville Ho when you go over there It's Ju-t l!e same as making the Ilarborvii.e ihurch a present of that sum, ai.d -. mt I'm saying Is that once a season h enough for us to contribute to their u-.pport. What He .Needed. "Vuu can fee that I am in need, ita'am,' said the husky hobo. "Can't l.u give me n little assistance?" "Certainly," answered the kind lady if she handed him a c?ke of soap. "Here Ls what you iecd." Aft Amended. "F.ipcrience," remarked the thoughtful thinker, "Is worth all we pay for ft" "It would be," rejoined the contrary person, "If we didn't go and run up the same sort of bill again."

TnJUlus In I.arsre Figure. In recent years the idea hi' leon

familiarized that the Failed States is i a billion-dellar country. Within a few days conventions have been held in Washington ,that necessarily discussed questions on this scale, for the ubjecrs in hand relate to waterway, tha conservation of natural resources, and the development of Southern commerce and Industry. These are matters touching the production of th American people and the possibilities of their great domain, which, for the most part, Is in the opening stage of Its utilities. The spirit of the people In taking hold of vast improvements could have no better example than that at Panama, where this country is putting a quarter of a billion Into a short cut for the ships of the world, with a saving of thousands of miles of travel to all races concerned In ocean traffic, and this embraces practically the entire j population of the earth. Americans arc ! 'Vetting their hands in" at Panama. ! With such a start, and valuable ex- 1 per ion et, internal improvements on a suitable general plan are sure to fol low. A notable beginning has leen made in Illinois. The city of Chicago, at its own cost, has completed a strip of ship ' canal. At the recent election the voters of Illinois approved the issue of Sl'O.COO.tXW State bonds to extend the ship canal to the head of navigation on the Illinois River. Thus the first 100 miles of the lakes-to-gulf Channel for ships will be constructed by the State of Illinois and its chief city, without calling on the national treamry for a cent. Rut much more than , inland navigation for seagoing vessels Is pr posed, as Gov. Deneen has Just polled out at one of the Washington conventions, lie explained how the strip of ship caual to be built by the State would furnish water power worth $2,500,000 a year, an income suflicient to wipe out the debt In seventeen years, after which the State will derive ?2,500,000 a year net revenue from this source. ltcyond the acquirement of a ship canal and of water power Is the work of reclaiming 5.00 square miles now under water In Illinois, but easily worth $100,000,000, when drained, for farming purposes. Speaker Cannon, remarks In relation to these great questions of Internal Improvement on a permanent scale: "The expenditures should be safe and sane. We want to be practical, safe and sane, and get our money's worth." The speaker is right in principle. There must be no wild or doubtful ventures. For every dollar spent a dollar's valu-j , should be obtained. Rut the figures are ctrtain to run large from the nature jf the case. Take a few apart from the question of money to be provided. In ' 1900 In this country 217.0H).fXX).0u0 ; tons of freight was carried by the railroads. The cost of transportation by water Is one-fourth that by rail. In the streams of the United States the water power amounts to 230.000,000 horse iowerf of which 2 ier cent Is in service. Floods and soil erosion cost the country $750,000,000 a year. The reclamation of wet lands represents billions. The population of the whole territory under the fla at the next cerrus will be not far from 100.OW.000. Figures are big because the country Is big. St. Louis Globe-Democrat. Demand fur Free Wool f There will probably be the old standing "demand"-for free wool a demand that the tarixT law makers of W granted. It will be remembered, nt the same time reducing the duties on tho manufactures of wool. And the exiorlment cost in the year 1S0(J alone a loss to the United States treasury of $21,OCO.OOO In revenue; a loss to our Ameri can farmers of a market for the eighty million pounds of wool width they raised in 18I2 In excess of what th.?v raised in 18'.HI-07. ns well as nearly 10 cents a pound In the price meaning an aggregate loss to them of nearly $.'0,000,000 a year on this one farm prod uct: and a loss to our manufacturers and their worklngmen of a market not only for the goods that foreign Imports had supplanted, "but also for tho good that the fanners and the masses of the people were able to buy In is:n, but which they could not buy In 18 be cause of a loss of employment and purchasing power: and, as Chairman Dlngiey remarked in Introducing hla bill in 1S07. free wool had been followed by a large Increase in the Im portation of shoddy. New York Com mercial. Never Had Money I'uoash. An Irishman who complained of high prices In the United States, says exGovernor Ladd of Rhode Island, was asked: "Why do you stay here? Why not go back to Ireland, where every thing Is chMiiJcrV Ills reply was: Oh, at home I could not earn money to buy cheaper goods." Similarly as Englishman commented unfavorably on the higher cost here of the better grades of weiring apparel. "Why," said he, "at home I could buy a dress suit for half the money." "Rut was the suit as good ns that which you pay double for in this country?" "I don't know whether It was or not," was th frank reply. MI never had money en rngb over there to buy a dress suit." Those who abuse protection because of higL prices might learn something from these two Incidents. Of More Im port a nee. "And now that you are of age," said the anxious father, "I want to give you a few pointers on how to keep money." "Say, dad," rejoined the sou of his father, "hadn't you better begin by giving me a few pointers on-how tc get it?" Not Prouitttlnir. "He said he felt greatly encouraged because you turned the gas down low when he was calling on you." "Well, he needn't feel encouraged. It take3 a dark man to develop a negative, you know." Philadelphia Press. III Station. "What was your station in life bef.n you teeaine a wanderer?" asked tin kind old soul. "I fergit what it wuz,"-tin-wend tin husky holo, but now it's d. puli' sta tion most uv th time." IIIm Idea of Tri I i : I j Tom Well, well. i.J that your hat? His Sister Oh, it h is to b tri.ni.i.sl you goose. TomToo large, h? Tli- Cttholl; Standard and limes. Involution. Klderly Uncle Dot tie, how do you like the little story book I sent 'jot last week? Dottle (aged 7) Uncle Rufus, K'l I auk. They don't marry.

Sext MlKtres of tho White House. The next mistress of the White House Is as averse as la Mrs. Rooscvelt to thrusting herself forward into public notice. Her lot as wife and mother is a proud and happy one, and her ambitions are ail for her husband and children. The only lines in her face," says one writer, "are the relics of habitual smiles." Life lias been good tc her. and the world a good place to liv- in. She, as well as her husband, has 1 opt young, clear-eyed and She reads much, speaks dear-skinued. French exc?lSA J ft. tu leutly, is passionately fond of good music and Is a fine entertainer, though not in a lavish and sensational way. Hallte Erminie Rives says of her: "William Taft and Helen Ilerron must have started life even. She has the same straightforwardness, the sain-? honesty, the contempt of tinsel and sham and pretense. Her worst enemy, if she could have one, would call her 'genuine.' She has no affectations, no surface veneer, 20 'isms.' She has always remained the sweetheart of her husband ; the playmate and confidant of her, children. In the best sense, sh; Is a woman of the world. She knows the big business of statecraft and the smaller dicta of society. Ry reading and studying she has kept pace with her husband, till, iossIb!y, Here Is no woman In American life who Is better qualified to discuss the real questions of the day." Current Literature. The Chattering Woman. Many offshoots of the suffragette movement are found In England, and one of the most amusing Is a campaign against the wife who jM'sters her husband about tritles in the household. Many leaders In the suffragette cause assert wives must talk politics. Instead of household cares, with their husbands. Probably the most Interesting contribution to the discusslou has come from Canon Horsley of London, who says there are three classes of "chattering women." all responsible for many evils. "First of all, there la the woman who has no sense of pro.ortion." says the analytical canon. "She chatters away about Insignificant little things. This kind of woman lu the upler classes drhes her husband to the club. Among the poor she drives her husband to drink. The second chattering woman Is the wife who harps away on one string. Here again th husband goes to the club or to the bar. The tidrd class of chattering women 13 the one who cannot express herself with directness. She wanders from one point to another, and it Is impossible to bring her back to the main topic. The husband is lucky who is not driven by her to insanity." There is truth in what the canon says, but he does not point out a remedy. It Is significant, too. that not one engaged In the dis.-usslon has prcscriled a plan for the muzzling of the chattering woman. Evidently In that resiect she I, looked upon as beyond reform. DAM 6K Most of the skirts are long, narrow and hlgh-w'aisttd. The fashion of bloomers for the small girl is an increasingly popular one. BlooineV petticoats have consldeiable favor because of the closeness of the skirts. The lace coat figures as a pat of many of the dressy frocks of this season. An Important feature this winter Is the knitted vest. It is being done in all colors. Schoolgirls are showing a decided In clination for plaids. Some of them are quite chic. An entire crewn representing a great rose Is one of the novelties encounteied among hats. Rralded cheviot and serge have re tained their popularity for separate coats and suits. There has been some change iu the calling cards of women. In shape they are almost square. Sleeves now reach to the wrist and show the shape of the arm with semetimes unflattering faithfulness. The majority of the hats worn this season are of dark color. Some of the shapes are wonderful to behold Furs In the fashionable taupe and London smoke shade are being shown. made possible by dyeing white fox Dainty evening dresses are made of silk Krüssels net dyed In the evening colors and trimmed with satin to match Fish nets continue to be much -ishI for blouses and any beautiful models are made over a ehlffou cloth or mous eline lining. Tosca nets when embroidered In pastel colors are very rich for entir. waists. The embroidery need not t. very elaborate. Directolre embroidery Uounclngs arj the latest Ofty-four Inches wide, to permit the making of the long, clinin

1 pf&sr n

1 w

r "-vs.

. 1

underskirts necessary for present dress skirts. The variation of the usual plerrot ruff Is one composed of white and gray maline, from the collar of which spring minute tails of brown fur. The deep, narrow yoke is an insistent feature of this season's modes and is in perfect harmony with the tendency toward tall, slender effects. In this day of slashed skirts and pettlcoatless ankles both slippers and stockings have assumed a place of luxury and importance undreamed of in other times. The fashionable coat is long, form revealing, but not tight fitting, hipless in effect, with small sleeves and some touch lu the form of button or rovers to suggest the d I recto I re. Crystal beadwork Is found upon very dressy evening frocks, but the style is not so well received as satin flower decorations. Persian bandings ara used under slashed waist seams. A reaction is already setting In against the much-trimmed tailored suit. The cut Is still In the hipless effect, but trimmings are omitted, the collar is mannish and the sleeves ..uggestive of those of a man's coat.

A Pnzsllnff Qneatlon. "What is going to become of all the unmarried business women wnen they are too old to work?" was the rather startling question propounded at n meeting of a woman's club In New York. "A business man, member of a leading publishing Louse, said to tue: 'Have you ever noticed what a lot of rice old maids there are In our employ? What will finally become of them?' "These women are nice.' They are usually In receipt of a good salary, but they haven't saved anything. Improvident? No, not necessarily. "They live in accordance with the American standard of living, and they can afford to live in that way with the money they earn, besides It Is required of a woman in a good position to dress well. If they were saviug. 'provident' you would call It, how could they save, at the best, enough to secure them from want for the rest of their natural lives? Their business useful ncss ends at 00 years of age, say. Some firms generously jcnsion women worn out in their employ, but these are few. Something will have to be done to meet this emergency. Proud, Independent, superior as, tney are and so many of them !" "There should le a day for thinking about marriage," suggested a member of the club. "Just as there are Labor day and Memorial day aud others. Men in the cities are too busy, th?lr lives are too strenuous to think alwmt marriape. If there was a day tm apart for thinking about It and a parade of ail the nice men and women, who would In that way see each other In tinlight of candidates for matrimony, something might come of it. and this growing celibacy be put a stop to which threat ens to depopulate tho world, and these line women would not then be left to a lonely dependent old age." "This question Is not one to Ik? treated with levity," remarked the first speaker with n frown. "It has not ob truded Itself t pori the students of so cial economy as it will do. Spinster tot d was never so general before as It s becoming. Just run jour mind over he women of this class whom you iUOW. 'Mark my words, this question Is bound to become the foremost social and economic question of the next ten A "White Cloaet. It was a sensible woman who had the arge closet under the hall stairs pav cred in white and the floor covered with white oilcloth. On the wall wen Lung black Iron dress hooks, which cculd easily be found, and the most con venlent article In it was an electric Ight bulb on a long cord, which could e taken In hand when looking for boxes packed under the lower stair steps. These boxes were all white, the nature of the contents being shown by a printed label across one end In black etters. Over the door was hung an old Krtiere, which was hidden by the closet door, but it kept out considerable dust The shelves were painted white and the books that were stored away were all wrapped neaty in white paper and packed In boxes. Gneat and Hoit. To one who Is In the role of host there can be no more bitter rebuke than to have any guest, or even chance caller, go out from the portals with the feeling that he is sorry he came that he Is depressed rather than uplifted. saddened rather than gladdened, and in n mood of discord rather than Larmony. For all personal association should leave behind It a lingering charm, ns of something sweet aud gracious. When a meeting does not uo this some one is to blame. Dl Hat for a Child. Youngsters are wearing Immense hats this winter in kctping with the fashion for grownups. The one in the sketch shows the fashionable size and shape. It Is of soft chamois-colored felt, trimmed with a crown band of black satin. width has a streamer and tassel at thj left side. eTV AVomnn In China. China is beginning to have Its taihl excitement over women's rights. In Canton a strong Idea of emancipation Las taken hold cf the Chinese women.

Fwm

They are running away lu Increasing numbers from their homes and husbands, and if the police try to make them return to their duties of hearth and home, they refuse to return to slavery, as they call It. The poor husbands base their claims for the return of their lawful spouses on the plea that, after all, they have bought them and paid for them, and therefore, as their goods and chattels, the wives had no shadow of claim on their liberty. Don't eat your 'meals quickly; this causes indigestion aud a red nose. If people laughed more they would all be happier, healthier and handsomer. Too heavy bedclothes are often the cause of that tired feeling In the morning. Don't expect tonics to keep you well if you neglect the laws of health and hygiene. For unbroken chilblains rubbing with damp salt Is one of the best remedies known. Xcver cat your meals in the 6iclc room. It annoys the patient and is not wholesome for you. A small onion eaten raw before retiring will often result In a restful sleep, as onions are excellent nerve soothers. When using hair tonic part hair In strands and apply with toothbrush. In that way one can get at roots of hair and scalp without a particle of waste. When the hands get hot and uncomfortable moist it is a good idea to wash them In hot water and then rinse them In tepid water to which a dessert spoonful of borax has leen added. The perfect feminine face should measure exactly five times the width of an eye across the cheekbones. The eye should be exactly two-thirds the width of the mouth, and the length of the ear exactly twice that of the eye. The space between the eyes should be exactly the length of one eye. Xavy Rlue Broadcloth. New colors may .onie and go, but there Is nothing to eclipse the tried aud satisfactory navy blue. One always looks well dressed In a suit of this color and there Is nothing more serviceable. Above model suggests a charming design for a gown of navy blue chiffon broadcloth cleverly designed and simply trimmed with black buttons and simulated buttonholes done In black soutache. The little round yoke and stock are heavy ecru lace and on either side of bodice there Is a braided design In black soutache. Women "Who Are Happily Weddea. A German doctor lays it down as a well established fact, based on close observation, that women who do not marry unül 3T or thereabout invariably achieve matrimonial success. Why women of this particular asx should make more successful marriage? than those who fall victims to love's young dream Is fairly obvious. When a woman marries between 30 and 40 she cither does io for companionship, choosing her mate accordingly, or fron? need. In which she also chooses with a certain amount of care. She has no wild dreams of unalloyed bliss. riaclntf Oatrlch Feather. The quills of plumage do not show this season. Recause of the fondness for marabou, the plumes now start off rimn a little bed of It. The marabou is made into a fluffy rosette and Is laid all over the quill part of the feather, it U a. eood trick and one that should be followed. Don't DIte Thread. Whenever you start to bite off a piece ; of thread remember that It scrapes the enamel off, which exposes the nerve and causes suffering, which results la a siege at the dentist's and means a j big bill to pay. All this Is a heavy jkmialty, self-imposed, for a moment's thoughtlessness. And Will She? . Was It not a Grecli philosopher whe said that obedience Is the mother of success? Yet among the "new" womeu there Is many a bride who would rather risk tho success than pledge hersell to oley her hrs'jand, as she Is tiow ccnqielled to do. To Clean Curtain Hook, To clean curtain hooks, place them in water in which a little ammonia has been dissolved, and leave them foi little while. This will remove both dirt and rust. When wiped with a dean cloth, the pins will fasten lntc the curtain as easily as new ones.

IM

HJtfl LECTURE AND HEB HAT.

The President of the Locsil SocietyWanted Something; Klexant. Jacob Riis has recently related the jptlmistle, If not wholly flattering, remark of an old farmer who had Just learned that the unassuming gentleman before him was also the distlnguisheJ speaker to whom he was to listen that evening. "Well," he reflected, "you can't nlways tell by looking at a toad how far he can Jump." A woman who has lectured much In public was also not long ago made aware that her appearance did not satisfy the Ideals of one prospective hearer the president of the rural woman's club she w as to address. As they chatted in the dressing room, It was evident she had something on her mind. "This Is the most important meeting we've ever held," she confided, at last, nervously. "The hall Is decorated, and there will be a great many out-of-town guests, and we've Just set our hearts on having everything really elegant and correct. Would you your dress Is so very simple and no touch of color and j-ou'll be the center of everything up there on the platform. "Of course that little gray toune Is pretty, but three teats off nobody could more than tell It from your hair. Would you mind putting on something a little more effective? I'm sure that any ot the committee would . be glad to lend their hats, but Miss Jones has a beauty, with chrysanthemums that happen tc match the decorations. If you would be kind enough " Rut the distinguished lecturer really ct uld not be kind enough, especially af ter Miss Jones and' her huge yellowflowered atrocity were pointed out to her. As considerately as possible she refused, even confessing, to soothe the president's feelings, that the despised gray toque ought to be "elegant and cor rect," even if It were not, since she had paid a price she was a little ashamed ol for it ct a famous Paris milliuer's. She had the humorous delight of seeing this Information passed In thrilling whispers from Hp to lip In the social hour following the lecture, and of notIll? V.io respectful, not to say awed glances lestowed 011 her modest headgear as the news spread. At the guest-ulght meeting of anothei club, It chanced that this same lady arrived rather late before her presence was required, but after the session had opened. In the anteroom she found a little woman fluttering about In such a state of obvious 'distress and expectancy that she thought her possibly some member of the committee In charge, to whom word of her arrival had not been given. "I hope it is not the tardiness of your lecturer that disturbs you," she began. "Lecturer!" cried the distracted little woman, wildly. "I don't care If the lecturer's In Kamschatia and stays there. It's a great deal worse than the lecturer the Ice cream hasn't come." Youth's Companion. AN OXFORD MAN OF SCIENCE. 1 "PreselentRic science" is the term that has been applied to the awukenlug of interest In geological and other matters lu the early years of the nineteenth century. In a book entitled "Reminiscences of Oxford," the Rev. W. Tuckwell describes some of the eajrer work of Ruckland, the Rrltlsh geologist aud clergyman, later Dean' of Westminster, whose scientific lectures aud writings attracted much attention hostile as well as friendly at the time. Without the moral and iutf4'lectual support of his wife, Ruckland "would not so lightly and so confidently have faced the difficulties and achieved his alms. An accomplished mineralogist before their marriage, she threw her whole heart luto her husband's work. She deciphered his horribly Illegible papers, ofteu adding polish . to their style; and her skillful fingers Illustrated many of his books. Night after night, while his "Rridgewater Treatises" his important contribution on geology and mine.ulogy was In making, she sat up writing from his dictation till the morning sun shoue through the shutters. From her came the first suggestion as to the true character of the lias coprolltes, a puzzling kind of fossil stone. ' When, at 2 o'clock In the morning, tho idea flashed upon him that the footprints of the Chelrotherlum since i found to Ih; a large four-footed animal were tortolse-like, he woke his wife from sleep. She hastened down to make dough upon the kitchen table, while he fetched in a tortoise from the garden; and the pair soon saw with Joint delight that Its Impressions on the paste were almost Identical with those upon the slabs. Cbeerfolneas In Adversity. It is comparatively easy to be pleasant and cheerful when our bread-and-butter problem is solved, when we are strong and healthy, when we have harmonious, comfortable homes and money In the bank; but the test of character comes wheu there Is a family to support, when a wife aud little ones are looking to us for bread and clothing, and the wolf Is pretty near the door; when we are struggling against poor health, a discordant home, a dishonest partner. It is a very difficult thing to be cheerful and hopeful when a man Is out of a Job, with uo money iu tho bank, and an invalid wife aud children depending upon him. It Is comparatively easy to te optimist P. when the granary is full, when there are no clouds on tie horizon, but a very difficult thing to be hopeful and cheerful when the capital Is small and business poor. It is hard to U ontlmlstlc when notes and bills an ; coming due and there Is no money t I 1.1 it. . pay Tor goous wuicn ne unsoia on iu shelves. It Is easy to smile when we are well and everything is coming our way, bu when everything goes wrone with us, when undergoing misfortunes or hardships, when those near to us are slel and in distress, when poverty pinche when the flour is getting low In tha barrel, and hungry children look longt Ingly Into one's face, then It Is not so easy to smile, to give the ccrdial handshake, to be serene, balanced, and poised. Rut this Is Just the time that real character, that line training, will stand one In good stead. Orison Swett Marden, in Success Magazine. Men of Yesterday nnd To-Day. In our great-grandfather's young days a man was usually not only consiciered, but really was, elderly at 40. old at 50 and a gouty, flaunel swathed wreck at CO. Londoa Throne and Country. One way to keep your credit good la to pay your debts promptly.

Hot Thcj- Don't Speak. They stood at the hot chocolate counter. "Ton should have seen that hand some- policeman help me over the crowded street this morning," boasted the one with the blue plumes. "I did," responded her Jealous rival. "Well, It is not every one that can receive, so much attention from a handseme policeman 'while crossing the street." "Xo, Indeed. And you should have heard what he said after you were safely over." "Ah, a pretty compliment, IH wager? "Xo, he said he gave you just as much attention as if you had been young aud good looking." The Retort Courteous. She is a teacher in one cf our high schools and she had been Invited by the mother of one of her pupils to attend a large reception given by a fraternal society. The mother is one of those dear old women who Just can't help being patronizing. In Introducing her friend to a young man, she said: "Mr. , allow me to introduce Miss , who teaches my Willie." 'And what Is the gentleman's business, please?" interjected the school teacher. Not Wholly In Vain. Uncle Allen Sparks was returning gloomily from the funeral of an acquaintance. "Well." he said, brightening visibly after a period of profound thought, "his life was a useful one, after all. He onco planted a tree." Chicago Tribune. I'he Correct Charge. "What Is this poor fellow charged with?" "Attempted suicide, yer Honor," replied tha bulky officer. "Explain the case." "Yer Honor, he wanted to fight me." Town Topics. A Doable Drrak. Wife I saw Mr. Chacer this afternoon, and he looks pretty bad.v What'a the matter with him, do yon know? Hubby Coiniouud fracture. Wife What sort of a compound fracture? Hubby He's broke, and Miss Doughbag, discovering that fact, broke ber engagement. Different Now. "I tell you what," said the old maid, "they make love much faster than they used to In my day." "Yes," replied the sweet young thing, "in your day it was a rented horse and buggy; now It's a mortgaged, fortyhorsepower, mlle-a-mlnute touring car." Detroit Free Tress. Wiiil (m of Experience. "What man has done man can do," remarked the party with the quotation habit. "Yes," rejoined the benedict, with an open-faced sigh, "but It's never half as much as his wife exacts him to do." Connotation. Mrs. Xewed (ty bride months) Tom seems to be different since our marriage. Mrs. Oldwed Oh, don't of three somewhat let that worry you. indifferent ! A year from now he'll be He Traveled Lieht. "That hall room boarder moved today." "I didn't see any trunk go out." "There was none. I guess he placed his effects In an envelope and mailed 'em to the new address." Kansas City Journal. Ahead of the Game. Hyker I attended a successful sleight-of-hand performance last night. Pyker So? Hyker Yes. I lent the conjurer a counterfeit dollar and he gave me back a good cue. The Ileal Thins. Little Willie Suy, pa. what Is persistency? Pa It Is the trait a woman displays when she attempts to remove a wrinkle, my son." Information. Motorcyclist (In Drearyhurst) What road would you advise me to take to get out of here? T.'wle Welby (Josh See that foot- ! path leadin' to the top of the hill 'bout 1 half a mile away, mister? Well, ride Up to the tp of it and then keep goin'. ( There's a stone quarry a hundred foot , üCcn at the bottom. Corrected. Stranger They say she's worth barrels of money. The Ol her It's a confounded He. She's my wife. Eye All Around. Tearl It was awful, dear, awful I Kuby What? Pearl Why, so many young, men pass up our street in the evening, I told Jack to whistle "I've Got My Eye cn You" when he was a block away. Ituby Gracious, and did he? Tearl Yes, and then I found the whole neighborhood had their eyes on him. Xew Variety. "You have deceived me," growled the man who had bought a bungalow In the 'suburbs. "How so, sir?" asked the oily torgued real estate agent. "Why, wheu we were negotiating you srdd there were r.o common gossips In this neighborhood." "And I Fpoke the truth, sir. They

are all uncommon. Yon couldn't find their equal In seven states." Xol What He Wanted. "I trust we shall make you feci quite at home," remarked the hotel proprietor. "Don't yen' try It," expostulated the married man. "I'm away from It to have a Jolly good time." Rystander.

What Willie Sair. When Willie saw a peacock for th first time he said to hla mother: "Oh, mamma, you should have seen It! Electric lights all over the ferns and a turkey underneath." The Delineator. Teacher Willie, what Is the feminine corresponding to the masculine "stag"? Willie Afternoon tea. Soncttlre. Stubb What's the trouble with th. writer's husband? He looks angry enough to chow tacks. Renn And he Is. She dedicated hei latest book to him. Stubb Gracious I I should consldei that a compliment Penn Xot If you kn?w th title of the book. It Is "Wild Animals I Have Met." ' An Exception. "How good It Is' to hear the all All's well!'" said the stranger la tht small town. "Not for me," responded the vaU man in the big black coat "And why not for you?' "Because 1 am the town's pbysictam, stranger." He Strack Oat. Jagreen I saw you talking to Borrows on the street this morning. Bllbrown Yes. Jagreen Did he str:i.e you tot a loan? Bllbrown Xot exactly. He Strock at me, but never touched me. Too Mach for Hin. Giles The man who makes tbos moving pictures bumped up against hbj first failure to-day. Miles How was that? Giles He tried to make a movlnj picture of two men playing a game f chess. Wonld Convince Aajr Jury, Judge You have not yet established the prisoner's Insanity Attorney But. your honor, we mean t Introduce witnesses to show that the prisoner habitually argues politics with wot len. Peek. In the Shop. The lady had looked at about twenty trunks without finding one to her sat Isfactlon. At length the salesman ujgested that If she could give him an klea of what she had In mind be might be able to suit her. "I want." said the lady Impressively, "a smaller trunk than this, but on that holds more." Xew York Herald. Always Had It. Curious friend Mr. Henpeck has your wife made her will? .Meek spouse Xo, madam; she was bom with It ready made. Baltimore American. Awful. Old I-idy My little lad. do you smoke cigarettes? Boy Xo; but I can give yer a caew of tobacco. THE DEMAND FOB FALSE ttatti Twenty-eljtht Ton Sold In Chleasa Alone Lat Year. Twenty-eight tons of false hair havt tvn sold in the city of Chicago Ion in the last year. So great Las teen the demand for false hair throughout the country that the price has doubled. The girls who get Into such terrible financial straits that It becomes a question of parting with their hair or starving, arc able to demand a goed stun for their sacrifice. The manager of a large Chicago halrdrcsslug establishment wild recently: A girl will not sell her hair ntll it becomes absolutely neccssarj. In fact, it usually becomes a question parting with her crowu of glory or starvation. Of course, we only buy t ue hcjds of hair, and the girl who is blessed with long, lovely tresses usually refuses to part with them If there is any possible way to avoid it. Her hair gUierally Is her chief charm, ad she knows that when he loses that fhe loses most of her attractlveueM. "But there are really many c,lrl who come In from the country to look for JoLf who, when they cannot find any work, make up their minds to ad! tbelr hair. Many a time a gtrl na come Into our shop with her eye dim with tears and with her under Up trembling pathetically aud asked with a choked voice If we buy hair. When we reply In the affirmative she seta bei chin iirmly and manages in some waj to tell us that she wishes to sell ei hair. "Sometimes even after we hav made all the preparations to clip It the sacrlflce suddenly seems too great tc ! bear, and they go away saying thai I they will try once more to get some thing to do before they finally decide Others remain firm nnd bolster up r ,.t. 1 ,1. 1 the money will keep the vlf from th widowed mother's doorr a long tlmt to come, cr that It will help to fed Tommy, Billy and Henry, -,vho eceir so much like young robins, with th?Ii mouths always wide open, until fathei Is able to r;ct some work." A woman can get even vith a mat by marryiug him or by relusias t ( do to.

An X.tto-Dat Aatvrer.