Plymouth Tribune, Volume 7, Number 5, Plymouth, Marshall County, 7 November 1907 — Page 6

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Btlehljrai rrotretlonUm. Michigan leads off with two delegates to the national Republican convention f 1008 favorable to the candidacy of lion. Joseph C. Cannon. The convention of the Eighth Congressional District was held at Owosso, and resulted In the election of Congressman J. W. Fordney and E. O. Davey as delegates. The resolutions adopted approve the administration of President Roosevelt and urge the nomination ot a Presidential candidate "who will earnestly carry out the work so nobly begun by the President and his administration. Other resolutions were as follows : Resolved, That we adhere strictly to the policy of protection to American labor and capital. We believe unlawful combinations of capital and rapacious trusts can and should be regulated by law, and we therefore doubt the expediency of reducing prevailing tariff schedules. Tariff revision usually promotes disaster by affording the manufacturers o cheaply raade foreign products an opportunity to unload their surplus stock upon the American market and thus throttle our home industries io the inestimable disadvantage of American enterprise and labor. Inasmuch as the Cuban reciprocity law, enacted by Congress some three years ago, has continuously worked to the dlsadvantas? of this country, we believe the repeal of thi law would be in harmony with sound business judgment. We oppose further reduction of the tariff rates on imports from the Philippine Islands. This government has been and is now treating the natives of those islands with marvelous ! berality, and is refunding to the Filipino government all duties collected upon goods from Filipino ports. Wv hold that further concessions mill prove harmful to home agriculturists nd wage earners, because of the enormous discrepancy between the rates of wages here and there. We heartily commend our Congressman, Joseph W. Fordney. for efficient efforts in behalf of hi3 constituents. In view of the reiterated refusals of President Roosevelt to permit the use of his name in connection with the next presidential nomination for that lush office, we recommend to the delegates elected by this convention the Hon. Joseph G. Cannon of Illinois, who has so ably supported the policies of President Roosevelt. Live lame. The rx-ople are much more interested la questions of corporate abuses and combinations of predatory wealth for self-enrichment at the general expense than they are in tariff revision, and any attempt to supersede the former with the latter will end in failure. Issues are not made; they grow out of events. The public mind is now fixed on the evils which have grown up with the development of great combinations and on the measures which nauit be taken for their suppression cr amelioration, and It will not be diverted by the threadbare discussion of tariff revision. That will come in due time as a part of a progressive course of administration ; but the live issues will be those on which the public thought has been concentrated for the last three or four years. Price and Wage. A report just issued by the Department of Commerce and Labor showv that wages during 100G Increased more than prices. This I. not hard to believe when we cons der the large increase In savings throughout the country. The standard of living, too, ndTances steadily, particularly among the wag earning class. And therein is the real gain, a gain peculiar to this country. The rise in prices of commodities has been worldwide during tho past few years. But the advance In wages abroad, where there have been advances, has not by any means equalled the advance in prices, as has been the case in the Urited States. Here is an economical and statistical fact that the tariff revisionists might analyze with care. American Economist. Let "Well Enoach Alone. The success of the Republicanarty beginning with the election of Vrriam McKinley was the result of the deeided stand taken by the leaders In the Interest of Protection. The prosperity of the country to-day Is due to the development of American industries guarded by a Protective Tariff. The rank and file of the Republican party are content to "let well enough alone, and the vote at the coming Presidential election will undoubtedly demonstrate that a good many Democrats about the United States are of the same opinion. Scranton Tribune. Father' Assistance. Tom I don't see how Fred ever mustered up sufficient courage to propose; he's- so bashful, you know. Jack The girl's father helped him along, I believe. Tom Sort of paved the way, did he? Jack Well, he didn't exactly pave the way, but he furnished the rocks. Poor Squirrels. &kesmith When I find my de too stuffy I go out Into the woods and write Jokes. Critic Indeed! Aren't you afraid the ru Irrels tvII! steal then: from you? Jokesmlth Squirrels? Critic Yes; you know they gather all the stale chestnuts they can find. Price No Indication. "What Is your wife's new fall hat worth?" About 43 cents." "Is It possible you could buy a hat .like that for the rnoney?" Certainly not I thought you asked what It was worth. The price, I be lieve, was $12." Had Matrimonial Look. First Hobo (reading advertisement) Man wanted to chop wood, bring up coaL tend furnace, take care of garden. mind chickens and children " His Pal ( groaning) Gee, dem matrimonial advertisements make me tired ' Not tbe Same. Did you and your wife do much row ing at the seashore?" That's the way It Is spelled, but It Is pronounced different" Ilouston Post . " In Style. "Shall I raise your umbrella, little Cirir "No, sir; It don't raise. I only car ries it f er show I" Crown Prince Gustavus of Sweden recently cut off his private stables to correct a "deficit of $125,000 In his ffcstet

An Expert Diagnosis. Wall Street may wall and specula tors may take the most pessimistic view imaginable regarding our future, financial and Industrial status, but tho great producers cannot be stampeded. There could be no better authority than Willis L. Klug, vice president of the Jones & Laughlin Steel Company, one of the largest of the Independent concerns. Mr. King says very terseThere are only three things that should, In my opinion, affect adversely the progress of this country famine, pestilence and free trade. We can safely trust the first two to Providence, and I hope the Republican party will continue to look after the third." He adds that the West does not share in the pessimism of a portion of the Eastern press; that conditions do not warrant alarm, but simply "admonish thoughtful men that the tremendous expansion of the past few years must rest until the flnancla equilibrium of the country Is re-established.' Mr. King concludes a very optimistic declaration with the following: "The country is certainly richer than it was a year or even three months ago. The farmers have harvested a seven billion dollar crop, and the mines have added many millions to our wealth. It is the part of wisdom, therefore, to await the future with confidence, and not be carried away by a fear of something that Is not at all likely to happen.". The positive opinion of men like Mr. King Is worth far more than the vaporizing of certain editors who have no pract'ral knowledge of real conditions. Air.ir.can Economist.

AVliy The Cincinnati Enquirer does not believe In putting off until to-morrow what should be done to-day. While not insisting that tarilf disturbance is the burning need of the hour, it logically urges that if revision Is needed two years hence it is needed now: "The principle of the tariff Is the same now that it will be eighteen months or two years hence. If it is wrong now the simple and perhaps the straightforward thing to do would be to commence the overhauling of the schedules at the first opportunity, which will be on the first Monday of December next." Equally logical is the plea that If tariff revision is not needed now it may not be needed two years from now, and hence there is no jccasion for setting a date. Why promise for 1900 a thing which the country dreads and does not want in 1907? American Economist. It Would He a Crime. "The great masses are not talking politics now. They are busy. Their ambition Is to see that nothing is done to make them idle ; to contribute In any honorable way to giving each man the full reward for the work of his head and hands. This country is very prosperous. There is the old state of uneasiness in Wall street, but Wall street should look Into the country where the factories and the forges are going; where the farmers are harvesting their crops and sending them to market; where well paid men are putting forta enormous production for our domestic markets, and for the markets of the world. It would be a crime If Congress should do anything at this time to upset business." Joseph G. Cannon. Equally Weighty. The cry of "the tariff is the mother of the trusts," takes the place of the old Democratic cry of "The tariff Is a tax," and is just about as weighty an argument. Probably one of the most gigantic trusts in this country to-day is the Sugar Trust and it was formed when the Wilson-Gorman tariff law (a free trade measure) was in force. True, removal of the tariff duties on foreign made goods would kill the trusts In this country, but how? American man ufacturers would in time be forced out of business entirely, and there would be nothing of which to form trusts. Trust regulation Is the only remedy for bad trusts, and the Roosevelt administration has made a most excellent start in that direction, and the end Is not yet Tiffin (Ohio) Tribune. Are Already on the Free Llat. The Washington "Democrat" Is much worried about the tariff on print paper. If ths duty was removed It Is not likely that the price would be affected in the least, for there is no place from where print couid be imported where the freight rates would not be prohibitive. Not long ago the "Democrat" wanted the tariff removed from logs, out of which wood pulp Is manufactured, and now a number of more pretentious papers are talking the same thing. The joke of it is pulp logs now are admitted free. Iowa City Republican. He not Ilia. "Pa," said Tcomy, "I smoked your pipe to-day." "What!" exclaimed his pa. "You said it would make me sick, but it didn't." "You misunderstood me, my son. I said I'd make you sick. Iland me that strap." Philadelphia Press. Appropriate "Ma, didn't the heathens have a god for everything?" "Yes, my child." "Well, who was the god that ruled over kitchens?" "I don't just remember, but I think it was tbi great god Pan." Baltimore American. Too Familiar. "Now, my dear sir, I want you to forget all about the annoyances of your office while you are at this water resort." "Then, doctor, you will have to get them to remove these whistling buoys." Baltimore American. The Difference. "Men are so queer. Tell them aftet the honeymoon that your love Is growing cold and they never glance up from the paper." "No; but tell them the soup Is getting cold and they jump about ten feet" Detroit News. Ity tbe Roadside. Seldom Fedde Lcary Walker never sleeps no more. Slten Doze Wot's de matter? Seldom Fedde Afraid ' he'll dream dat he's workln'. A Fellow Feelln. De Quiz Do you - know anything about yachts? De Whiz No more than I do about golf. " De' .alz 'Shake. A square foot ' of a Persian rug means twenty-three days work for the weaver.'

OPINIONS OF GREAT PAPERS ON IMPORTANT SUBJECTS

CLANDESTINE MABBIAGES.

I ITH what seems to be creatly Increased fre-

A T I quency, the newspapers of all parts of the ff I country report "clandestine marriages,"

runaway uiaiciirs, mi i mum, civiiwuv-i-i and "impromptu weddings." This class of news Is almost always treated lightly, as if the whole affair was a huge

joke. There are Jesting remarks about the astonishment of friends of the young couple, and Jocular speculations as to whether or not papa and mamma will forgive thexn. Usually there are pictures of the bridal pair. To a sensitive nature the bandying about of the most serious and sacred event in life must, in itself, be repugnant But it is not this alone, nor the unpleasant gossip that follows, which makes a runaway or clandestine marriage a thing to be avoided. Such marriages are often but the impulse of a moment, an irrevocable act committed without proper deliberation. More than this, there are the parents to be considered. Young people can hardly Imagine, much less know, what it means to a father or mother to get the first news of the marriage of a son or daughter from a telegram or the columns of a newspaper. No right-minded child will ever strike such a blow. Neither clergy nor civil officers have' been blameless in this matter. There are cities In both the Eastern and the Western States where young people can be married at any hour and without having to answer too many questions. In almost every large city can be found one or more ministers who smirch their high calling by their readiness to perform the marriage ceremony with complacency for all who apply. Youth's Companion.

HOW BATES MAY BE LOWERED.

HE Texas Farmers' Union asks the Legislature to lower freight rates. Probablv most

i similar bodies the country over would do

them. It has been abundantly demonstrated, however, that nearly all farming communities have it within their own power

materially to lower freight charges. Fractically speaking, no farm produce reaches market without having passed over a common road, and It is scarcely an exaggeration to say that, at the current level of freight rates, the road-haul !s as Important to the fanner as the rail-haul. It has been shown that the 6ame force which will move one ton on a poor earth road will move four tons on a good macadam road. In a horse, as In a locomotive, there ar just so many tonmiles. Team, wagon and driver are simply engine, cars and crew In little. The railroads find it profitable to spend millions yearly in straightening curves and reducing grades in order to get the greatest possible service out of their equipment. The fanner would find the same policy, applied to roads, equally profitable, but often doesn't see It clearly. Respectable authority has opined that to move a ton a

"He's plain Jay," said the young man from the tie counter to the elderly silk clerk. "But how's he getting along?" persisted the silk clerk. "I tried to get him to go up with me to the clothing deportment and get him some clothes that would niika him look human," babbled the young man from the tie counter. "I couldn't, though. He's got money in bank at home, too. Made It plow in' corn an weedln onions, I guess. Ain't he the limit? That bobtailed coat of his gives me nervous prostration. Pinnaker got after him to take a change In a raffle for a diamond ring. It ain't but 50 cents a chance, but he sr id he couldn't afford it and he hadn't any particular use for a diamond ring auyway. He's the tightwad, all right I saw him eating over at Hallowell's restaurant Saturday. I don't know what he ordered, but his check was 13 cents. I was behind him at the cashier's desk. I bet he didn't leave anything with the waiter, either." "How Is he on sales?" asked the elderly silk clerk. "Oh, he grabs, of course. He just Btand3 on his head to wait on a customer and If there's nothing doing he's poking around in the stock as if h. owned It and wanted to make sure ho hadn't been soaked over the quality of the goods." "Catching on, eh?" "Oh, he's catching on In great hape. I guess he'll be asking for a raise la another month." That's what I was asking you," said the silk clerk. "He's been In the city six weeks now tnd he's been to a show twice," said the young man from the t'.s counter. "He said he liked it pretty well, but he was so high up he missed a lot of what was said. Guess he was in the peanut heaven." "Can't you do something with him?" asked the silk clerk, looking severely over his gold-rimmed glasses. "Seems to me you might take him In Jiand evenings and teach him something." "He's too busy," said the young man from the tie counter. "He's learning stenography and typewriting evenmg3. Maybe he thinks they're going to put typewriters In the department tömake out tbe sales checks." "Get after him and liven him up," urged the silk clerk. "Maybe there's the makings of a good fellow Id hhn. Don't give him up without an effort If you keep at him you'll probably re form him yet Can't you teach hhn to play pool for the drinks and smoke cigarettes? Surround him with the right kind of an atmosphere." "Aw, what are you giving me?" said the young man from the tie counter, doubtfully. "I mean what I say, of course, said the elderly silk clerk. "What you want ts to get him to cultivate a taste lor sage-green socks and gaudy stickpins. He seems to have gone to a shov where It mattered If he missed hearlug somethlng. Take him around to some of these musical comedies. Get him interested. Don't let him save hi 3 money foolishly; teach him to throw away some of it every week, if It's ever so little. The habit will grow on him and he'll soon be squandering tarelve dollars and a quarter out of his twe.veflollarsalary with the best of you boys and laying up a decent prov.Ston of debts for a rainy day." The young man from the Vq counter smiled sheepishly. "It's all right for you to laugh," pursued the elderly silk clerk. "It's no laughing matter, though. If you think you can reconcile It with your conscience to stand Idly by and sec a young fellow of ywr own age wallowing m

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DEARTH ARE the mire of Industry,-energy and economy, oi course that's your affair, but It seems to me you ought to try to pull him out" "That's all right, but I'm telling you he's just plain Jay," said the young man from the tie counter. "You stop him before lt3 too late. You'd b?tter," continued the silk clerk. "Wby'd I better?" asked the young man from the tie counter. "Because if you don't" said the elderly clerk, "he's Just as likely as not soon to be your boss and fire you." Chicago Dally News. London, according to the census, has just passed the 7,000,000 mark. Corn and beans are the staple articles of diet of the working classes of Mexico. About 70 per cent of all the camxhor made is used in the manufacture of cellulcd. Allan A. Ryan, son of Thomas F. Ryan, will, it Is said, build a summer home at Suffern, N. Y., to cost $1,000,000. It Is estimated that about 500,000,000 people live In houses, 700,000,000 In huts and caves, and that 250,000,000 have no regular shelter. Of the SOG delegates who, under Conklln's lead, fought like giants for a third term for Grant In the memorable convention of 1SS0, there are still living only seventy-three. Twenty billion pins and five billion buttons were produced by American factories in 1905. The United States also produced In that year 200,000,000 needles, nearly 400,000,000 safety pins and 250,000,000 hairpins. The cantaloupe derives its name from the papal palace Cantalupo, In Ancona, long famous for Its melons. The melons which grow wild In some southern countries lack the luscious flavor of the cultivated melon. Over six hundred specimens of rare Egyptian fossils are being prepared for exhibition, by the experts of the Museum of National History, New York. The specimens are the product of an expedition financed by Morris K. Jessup. A pensioner, age eighty-one, living at Preston, has Just received a medal for meritorious service in the Crimean war. We understand that the reason of the delay was that the War Office doubted the genuineness of the claim, the veteran not being in a workhouse. Punch. A priest has been arrested at A gincourt, on the Franco-Belgian frontier, for smuggling. His luggage was full of cigars, and when he was stripped he was found to be wearing around his body a layer of tobacco and cigars over an inch in thickness. The man was clothed In tobacco, and 2,000 cigars were taken from the layer. The harvest festival was being held in Old Windsor parish church, England, and a verse In the Psalm, "Thou makest darkness and it Is night," had Just been reached, when all the electric lights went out A. number of candles were borrowed from neighboring houses, and theso were fixed upon the pews, so that tho service might be concluded , Tandem. "When we are married I expect to have ten servants." "Yon may have more than that, oue at a time." Houston Post

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mile over the common roads of the country must cost, on an average, 25 cents. If that be so, then It costs the farmer on an average as much to haul a bushel of grain twelve miles to market as the railroads charge him to haul the same bushel a thousand miles, from Chicago to New York. Figure the average haul to market at five miles, or a dollar and a quarter a ton; take the annual marketed quantity of grain, cotton, hay, live stock, dairy products from the Agricultural Department's Year Book and get a rough Idea of what the farmers pay yearly for the roadhaul. Nearly a hundred and fifty years ago, in England, it, was noted that by improved roads the hauling of grain was done with little over half the number of horses formerly used. This subject Is not less Important to the farmer than freight charges, and to deal with It is within bis own power. Saturday Evening Post

OF SMALL BANK BELLS.

COINCIDENT with the publication of the

Comptroller of the Currency's report for September, showing a national bank note circulation outstanding of $G03.0S7,114, comes a report of an impending famine in small bills. This Is a complaint of almost annual occurrence, caused by the necessities

of the crop moving, which makes an unusual demand from interior bankers for bank notes of small denomination. The problem of dealing with tbe harvest requirements has been perplexing, both for bankers and the Washington authorities, more particularly, however in times of great prosperity, when money Is longer retained in the pockets of the people than on other occasions. From the Northwest It is reported that seme harvest hands have been Induced to accept forms of checks or due bills. Some extension of this system under proper restrictions might solve the problem. New York Herald.

SKYSCRAPERS SAFE?

iN commenting upon the Quebec disaster, an

Eastern paper makes some very pertinent remarks upon the safety of the enormous skyscrapers now in course of erection in New York and elsewhere: "If he stress and strain theory must be modified In the case of bridges reaching

certain dimensions, may it not be perilous to go on constructing tall buildings to an indefinite, unlimited height? The twenty-story structure may be safe ; the thirty-story structure may be almost as safe. But when we reach the forty-five-story cr fifty-story skyscraper, who knows but that the building will topple like a house of cards, just as the Quebec bridge fell Into that "terrible pile of scrap," which leaves the whole engineering profession aghast and unnerved?" Food for thought Illustrated Home Journal.

GOOD USE MADE OF SEWAGE. Waste FIott from Paris Turned tc Excellent Account. A German contemporary, in dlscu?s ing methods of utilizing sewage for ag rlculture, gives considerable space tc Berlin's successful enterprise and ther speaks of the Paris venture, a feature of the sewage farm at Acheres, says the Philadelphia Record. The Inhabitants of Paris number over 2,500,000, and tho total flow of sewage is stated to average (In cur terms of measurement) 17,000,000 cubic feet per diem. Thi3 Is collected In Intercepting sewers, which convey it by gravitation down to Cllchy, where it Is raised US feet by powerful pumps and distributed by gravitation through the farm. The pumping engines are capable of Indicating 3,000 horse power. It is stated that experience shows that one acre of suitable soil can take 1,5S0 cubic feet of sewage daily, so that an area of about 11,200 acres would be needed to deal with the whole of the discharge of the Paris sewers. A very high degree of purification Is reached, the eflluent containing fewer bacteria per cubic centimeter than most uncontaminated streams. The land also has been greatly increased In value, being now worth five times a3 much as it was before being made a receptacle for the sewage. As a natural consequence, neighboring land owners who originally had fiercely opposed the establishment of a sewage farm In their midst are now demanding to have the sewage applied to their own farms. The farm at Acheres Is 2,471 acres In extent and is under he control of a civil eng.'neer, who In the main raises beet root, though this crop will admit of much less sewage being passed on to the land than certain others. The main conveying the Eewage from th pumping station is forty-four Inches in diameter, while a secondary system of pipes ranging from thirty-one to sixteen Inches In diameter serves a3 feeders to the Irrigation trenches, Into which the sewage passes through twelve-Inch valves. The ground Is laid out and the Irrigating trenches are so arranged that the only service needed In regulating the flow Is the opening and closing of the regulating valves just mentioned. The crop which can stand the most sewage Is grass, a meadow, It Is stated, being uninjured by a flow of 2,430,000 cubic feet per acre per year; lucerne can take 1,790,000 cubic feet per annum ; artichokes, 593,000 ; flowers, parsley, sorrel, etc., 530,000 cubic feet ; leeks, cabbages and celery, 000, while beetroots, carrots and beets will cake only 197,000, and potatoes, asparagus and peas but 141,000 cubic feet per acre per year. Marder and the Pistol In Georgia. Fifty per cent of the present In mates of the Georgia penal institu tions have been found guilty of homicide in one or another degree. Tae latest report of the Prison Com mission shows that the total number of prisoners who have taken human life is 935. In a single year 213 men wer sent to prison for this crime. How many others escaped punish ment because of the "unwritten law or ether foolish standards of honor In their communities it Is impossible to say. It Is no wonder that newspapers like the Atlanti Constitution are iinplor.Ing for more effective legislation against the carrying of x concealed weapons. It would indeed socni that It was time for Georgia to follow the lead of Texas and take even more rig orous steps against the pistol habit A Failure. "When she gave you the piece of cake, did you say Thank you?' " Tcs, ma, but it didn't do no good." "Didn't do any good?" "No; she didn't give me another piece." Every man knows how , ottar nea ouzht to da things.

MYSTERY OF THE WEEDS.

Stranger Plant Spring Up Unaccountably After Soil Is Tamed. The world Is full of marvels. The farmers of the prairie States have never been able to decide from whence the vced3 come. If they plow up a tract of virgin soil covered with bunch grass and without the sign of a weed and plant it to wheat or corn or any other crop, the commonest kind of weeds appear as promptly as spears of corn or grain, regardless of the care and precautions they may take to plant pure seed. And nobody has ever been able to tell them where the weeds originated. Such vegetation had never appeared In the country before. There Is nothing like It on the surface of the earth nearer than the next plowed land and It Is Impossible for the seeds to have been brought upon the breezes or by flying birds. It is one of the mysteries of nature. Some years ago, when the Missouri, Kansas & Texas Railroad was being built through the Indian Territory, great banks of wild verbenas sprang up suddenly along the right of way where the earth had been disturbed in making grades, cuts and embankments. That flower had never been seen there before and no seed had ever been brought into the country. Nevertheless, wherever the turf was removed and the soli was exposed to the sun and rain, beds of wild verbenas would appear and no botanist has ever been found who is wise enough to solve the mystery. They say that the seeds were already in the soil held down by the thick turf and dry clay but they must have been there for ages without germinating if such a theory Is true. Down on tho coast of Peru It haa never rained but once or twice since the beginning of the world, or at least since that part of the earth's surface ha. been inhabited by human beings. The prevailing winds are from the westward and when they come off the ocean the parched air of the desert Instantly absorbs all the moisture they carry and the clouds dissolve without precipitation.' But in 1837 a wonderful phenom enon appeared. The first rainfall that had ever been known there was followed by the appearance on that desert ol myriads of strange flowers which sprang up in almost a single night. Nc one has been able to explain the floral phenomenon of the Peruvian desert am some of the blossoms which were fortu nately preserved are unlike any flowers that have ever been seen elsewhere. They were evidently prehistoric. W. H Curtis, in Chicago Reccrd-IIerald. UIrd or Dee? Two quaint observations about hum ming birds are published in "Early Long Island," by Martha Flint, both quoted from letters of the seventeenth century, written from the new coun try of America. Says one: "The Ilumbird is one of the wanders of the country, being no bigger. than a Hornet, yet having all the Demensions of a Bird, as bill, wings with quills spider-like legges, small claws. For Colour she is as glorious as the Ralne bow." Adrian Van der Donck, on of the Hollanders of Niew Nederlandt 1c 1G12, writes of a "Curious small bird concerning which there are disputations whether it is a bird or a bee. It seeks its nourishment from flowers like the bee and Is everywhere seen regaling Itself od the flowers. In flying they make a humming noise like the bee. It is only seen In NIeuw Nederlandt In the season of flowers. They are very tender and cannot be kept alive, but we press them between paper and send them as presents to our friends." An Irish Tvrlster. Patsy Begorra, OI couldn't pay me 53 folne and Ol had to go to Jail foi six days. Mike An' how much did yez spend to get drunk? Patsy Oh, 'bout $3. Mike Three dollars? Yez fool, 11 yez had not spent yez $3 for drink yes'd had yer S3 to pay yez folne wid. Harper's Weekly. Loct Time. "Time is precious," remarked the minister. "It is, indeed," replied the man of business, "and I've wasted lots of It" 'By Indulging In foolish pleasures, I juppose," said the good man. No," replied the other. "I lost It by being punctual In keeping my appointments with others.' Easy Enough. Mrs. niram Offen I think we'll gel along, Bridget, if you can only manage not to disobey me. Bridget Faix, we can fix that aisy, mum. If ye'll l'ave me do as I please and don't give me anny orders. Philadelphia Press. All for a Dollar. A man and his bride by the parson wen tied, , And when the performance was done, Said the parson, "Dear me 1" as he looked at the fee, I add one to one and make one." The Catholic Standard and Times. In the Forest. T must spruce up," said Dame Nature, as she took a glance at the woods about her. ; "WelL" returned the West Wind, "you needn't pine to a waste about II with all those new firs." Baltlmow American. Unlacky at Bridge. "Do you believe In this thirteen superstition?" asked Tete de Veau. "I do,", replied L'Oignon. -I could never understand why I was so unlucky at bridge till I discovered that 3 was always dealt a hand of Just tbl teen. Famllyv Ilepartee. "Well," snapped. MrsL Uenpeck, 1 certainly was "a fool when I married you." "True, my dear," responded Ileapeck, "and I regret to state yon haven't Improved any." Detroit Free Press. Still Mourn for tien. Wolfe. One British regiment has been 1b mourning for nearly a century and a half. This Is the old Forty-seventh, the Loyal North Lancaster regiment The offlcers wear black blended wlti blue braid in memory of Gen. Wolfe, who was killed at Quebec A Little Mixed. A Hindoo barrister thus excused at absent client whom sickness had prevented from coming to court: 'Tht man has fallen unwell, your honor, and he has sent a man here to saj that he Is lying and cannot come." What a jolly good thing It would U for undertakers If men, like cats, had nine Uvea.

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v v k I Pattern Department ? UP-TO-DATE DESIGNS FOR g

Fancy Tucked Blonsc. Long lines undoubtedly ac eminently becoming to many figures, and here Is a waist that is daintily charming and which also shows that feature. In the illustration it is made of handkerchief lawn, and there is a simple design embroidered on the spaces between the tucks that simulate box plaits, but the blouse can be treated la varlpus ways. Applied motifs can be substituted for the embroidery or insertion in any width that may be liked can be used instead, or, again, 1 a simpler blouse is desired, the front can l loft plain. In this instance there are little frills of the lawn which are both dainty and smart, but these also are optional and the plain finish can be used if preferred. All the pretty lingerie materials are appropriate for the design, and also the wash silks that are su useful for b tweeu seasons and early autumn. The above pattern will bo mailed to your address on receipt of H cents. Fend all orders to the Pattern IVp.-irt-tivnt of this paper. Be sure to give I. h the number and size of pattern wanted, and write very plainly. For convenience, write your order on the following coupon: Order Coupon. No. r7C. SIZE NAME ADDRESS Hoi Plaited IV&lklne; skirt. Box plaited skirts are always graceful. This one is designed for tin fashionable walking length and U appropriate for almost every skirting material and is adapted loth tu tlu coat suits and the odd skirts. In the illustration it is made of 'white Sicilian mohair stitched with holding silk, but it suits the linen.s and piques and also the wool materials. Again, it can be utilized for pongee and for silk, so that it becomes a very generally useful and serviceable model. The tltched hem is an all sufficient finish, but if liked banding, either of the same or contrasting material, can be applied above it. The skirt is cut In nine gores and is laid in box plaits, the edges of which meet at the upper portion, and which effectually conceai the seams. The plaits are stitched flat over the hips. The above pattern will be mailed to your address on receipt of 10 cents. Send all orders to the Tattern Department of this paper. Be sure to give both the number and size of pattern .vanted, and write very plainly. Order Coupon. Xo. 5700. SIZE NAME ADDRESS Unfamiliar Facts. Only one man In 150,000 takes snuff. The world's annual drink bill is over $3,000,000,000. Suicide is three times more frequent among men than women. There are now In the New York snvings banks $9a3,C31,500. Overeating, physicians say. causes more deaths than overdrinking. The man who pays the least tax usually takes up the most road. London already has 3,000 automobile omnibuses plying In the streets, and that number will soon be doubled. , Skating was tabooed for women in Derlin until the prima donna Henrietta Sontag set the bold example. Those physicians In London who are svilling to be called at night have red lanterns, attached to their houses. Frederick J. Velka. a Baltimore man. has beeu street car driver, gripmaa and motorman for thirty-seven years, and iu all that time has never reported late nor had an accident. There Is only one day In the year . on which the inhabitants of Monte Carlo are allowed to gamble at the Casino tables. That day is the Prince of Monaco's birthday. Great Britain and Canada will join in subsidizing a trans-Atlantic steamship line, which will be a serious rival to the lines plying between tbe United States and Europe. A disabled fireman of Constantinople does not necessarily leave the service afttr his mishap. If his legs and voice are still good he may a.spire to the position of fire-crier.

Ä ?) m- mm rATTEKN" NO. 5702.

' PATTEBX 7iO. r7oG.

ADYICE TO VICTIMS.

TELL3 READERS HOW TO CURE RHEUMATISM AT HOME. Directions to Mix o Simple, namleas Preparation and the D ose to Take Overcomes Kidney und Bladder Trouble Prosiptly. There is so much Rheumatism everywhere that the following advice by an eminent authority, who writes for readers of a large Eastern daily par, will be highly appreciated by those wLi suffer : Get from any good pharmacy onehalf oure Fluid Extract Dandello, one entice Compound Kargoa, tlirce ounces of Compound Syrup Sarsap.irllla. Shake these well Ja a bottle and take in teaspoonful doses after earn meal and at bedtime; alsj driuk plenty of good water. It Is claimed that there are few victims of this dread and torturous disease who will fail to find reaJy relief in this simple home-made mixture, and in most cases a permanent cure is tli result This simple recipe Is said to strengthen and cleanse the eiiminative tissu of the Kidneys so that they can lilt er and strain from the blood and system the poisons, acids and wast n;altr, which cause not only Rheumatism, bu! numerous other diseases. Every man or woman here who feels that their kidneys are not healthy and active, or who suffers from any urinary trvible whatever, shouU not hesitate to i:;ake up this mixture, as it is certain to Oj much good, and may rave you from much misery rud suHericg after a while. A IliUi-ULi iJrt-atu. I had a horrible dreum a few nights ago. I dreamed that I wa? ilxj suN editor of a religious weekly. Thirls nothing dreadful la that, cf course. The horrible part comes later. My editor, Just off for a holiday oditora generally are, you know instructed mo to write to several ieo;:!e of eminence and ask them to toll me ih.ir favorite prajer. (I record thl3 little Ftory in all reverence, you uader.-ilai: 1.) Well, many of the eminent people replied. Including a lady novelist of great fame. The lady wrote: Dear Sir In reply to your esteemed favor, I have much pleasure in Informing you that my favorite prayer is, "Give us this day our daily bread. I placed It at the head of the column, put the paper to tod and went there myself, feeling pleased. Neit morning when I opened my copy of the religious weekly I found that three letters had been dropped from the lady novelist's favorite prayer, which, to my consternation, now read as follows: 'Give us this day our daily ail." I woke up screaming. Kebla Howard, In Sketch. Don't Trr Uncertain Recipe. It Is entirely unnecessary to exprimnt with this, that and tbe other recl;. üt from your grocer, for 10 cents, a package of "Orit'riC" Preparation lmoa. C'iiulni or Custard for cialias pies that are mit to be irooJ. Unconwcloa Humor. A class of little folk in an English elementary school were recently asked to define a lady," with curious results. The definition of Lizzie, agod 7, will strike a responsive chord in the heart of the busy woman and shows that Lizzie must be an observing person. A lady Is something like a man," rays Lizzie, "but she's got long hair and ßhe's got a different face and different clothes, and she's got a lot cf work to clo." Charlie, aged G, i3 impressed by the difference between the sexes. "A lady" he finds to be "different from t. in In because a lady has dilTerer.t rlothes from a man, a lady has different eyes from a man, a lady his a different body from a man, and a laily has different shoes from a man." Howard, aged 7, gets at tbe same facts from k different point of view. "A lady," he says, "has not got some trowsers, but a man has got some trowsers." A se;ond Charlie, a year older than tbe first one, thinks that "a lady Is a nice woman because she don't have torn clothes, and she has a woch with her, and sLe has a chane on the woch." ProvldliiK I Li apille. Egg-rolling on the White House lawn has long been an Easter custom ia Washington. So has It been a custom In a neighboring Sunday school to give Easter eggs to the children. Last Easter the superintendent of th echool startled his hearers by this announcement : "Now, children, we will sing hyma number ninety-three, 'Begin, my soul, the exalted lay, after wbich 1 will di tribute the eggs." Cue .More Variation. The car had reached Geithe street. "Gertie! vociferated the conductor. "How vu!;ah!" sniffed little Miss Prim. "Everybody knows the name is Gertrude." Chicago Tribun. The jaws of a wasp have enormous strength. If you put one of these insects In a shell matchbox, it will quickly cut its n&y out. HEB "BEST FRIEND. A Woman Thai Speaks of Potnni. We usually consider our best friends those who treat us best. Some persons think coffee a real friend, but watch It carefully awhile and observe that It Is one of the meanest of all enemies for it stabs one while professing friendship. Coffee contains a poisonous drug caffeine which Injures the delicate nervous system and frequently sets up disease In one or more organs of tbe body, if its use is persisted in. X had heart palpitation and nervousness for four years and the doctor told me the trouble was caused l-y coffee. He advised me to leave it o!T, but I thought I could not," writes a Wis. lady. "On the advice of a friend I trud Postum Food Coffee and It so satisüed me I did not care for coffee after a few days' trial of Postum. "As weeks went by and I continued to use rosturn my weight incronscd from OS to IIS pounds, and the heart trouble left rnc. I have used it a year now and am stronger than I ever was. I can hustle upstairs without any heart palpitation, and I am cured of nervousness. "My children are very fond of Postum and it agrees with them. My sister liked It when she drank It at my house, but not when she made it at her own home. Now she Las learned to make It right, boll it according to directions, and has become very fond of iL You may use my name if you wish as I am not ashamed of praising my best friend Postum.' Name given by Postum Ca, Battle Creek, Mich. Read "The Road to Wellvllle," Ia pkgs. "There's a Reas!!