Plymouth Tribune, Volume 6, Number 13, Plymouth, Marshall County, 3 January 1907 — Page 6

I Pill Cull

The Irealdeiits MennaK. When It was announced even before Congress had digested the president's special message on Porto Hico, that ix iuore social messages were, to be sent in, there was a general outcry from the oppressed congressmen, who declareYl that they were being so overburdened with messages that they toadn't time to pay attention to anything else. The president's meddling was deplored, and direful predictions were made of the trouble that some of these messages would cause. The San Francisco message was expected to reek with blood and thunder, and it was rumored that a message on the naval personnel would urge presidential discretion la weeding out officers, and so "be directly opposed to the plan for controlling the personnel which bad been .recommended by a naval board that ihad inquired into the subject. San Francisco and the navy were botu expected to rish promptly In rebellion. As a matter of fact, the messages have not proved to be so alarming or o burdensome, and the congressmen may even congratulate themselves on the high quality of the entertainment jthey have bad from some of them. 'For instance, the longest of all the messages, that on Tanama, would pass muster anywhere as light literature. It was chatty and vivid, even without taking the accompanying photographs Into account, and for all Its length it contented Itself with but a single general recoramerdatlon as to reorganization." Of cov.-se It was directed over the heads of Congress to the country, but that didn't spoil it for local consumption. The message on the navy personnel proved to be just the opposite of what the wisorercs had predicted, Inasmuch s It transmitted the navy board's recommendations with approval. The jncssage on the discharge of the colored regiment was vigorous enough N keep its hearers awake, but since the Senate had demanded it, no complaint about it could be made. The message on San Francisco and its treatment of the Japanese was considerably more moderate In tone than had been expected. Finally the message on the land laws was one which on the very lace of the facts was greatly needed, .however unpleasant reading it may have been to congressmen who had long neglected their duties at previous sessions. That made only 'five of the expected six messages, the other apparently being held for later transmission, j Considering all things, Congress still considers Itself agr at the anumber of the special r -wiF-s. It may temper its sorrow materially by consideration of their quality. Chicago Ree-rd-IIerald- ' Our Taxe for War. Two-thlrda of the revenues of the 'United States are devoted t J the payment of Inheritances from former wars, like pensions, and to expenditures In view of future ware This startling fact was stated by Senator Hale of Maine in the course of a debate on increasing the efficiency of the artillery corps of, the army. "We can get no appropriation for the juarlne of the country," he said, "or for shipping; river and harbor bills are arrested, public building bills are checked, because we must spend such a proportion ,of the public revenue for military purposes." r Yet we are in the midst of the highest civilization the world has ever known, when the nations of the earth are less disposed to war with one another than they have ever been, after nearly 2,000 years of the gospel of fesus Christ among men. The United Stales, Isolated by the oceans, Is Involved In no International problems or quarrels. We have had only one great war since the republic was established, the rebellion; other wars with England, Mexico and Spain have not cut B.uch- figure In onr history. We are not likely to have another war, unless we seek It determinedly, for this. U the richest and soon will be the most populous and powerful of civilized countries. And yet two of every three dollars we are taxed Is spent on warfare, either past or future! There seems to be no remedy for this state of affair, unless human nature should suddenly grow gentle. But if our case Is so bad, what, must be the burdens bore by Europeans, like Germans and Frenchmen, who live in con: stant expectation that they will have to fight? Evidently the world is still far from the time when every man will love his neighbor as himself and do Unto oth- I rs as he would they shonld do unto, him. The lion and the In.mb are not yet ready to He down together. Chicago Journal. All Metal. "Can I sell you a love story?" asked the aspiring young author In the editorial department bf the big magazine. "Possibly," replied the busy editor. "What kind of a heroine have you pictured?" . ' '' "Well, she ls a gtrl with an Iron will." "Go on." "And a heart of steel." ' "Ah!" "And sufficient brass to carry her ' through the world, and plenty of tin to kuy a titled husband." "Whew!" . "But when she riveted her eyes; " "Hold on, young man. This Is a magazine office. I think you better try and sell that story In a hardware store." Father Time's Joke. Father Time had stopped to sharpen his scythe. ".Why," exclaimed the Fool Killer, who wag close at hand, "you look thinner than when I met you last." Father Time laughed. "In that case." he replied, "I suppose you .would alluile to me as spare time." HI Little Joke. Joakiey It's funny that so many farmers are swindled by bunco men. Coakley Oh, I don't know. Fanning lsc't calculated to make a man shrewd. Joakiey But to be a successful farmer one. has to be sharp as a raiser. Philadelphia Ledger. , Ilia Object. "Do you enjoy staying out until 2 and 3 o'clck every morning?" "No, Indeed ; but I can't afford to let my wife get Into the habit of expecting me home early." Houston Post. Tfee supply of Jungle animals Is never

USELESS TARIFF AGITATION.

Country Wonld De lonlne to Disturb I'reienl lritpertt-. Our morning contemporary in Des Moines ought to know that the last election IUI not turn on the tariff and it ought to realize that the present Congress will nut revise the tariff, for the best reason of all, that not even the President will ask for such action in his message. That paper Is simply seeking tö continue the strife within the party in the State. It can promote nothing ele by its course. There is the greater work of regulating corporations and curbing the trusts, which must be done outside of the tariff, according to Mr. Roosevelt's owu conception of politics and duties. While engaged In these Important duties, there is no reason why the industrial stability and prosjerity should In? further threatened by tariff legislation. The country will !e very fortunate if it completes the reforms undertaken by the administration without disturbing our present prosperity. It is that more thau anything else that the President is desirous of. To keep injestlng issues which are not germane to the present work in hand is merely to promote distractions and disturbances. Let us fulfill the President's pending reforms and then we will be better able to judge how much reforming there ought to be on the tariff. And rest assured of one thing, and that is that if all the duties were lowered by half, there would be the same dissatisfaction and the same complaints against.it. No system of taxation can ever be so finely equalized as to give satisfaction to all. A tariff Is merely a compromise and the next compromise would not be any more satisfactory than the present. It is Idle to expect It. Cedar Rapids Republican. Am to Combination. "Noxious where It is not ineffective," is the president's characterization, in his message, of the effort to prohibit all combinations, good or bad, In our industrial system ; and he points out the fact that combinations of capital, like combinations of labor, are necessary elements of that system. He criticises our present laws as they have often been criticised in these columns for forbidding all combinations "instead of sharply discriminating between those combinations which do good and those combinations which do harm." Under the Sherman anti-trust law, for example, every combination to maintain the 'prices 'of commodities, whether local or general, is Illegal, and a careful construction of It would forbid labor unions from organizing to maintain a given rate of wages, if we consider labor as a commodity. So, too, as the president says, railroads would often like to combine for the purpose , of preventing a big shipper from maintaining improper advantages at the expense of smaller shippers and the general public; yet such a combination, which should be favored, Is now prohibited. This Is a phase of corporation law reform which demands the Immediate attention of Congress. Leslie's Weekly. Knorkoat for Fbnetlc. As far as government documents are concerned, they wlli be printed in the orthodox orthography of the standard lexicographers and not according to the dictum of the simplified spelling board. When Congress took the matter with apparent seriousness and proceeded to legislate, the, jig was up. President Roosevelt is as earnest as ever in his belief that we should simplify our more pressing affairs in jeopardy by forcing the Issue at this time. There Is a suspicion that the resoluions requiring official documents to be printed by established rules of spelling was Introduced for the purpose of bringing on a controversy with the president, but If so, be checkmated the move by promptly bowing to legislative will. That settles the question for the present, and it Is not likely to be renewed at least during the present session. President Rotsevelt has more weighty matters on his mind and he won't be switched from the main track by any dispute over comparative trifles. Toledo Blade. Hunting Trot hie. The old farmer led the city boarder up the rickety stairs. ' "Come this way, neighbor," he drawled. "I want .to show you the horns of all the game I bagged during the past season." Visions of moose and elk antlers flitted through the mind of the city boarder. When he reached the attic he was startled. "Why, man," he ejaculated, "the only kind of horns I see up here are automobile boras." " "And automobiles happened to be the game I bagged," chuckled the old man. "Every time one of them ran over a chicken tr a pig I ran out and held them up by shooting the tires. Then I stripped the horn off as a trophy." Conscience Stricken." "Uncle Marcus say his koushunse trouble him since he dun jined de church," remarked Aunt Matilda as she stopped hanging out clothes. "It do?" replied her neighbor. "How do he show. ltT "In many ways, slstah. When he ara plowln' he puts cotton in de mules' eahs so they, can't bean him sweahln et dem." Her Enjoyment. ' "Here I am home again," said Mrs. Nagget, removing her wraps. "I was In plenty of time for the wedding and I enjoyed It Immensely." "You don't say?" snapped Mr. Nagget "What was the matter? Didn't the bride appear at her best?" Philadelphia Press. Resemblance. Ir-.keeper That minstrel troupe that you represent will have to pay In advance. The last time they were here we called them "The Mosquitoes." Advance Agent Why so? Innkeeper Because they n.'ways try to fly by night. Chnnifed. "I thought you said May Nagger married a good-natured man." "So she did." "Nonsense! I met him yesterday and of all the surly" "Well, he's been married to May fot three months." Philadelphia Pres. More Frensled Finance. Brown I Just made $4. Green How did you do It? Brown Short wanted to borrow five and I finally compromised by lending him one. M la understood. "How did you get along with the heavy swells at the seaside, Daisy?" "Oh, first rate; I'm engaged to two of 'em now." Baltimore American.

QUESTIONABLE INVESTMENTS. HERE is no doubt whatever that some gold and silver mining stocks now being offered

i I the public will prove good

ture and character of the properties represented, can be bought only at great risk. It Is necessary, therefore, for persona who

desire to speculate with their surplus earnings, carefully to inquire Into both the management and properties embodied In the stocks offered them. Investigation should be guided by some very well established facts. Gold and silver mines are to be distinguished from copper mines, in that the former are very apt to be "pockets" that become speedily exhausted, while copper veins, as a rule, extend deep Into the earth. Consequently, the development of gold and silver mines must be made at greater risk than the ojening of copper mlues. For this reason gold and silver stocks are sold at a comparatively low figure, the price asked generally Indicating the risk'to be run by the purchaser; while copper stocks as a rule commind higher figures, especially if analysis show ore In piylng quantities at the outcrop. Still, the old adage, "The greater the risk, the greater the gain" holds good. Therefore, the only question, after investigation, that Investors have to decide for themselves Is, whether or not they are able to assume the risk. But theTe Is not only the risk attaching to the properties themselves, but that pertaining to the management On this score It 6hould be said that so unscrupulous are many men connected with mines In this country, that the Denver Board of Trade recently sounded a warnrng to the public to beware of companies formed purposely to secure money from the people, rather than gold from the earth. This phase of the matter Is more difficult of Investigation, but should be determined as exactly as possible. Williamsport (Pa.) Grit

CIVIC THINKING.

t -

GROUP of forty representative men of Chi

cago met recently at a dinner to discuss plans for the betterment of their city. There was not one of them business or professional man who had not won the regard . of his townsmen by his unofficial public service. With them were a number of men

m

from the East "What a wonderful thing It Is for a city," said one of the Eastern men to a friend, "to have forty men of such caliber and power devoted to its service." "It Is, Indeed," replied the other. "But bow much finer a thing if one could go into the street and call In any forty, young men, and find them as active, as purposeful, as determined to help their community on the road of progress." The first speaker laughed cynically, as If the suggestion were wildly Impossible. Yet It should not be so. The quality in these strong men which made them a force In the city was not riches nor scholastic training.

m tftlie WOMEN

The American woman, whether work ing for a living or merely taking a philanthropic Interest in the better ment of her sex, might find consolation, if there be feminine solace In comparisons, by contrasting the condition of the working women here with that of her sisters In Europe. Women's work has long been fruit ful of discussion In Germany and In France, and now It has become a Continental question and has produced a deluge of pamphlets in many tongues. None of this army of reformers, however, has gone so far as to advocate womans abandonment of the field of labor; they are merely In favor of re forming her hcurs and methods. In all European countries woman is engaged In the most laborious occupations. She Is the general farm hand all over the continent she plants the seeds and gathers the crop, nnd In parts of Germany she is both plough horse and cart . torse. She pushes a broom and a wheelbarrow as a street cleaner In Berlin and Munich and in the latter city adds to these duties that of track sweeper and switchman for the street railways. She serves as a railway crossing guard and Is frequently a section hand or station porter working in competition with men. She breaks stones for highways in southern Europe, takes her turn at pushing heavily laden canal boats In Holland. She works In the mines of Belgium, digging coal and ore and loading them upon cars and In Bavaria she 1 stone crusher and hod carrier. If she has any leisure, between times, somebody manages to find her s something to do. In fact, the Eurojean woman Is so busy that she has scarcely opportunity for advanced Ideas and that seems to be the reason that now man has risen to reform her work. That her long hours of toll and the Insufficient nourishment that her poor pay furnlahes rob her of the charm and graces of womanhood and Induce great physical suffering Is admitted. But the most deplorable, fret of all to the military statesman is that such conditions mean a lack of gooo fighting men to fill the rank of tn mndtng armies a much weightier matter than the mere sympatbetl fact that she ts a beaut of burden ON AN ARKANSAS RAILROAD. Wreck. Though No Uncommon Thins, Likely to Canoe Trouble. A western railroad man tells of a road In Arkansas built long ago, a road that had all the weaknesses to which neglected systems are exposed. The ballast was thin, the grades heavy and the ties rotten. Nearly all passengers traveling by this road proviuca themelve with accident policies, although as a matter of fact there was not much danger, as the trains were not given to sprinting, and the regular accidents osed to occur without, serious results. Trainmen had by long practice learned when to Jump and the passengers by following their example fared just as eil. Tht fastest train wtnt at t& rata

Opinions M Great Papers on Important Subjects,

investments; but N ger I The A SANE of eurof: when the wind was not unfavorable of ten miles an hour and so was called the Little Rock express. One day the Little Rock express Jumped the track and went tearing into 9 cornfield. While the rest of the trainn.en were sitting in the shade waiting for the wreck train the conductor came up. saying to the engineer: 4,Rill, I am afraid you're In for, it this time. I miss my guess If you don't get fined for this.' "Ah, g'wan!" exclaimed Bill, 'it wasn't my fault; it was the fault of the rotten old road. Besides, we get derailed on an average of three times a week. The superintendent wouldn't know what to think If we kept the track for ten days running. "That's all right, Bill," rejolnec the conductor, "but you're off the wrong way. So long as you keep on the right of way it doesn't matter much, but we have no business In this man's cornflelJ, ani you know It." Mary J. Holmes, author of about half a hundred novels, resides In lirockport N. Y., where she has lived some 50 years. Her first novel was published in .1854, and almost every year since she has produced another book. Her husband Is Daniel Holmes, ailawyer. Doubleday, Page & Co. have just sent special copies of Homer Hulbert'a book, "The Parsing of Korea," to the Emperor and the crown prince. They were bound In full morocco and In the Korean colors, yellow and red, and were the gift of Mr. Hulbert to his royal friends, the emperor and the prince, who. In his twenty years of residence In Korea, have showed him many kindnesses. Mr. Hulbert once saved the emperor's life. Daniel Gregory Mason's book on "The Romantic Composers" deals with most of the great names in the history of music In the first hilf of the nineteenth century Schubert, Schumaun, Mendelssohn, Berlioz, Chopin, LIt The studies of these composers, v. hlch are connected by the general Idea underlying the entire work, are preceded by an Introductory chapter In which Mr. Mason gives a clear statement of what he means by romanticism in music. Over 100 years ago "Buck" Whaley wrote the memoirs of his thirty-four years of eventful life crowded with Incident The manuscript was lost sight of for a century, till Sir Eiward Sullivan walked into a London book auction-room the other day, where the copy was offered for sale. He bought it, and prepared It for the priys with notes and introduction. It Is at present the talk of London society, and will take Its place alongside "The Life of Jack Mytton" ad other books of memoirs, destiued to fascinate future generations of readers. Byram Stoker, whose "Reminiscen ces of Sir Henry Irving have met with so favorable a reception, wrote a very different kind of book on his first centure in authorship. That book was "The Duties of Clerk of Petty Ses iLns in Ireland," a sort of legacy to his old department In Dublin castle. which he left to Join Irving In the year of Its publication. He had risen to be Inspector of petty sessions when he threw In his lot with the greatest actor of th Victorian tra. sir Thornley

S1

It was simply the practice of giving a large part of their time to thinking, not of personal, but of community affairs. They did what it should be the duty of every man, and especially of every young man, to do devoted a part of every day consciously and directly to logical planniig for the .benefit of their fellows. Suf-h practical suggestions as occurred to them they passed on to others, and thus their conversation became, not a mere Interchange of pleasantry and repartee, but a mutually beneficial Interchange of Ideas on Important affairs, which left richer all who Joined in It Every village and city needs such help from every citizen. There are great public services to be accomplished through private Organization and personal effort Youth's Companion.

THE VALUE OF PUBLICITY. EARLY everv month somehodv Ht the. An-

of arresting justice through publicity. best detective, however. Is the honest

iiewsiujer ej?r reauy to correct ira mistakes. . The Juror who does not read the newspapers is the most dangerous Juror. As

a rule, you may safely trust intelligent men to decide a case In harmony with the evidence. The effort to prevent publicity from invading the mind is like the effort to promote health by arresting the circulation of ozone. When a newspaper unfairly tries the case beforehand and hangs somebody before convicted, It makes friends for the accused. If a man Is abused before trial, he should be grateful ; for unwarranted abuse Is a boomerang. We know of a successful man who says that be Is chiefly Indebted for his success to his stupid enemies whose ample rope get9 about their own necks. There was a case In Maine not long ago where a newspaper s-et out to make a convict of one never indicted, the effort helped the accused. This world U promoted by its martyrs. The Innocent can best afford full publicity. Prejudice or misinformstion are eliminated by turning on the Igbt. Lewston Journal.

VIEW OF ANNEXATION.

.ROFESSOlt GOLDWIN SMITH, of Toronto,

Is quoted as saying: "The annexation of Canada to the United States will probably come, but none can say how soon or in Just what way. Two countries so closely related by nature and so similarly iwpulated can hardly forever remain apart But great

movements often progress unseen for a time, you know, and so it Is with this one." Two great English-speaking nations separated onl by a parallel of latitude and a few floating buoys appeal to be running somewhat counter to the course of nattre, but there Is no reason why the matter should trouble anybody at present. The only duty that confrouts or. Js likely to confront the present generation of Americans and Canadians Is to be good neighbors.

Stoker, the eminent Dublin surgeon, is the elder brother of Ilyrani, both being the sjns of a former ofllcia! In the chief secretary's office. Ills knighthood he won some ten years ago, when he rose to the bead of his profession as president or' the Royal College of Surgeons In Ireland. A Poor Place to Live In. Wind .and weather were to Mrs. Goodsall a constant source of Interest She Watched the clouds and the village weather-vanes with eagerness and pleasure, and lu doubtful weather her first question to the grocer's boy whan he came to take or deliver orders was sure to be, ;"Which way was the meet-Ing-house vane p'inted when you came by?" Her neighbors all humored her by telling of ary eccentricity they had discovered in their own or other vanes, and Mrs. Goodsall would speak of "eddies" and f'currents" aid "swoops" of air In a wise and authoritative manner. "How did you enjoy your visit tc Boston?" asked one of her neighbor! on Mrs. Goodsall's return from a week's sojourn with a niece who lived In the city. "I suppose you saw lots of grand sights. I hear Carrie lives In considerable style." "She lives in a benighted locality," said Mrs. Goodsall. dryly, "that's what I cll It; for all their carriages ani stone fcteps an' fine clothes, 'tis a benighted spot Peer an twist as 1 could, there was only one weather-van I could sight from their windows, back or front What kind of a place do you call that for Intelligent folks to make a home, I'd like to know!" The Poverty of English. The poverty of the English language Is exemplified by a circular which is making the round of a suburb and inviting subscriptions to a testimonial to the statlonmaster. It comes from one who' styles himself "the longest resident," the sad physical fact being that he Is probably the shortest although In bulk and rotundity he makes up for the Inches he lacks in height Here Is a case In which the very clumsiness of the German language woulJ be an Inestimable help, for then this this gentleman could quite correctly describe himself "the for-the-longest-tlme-herein-resldlug," or even perhaps "the for-the-lougest-tlme-hereln-rcsid-lugest" individual. Those compound adjectives of the Teutons may be awkward, but they express what the usei means, and Insure accuracy. London Chronicle. What the Girl Preferred. "If you marry John," said the woman (John is a farmer), "you'll have to get up at 4 o'clock of mornings and milk about seventeen cows." "I'd rather get up and milk a hunt dred cows," the girl declared, "than hang out the window of some New York fiat at 4 o'clock of mornings waiting for my husband to come home to me." New York Globe. Sot a Blatter of Principle. "Didn't you say that the bosses must go?" ' "I did." "And here you are setting yourself up as a boss." "Certainly. Why did you suppose I wanted the other fellows to go?" . illadelphia Ledger. c. Kept Her Word. "This," said the school friend, who had . not seen her for a year, "this Is the girl who vowed to me she never would belong to any man. eh?" "I don't" said she who had been married the matter of some few months or so. "He belongs to me." A Lar Figure. "Jimmy proposed to me to-day." "Why, he proposed to me last night I" "Yes, .he told me he'd been rehearsing It so that he'd be snrs to do It nicely." Clevelaad Leader.

SOLDIERS' STORIES.

ENTERTAINING REMINISCENCES OF THE WAR. Graphic Account of Stirring Scene Witnessed on the Battlefield and in Camp Veterans of the Rebellion Recite Experience of Thrilling Nature. Of the Confederate Cabinet no member survives, says the- Boston Transcript. The first rank of the Confed?rate statesmen Is no more. Indeed, it is difficult to recall a survivor of even the more prominent of the Confederate lawmakers and administrators of the lesser grade. Senator Vest, of Missouri, who was long the last survivor of the Senate of the Confederacy, has passed away. Reagan, of Texas, long represented the Cabinet of the Confederacy, but he has gone, too. Of the Confederate Generals, Lieutenant General Stepheu D. Lee, of Misissippl, Is the most conspicuous survivor, and even he is better kown to stuients of military history in the North than to the majority of Northern wear?rs of the blue hereabouts. Though he served In Virginia in the earlier period Df the war, he does not appear to have been closely related, , If at all, to the famous Lee of the Old Dominion. The greater part of his campaigning was passed either in the trans-Mississippi department or as a lieutenant of Hood In the disastrous Nashville campaign. He was regarded by the Confederates as a trustworthy officer, but as he laid down his sword at 32, It Is impossible to form an opinion of his capability for higher commands. Here and there are found in the South men who as officers were not identified with the great achievements, but were at least of local Jistinction, 1 like Senator Morgan and Pettees. of Alabama, who held general rank. The list of surviving colonels and subordinate officers of the Confederate army is, long, for In the South as in the North. It was a youiig man's war. judged by the masses in arms, but the sreat lights cf the lost cause have all gone out What Is true of the Confederacy is measurably true of the Union. All of the foremost of Lincoln's councilors md commanders have passed away. Of those who commanded "armies" only Generals O. O. Howard and Grenville M. Dodge are still with us. Of the corps commanders General Sickles is a 'ouspicuous survivor. Many generai orficers of lesser celebrity are still borne pu the rolls of the veterans, and there nre colonels, majors and captains who are still active In business, professional and official life. On the retired list of the army are still more veterans whose pames carry memory back to the brave lays of old as associated with astrikJig incident or policy. . Among these a General Knfus Saxton, who was identified with the experiment : of mploying negroes as soldiers. Now an ctogenarlan, he knew the household of fefferson Davis well "before the war." :Ie had many good-natured controversies with Its members as to the trend )f events, believing the slavery question ;ould only be settled by war. After ne of these discussions, the story goe :hat Mrs. Davis assured him that If he sver came South as an Invader she aould see that his grave was well sired for, charging herself with that as i friendly duty. The years have soothed temper on Doth sides, and the North and South rau Judge to-day as historical characters many whom their fathers viewed through the passions and prejudices of contemporary politics. Even Jefferson Davis is studied to-day rather than hated by the historians of the North. Ills widow passed many yearä In the North, an object of curiosity not uniludly, and treated respectfully as the relict of a historical character. Possibly her apparent capacity for home life it the North may have been acquired from her husband, for he, strange and ontradictory as It may seem, had expressed a strong liking fur New England. Nor was It an illustration of opposites attracting a strong nature. To i ßostonian who visited him at his Mississippi home, long after the war, Davis xpressed a preference for P.cston, and jounded him on the advisability of making his residence In our city. The reply being evasive, Davis expressed regret It may be added that, differing vrlth him as they did on the great Issue, his New England colleagues In the Senate still liked him much better than any other of the Southern leaders. Henry Wilson felt a iersonal regard for Jefferson Davis which the latter reciprocated. i, A Joke on the Captain. The following narrative sounds a little too much as If made up for this case. It seems a little singular, to say the least, that ibis same Incident, practically, should have happened to General Grant and several othr generals and favorite colonels of the war. We give place to It simply to express the belief In a general way, that It should be about the last, of this particular brand : 'Among the funny things happening in the neighborhood of Atlanta the following should not be forgotten: Contain was a practical wag, always "coming It over the boys" in some wßy. If they got to napping on guard he was sure to get their guu. ' He caught the writer once In this way, aud threatened to report him If It occurred again. Things had gone on In this way until the boys longed for an oppoYtunlty to catch the captain. In due time the opportunity occurred. Joe Barker Was on guard. Each owed the othor "one." . Tho order to admit no one to camp without the countersign had been promulgated. This the captain knew, and yet he attempted to pass Joe nnd get Into camp. It didn't work. Joe baited him in regular form, "Who goes there?" "A friend; you know who I am." "Not a bit of it; advance and give the countersign!" , , "But I am Captain ." "No difference if you are." "You know who I am." "I know you have been fooling too much of late; now 30U mark time." Not pleased with the ring of Joe's voice and the looks of his gun, the captain began "marking time," at the ame time asking: "Don't you know me, Joe?" "Of course' I know you. Mark time !" And there that captain marked time, offering Joe a ten-dollar greenback not to tell the boys. It Is needless to add that the money was not accepted. ARTHUR JONES. Brooklyn, Iowa. Sudden Panic In tfee Camp. A North Carolinian tells a very amusing story In connection with the rosin beds which are found in the turpentine districts. During General

Sherman's famous march to the sea, a part of the Twentieth Anry Corps was halted in a section of this forest, and prepared to camp for the night The soldiers were somewhat mystified at finding so large a stretch of saiooth, solid rock, but congratulated themselves that they would not have to bivouac in the mud. Knapsacks were unslung. guards were mountetl, and fires were kindled at different points, and the tired and weary veterans were preparing to settle down for a comfortable rest The heat of the fires softened the rosin. First it began to sputter, then great black clouds of smoke legan to ascend, and suddenly huge columns of fire shot up, seemingly from the very bowels of the earth. The whole camp was in commotion; the men beat a precipitate retreat, and soon the whole space was a seething, roaring mass of flame. One of the soldiers, as he grabbed his gun and started, shouted a warning to his comrades: "Run, boys! We've struck h 1." The Saddest AVr Story. "The saddest war story that ever occurred has never been fully told so far as I know," said a man who followed .'.ee to the surrender at Appomattox. "I believe that Mrs. Chestnut in her 'Diary from Dixie' made a brief mention of the Incident "I had forgotten It until I read the book. Then it came back to me as I heard it from one who was at the funeral. The man who told.it died twenty years ago. "The soldier had enlisted In Georgia from his home where his father remained undisturbed during the struggle. The young man had fought through the war without a scratch, save a slight wound which had left him slightly deaf. This amiction he had never referred to In any of his letters. "After the surrender he communicated with his father, saying he would reach home on or about a certain date. Travel then was uncertain and he was not positive as to when he would arrive. "His father prepared to receive him. Believing that his son would come as promised, he arranged a spread such as the condition of his surroundings at that time would permit. He had brought out his best plate that bad been secreted for a long time, and with geld : which had been exhumed he bought such delicacies and substantia! as the southern market at that time afforded. "As many of the old time neighbors as were living In the vicinity were Invited to the home-coming of the returning soldier. The ex-Confederate arrived on the old plantation the night before the earliest data he had mentioned in his last letter. It was late and his father and the family had retired. "The'only creature on the old place that scmed to be awake was a dog. As the soldier entered the gate of the grounds the dog began barking. "The sound aroused the owner of the - manor. The country was overrun at the time with stragglers, some of whom had not hesitated to commit burglary. "The father of the returning boy arose. He stood In his doorway with his shotgun and challenged the approaching stranger, as he supposed. "The young man belnr deaf, made io replj but continued on his way. The man In the doorway raised his gun and fired. The stranger fell dead. "The father summoned his family and the few remaining servants of the plantation, An investigation was held and the tragic truth was revealed. "The father, of course, was inconsolable. He returned to his house while the servants carried the lifeless form of his boy to the home that had b-?e:i awaiting his coming. "The next day the Invited guests legan to arrive. The father had given orders that the tragedy should not be mentioned until he himself told It. "I do not recall what explanation was made to the guests as to the absence of bin whom they were to honor. But after vhe repast they were told, and then they filed past the dead. "The body was wraped in the flag for which the brave young man had fought The community was used to funerals. Every private burial ground ' had a grave made by the unhappy war. But no. funeral like this ha I ever taken place in the vicinity, ana I doubt If It ever had a counterpart in any stae, north or south. I hope not" New York Sun. , '

Carried 111 Kur A Tay. A description of the peculiar wounding of a member of a Georgia regiment, C. S. A., Is given by Private Abe Goldstein of the Sixth S. C. (Confederate). It occurred at Gettysburg during the terrific cannonading which preceded Pickett's charge- The Georgians were making for cover when a tall sergeant was seen to tumble headlong to the earth. Iiis regiment passed along, leaving him lying on the ground. In a few minutes be came runnl jg up to his companj. holding his hand td the side of his head and as pale as a ghost "We thought you had been killed," said the lieutenant who was commanding the. company. "Not quite," replied the sergeant "but I thought that doggoned camion shot had taken my Ik ad clean oft." After the regiment had got down close to the ground a hasty examination of the sergeant's head was made, and It was found that a fragment of a shell from one of the Round Toi had taken his right . ear on close to his head, as cieau as though It had been cut off with a surgeon's knife. In describing his sensations the sergeant said he felt as though lie had been overtaken by a cyclone and that a sixtory building had fallen upon him. The noise of the passing fragment of a shell on the drum of his ear. sounded like the sudden explosion of a thunderbolt "I felt that I had been suddenly killed a dozen times over," said lie tall sergeant after his wound had been bound with a cloth, and as he bit the end off a cartridge, rammed it into his I musket and got ready for the charge that followed. Professor Burgess, Roosevelt lecturer In Berlin University, will shortly vis' the universities of Bonn, Jena ar Lelpsic to lecture on the history the American Constitution. Empero. William has Issued strict instructions that his son, Prince August Wilhelm, who is an undergraduate at Bonn, should attend the lectures. Surgeon-General O'Beilly, of the army, hopes to carry out h'.s Idea of extending to the enlisted force a system of physical training similar to that employed at West Point The United States now takes half the world's crop of rubber.

y- v

Pattern Department UP-TO-DATE DESIUNS FOR THE HOME DRESSMAKER v v v. A Simple Bvtu KoHe. One of the garments ihat has become Indisjx'nsable in any well ordered outfit is a good bath ruoe. It is Always needed to slip cn when one Is making ready for the Lath, especially where the bath room docs not om out of one's own room, a ndttioxi t to exist In small houses or apartments. The material should be quite heavy enough to cover and protect one tlioroughly. For summer Turkish toweling is one of the most used materials, but for winter wear eiderdown is warmer and more comfortable. The design for such a robe should, of course. of the simplest, and this rat bor "mannish" efTect is in excellent taste. .Heavy gray striped eiderdown is ;jsed. the collar and cuffs bound with gray f-:tiu ribbon, aud the waist tied In with a heavy worsted cord, finMv with tassels. The above pattern will le mailed to your address on receipt of 10 cent. Send all orders to the Pattern Department of this paper. Be sure to give botJi the numlKT and size of pattern wanted, and write very plainly. Order Coupon. No. 1CZ2. SIZE ADDKESS Cute Little Apron. . The skirt of this design Is made of a piece of the wid flouncing and the yoke and s'.eeves, or epaulettes rather, of narrow, and the effect is both novel and pretty. As there are no hems to put in and no edges to finish the little garment can be.made up In a very few minutes, which is a thing to ic consiJered by busy mothers in choosing designs for their children's clothes. Many of such little aprons are required through the year, and practical designs are always ix-ing looked for. Tills pattern can be used with plain materials rATTERIf XO. HÜJ.", also and the edges finished with lace or embroidery, but it Is particularly adapted to the flouncings, as first suggested. The pattern is cut in frizes for girls from 4 to 8 years of asc The above pattern will be mailedo your address on receipt of 10 cents. Send all orders to the Pattern Department of this pajier. Be sure to give both the number and size of pattern wanted, and write very plainly. Order Coupon, No. 1G35 SIZE NAME ADDRESS .'; Little Abost Everr4iiag. Tanama ranks fifth in jopu!atlon and seventh in area among the States of the Colombian republic. The standard of height in the British army Is greater than In the army of any other cation. Between Madagascar and the coast of India there are about 10,000 islands, only G0 of which are inhabited, but most of which are capable of supporting a population.- H The first city hall In New York wa erected In 1042, at the corner of Tear! street and Coenties slip. The capital Invested by Germany !n the Transvaal is estimated by exports to be fully $150,000.XKs. The first steamer on the Thames was the Marjoxy, In 1814. The Itichmon3 folic wee her a year lata. Bottles now are being made of paper under a German patent. They are for use particularly on shipyard, where heavy weather works havoc among the glass receptacles. The suicide rate in the United States has Increased In ten years from 12 to 17 per 100,000 population. The United States Treasury LJil) three and nine-tenths times as muefc Roentgen rays have been found to ad on vegetation like very weak light Id experiments by Sig. G. Tolernel. It has recently been claimed that Iron ships with electric plants 6u2Tet rapid deterioration of their pipes tirto electrolytic actlca.