Plymouth Tribune, Volume 4, Number 51, Plymouth, Marshall County, 5 October 1905 — Page 8

THE FIELD OP BATTLE

INCIDENTS AND ANECDOTES OF THE WAR. The Veterans of the Rebellion Tell of Whittling Bullets, Bricht Bayonet, Börsting Bombs, Bloody Battles, Camp Fire, Festive Bags, Etc., Etc, "res said Captain Fowler, "we frequently fired at an enemy "when we couldn't see a man or a gun. At Averysboro, N. C., General Kilpatrick ordered my section of the battery forward to dislodge the enemy. When I .reported to the general the lines were quiet and I could see neither our own troops nor the rebels. I asked Kilpatrick where the enemy was and he fwaved his hand dramatically toward about half of North Carolina and said, "Right oyer there "I turned to look for a position for ,rny rifled ten-pounders, when a shell from the enemy whizzed over the general and staff. Kilpatrick flattened (himself on his horse, saying a moment later: 1 always dodge these things. I don't suppose It does any good, but .it is human nature to dodge, and I Wodge. But, I say, captain, can you dismount that gun without seeing it?' H told him we could, and going into jposltion we opened fire at 1,500 yards nd the enemy soon concentrated the Cre of six smooth bore twelve pounder on my two rifled ten pounders. "The range was too great for the .smooth bores, and I lost not a single nianu But we located the cnemy'j guns, one by one, and the gunners, "with three years' practice, put every shot In the right place to make trouble. Soon an orderly rode up to say: The general's compliments you have dismounted a gun. In ten minutes he icame again: 'The general's complirrents, and you have exploded a caisson. In five minutes another cavalryman disturbed us with: 'You have disabled another gun. Then for five minutes the rebel battery was silent "When It opened again the boys let drive with the two guns and litcraliy demolished one of the rebel guns, .breaking the carriage and turning the gun end for end. We saw it later when the rebs had retreated, and when T.e discovered we had been firing over our own men, who were near enough for their lookout to see our shots strike. When the lines came together the affair was over in fifteen minutes, and Colonel Rhett, a South Carolina in command, was a prisoner. "Two or three hundred of Rhett's men were captured with him. Just before their capture, Captain Duncan of our own army, who had been capered at Fayetteville, reported to General Sherman minus hat, shoes and coat. He stated that Wade Hampton'3 men made him get out of nearly everything he wore at the time of his capture, and appropriated all the articles, and that when he appealed to Hampton for protection he was answered with a curse. Hearing the story, Kilpatrick ordered that Rhett be permitted to march on foot to Golds boro. "By the way, when the Union troops concentrated for the battle of Missionary Ridge, our battery was left at Dallas without support to guard the river crossing. The reus on the other side of the river knew a battle was In progress, and the first day shouted at intervals: 'How is the fight going? Every time our boys shouted back: 'Tou'uns is getting licked. As the robs accepted this without comment we suspected they had more information than we had, and knew the battle was going against them. However, we traded coffee for tobacco the day Hooker went over Lookout mountain, and exchanged views on the situation. The rebels had quite a large force on their side of the river, and that night one of the pickets shouted: 'Wo will be relieved soon. Good-by, Tanks. The next morning a flatboat loadrd with men in gray came over to o'ir side under a flag of truce and said as their whole army was retreating they would like a chance to get into Kentucky. Another boat load came later, giving us news of Missionary Ridge and expressing a willingness to surrender. When they saw that our battery was unsupported they allowed they could have taken us in out of the wet if they had known the infantry had been withdrawn. "At Stone River we had smooth bore guns, but we did a good Job. After the rebs retreated we followed beyond Murfreesboro on the Manchester pike. The rear guard made a stand while a heavy column crossed the pike Just out of our range. The boys noticed, however, that when the solid shot struck the hard surface of the pike they ricochetted forward to the point where the heavy column was crossing, so they fired glancing shots, using the pike as a bouncing board, and did effective work. A general officer who rode a white horse and who was very busy was struck and killed by one of these ricochettlng cannon balls." "Speaking of glancing shots, said the lieutenant, "there was a case In the Philippines that beat the record. The day General Lawton with only two hundred men was cut off from his command, operating south of Manila, there was great excitement on the Monadnock. . Wr. could see . that the general was in a scrape and that the Filipinos were closing In to capture fcim." Finally the general signaled for help and ordered that men be landed from the warships at once to come to Iiis-rescue." "The vessels started five or six hundred sioreward and opened with all available guns on the Filipinos in the bushes. As all the world knows, the rebels were driven off, General, Lawton was rescued and established communication with the other parts of his command. Wten the bluejackets, returned to their ships they were ordered to remove. the cartridges from Ciclr guns. One man failed to obey, cd on ths Ucnadnock there was a cc otlca when a shot came from a rcr? cf men pitting their guns away. TL.2 ttHzt ctruci a man in the foot, c---ct J freza tl Czzz czttizj another jntn hi tl3 Lini, vent a czzzzzztli ;-zi ur.til it struck tha crpctza,

cf which took a section out of an ofl

cer's ear and the other struck a man in the leg. This sobered everybody, but only one man knew where the eccentric bullet came from, and he made no remarks. "I was down at Bridgeport, Ala., some weeks ago," said the major, "and things are not as they were In 1S64. On one occasion in the last year of the war I went to Bridgeport tired, sleepy and hungry. The hotel was without glass In the windows- and without doors. There were no beds and very little furniture of any kind. Yet the rooms were full of lodgers sleeping on cots or on the floor, and of boarders who paid self-appointed guards a high price for army rations served on a table in what had been a dining room. "A comrade with me said he must have sleep under shelter,, and, offering a high price for a -place to sleep, he was eiven a box in a lumber roam He wrapped himself in a blanket, and. stretching himself on the box, slept the sleep of a man who doesn't care for trifles. In the morning, when daylight made it possible for him to inspect his bed and surroundings, he found that he was sleeping on an empty coffin. I told him when I came back that Bridgeport could do better now and at a lower price." Chicago Inter Ocean. Zost Hia Xerre, While reading some of the incidents of the late war, written by my comrades, a circumstance comes to my mind which I would like to relate. I was a member of Company B, Fourteenth Indiana volunteers, and it was while we were camping at Elk river valley, western Virginia, I think. In our company we had an Irishman whose name, of course, was Pat. This Irishman had a particular friend in the company whose name was Joe Guthrfdge. One afternoon Col. Wilder came to us with the order that we should be ready to march that evening, immediately after dark, at the same time explaining: "Now, boys, we are In the enemy's country, and in a mountainous country, where the enemy can view our every movement, so don't make any unnecessary movements, but be ready to march at dark with two days' rations and your cartridge boxes full of ammunition." We were called Into line at dark and received order No. 2: "Boys, don't make any noise; don't speak above a whisper. I shall be at the head of the column, and if anything happens you will hear from me." We marched along until about two o'clock in the morning without stopping, when the colonel, thinking we needed a little rest, said, "Halt and lest," Just loud enough for the first company to hear. The next company knew what It meant and followed suit, but the next company didn't know what it meant, as they had heard no command, and by the time It reached the tall end of the regiment there was quite a confusion. Some one said "charge of cavalry," and you could hear guns click, click, but our officers ordered us to stand until we received orders. Just then Col. Wilder rode down the line and explained the cause of the confusion; then said, "Fall into rank, keep the same order, and move very quietly." Just as we were ready to march we heard a voice calling from the top of a tree near by: "Oh, Joe, and where In the divll is me gun?" It was our worthy Irishman. Should any of my comrades happen to- read this, will they remember how Col. Loomis cannonaded the breastworks Brier Bridge? of Green A Warning Shot. One of the strange incidents of war, especially during a state of siege, is the friendly relations which exist between enemies when off duty. At one moment the soldiers of the opposing armies will be chatting sociably and exchanging favors, the next shooting each.other down as deadly foes. A little incident told by Mr. Ripley in his "Story of Company F," gives a glimpse of a genial interlude in tha grim Civil War. During the siege of Petersburg, it was the custom for the opposing pickets to grant temporary truces for the purpose of preparing food. Half an hour, perhaps, would be agreed upon, and its limit would be scrupulously observed when "time" was called. Then every man would hurry under cover. On one occasion a Confederate was slow to respond to the warning. He, to all appearances, did not realize that he was in sight While the others hurried to their posts, he sat quietly blowing his coffee and munching his hardtack. Fortunately for him he was in plain sight of a sentinel less bloodthirsty than some. This man thought It only fair to give him farther warning. "I say, Johnny," he shouted, "time's up! Get into your holer "All right," replied "Johnny," still blowing his coffee. "Just hold that cup still a minute and I'll show you whether It's all right or not!" shouted the sharpshooter. The Confederate began to suspect that he was in fact visible, and he held his cup still for an instant as he looked up and around. This afforded the desired opportunity for the sharpshooter. With a well-sent bullet he knocked the cup clean out of the owner's hand. With sudden agility the surprised Confederate made haste to disappear, amid the Jeers and laughter of both lines of jackets. The Pac- that Kills. First Magnate I expect my new palace will cost two millions. Second Magnate Mine is going to cost three millions. "Ah, but you started building yours six months later than mine." The number of timber sleepers on the railways of the world is calculated to be about 1,494,000,000 and their value is estimated at about $300,000,000. This Item, makes a serious drain on the timber supplies of the world. It la only when at work that raaa fulfills his proper place in God's creature tcheme. They era indeed rarb exceptions who "al3 tcrve, who only ctand tzd wait." V Horn U tha ssrsmary cf ell cthsr

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TWO IMPORTANT QUESTIONS. F. C, Dnnstables, Mass: (1) The milk producers in this section are having fault found with their milk by contractors, on the ground that the milk contains pus. .Kindly state particulars regarding the condition of a cow whose milk is found to contain pus. If a cow is apparently healthy, and her owner has been given a clean bill of health by the veterinarian who is inspector, is it possible for her to give milk in this condition? It so, what is the cause and what is the remedy? Is this the same trouble as garret? (2) A neighbor's hired man stripped a cow the first time the calf had nursed her and gave, the milk to a calf several weeks old. The calf died The neighbor says the first milking of a cow after calving will kill any calf except her own. Is this true? (1) The class of milk you speak of is what is called gargety milk; yet milk of this class does not always come from cows having the garget. It is wholly unfit for human consumption, and the contractors are perfectly right in refusing to accept It, no matter who the Inspector was who granted a clean bill of health. I am sorry to say many veterinarians who have secured positions as milk inspectors, or rather cow inspectors, actually know but little concerning cows. Many of them could no more milk a cow than they could run an engine on the Boston and Albany Railroad. I am sorry to say cow inspection by far too many health boarts is more of a farce than anything else. Inspection of milk and other foods is all tright when properly conducted by competent men; but politics or political pulls puts many men to state and government positions as inspectors who would better be employed shovelling dirt on the P&nama Canal. The owners of herds of cows think they are warranted in sending milk to market after the inspector has passed upon the herd, even when their judgment tells them the milk Is not suitable for use. The consumers of milk in the cities feel safe when they learn that the herd has been inspected by a health inspector, yet said inspector may or may not be a man competent to inspect. There is too much dependence placed on a bottle of tuberculin, a hypodermic syringe and a thermometer placed in the hands of some fellow who hardly could tell a Jersey cow from an Angora goat, or if he could would not be able to tell the difference between a healthy udder and a diseased one. Notwithstanding all this, no honest person should ever think of sending milk to market or factory from cows he knows to Be diseased or to have diseased udders, no matter if the inspector has written up a clean bill tl health. (2) The first milk from a cow is altogether a different product from that from the same udder four days later. It really is ft medicated product, being laden" with elements which act upon the stomach and digestive tract. While I cannot call to mind a case where the first milk ever killed a calf a few weeks old, I know of several where it produced violent physicing, and I have reason to believe that in a case of a calf with a weak digestion it might cause death. C. D. Smead, V. S., in the Tribune Farmer. CARE OF THE HOGS. The hogs will soon be given their first meal of new corn. If they have been liberally fed on old corn they should not have a full ration of new corn, for their first meal. Rather begin feeding a little new corn before the old is gone. Then gradually Increase the new corn until the entire ration may consist of new corn, without disturbing the general health of the hog. Large hogs running on grass without grain will eat large quantities of the green stalk In the beginning of the feeding. Often they will chew up the green stalk when given a half ration of grain. As the stalk becomes more mature and as the grain feed is increased they do not eat enough of the woody stalk to pay for handling it. Usually in feeding hogs they leave much grain and green cobs. If stock hogs are given a chance they greedily clean up all refuse, keeping the feeding ground clear of soured grain. In the fall of the year hogs die most with cholera. It would seem that green corn leaves the system in a condition susceptible to the first germs of hog cholera. In fall feeding preventive measures this i should be used to counteract tendency. The hogs should have an abundance of salt, charcoal and ashes. Intestinal parasites, lice and bad water have much to do with weakening the system. Plenty of shade, plenty of salt and plenty of fresh water will usually tide the green, corn fed hog over the trying fall feeding. If the feeding lot is freshly broken, and lime and carbolic acid used freely , about the peny,- sleeping places and trough, the sanitary conditions will be greatly improved. A little green fodder to the milch cow or to the horses on pasture vill not come amis. The flies are so torminting that even on the best pasture the animals do not get all the grass they want. If given a feed of green fodder at night, it will assist In keeping up gains during the trying period of fly time. The lambs are taken from their mothers and need new range. No better place can be had than the green corn field, 'provided, of course, It Is free from burs. The wild grass 13 tender. The cultivated land Is soft, fresh and free from worms and the lambs have plenty of shade. They usually do little or no damage to tha ccrnV Do net ferret to teach

every lamb, calf and colt to eat before It is separated from its mother and before the grass is gone. W. B. Anderson In Indianapolis News. THE YOUNG TURKS. Turkey chicks are very delicate and tender for the first six weeks or two months of their existence up until the time they begin to "shoot the red," as it is termed, which is the development of the red protuberances upon the neck and throat. After this time they become hardy and vigorous, and will stand almost any condition, of climate, but up until that time care must be exercised to keep them from getting dan.p or chilled; they will not stand the effects of a ireavy rain-storm, and damp quarters arc almost certain to prove fatal to them. If their quarters are dry and comfortable and they are not allowed to remain out in rainstorms, they will get along very well. Their first feed should be hard-boiled eggs, at least for the first day or two, and then mix In some green food, of which dandelion leaves are the best that can be given them. Also milk curd, squeezed dry, and after two or three days barley meal or bread crumbs may be added to the boiled egg feed, little at a time, but feed often. , Where chicks run at large they will select their own green food, but when confined, chopped onions or dandelion leaves will be good for them. They must be kept dry, as dampness is fatal to them until they have passed the tender age, after which time they are the most hardy of chicks and will stand any kind of weather without apparent harm.) The most critical time is the first two months of their lives and during that time they must have the care and attention necessary to pull them through, after which they will bo able to look after themselves so far as the weather is concerned. We have found a pen sixteen feet square made of boards one foot wide very desirable to put the coop in containing the young turkeys. This, if moved twice each week, gives to your flock fresh ground without too much traveling for your young stock, which at the start is a very important feature toward success. Norris G. Temple in Massachusetts Ploughman. FALL PLANTING FOR ALFALFA. Why not raise a crop of oats, millet or peas, that will come off early and then at early wheat sowing, sow tha alfalfa. It will not freeze out. My neignbor sowed a field of fallow land last fall and thTs season cut a fair yield, has cut a field that has been down three years, that was sown in spring and one crop lost. In fall sow-, ing you will not be troubled with the weeds and will not have to clip it, but can wait till the first cutting the next spring and will then get pay for all your work. Try it. Tho Arkansas Experiment Station Bulletin, on alfalfa is the best so far iszuad in the United States (Fayetteville, Ark.) Mr. Bennett says, "Plow deep in the spring and sow In stock peas; cut when first pods are ripening. Plow shallow not to exceed four inches with your two-horse corn plow both ways; harrow till you gf t a good seed bed and sow fifteen pounds of seed per acre, at early wheat sowing. Be sure and buy pure seed. Seed comes Into this country, polluted with plantain and all kinds of noxious weeds. Buy pure seed of the best seedsmen, if you have to pay two dollars more on the bushel. The North Carolina Station says that the bacteria of the burr clover and alfalfa are identical. Burr clover Is an annual. Sow a light seeding of burr clover with the crop that 13 to be followed by alfalfa. The seed will fall in June and will reseed the next spring and the ground will then be filled with the bacteria, then the first cutting of al falfa wii! take it all out. Farmers, do not be afraid of alfalfa. If you sow it and take care of it, it will last you twenty years and you can't get into the Poor House. The Epltomist. RYE AS A COVER CROP. Farmers used a half century ago to sow rye among their corn and work it in at the last hoeing. Now the custom has been almost abandoned as few of them care to eat much rye bread, and if they wish to seed down the land they do so without grain, or with some other grain than rye. Yet it would be well for many of them to sow rye not only among the corn, but among many other crops or , where other crop3 nave heen taken off. It prevents the surface soil from wasning, ana also the fertilizing elements in the soil from leaching down, and stores up the fertility In an available form to be taken up by the next crop if the rye is plowed under in the spring. A crop of rye plowed under will supply much humus or vegetable matter to the soil when it decays, and that Is needed by many of our light soils In New England. The farmer who tries it will be well repaid for his seed and labor. American Cultivator. Stuff. The Iggorrotes having learned to rwad English, no long time could elapse until they should have encountered these words: "It was a soft, clinging stuff, that accentuated rather tnan . concealed her charms.' A young maid of the tribe saw them first. "Mother," said sire, "what was the stuff the young lady was clothed in?" The elder woman confessed herself perpiexed.' ' "Possibly it was coal soot," she ventured, recalling the wonderful tales told by Ahczz adventurers who had gone out to Cf. Louis many, many years ajo. Pu:Ü'

TO PREVENT RUST. To prevent damp and rust catching the wires of a piano, tack a small bag of unslaked lime inside It just underneath the cover and this will absorb all the moisture.

DELICIUOS PICKLES. Is it known that small pears nrnka delicious pickles when made after ths recipe of sweet pickled peaches? The fruit should be spared, but not quartered or cored. Leave the stem on. They look extremely well. SERVING A SALAD. A plain lettuce salad assumes a different aspect when served in rud'y tomato cup or shining green pepper cases, and a rosy ring of tomato jelly may inclose a plain celery or endive salad. Salals can be decorated with chopped gren herbs, hard boiled eggs, radishes, cut to represent little tulips, olives and nasturnium leaves and blossoms. DAINTY SANDWICHES. - - Pinxentoes make the daintiest of tea table sandwiches. The pimentoes should be cut In tiny rings, and only a few of them spread on bread and butter. The flavor should be delicate, not obtrusive. A LEFT-OVER. Sometimes a little ice cream is left to molt in the dish. A novel way of utilizing it is to make ice cream doughnuts, the recipe for which comes from a Wisconsin housekeeper. One cupful of melted ice cream, one cupful of milk, one spoonful of soda, and two of cream tartar, and flour enough to roll. Make into doughnuts and fry in deep fat. CARE OF HARD WOOD FLOORS. Oiled or stained floors can be kept in good condition by wiping them oft once a week with a soft cloth wrung out in warm water into which a little borax has been dissolved. It is not necessary to use soap, as the borax cleanses thoroughly and without any injurious effects. In this connection it is well to state as a gentle reminder or possibly as a valuable piece of information that piazza floors should be oiled at least once a year, the springtime being preferable. Nothing preserves wood that is exposed to wind and weather as well as a good application of oil, and three coats should be applied, allowing each coat to dry thoroughly before the next one Is put on. RECIPES. Fairy Gingerbread One cupful of butter, two of sugar, one of milk, four of flour, three-fourths of a teaspoonful of soda, one tablespoonful of ginger. Beat the butter to a cream. Add the sugar gradually, and, when very light, the ginger, the milk in which the soda has been dissolved, and finally the flour. Turn baking pan's upside down and wipe the bottoms very clean. Butter them and spread the cake mixture very thin on them. Bake in a moderate oven until bnwn. WTiile still hot cut into squares with a cake knife and slip frcm the pan. Keep in a tin box. This is delicious. With the quantities given a large dish of gingerbread can be made.' It must be spread on the bottom of the pan as thin as a wafer, and cut the moment it comes from the oven. Molasses Cake One cup New Orleans molasses, one cup sugar, onehalf cup water, one large teaspoonful soda dissolved in the water, one teaspoonful ginger, one-half teaspoonful cinnamon, one quart flour. Stir molasses, sugar, shortening and spices together thoroughly, then add water and flour; stir hard. Bake In two layer pans. Breaded Sweetbreads After betag boiled, split them, and season with salt and pepper; then dip In beaten egg and cracker crumbs. Fry to light brown in hot lard. Serve with tomato sauce. Simple Mint Sauce The simplest mint sauce is mad-e by steeping the chopped mint in boiling water, about half a cupful to a handful of mint, covering the bowl, and placing" where it will cool quickly. Let It stand for three-quarters of an nour, then add a little sugar, salt, paprika and four tablespoons of mild vinegar. Dancing Birds. Visitors to the island of Laysan, In the Hawaiian group, are frequently amused by the curious antics of th3 Laysan albatross, which sometimes performs, in pairs, a kind of dance. The birds approach each other, nodding and making profound bows, cross their bills, produce snapping and groaning sounds, rise on their toes, pufT out their breasts, and finally part, with more nodding and bowing, only to come together again and repeat the performance. Occasionally three engage at once in this singular, amusement. Again Unfortunate. They happened to be standing at the same corner, waiting for a street car. "I beg your parden for mentioning It, madam," said Mr. Makinbrakes, "but the atmosphere is full of soot this morning, and you have three or four smudges on your face." "I'll thank you to .look after your own affairs, sir," answered the middle-aged woman. "Those are moles." Hastily begging her pardon again, Mr. Makinbrakes decided to wait for the second car. Chicago Tribune. The German Malls. Elephants s.nd giraffes, horses and cows cannot be sent by mall in Germany; but most other animals can, among them dogs, monkeys, snakes, poultry, parrots, canaries, etc. Of the l,C00,000,O of people believed to inhabit the world only threeIUi3 are known by censuses.

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Dolixer on Gnard. I eoplc who favor reasonable railway rate legislation need no longer fear that the Senate will succeed In sfr)th erlng the matter In committee. Sena tor Dolliver, of Iowa, In an interview published in the Des Moines Register and Leader, says that a bill meeting the President's views on that subject will be introduced in the Senate even ir it is necessary to make a minority report. This insures a fair and full discus sion or the proposition. As is well known tho President is of the opinion that wme degree of government super vision Is necessary for the protection of the public. There are honest differences of opinion as to how this super vision shall be exercised or to what extent, but there is a growing senti ment throughout the country against the arbitrary action of the railroads. me interstate commerce commission is doing good work, but the scope "f its powers is net thought to be broad enough to meet all emergencies. The President has given the subject a great deal of thoughtful study and is bent on securing legislation which will cure the existing evils connected with railway transportation rates. lie has rlready approved the features of the Esch-Townsend bill, and It is uuutruKu, suggested some changes which will be incorporated in a new draft of the bill. Toledo Blade. Absnrd. One of the speakers at the fake reci procity convention remarked: "The folly of maintaining a tariff schedule that will enable us to sell $1,000 of manufactured merchandise In our own markets, but which will prevent the ue ui ?iu,uuu or manufactured or .agricultural products in foreign mar kets, 13 so striking that it can only be explained on the hypothesis that we have surrendered to a senseless fear of disturbing domestic tranquility." In view of the fact that the United States is making more progress in introducing her products into foreign markets than Great Britain, although the latA, . . . - - ier Keeps ner trade door wide open, this is a remarkable declaration. But when the further fact is cited that the increase of the domestic consumption of manufactured goods is greater than the increase of the export trade of manufactured goods by all the rivals of the United States, the utterances of tho speaker are at once seen to be ab surd. San Francisco "Chronicle." The Government Deficit. There Is no danger that Uncle Sam .m i- . . m uecome a Dantrupt. a year ago the wiseacres of the Democratic party were predicting a deficit of $150,000,000 for the fiscal year ending June 30, 1005. As usual, they were poor prophets, for the shortage reached but $24.000,000. The Democratic press has been certain that the government will be short $50,000,000 for the year ending June 30, 1906. Up to date the actual deficit Is $17,000,000, and it will decrease, Instead of increase. For the first third of September the government's revenues exceeded the expenditures by $1,200,000. For the corresponding days of September last year the balance was on the wrong side of the ledger to the tune of $20,uw. government officials are not alarmed over the outlook and the sit uation Is growing brighter. Your Uncle I Sam may be safely credited with knowi Ing his business. We Could Stand It. Of the articles we sell to Germany amounting In value In 1003 to $222,414,000 two-thirds are raw materials which Germany needs either for direct consumption or for manufacturing pur poses. These it is against the empire's own interest to exclude or to tax exorbitantly. We are, therefore. In a far better position to meet any tariff discrimination than Germany can possi bly be. We do not desire a tariff war, but we need not fear It. We would gladly maintain the status quo under which German-American trade has ex panded by leaps and bounds. Germany will have to take the aggressive, if any break comes. And It will force that break if It does force it In the face of earnest opposition from Its own merchants, manufacturers and shippers, who see that any policy of exclu sion will lead inevitably to stagnation and loss. Rock Island "Union." Tariff Smashing. Professional reformers may bewail our "drastic policy of exclusion" and continue to assault the American tariff system, but the American farmer and the American manufacturer "can hardly be deceived. He has surely learned by this time that tariff smashing is tariff smashing when conducted under Democratic auspices or by Republicans pos ing as the evangels of "reform.". Beau tiful theories count for little when squarely controverted by established facts. Des Moines "Capital. Mostly Wages, Too. Six years ago American manufac turers made but 45 automobiles, valued at $G0,000. Last year they built 2G,C01 machines, valued at $40,000,000, and In two years from now the value of the output will probably exceed $100,000,000. The export trade is Increasing rapidly and is already assuming: large proportions. Here is another Indication of prosperity made possible by our. present tariff. A good tariff to leave alone. How About Great Britain? If we were to adopt the principle that our tariff must be trimmed down to correspond with tariff concessions granted by other countries, how, then, would we deal with Great Britain, which imposes no tariff at all? Should we not, in ail fairness and consistency, be compelled to remove our tariff altogether on imports from Great Britain? Protection Means Busings. Bank clearances durlnz ta venrs when the Gorman-Wilson tariff was In operation averaged tess than C -0,000,000,000. They are now climbing raplily tovrard .'JO.UJ.CJ.J.

A SUCCESS SALAD. To choicest cuts of Energy And eggs, of cold, hard Cash. Add freely oil Diplomacy With salt of Tact a dash Bedeck with Leaves of Cheerfulness And pepper well with Nerve Behold your Salad of Success Is ready stir and serve! Ernest Neal Lyon in Life. TO PLEASE HIM. Mrs. Ascum But why do you buy such expensive things when you know your husband cant afford them? Mrs. Wise I just do it to please him. Mrs. Ascum To please him? Mrs. Wise Yes; there's nothing he likes better than a chance to have something to complain about to his own people and pose as a martyr. Philadelphia Ledger. TOUGH. "De luck of de small boy is fierce," groaned Tommy. "What now?" asked the cym pa thetic stranger. "Why do lightning struck houses and barns in dis village summer.' "That was bad." "And it never even scorched ten dis de schoolhouse." Chicago News. A GREAT SUCCESS. Magazine Publisher We've got a great magazine this taonth. Magazine Editor Yes, I think it's pretty good myself. That story ot Scribbler's is a corker. Magazine Publisher Oh, I haven't read anything In your section. But just look at thatr Two hundred and fourteen pages of advertising. Somerville Journal. THE LUCKY AMATEUR. "You went hunting while you were on your vacation, l near, uia you bring in anything?" "One small animal." "You don't say? What was it?" "A live dog." Philadelphia Press. ANOTHER FISH STORY. Edyth Jack and I are going on a fishing trip tomorrow. Mayme Tom and I went yester day. Edyth Did you catch anything? Mayme Nothing but Tom. ChicaA MYSTERY EXPLAINED. "It's strange that you should al ways to so gaunt," remarked the bear to the wolf. "Well, you see," replied the wolf, 'it's all because of the part I'm com pelled to play in life. You see, I'm always obliged to keep from the door until there's not a thing leTt in the house to eat." Philadelphia Press. EXPLAINED. "How does it happen that you never have any trouble in getting lecturers for Chautauqua circuits?" "We generally pick out men who have a hobby of some kind or an other, and they've just got to have somebody to talk to, you know." Chicago Tribune. DRAWING THE LINE. "I like to believe that all men are honest," said the moralizer. "Same here," rejoined the demoral izer; "still, I always draw the line at taking the same patent medicine for liver complaint that I use for toothache, no matter how the label reads." Chicago News. ON TO HIM. "Yes," said the red-eyed clerk. "I'm a little late this morning. The midnight oil, you know " "H'm!" interrupted his employer, "oil, eh? Well, the next time you paint the town I'd advise you to use water colors exclusively." Philadel phia Press. . A BAD DAY FOR EUCLID. Euclid fidgeted uneasily. "What's the use of your old geom etry," sobbed Mrs. E "if you can't solvo the servant problem?" Sadly and silently he departed for the intelligence office. New otk Sun. THE BLANKS. "It Is awful, mother," exclaimed Miss Blank, "to think I've got to marry that man! I suppose I must gothrough the ceremony, but really Tve got no heart for It." "You foolish girl!" replied her mother; "what has neart got to dc with It!" Old Blank mutters over his paper. "Sure enough!" Boston Transcript UNFORTUNATE FOR SPOONALL. "Want to marry mj'; daughter, do you?" said the Imanclal magnate, wheeling around in his chair. "Wh who said sot" gasped the young man. "Are you not young Spoonall? "No, sir, my name's Simpson. I've come to bring back a suit of clothes we Ironed for you this morning." "Oh, I see. Put the bundle on that chair. Good afternoon. The magnate looked at Ms watch and turned to his desk. Presently the door opened again. -"Well, what is it now?" he asked. "Do you want the pay for Ironing those clothes?" "N-no, sir," said an embarrassed voice l:hind him. "I'm Mr. Spoonall. I came hero according to appoint" 'Five minutes late, young man.. Good afternoon." Chicago Tribune A man's hair turns gray five year3 czz-: than a woman'?