Plymouth Tribune, Volume 3, Number 14, Plymouth, Marshall County, 7 January 1904 — Page 7

TEbe gtibune, HENDRICKS & CO., Publishers. advertisements to appear In TDE TKIB DNE mnst Xyc in before Tuesday noon toloure tnelr appearance In the Issue of that week.

Plymouth, Ind.; January 7 1904 Frank Thomas was a Lapaz visitor Jew Year's day. E. F. Short, of Knox, was a Plymouth vislto Saturday. Who is Hubbard? Ask the gentleman from Newton county. The old year made a had record by going out like a besom of destruction. E. T. Gallagher and T. A. Scantling are spending a few days in Columbia City. Miss Ada Haa returned Friday evening from a visit of a week with relatives in Chicago. Mrs. Alpha Ball bas gone to Chicago for a visit of a few davs with ber mother and other relatives in that city. Mrs. D. S- O'Brien and little Ruth Seider of Grovertown, spent New Year's day with relatives in Plymouth. Mrs. Page and Mrs. Klingman have returned to Chicago after a visit of several days with their sister, Mrs. Eockhill. Rev. Jacob Hester will begin a series of revival meetings at Shlloh church in North township. "Wednesday evening Jan. 6. C. E. Newton, editor of the Monticello Daily Journal, spent New Year's at the home of George Kleinschmidth in this city. C. W. Callahan, of Terre Haute, who has been spending several days with friends in this city, bas returned to bis borne. John Hubbard has been appointed by Mayor Knott to temporarily fill the vacancy caused by Ira Lower's absence in jail. Mrs.-James Stockwell, of Shelby. vilie, IM-, bas been spending a few days this week with her sister, Mrs. Frame W. Boss. A mas Saul and his sister. Miss Delia Saul have been visiting relatives here. They returned to their home at Plevna, Indiana Saturday. Mrs. Warren, of Hammond, a former resident of this city, and Mrs. Clifton, of Rochester, were visiting at Dr. Loring's Saturday. Miss Haines returned from Indianapolis New Year4s Eve much pleased with the great teachers' convention and with Indianapolis people and the city. ' Miss Mabel Jacoby has returned to herschool work at Marion after spending the holiday vacation with her parents, Mr. and Mrs. Josiah W. Jacoby. Thirty-four teachers of the public schools lost their lives in the Chicago fire and the school authorities have planned to close the schools Monday in their memory. Mrs. George, of Bucuyrus, Ohio, who has been visiting her daughter, Mrs. A. L. Schaal north of this city, left for Van Wert, Ohio, to visit before returning home. R. B. Zehoer and familv and A. J. Garman, all of Dunkirk, Ohio, visited the Zehners in this city and relatives at Kewanna during the holidays. They returned borne Saturday. In the circuit court Saturday John W. Parks and II. A. Logan, attorneys for the petitioners, drew second blood in the Yellow River Ditch prooceeding, when the court docketed their petition. Eighteen persons connected with the Iroquis theater have been arrested. It seems that the management of the spectacular display was such that a fire might have been expected at any time. , As a rule merchants report a much , better holiday trade than was antici- ; pated, with sales considerably greater than for the corresponding period last ' year. Chicago merchants claim it to have been their banner year. Mrs. Esther Ogtesbee and Miss Anna Z. Houghton who have been visiting Miss Jeanne Oglesbee and the family of Charles Toan, left for Huntington Saturday where both have ben employed as teachers in the public schools for several years. Joseph Harrison, of Chicago, went to Peru to accept a position with the Wallace circus, in winter quarters there, but when he found that he was to be paid $2 per w-jek aud board for lookiag after the big hippopotamus he tendered his resignation. The funeral of Urs. Zenobia Russell, the sister of the late Thomas K. John T7. and James K. Houghton and Mrs. Horace Corbin were held at the . residence of Charles Corbin on North Center street Sunday afternoon at 2.30. Cervices by Rev. W. S. Howard. I'rs. John Kleiner is here froir. Fcrx Wayne for a visit with her father, II. S. Grube and other relatives in VTcst townehip and thi3 vicinity. Mr. Hlftjmer 13 a detective of the Pennsylni ia railway and they are changing t-clr rccldecce from Fort Wayne to Cleveland, consequently she will be L:re until tliey est their good3 in l"2 tbero.

Miss Farrell Shafer vent to Argos today to visit over New Years. Mrs. A. E. Lamson went to Bourbon Thursday to visit until Sunday. Mrs. Hannah Smith, of Culver, weut to Argos to spend New Years, - Miss Maude Wiltfong is very seriously ill at her home on Michigan street Luther and El via McKinney went to Bourbon Thurday to visit until SunMay Miss Beukh Myers of South Bend, has gone to Argos after visiting in this city. " Mrs. J. K. Houghton and Miss Hollis Gibson went to Chicago Tbrsday for a visit of a week. Miss Vera Humridhouser went to Fort Wavne to spend New Year's with Miss Grace Durr. Miss Hattie Morris took a bright little boy from Brigbtside to a home at Decatur, Ind., Thursday. Lawrence Carvey went to Peru Wednesday to visit until Sunday with his father wbo resides In that city. James M. Heininger went to South Bend Thursday to see his children and bis wife went to Knlghtstown to visit hers. Commencing Monday, January 4, the grocery stores of Plymouth will close at 8 o'clock every evening except Saturday. Mrs. Searles and her father, Phlegmon Thompson are both reported quite sick. Nelson H. Kyser city clerk of South Bend, with his wife visited the family of his brother. J. M. Kyser in this city Thursday. Scores cf. persons were rescued at the Iroquois Theater fire by creeping across a narrow plank between the theater and another building. The woman's session of the Farmer's Institute will be held at the M. E. church January 14th, fur which a neat program bas bean arranged. Mr. and Mrs. Arthur Jacoby came down from Chicago to spend New Year's with their parents, Mr. and Mrs. Josiah Jacoby, east of town.

P. W. Reiser and family of Warsaw and John Grindelland family of Akron arrived Thursday to spend New Years with Mr. aud Mrs, James Reiser. Ben Wallace, the Peru circus man, is going into the banking business and has organized The Wabash Valley Trust Company, with a capital stock of $200,000. Elder J. B. Carter, of this city, will preach morning and evening at the U. B. Church next Lord's day. Pas tor Upson is assisting in protracted effort at Elkhart. The ice harvest Is progressing nicely. Mr. Med bourn informs in that all the bouses will be filled, which will give employment to our people for several weeks. Culver Citizen. Mr. and Mrs. Charles M. Lish, who were married last week and have been visiting their uncle, Benjamin Switzer, in this city went to Grovertown Thursday. Mrs Lish was Miss Grace Hall. Wheat advances. The big Armour holding and the war fears are the factors. Better demand prevails for corn and oats, with some increase in the speculative. Provisions move higher. The celebration of Japanese New Year is peculiar in some respects. Every Japanese is supposed to pay his debts. Every Japanese house is to be cleaned and every person is supposed to have a new suit of clothes. If you cannot think of any good new resolutions, take last year.s good intentions down .oil the shelf and brush the dust from them. They will look strange and unfamiliar enough to be almost as good as nev. Mrs. George Spittler and Mrs. Jacob Casey, of Argos, and Mrs. Thomas Medbourn and Mrs. Dayid Joseph, of Culver, four sisters, spent the holiday season visiting relatives and friends at North Vernon and other points in Jennings county. Many English doctors are now convinced tbat the eating of pigs' flesh Indifferent forms is greately responsible for the increase of cancer. They point out that it is most common among those whose chief meat is that of pigs, while the disease is extremely tare among the Jews, The district convention held here on Thursday to select a democratic member of the state committee who is also chairman of the Congressional Committee, or district chairman, brought some prominent democrats from all the counties" but there was not a large attendance. Isaac' n. Parker and wife have returned to Toledo, Ohio, after spending the holiday vacation with Isaac's father, Mr. Henry Parker, and other relatives here. Ike" bas grown quite fleshy and is really. Jt finer looking man th3n be was whpa he began teaching in this county twenty years ago. -. ' : - - i . Chicago is a city of mourning. The eyerwhelming dickster of Wednesday afternoon bas left sorrowing families in every part of the great city. The fate of the hundreds who met death almost instantly at an entertainment of music, comedy and spectacular display and the grief of those bereaved compels a feeling of sympathy tnrcu-Iicut the civilized r;crld.

And now it develops that the New York story about the rich man wbo offered a very large sum for an ear to replace the one be bad lost and wbo after his physician and searched high and low for a Suitable ear on a person willing to part with it finally found ne, is a hoax. The trial of the ten pupils of the Bluff ton high school charged with issault and battery upon Ralph Mo Gride, ended in a verdict for acquittal n Wednesday. McBride died a short lime after be had been hazed by the students and it was thought that the hazing was responsible for bis death, but the evidence failed to substantiate that theory. E. E. Zigler died at his home in West township at 3 o'clock Saturday morning, after a long illness of consumption. He was about 41 years old and leaves a wife and six children. Funeral services will be ht Id at the Dunkard church Tuesday. The remains will leave the house for the church at 10:30 a. m. Mayor narrison has closed eighteen theaters and concert balls in the dovmtown and outlying districts of Chicago the specific reason being that the stages are not provided with asbestos curtains. Various reforms will be demanded before 4he theaters are allowed to reopen and other orders are expected to issue which may close practically every theater in Chicago till the building ordinances are complied with. , Vernice Earl, son of Mr. Solomon Miller, died at Lapaz Junction, Christmas, aged six years. The deceased was a grandchild of Mr. and Mrs. Adam K. Rowe. The funeral was conducted Sunday by Rev. Martin Luther Peter. The mortal, remains were placed in the Fair cemetery. Two weeKs previous a younger child of Mr. Miller, was buried. The sorrowing family have the heart felt sympathy of the community. During the recent cold snap Geo. VVyant and son of Ober were out hunting they came upon a strange trail which they supposea was some animal dragging a trap. They followed it for about a mile and a half where it was treed in the ground. Upon digging they found a large blue racer snake. This is not a snake story but a fact, and they both file affidavit to the same or produce his snakeship. Culver Citizen.

Banner State For Gems. Where Is the banner diamond country in the United States? Could you ever guess? Why of course in faraway Arizona, in Alaska, in California, or somewhere a long way off! All wrong. Indiana has the honor. The state has been officially declared the banner state for real diamonds. This Information comes In one of the interesting monographs issued by the United States Bureau of Mining and Mineral Resources, of which Dr. David K. Day fs chief. George F. Kunz, a celebrated expert on precious stones, In a review of the diamond production of the United States, imparts the Information that Indiana, In addition to its claim for fame in all other sorts of greatness, is the leading diamond state. He gives an interesting review of diamonds found in different sections of the country, and, according to bis review, the best one found in recent years was that picked upby Old Man" Calvin -Stanley, while washing gold, in 1900, along Gold creek, In Morgan county, Indiana. The diamond in the rough weigh, ed three and three-quarter karats and sold in the open market for over $200. It was split and made into two ring settings. Besides having the honor of yielding the largest diamond in recent years. Indiana is also credited with yielding more diamonds and better ones than any other state. All of them have been found by gold washers in Brown and Morgan counties. Besides the diamonds, emeralds, pearls, amethysts, garnets, rubies and other gems are found. Indianapolis News How's This? We offer One HuDdreJ Dollars Howard for any case of Catarrh that cannot be cured by Hall's Catarrh Cure. F. J. CHENEY & Co. Toledo, O. We, the undersigned, have known F. J. Cheney for the last 15 years and believe him perfectly honorable in all Jbusinestträneaettons and financially able to carry out any obligations made by their firm. West & Truax Wholesale Druggists. ToledOjO.WALDiNO Kinam& Makvk j Wholesale Druggists. Toledo, O. Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken internally, acting directly upon the blood and mnc ous surfaces of the system. Testimonial? sent free. Price 75 cents per bottle Sold by all DruggiBts. Take Hall's Family Pills for constipation. fictel fetes St. Louis World's Kir. For copy of World's Fair official pamphlet, naming hotel accommodations and rates during Universal Exposition of 1904, address E. A: Ford, General Passenger Agent Pennsylvania Vandalla lines, Pittsburgh, Pa. It Keeps the FectVcrtn nd Dry. Ask today for Allen's Foot-Ease, a powder. It cures chilblaln3, swollen, sweating, v sore aching, damp feet. At all druggists and shoe stores, 25c. 2(67,461

DEATH OF CAFI. PABST Head of tha Milwaukee Brewery Company Goes to nil Rest at the Ag-e of 67 Tear. . Milwaukee, Jan. 2. Captain Frederick Fabst, president of the Fabst Brewing company, Is dead at his residence, 2000 Grand avenue. While the member of his family and his friends knew that he was suffering from an incurable disease, and that he could not lire more than a few months longer, his death came quite suddenly and unexpectedly. He was 67 years of age last March.- Captain Pabst seemed to realize that the end had come, and talked with his family about his affairs until ten minutes before his death, when he became unconscious and passed quietly away. Captain Pabst had been in failing health for the last four or five years, but his condition was not considered serious and did not alarm his family. But a change for the worse cam In February of last year, and reports were sent out that the well-known brewer was dying of diabetes. He rallied, however, but early last month Dr. William I skr. of John Hopkins university, an expert, pronounced the case without hop. The genial nature which had been Captain Pabst's chief characteristic dcring life did not desert him until his tongue wrE stilled and his eyes closed in death. nis dying words were words of cheer and encouragement to those whom he has left beLmd to mourn his loss. DEATH OF GEN. LONGSTILEET

Celebrated Confederate Inender I'atnes to III Best After an Ulaess of ßut Two Days. Atlanta. Ca., Jan. 4. General Jas. Lonpstreet, soldier, statesman and diplomat, and the last lieutenant general of the Confederate army with the exGUNHHAL. JAMES LONaSTKHET. ception of General Cordon, is dead at Gainesville, Ga., from an attack of acute pneumonia. He had been ill two days. General Longstreet was a sufferer from cancer of cue eye, but his general health had been good until last Wednesday, when be was seized with a sudden cold, developing later into pneumonia of violent nature. He was S4 years old. He will be buried. in Gainesville. General James Longstreet was born In Edgefield district, Soulh Carolina, Jan. 8, 1S21. His famüy removed to Alabama in 1S31 and from that state lie was appointed to the military academy at West Point, where he was graduated in 1842. Early In his career he served in the Mexican war, and for gallant conduct In that service was breveted captain and major successively. He was severely wounded at the 6torming of Chapultepe'c He joined the Confederates in lSfil and was immediately made brigadier general and won distinction at the battle of Bull Itun. He was so prominent in the battle of the Wilderness that he was wounded by the fire of his own troops. He was in the surrender at Appomattox, April 0, lSr. Throughout the army he was known familiarly as "Old Pete" and was considered the hardest fighter in the Confederate service. General I.onprstreet's funeral will take place tomorrow afternoon, his remains lying in state in the court house all morning. He will be given full military honors. ' Held Up by Highwaymen. Cineinn.U'. Jan. 4. Highwaymen held up II. A. Cochrane, station agent of the Cincinnati, Hamilton and Day ton railway at Glendale, securing 350 in money and valuable papers. Zero Weather In the Soatwest. Kansas City, Mo., Jan. 4. Zero weather prevails in this portion of the southwest, the coldest of the Eeason. PRESIDENT'S BE CEPTION Comes Oft Dnly with the Usual Fine Display or Men and Women and Costume. Washington, Jan. 2. With all its customary display of "fair women and brave men" ai:d their co-stumes, rich and brLlilant. the annual reception at the White House on New Year's day took place. The reception began at 11 a. m., and followed its precedents In the matter of precedence in the line, diplomats coining first, and, strange to say, the sovereigns coming last The reception concluded at 2:11 p. m. There was one new diplomat present Bunau-Varilla and one old one absent, Dr. Ilerran, Colombia's envoy. New Year's day was generally observed here and elsewhere In the large cities and abroad. At all the European capitals the day was duly observed. Here there were any number of private parties and receptions and also many among the officials of the government - . t Battled Ice for Two Week. Sault Ste. Marie, Mich., Dec. 31. After a fierce battle of two weeks with the ice. in St. Mary's river the steamer Monarch, of the Northern Navigation company, has been released and left Detour for Sarnia. Costly Fire at Hammond. - Hammond, Ind.,. Dec. 31., Fire almost totally destroyed the plant of the Chicago Steel company. The rolling department alone was saved and the loss is estimated at $75,000.

A. HISTORICAL DUEL. THIRTEEN SWORDSMEN SLAIN DY ONE MAN BEFORE AN ARMY.

A Scene More Exciting Than Any Dattle In the Aunals of Modern illiitory Ten Thousand Witnesses to the Terrible Work of One Suurd. To give an idea of what a brave man can do if he knows fencing thoroughly and but keeps cool and collected in danger we will relate a historical duel. So extraordinary is this combat that it would be held a romance had it not been witnessed by a whole army. The hero is Jean Louis, one of the great masters of the beginning of last cen-" tury, and the duel hapiencd in Madrid in 1813. He vas the master-at-arms of the Thirty-second regiment of French Infantry. The First regiment composed entirely of Italians, formed part of the same brigade. Regimental esprit do corps and rivalries of nationality caused constant quarrels, when swords were often whipped out or bullets exchanged. After a small battle had occurred In the streets of Madrid, in which over 200 French and Italian soldiers had taken part the officers of the two regiments, in a council of war assembled, decided to give such breaches of order a great blow and to re-establish discipline. They decreed that the masters-at-arms of the two regiments should take up the quarrel and fight it out Imagine a w hole army in battle array on one of the large plains that surround Madrid. In the center a large ring is left open for the contestants. This spot is raised above the plain so that not one of the spectators of this tragic scene gayl; dressed officers, soldiers in line, Spaniards, excited as never a bull fight excited them will miss one phase of the contest. It is before 10,000 men that the honor of an army is about to be avengi'd in the blood of thirty brave men. The drum is heard. Two men, naked to the waist, step in the ring. The first is tall and strong. His black eyes roll disdainfully upon the gaping crowd. He is Glacomo Ferrari, the celebrated Italian. The second, tall, also handsome and with muscles like steel, stands modestly awaiting the word of command. His name Is Jean Louis. The seconds take their places on either side of their principals. A deathlike silence ensues. "On guard T The two masters cross swords. Giacorao Ferrari lunges repeatedly at. lean Louis, but in vain. His every thrust Is met by a parry. lie makes up ids mind to bide ins chance and caresses and tenses Iiis opponent's blade. Jean Louis, calm and watchful, lends himself to the play, when, quicker than lightning, the Italian jumps aside with a loud yelLand makes a terrible lunge at Jean Louis, a Florentine trick, often successful. Rut with extraordinary rapidity Jean Louis has parried and risposts quickly in the shoulder. "It is nothing." cries Giacomo; "a mere scratch." And they again fall on guard. Almost directly he is hit In the breast. This time the sword of Jean Louis, who is now attacking, penetrates deeply. Giacomo's face becomes livid, his sword drops from his hand, and he falls heavily on the turf. He Is dead. Jean Louis Is already in position. He wipes his reeking blade; then, with the point of his sword on the ground, he calmly awaits the next man. The best fencer of the First regiment has just been carried away a corpse, but the day Is not yet over. Fourteen adversaries are there, impatient to measure swords with the conqueror, burning to avenge the master they had deemed invincible. Jean Louis hardly had two minutes rest He is ready. A new adversary stands before him. A sinister click of swords is heard, a lunge, a parry, a rispost and thm a cry, a sigh, and all is over. A second body is before Jean Louis. A third adversary advances. They want Jean Louis to rest "I atü not tired." he answers, with a mile. The signal is given. The Itahan is as tall as the one who lies there a corpse covered by a military cloak. He has closely watched Jean Louis play and thinks he has guessed the secret of his victories. He multiplies his feints and tricks; then, all at once, bounding like a tiger on his prey, he gives his opponent a terrible thrust in the lower line. But Jean Louis' sword has parried and Is now deep within his opponent's breast. What need we to relate any more? Ten new adversaries followed him, and the ten fell before Jean Louis amid the excited yells and roars of an army. ' At the request of the Thirty-second regiment's colonel, who thought the lesson sufficient Jean Louis after much pressing consented to stop the combat and he shook hands with the two survivors, applauded by 10,000 men. From that day fights ceased between French and Italian soldiers. This wonderfuf-nd gigantic combat might be held a fable were not all the facts above stated still found in the archives of the ministry of war. LIppincott's. DUELING IN AMERICA. The First Fatal . Meeting Wai t'pon Historic Boston Common. The first fatal duel fought in what 1 now the United States was upon Boston Common, between Benjamin Woodbridge and Henry Phillips, on the evening of July 3, 1728. These young men had quarreled over cards at the Boyal Exchange tavern In King street now State street and under the influence of drink had agreed to settle their differenceSj with swords in the public grounds above named. They met at a little after 8 o'clock in the evening, and Woodbridge was mortally wounded and was found dead the following morning. Both were gentlemen of good social position. Phillips was a brother of Gillam Phillips, who married Marie, the sister of Peter Faneuil, the builder of Boston's famous ball. Woodbridge had not completed bis twentieth year. He was a young merchant who had recently been admitted to business as a partner with Jonathan Sewail, one of the most active merchants of the place. Henry Phillips, a young graduate of the college of Cambridge, was about four years older than Woodbridge, having at the time of this melancholy affair comploted his twenty-third year.

TTieGbf&g wst the son cf a retrtteraaa of some distinction in Barbados one of the magistrates there, who had formerly been settled In the ministry as pastor in Groton. Conn. The place of meeting was on the rising grounds of the Common, not far from the great elm. near where in the olden time, a powder house stood. Small swords were used. No one but themselves .participated. Woodbridgp fell mortally wounded and died on the spot before the next morning. Phillips was slightly wounded and at midnicM. by the aid of his brother Gillam and Peter Faneuil, of famous memory. made his escape to the Sheerness, a British man-of-war then lying in the harbor, and before the sun of the next morning had fully discovered to interested friends the miserable result of the unfortunate meeting be was on his way ,to France, where he died in less than a year of grief and a broken heart United Serviere Review.

A SHORT ANSWER. The rteplr Tkat Bismarck Made to an Admirable Speech. I like to think of old Bismarck as he sat by the window that opens on the windy park of Friedrichsruh In on old gray shooting jacket, a rug over his knees, a pipe in his hand, simple as u north German farmer, this man who had almost held Europe in fee. A little while before this February day he had been deposed from power. All the world knew that the old lion was sulking in his den in no amiable mood toward the young emperor who had turned him out of doors. It was known that his memoirs were written and that his correspondence was set in order. A New York publisher thought he might secure the papers In which Bismarck had told the real story of the birth of the German empire that strange story of craft and heroism, littleness and grandeur. It was on this mission that I sailed for Hamburg. I had two letters for Bismarck. One was from a negligible ambassador. The other had been given. me by a German statesman of some note with whom in other days I had been a student In the University of Jena. My friend had been a familiar of Bismarck's household and bespoke me a kindly hearing. I sent the letters on from Hamburg and followed the next day. On the table at his elbow as he sat by the window I noticed my letters. The valet who had placed a chair for me took his stand by the door. I said what I had to say. It was (permit me to affirm it) an admirable speech. For ten days and nights I bad rehearsed it as I paced the deck of the s'tormy liner, so in tolerable German I declaimed it It was dignified: it was diplomatic. When I had finished Bismarck took the pipe from his lips, said "Nein" and put the pipe back again. 'Twas the shortest answer I ever had In my life. I waited for a moment The old man smoked and stared out into the park. I got up and bowed. I had rehearsed that bow and did not intend to waste it. I bowed to his old hairless head, the flabby yellow jowls and. big mustache, to the old gray jacket and the pipe. It was like salaaming to a stone wall. Then the valet led me out In the park I re-' gained my senses. a nee Thompson in Success. BRAHMAN PROVERBS. He that coinrnitteth no evil bath nothing to fear. . Mix kindness with reproof and reason with authority. Of much speaking cometu repentance, but in silence is safety. The lirst step toward being 'Wise is to know that thou art ignorant Envy not the appearance of happiness in any man. for thou knowest not his secret griefs. Indulge not thyself in the passion of anger. It is whetting a sword to wound thine own breast. Consider and forget not thine ows weakness, so shalt thou pardon the failings of others. The heart of the envious man Is gall and bitterness. The success of his neighbor breaketh his rest. This instant is thine. The next is in the womb of futurity, and thou knowest not what it may bring forth. As a veil addeth to beauty, so are a man's virtues set off by the 'shade whicji his modesty casteth upon him. As the ostrich when pursued hideth his head, but forget teth his body, so the fears of a coward expose him to danger. As It Is Said. Hoax Do you know that thin fellow over there? Joax Oh, yes: we are very thick. Hoax Ard do you know the big fat one? Joax Sligntly. Philadelphia Record. Cutting. Clara Oh. hum! I wish the Lord had made ne a man! Mother Perhaps he has. dear: .only you haven't found him yet. New York Ttmcs. The Charee Sustained. The householder was duly sworn. "You charge this man with being insane." said the court. " "On what do you base the charge?" "Well, your honor," said the witness, vainly tryiug to choke down his emotion, "this man is a plumber. My pipes were out of fix. I sent for him. He fixed 'em In fifteen minutes. When I asked for his bill he said that was all right, because it didn't take him long, and he had another job in my neighborhood anyhow." "A hopeless case!" exclaimed his honor as he signed the commitmentBaltimore News. The Catastrophe. "Did you hear about the catastrophe down at the Browns' last night?" "No. What happened?" . "Why, Mrs. Brown gave the baby a bottle to play with, and while she was in the kitchen it fell out of the cradle and broke its neck." "What the baby?" "No; the bottle." . A Fearful Dream. ßobbs--OId Titewadd Is about dead from Insomnia. Says he is afraid to go to sleep. Dobbs Does he fear burglars? Bobbs No; but the last time he s'ept he dreamed of giving away his money.

THE WILY RED tyAN. me Instances of the Indians' Quickness at Wit. Numerous Instances of the red man's quickness of wit are related by those who have had dealings with him. A Canadian chief was looking idly on while some Englishmen were hard at work improving property newly acquired from the dusky tribe. "Why don't you work?" asked the supervisor of the thief. ' "Why you no work yourself?" was the rejoinder. "I work headwork," replied the white man, touching his forehead. "But come here and kill this calf for me. and I'll give you a quarter." The Indian stood still for a moment apparently deep in thought and then he went off to kill the calf. Why don't you finish your Job?" presently asked the supervisor, seeing the man stand with folded arms over the unsklnned, undressed carcass. "You say you give me quarter to Kill calf," was the reply. "Calf dead. Me want quarter." The white man smiled and handed the Indian an extra coin to go on with the work. "How is It,' asked the Englishman one day tfter a series of such one sided dealings, "that you so often get the better of me?" "I work headwork," solemnly replied the man of the woods. . A white trader once succeeded in selling a large quantity of gunpowder to one of this tribe on the assurance that it was a new kind that the white man used for seed and if sown in especially prepared loam would yiehl an amazing crop. Away went the Indian to sow bis powder and in his hope of making money from his fellows was careful not to mention his enterprise. When at last, however, he realized how he had been duped he held his tonguo for a year or more until the trickster had completely forgotten the occurrence. Then he went to his hoaxer's store and bought goods on credit amounting to a little more than the price of the planted gunpowder. He had th,e reputation of a good payer, and his scheme worked easily. When settling day came, the creditor called promptly. -Klght" said the Indian slowly "right but my powder not yet sprouted. Me pay you when me reap him."

CURED BY SARCASM. A Lesson In the l'e of Simple Terns In Letter Wi-Itla. A few months ago the son of a railway director was through his father's influence given a position of some importance on a large railway. He was fresh from Cambridge, and in the orders which he fiom time to time issued to the men under him always made use of the longest, most unusual words. This habit led to some rather expensive blunders, and. the matter coming before the general manager, ho wrote the young official the following letter: "In promulgating your esoteric cogitations and in articulating your superficial sentimentalities and amicable philosophical or psychological observations beware of platitudinous ponderosity. Let your conversational communication possess a clarified conciseness, a compacted comprehensiveness, a coalescent consistency and a concatenated cogency. Eschew all conglomeration of flatulent garrulity. Jejune babblement and asinine affectation. Let your extemporaneous descantings and unpremeditated expatiation have Intelligibility and veracious vivacity, without rbodomontade or thrasonical bombast Sedulously avoid all polysyllabic profundity, ventriloquial verbosity and vaniloquent vapidity. Shun double entendre, prurient jocosity and pestiferous profanity, obscurant or apparent In other words, talk plainly, briefly, naturally, sensibly, purely and truthfully. Don't put on airs; say what you mean; mean what you say. and don't use big words." The young official took the . gentle hint and changed his style. London Tit-Bits. Doing Europe. Facilities for traveling nowadays are so accelerated that it is quite possible for the tourist to pass through five European countries In fourteen hours, barring accidents namely. England, Trance, Belgium, Germany and Holland. Take the express from Charing Cross to Dover and cross over to Calaistwo countries. Then viith the intercontinental express ycu proceed to Brussels three countries. From the Belgian capital by train to Aix-Ia-Chapelle which is German territory, making the fourth country, and after allowing time for a meal a drive to Vaals. in Holland, makes the fifth country- and all in fourteen hours. An Odd Collection. An entertainer who visited the Fiji islands and gave his performance before the natives had the following receipts foi one night: Four sucking pigs, 800 cocoa nuts, 1.000 of a common class of moonstone collected on the beach, 40 pearls, 23 model canoes, 200 yards of native cloth. 42 Fiji costumes. 3 whale's teeth, hundreds of sharks teeth, on.; or two cart loads of beautiful coral, war implements, such as spears, knobsticks and knives, native mats and pillows and 7 grog bowls. A Natural Misapprehension. "You say the audience laughed when you recited 'Marco Bozzaris' in Chicagor "Yes," answered Mr. Stormingtor. Barnes. "You see. when I came to the lines beginning 'Striker the people thought It was a local allusion."--Washington Star. When a man will kill himself because a woman refuses to marry him it is conclusive evidence that the woman was right Baltimore Herald. loanr Mexican Accidentally Shot, Monterey, Mexico, Jan. 2. Alejandro Reyes, the 9-year-okl son of Governor Reyes, was accidentally shot In the back by J. Olivers, a boy with whom be and four other young boys were hunting. The wound will not prove serious. Off the Illinois Central Map. Carbondale, 111., Jar. 2. The city of Cape Girardeau, Mo., has been taken off the map of the Illinois Central road, and hereafter' no Illinois Central trains will be run Into tbat city.