People's Pilot, Volume 6, Number 30, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 14 January 1897 — In Elysium. [ARTICLE]

In Elysium.

The leading lady danced a jig, And turned a somersault; The manager was bright with smiles, He found no word of fault; All salaries were promptly paid Just two months In advance; To play Hamlet and Romeo Each super got a chance! The prompter didn’t have to prompt, The leader didn’t storm; Comedians refused to “gag," And said it wasn’t “form;” There was no "paper” in the house, And ushers were polite; Fine notices the critics all Proceeded to indite. The ladies’ hats were telescoped So one could see the stage; The bald heads were escorted home And shut up In a cage; The actors never jealous got; There was no racing scone. There was no tank, there was no crank, But all things seemed serene. The ballet was of course superb— How juvenile they were! Each was in lightness and in grace A summer gossamer! The puns were splendid and all fresh, The situation new; The dialogue as sparkling as The early morning dew. “Oh, Joy! ’tls the millennium!" I shouted, when a hand . Was laid upon my shoulder with The pressure of command, With evident embarassment Up from my stat I rose; “My good man,” said an usher there, “This is no place to doze!” —New York Clipper. All the different forms of skin troubles, from chapped hands to eczema and indolent ulcers can be readily cured by DeWitt’s Witch Hazel Salve, the great pile cure. Sold by A. F. Long.