People's Pilot, Volume 5, Number 34, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 February 1896 — The Great Man. [ARTICLE]

The Great Man.

The great man was so great that he held thirty million two-legged animalß In his left hand and thirty-five million in his right, in perfect balance. At the same time a great eagle appeared at Washington. When the eagle spread out his wings they tpuched Boston and San Francisco at the same time. The great man took the great bird on his hands and named the great eagle “Congress.” He decided to break the eagle to be a gentle servant for his private service. In his boundless wisdom he decided not to use physical force but to starve nearly to death, and it was a success. The great man then said, "My little country is not fit for a great man; guess I will take a trip to Jupiter and give that little globe an object lesson, and my eagle will fetch me there.” He then cut a large piece of meat out of a farmer’s heap, put the meat on the point of his sword, seated himself on the eagle’s neck, holding the sword in his right hand, with the meat twelve inches ahead of the bird’s head, and a black-snake in his left hand, whipping the bird all the time in order to make his meat tender. The eagle, flying for the meat, shot through the air like a cannon ball. As the air was full of road dust from below and meteor dust from above, the great man’s eyes became of no account. For the sake of producing light he put a gold piece in his mouth, but still the Egyptian darkness prevailed; he" then swore by his graetness that gold was of no account at Jupiter. Presently the eagle collided with a great wall, and the great man touched solid ground, but darknesß still prevailed. “Where am I at? Perhaps in hades! I desire a better place. I have changed my friends and my party, and I took my nation by the throat and choked the life out of her; but if I am In hades it is a step in the right direction. I will meet the rich man here.” Presently the rich man appeared, plated with gold and powdered with diamonds. Seeing a little animal crawling on the ground with a yellow speck in its mouth, he picked it up with his right hand and put it in the palm of his left, looked at it but could not tell what It was; he put it under a powerful microscope and pronounced it to be a genuine Jftnerlcan “gold bug.” Well, the rich man charged ten million dollars for entertainment and a return ticket. The farmers paid the bill.—J. Fatland, Newark, 111.

Of course the Populist platform of the coming campaign will be called the "St. Louis’- platform—but It will embrace the true and eternally right principles of the old Omaha platform.