People's Pilot, Volume 5, Number 23, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 5 December 1895 — If He Were President. [ARTICLE]

If He Were President.

Prof. Dobbyn, of the Progressive Age, having suggested Ignatius Donnelly for president, the “Sage of Nininger” replies as follows in his paper, The Representative : “Ah! If people only had the wisdom to elect us president! “Whew!! “Five minutes after we took the oath of office we would recognize the Cuban republic; in ten minutes we would order all the silver bullion in the treasury coined into dollars; in fifteen minutes we would convene congress to remonetize silver; in halt an hour we would order Wall street fenced in, whitewashed and deodorized; and in one hour John Bull would be seen gathering up his ‘duds’ and skedaddling out of this afflicted country. “We would ‘make a spoon or spoil a horn.’ We would! “But alas, professor, the fool people haven’t got sense enough to do so sensible a thing; and so we will continue to edit the Representative and swear at the environment. ’’