People's Pilot, Volume 5, Number 12, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 12 September 1895 — WHAT OTHERS SAY. [ARTICLE]

WHAT OTHERS SAY.

A preacher, at the close of service, during which he had perpetrated a long and tedious sermon, requested the board to remain after dismission. When the others had left the preacher noticed a stranger sitting in the pew. looking expectant. Upon being asked if he wanted anyi thing the stranger said. "No; but you invited the bored to remain and I do not know of anybody who was worse bored thin ;I whs.” This was not in ten ; miles of Eureka. Eureka Jouri nal. An exchange says that a hum- ■ ble boy with a shining nail went ! singing gaily down the vale, to where a cow with brindle tail, on the alfalfa did regale. A bumblebee did gaily sail, over the soft and shady vale, to where the boy with shining pail, was milking the cow with brindle tail. The bee lit down on the cow's left ear. her feet, flew up through the atmosphere, and through the leaves of a cottonwood tree, the boy soared into eternity. A telephone line is to be constructed between Rensselaer and Remington. A line between Goodland and Remington would give this place connection with Rensselaer. The ’phones used are much better than the present commercial instruments. The Leader expects that every farm house will soon be joined in this way.—Fowler Leader. A correspondent from the western part of the township sends us the following item which possibly properly belongs in the strayed or stolen column. Our friend says: Last Saturday a goat put in a sudden appearance at one of the farms of western Grant causing general commotion. The small boy took to the top rail of the fence and the cat flew to the roof of the mill house with her ornamental appendage largest. Upon close inspection the hieroglyphics on the horns of this goat indicate prehistoric age. It can not be the K. P. goat as it is totally de void of friendship Being alone it may be an Oddfellow. If any secret order has lost their goat they can get it by proving property and paying our correspondent for his trouble in adver-tising.—-Goodland Herald.

It is bad enough when Willie wears the pants his mamma made, and it often knocks you 'silly just to see the youthful , blade wearing pants that no man knoweth which is front or back —if he cometh or he goeth there is quite an equal "slack” But you Susie? Oh. ’tis galling; scalding tears will downward 1 glance, when you hear the urj chins calling: "Say, where did I you get them pants?” You will ■see her youthful, glowing, but .by no dead certan rule, can you tell if she is going or coming ! home from school —There’ll be I trouble you'll allow sirs, there’ll ! be anguish for our pas when the daughters all wear trousers that ! are revamped from their mas. So I'm weeping as I'm writing and my great tears fall like , pears, scarce I know what I'm inditing for I am sorry for the ' girls.—Exchange. The peppermint crop in northern Indiana has been harvested and distilled. Frosts, drought and grasshoppers contributed to a short but the price is up. —Monticello Herald. A merchant in an eastern state advertised for a young woman for light-housekeeping. A girl wrote him in answer to the advertisment, asking him where the light-house was located, and if there was any way of getting ashore Sunday nights.—Lowell Tribune A sharp fellow tried to get away with a lawyer by inviting him to dine and then charging him for his dinner and wine,, but the lawyer reported him for selling liquor without a license and pocketed half the fine for giving the information. Better let lawyers be.—Lowell Tribune. A western paper tells of a fellow who every time he gets on a spree, insists on paying for a year’s subscription to his town paper. However, as the editor fails to mention the particular brand of whisky this fellow is drinking, the value of the above item is almost "wholly lost so far as it interests other newspaper men.