People's Pilot, Volume 5, Number 8, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 August 1895 — JOURNALISTIC JABS. [ARTICLE]

JOURNALISTIC JABS.

The United States is the only nation on earth that is begging money from foreigners to keep itself alive. —Farmer’s Voice. Davy Crockett's motto was be sure you are right and go ahead. The populists know their principles are founded upon the bedrock of eternal truth, consequently will keep up a constant warfare until right triumphs over wrong. Logansport Advance. A fellow by the name of Mitchell. a southern bank president, has written a book favoring the gold standard. In it he says that if all the nations in the world should demonetize gold it would Ifise none of its commercial value. That is, if you destroy the market for an article it will not affect the price of the article. Great Scott! What are lunatic asylums for while a fellow with a mind like that is at large.-Ex.

It leaks out from Washington that the Cleveland presidential program is foi Mr. Cleveland to be nominated by acclamation, with the understanding that he will decline the honor, thus placing himself beside Washington as having declined a third term. It is his desire that the convention then nominate John G. Carlisle. It is our judgment that, if this is Mr. Cleveland’s plan, it will miscarry. Mr. Carlisle is persona non grata, as the diplomats say, to too large a fob lowing in the president’s party? A man just as surely a gold bug will be chosen, but it will be one whom the bosses can make appear a silverite until after the election.- Progressive Farmer.

When the gold-bug parties have to call to their aid Eli Perkins, the man whose only reputation comes from his ability to tell big lies, they are in straits sure enough. We would advise Eli to hold up until he has had time to consult his Uncle Consider.—Progressive Farmer. A good, honest farmer was standing in front of the court house yesterday looking mournfully at his tax receipt. He said: •“I brought a bale of cotton here five years ago; sold it for $49.25. With this money I paid my taxes, #22; got a dress for my wife, #5; shoes for the children, #6; a barrel of flour, #6.50; fifty pounds of sugar, $4: ten pounds of coffee. $2, and went home happy with $3.75 in my pocket for the preacher. I brought in a bale to-day; sold it for $22.50; paid my taxes, $22.25, and have a quarter left. They tell me I can get flour and frocks and sugar and shoes for half I paid then, but it ’pears to me 1 hain’t got the half. I've made up my mind to invest this quarter in United States bonds and howl for the gold standard." Birmingham State.

Grover (at the telephone)— Hello! Is that you, Carle? Carlisle—Yes, Grov.; what can Ido for you? Grover—Call up Belmont’s supply store and ask them to send me a lot of the best gold bugs they have. I must have good bait to catch suckers this year.—Hardy Herald. Disguise the fact as you may, the principal objection to the free and unlimited coinage of silver is that it will offend “Wall street” and the gold speculators. That little gold game is quite profitable, and they could, perhaps. arrange for another slice of bonds.-American Bimetallist.

It is unsafe at all times that the treasury of the United States government should be compelled to barter with any cabal of bankers and financiers either in America or Europe for the pro-

tection and the maintenance of its monetary prestige. Such an instance, or a few instances, of this character is by no means a gurantee of protection and solvency. though this has been done it is an ignoble confession, and should make every true patriot blush with shame.-To Date, Chicago What is needed to make your farm pay? money, says the farmer. What would restore prosperity to commerce? More money, replies the merchant. Why are not things booming in this marvelously rich country? There is no money, answers the man amidst the unoccupied acres in the rich west. The common millions answer thus. But the lone banker, sitting in his richly upholstered chair, waiting fur h's victim, as the spider waits for the fly, knows more, in his own estimation, than all the rest, and tells us that our whole trouble is over-production and natural reaction from a great prosperity.—Farmer’s Voice.

Commencing Sunday, July 28, and continueing every Sunday thenafter until further notice, round trip excursion tickets will be sold between any two stations on the L., N. A. & C. railroad when the regular one way rate is not less than 25 cents or more $3.50 at rate of one fare for the round trip. Tickets sold only on Sundays good returning on date of sale. Half of this rate for children between five and twelve years of age. W. H. Beam, agent.

Isaac Glazebrook employs in his blacksmith, horseshoeing and wagon repairing shop more workmen than any other like establishment in Jasper county.