People's Pilot, Volume 4, Number 44, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 27 April 1895 — This Settles It. [ARTICLE]

This Settles It.

Having settled that Russian thistles are a blessing, Pound Sterling Morton will next decide that chinch bugs are a very desirable thing to have around. Then he will issue a circular setting forth that the weevil and Hessian fly are much slandered insects and the curculio not half so bad as he is painted. The gopher will get a eulogistic sendoff and the honors of knighthood will be conferred upon the jack-rabbit His plan of reform will be complete by a mathematical demonstration that grasshopper soup is the greatest blessing that can come-to farmers under a democratic administration. If Morton had Jived in the days of Pharaoh matters would have been much simplified in the means taken to soften that tyrant’s heart. Instead of issuing them in series, all the plagues of Egypt would have been concentrated by turning loose a sample of the pothouse politician out of which we make cabinet officers these days.—Noncon.