People's Pilot, Volume 4, Number 28, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 28 December 1894 — Politeness. [ARTICLE]

Politeness.

Written for the Pilot. True politeness is something | that is both commendable and desirable, Without this accomplishment no education is complete. no Christian measure full, yet it is something with which a great many are only partially acquainted. We call the man or woman polite who in every act, word or look follow the arbitrary rules of etiquette. They bow just so low, grin just so broad because rule 10 page 61 of some book on manners says for them so to do. They sip tea from a spoon and carve a bean with a fork simply because some seemingly polite person choses to do so. When in company these “apera” are in constant toil trying to observe arbitrary rules, they go feeling their way along like blind people; nothing natural in their acts, the rules they are following making of them mere machines. All the pleasure there is in association is often lost by the constant fear of violating rules of book politeness. Go to some fashionable party, or banquet and notice how the guests are on trial, how straight they sit, how sickly and silly they smile, if it is fashionable to “tee hee” they all “tee hee,” if it is stylish to “ha ha,” they all “ha ha,” everything is said apd done according to rule nothing natural, all rigid and formal. Now, is there any real politeness in this, is there any pleasure in making ourselves slaves to such rules of conduct?

Good manners or politeness, according to our ideas, consist in making ourselves agreeable to others, making others feel at ease in our company, avoiding the doing and saying of those things that we know will be offensive to those with whom we are associating. We may, unfortunately, be adicted to bad habits such as swearing, chewing, smoking and the like, but if we are truly polite we will not practice these things in the presence of those to whom we know such to be offensive. The young man or woman who is boisterous, either in public or private, to most people, is not desirable company. The boy who is forever laughing like a hyena, kicking like a horse, and yelling like a wounded “yaeho” is not polite, is not desirable company, but is really a great burden to civilized society. To be genteel it is not absolutely necessary that we know how to move gracefully and talk fluently.

The old illiterate and uncultivated rustic who gives us a welcome shelter beneath his thatched roof and who by his conduct makes us fed that it does his heart good to share his frugal faie with us, is really pflite. He makes us feel that every word and act is prompted by pure motives; we know he is not trying to follow rules, not trying to appear polite, but trying to actually please us.. We have but little respect for the man or woman who tieates us politely for mere manners’ sake. They give us this tieitnent through respect for themselves and not for us.

With these ideas of politeness we would say to our young readers, be polite not selfish, not in order that you may appear ( intelligent and refined, but that you may be agreeable and desirable company. Mrs. Ira Gray returned to her home in Monon yesterday, after a three weeks’ visit with her parents, Mr. and Mrs. J. C. Thrawls,