People's Pilot, Volume 4, Number 16, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 5 October 1894 — McVicker's Theater. [ARTICLE]

McVicker's Theater.

Canary & Lederer’s supremo production from the Casino, Now York, entitled “Thfe Passing Show,” will begin Sept. 80, brie week only. Heats secured by mail. Stern Employer—“l hpar you were at the ball game yesterday afternoon?” Office Boy—“ Yes, sir.” SterrtEmployer—“l suppose you were on the qul vive?” Office Boy —•“No, sir. I was on pe fence.” A minister who had difficulty in keeping his parishioners’ eyes fixed upon him during the sermon solved the difficulty by placing a clock directly behind him.—Kanshs Cuy Star. Husband— “H’m—er—what’s the matter with this cake?” Wife at all. The oook-book says it’s .tlie most delicious cake that can bo madej^V^t’Uck. Dinkle— “Strange you should be overcome by the heat.” Dankle—“Great B«>tt, man! I lost ten dollars on it.”—Buffalo Courier. Hungry Horace—“ Hay, gimme ten cents for a bed, will yer?” Borgnofekl—“Oerdenly, my frendt Vere is der bed!”— Truth. —■ ■ • ■ « Fond Motiier —“lf you children don’t behave yourselves better, you shan’t have a bit of that nice, sweet medicine to-night.”— Indianapolis Journal.

Cure your cough with. Hate’s Honey of Horehound and Tar. Pike’s Toothache Drops cujre In one minute. Simkins —“What are you' raising a heard for in this weather?” Tomkins—“Oh, just to keep out of a scrape.”—N: Y. Herald. Much as wo dislike trouble we aro seldom willing to admit that anybody else has as much as ourselves.—Young men’s Era. » 1 Health, comfort and happiness, abound in homes where “Garland” Stoves and Ranges are used. , A man’s domestic relations do not trouble him us much as the relations of his domestic.—Truth. A fly sees iust as well when ha leaves his specs behind him.—Press. Hall's Catarrh Cure Is taken Internally. Price 75c.

Mat—“ Jack and Carrie were riding on a tandem bicycle when he proposed to her.” Edith—“l wonder what she did.” May—“Tumbled.”—Town Topics. Complimentary friend—“ Very striking woman, Mrs. Van Snort.” Mr. Van Snort —“Yes; she hit me for ton this very morning.”—Judge. At a young ladles’ academy.—Teacher—“Who was the greatest conqueror?” Lisette —“Don Juan.”—L’llluStration.

People are usually willing to do their duty, but they do not like to do too much of it.—Atchison Globo. Light beams in splendor on us proportionately as wo shod Its brightness upon others. There would be fewer high monuments If wo had to buy thorn ourselves.—Syrucuso Courier.