People's Pilot, Volume 4, Number 2, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 29 June 1894 — Fourth of July Rates. [ARTICLE]

Fourth of July Rates.

On July 8d and 4th, 1594. the North-West-ern Line will sell round trip tickets to stations within 200 miles at verylowrates, good returning until July sth, inclusive. For tickets and full information apply to Agents Chicago & North-Wes torn R’y. “Mary Gold's beautiful bathing dress is hopelessly ruined,’’ “What happened to it?” “Sno wont too near the water yesterday and it got wet." “Mary always was a careless girl.”—N. Y. Press. - -• '■ Mandene—“Do you believe in a hereafter. Jack?” Jack—“ Certainly I do. If 1 didn’t 1 wouldn’t have asked you to marry mo next month." —Boston Courier. ■'— • Frances and her papa had a few squares to go and tho latter asked: “Frances, shah we walk or tako the street car?” “Well papa," replied tho little girl, “i’ll walk if you’ll carry me.’’—Harper’s Bazar. A Hard Case, Anyway.—ls a man gushes over womankind he Is sneered at as a sentimentalist, but if ho doesn’t hois stigmatized as a brute. —Brooklyn Eagle. “Briefkins has graduated from tho law school, hasn't he?’’ “Yes.” “Practicing?” “Not yet. He’s looking for somebody to practice on.”—Washington S,tar. If every dog has lvis day it seems funny that dog days don’t last longer.—Philadelphia Record. “Remedies for toothache, my friend,” said a philosopher, “will be found to afford Instant relief in every case hut yours." Pimples are Inexpressibly mortifying. Remedy—Glenn’s .Sulphur Soap. Hill’s Hair and Whisker Dye, 50 cents. A man soon finds out how little he knows when a child begins to ask him questions.— Ram’s Horn. No real joy can ever be bought with money.—Rain’s Horn.

On Easy Street.—Worker “What would you do if you had a million dollars ?”’■ Hard Worker—“ Nothing, mostly, and do* mand twenty-four hours a day to do it im’H —Detroit Free Press. “Speaking of persistency,” remarked tha bill poster, thoughtfully, “my trade is cerij talnly one in which a man will never maka .a cent except by sticking at it.”— Buffalo! Courier. ’ Nodd— “The janitor’s wife In onr apart* ment overslept herself tho other morning.»»t Todd—“ How did you know that?” Noda—“Because we had cream.”—Truth. “Doctor, why fe It that some people who are perfect wrecks live longer than other* who are strong and well?" “Er—well— you see, the others die first.”—Life. Many a man with an iron will finds after marriage that it is led instead.—lnter Ocean.'