People's Pilot, Volume 3, Number 52, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 June 1894 — Tourist Excursion Tickets [ARTICLE]

Tourist Excursion Tickets

At reduced rates are now on stue, via The North-Western Line, to fit. Paul, Minneapolis, Duluth, Deadwood, Dakota, Hot Springs, Denver, Colorado Springs, Manitou, Salt Luke City, Yellowstone National Park and all the lake and mountain resorts of the West and Northwest. For rates and full information apply to agents of connectinglines. Illustrated pamphlets, giving full particulars, will be mailed free upon application to W. A. Thrall, General Passenger and Ticket Agent Chicago & NorthWestern R’y, Chicago. Wanted It Verified.—He—“l heard a fellow say the other night that he thought almost anyone could kiss you.” She—“ The wretchl Did you knock him down?” He—- “ No. I thought I would call and see you about it first.”—Brooklyn Life. They Must Gleam.—Stage Manager—- “ What is delaying the performance!” Prompter—“ The villain is out of tooth powder, and he swears he will not go on without being properly made up.”—Truth. The One Thing Needful.—“ Have you sufficient confidence in me to lend me five dollars!" “Yes, certainly I have the confidence. But I haven’t the five dollars.’’— Truth. Chollt—"Have a stick of chewing gum, ole chappie!” Fweddie—“Naw, thanks. My physician says I have got to quit my blawsted dissipating.”—Chicago Tribune. “It may be easy to read a woman like a book,” says the Manayunk philosopher, “but you can’t shut her up as easily.”—Philadelphia Record.

“Can r man serve two masters?" Inquired the pastor of the mild-eyed deacon. “He has to, sometimes,” confessed the deacon. “I think not.” “You never had boy twins ai your house, did you!” inquired the deacon, softly.—Detroit Free Press. She—“ Why don’t you propose to soma girl!” He—“l’ve done that twelve times already." She—“ Well, why not once more!" He—“l’m superstitious about thirteen."— Life. Winks—“l notice that your barber plways talks to you In French. I did not know that you understood that language." Jinks—“Well, I don’t; but you needn’t tall him so.”—Tia-Bits. “I mat not be able to elevate the stag* permanently,” muttered the highway rot> oer, “but you bet I can hold It up for a few minutes every day.”—Buffalo Courier. Do tou men in the dry west want to go back and make hay as they do in Rhode Is* land!—Rural New Yorker. The people who wish they were dead ar* awfully careful, we have noticed, of whas they eat.—Atchison Globe. RhEumatio Pains are greatly relieved by Glenn’s Sulphur Soap. Hill’s Hair and Whisker Dye, 60 oenta. Bongs of the Night.—French Teacher—- “ What are the Chansons de nuit!" Scholar —“Cat calls, I guess." The man who works his jaws never has time to labor at any useful occupation.— Boston Gazette. Small favors have long memories.—Chk cago Herald. Courtship Is sometimes a ship with mor* sail than rudder.—Young Men’s Era. - >*- - Advertising Is a sovereign remedy for dull times.—Troy Press.