People's Pilot, Volume 3, Number 52, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 15 June 1894 — PITH AND POINT. [ARTICLE]

PITH AND POINT.

—The things that go without saying must have escaped feminine attention. —Puck. —Put a pig in a parlor and it would immediately begin to look for mud. — Ram’s Horn. —“Just think, captain, the major has actually married a rich old maid.” “Obviously he wanted to have' his golden wedding at once.” —Fliegende Blatter. —Look here, Staggers, I don’t believe you can look an honest man in the face.” “Well, I won't deny it until I’m brought face to face with one.” — Inter-Ocean. —“What do nautical people mean by tacking?” said one girl to another. “Don’t you know that?” “Not exactly.” “Why, teaching— er—tacking is sailing on the bias.”—Life. —Some superstitious people claim that if a dog howls, death is sure to follow. It depends, one would say, a good deal on the kind of a rap one gets at the dog.—Harlem Life. i —Mistress—“Bridget, here’s a letter for you from the dead-letter office.” Bridgett (excitedly)—“lt’s me ould mother, I know! She’s been ailin’ fer a long toime. Oh, worrah! worrah! worrah!” —Puck. —“De great trouble ’bout conversation,” remarked Uncle Eben, “am dat hit's onpossible ter show ez much ’rig’nality in talkin’ ’bout de weddah es yoh kin talkin’ ’bout yoh neighbors.” — i Washington Star. ■ —A man who can run a furnace in the spring of the year so that his house i will not be either too hot or too cold, is a son of genius and the salt of the earth, and could run the United States government with perfect ease. —Boston Globe. —Lover (quoting Shakespeare)—“Perdition catch my soul, but I do love thee. And when I love thee not ” Modern Sweetheart (firmly)—“And when you love not, Timothy, ( it i( will cost you somewhere about fivd hundred, pounds damages.”—Tit-Bits. —She —“How is it you were not at Westend’s reception?” He—“l stayed away on account of a personal matter.” She —“May I ask what it was?” He—- “ Will you promise to keep it a secret?” She —“Yes.” He—“ Well, they failed to send me an invitatipn.”— London Chaff. —Roscius —“What sort of an actor is Buskin?” Stager-—“Oh, he’s well enough in his line. He’s all right in ‘Hamlet,’ ‘Richard the Third,’ and things of that sort; but when it comes to genuine farce comedy, he's nowhere. He will never become what is called a great actor/’ —Boston Transcript. —Mrs. Numam—“l think I’d better discharge our nurse. I’m afraid she has deceived me about having had the care of children.” Mr. Numan—“Doesn’t she take good care of baby?” Mrs. Numan —“Yes, but I notice that she isn't acquainted with half the policemen in the park.”—lnter-Ocean. —“No,” said Ethel, “I’m afraid I shall never see Harold again.” “Why? Have you offended him?” “Yes. I was giving him a nice sisterly talk, and said that I was afraid he was leading an aimless existence.” “Did he get angry?” “Yes. You see, he has the reputation of being the worst shot in the National guard.” Washington Star.