People's Pilot, Volume 3, Number 35, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 16 February 1894 — WHO’S BOSS? [ARTICLE]

WHO’S BOSS?

Grover, Old ISoy, am! Rothschild Fixing St i p. Seattle Herald. Rothschild: Grofer, my poy, dot vas a splendid message vot you gif dose Americans beeples. Of course I dond can sphend de time mit reading all dot rot vot you pud in for stuffing. Grover: Well, boss, I’m glad it pleases you and the English press, for it don’t please any body over on this side of the pond. I said just what you directed me to say on the money question and the panic, and inflated a very flabby document with a mess of stuff about economy, our Indian affairs, civil service, our relations with Hawaii and Liberia. Then I stuck a big tariff cork into it and threw it out to the public. They have been playing football with it ever since and kicking h—l out of it. You know those fool Americans have to be kept busy kicking at" something or they would revolt against your schemes of conquest and plunder. Rothschild: Dots all riglid, Grofer, dear, feed te fool shentiles on vind puddin’ ond de tariff till dey dond can tell de difference between de Russian treaty ond te Declaration of Indei’bendence, ond puddy quvick, if you do as I dell you, I vill own der whole country. Grover: Trust me for that, boss. I’ll carry out your directions to the hair. But where do I get off? Rothschild: Vy! Grofer, my lose, I'll pe a sadder to you. Look at your prudder Shon from Ohio, and see how I has fixed him. Ven he gommenced vorking for me all he had vas a hand-me-down suit of gloze und a hickery shurt. Now he vears diamonts ond has ofer ten million tollars in yellor poys laidt by fer ven der rainy day gomes. Shust go righd along as you vos now doin, Grofer, ond I vill has de Republicans put you pack in de Vite House in 1896. "Wanted—Eight or ten men to represent our well known house in this state. Our large and complete stock and various lines, such as nursery stock, plants, bulbs, fancy seed potatoes, fertilizers, etc., enable us to pay handsome salaries to even ordinary salesmen, Wages run from 875 to 8125 per month and expenses—according to material in the man. Apply quick, stating age. L. L. May & Co., St. Paul, Minn. (This house is responsible.) Fruits, vegetables and cheap grocery specialties at Maloy’s.