People's Pilot, Volume 3, Number 32, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 January 1894 — DEMOCRATIC PRAYER NO. 7. [ARTICLE]

DEMOCRATIC PRAYER NO. 7.

Another Formula for Praying Democrats to Learn by Heart. National Reformer. Almighty Grover, king of Democrats, high priest of 7 John Bull and consort of Wall Street, great is thy name throughout all the land. Thou who seest all things with an eye single to thy purpose; whose dominations reach from ocean to ocean and whose subjects are as the j *T%flfbl upon the sea shore, wfi.Jj&w before thee in humble adoration and acknowledge our littleness in thy sight. Look upon us, most worshipful master, as thy humble servants, ready to do thy will and receive the crumbs from thy official table. We ask not for pie—it is to rich for our blood—but, if it pleases thy highness, let us lick the plate wrhere the pie was. Oh, most beloved father, sharpen again our teeth that we may gnaw on the tariff bone which thou hast thrown out to us, for verily it is dry and hard and thy servants in Congress have gnawed all the meat off of it. We pray thee to open our eyes that we may be able to see the good time promised, for verily we are surrounded with the fog of low prices and the patches on the seat of our pants are worn to a frazzle and the wind whistleth a requiem therein, and w T e have not the wherewith to renew 7 the patches. We thank thee, most adored master, for thy excellent message, but our stomachs yearn for soup. We praise thy name by day and by night, even while our children cry for bread; but the gaunt wolf of hunger stares at the open door of poverty. We know that thou art great and good, and wise and just, but we have not the wherewith to clothe our children. Yet in the midst of poverty w r e sing praises to thee, oh, Cleveland, and would again make thee ruler over all the land. But we pray thee, most worshipful master, to deliver us from our enemies, for they encompass us round about to our great discomfort. Between the Populists, the mortgages, the taxes and poverty we are sorely pressed, we lift up our voices and cry out in distress, and the Populists mocketh at us in our despair. He runneth his tongue out of one corner of his mouth and winlieth his eye and saith, “Aha! I told you so!” Oh, mkdhty Cleveland, who will deliver us'from the body of this fortune? Verily we have been wicked in thy sight, else why gavest thou us a stone when we asked for bread? and a serpent when we asked for fish? Verily our heart sinketh within us and the Populists revile us on every hand. We sell our wheat at 50 cents, and lo! the mortgage taketh the 50 cents. We sell out cotton at? cents, and lo! the taxes swoopeth down like an eagle from the mountain and gobbleth it up. We would fain have “salted down” our hogs, but the banker salted dow r n both us and the hogs. Our beef which we thought to have pickled was pickled by the merchants, as well as our note for the balance of our account. We sheared our sheep, but the lawyer took the fleece and fleeced us out of a cow besides. Whichever way we turn is hell. Our children are rags, our wife is rags, our own clothes are rags and verily it appeareth that rags are the legitimate result of Democratic success. In the anguish of hearts, oh, almighty Grover, we ci’y out unto thee. Smite the Populists with a tenable smite. Soften the hearts of the bankers that they may put out a little money. Soon the cold bleak winds of winter will be over. The jaybird will chirp merrily in the apple tree, and the robin will pour out the melody of his soul from the top rail of our dilapidated fence. Then the holes in our pants will let in the gentle zephyrs of the summer, and gladden the hearts. Then wo will thank thee for the pants—and the holes, too. Then the patriotic office-seeker will come to see us and with his silver notes pour sweet consolation into our ears. And when our listening ear catcheth the- sweet promises he makes, our hearts will leap again with gladness, and we will sing praises to thy name and shout aloud for party success. We will rise up early in the morning and gq forth with gladness in oqr hearts and corn bread in our stomachs, and sing thy praises all the day long. And when evening is come we’ll put a tin roostpr in our hat and march in the procession to thy glory apd to thy success. Yea, we will even carry a torchlight and banners, that the people

shall know that we worship thee and thee alone. And the Populists who stand upon the street corner and mocketh at us we will laugh to dirision. Yea, our hearts shall leap with joy and our souls rise up within us. In our gladness we will forget the price of wheat, the mortgage, taxes, rag^ —everything, but the greatness of thy name. And now. most gracious master, take us into thy keeping. Remember us to the soup houses and the free lunch counters. Send us a Jew patches if you have any to spare. Suffer us to black your shoes, spit upon your fish bait, or serve you in any other way you see fit, and we shall praise thy name forever and foi*ever. Amen!

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