People's Pilot, Volume 3, Number 5, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 21 July 1893 — Page 1 Advertisements Column 5 [ADVERTISEMENT]

A man who knew all about the printing business after having three dollars worth of job work done undertook to make up the forms of a newspaper. Here is how he sand witched a marriage notice and a grocery-man’s local together: “John Smith and Miss Ida Qua were married in the holy bonds of sourkraut «>ld by the quart or barrel. Mr. Smith is an esteemed young codfish at ten cents per pound while the bride has a great many berries for sale at a shilling per bushel, Rev. Brown officiating.” Many of our readers remem ber Upton Oliver, who was here with the electric belt and Yuba (swindled) soanshow last winter. He had hub one eye, put that was sharp enough to spot a “sucker” when one was near. He was in his glory in those days and dearly loved to jingle the money of his victims in his pockets. As the writer was dreamily taking in the scenes of Chicago from the deck of a World’s Fair excursion steamer on a hot afternoon recently, he was startled to hear a familiar voice crying, “Here’s your lemonade, and its as cold as ice can make it. Try a glass and be cool. ” Turning our head we beheld the well known form of Oliver, whom the boys of Rensselaer loved so well to hiss last winter. Oliver was either under the influence of “Oh, be jolly,” or else had not yet got his sea legs on. He seemed to be in hard luck and his story con firmed it. “Oh. yes. I remember Rensselaer. Did well down there. From the way people bought soap and belts they certainly knew when they had a good thing. Ha, ha, why the soap cost but a cent a cake and the belts a dollar a dozen. No, they had no merit in them, but it would not hurt a fellow to use the things. But snaps do not last always and I have been in hard luck since leaving there. Worked in the Paris Musee on State street for a while after quitting the show business. Yes, its a tough place, but what’s the difference, everything goes in Chicago and when a fellow is in hard luck his conscience shouldn’t bother him. Had a rib broken and was thrown out of that job, and Otter getting well, took to the faking business on this boat. No, there’s not much in it, but it gives me someto eat. Did our show bust up? Yes, we went to pieces up in Wisconsin, and one of those rascally landlords up there still has my baggage and is liable to keep it unless I strike a better lay-out than this. Lemonade, miss, certainly, here you are, and its as cool as ice will make it! Only a nickel, thanks. Well, so long, give my best to all the boys in Rensselaer,” and he passed on, but at the other end of the boat could be heard the cry, “Here’s your lemonade, and it’s as cold as ice can make it. Try a glass and you’ll always be cool.”