People's Pilot, Volume 2, Number 49, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 26 May 1893 — To Cleanse the System [ARTICLE]

To Cleanse the System

Effectually yet gently, when costive or bilious or when the blood is impure or sluggish, to permanently cure habitual constipation, to awaken the kidneys and liver to a healthy activity, without irritating or weakening them, to dispel headaches, colds or fevers, use Syrup of Figs. “Jimmins’ wife has run away and left him. He says he never will forgive her.” “Neither will anyone else. She ought to have taken him along.”—lndianapolis Journal. “It must be said of Swellington that he never loses his head,” said one actor to another. “ STes,” was the reply, “his head has gotten so big that he couldn’t lose it if he tried.”—Washington Star. “What makes Soapsuds charge you double price for your laundry work?” “Because my clothes are not large enough to fit any of the other customers.” “What wonderful self-command Jones possesses.” “What did he do?” “Met a man with a terrible cold and left him without suggesting a remedy.” Beecham’s Pills are a painless and effectual remedyfor all bilious disorders. 25 cents a box. For sale by all druggists. “I tiiought Tompkins had given up using tobacco?” “He has; he only smokes the cigars his wife gave him for his birthday.” Half the time when a man Is considered bad at heart it is his liver instead.

It la easier for a man to find his own name in a newspaper when it is there than it is for him to locate a double-leaded article with a scare-head.— Puck. Mrs. Bingo— “ What does a silent partner mean, dear?” Bingo—“ That's a term, my love, that I don’t think it would be possible to explain to you.’’—Detroit Free Press. Mamma—“Well, did you get homesick the least bitl” Bennie—“No; there was a parrot there that scolded just like you, and I wasn’t lonely once." Asa rule it is difficult to persuade an individual who rides a hobby tnat he had better take a walk.—Blizzard. A person may be completely carried away by a balloon and yet not really enjoy it.—lnter Ocean. Freshness and purity are imparted to the complexion by Glenn’s Sulphur Soap. Hill’s Hair and Whisker Dye, 500. A furor—Oysters on the half shell.—N. Y. News. Plating 'possum—Rabbits in some restaurants.—Puck.