People's Pilot, Volume 2, Number 33, Rensselaer, Jasper County, 3 February 1893 — TWINKLE, TWINKLE, LITTLE STAR. [ARTICLE]

TWINKLE, TWINKLE, LITTLE STAR.

Yoa are Afraid la Tell Ui Whe Ten are. In the last two issues of the j Republican its little twinkling, ! blinking “Three Stars” have ap- ! paren tly shot off on a tangent into ! the Zodiac and there held their . olfactories into too close proximj ity to the odoriferous department of the billy goat. Whew! how this trinity of twinklers do twinkle. Like real, falling stars. Twinkler’s course is downward; like real shooting stars he hfis “busted.” You complain of the “odor,” eh! Change your position. Be a man. Come around face to face and take the beast by the beard. Our goat presents a bold front and a fair rear; you cau attack us at either point. Choose your ground and make no more complaint about stinks, “Three Stars.” If your bent of mind and your mode of attack leads you to w’hero the “odor” is unpleasant it is not at all to your credit to turn up your nose and whine. Now, what have you really been trying to do and to say? Like a scared dog, trotting astride his t til, you have been snapping and sniveling at things seen and unseen, you have been squatting and dodging, fleeing with none pursuing, howling when neither kicked nor kicked at; your conduct has been quite “queer,” indeed. Something about you is out of line. We are satisfied that you should be treated for some physical or mental ailment. To be plain with you, Twinkler, we must say that we know T you are just a little off. Why! in your delirium you have seen billy goats, gaping alligators, have heard the commands of little bald-headed bosses; in trembling terror you have roamed the dreary regions where the w T hang-a-doodle mourncth for its frit born, ah; in your derangement you have talked of health officers, post masters, U. S. senators and ex-congressmen; in broken ands unconnected sentences you have said: “John, Jim, Dal and Nat. Positively, in the two articles you have writteq, you looked so wild and shot so scattering that of the forty-nine things you mentioned in only one of them could w r e learn what you were driving at. That one was w’here you copied the figures and arguments used by John Sherman & Co. on the currency question. This position and these figures have long ago been abandoned by your party leaders. We showed the Republican its Governor’s position on the tax law, and through yeu, “Little Stars,” it said “pious editior of the w’hang-a-doodle variety.” We say the baldheaded Republican boss taxes us $340.36 per mile for gravel road repairs; for the ring organ, you answer, “pious editor of the billy goat odor.” We told the tax payers that 19.50 for dinner and supper for an election board should not have been allowed. You, for your paper, reply: “cast not pearls before swine.” With ail the Republican’s false reasoning and false doctrines, with all its slobber and slime, never have we seen in its columns anything half so ridiculous and meaningless as this conglomerated and idiotic nothingness that comes from the pen of