The Vernon Times, Volume 8, Number 29, Vernon, Jennings County, 2 April 1920 — Page 3

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ve are specializing' ea moderately priced suits that will surely appeal

to t,;; woman who 13 looking for a satisfactory suit of this kind.

The materials are Serge, Poplin. Gaberdine, Trieotine. Mostly in navy blae, which is the fashionable color cf the season. The suitt are made with

fancy over collars and may ta selected from a number cf fancy or plain

tailored models. Prices $28.00, $33.00. $C3X0, $45.00. Also oilier suit of different materials, newest modes, $49.50 up to $75.00. STILISH SPUING COATS. Larr line-' ot beautiful new spring coats for Women and Misses, including the smart new sport models and full length styles. The materials are Serge, Gaberdine, Covert, Bolivia, Polo Cloth, and Burella Cloth. Colors Pekin, Navy Blue, Gray, Tan and Black. Prices S15.00 up to $7.00. N. HORUFF & SONS Madlson'i Largest Cloak, Suit and Bus House, 232-234 E. Main St. (Opposite Court House), Madison. lnL , ... t n t . ' m tii u t i i i h i t a h u n '' n t u a u k 1 1 1 1 u U n i 1 1 1 i h

FOUriD HIS OCCUPATION GGJIE

Weary Wanderer Another Victim of the Horrors of War, sa He Explained to Housewife.

"Women don't feed tramps readily nowadays, with work so plentiful end men ho badly needed la almost nil occupations, and a tramp has to be a bit brighter than formerly with hi xctj3 if he "get by" the average housewife with a hurd luck tale. One that came to the back door of a Muntt'i residence tlic other day will not fall to make good in his particular "profession" anyw here. "I'm out of work," he explained to Sirs. Housewife, as she stood frowning down on him, "because the war destroyed tin only occupation I ever hud been taught the occupation my father trmght me and that I always bad followed until this terrible war came on." "What was your Job the war endM?" f.sked Mrs. Housewife, a shade i f Interest and even of comrniserat'.cn entering her voice a she spoke. 'Tramping, mum," was the almost tearful reply. Indianapolis News.

flaking a Start. I heard an amusing story the other day concerning Sir John Lavery, the famous Society artist. It seems that one day he was engaged in painting the portrait of a beautiful but very shy little girl, when he chanced to find a threepenny bit in his color box. "Do you collect threepenny bits?" ha Inquired of the child, showing her the coin. "Yeth," she lisped. "Here's one for your collection. Now how many have you?" "One," replied the little sitter. London Tit-Bits.

iOMETHINQ TO WORK WITH

Young Man Perfectly Willing to Practice Economy, if Old Gentleman Would Supply Material. There is a well-known banker whose only son does not, his father contends, appreciate the valne of a dollar by about irj cents. A short time ago the youth approached the old gen!8ian with a request for a considerable u:n In addition to his regular allowance. "Look here, my boy," the father ald severely. "You do not seem to realize that you spend a great deal of money throw it away, in fact. Don't yon think It about time that you begn to economize a bit?" "Yes, I do, father," the young man responded earnestly. "Been thinking Just thatline thing, economy ; provide Against rniny day, and all that sort of rot. I'd love to start light In economizing, but I can't, because I haven't a cent to economize, ir you'll Just pass over that thousand, however, I will I.egln, right away!"

Her Meamtna.

"I heard that pretty little woman say the other day that she was going to do her best to make her Billy's life perfectly happy. She must be very much in love with her huband." "That wasn't her husband she was talking about; it was her pet poodle."

Something Missed. "Do you remember the first balloon you ever saw?" "Quite well," replied the elderly gentleman. "Those were the happy days, but I've always felt that fate cheated me out of a thrill that was my due." "How so?" "I never saw a helper get tangled in the balloon rope3 and go- soaring toward the sky, suspended by one leg, while the blood of 5,000 spectators at the country fair froze In their veins with horror." Birmingham Age-Herald.

Brief Encounter. "You seem much interested in this photoplay." "Yes. You might say that I enjoy a personal acquaintance with the star." "Dear met Tell me how you met her." "I've never met her, but one day when I was crossing the street la Los Angeles she nearly ran over mo in her sport car." Birmingham Age-ITerald.

Suspicious Adolf. She (as her lover Is about to start on a. journey around the world) My dear Adolf, will you -be true to me when you are far away? Promise me that you will write to me from every town you visit! He Oh, Ada, Is it love that prompts you to say this? Ada, swear to me, do you really love me, or are you merely collecting foreign postage stamps?

The Ruling Passion. A submarine attack was on. The sea heaved and rolled. The destroyers were dropping depth bombs. The deck of the troopship was lined with Yankee soldiers. All was silent. Suddenly the tension was broken by a small, wearylooking soldier. "Say," he said in a hollow voice, "is there anyone here who wants to buy a nice watch and chain?'' ETerybody's Magazine.

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General Ucrchan ts Spring Annciuncement Ladles House Dresses, Percale, $2. SO and $2 7".. ladies House Dresses, Gingham, $3.50. Good stylos. Ladies Gowns, $2.00. Skirts, $1.50. Corset Covers. I 0 while they last U-uUes Silk Waists, $3.00, $5.00 and $tj.00. . We have a good line of Mens and Boys Shoe They come iu just right for Easier. Mens'- Shoes. $1.00, $5.00, $6.00 and $7.00. Beys' Shoes. $3.r., $4.00 and $5.00. Spring Time has ushered in Garden Time.

We h ue a Comi. Fresh X w Line cf the D. M. !' ; 's :in.i r:. .. r.'s Card "n

Yellow, White and Bed Onion Sets, 15 cents.

Our Grocery Department, as usual, is well atocke.l with Piv.-h ?nd S :asonHble R,i,d. and hi. 14 its low in price as Is possible t j if til '.!'.(;.! ar a" small margin.

We arc always in the market for good fresh butter, frcch cs, and good poultry and v.-ill pay the mtrkct prices.

snlt'to ccnvlnce a loafer tl -.t

he isn't s'tnartEr thsa men wio work. Keep your face toward 'the sunshine and the shadows rrlll fall behind you. As some one has said, nothing was ever so bad as reported except Noah's flood. How a lucky man does enjoy pointing with pride to his superior . judgment! Fortunes await the Inventor of a lifeboat that will float on the sen cf trouble. Theatrical dsnagers and astronomers ere al-srays trying to discover new stars. Profanity Is a nervous I.oSrmity. as often as It Is aa exhibition of downright Impiety. There would be a very sizable rush of town boys to the farm if town boys had their way. It's surprising how much respect a worthless man is capable of generating for himself.

Nowadays most any man would like to meet a woman who could drive hlca to strong drink. A girl who lets a young man have his own way during courtship is only biding her time. Too many men wait until they have ben done to a turn before turning over a new leaf. Some people would have to work overtime if they practiced half of what they p readied. A brilliant orator is one who always uses the right word in the right place at the right time. A man who merely talks about hl3 wrongs Is not as dangerous as on who writes about them. A widow always tries to console herself wdth the belief that she can't do any worse the next time. It makes n man cross when hla wife asks him. to ex Vain something to her that he knows nothing about. It Isn't bo ng kissed that a girl objects to so much as the thought of his thinking .she wouldn't recent it. Arbitration Is the method employed to convince both the contending parties that they are in the wrong. storekeeper is glad when he can lower the price of anything. He likes smiling 'faces as well as anyone. Women have even been known to play cards at a card party after there was nothing more to talk about. It is no use descanting enthuslasticallv on the charms of walking to

the woman who wears, heels 2 inches high.

"0T HUGH STUDY INVOLVED Grandma Evidently DMn't Think Hi-hfy cf the Deln-s at Wsmwr'a Debiting Club. Tiny Timothy had to be verv quiet oa certaia days in the week. Sunday mornings were bad because then father had to study his lessen for the afternoon Sunday school. Tuesday evenings he had to tiptoe armmd whila brother John studied his lodse rituah Friday evenings sister Nellie went to a dsbatlnz club and it was

often preceded by the last look at her

part in tne debates. Then one day mother announced that the had been invited to join a bridge club. Every one was anxious for her to join but little Timothy, who sighed: "Oh, mother, now will you have to study, too, before you go there? What do they recite at vour club?" Everybody smiled but dear old grandmother, who did not approve cf bridge clubs. "Oh, she won't have to study much," she retorted tartly. "She can Just listen at the first few meetings until s-he learns how to gossip like the rest of them."

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aveyou ever 5lone to mrriW m

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ivuniz s wnere your selections are :bi

'best to be had. Where yen knov

weights are co rcct, and we! I., brands are -at less money. Prove t hese jstatcments. Compare' our prices. . t is .certainly up to you to be the jud.e. Bene w while y u are doing y ur -er

shopping.

WHAT PEEVED THE RECRUIT

Satisfied. "Is it true that every man thinks the other fellow's job is easier? "Not In my eyes," replied Mr. lobbies, firmly. "No?" "I've watched 'human flies' climb up the sides of skyscrapers with nothing to aid them but their hands End feet; I've craned my neck when aviators were doing all kinds of dare

devil feats In the sky, and Pva seen;

other people risk their lives In various ways for money and applause tut never without thanking my lucky stars that I can make a living keeping books." Birmingham Age-Herald.

Little Discussion He Had With Corporal Left Him Disgusted With Relief From Guard Duty. A couple of recruits of the latest vintage, who had enlisted In the hope of being sent to the Rhine, were discussing the pros and cons of army life. "It ain't so bad," confided one. "Most of it la all right, but It's that blasted relief from guard duty that gets me." "Relief from guard duty !" ejaculated the other. "Man, you're cuckoo I There's nothing to being relieved from guard duty. It's being on guard duty that's hell." "No," maintained the first. "It's the relief. Why, the other day they put me on guard for two hours, and it wasn't bad at all Just standing around and watching the rest of 'em drilling and knowing that I didn't have to do it myself, but then when the time for relief came the corporal came up and gave me the devil." "What for?" "Nothing. Nothing at all. I Just couldn't remember where I'd left tny riSe,"

ORANGES. 49, 53, 75 and SO cents per dozen. LEMONS. 30 cents per dozen. Large s:ze. APPLES. 8 13 and 10 cents per pound. CURLEY LETTUCE. 20 cents per pound.

EVAPORATED I - EACIIFS. 27, 29 "and 32 cents per pound. BANANMS.

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10 and 12 1 cent3 each. ' CELERY. ! 10, 12 15 and 15 cents per bunch. ! PIGS -DATES. ' and NUTS of all kinds.

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Crocker's Corner.

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Sew to Speak. Surgeon (threading his needle)rFel much like laughing, Houlihan? Victim (of an accident) Save your funny sthories, docthor ye'li have raa In stitches soon enough! Buffalo Express.

Tunneling Machine. A Texas plumber is the inventor of a hand operated tunneling machlns for laying sewer pipes without digging trenches.

Rare Sugar Found In Honey. Investigation of certain stores of crystallized honey found in various places In Pennsylvania where the bees had died from starvation led to the discovery of a Quantity cf rare sugar, known as mslezitose, which has been extracted and puriSed and placed at the disposal of the bureau of chemistry. The weekly news letter of ths department of agriculture says that roelezltose is one of the rarest sugars. Minute quantities of it have been available to men of science for many years, but the supply has never been sufficient to permit of extensive experimentation. Now the United States department has several kilograms.

Stunned. "If labor persists in its arrogance, said the town man, "the time will-coma when the hired man who does a full and honest day's work will be denounced as a traitor by his class." "The hired man who does good gosh I what?" astoundedly yelled Farmer Bentover. Kansa3 City Star.

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He Wasn't Lonesome. Old Lady And what place did yea spend most of your time in In Prance? Ancient A. B. F.'er Brig, ma'am. Home Sector.

THE TAMBOURINE GIRL

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Can be so changed by having it Cv.'Irs Dyed a preay, new Spring Shade. If 1 CTlOttT ycsr. Givs Our Pry Cenifif Trial

Seid Via Parcel !ot IN CO R FC TJLTZD

m. fm vm

LOUJSVILLr. -

jniE Dotzut Glri of" wartime' t

Ffcot ty Patd Parksr, N. Y. ed her khaki and dormed tho

faiiiillax tlCt. Tcdav the Is servintr 1rst as ve.lla.ntir m Tha

Tuu.t::riz3 CIxl of tls city slums, tha asjil of tt tenements and" the guarilnii cf tha poor. Instead of the doUiboy, the poverty-stricken, the Cistx'T.J, ths eicJc mad the unfortunate know htr cow and call her. blessed, t ,-f tey, r3 ttill the GJri in peace m well aa la war!

Tough on the Patient. Nurse Oh, doctor, what shall I do? Ycur patient followed your directions perfectly. Doctor Well, there's nothing to worry over. Nurse Yes, there Is; the directions blew out the- window and he jumped out to foilow them.

Vhy Daniel Zscapzd. The Teacher When the lion found Daniei in his M n hy do you think he didn't eat ':- up? The Bright Pupil 'Cause he was so glad it wasn't Mrs. Lion usla" his den for a sewin room. Dallas News.

Minds are like g:;rd.-ns; tho only way to keep them free from weeds is to cuitlT&ta them. Many a wnwn who is unable to drive a horse can lead her husband around by the nose. A woman forget til Mr troubles when the is wearing her new spring tat for the first time. There is but one rafe thing to do with a practical joke, and that is to forget it before It happens. The best doctor for colds and most ether troubles Is Old Outdoors, M. D. XI'3 nice is rlsht around the corner. 1 1 O " -