The Vernon Times, Volume 8, Number 29, Vernon, Jennings County, 26 March 1920 — Page 2

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"I I t: . ' k - 1 I.: Ceteris! Haskell Reports to Hear Easi Belief cn Desperate Heeds of He!p:csc. Teace inuj elsewhere In the world, but hunger k'lo-.vs r nn.dstiee In the Near J'.:i-" sajs C.-hoiet Willi:? cj N. Ilas'at-Sl, Ahied l-.il. eoniudsS!(j Ir: thy Tra:is-Ca,'C!'s. l:i :u pstl !i Near East Itelief, 1 Maa!vn tVi'HUe, .N .v Y su i-pl i -h '.r '. i C h.i. i it . operations a!.-'. '! ! ' :i ri';i:iT pari of ii k city, for f' i'! ah'! retief of the !; rving cli is ir! fLi.rf f all i.!: -1 u r.- Eiifii t s Near f!:..t ,, shelter for lh11. via during the. terri-

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COLONEL HASKELL. l ip w i.uler In the inouut;, ins," he ns, "ami the exisshi.: food supply is entirely irtHduui f e for the :rre;. nnniior of refugees, without rcsourees of kind. "r n. recent :igre meni between the fii-etnlcrs of th r-iu!.l of Armenia, Aerbaldjan :;;id Georgia ;u (-ease hostilities nml s":!h all di'Torenees- bv Hrbit ration !. ehs;:,rh. to relief work In' the ':Ul'-a sl ; has tr-.i removed and nntkes accessible a mv.it number of destitute ','. who (.' ; . . ! . I Parish this winter. "Two hundred t! on e;r- 1 ilrtilniv Armenians i.uil Tartars can now be re:tched in tie ilistrb'ts of Ka ru1i:'.h. Shu?ha ami Nakl'iichex an, in iho southeast section of the Trans-Caucasus, ami we are ilannin to exteml our work thvre. Ti.e vcononile situation hs so desierate and food sui'plics sso scanty tliut the (leoiiaii !iac ortHu-ol !"),- t) persons, mainly Kussian refugees rithout einploj'nu'iit. to have tle city f Titlis. Ai-t-ut 4o.t'U workers in the oil f.ehl of r.alvU haw in on oiihuod by the Azvrbuhijuht c io leave the ty Lecttiisi then3 1 iig work for them ami food Is scarce. Arnuml cvry ;a;ion a'.oni; the railway are gathered groups of hundreds f homeless people lyin huddled together n the Lto'.!,-!, the majority of them too weak eea to try to help tliemst'lvs. From time to time the stronger ones climb on fte'hr cars ami move Cifcwherv. always sticking better conditions, which do not eist. Two liumlred and si t v-tb ;ve tliounml Inuueiess ivf.ige,. j,om 'i'urkisit Ar-.:e-nla thus are eon;.in!!y mii!i;;i;: about throuc'.ouit Russian Armenia, ranking the relief work conducted by the Americans a problem re'juiring ic.nniie patience r.nd organizing ability. '"Thi? is especially true in view of the existence of 21S.00O destitute InliMtnnts of Russian Armenia who possess homes, but ;o food, as well as loXtK. Greeks. Russiaius, I'ersians, Syrian and Yezidix who have been driven out of purts of Transcaucasia. "Cue hundred and forty thousand Moslem, w hose villages were destroyed it! the course i f five years of constant warfare, a'-e h.e'plessly encamped in the open around villages of their former qn-intit: dirt to lueUf. Ti' ft-rinc ' . -.e--:;-n-r Infinitesimal '" - inch they mix with h insion of nourish-und:-i of thousaii'' of sufL, mostly Itomeios smi Ueklng every necessity of life, Lavin;; r.ethintr more to lose, arc -. :,. t.; rated, in a country as yet Inade-paa tely !"-Hee-1 or t'lvi rned. They enstitite n fertile field for the seeds of lUtishe" sv.x or any fortn of anarchy, the spread of v h:-h once hos,d would be impossit ile to predict. "It I generally a iiuii'ed in the Caucasus that she America us. of the Near I!;it Relief already have, sared the lh-s of at b-i'sf ;Mj'. i,;)b ies at.d eldiilren t;m! of ..!. adult refugees and destitute, 'i'hls wot'k stili is cotninu-U.Z-" hi an effort fo prou.ire funds to carry on the work a:e! save' the lives of these hrii-'reds ef . ihivi-.;ids w b o v. rwis4j wsi (f srrva?;.'5; and exposure Near liasf Ibdicf. of which Cleveland II, lode !s treasurer, 1 making an appeal to the American pev-

good v:on:: all fob caught

C--'i Wc'-r c: writable Young Lady Was ArrcyiiJ hy That 'Meddleterns Busybody." Tie iUn rituhie should try' not to no mlb-mus. Too ma ii y charitable peiple iTv like the yoang lady." The siaker was Lawsnn Rrnly, v.f-rttary ,t the Now York charity t.rartfzaff.n. He went on: "A y..mjT lady said one evening at tlir.ie-r: "'The tserve of pome people beats alii' "How do you menn, dear? dked !..-r father. ! s .. n tboy'il better mind their i own buin " T.N.V i " 'Ves. that's it. You f-ee, I joined -tl:f. ("oilec Settleiuent sti'bl last ! week, abd this afternoon . bean my i work by earryins a II.cr lasket of pn ;io:.s to an old woman. Well, when' I L'ot to the old wonirsa's. house I found: that some meddlesome hu-'ybody had, been there before me and .civet) her a j job. 'I'here was nothing for me to dc j but carry all that stull nacK io iut loiihl : -,';; Ihd.eve me. ! was tun oU. SECRETARY GOT H!S CIGARS Good Work to Credit of KniQhts of Columbus Commissioner in the British Isles. Cdward A. Ryan, Knights of Columbus secretary, who returned from Ragland recently, tella of receiving two i.oxts of cigars, sent by Sergt. C. M. Summers of Auburn, Imh, with no address other than a snapshot of Mr. Ryan in a group of soldiers. The cigars and snapshot were sent to Rdgar Sharp, Knights of Columbus commissioner in the r.rilish isles, and the soldier asked Mr. Sharp to give the ciirars t,, the man in the picture, around whose photograph he had, drawn n lire. Mr. "Sharp recognized Mr. Ryan ami sent the cigars to him. The picture was taken when Mr. Ryan was helping the soldiers see London. Summers wrote t lint he desired "to give the cigars to the K. of C. man who had taken him sightseeing around lingland w hen he was clean broke." His Intention. "I was eighty-three years of age this 'ere. last fall," admitted old Emory Umps. "I have never accomplished anything of special importance during my somewhat extended career. I have tried my hand at most everything, one time and another, and fallen down more or less P.at at nearly all of it. And now, having been practically a false alarm and a total failure all these years', I am going to live on my s-on-in-law, and divide my time about equally betwixt criticizing the way everything Is done nowadays and telling the rising generation how to make overwhelming successes of their lives." Kansas City Star. Plausible Reasons. The bishop of Birmingham said at a Los Angeles luncheon : "Church-going becomes rarer and rarer among the people as the years pass. "In Rirmingham one Sunday morning a clubman, sealed at a club window, looked up from his Sunday paper and said: " "Ry deorge. there's Thompson and his w ife on their way to church ! 1 wonder what's up?' " 'It's either,' said a second clubman, 'that Thompson has had another attack of heart trouble or else Mrs. Thompson has got a new dress." Your Family Tree. You had a father and a mother, and you grant that each of them had two parents, tints declaring that you had four grandparents. Then keep on go ing backward. Fifty-four generations ago you had 2,2."l,f;H,Sl3,CS.,24S ancestors (of course the decimal does not count here). Count thiity years to a genera tion and your many ancestors existed 1.020 years ago in the year 209 A. D. This seems like good arithmetic, but I cannot vouch for its historical ac curacy. Letter look it up and see. No Accounting for Tastes. "Ild ye; ever fall in love with a bareback rider in a circus when you were a boy?" "No," replied Mr. Grimpkin. "People used to say I was a queer boy. I passed up the bareback rider and the lively trapeze perf aimers in their pink and white tights to worship at the shrine of a snake charmer of mature years." Rirmingham AgeTIerald. An Expert Witness. "Y'ou swear that this ruin is no chicken r-tealer," demanded the judge. "Y'essur," replied Hast us Ilashley. 'Thi's whut All said, suh." "What do you know about the facts in this case?' "Ah !-n' s'posed to know nufln' Tout de f ticks la de case, suh. Ah 1-j an expert witness foh de defense." What He Did. The Magistrate It is charged that you used scurrilous language to this man. and then struck him with a dangerous missile. Prisoner (indignantly) Oi did nothing rv the koind. Oi called Tui a lyin' pup. an Lit 'ira wid a brick. Especially That Kind. She (cotap'ainlngly) You said before our marriage that tny every wish w as your law. Ho Maybe I did, tut you s.v.a to f. rgt t t!n:t laws become obsolete. R j Transcript ...... ..

BEAR' CUBS PpOBADLY Ulll . New Species tht Rssuit c f ' ' Canadian' Birick and R ir n Brovn, inj London Zoo. r - A "marriage wjis arrat;cr' in 1jkdon some time Stco !.(;tw-ii Teddy, ; the black bear frm Ca.nada, un4 ; I ahsy, the liruwir bear from R(i:a. ' The result Is the- first hybrid blackbrown bear cubs ever born in tin; zoo they may even be unique, for aa- I ture let alone produces no hybrids. They nre a rich mahogany cotupro-

mise between their parents' colorints, ? jmd are dohis splendklly. Aionr wltli

; tills r.sws comes word that the uudiest i beast in the world, the Matnmula tuc-

: tie, another emigrant from the t ew ' : world, had been on hunger strike or i since his arrival in London. At home i he cvt.s his food in a nasty, vivach- ( erous way. He has a shell which looks I ke a lump of rock on which weed ! .'rows freely. lie keeps quiet and j looks like a pleasant "stone for hsh to rest under. Round his jaws are a j; umber of long lumps which look like desirable worms. These- are his round bait, and even if the Matamata he asleep a nibble rouses him to snap up a meah TRAMP'S PLEA THAT' FAILED ."litfe re r Quite Unable to See Style of "Splitting and Hacking"' Proposed by Farmer's Wife. Lawson I'urdy, secretary of a charily organization, said in a brilliant address on charity in New York : "Charity bestowed on the professional beggar is worse than wasted. A gaunt scarecrow with a red nose knocked at the back door of a farm house one hitter Decemjier day. "'Charity, lady,' he roaked. 'Charity for the sake of the Christmas feast wot's approach'.:!.' "Here he coughed dinmlly. "'Lady,' he went on. T got a splittin' headache and a haekin' cough, and ' "Rut the wise farm woman interrupted him. "A splittin' headache and a haekin' cough?' she said. 'Then you won't mind goin' fhit to the woodshed and splittin' the kindlin' and haekin' them oak logs. When you're through I'll give yo,i a meal of ' "Rut the sufferer with a gesture of rage and disgust was already hurrying off." Extravagant Animals at the Zoo. A deer with an insatiable craving for chocolate almonds acted the thief at the London zoo the other day. A child offered it one and the animal snatched the whole bagful half-a-pound just bought by an extravagant mother for 7-" cents. The cat-bear, or Panda, a captive brought from fir Tibet, litis developed a taste for sultana raisins beyond all the other side diets experimentally offered him. And sultanas are horribly dear in England now. The gaudy blue-faced mandrill used to save money for its owners by tempting the tame squirrels into its cage and eating them. Its diet at home in West Africa laid consisted of roots and fruit interspersed with reptiles and scorpions. Other monkeys are tobacco-chewing fiends, and beg piteously for cigarette stubs. The African otter now much prefers fruits and carrots to lish, and the splendid elephant seal, the only one known in captivity, killed itself by gluttonous indulgence In buns. The Deed Was Done. With our baskets full of goodies, a crowd of us enjoy going from house to house and having "picnic" dinners. At our last meeting place our hostess was noted for making weak coffee. This worried my husband, who likes his strong. To please him I promised to go early and offer to make the coffee. Luck was against me, for when I arrived, she had already tnada it. My'husband, thinking of course, that I had done the deed, looked across the table at me, and bellowed before them all: "This coffee is simply rotten." Exchange. Jars in Cleopatra's Needie. Will the workmen who are busy repairing the base of London's Cleopatra's needle disturb the jars which were placed in the pedestal when the monolith was erected? The jars contain British coins, a translation of the meaning of the hieroglyphics inscribed on the monument, a railway guide, a number of children's toys, copies of newspapers, a map of London, a translation into several languages of St. John S-1G, a history of the monument and its journey to London, and manv other things. This was after the custom of the ancient i.gyptianx. Reminded Him. A well-known preacher was giving one. of his stirring discourses, when he remarked: "Ah! that reminds me of something I shall never forget." Then he stopped and thought, and, after thinking and waiting a long time, greatly to the- astonishment , of the congregation, he said: '"Dear me, I can't think of what it is : Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph. Cruel Agreement. Maud This keen air is certainly exhilarating. I feel like a -1-year-oU this morning. Belle And you look it ,mar tea times over. Boston Transcript. Vice's Aftermath. He (despairing) Oh, why d I evtr

learn gambling? "-She That's the trouble; wu learned.

JEMS Tim AT. ME

pros 8-!i Til EDA BA.RL 5. i A Glitterinti Wonder Production Stirring Splendid Stupendous uonoAY mm m Matinoe 2:30 Mi.ijht 7-1 5-9:00 islsn 10 20c NEW VV0HLD PROGRAM DLViScD LiY CHURCHES Cy H EARu TAYLOR. ii 4 DR. S. OAP.L TAYLCH, General Secretary Interchurcii World Pwovernent. if Christ, on tho day lie was born, nad .started ou a tour to preach in every village in India, lie would still have 30,000 more to visit. We now believe we have found a way by which the leaders of the Protestant churches can sit around "a common tabic and have the Christian program of the entire world laid before them. By means of the Interchurch World Movement we can see where the Methodists are, and where the Baptists are. We caii see the general outline cf their forces, their present status in this great world struggle, ind may also have some idea cf the unoccupied places, ond what may be done by all of us to enter these unoccupied parts of the world field which Christ sent us to occupy. CHURCHES TO AID LQMELY SHEEP SHEARERS OF WEST The bleat of tlm sheep- on the backbone of the continent calls n:en to the mountains. On high uplands from the Canadian border to Mexico, in lonely and inaccessible places, one of the most romantic examples of the country's migrant worker the sheep rfiearer plies his trade. Unheard of though he is to thousands of his fellow workers, it was for him that the immigration regulations of three countries Canada, the United States and Mexico were modi fied during the war. This permitted freedom of movement to many hun- ! dreds of this strange craft, and the means of employment to thousands in factories and stores. Y'et. for all his importance in the ranks of the 'nation's great Marching Army of the Employed, what sort cf life does this man lead? The migrant fruit packer, or wheat harvester, or farmhand, or lumberman often roam3 ! inland through cities and th con- t posted spots of civilization. But the j s?heep shearer, by the nature of his ; trade, is cut off from such influences. ; Tlirough a survey of the nation's migrant labor now being made by the j Interchurch World Movement, it is suggested that for men cf this class ', relief war be afforded through churches ; a outlying districts. For social and : cn.c-r purposes mese sueu, wu proper , co-operation, by church bodies, could make use of many of the facilities ,t without which they are doomed io. a I life of isolatlcn. I

WITTY SALLIES.

Unkind, Tlowe'i- I am wedded to my art. Powell Who had the nerve to give the bride away? t It Sometimes Happens. "Well, he made his bed "And now lie lies in It?" "No, he lies about it." Valuabis Quarters. Howell What was tlx most expensive room you ever had? Powell I once slept in a coal bin. Quita So. "Did you see where potato peelers In Chicago want $G a day?" 'What a skin game!" Truthful Appearance. "Ii!!!. I am dead broke." "Then no wonder you look all gone to pii'CcS." ' A Difference. "I hear you have been visiting friends?" "No. Relatives." Behind the Tjrnes. "What horsepower have yon in this establishment?" "Don't use any horses, mi-tor. We've got motors." No Wonder. "Jahbs' business record is absolutely clean." "Yes. I understand he made it in .soap." Much More. "Why, you tali: as if the man weren't human." , ''lie isn't. lie's a tenor.' Before and After. "Green Hill says lie was first attra eted by Ids wife's voiced" "Yes, and now he is distracted by it-' Makes a Difference. Edith Isn't it disgusting to hear men Mattering women ! - - ' Maud Other women, yes ! fleeting f" merge ncies. "Do! sot.'.; wife :s an awful talker. TIow do,-he get on so well with her?" Tie's a good listener.'" Life. r-ortinsnt Comparison. "How fast the winter days do My!"" "Mercy, yes ! Time goes about as fast as a ton of coal." Mo Leisure for Animadversion. "Y'ou never men! ion the high cost of living any more." "Too busy to talk about it! Hustling for the price!" .Its Nature. "What do you think of that free seed business in congress?" "I think it Is a plant." Opened a Can. "That was really a fine poem the man wrote about y.nr baked beans." "Yes. The poor o r.ovv was hungry." So It is. "What is the center of gravity?" "The letter V "Roys' Life for February. The Locality. "Exports say it takes fully fifteen minutes to shear a sheep by hand." "Not if It is done in Wall street." naturally. "Y'ou look depressed this morning, "I have a good reason. When I went to look at my private stock I found I was out of spirits." ery Likely. "What do you suppose Mars can be signaling us for?" "I guess he wants an engagement as a moving-picture star." Out the Other Kind. "I don't believe in these spiritualistic seances. I went to some, and I tell you I've got the spirits bottled up." "I wish I had." Well Matched. "She has dyed her hahla raven hue." "I suppose that Is to match her crow's feet." Much Appreciated. "They say an hour early in the morning is worth two in the afternoon." "So it is if you can have It in "bed." The Time for Attention. "Tie-re's a time fw everything." "Of course. That's why we don't pay any attention to getting the snow off the streets; until it is warm enough for a good thaw." Wealthy. Hewitt Did. you ever dream that you had untold wealth? Jewett Last night I dreamed that I was rieli enough to sandbag a man with sugar. Msybe Not. "Why d.on't we get any more Turkish rhapsodies?" "Well, they ain't got nothing U rhapsodize over, I take it." Louisville Coiiricr-Journal. One Solution cf the Servant Problem. Mrs. P.rogan The people next door tire very fortunate with their cook. Mrs. Gregan Have they had her n long time? Mr. I'rogan No; but -ies a cdC Mend raid the master out er ry morning and plays golf wi;h thgi getting an early breakfa-t.--IIca-t.. n Post. ,

;:. iioniBT a so;:s Only a few days un.il Easter. Have 3-0U your New Easter Frock for this eventful day? If not, come at ouy e to cur store where assortment is the largest and select 3 our New Easter Suit Coat D reas Skirt or Blouse. All offered at "Sensible Prices" 0. liacF 8 sons Madison's Largest Cloak, Stilt and Rug House, 232-234 E. Main 3t. (Opposite Court House), Madison. Ind. - . : :--!-.- - v

' :,f. ' o . -u- . ,. , 0 , . ' , .j t. . ve.f vi' n i. . : ;-U-J, - ----- ','. 4 ut.ijSiMf' 'f'c.i .v .v.a, aW.M. NAU2R s, Vr- v ( i ' . n V .. "i l'v- - '-'f.' - ts'ay Sncv flak Flcur. tiU C f M OssdGrcssrs, Deafness Csnaot Be Cured hy local applicant-. ?ia. s Vitwy caa'aat racJ the ii!'Ui. J portion of th ar. 15f er tm uty or way to cur i(ejft, tnl taAt by ti.i.nii'i.iioaal rem4!. efjie 1 iiuf l;y an in Marred cnniitlafi mt tk uiitoiii Sarin k f tke Ki-itacb)aa Tuaa. Wjiaa this tub is ii5ara4 ktit a rutVHmg atujnd or I m t? rf wci kearia-, a4 wa. It la entirety c!il. !afne ia taa rastH. ats unless tha ) da bi t ia ft a aa tak atit nsd tlila tuba rratore t ia armal c,i.lt ion. hrlnt wili aa 4atrya4 (aravcr; alaa catfi ut of tea ara rapiti r Cta'Tjh, which is r.othfns tut laHawe eaailaa r the mucoua arf atv IT wiii iv One ii r4 Da'iara far my -flt rsf leafn9s (caused by start.) taat cannot ta curri ay Haiti Catarrh tmrm. Send for oirro!ra. fr. T. J. CHlt.T,T it CO , Ta:4. a!a. piid r rrurs3c '- TkKt Ilail'a Van., y I'llia fur catiatlytia ir-s tt-tt A 1 All kinds of Fresh acd Seiokefl Meals. Pure Lari. Complete line of Fancy aid Staple Groceries, Country Fr. duce Bo'-TrM. John G. Smith Auctioneer Sales made Anywhere, Any time, tvrite or phone for dates at my expense. Big- Creek telephone exchange Madison, Ind. R. R. 5. Satisfaction guaranteed. Jff yn' mmmmmy L,ulh.,jLti Phone 202 L. 1ZERNON IND C. C. J0RDHII Funeral "Direcioi Licensed . Ernfaalmer Phone, mm zni Bay 10511 Vernon, incllana VI. A. BA8ME7T

Vernon, - - Indiana