The Butcher-Knife, Volume 2, Number 10, Danville, Hendricks County, 3 October 1857 — Page 1

The Butcher-Knife

"Tall Oaks From Little Acorns Grow."

Vol. 2.

Danville, October 3, 1857.

The Butcher-Knife

Is published every SATURDAY morning, in the town of Danville, and the State of Indiana, and will be furnished to Subscribers at the extremely moderate price of twenty-five cents per copy, consisting of twelve numbers. All communications and remittances must be addressed to George Gregg, Editor.

A Bad Fix. Once on a time, in a small village in Massachusetts, there lived a beauteous maid of seventeen, whom we shall call Fanny Lynn, and George Brown was her accepted lover. The course of true love ran smooth, and in due time they were married. This occurred one summer morning, and the same day they traveled cozily and happily together to New York as the first stage of their wedding tour. As a companion, a brother of the bride, a mischievous young rascal of fifteen, accompanied them; and well would it have been for the happy pair had they trusted themselves to their own society, and left him at home to ornament dog's tails and devil the schoolmaster. devil the schoolmaster. The party arrived in the city and went to the St. Nicholas Hotel. While George was duly attending to the comfort of his young wife, James, the brother, in the performance of his duty as groomsman, went to the office of the hotel to register the names and select appropriate apartments. Pen in hand, a brilliant idea struck him, and in pursuance therewith he selected 'three' rooms for their accommodation, and entered their several names on the register thus: 'James Lynn. 'Miss Fanny Lynn. 'George Brown.' Fanny retired early, being somewhat

fatigued with traveling. George smoked

of his-bachelorhood, we suppose, and finally requested to be shown to his apartment. An obsequious waiter came, candle in hand, and asked what number it was. 'With the lady who came with me,'

George replied, slightly blushing.

The waiter smiled, and --approaching an"

exquisitely dressed clerk, rhispered in his ear. The cleik stepped up to George and repeated, 'what room did you say?' With the lady who came with me,' said George, now blushing to the tip of his ears. The clerk smiled and shook bis head, as if in pity for the unfortunate young

man s ignorance.

It won't do, sir ; you have mistaken the house, sir. Such thrnnrs are not allowed here, sir.' 'It won't do-! Why, I only want to go to bed.' 'That you may very certainly do in your own room, sir, but not in the lady's apartment.' 'The lady's apartment I Why, that lady is my wife.' The clerk bowed ironically. 'All very fine, sir, but it won't go down ; here is the entry, sir.' George loooked at the register and there was the entry sure enough 'Miss Fanny Lynn ; George Brown.' He saw the whole secret at a glance. He protested and entreated, but it was of no use. He called on James to witness his veracity, but James was nowhere to be found. The bystanders laughed and the clerk inexorable, and the poor fellow was forced to retire to his solitary chamber to pass his bridal night; invoking blessings on the whole class of 'respectable houses' in general, and younger brothers in particular. How George justified his conduct to the disconsolate Fanny, this veritable history doth not state.

SET In 1 754, !Berjamin Franklin :?.$

postmaster, with permission to male 000 pounds continental money, oat of the whole post office department in America. .The vrry next year he gave the astounding notice that the mail which had before run once a fortnight to New England would start once a week the year round, whereby answers might be obtained to letters between Philadelphia and Boston, in three weeks, which had before required six weeks. In 1 774, it was announced in all the papers, in the colony, that 'John Perkins engages to ride post, to carry the marl between Philadelphia and Baltimore; and will take along or back led horses, or any parcel.' When a post rider proposed starling, notice was given of his intention by advertisement, also by the town crier, for several days in advance. In 1 793 the the number of post offices had increased through the country to seventy-five. (T 'T)id any of you ever see an elephant's skin?" asked the master of an infant school, in a fast neighborhood. 'I have!" shouted a six-year old at the

foot of the class.

"Where?" inquired old spectacles amused by his earnestness. "On the elephant," was the reply. Cr 'Pa, didn't you whip me for biting

Jim, the other day?'

'Yes, sir, I did. You hurt him verv much.' Well, its Jim's time to catch it now, for I seed him bite the music teacher right in the mouth, and I know it hurt her, for she put her arm arosnd his neck and choked him.'

J5T One pleasant Sabbath -morning, while a 'minister was on his way to church, he found the sidewalk occupied by a number of boys, playing marbles, upon which he stopped short and exclaimed: "What,

boys, playing marbles on the Sabbath

day! why, yea frighten me!" Upon which a hardened htile sinner locked up and answered: 'Frinhtened, ha! wley in the dl don't you run then!

F An A'labamian,-a fefcr 'days sin

went cut to see tiro depot of the Mobile and Ohio railroad. Near the depot were several Irish draymen. Thinking lo quis them, he shouted to one, "Has the railroad got in?" "One ind has, sir," was the prompt responre. 03 A California lover writes to his sweetheart thus 'Leven yercs is Tether long to kort a gal, but ile hev you yit, Gate.'