The Butcher-Knife, Volume 2, Number 6, Danville, Hendricks County, 5 September 1857 — Page 5

A CJood Jo We. were told, a few days ago a good joke on a young man not' a thousand miles from Cedar County; which,' as we have neverlseen. it in- print, (we .consider. worth relating, i The -circumstance, happened some time ago, but will loose, nothing by age.; i was .told iis by one who 'knew, and who said it was all true J Ascertain young man iji'se'dreb'cfa wife, being out .on a courting i expedition,, as is customary with young men, came lato on Sunday evening, and, in ...order to keep his secret' from 'his acquaintances, determined to be at home on Monday : morning bright and early,' so; that:hb absence ' would not be noticed; -But his allhnced resided seV? oral miles .from the, town .in 'which he resided, and so, 'po, overcome ' the distance, required the use of a horse.' "Mounted' on his horse,' aol' 'dressed' in '5ti'fe';' fine "white summer pants, with other fixinsin proportion,., lie .arrives .at; the, 'residence of his inamorata, where lie. is kindly received,

and his horse .properly r taken care of by being turned into a pasture for the 'nigh t. The evening yea, - the 1 night passed away, but how to the young is nobody's business. . Three o'clock-: in the morning arrived. Our hero was awake maybe he had been so all night -but it' matters not; three o'clock' is the time for : him to depart, so that he might arrive at home before' his comrades were stirring Not wishing to disturb the family of h's ladylove, who were then wrapped in the arms of 'Morpheus, he sallie J forth to the pasture to catch his horc; bin here was a difficlty t lie gras s w a s 1 o'o 1 ) i g h ,' a rid: !o a d -ed with dew. To venture jn there with his white pantaloons , would i;atker take the starch out of them and lead to detection. It would" not do to spoil his unmentionable, so he quickly made his resolve. It was three o'clock in the morning, and nobody. stirring, so he carefully; disrobed himself of his valuable ."whites" and placed them in safety on the fence, while lie give chase with unscreened pedals through the wet nass tt f f e r the horse. But the steed was fond of clover, and had no notion of leaving it. However, our hero was not to be thwarted, although he began to realize the truth of the old adage about the course of true love, &c, and finally the horse was' captured.' Returning to the fence where he had safely deported his lilly-white unmentionables Of mirahUe dicta! what' a horrible sight met his eyes! The field into which his horse had 'been turned was not only a horse-pasture but a calf-pasture, too, and the naughty calves, attracted by the white jlag on the fence, had betaken themselves to it, and, calf-like, had almost eaten them up! only a few well chewed fragments of this once valuable article of Ids wardrobe now remained only sufficient to indicate what theyi once had been! What a pickle was this - for' a nice young man to be in! ' - It was now daylight, the Industrious farmers were on and r bout, and our hero 4U

far from home, with no covering for his "traveling apparatus." It would not do to go back to the houKs of I'ifa hoy -io e,

as they -'were ' nbw; all ; upland' IiW'CoulJ j he'get ; in .without: Being : sderi by hie' fail I

one, which might rum his match? .Lo, no that would not ...d'V, Neither could he go to town in that plight. There wes only one resource left hinV, and that was to secrete Trimsolf' in the -'bushes ttH the next night; and ihm got home-under the cover of the- darkness. .-.-This -'.he resolved to .do, and accordingly, bid himself tinder a thick growth of bushes. ' Safely hid, he remained under the protection of the busherfor some time; and it may be' imagined that his feeling' toward the calf kind were not of Che most friendly character. v But ere long hi seclusion was destined to. be intruded upon... -The family of his fair one', seeing his horse still remaining in the pasture, inquired 'of the ladv what she had done with her lover.

She was non-plus?ed. . Sh3;Only, knew that he had left about three o'clock in the morning. Things did 'not look right; if he had gone, why did lie leave his horse? Suspicions were awakened; ; By and by, the boys who ad gone out' to feed' the calves returned, with a remnant of the identical , white garments which had adorned the limbs of their late visitor. They were mangled and torn to shreds! An inquest .was immediately held over them. Some awlul fate.had befallen the unfortunate young man. The neighbors were soon 'summoned to .search for his corpse, and the posse with nll'speqd set out with dogs and arms to the j-earch. The pasture was thoroughly scoured, and then the adjacent-thickets, when Jo! our hero was driven from his lair by the; keen scent of t lie dogs, all safe, alive, and well --but minus the linen. 'An', explanation' then ensued at the '-expense of our hero; but he was. 'successful ' in the end, and married the btdy, and is now living comfortably in a little town in Iowa.

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last parted, and my wh' b fj ".h1 was fill--ed with 'sweetness one (if your, curls touched me-on thv uqzq, and that 'organ was . transformed " into -loaf- sugar..-' - Oh, spice-of ..spices,.- garden, of delights, end mo a lock of your hair send me anything your fingers hath .tonched,. and I will o mad with ecstasy -one look" from thy bright eyes-will transport-me incontinently into'-the third heaven. Your hps are. red roses, gathered by the; angel Gabriel your, words. are molten pearls dropping from your mouth. My heart blazes at t he thought of thee my brain is an everlasting tire." The blood burns "and scalds my vein's and vitals, as it passe through them. Oh, come most delightful : of (ielights, and 'breathe upon me your seraphic breath. When you come, be sure to briniif that two shillings you borrowed, for I a hi out of Tobacco Yours, fervently, - CLEM. JOilNSlNG.''"' : 03s" An Irishman was asked at dinner whether he would take some apple, pie. Is it wholesome?' inquired Teddy. 'To be sure it is why isn't it?' 'Because I. once had an uncle that was killed with

appleplexy, and sure but I thoughtit was somethinivof : the same-sort,' said Teddv.

A lucky chap at Washington, who has the' prescription, says: 'A woman is the best-maneeuvi er after all. Take three pounds of pet ticoats, four smiles, two teadrops, with gammon at discretion;' etir briskly, and apply while warm to the blind side of a secretary, and you have a never-failinu prescription for getting office-. A fast young man in Detroit took a buxom seamstress out riding the other evening, and enjoyed himself so well that he proposed to get married. She consented,, and the. magistrate tied the knot. Now he las repented, and says he vQn't support her, declaring that she got him drunk and then "undone" him. He has wealth;. she has none. ;

A certain editor thinks when a single gentleman can't pass' a plothes-iine without counting all f he long stockings, it is a sign that he ought to get married, and the, sooner, the better,..,. .

f 'Tou,";h, madam tough, did you say,' said the irascible boarder to thp landlady, as he was trying to carve what was ostensibly a chicken 'Yes'm; and were I to give my opinion on the fowl, I should say it was old enough to have scratched up -the seeds of original, sin : when they were first planted.' : iJHT A Vfestern N. York farmer writes as follows to a distinguished scientific agriculturist, to whom he felt under obliga-.. tions for introducing a variety of swine: Respected sir: I went yesterday to the Fair at Mr l found several pigs of yd; species; there was a great variety of beas' and L'wad astonished, at not seeing there!' : !

0 Two Irishmen were in prison for stealing a cow , and the other for s! ing a watch. 'Hallo, Mike, what o'c is it?' said the cow stealer to the ot 'And sure, Pat, I haven't my timehandy, but think, it's about milking tir