The Butcher-Knife, Volume 2, Number 5, Danville, Hendricks County, 29 August 1857 — Page 5
i'k. i." ii t c is t Ijcriiic
The following is said to L.
what been A r, ,1
iuuuusoi me Ingush press as a veritable specimen of pulpit oratory in the backwoods of America. , Credulity is goinf further than the sermon :
Beloved Brethren : I'm tho man preached the sarmon which has printed in the papers, from tho ter.
he played on a harp of a thousand strings sperets of just men made per feck inout as well say I don't take pride in things uv that sort, for in the language uv my tes for lu day I'm an orful sinner, the chief among ten thousand, and Co one altergather luvly. Them is the words which you'll find in Gencssee. I'm gwine tu preach without notes, 'kase I can't rite; and 'kase I couldn't read it of I could; my notes are blank notes, uv which
i ve ot a pocket lull, and notes uv hand; which I shall- give to my squire whervl git back to Indianny, for ccllectin' for I'm an orful sinner, the chief among ten thousand, and the one altergather luvly. This tex, my breethren, can be divided into three pieces: fust, second and third. Fust, I am an orful sinner. That means you inderwidually, not me personally. Thar are more sins nor one: Its a sin tu drink water and catch the ague, whar a little sperets will keep you in good health; its a bin to steal, unless you steal awhile away;' its a sin to swear, unless you swear and sin not; its a sin to lie, unless you lie low and keep dark; pride is sin: some is proud of their booksnow I ain't, though I've got the gift and grit to speak in publick; some is proud of their larnin', but thank Gud I've none to be nmnd uv
for I'm an orful sinner, the chiif among ten thousand, and the one alterwathe'r luvly. , & Second, Chief among ten thousand Thar is different kinds uv chiefs. Thar's the mischief, the chief uv sinners, and the Cayuga Chief. The mischief means the Old Boy, what keeps the fire office below, and lets poor folks suffer in the cold here on airth. The chief of sinners means you, you wharf rats, and arterdemelons, omllebuss animals, what live here about the canawl. Look at them ere bosses rise
up in judgment agin you, high uv bone,
blow and it don't rain and if. don't do nuthin', I say thcay am luvly for I'm
an oriul sinner, the chief among ten thousand, and the one altergether luvly. . In conclusion, brethering, if that big
pd uv stuns was one stun what a bio-
stun it would be; if jou my brethering veekf'
f J M is. a J
rt .
'1
BY COTLEIB.
'Chon, you rcckJeraembcr dat Yiddh
plack bony I byed mit tho bedler ne;: is. -
were one brut her ivlmf. hi..- hniiL
you'd be, and ef r.iy hhr bruthcr should
fling that big stun into the canawl. what
a great splash that would make for I'm an orful Sinner. the r.h'u( ' nmnmt fori
thousand, and the one altergather luvly, My brethering, I want to give notice there will be some carrying on at this place nest Sunday arternoon, at half past
vu., mien x feiiaii prove me uocirin that ......ii.i i ii . .
uv an tne Bneiis in the world, the hard shell am the thickest and the best fur
I m an orful sinner, the chief anion" ten
thousand, nnd the one alter.oater lnvlr.
I shall prove that book larnin' ain't of i . .
no use my brethering that writing sei mnno .-i n A i', e i .
"v.no 11U gcniu ; w uiery ior mem is a
sin that deserves indemnification for I'm an orful sinner, the chief among ten thousand, and the one altergather luvly. Brethering, let us liquor and then go hum. remembering the words of the profit: 'Be sure you're right then go ahead.'
Yah, rot of him?'
Votings, only 1 gits sheafed burdy pad.'
Yah. Yon see in de vurst blaco ho h plint mi th bote legs, tint very lame, mit von eye. Den ven you frits on him to
up pc-
I da;.;
True Temperance. What we want is not mere abstainers from intoxicating li
quors, but temperate men temperate lives lives which pursue the calm .and
een tenor ot their way without runnin
into extremes.
ihin-rs." is the I Ft 1 IT M f f 1 f M IS 111 f I Wl . , mt
o ' j v v.. , uuvi lilrlli whose lips are never moistened by a drop of liquor from January to December, may yet be the veriest sot in sensual annetite or
fierce passion of the soul a slave to demons who bind him hand and foot, and do with him whatsoever they please. A story is going the rounds, of a party of young ladies who were caught in a shower, and had the color washed from their cheeks. A lady at our elbow thinks the color in some of the gentleman's cheeks will not be washed out with water at present.
rite he rears up pchind tint kicks
fore so vurser as a mule. I dinks
him a liddle rite yesterday, unt so sooner
I gits straddle his pack he-pousmeucc dat
vay, tint ven lie gits tone, I vas so mix'd up mit every dinks. I vints mineself sitting; around packvards, mit his dail in inlm bants vor de pridlc.' 1 ,Vel, vot you going to do mit him?'' 40 ! I vixed him petter as cham up I hitch him in te cart suit his tail ere hU head ouht to pe ; den I gifc him anoat
a tozen cuts mit a hidecow : he starts to
go, but so soon he see to cart neforc him.
he makes packvards. Poorly soon he stumbles pehind, unt sits down on his tail, unt looks like he feel poorty shamed mit himzelf. Den I dakes him out. hitch him
de rite vay, mit his tail pehind. unt ho
goes rile of shust so rrood as anvnodv's
bony.'
A Dutchman's D
Be temperate in all ! Night. -"Vel, last Friday night vah tho n.iMvx i . 1 1 . . I vnral n 1 i r t no n ,,;.. ...... I . f i I i ,
.vot iaici v.-imi. i inougnt to go down de hill to mine house, but no 1 1 T 11.
sooner dui 1 walk den Ca faster I stand still, for te darkness vas so tick that I could not stit it mit mine pouts and de rain, (hinder and blixin! in more dan tree minutes mine skin vas vet to troo to mine cle-z. But arter von Ietle while it stopt quitten to rain something so I kept on feelen of mineself ali de vay long, and veil you corny s to mine own house to walk in, vat you think? mine Got! it pe longs to somepody else!"
Dr. Johnson said of female preaching
low uv flesh, full hides and short memo- People flock to hear a woman preach not
ries : hear the
know that where the canawl is, thar the crowd will be gathering. The Cayuga Chief is a feller that pitches into my frens, the speret dealers, and my other frens, the Slate Prison officers. He is one uv your cold water men uho goes for the prohibition law what the Supreme Court of Indianny vetoed. If it warn't Sunday I'd hooiay fur the Supreme Court fur I'm an orful sinner, the chief among ten thousand, and the one altergather luvly. Thirdly, 'Altergether luvlv.' Different things is luvly. When in boat swims like a duck, I say she am luvly when my wife gives me no curtain lectures, (she has the gift of tongue as ell as nivseif) I say she am luvly when" the wind 'don't
because she preaches well, but because she
preaches anyhow; just as they go to see a dog walk on. his hind legs, though he does not walk on them near so well as a man.
03 He who marries for beauty only, is like a buyer of cheap furniture the varnish that caught the eye will not endure the fireside blaze.
O" An Irishman hera-ine: of a friend having a stone coffin ma.le, exclaimed: "By me sow, and that's a good idee. Sure an a stone coffin 'ud last a man his life time."
OT A funny story is told of a man who stole a five dollar bill out in Indiana. In order to lessen the crime, his counsel endeavored to prove that the note was not Yorth five dollars, it being at a discount. The prosecutor said he knew the prisoner was the meanest man in the State, but he did not think he was so all-fired mean as not to be willing to steal Indiana money at par.
Or Why is a married man like a bad candle ? Because he sometimes goes cut at night when he oughtn't to,
If you don't want a woman fn nn
astray, the sooner you provide her with;.
haby the better. A blue-eyed boy will do more towards keeping Mrs. GhfMr'e morals sweet than all the sermcua that
were ever preached. IakuyFj
T y
OuTBodib says that pcoplo who endorse notes are called "sureties." for thU r,,v, ,.
m nine cases out of t;n they ary "sure" to by called upoon for the monev.