The Butcher-Knife, Volume 2, Number 2, Danville, Hendricks County, 8 August 1857 — Page 1

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THE BUTCHER-KNIFE. "TALL OAKS FROM LITTLE ACORNS GROW. "

VOL. 2.

ANTILLE, AUGUST 0, 1857.

i-TA

2.

Negro Wit. 'How mush you charge, Massa Magistrate, to marry me and Miss Dinah?

is published every wai uiiisax raornin, in the town of Daaville, and tie Stftte of Indiana, !ttru-

.... . . A m 1 w I. I i tr

and will m furaisaed to Ettfcscnfcen ct tlie

extremely modcratj pries -of twenty-five cen per ropy, consisting of twelve numbers.

be addressed to GEORGE GREGG, Eiitcr.

Dog Training. A hopeful youth, who was the owner of a young bull terrier, was one day training the animal in the act of being ferocious, and wanting some ani- (! object to set the dog upon ; his dadconsiderable persuasion, consen- , down upon all fours and fight .Youn" America began to urge

ter-boy seize him &c; ' ade a dip' and got a le old man's proboscis,

v he couldn't. So he ! magisterial boot.

Hh tie pain caused by . 'Grin and bear it

Why, Clem, I'll marry yc:i for two

dollars.' 'Two dollars what ye charge to marry white folks, Massa?'. 'W generally charge them 05, Clem.' 'Well, ye marry us like white 'folks, and I'll give ye live dollars, too 'Why, Clem, that's a curious notion, but as you desire it, I'll marry you like white folks, for five dollars The ceremony being over, and Clem and Dinah made one, the magistrate asked for his fee. 'Oh no massa, ye no come to de greement ye no kiss de bride! Get out of my ofice you black rascal

Exit Clem, a little in advance of the

'ount scapegrace. lihetnakin of the

ill heard of the smiles V7q were ouch pleased , pirn's idea of the subject. . mcrninfT, Uncle Jim vJd morning, sir - - .'ell, you've'got your daughter married off have you! ' 'Yes 'Really, Providence cmilcd on you. 'Smiled! no blecs you ho snickered risrht out!'

0"- 'Eliza, my child said a very prudish old maid to her pretty neice, who T7culd curl her hair in beautiful ringlets, 'if the Creator had intended your hair to be curltd, he would havedono it himself.' 'Bo he did aunty, when I was a baby, but he thinks I an big enough now to curl it mycelf

rZ7 A windy M. P. in a tedious oration, stepped to imbibe a glan of water. 'I rice said Sheridan, 'to a point of orCrr.' Ever body stared wondering what t!.3 pir.tcf order ".ra:. 'I think, sir continued C!::ri".n, 'it h cut cf crd:r for w f ! 1 1 f -v f ? t r-- 4 m f

Or 'First class in Oriental philosophy will stand up. Thibbets, what is life!' Life consists of money, a horse, and fashionable wife.' Good! Next what is death?' 'A paymaster, who settles everybody's debts, and gives them tombstones as receipt:? in full of all demands 'What is poverty?' 'The reward of Genius generally receives from a discriminating public What is religion?' 'Doing unto others as you please, trilhout allowing them a rctr cf the compliment What is feme?' 'A sis line puff in a newspaper while living, and your fortune to your enemies when dead

DT" A Boston trader called at a country (arm house, soma time ago; to buy4 cheese, but when he came to loo!: at the lot he concluded not to take it, it was so full of skippers. As he was ftoin? o tbo

farmer said to him:

Look here, mister, how can I get my cheese down to Boston the chespsrt?' The trader took another leek at it, and seeing more and more evidence cf its being alive, replied: . 'Well, let it be a day or two longer, and I guess can crivi t::::i rijt C.rrnV .fHV-ss t "f l t t,n 1sa9' m laborer cf a bey. 'Don't know, or 'What dess Vcur father tzt en" D.tur 1 . - .i .

, ., j . j i . ..J iiii.i whtri call :d cn to rsriti hi ; Irrcn in history, wa? ared: 'What is the "German Diet corn'roe'd oH Thi boy rerlisd:

'CsurkVout; t::!inr;- hvrr brf and 'Get!' carl tko boy, 'r,hy he rets 3 . . . yJ . . ..1. l .... 1.., .- -'. -

tjz cumercura. iioy rrcmrtca ir.;tanter. iJT' -J

Write Plainly. - A clergyman of/ Massachusetts, more than a century ago addressed a letter to the General Court on some subject of interest which was then under discussion. The clerk read the lettoer, in which there seemed to be this very remarkable sentence: 'I address you not as magistrates, but as Indian devils.' The clerk hesitated, looked carefully, and said: 'Yes, he addresses you a Indian devils The wrath of the honorable body was aroused: they passed a vote of censure, and wrote to the reverend gentleman for explanation, from which it appeared that he did not address them as magistrates but as individuals. A Strands Adventure. -- Mr. Redblosom drank more than his usual allowance of Rum and sugar one cold night last week, the consequence of which was he gave his wife a rather confused account

of his conduct cn -bis return cms;

'Mr. Smith's grocery store invited mo to go in and drink cousin Sam and you ceo the weather was dry and I was very sloppy so I didn't mind punchin' cue drink audit's queer howmyhead went, into the punch, though! The way hcwas so dizzy that I slipped on a 1 do?r the corner of the street bit r an-old gentleman with cropper" brass collar cn his neck said hi to the dog and I was yea undt hie that is, I don't know nothing icro about it . 07 Ther is a good story told cf a handsome Yankee peddler who made love to a buzom widow, down in Pennsylvania. Ho accompanied his declaration with an illustration to two impediments to their union. 'Name them said tho widow. 'The want of means to set up a retail They parted, and tho widow cent tho peddler a cheque for ample means.

vvhen they met again tho peaaier naa hired and stocked his store, and the emiliner fair one beed to know tho other 'Ikavs get a wife,9

c!l

r ":: !: 'Do nc-rcn cr:r go to h:-.r: On being told that they u;I; if th:y wcro rhri.t;- r-) r-H: Vc:l Ged ('an'fc

! at and I in then as Ld d::3 v;L:to fc!':,

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