The Butcher-Knife, Volume 1, Number 8, Danville, Hendricks County, 20 June 1857 — Page 4

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The Judge of av Western court recently decided a point adverse to' a certain lawyer. - Lawyer was stubborn, and insisted that the Court was wicng. ' "I tell you that I am right!" yelled the

Court, with flashing eyes.' "I tell you, you are not?" retorted the

Man. We take the following rich morsel from one of Dow Jr.'s "Short Patent

n .

ceniioufi..

"I am ri-ht!" reiterated the Court.

I eay you ain't!" persisted the

"Man looks upon life , just as lie does

upon "woman there is no living with them, and he can't live without them.--tta Tvill run after them, and, rather than bo held he will loose his coat tail and character hiss them for love, and kiss

them for leading him into trouble." So

- Wc know a number. cf ycar.g" ..." w

who hate consumed largo quantities

-midnight oil" in studying the art of p1 nogfaphy, and all to little purpose, fcr, : ter all their labors, they couldn't cerl

Biibscnocr woo io?a ; iwt.i u j uv vu

ular way: . Mr. editor & co cur i wisht youd

.... t .

cend -. -'s paper by male tnc.aani um

Cl.

Crier," yelled the Judge,

I a

ft! PHI Hi iCUUliJ;: una iuww v. ... I . . 4

i.r. i,n rtWs nf its measures and doant cum haf- the tun we suppose sum.

. ... ,i i i i i-il flAnnuffh tnr f.h LLlu

DC'lIU" Sltti-3 ib w Hi'- ywi'WMo "

the court for ten minutes!" And jumping from the bench, he pitched into the counsel, and after a lively little .fight, placed himhors du combat; after which

buehcrs was .again resumed, but it 7o; not lonr before another misunderstanding arose. "Crier" said the court, "we 'ill adjourn this time for twenty minutes!" and be was about taking off his coat, when the counsel said: "Never mind, . Judge, keep on your coat the p'int is yielded my thumb's ont o' j'int and I've sprained my shoul-

then curses it for" its pains; gathers bo-

men curves iu iu "-v . . t u:.. ,i ,i,f.- thoxr hlnsnmsUfrpnf'. r.p lmw that no boddy on tne canci

have faded, he finds. himself in possession Rode ant rcspsiblefer. em, i rite .for - the ... i i u ' . i -? ,5fr. lrt Voin rmnfi fib CCIlt

of a bunch of briars, which is all owing

to a little incident that occurred in Paradise when man was as green as a tobaccoworm; and unsuspicious as a tree-toad in a thunder storm. He was told to in

crease and multiply, and so he according

rekwest of his wife he bein gone fib' cent

who thinks a grate ell of the papir. Yours & Co -

qA clerk in Boston was called on for "money or his blood" -the other night

crease and multiply, anu so no b frf u dreom ly increased his cares and corse. , and store ot ,

"Margery, what did you do with that tallow that Mr. Jones greased his boots with this morning?" "Please, marm, I baked the griddle cakes with it." "You did; I thought you. had wasted

J .. ,i,!coel:6t the Key 10 uie u.o v...

multiplied ms miseucs, ua , -t fpr

world witn a parcel 01 cauuiuaiw iw p.

ditlon, and I am one of them.

nid lied.

1 t4li

; -"Tom, you sot," said a -temperance man to a tippling friend." what makes you drink such stuff as you do?

why the very hogs wouldn't touch ttiat Strikes me it was a pound of V

brandy!" "That's 'cause they is Druits said Tom. "Poor creeters! they dunno

.frrTem, you seem to

day the grocery business must

.with you;-what' did you . weigii J "Well, Simon, I really forget no

what's good."

.ir

"Will you give me them pennies now?'' said a hi?' newsboy to a little cue, after

j gIVing lllill EVtlU HiJ"t. 7 -j . . v. . f .fnor0 -ri f a nrPUr,n t rsnll rrivft von another ; ?reat franimess.

lkru p , ..i. I .t.,,- Mp. ntid Dr. "Was the other boy bigger than you?

ggj "Do you go to schr ley?" "Yen, sir, I had a; he repl !':". "You had! Which whipped?"

Oh, I got whipped," he replied witn

enthusiasts, no one has done so much to pounding." "Pound away. Me and Dr. cnlarre the sphere of woman in a praeti- j Franklin agree. Dr. Franklin says, take

cal way as--hoops.

care of the pence, and the pounds 'will

take care of themselves. ' The papers are bragging of an invention by

. .1 f'O I', I f J I I 1' 1 llllli VI WVnJ

(i of ' ilICil lt'iktXJt'i tau v v

fVMan doubles all the evils of his fate

by pondering ever them; a scratch be-

comes a wound, a sngiu an mjuiy, . 3 , scen the huwaa llide, l10wevGrvtanan insult, a small peril a great danger goiae &chociniasterS can do it in and a slight sickness often ends m death ( lharitwo '

by brooding apprehensions.

"Xo, lie was muui . " Well, how came you to lctVlittle boy whip you." . ' "Oh, you see he was madder nor I

irV"

-Neither wealth nor birth, but mind

only, should be the aristocracy of a free

QrTo make a young lady six fathoms deeo in happiness, give her two canary

birds, half a dozen moonbeams, .twenty yards of silk, a crinoline rkirt, an ice cream, several rosebuds, a squeeze cf the hand, and the promise of a new bennet. If she don't melt, it will be because she can't Tiieeu are only three ways of getting out of a serepe write out, back out, but the best way is to keep out.

O A Frenchman who was exhibiting some relics and other curiedtics, produced, among other things, a swerd, which ho assured Ins visitors "was do sword Balaam had vea ho

killed do 23." A spectator

Balaam had co ftwerd but only wished for cn

"Very well, dis is tao one as visacu u.

poet in the "Boston Post," while celebrating in lofty verse the inns of Chicago finally concludes by saying that

"Chicago is an mn-famous city. . . A Class in Musio,"First class in

.rked that sacred music, stand up, now many

hinds of metr arc there?"

"Three, sir long metre, siicrt metre,

j ' ,j wArenTlemn was dining at one of and mcet'er by moonlight alc-e?M . i r 1 1 ..ii.n i.U 1-.f t-.M ?"-htr

our foshionablo hotels. Peas had just

come in season, and everybody called mr peas, peas, until they were all gene. .The gentleman was-very fend of p?as, but he was too late, so, rising and throwing himself in the attitude of Patrick Henry, he exclaimed: "Gentleman may ery peas, peas, but there is no peas."

"Who told yon that, you l:by?"'

"Bill Jones,. sir."

"Hat, What are yoii leaning over that empty cask for.?" . "I'm mcuriibg CKi departed spirits," was the answer.

t7Weatker is clear and pleasant.