Pike County Democrat, Volume 24, Number 50, Petersburg, Pike County, 27 April 1894 — Page 3

S?hr f ik» (EountgUmomt M McG. STOOPS. Editor and Proprietor- ' - INDIANA PETERSBUKG. 9f> MP^oMison

[Copyright, 1891, by l the Author.] HEN John Davis lay awake all one night a • year ago, he swore by all

that was holy and much that lacked a sanctimonious flavor that, if he lived until morning, he would have that "blasted, blauketed tooth out I say blanketed, because he had at that time a large aromatic poultiee on his manly jaw. It was one 6f those flannel-bag poultices such as bur wires delight to concoct when we wake up in the middle of the night, and is guaranteed to be a remedy for anything, from a toothache to a sore toe. Come to think, I did not see one at the world’s fair. Somebody must have blundered. It should have been there—woman’s tribute to her sick spouse. Sometimes it’s a mustard poultice. Again it shows up as an old friend in another guise, and they call it hop or flaxaseed; but it’s the same old gag. A bag of hot sawdust on a man’s jaw would be just as effective, and wouldn’t talk near so loud. In John’s' case she had mixed up a very delightful poultice. She was sleepy, and had therefore put in about everything the pantry and medicine chest contained, and the result was a very drawing poultice. In fact it drew John’s breath. It was to John what the satellite is to the earth. It had drawn one ear over to the ba^k of his neck, and his nose had wandered down on his chin somewhere. These returned after awhile, but he has been cross-eyed ever since he wore that poultice As a drawing card it was a rousing success. Ever and anon it would pull away at John’s molar. It would lift that tooth gently out of its socket and let it fall with « dull thud. Then John would sit up in bed and swear in soft, manly accents, and Maria would say, sleepily: “It must be doing it good, John!” Then the tooth would get quiet again, and John would get a little catnap; hut that old poultice kept right on “drawin’.” It would draw a few flies for a change, and as a tickler would alight ou John’s face he would mutter something in his sleep and smite the offender. Then he would awake with a stage start, rub his jaw and drop a large, blue oath that cut his wife’s heart. & As the dawu began to break John got up and built a fire in the kitchen stove. It was the first time on record, but he did it Then he put his swelled head in the oven and a peaceful smile broke over his distorted features— one of those happy smiles we let go of when we are just dead sure what thim^ble the pea is under. It was a spile 1that was meant to be cherubic, but its

X BOLT FOURTH B IXMJB. expression was Satanic when it spread itself on John’s lop jaw. However, the smile and the wanning did the business, for by breakfast-time the toothache had departed and the swelling had gone down. John went to the office, his vows fresh in his mind, but a vision of a dentist’s chair arose and haunted him. He did not forget the horrors of the previous night, but they were as naught compared to his men al picture of .that soft reclining chair with its litt^ table of forceps. The thought saddened him and he forgot his vows. John possessed a very strong will, so he cast the unpleasant subject from him. “I will not let it worry me,” he thought “1 will go boldly about my, business till the tooth aches again, then just as boldly will I go to the dentist’s office. I will not knock. 1 will go right in, enter pleasantly, crack a joke, ask if 1 am ‘next’ I will imagine myself going to be shaved, and get the bar—the dentist—to hypnotize me with his oratory. I will sit down in the seat of torture restiully and p^cefu ly, and listen to the latest joke on Jones. Thus lulled to a false sense of security, the operator will adjust his forceps on my acher. Then a pull—a start—Rip c-r-r-rash! Boom-ter-ra! Oh! my Lord; I can’t stand that nohow,” »nd John wiped the clammy sweat [from his brow and went to work resolving to try the faith cure instead. [So John didn’t have his tooth hauled, but chewed his grub on the other side and persuaded himself that he was fooling that old one-eyed molar in his upper jaw. But old mole, like a politic general, simply smiled and waited. • • # * ^ These st ^rs represent the days that John thought he was fooling the molar because he didn’t have the toothache. He was working the faith cure. Again he reasoued: “.Nature is economical When that

muted nerve finds out it has not an office to perform in my system it will take a tumble to itself and die. Nature does not maintain that for which she has no use. ” The large star on the end represents John’s last day of grace, and is also the date set for the lodge supper. John was on hand early, for it was to be a grand blow out Be sat down to a plate of co,ld tongue and forgot his tooth. He ate tongue and listened to the* witty remarks by the speakers He roared with mirth and reached for a piece of shad. Then he roared again. There was a sound of revelry by night, and John reveled. Then a small insignificant three-eighths of an inch shad bone got into the hole in the tooth, and the reflex action of his jaw drove it clear home. The toastmaster had just said: “Let us be thankful for our prosperity. and remember that our guiding star is a just one—and that our misfortunes are tempered with mercy. What seems to be an arrow in our heart proves but a well-directed thorn to turn us from the larger ills that may befall

He was interrupted by a large Arapahoe Indian war-whoop, and one of the diners shot out of his chair like a projectile leaving its mortar, leaving in its train a sulphurous smell and a profane, blue atmosphere. It was ifohn. A bolt for the door, succeeded by a noise like a loaded lime cask going downstairs three at a bump, and all was still. Then the company roared. There was,a doctor’s office in the next block, and hither John hied himself. The doctor removed the offending bone and applied some cresote. It deadened the pain instantly, but the shock to John’s nervous system was not effaced by three large brandies and a week's rest. He went home without life hat and kicked his wife for spite. When he appeared on the street again he had his pockets loaded with cigars. This bribed som& of the boys, but the tooth isn’t out yet. John’s wife is a little meek woman, and weighs about ninety pounds. She called quietly on the dentist the other I day and had seven teeth hauled; but I then, remember—she had not been aggravated by that infernal poultice. IMPERFECTLY REHEARSED. Confuint Incidents of Lafayette's Reception at Halifax. William M. Polk says, in his life of Hishop Polk, that when Lafayette, in 1824, mifde his memorable tour through the United States, many amusing1 incidents accompanied his passage through North Carolina. Gen. Polk, the governor and a cavalry escort, under command of Gen. Daniel, met the distin- ; guished guest near the Virginia line. | There was much handshaking and ; speech-making. Lafayette spoke but little English, and understood less. He had retained a few phrases, such as “Thanks!” “My dear friend,” “Great country!” “Happy man!” “Ah, I remember!” And though he usually utr ; tered these in an effective manner, they were sometimes ludicrously malapropos. At Halifax the cortege was met by Gen. Daniel, who had stationed a company of soldiers by the roadside, flanked bv the ladrfes who had assembled to do honor to the guest of the state. It had been arranged that the ladies should wave their handkerchiefs as soon as Lafayette came in sight, and wjien Daniel exclaimed: “Welcome, Lafayette!” the whole company was to repeat the words after him. Unluckily, the .ladies misunderstood the programme and waited too long, only to be reminded of their duty by a stentorian command of “Flirt, ladies, flirt, J"say!” from the general, as he walked down the line to meet the marquis.

r*qu2tJiy uiisuuurraiiiuuiuK tucir parb, the soldiers, instead of shouting, “Welcome, Lafayette!” in unions at the close of the general's speech, repeated the sentence one by one in varying tones. Now, a deep voice would exclaim: “Welcome, Lafayette!” Then the next man would squeak, in a shrill tenor, “Welcome, Lafayette!” So it wfent on down the line. Gen. Daniel, frantic at this burlesque of his order, vainly attempted to correct it; but as he unfortunately stammered when he was excited, bis “Say it all to-to-to-geth-er!” could not overtake the running fire of “Welcome, Lafayette!” which continued all along the line. “Great country! great country!” replied Lafayette, turning to Gen. Polk, who was vainly trying not to smile. Recognizing an old acquaintance, Lafayette greeted him with great effusion. “Ah, my dear friend, so glad to see you once more! Hope you have prospered and had good fortune these years!” “Yes, general, yes; but 1 have had the great misfortune to lose my wife since 1 saw’ you. ” Catching the word “wife,” Lafayette guessed at the idea of a recent marriage, and patting his old friend affectionately on the shoulder, he exclaimed: “Happy man! happy man!”—Youth’s Companion. Caine from Scotland. An important question in theology ' was settled the other day by two little ; boys of this city, one aged four and the j other five years. Little four-year-old ! said to the other; “Where did that I little baby come from that is at your house. Robbie Stephen?” The answer was: “He came from Heaven and you came from Heaven, too, Willie Henderson.” The reply came back as quicK as a flash: “No 1 didn’t, I came from Scotland.”—Omaha Bee. tiaine U«i In Force. The city young man staying in the country for a week thought he would go for a hunt. “I say, landlord,” he remarked one morning, “are there any game laws in force around here?” “Yes,” replied the landlord, lazily; “it’s purty much here as it is most everywhere else; nobody but a durn fool’s goin’ to trump his pardner’s aoe*”—Detroit Free Press

thbMquestion of wages. The Protected Boron* Are Very Mach Concerned About the Wage* of Their Employe*—Their Knormoai Profit* of Minor Consequence. Still the republican cry is: “Wages must go down if the Wilson bill be* comes a law. If we must compete with foreign manufacturers on more nearly equal terms we must produce at lower cost, and in order to produce at lower cost we must cut wages.” And that is the end of the argument Nothing farther will be admitted to consideration as having any possible bearing on the question.

But two very important things am wholly excluded from the argument First there is the matter of profits It does not necessarily follow that domestic goods must be produced at lower icost because they will have to be sold at lower prices. If profits have been excessive goods may be sold at lower prices without reducing the cost by merely sacrificing part of the profits— the part in excess of fair profits. If it is not necessary to reduce cost it certainly will not be necessary to reduce wages This important matter of profits is precisely what the protected interests have refused to give the census bureau and, congressional committees information about And it is the point above all others upon which beggars for protection by act of congress ought to be required to impart exact and full information. Every beggar who refuses to give that information ought to be summarily dismissed with the injunction to protect himself and never appear again insolently demanding favors from congress. Second, there is the important matter of materials. Under the Wilson bill domestic goods would be produced at lower cost because the leading raw materials would be free, and materials advanced beyond the raw state would be1*! subject to greatly reduced duties. Senatorial botch work may require a modification of this statement, but even in its present form the bill greatly favors manufacturers. This fact the tariff beneficiaries very carefully ignore. Senator Smith, of New Jersey, recently said:; “I have heard tha manufacturers are very much pleased with the Wilson bill. Its passage will give them an opportunity to increase their profits 15 to 20 per cent, by cutting down wages, and at the same time charge that it is made necessary by the tariff bill. They will not say that by the bill they will save large percentages on the cost of raw materials.” And he might have added advanced materials. • And so the game is to cut wages upon a false pretense and pocket larger profits. “The tariff is all a matter of wages,” j say the philanthropists, who spend time and money in Washington looking after the interests of their dear hired men and women. “If the tariff goes down wages must go down in the same ratio.” Very well, then if the tariff goes up wages must go up in the same ratio. This is a rule which must work both ways if the tariff is all a matter of wages. ’But how was it after the passage of the McKinley law in 1890? The law advanced duties nearly all along the line. And yet wages did not go up. , On the contrary, they went down in the protected industries very soon after the law went into effect.’ Take the • woolen industry for instance. In 1890 the duties on woolen manufactures , averaged 69. OS per cent.; in 1893 they averaged 98.55 per cent. The McKinley law increased the average rate 29.47 points, or 42.6 per cent. The factory operatives did not get the benefit of that. Their wages were lower after the passage of the McKinley law than they were before In the carpet branch | of the woolen industry facts which have been published show a cut averaging more than,10 per cent And no doubt the cut was as great in other branches, i And so it was in other industries It is notorious that the McKinley act. so ! j far from advancing wages had no effect ! even to prevent a decline in the very j industries which were most favored by I that act And as the McKinley act did ; not raise wages, so the Wilson bill will J not^ lower wages Wages have been j and no doubt will be reduced upon the false pretense that the Wilson - bill makes a reduction necessary. But the falseness of the pretense will be uncovered in good time, and then wages will go up again. The manufacturer may not make quite so much, but with his materials wholly or partially un- j taxed he will not have to close his mills ; and go to the poorhouse. He will sur- 1 vive and his employes will have more i steady work and quite as good wages. —Chicago Herald.

AN OLD SOPHISM. A Calamity Howl Id Recard to the Work of Tariff Reform. Pope Bob Ingersoll paade a speech at the Vermillion county republican convention the other day. He said he was out of politics, and proceeded to prove it by saying that he was a republican and earnestly desired the success of the party because of the prosperity it would bring1 to the country. Then he turned loose a calamity howl, charging the hard times to the democratic party. It was the same howl with which we have all been^familiar for months. Capitalists were afraid to invest in manufacturing because free trade was imminent, and merchants were not' buying because they were waiting for j free trade prices. Pope Bob is not particular about ' facts. Being out of politics, he makes it his business to naint a future of imaginary ruin and lay it all to the democratic party. He told the Vermillion republicans that “a nation which produced raw material for export would always be cursed with poverty.” That has been said many times by the supporters of the system of licensed robbery, and it doesn’t mean any more when it is said by Bob Ingersoll. There is no more reason why a country producing raw material for export should ’ be any more cursed with poverty than j a country producing other things or nothing at all to export The assertion is sheer assumption, absolutely without foundation in fact or reason. And the unexpressed assumption that under free trade this country would devote itself to producing raw

material for export and stop mavelkcttiring- is equally without foundation. Manufactures were established and prospered in the American colonies, not only without protection, but in spite of the most strenuous efforts of Great Britain to discourage and suppress them. They have been diversified and extended and have flourished under all systems of taxation and with either much or little legislative fostering- In many branches Americans can defy competition from any quarter to-day in spite of the disadvantages under which they are placed by the protective tariff. They are now exporting brass, c carriages, cars, clocks and watches, cotton goods, manufactures of flax, hemp and jute, manufactures of iron and steel, leather, boots and shoes and many other articles of manufacture which are objects of legislative solicitude and protection. It is utterly irrational to assert that undos free trade we would stop manufacturing things that we are now exporting and selling under great disadvantages in open competition against all the world.

The American people are ingenious, inventive, energetic, enterprising and capable of obtaining the maximum of product at a minimum expenditure of labor and other productive means. Among such a people manufactures, need no encouraging by legislation. They cannot be suppressed. They will be diversified and prosper even in spite of adverse legislation. Such a people have no reason to fear free competition in their own markets. Those of them who are engaged in manufacturing ought to be ashamed to ask protection. They ought to be too proud to beg favors upon what amounts to a plea of inferiority and incapacity. They ought to welcome free trade with all mankind and give their attorneys some better business to do than that of revamping the worn-out and disrepute able sophisms which still serve tt)e purposes cf thd cowardly tramp system of protectionism.-^Chicago Herald. WOOL DUTIES. Political Yifdol-Grower Lawrence Won’t Subside. Judge Lawrence, the political woolgrower of Ohio, has been heard from once more on his favorite topic. After a suspicious and delusive silence he has written a latter to the Wool and Cotton Reporter o: Boston, which shows that he still holds New England responsible for “adequate” duties on wool. Present duties he considers entirely inadequate. What Lawrence means is prohibition of foreign wools altogether. He has said this more than once in times past, and he sticks to it. His letter to the Reporter closes thus: “Inadequate duties—those which dc not sufficiently protect—are po better than free wool - The democratic party will go out of power' at the first election when it is possible, and the wool-growers intend to have as full protection as that given to carpet manufacturers—that is, such as will soon enable our wool-growers to supply all needed wools and then import none. It will come to this, or to.free wool and free woolen goods, and New England may as well know it. They are invited to join in the policy which will give to American labor all that American labor can supply. ” Poor New England! She does not control the present congress. She can no more stop the Wilson bill than she can prevent the world from turning on its axis, and yet the tyrannical Lawrence wants her to know that free wool means free woollen goods! How does he know that? Is protection for the advantage of the whole country, or is it a mere bargain between this and that industry; that is, a game of grab? If it is for the advantage of the whole country, then a patriotic wool-grower would say: “I am sorry I cannot have a duty on wool, but if I can aot, I will advocate and support as many other duties as possible, for the sake of the country.” Not so Lawrence. He becomes worse than the dsmoc rats. They are willing to give the woollen men 35 or 40 per cent He would give them nothing at all What shall l>e done to such a peevish child?*—N. Y. Evening Post_v

STRAY CATTLE. American Cows anil Their Alleii Progeny— A Tariff Leak. It seems that with the utmost foresight and cunning the protectionist legislators cannot stop all the gaps in their high tariff wall. When cattle stray into Mexico they are s abject to a duty of $10 a head when brought across the border; but express, provision was not made in the Me Kinley act for collecting a duty on the calves born of American cows when on Mexican soil. A collector of customs in Arizona during the recent administration was accused by a government informer of having failed tc> impose a duty in a case in which American cows and Mexican-born calves * were concerned; whereupon collectors were directed to levy a duty of $£) a head on all such calves. And*thus the matter stands at the present hour. In order to afford relief to graziers, whose cattle may stray over the line into Mexico or which may be driven over for fresh pasturage, it is proposed in the Wilson tariff bill that all such cattle may be brought back to the United States free of duty. It is suggested that this does not provided for the calves born of cattle that may' have strayed or been driven into Mexico. But this is, perhaps, drawing too fine a sight. When the stray cattle shall have been made free no collector of customs would so strain the law as to levy a tax on their young. In the* absence of an express provision on the subject a collector could fall back on the maxim of the ancient civil law, which, when translated, means the offspring follows the condition of the dam. When the cows shall have become free (of duty) the calves will also be free.—Philadelphia Record. —“Senator Gorman insists,’* says the G^^eston News (Dem.), “that ‘the penile have no reason to suspect that senators are swayed by selfish considerations.’ Then let Senator Gorman explain all this sugar, coal, iron and! collar and cuff business." ,

FKOFKSSIONAli CUBMi J. T. KHCB. M. DU Physician and Surgeon, PKTKBSBUBG, IXD. tn Bank building, first floor. WR be found at office day or night. GEO. B. ASHBY, ATTORNEY AT LAW PETERSBURG, INB. Prompt Attention Grren to all Bnxinesa na-Offlee over Barrett A Son's store. Francis B. Posit. Dewitt Q. CsimiL POSEY & CHAPPELL, Attorneys at Law, Petersburg, Ixd Will practice in all the courts. Special attention given to all business. A Notary Public constantly in the office. g^Offiee— On first floor Bank Building. E. A. Ely. S. G. Dav*>fO*T ELY & DAVENPORT, LAWYERS. Petersburg, Isd. a^-Office over J. R. Adams & Son's dru[ !ii.re. Prompt attention given to allbuai 1». Rich Ait dsoji A. H. TAYLOR RICHARDSON A TAYLOR, Attorneys at Law, Petersburg, Isd. Prompt attention given to all business. A Notary Public constantly in the oflU-e. Ofilet n Carpenter Building, Eighth and Main.

1JKNTISTRY. k \Y. II. STONECIPHER,

Surgeon Dentist, „ PETERSBURG, IND. uffloe In rooms « and 7 In Carpenter Buildini'. Operations first-class. All work war-rai-.te 1. Anaesthetics used for painless ex'traction of teetli. s . ' NELSON STONE, D. V. $., PETERSBURG, IND. Owing to long practice and the possession of a fine library and case of instruments, Mr. Stone is well prepared to treat all Diseases of Horses and Cattle 'SUCCESSFULLY. 8e also keeps on hand a stock of Condition Pow ders and Liniment, which he sells at reasonable prices. Office Over J. B. Young & Co.’s Store. - -^-1— Machinist AND Blacksmith. ( am prepared to do the best of work. wlU letliiaction guaranteed in all kinds of .Blacksmithing. Also ' loving and. Reaping Machines ■••paired in the best or workmanship 1 em ploy none but first-class workmen. Do not go from home to get your work, but call et me at my shop on Main Street, Petersbari Indiana. CHAS. VEECK, TRUSTEES’ NOTICES OF OFFICE OAT. NOTICE is hereby given that I will attend to the duties of the office of trustee of Clay township at home on V j i EVERT MONDAY. All persons who have business with the office will take notice that I will attend to business on no other day. M. M. GOWEN, Trustee, NOTICE Is hereby given to all parties Interested that 1 will attend at my office iu Stendal, EVERT STAUBDAY, To transact business connected with the office of trustee of Lockhart township. All persons having business with said office will please take notice. J. S. BARRETT. Trustee. __I____ tNOTICE is hereby given to all parties ooa- 4 cerned tout I will be at my residence. EVERY TUESDAY, To attend to business connected with th# office of Trustee of Monroe township. GEORGE GRIM. Trustee. NOTICE is. hereby given that I will be at my residence EVERY THURSDAY _ To attend to business connected with the office of Trustee of Logan township. SVPositively no business transacted ex cent on office days. SILAS KIRK, Trustee. . NOTICE is hereby given to ull parties concerned that I «III attend at my residence EVERY MONDAY To transact business connected with tht office of Trustee of Madison township. ^•Positively no business transacted except office days JAMES RUMBLE, Trustee. NOTICE is hereby given to all persons, in-tere.-jted that I will attend in my office I* WIpen, EVERY FRIDAY, To transaot business connected with the office of Trustee of Marlon township. AH persons having business with said affio* will please take notice. W. F. BROCK. Trustee. NOTICE la hereby give™ to all person* concerned that I will attend at my offiee EVERY DAI fo transact buslne-s connected with tb« of Trustee of Joffaraon township. & W. HARRIS, Crust**

O. <55 Ifcv£. 0B10& VISSISS1FPI RAiLlAT. TB3 VAST XdZ3SflT3B EAST & WEST. 4 SslM, Bally Tratan to CtarlnMttt* 4 8*114 Dally Trains «• St, Loala, 5 Soil* Dally Train* to Loaiarlll*. Connecting In Union Depots, with tnlJD of all llnesfor the East, Waot, North and Sooth. Through Vestibule my Coaches, PnllaMU Parlor Cars and Slaepers on all Train* DOUBLE DAILY LINE. -or— ^ , Pullman Vestibule Buffet Sleepers fro* St. Louis and Stations on ttalu Line WasbingtOtt,Baitimore,Philadelpba and Nev Tort, vitliont change, t- Eastward From Washington. Ko J Accommodation 12 67 P, M, No. 2. l>ay Express 118 P. St No. 4. Night E xpresa 1257 A. St No. 4 Fast Expresa . * 05. A. It Westward Form Washington No. 7 Accommodation 12 42 P. It No. 1 Day Express 12 57 P. M No. S Night Expresa 12SSA Bt No. 6 Fast Expresa 205 A a* Home Seekers Moving WesT Should take this line as tt baa less change* of cares and better accommodations than other route* Our Vestibule cars are a luxury, which may be enjoyed by ail, without extra.charges, an) •very attention hi given our passengers to make their Journey pleasant and comforta* ble. Our agents will take pleasure In answering Inquiries in regard to rates for both passen* gers and freight,-time, routes and connao* tons; call at vour home if desired and at* tend to shipping freight by the moat direct route* and cheecklngbaggage.without charge for any assistance they may be able to ren* dor. N. B.—Passenger* should purchase tickets before entering the ears, as the ticket rate 1 tan cents less than the train rate. Communications addressed to the nndao signed will receve prompt attention, , thoma4 DONAHUE, Ticket Agent O. A M. R’y Washington lad C. G. Jones, District Passenger Agt. Vincennes Ind. J. P. BARNARD, Wl B. SHATTUC Proa, and M’gr. Gr’n. PshAg CINCINNATTI •BIO. F. A. SHANDY. PIOTOpHEH eAM!LY GROUP AND RESIDENCES A SPECIALTY. - All kinds of out-door work, por* traits, copying and enlargingf root oldj pictures &c. Birthday and surprise party groups a specialty. Satisfaction guaranteed or no pay* •Give me a call, or address F. A. SHANDY, P&tersburq Indiana. Petersburg - f M. J. BRADY, Photographer, i Petersburg, Indiana, Will make you Photos In any number at most reasonable rates. ggf*Remen>ver that my work ta we* ranted. If vi a want PORTRAITS enlarged eal and .are the work done right. All work guaranteed to stand the toot 4 ages and still be as bright aa when take* from the gallery. - Studio equipment* of standard modem makes. < Our motto—“ The Best Is Ae Good Ad Any,and Always the Cheapest/* M. J. BRADY. Gallery io Eisert’s Building, upstair*, e» Main, between Sixth and Seventh Monuments Best material, most reasonable prices. **•» Isfaotlon guaranteed at Petersburg l*lo»» ble Works -J. A B. YOUNG, ProprtetofO THIS' PAPER IS ON FILE IN CHICAGO AND NEW YORK AT THE OFFICES OF A. N. KELLOGG NEWSPAPER CO.

rtOVlE/tfr

i *

*ISH BR^

This Trad* Mark is on th* best WATERPROOF COAT in the World! A. J. TOWER. BOSTON. MASS. > par and fUUroatf andaaatur* tours men •“SiSSJl'fflitiK-•£ SJSS"- *•**“*'