Pike County Democrat, Volume 16, Number 15, Petersburg, Pike County, 20 August 1885 — Page 4

PIKE com DEMOCIUT, Published Every Thursday., PETERSBURG. - - - INDIANA THE MODERN CALENDAR. When bill-collectors come in fast, And dun unhappy man For debts incurred for twelve months past, Why then we know Its Jan. When comic valentines are mailed To us without an ebb. We wish the unknown sender jailed. And realize it’s Feb. When thaws begin, and o’er the street The slush is deep afar, (Which mis our gums and wets our foot). Why then we know it's Mar. Whene’er wo see strange bonnets worn Of some new ugly shape, By ladies on an Easter morn, We’ro very sure it's Ap. When wives transplant their potted flowers Unto the front yard gay, And husbands white Wash walls for hour*, Why then we know it's May. When love-sick youth doth serenad His girl with nightly tune. Upon a flute so vilely played). It dawns on us it’s Jun. When collars perspiration wilts— Flies and mosquitos rule, And preachbrs take vacation tilts Why then we know it’s Jul. Whene’er the farmer “sics” at tramps His big bloodthirsty dog, When apples green give small boys cramps. We're positive it’s Aug. When back from sca-shoro come the “crooks." • Who skipped while landlord slept. And paid no scores charged in his book. Why then wo know it's Sept. When hunter's stealing near some game, And drags his gun half-cocked Till tt goes off and bores his frame, Wc tumble that it’s Oct-9 . When loafers for the bar-room steer, To gather round the stove, And take hot rum Instead of beer. Why then we see it’s Nov. Whene'er for holiday pot-pies, Tho chickens, “turks" and geese Are raffled off by “throwing dies,” We’re certain it is Dec. —"Jtf. Joslyn,” in Judge.

[Copyright Secured. AU Kights licstrved.) Driven From Sea to Sea; Or, JUST A CAMPIN’. BY O. O. POST. Published by Permission or J. E. Doty net k Co., Publishers, Chicago.

CHAPTER XVII.—Continued. “The young folks had best git married, though, ef they're goin’ to; both of ’em. I’ve no fear fer Jennie an’ Ensign. They'll git on' all right, as far as they let folks git on that works for a livin’, and if Lucy loves Mr. Annelsey I s’pose that’s all right, too, and she had better write fer him to come and get her at once ef he don’t want her to get tanned up with Campin’ out in tho foot-hills.”. Mrs, Parsons thought the whole situation over and over, again and again. All night she lay awake thinking of their changed circumstances and of her husband’s words, and in the morning she did substantially what he had suggested—she wrote her daughters, telling them the ranch was Hooded and destroyed, that tho cottage itself would lie untenable before many, days, but forbidding them to return home until they heard further from their parents. “Your father and I do not yet know what we shall do,” she wrote. “There seems no place for us to go to. Some of the neighbors, whoso houses are on higher ground than ours, have offered to let us stay with them until we can find a plaee to rent, but we can not long be a tax on the hospitality of those wife have themselves lost everything except the shelter over their heads, and who must, like us, soon seek other homes. “We are talking of going down into the great valley and renting a place of some of the big landlords, but it is very hardjo think cf working all the rest of our Wes without hope of ever having a plaislw our own again, and if we can find a little place anywhere that is for sale, if it is only a few acres with nothing but a shanty on it, we had both rather buy it than to rent, oven if we go in debt for it; but we do not know of any such that is safe from the overflow of these terrible mines. “You must not worry about it too much, dears; and you must not come home until you hear from us again, which will not be long, for we must do something, and that quickly. “You could not help much if you were here until we know what we are - to do, and woukl probably be more expense here than there, and we will „ write you again just as soon as we determine where we shall go. ” Then she added, in a postscript: “Xou know how much your father and I love you and how anxious we are to have you always with us; but this we know can not be, and if the men whom you are to many urge you to a speedy union you have our consent, and it maybe best so.” This letter John Parsons mailed at Phippsburg, a little town on the river ten miles above the landing where they usually did their trading. When Johnny saw his father preparing to start he began to cry, piteously, *and begged him hot to leave them to be swallowed up by the terrible flood. The poor child was not only nervous, but actually frightened. He had sat propped up in his little wheeled cot at the low window and watched the slowly rising flood until it had grown to seem a thing of life, a frightful monster, such as he had read about in fairy stories, only a thousand times more horrible, ready to swallow them all alive; and his pale face grew paler still, and his eyes, large with suffering, grow larger yet with fear, and he would not. consent that either parent should remain long out of the room, and at ST night went to sleep holding’ to his father’s hand only to awaken when all was still with screams of fright at the things which he saw in his dreams. Then John Parsons would arise and sit by his side and talk to him, and tell him stories, and soothe him until his sobs ceased and gradually he dropped oft to sleep again, only to see once more the horrid shapes that peopled his sleeping fancy, ana awake in an agony of fear and trembling. And now he begged and cried until his parents feared he would go into convulsions at his father’s leaving, but there seemed no other way, for they knew that the neighbors were either busy trying to save something from the general wreck, or absent looking for some place to move to. People who are so fool'sh as to build their houses r where wealthy corporations may wish to empty the garbage from their back yards can not huraortMfanciesof their crippled children. -They are like the birds that build their nests upon the ground where the farmer desires to sow his grain—whose nests are turned under bv the plowshare with never a thought of the loss to the little bunch of brown feathers that Cries so piteously and flutters about the spot where its little ones lie buried beneath the sod. It , was early in the morning when John Parsons started with the letter. He knew that be would be forced to follow a somewhat devious route in order to avoid the overflowed district, but he was on horseback, and expected to make the canter of ten miles and back by noon at farthest, and so told his wife and Johnny. But noon came and no father. Then one o’clock, and still he had not come. Mrs. Parsons kept the dinner warm and waited. She had spent the morajgg ip packing, as best she could, their

household goods in shape for moving, at the same rime amusing Johnny with talks of the new place to which they would go. She aid not know where it would be, yet tried, for the lad’s sake, to picture it as pleasant as possible, and so half made herself believe that they might not fail in getting another home and being happy once more, and now while she waited she continued the preparations for moving; but as the hours passed and her husband was still absent, she became uneasy and fancied all kinds of evils that might have befallen him. Had he attempted to cross some place in the road that was covered by the overflow, and miring down been unable to extricate himself ? The thought was horrible, and her brain reeled beneath it Then she told herself that it could not be; that instead he had been forced to go further around than he had anticipated, and so more time was consumed. Then again, she feared that his horse had taken fright and thrown him, and' she pictured him lying by the roadside dead, or with broken limbs, calling in vain for help, or carried to a friendly shanty as he had carried Johnny when the accident which made him a cripple occurred. “They say it never rains but it pours,” she said to herself. “Can it; be possible that to all our other troubles is to be added an injury to John?” She could not bear to think of it, and put the thought from her, and tried to keep from dwelling on it by talking to. Johnny as ho lay in his cot watching her. pack the boxes and- trunks with clothing and the various knick-knacks about the house. Then a more hopeful thought came. “May be father had heard of a place that be can get and has gone to look at it,” she said to Johnny, and the thought gave her fre-h courage. But as the day passed and night settled down upon the scene and stall he did not come, hope turned to fear, and she grew sick at heart.

iurouuuu w me uuiruwi uuures when she saw it getting late; fed the pigs and the chiekens and milked the cows, and then went in the gathering darkness and noted the rise in the slow creeping flood, and estimated that in two days more it would enter the cottage. Then she returned to the house,lighted a lamp and sat down by the cot of her crippled child, too utterly exhausted and broken in spirit to talk'. The boy seemed to understand, for he said nothing; did not cry nor moan, but lay wjlh his large eyes fixed upon his mother s face with a look of wondering, helpless resignation, as if he saw the approach of the horrid monster of his dreams, but felt that now no cries for help could avail anything, until, unable longer to control herself, Martha Parsons sank upon her knees and buried her face in her handkerchief and sobbed aloud: g “My God, my God, why hast Thou forsaken me?”

CHAPTER XVIII. DRIVEN TO THE MOUNTAINS, For a half hour Martha Parsons remained kneeling by the side of her cripplea child. When she arose she was calm again, but neither the boy nor herself spoke, and finally sleep came and closed the lad’s eyelids, and he lay quietly resting while Sis mother sat by his side as silent -and motionless as he. Her thoughts had gone back to the days of her childhood, and one by one | she recalled all the incidents of her past I life. She remembered the old church where she had been christened and near where she was born. In imagination she sat again in the stra’ght-backed pew in company with the homely, oldfashioned congregation and listened to the preaching of the venerable, grayhaired minister whose words she had been taught were those of one commissioned to speak for God and Christ Again she heard the sermon in which all men were commanded to accept their let, whatever it might be, as from the hand of the Most High, who give to each of His creatures, as to im seemed best, of the goods of this world; heard,mingled with much of sympathy for the impoverished and the outcast and the sinful, the poor bidden to be content with the condition in life to which it had pleased God in His wisdom to call them; and was dumbly conscious of feeling surprised at herself, and, may be, a trifle frightened at daring to wonder for the hrst time in her life if God ever authorized anybody to say such things in His name; if, indeed, it was not blasphemy to tell the poor, who were made poor by being robbed, and the rich, who were made rich by the robbery, that such was God’s will, and bidding them to be content in the [ condition in which they were thus placed.f She recalled the talks which she and John had during the days of their courtship and after their marriage. What plans they had laid; how hopeful they had been of the future; how prosperous they had meant to be; and how much pleasure they had taken in thinking of the good they would do, and of the quiet old age they were to spend together after the hurry of life was over and their children settled comfortably near them, receiving and entitled to the respect and esteem of their neighbors. They had worked hard; they had been honest; they had reared their children to be worthy members of society; they had done all they knew how to do to make the world better for their having lived in it; and now, their home lost, their children scattered, she sat by the bedside of her crippled child at midnight, waiting for the return of her husband, with a great fear at her heart that he, too, had been swallowed up by the terrible flood. The moan which involuntarily escaped her lips as her mind returned to the present awoke Johnny; but seeing his mother sitting by his side he did not cry or speak, but lay quietly gazing into her face for a time and then his quick hearing caught a sound which had escaped the duller ear of his mother, and a look, half of inquiry, half of fear, passed over his face, but still he did not speak. Again the sound, and now his mother hears it, too—the neighing of a horse upon the winding bluffroad baok of the house; then an answering neigh from the hill pasture, and both know that the husband and father has returned. Hurrying to the door, Mrs. Parsons heard the pasture tars let down ; heard the short whinny of recognition and welcome which the horses exchanged as the home-comer entered the field, then heard the barn door open as the rider went to hang up his saddle; then the footsteps turntti towards the house, and a moment later John Parsons, weary and covered with mud, but sound of hmb, entered and bending down kissed wife and child. “I s’poso you an’ Johnny hev been worried most to death about me, Marty,” he said, "but I couldn't very well help it; leastwise I thought it best to do as I done.” “Yes, dear, we have been fearful that something had happened you. Did you meet with an accident, or what was the matter? I kno w you must be tired and hungry, whatever it was, and I’ll have a cup of tea foir you just as soon as the kettle boils again. It won’t take but a moment; it was boiling only a little bit ago.” “Wall, you see when I got to town I concluded to ask around an’ see if I could hear of a place for rent or to sell on’ time, an’ after inquirin’ a spell I heard of a claim, mostly wo’tbless, but with enough good land to make a livin' on, that was for sale or trade, fifteen

miles farther back in the mountains; an* as, ef I come home first I'd hev to go right back agin to-morrow, if I took a look at the place at all, I concluded to go right on an* see it, hopin’ to get home, though, afore it was so late. But when I got back to town it was almost dark already, an' neither me nor the horse had et a bite since mornin', an' 1 was jest obleeged to stop an’ let the animal rest a couple of hours. That gave me a dark ride home, an’ the roads is purty bad over the hills since the rains come. What time o’ night is it? Nigh on to midnight, I reckon.” “The clock struck twelve some timo since,” replied Mrs. Parsons. “But what about the place? Is there any house on it, or an orchard, or anything? And what does the man ask for it?” I “There’s a bit of shanty on it,” returned her husband, “an’’ a few scatterin’ grape vines, an’ a dozen or two peach and pear trees. The place is well up on the mountain an’ is oil' of the man road, an* sort o' lonesome like; leastwise. I’m afeared ’twould seem so to you an' the lad. But there’s a chance to make a livin’ there even if it ain’t a very good one, an’ I s'pect may be grapes Will do pretty well on part o’ the clam It’s mighty rough an’ broken, though, an’ won’t be so pleasant cultivatin’ as this place used to be. “There ain't no bottom land onto it, ner within ten miles of it fer that mat- | ter. An’ there ain’t many neighbors, an’ such as there is is poor folks, that oouldn’t git claims nowher’s else. I talked with one of ’em, an' he said he was satisfied they could raise as good fruit of most kinds as grew anywhere in the State; an’ anyway there ain’t ■ any danger of their floodin’ it from any mines; it’s too far up on the mountI ains fer ffiat, an’ may be the best thing j we kin do is to take it, ’specially as the | owner, who lives in town, is willin’ to , take a pair of horses an’ purty near : anything else we have to turn out to i him, I guess.” j. “Then we had better take it,” replied his wife. “I had rather luive a I place of our own, however poor, than to be dependent upon somebody | else and obliged to move every year i perhaps, and never feel that anything is our own, as we would do on a rented place. Biit are yon sure about the title, John? Don’t for pity’s sake let us. buy a ranch to which there is not a good title.” “That’s just what I told Mr. Blake, the man that owns it. I told him that if there was anything at all wrong with the title I wouldn’t touch it with a tenfoot pole, but ho says it’s all right, an’ he is t(f get an abstract of it from the recorders office. The place has never had but two or three owners, an’ it’s clear outside of the land grant, so if there’s no mortgages onto it I don’t see how there can be anv danger, an’ of course the abstract will show.” “I almost wish you had told him wo would take it I’m afraid somebody else will step in and get it first, there are so many looking for places now. When did you tell him you would give him an answer?” “He is to come over to-morrow and look at the things we have to trade. If we kin agree, then he is to get the abstract, an’if that is all right," it’s a trade. I wish you could see the place, mother, before wc decide about it, but I don’t see how you kin, unless we take Johnny over to Ritchie’s and leave him while you go an’ take a look at it. “What do you say, Johnny? Will you stay at Mr. Ritchie’s while mother goes with me to see the new place?” “Won’t the water and mud rise clear over us and bury us?” asked the boy, in his weak little vo:ce. “Oh, no,” replied his father, “Mr. Ritchie’s house is higher up than ours, you know. There is not a bit of danger.” “Then I’ll stay.” But Mrs. Parsons did not wish to go to see the place. “It would be a hard day’s ride,” sho said, “fifty miles there and back, and wo would have to go on horseback, I suppose, for it must be awful slow getting along with a wagon, now; and besides it would make no difference any way. If you think we can make "a living on it we had best take it, for we can’t stay here many days longer. Wo have no other place to go to, and it will not be easy to find places that we can trade for. ” - And so they talked on while the tea was made and drank. Then they lay down, but it was almost day before sleep Came to either of them. About noon the next day Mr. Blake came as he had promised. He was a man of medium size and pretty well built He had a red face and a large mouth, and appeared about fifty years of age. Certainly not a handsome man, he was yet not noticeably homely, in fact, there was nothing* especially noticeable abont him in any way. To all appearances he was apt ordinary kind of man, who had doubtless mined some; been a farmer back in the States, perhaps, and at some period in his life had probably kept a hotel in a country town, or engaged in some other occupation which nad given him a little more the air of a map of business, and a little less that of a day laborer. At dinner, of which he was invited to partake, he asked a blessing. As they ate he commended tlie cooking; spoke of the great loss which his host had sustained from the destruction of his ranch by the overflow, and condemned in strong terms the outrage upon the rights of so good citizens as those at whose table he sat. Then he passed on to a description of his own ranch, which he wished to sell. It was well np in the hills, he said, but it was a fine place for fruit, and was out of danger from the overflow, and all it needed to make it a valuable property was the cultivation and care which Mr. Parsons knew so well how ! to give it. I He offered it for sale cheap because he was going back East, and wanted to ! clear everything up before he went, and get what he had together. He would prefer to sell for cash, but If they could not do that, he would take a pair of horses and arjy other stock they might have to turn out. And if he could not dispose ot them readily in the neighborhood, would drive them to Sacramento, on his way to New j York, and sell them there. After dinner he went out, in company with Mr. Parsons, and looked at the different animals and the things wliich [ the now nearly impoverished family had to offer. He readily agreed to take one ; pair of horses and a wagon and the top i carriage, also three cows. But this still left a, difference which he proposed should be made up 4>y a note to be j signed by Mr. Parsons and a couple of his neighbors.' To this Mr. Parsons would not consent. He doubted if any one would sign a note with him now, and he could not bear to think of asking and being refused, and preferred giving a mortgage on the place which he was to get of Mr. Blake. Finally it was agreed to pay him the fifty dollars in bank, and ' in addition to the other articles named, to turn him out the six head of fat hogs ini the pen and certain articles of household furniture, the most valuable in their possession, but for which there would not be room in the shanty to which they were going, and so the bargain was made. The Parsons were to retain possession of all the property until they had moved on to the new place; then* to put tho rls and animals at the disposal ol Blake and receive the deed. 1 [TO BE CONTXSUED.J

PRETTY, BUT DEAD. A Highly Moral Lecture on the Foollahnesa of the Sterner Sex. The Phenomenal Silliness of Mankind in General and tine Stupidity of Dyeing Their Hair In Particular— Aboriginal Experiences. 1 notice with sincere regret that another Hew York gentleman has lost his life as a result of over-indulgence in the hair-dye habit This habit is now sapping the life blood of many and sowing the seeds of death throughout our entire land. The hair itself is not improved by dyeing as an Indian is. The Indian, prior to dying, is disagreeable and annoying, but afterward he at once becomes docile and harmless. The hair when dyed becomes rough, and if colored a dead black is the gloomiest

L 31111 sight I know of. . Ton take a heavy moustache, and after coloring it a crushed tomcat black, hang it over a new set of white commercial teetli that were made for another party and you have a picture which will make a horse leave his stall with pleasure.. Hair in its natural state, when growing on the head of the original owner, is a good thing, but when used for Its third or fourth time it becomes distasteful. Then if we try to color the hair and make it look pretty Instead of combing it and allowing it to remain the sauie shade as nature designed it to be, we fool ourselves more than we do other people. Nothing looks more beautiful than beautiful hair growing where it was planted by an All Wise Hand; but nothing can be; more pitiful than the picture of an old widower rising up out of his grave on the morning of resurrection day with a lot of London dyed second-hand hair and a set of dollar-store teeth in his hand. I have made some experiments in the hair line, and I find that I can let my grocery account run just as long without hair as I could with hair. So that, for the purposes of trade, hair is not essential. Let us go still farther aud see how it Is about matrimonial matters. It is claimed by gray-haired widowers especially, and bachelors who were bom a long t jme ago, that gray hair or seldom hair is injurious to matrimonial opportunities. This depends, of course, upon who the victim is to be. If shejbe a young and skittish thing from the kindergarten, who regards hair as a mark of success in life, perhaps you are right in trying to improve on nature; but if she be the kind to stand up and fight for you instead of with you, a large assortment of damaged hair will not catch her. I know that a man with five cents’ worth of hair may marry far above his station in life, for 1 have tried it myself. So the dangerous aud foolish habit of wearing the hair that has been rifled from a foreign morgue is not excusable on the ground that we can not be properly loved if we are bald. This ought to be equally true of the hair that is gray. People who have nice gray hair should remember those who part their hair with a Turkish towel. If I had gray hair instead of a site for it, as I now have, 1 would spend my time largely combing it instead of blacking it Those who black their hair as a rule do not comb it as much as they should for fear of wearing off the blacking. Is it not singular that a man should prefer paralysis and black hair to health and handsome white hair? Isn’t It odd that a man who is old enough to kqow better should choose to be a premature angel with dead black hair and a dab of hair dye on his nose when he really don’t have to? The other day I saw an old party who had two long brindle trifles of hair pulled in front of his ears and colored. On top he bad no hair and behind he had neglected to color it. so that when he looked in the mirror and had his hat on he could fool himself. He certainly did not fool anybody else. I could not help thinking how he would look when Gabriel sounds his horn and the old gentleman begins to scrabble around for his hair dye and his hat so that he will look pretty before the judgment-bar. We should so live that 5,000 years from now future generations will not stop to ask: “Don’t he wear his own hair or that of a total stranger?” We should lead such lives that people will be sorry when we are gone and regret it for two or'three days at least. It is better to die bald-headed and beloved than to live forever wearing coal black hair and surrounded by millions of people who assure us that we need not postpone our death on their acount. Still there are men who do not care for all this. Neither do they care for health. They would rather die a pretty paralytic than to live white-haired and on the square. We talk much of the folly and vanity of woman, but, when a man really becomes ambitious to be a star fool, he shames all the female fools of his time into an early grave.—Bill A'ue, in Traveler*’ Magazine. SELF-PRESERVATION,

Said this duffer: “My dear, let us see What that curious ball there can be; Why, it’s hornets, I swear.

Of yourself, love, take care, This umbrella will answer for me." The Family Represented. Jones (at the circus)—Hello, Smith, yon here? Smith —Yes, 1 bad to come to take care of my little boy. Jones—Where’s the boy? Smith—He was taken sick at the last moment and couldn’t come.—N. Y. Tribune. A Fit oir Abstraction. A dry-goods clerk took his girl out for some Ice-cream the other night, and in a moment of absentmindedness, thinking that he was waiting upon a customer, said oordlally: “Anything else?” She took lemonade and cake. A Fashionub e Boarding-rime, “What class of hoarders have you?” he asked of the landlady while looking at the fourth floor back, “fashionable people?” “Yes, indeed,” she ftplied. “Some of the biggest bogs In town board with me.”— Detroit Free Preta, y ■-J - ■

RELIGIOUS AND EDUCATIONAL.' —It is said that “out of every 109 female school teachers seven marry every1 year.”— Chicago Herald. —The Trinity College librarian reported an increase in the library for the past year of 2,087 volumes.—A. Y. Tribane. —On the diffusion of education among the people rests the preservation ana perpetuation of our free institutions.— Daniel Webster. ' —General G. W. P. Curtis Lee has resigned the Presidency of Washington and Lee University on account of ill health. —No fewer than 157 professors at German Universities are between the ages of seventy and ninety, of whom the greater part still lecture. Banke, at ninety, is the oldest. —It is said that a recent prizeman in t» Yale Law School paid his way through college by buying old clocks and other bric-a-brac in back country towns and selling them at fancy prices to New York and New Haven collectors.—A Y. Post. —Some years ago a venerable clergyman was asked to make the prayer at the commencement celebration at Cambridge. In the course of his prayer he besought the SupremeBeingto “shower his blessings on Harvard College, Andover Institution, State Prison, and all other seminaries of public institution.” —Every Other Saturday. —President McCosh, of the Princeton College, has been making a statistical study of the relations of foot ball and base ball to scholarship. He finds that of the twenty-seven men who are prominent members of teams and nines, not one stands first in the six academic grades, only two in the second, and that twenty-two fall in the lower half of their classes. —Hartford Pott. —We are gratified to note the fact that the public schools of Alabama are mixing some industry with science and literature, some physical training with intellectual culture. In female colleges young ladies receive valuable instruction in the art and handiwork of housewifery; and in the school-rooms young men are taught that labor, whether of head or of hand, of brain or muscle, is always dignified, manly and honorable. It will be a proud day of promise for Alabama when every public school within her boundaries shall establish an industrial department.—Selma (Ala.) Timet.

WIT AND WISDOM. —The skeleton man in a museum is always paid his salary before any other freaks. The manager recognizes him as the first lean on the premises.—Nor ri»town\Htrald. _ —Deceit is a byway leading to Qconfusion and disgrace, a falsehood arrayed in truth’s robe, and a cloak, the longer worn the more difficult to leave off!—N. Y. Tribune. —It is stated in a Southern exchange tjiat one of the best sugar plantations in Louisiana is run by a dentist. There is a finess in a dentist devoting himself to sorghums.—Oil City Derrick. —Mistress (to amiable servant maidj —“I am sroinff to the opera this evening, so 1 shall probably be home late. Amiable maid—‘‘O, you needn’t apologize to me for that Tim will be here.” —Buffalo Courier. —The biggest jump. You may talk of Sam Patch, And Bob Odium to match. Who jumped to their deaths for renown: But the biggest jump yet Was a fellow in debt, Who successfully “jumped the town.” —A fashionable young lady was seen blacking her brother’s boots the other morning:, and the next day she helped to do the family washing. It is thought she is fitting herself to become the wife of an Italian count.—Puck. —“How is Jim Bullard getting on?” asked a stranger at the railroad station of a Dakota town. ‘‘Jim kermitted suicide ’bout er month ago,” replied a native. “Committed suicide? How did he commit suicide?” He called me a liar, stranger.” N. Y. Sun. —“Why don’t you come in?” asked a lady of little Rob Ragamuffin, who stood shyly outside the yard. “You’re not afraid of the dog, are you?” “No, ma’am,” was Rob's reply, “I not afraid of the dog, but I’m kind o’—kind o’ bashful when there’s dogs about.”— Golden Days. —A New York doctor says people might as welleat sawdust as oatmeal for breakfast. If that doctor only knew how many agile paragraphers will vouchsafe the remark that he probably bases his declaration on the fact that sawdust is very fine board, he would have restrained himself from philanthropic motives.—Boston Post. —A piece of laundry work: “Now, then,” said the Captain of Police to the janitor of the station-house, “give the prisoner a bath, and when that is done let him be handcuffed and sent off to jail.” “In other words,” remarked the janitor, “you want the prisoner washed and ironed and sent off." “Precisely.” And it was done.—Boston Courier. A Chapter of Contradictions. It is singular how the virtues are dis-. tributed. An elephant weighing 95,000 pounds, when he is right mad, can elevate his proboscis, inflate his lungs and, by straining every nerve to a point of rupture make a trumpet-like noise that can be heard half wav down street, if the wind is right. Whereas, a canary bird, no bigger than a spool, thirty-four years old, bund as a bat and bald as an egg, can split his face clear back to his shoulders and shriek for three hours without taking breath in tones that make an ordinary fife sing bass. Verily, man is fearfully'and wonderfully Maid of Athens and his clothes are not paid for. When he is a baby he cries because he can’t walk and when be can walk he won’t, and waits for hours for a street car or the elevator. If he is a little boy his mother dresses him exactly like a little girl and if he was a little girl he would wear a boy’s hat and a sailor’s suit When he has good health he ruins it, and when it is ruined he takes good care of it and declares it “never was better.” He goes to sleep ip church and goes to bed to lie awake and worry about things that may never happen on a morrow that may never dawn. What has all this to do with the elephant and the canary bird? Everything, mv son, everything. It’s about man, and man has something to do with everything he can catch and sell. Yes, I have even known a Christian judge to cell his fellow man— B. J. Burdette in Brooklyn Eagle. Oil-Pipe Scrapers. The pipes by which petroleum is transported from the oil regions to the seaboard are cleaned by means of a stem two and a half feet long, having at its front end a diaphragm made of wings, which can fold on each other and thus enable it to pass an obstruction it cannot remove. This machine carries a set of steel scrapers, somewhat like those used- in cleaning boilers. It is put into the pipes and propelled by the pressure transmitted from the pumps from one station to another. ^Relays of men follow the scraper by the noise it makes in its progress, one party taking up the pursuit as the other is exhausted. They must not let it get out of their hearing, for if it stops unnoticed its location can only be established by cutting the pipe.

USEFUL AND SUCGESTIVE. —The number of swine in this country increase about seventy-five per cent, in ten years.—N. E. Farmer. —Lovers of brown bread should have a tin made on purpose for it, round and tall, with a closely-fitting cover, in this genuine brown bread should be baked slowly for four hours.—Bural Niv Yorker. —Ginger Crisps.—Two cups of molasses, one cup of lard, one tablespoon of ginger, one desertspoonful of soda dissolved in a very little hot water and enough flour to make a smooth dough. Boll thin.—The Household. —Fruit stains upon cloth or upon the hands may be removed by rubbing with the juice of ripe tomatoes. If applied immediately, powdered starch will also take fruit stains out of table linen. Left on the spot for a few hours, it absorbs etery trace of the stain.—Boston Olobe. —Therertire now ten agricultural experiment stations in the United States, one each in Maine, Massachusetts, Connecticut, New Jersey, Ohio, North Carolina, Alabama and Wisconsin, and two in New York,- one at Geneva and one at Houghton Farm. The last named is sustained by private contribution.— Prairie Farmer. —Save all pieces of boards and bits of tough timber, and put them away in the' barn or woodshed. How many times in a year docsa farmer want astrip of board, a handle for a maul, or a stick for a pin, and if not at hand a whole board or fence rail must be cut, or perhaps half a day lost going to a wagon Slop.—Exchange.

—(JhiCKen rntters. —Cut into neat {lieces some tender cold chicken, and et them stand awhile in a mixture of lemon juice, salt and pepper. Make a’ batter of milk, flour and salt; stir the chicken into it and fry in hot butter, a bit of chicken in each spoonful of butter. Serve very hot, first draining off all the fat. Garnish with parsley.— The Caterer. —Have music in the Qfamily circle. You will not find the husband, father or brother seeking amusement abroad on winter evenings, when his home is blessed with vocal and instrumental music. Music fills the soul with that purfe, holy feeling which will fertilize the soul of friendship, and home, above all other places, should be attractive and happy.—Tribune and Farmer. —For dogwood or ivy poisoning the following is ^nid to be an infallible remedy: Boil wood ashes enough to make a strong lye; wash the poisoned parts in this; let it remain a few minutes, and wash off in soft, lukewarm water; when dry anoint with grease. Repeat this process as the poison develops itself, and one or two applications will cure the most obstinate case. It acts like magic.—Boeton Budget. —There are several effectual methods of removing grease from cloth. First, wet with a linen cloth dipped in chloroform. Second, mix four tablespoonfuls of alcohol with one tablespoonful of salt; shake together until the salt is dissolved, then apply with a sponge. Third, wet with weak ammonia water, then lay thin white blotting or tissue paper over it, and iron lightly with an iron not too hot. Fourth, apply a mixture of equal parts of alcohol, gin and aqua ammonia.—N. Y. Sun.

COOLING THE CELLARS. A Common Mistake in Ventilating: Cellar and Milk Houses. A great mistake is sometimes made in ventilating cellars and milk houses. The object of ventilation is to keep the cellars cool and dry, but this object often fails of being accomplished by a common mistake, and instead, the cellar is made both warm and damp. A cool place should never be ventilated, unless the air admitted is cooler than the air within, or is at least as cool as that, or a very little warmer. The warmer the air, the more moisture it holds in suspension. Necessarily, the cooler the air, the more this moisture is condensed and precipitated. When a cool cellar is aired on a warm day, the entering air being in motion appears cool; but as it fills the cellar, the cooler air with which it becomes mixed chills it, the moisture is condensed, and dew is deposited on the cold walls, and may often be seen running down them in streams. Then the cellar te damp, and soon becomes moldy. To avoid this, the windows should only be opened at night, and late —the last thing before retiring. There is no need to fear that the night air is unhealthful—it is as pure as the air of midday, and is really drier. The cool air enters the apartment during' the night, and circulates through it. The windows should be closed before sunrise in tbe morning, and kept closed and shaded through the day. If the air of a cellar is damp, it may be thoroughly dried by placing-' in it a peck of fresh lime in an open box. A peck of lime will absorb about Seven pounds, or more than three quarts of water, and in this way a cellar or milk-room may soon be dried, even in the hottest weather. A bushel of lime absorbs twenty-seven pounds of water, and still appears as a dry powder. In this condition it will be very useful to spread over the garden or lawn, or around fruit trees, or it may be used for white-wash. This precaution is often necessary in the dairy, because of the prevalence, where air is damp, of mildews, and the various forms of mold. The orange and red kinds of mold especially, which sometimes form !■ upon the butter.—American Agriculturist. SORREL. , How This Troublesome Weed May Be Eradicated. Many farmers are troubled by the growth of sorrel In their fields, which, when allowed to spread without check, becomes very difficult, if not impossible, to eradicate. The growth of this weed is a sure sign of poor or worn-out soil. It is a common error that the presence of oxalic acid in sorrel is due to the “sourness” of the soil. A little thought will show that this idea is fallacious. The same soil that grows strawberries will produce rhubarb; an own cousin to sorrel, in profusion; the same tree will bear a sweet apple and a sour one, and so on with all farm products. The chemical constituents of the acid of the sorrel are in the soil, but are not combined in the acid shape. The same elements which make one plant or fruit sweet will make the sorrel sour. One of the common remedies recommended for use in eradicating sorrel is lime, the idea being to neutralize the acid supposed to exist in the soil by the application of alkali. To be sure, the lime may be qf use in decomposing the vegetable matter in the soil, and so encourage the growth of other plants which will tend to choke out the undesirable weed, but not in the way supposed. Sorrel spreads, like some other plants, chiefly by underground stems with joints, each one of which will form a plant. The only practical way to rid a field of this weed is by thorough cultivation and frequent plowing, together with the growth of hoed crops for a season or two. Heavy applications of barnyard manure should be made, and it should be well worked in. An abundance of food for the support of other plants is thus furnished, and when they are grown, in conjunction with careful cultivation, the sorrel will soon disappear.—Chicago Time*. —Nature sometimes makes the man, and then man sometimes makes a donkey of himself. It is pretty hard for a man to improve on nature

A Campaign Scent Ginn Away, In the campaign of 1684 the two candl* Antes for Governor in a “pivotal” West* era State arranged for a series of joint discussions. Bow men were popular, both of fine appearance and were so well matched In mental force and as orators that the contest between them promised to be a magnificent one. For several weeks the scales balanced evenly. But one day the brilliant Republican candidate came up ailing. He seemed overcome and spoke iaboredly. The next day he was even less effective. Later he was compelled to ask his opponent for a postponement of certain appointments, which was granted. Before the campaign ended he had abandoned the field altogether. Meantime the Democratic candidate continued his canvass, seeming to grow stronger, cheerier and more effective with each succeeding week. He was elected. One evening in December while entertaining several gentlemen he said “X will tell you a campaign secret— which gave me the election. With the opening of my campaign I began caring for my liver. 1 knew that a disordered or torpid liver meant dullness and possible sickness. I took something every day. When my opponent began failing I knew his trouble to be his liver and felt like prescribing for him, bat feared if I did so he might heat me! I grow stronger as the campaign progressed, often making two speeches a day. Even my voice, to my surprise, did not fail me once. All because Warner’s safe cure kept me in A 1 trim.” Ex-Governor Jacob, of Kentucky, also made a campaign tour under precisely similar circumstances and says he kept np nnder the exhausting strain by use of the same means.—ltochesler Union. Eccentricity in a rich man is lunacy in a poor one. False alarm—One that does not go off at the proper hour.—Boston Posts

Especially to Women* '* Sweet is revenge especially to women,” said the gifted, but haughty. Lord Byron. Surely he was in bad humor when ho wrote such words. But there are complaints that only women suffer, that are carrying numbers of them down to early graves. There is hope for those who suffer, no matter how sorely, or severely, in Dr. R. V. Pierce’s “Favorite Prescription.” Safe in its action it is a blessing, especially to women and to men, too, for when women suffer, the household is askew. Why did the porcupine? How much did the armadillo? What was it the rabbit? Why did the aut eater?—Philadelphia Call. Toons; Hen. Bead This. The Voltaic Belt Co., of Marshall, Mich., offer to send their celebrated Electro-Vol-Taic Belt and'other Electric Appliances on trial for 30 days, to men (young or old) afflicted with nervous debility, loss of vitality and all kindred troubles. Also for rheumatism,neuralgia,paralysis,and many other diseases. Complete restoration to health, vigor,and manhood guaranteed. Ho risk incurred, as 30 days’ trial is allowed. Write thematoncefor illustrated pamphlet, free. We suppose they call it “the silver moon” because there are four quarters in it.—Boston Bulletin. An Offensive Breath (s most distressing, not only to the person afflicted if he have any pride, but to those with whom he comes in contact. It is a delicate matter to speak of, but it has parted not only friends but lovers. Bad breath and catarrh are inseparable. Dr.. Sage’s Catarrh Remedy cures the worst cases as thousands can testify. The reason a woman is continually looking in the glass is because she wants to see herself as others see her. * • * * Organic weakness or loss of power in either sex, however induced, speedily and permanently cured. Enclose three letter stamps for book of particulars. World’s Dispensary Medical Association, Buffalo, S. Y.

although we aou't see Judge Lynch he must be hanging round somewhere.—Boston Transcript. The Frazer Axle Grease Is the best in the world. Sold everywhere. Use it. Some Eastern poetess asks the conundrum: “Oh, where does beauty linger?” Our office hours are eight to six.— Peck’s Bun. —- Pike'sToothachk Drops cureinlmlnute,25c. Glenn’s Sulphur Soap heals and beautifies. 85c. German Corn Remover kills Corns & Bunions. A Derby race—Chasing one’s stiff hat, blown off on a windy day.—Judge. Ir afflicted with Sore Eyes, use Dr. Isaac Thompson’s Eye Water. Druggists sell it. 25o. —The exact size of Noah’s ark has n6t been determined definitely, but, according to S^r Isaac Newton’s calculations, based on his- est mate of the length of a cubit in feet and inches, the historical barge must have been 515.62 feet long, 85.94 wide, and 51.56 deep. The measured tonnage of the ark was 18,132. The Great Eastern was 680 feet long, 83 feet wide and 53 feet deep, and she measured 28-.093 tons. Although the Great Eastern was not so well proportioned as the ark, she probably had double the carrying capacity if her coal and machinery were left out of her, because she was made of iron and the ark was a wooden ship.—Chicago Be raid. , —The Physicians' Investigator has watched for a number of years the effect of oatmeal on children, and thinks it makes them weak, mentally and phys caily. As an exolusve d et it impoverishes the blooci. The Scotch, though strong, are a dyspeptic race. " and. at all events, what may be good for them is not necessarily so for us m this cl mate. —As to which is the pleasantest place,, the seaside or the mountams. the opinion depends mainly on the individual judgment, and individual judgment depends entirely upon wh ch of the two places the individual has engaged board at.—Baltimore American. THE MARKETS. New York, August 17,1*55. CATTLE—Native Steers......{ 4 35 ® B 00 COTTON—Middling. ® 10>i FLOUR—Good taChoioe...;.. 4 75: © 5 25 WHEAT—So. 2 Red. .... ® 98* CORN—No. 2.i. 5SX® 54 OATS—No. 2....1... 32 © 35 PORK—New Mess.. .... a tl 00 Sl\ LOUIS.- . COTTON—Middling.. .... © TO BEEVES—Good to Heavy.... 5 25 ffi 5 70 Fair to Medium.... 5 00 ® 5 25 HOGS-^ommou to Select.... 3 40 a 4 75 SHEEP—Fair to Choice. 2 75 ® 3 60 FLOUR—XXX to Choice. 3 00 ffl’ 3 85 WHEAT—No. : Red Winter... 15 « 05X No. 3... 87)4® S3 CORN—No. 8 Mixed... 42 >4® 4334 OATS—No. 2,. 21)4® 26' RYK—No. t......... 55K® 56)4 TOBACCO—Lugs.. 3 (10 ® 8 50 Leaf, Medium.... 6 25 © S00 HAY—Choice Timothy. 13 50 ® 14 50 BUTTER—Choice Dairy...... 17 ® 18 EGGS—Fresh... 9 ® 9J4 PORK—New Bless.. 9 87K® 10 00*' BACON—Clear Rib. BE,’® 6X LARD—Prime Steam.. 6 a 6X CHICAGO. CATTLE—Exports.... 4 40 ® 5 95 HOGS—Good to Choice.. 4 2) a 4 80 SHEEP—Good to Choice. 2 00 a 3 50 FLOUR—Winter... 3 50 a 5 00 Patents.. 4 75 ® 6 50 WHEAT—No. 2 Spring.... 85 ® S5 V No. 2 Red. 91 ® 91X CORN—No. 2....... 45*» 46* OATS—No. 2.... 8ftx® 2534 PORK—New Mess.:. 9 15 ® 9 20 KANSAS CITY. CATTLE—Native Steers. 4 20 ® 5 40 HOGS—saies at.. 4 00 ® 4 45 WHEAT—No. 2... ® 78 CORN—No. 2. 35 ® 35)4 OATS—NO. 2. 21X® 22 NEW ORLEANS. I FLOUR—High Grades......... 4 25 « 550 CORN—White....... .... ® 56 OATS—Choice Western. " 34 ® 35 HAY—Choice..... 18 00 ® 19 00 PORK—Mess:_ .... ® 10 25 BACON—Clear Kil>. ® 6X COY TON—Middling. 9*4® 9* LOUISVILLE. WHEAT—No. 2 Red ...... ® 95 CORN—No. 2 Mixed. ® 48)4 OATS—No. 2 Mixed.. .... ® 27 PORK—Mess.................... .... a ll 00 BACON—Clear Rib. 8)4® 6S4 COTTON—Middling. a 1034 EDUCATIONAL. _ Fall address X COLLEGE OF LAW, Chicago, in. The 11 term will begin Septejnlter 23. For circular, 11. BOOTH, Chicago. 11U BRYANT & STRATTQB'S -- — ' ---- - Shorthand School Bt. Louis, Mo »tndents yearly. TounfMn^Maught Bookkeep uijr. Shoit-hanU. penmanship, and assisted to positions. gT. JAMES MILITARY ACAD ° 7AMILY BOARDING SCU0 FA____ Dlaelpllne Sawrior. Tenaa Mwlerater CARlnit PERSOMAL WPEKVISION Send for Catalogue. Hit. Ethxlbxbt Talbot, Rector! ! UICEB Treated end cured wlthoat the knife. ob treatment tent free. Addreae “iVTlM.D„Ap#eB, KaoeCoUU.

/ / TO*’ Man and Beast. ' v - Mustang Liniment is older than most men, and used more and more every year. % *

DR. JOHN BULL’S „ Smitli’sToMcSynip . FOR THE CURE OF FEVER and AGUE Or CHILLS and FEVER, AND ALL MALARIAL DISEASES. The proprietor of tbit celebrated medicine ustly claims for it a superiority over all remsdies ever offered to the public for the SAFE, CERTAIN. SPEEDY and PERMANENT cure >f Ague and Fever,or Chilli and Fever,whether of short or long standing. He refers to the 5ntire Western and Southern country to bear liim testimony to the truth of the assertion that in no oase whatever will it fail to cure if thedirectionsarestrictlyfollowedandcarried out. In a great many cases a single dose has been sufficient for a cure, and whole families have been cured by a single bottle, with a perfect restoration of the general health. It is, however, prudent, and in every case more certain to cure, if its use is continued in smaller doses for a week or two after the disease has been checked, more especially in difficult and long-standing cases. Usually this medicine will not require any aid to keep the bowels in good order. Should the patient, however, require a oathartio medicine, after having taken three or four doses of the Tonio, a single dose of KENT S VEGETABLE FAMILY FILLS will be sufficient. Use no other. DR. JOHN BULL'S SMITH’S TONIC SYRUP, BULL’S SARSAPARILLA, BULL’S WORM DESTROYER, The Popular Remedies of the Day. Principal Office. S31 Main St., LOUISVILLE,KY. APPLTAT OXCr. FOK AXAGEXCT FOK LIFE OF By Ben: rerleyPoore, Official Biographer U. 8. Congee <s, anti Rev. O. II. Tiffany, I). D. Get the only off%vittl and richly illustrate*work. Complete from the cradle to the grave. Several years in preparation. 1> n'l be de- cired byjmitn'iona. Demand is enormous. A8»ntv Wanted. Outfits iSc. Nonefree. Address promptly if at airni'BRAKD BftOTUEKS, PubVs, 61 W. Fourth St, Cincinnati, Uhl*. GEN. GRANT Secure, HoaltH. Kent’s Fills cure SICK HEADACHE, HEARTBURN, DYSPEPSIA, CONSTIPATION, INDIGESTION, BILIOUSNESS, Stomach Troubles, Liver Difficulties, Aud ALL Disorder* or the STOMACH and BOWLES. They should he kepr oa hand la every house. For Sule by all 1'iu^vists. Price tw. a Box. R. B. KENT. Jr.. Manufacturer. Louisville Kj. 6—S250 A MONTH* Agents Wanted. M best se. ling-articles in the world. 1 sample FREE. Address JAY BRONSON, Dkthoit, Micb. Palmer’s Piano Primer, w,S°^uLSs.Iw. 1. Sherwood, A. R. Parsons. Carlyle Petersllea, etc. .nvaliiable to teachers and Indispensable to ail learn:rs, saving time aud labor of teacher worth many lines Its cost. Price, In boards. 76 cents, post-paid. \ddresa H. R. Palmer, Mus. Doc., New York City. R«r U. AWARE THAT Lorillard’s Climax Flog bearing a red tin tag; that LorUlanPi Rose Lenf fine ent; that Lorillard’i Navy Clippings, and that Lorillard’s Stuffs, ar* the best ana cheapest, quality considered ? LADY AGENTS pc^ntn! employment-and good salary selling Queen City Skirt and StocktitgSupporterm.SamplQ outfit fVee. Address Cincinnati Suspender Co.. Cincinnati, O. A MONTH AND BOARD TO q>QvP AGENTS for a NEW and complete life of GRANT rhe World's greatest soldier, and the Nation’s nost honored citizen. Low price. Rapid Sales* P. W. ZillGLER A CO., Chicago, Illinois* Established PAY’S IBM* MANILLA ROOFING! Resembles fine lea then for ROOFS, OUTSIDE WAIaL.8, and INSIDE In place ofPlas ter/Very strong and durable. CARPETS and RUGS of same material. Catalogue with testimonials and lamplss. Free. W. H. FAY A CO., Camden, NJ.

^LYON & HEALY State St Monroe Sts., Chirac

S1000 REWARD J&. THE VICTOR F*r an/ machine hulling ana cleaning fit for market a* ~ Clover Seed i»OMS u the | VICTOR I DOUBLE HUILER. Illustrated circa-1 lar mailed free. NEWARK _ _ _ MACHINE CO., CelumbM,O. Sa. Br. Home, M HfLHOFT’S FEVER AND AGUE TONIC A warranted cure for all diseases caused by malarial poisoning of the blood, such as Chills and Fever, Fever and Ague, Sun Pains, Dumb Chills, Intermittent, Remittent, Bilious and all other Fevers caused by malaria. It is also the safest and best cure for enlarged Spleen (Fever Cake). General Debility tad Periodic Neuralgia. CFTor Sale by all Druggist*. CHAS. F. KEENER, Prop., Chicago, III. rheRed School House Shoe. IP you wish to purchase a shoe foryour Boy or Girl thrft will stand the wear and tear of every-day usage, that is made of honest 1 e at h e r throughout, and on common sense ideas^ask ^’our dealer dOOL shok!*" known everywhere by the Trade Mark of the Little Red School House found- on the bottom of each pair. (None genuine without It.) Ask also for the HENDERSON $2.50 WOMAN'S GOAT BUTTON, Hitched with Silk and every way «olid. Made only by L M. HFNnFRSflH t ffl the Celebrated Manufacturers * of Boots and Shoes, Chicago. Write/or a Setfafifkr Fancy School Cards. CANCER ofje TONGUE.' \ Case Resembling That of General Grant. Some ten years ago I had a scrofulous sbre on my •lght hand, and with the old-time treatment It healed ip. In Mqrch, 18S2.lt broke but In my throat, and •oncentrated In cancer, eating through my cheek, to * he top of my left cheek bone and up to tbe left eye. ' subsisted on liquids, and iny tongue was so Tar [one 1 could not talk. On October first, 1884,1 comnenced taking Swift’s Specific. In a month the eatng places stopped and healing commenced, and thei earful aperture In my cheek has been closed and Irmly knitted together. A new under lip is projresstng, and it seems that nature is supplying a new onguc. I can talk so that my friends can readily unlerstand me, and can also eat solid food again. I vonld refer to Hon. John H. Traylor, State" Senator, yf this district, and to Dr. T. S. Bradfield, of LtGranga ia. MRS. MAliY L. COMKifi LaGrnnge, Gs.. May 14, 1885. Treatise on Blood and Skin Diseases mailed free. Thk Swift Specific Co., Drawer 3, Atlanta, Qa Y., 157 W. 23d SU A. N. £., B. 1044 WHEN WRITING TO ADVERTISERS please say you mw the advertisement til this paper. Advertisers like to know when and where their advertisements are paying best, ---f—-v*r HAGAN'S Magnolia Balm is a secret aid to beauty. Many a lady owes her freshness to it, who would rather not tell, and you can't tell