Orland Zenith, Volume 2, Number 26, Orland, Steuben County, 2 August 1901 — Page 2

THE VOICE IN THE CHOIR.

“Why, Jak,”. said- the smiling Miss Helen, “yo'’re really amusing. You’ve never takei anything seriously in your life, and sc you mustn’t expect me. to listen to yea. The idea of a reckless

Up in the music loft I heard A voice of wondrous tone, Jake warbling of a happy bird That joyed o’er winter flown.

I AN OLD APOTHECARY SHOP. [ Mo Cnstomero Ktitcr, but the Doors Are Kver Open. Cincinnati can rightfully boast of the oldest drug store in the land, the oldest practicing druggist, and the oldest stock of medicines.

Aw singer I was never plann’d; So I could not aspire To rise to such a height as stand Beside her in the choir.

boy like yon, who’s just been expelled from college, talking about getting married is aksn-d. Besides, 1 don’t Ion e you. Now, back to the lionise.” For the next bonth “Jack” repeated his proposal on-.m average of once a

They are located together in a thoroughfare traversed every day by thousands, who seem to pass on in blissful ignorance of their presence. The store has no customers, though business is conducted with a punctuality that would savor o# reward, and hundrels of dollars’ worth of drugs stand waiting a buyer. The trouble Is the druggist has been forgotten |nd his wares are dead secrets to the profession upon which he depends for support. Way back in the days when the change's of the moon played an important part in the treatment of disease, and such remedies as prepared human skulls, powdered crabs' eyes, and liquefied pearls were still remembered for their curative properties, Jacob Stuebert was conducting a drug store at what is now No. 2305 Vine street. His store was built of logs and his stock of goods was plucked from the hills surrounding him, for that section of the country was then but little better than a howling wilderness.

I loved her, and I thank my wits Another plan 1 knew; I tried it, and —well, now she sits Beside me in the pew.

week. Each time he got pract ically the same answer. L<> discovert id that under her light ant gay m-anner Miss Helen Harvey was really an extremely serious young wouan. She even had “views” of life, am site told "Jack” that the man she nui-rled must be one who had “a work.” to do in the world.

A TRICKY ELEPHANT. V jjjP BOLIVAR AN EXPENSIVE ATTRACTION TO CARRY ABOUT. He Was Always Up to Some Antic, Frequently Amnaiue and Almost Certain to Be Kxpensive, During His Trainees Absence.

A big elephant in a tantrum Is one ot the most objectionable features connected with the maiiagement of a circus, according to a teteran bandmaster whose varied experiences with shows authority to speak upon the subject intelligeirfy. “The worst elephant connected with any circus on tlje road,” said the bandmaster, “was jfolivar, which is now in the Philadelphia Zoo. He was always looking for trouble. Not vicious trouble, but just mischief, and usually expensive mischief at that. He was afraid of only cue toeing on earth and that wasj Johnson, ills trainer. Every little whilefl tv’llei, Bolivar seemed to be sleepy andij careless Johnson would slip out for a look around the town. Just as often a| not chat was the very thing that Boll-

Her voice sings, and my heart replies Rejoicing in love's crown.; She “raised a mortal to the skies,” 1 “drew an angel down.” —Town and Country.

One good quality about “Jack” Long was the fact that he was persistent and hopeful, and he never for a minute gave up the idea of tvinning the girl’s consent at some time. But he and the other “fellows” agreed that she was a sad flirt.

md not b other. Next day the professor ind Heh en had another engagement to ook for conifers, and they spent the sveninrg again poring over their speci : mens,. T he hoys felt that their joke was rather getting away from theca. 'Jack” put on a playful manner and ventured to remark to Helen one morning a couple of wteeks later that “she was leading old ‘Iklnny’ a merry chase.” To his astonishment the young woman flushed up rosy Jpd and declared that if he was alluding to Prof. flope_ as “Skinny” he had h tter mend his manners. That she foun a man who had some serious purpose n life a great relief as compared will a lot of idlers. That convinced pick” that matters had gone quite far enough, and he determined to do sefnething desperate. One a ternoon Helen and the professor, w (i by tins time were inseparable, in I rowed across the lake to a bank w mre the professor felt sure he would nd something new in the line

HOW JACK GOT EVEN

Then something providential happened. A log hotel stood on the lake shore close to the Longs’ cottage. It was patronized fhicily by hunters and tishevvi'wn, who came up for a week or UVo at a time, and “Jack" and his college , friends had found plenty of good fellows among them. One night when they dropped into the hotel “office” they were startled to see none other than Thomas Erskine Hope. The professor was sitting in a big chair with his back to them, and when they boys had made certain they were not mistaken they slipped out of the hotel without a word. Here was a heavensent opportunity for them to get even with “Skinny.” How would they dolt? They might “send him to Coventry,” but that would probably suit him exactly. *

of Hchejis. They had pulled up the boat on the auk and had disappeared into the woids when “Jack” and young Elliot cane up.

AT the beginning of the spring term of his junior year "Jack” Long was sent home from college in disgrace, for some months he had been on the tenth course of discipline. and when he was discovered to be the ringleader of a gang of juniors who had stolen the seniors’ mortar boards and tied the President of the class of 1900 to an oak tree on the campus the faculty decided that it was time to act. They sentenced “Jack” to temporary retirement, only promising that if he did the proper amount of

“WeJ J steal the boat and hide it,” said Eliot, “and then, when they’ve both hid a good scare we’ll go back and give tli n the laugh. They make me tired, a.dT think it’s about time that Helen S t up on poor old ‘Skinny,’ anyhow. Bhe’ll drive him daffy.” The i.'jfc.-soi-’s boat was hidden and tlie s’jWkited for the couple to reappeait When an hour had gone by and there as still no sign of them both "Jack” and Elliot began to getalarmed.. "The c are plenty of cats in the woods, you know,” “Jack” said, “and now- Sid then a hear. I guess we had better see if anything has happened jh> them.”

var hoped he would do. The big brute would pull up the stake that he was chained to and go wandering off a cross Ui ■ tent, taking along with him eTfirytuirtg that his tackle caught in. The inly tiling that anybody could do When Be was In one of those playful moods was to yell ‘Johnson. Here he is Johnson. Bolivar would take a quick look around and sneak back to the place where he had been chained and look innocent.

Then new methods came in vogue, but Stuebert refused to adopt them, and in the march of time he was distanced. One by one his old customers died off, and. with the new-fangled drugs used by the doctors, his business came to a standstill, and the once flourishing druggist became comparatively forgotten. So surely and quietly has he passed out of action that to-day the city directory does not bear his name or register his house as a place of business.

“One day when we were in Westerly. R. I. Johnson, who had sorhe friends in town, went out for an hour or so to see them. He was hardly out of the grounds before Bolivar pulled up his Stake and struck for the highway. He went up through the village until he came to the ministers cottage. The big brute walked''carefully in at the gate and picked his Way down into the .vegetable garden. In about three minutes he had rooted up toe peas and the ’tucket corn and was making the pumpkin vines into wreaths for his brow. There wasn’t anything worth pulling up left In the garden, so he moseyed oyer to the kitchen, which was built onto the side of the house. He put up the window and stuck his trunk inside to explore. The first tiling he reached was the flour barrel and he was a white,elephant in about three minutes. There were about 500 circus people and townspeople out in front of the house watching him and he Just stepped to the front gate long enough to blow a cloud nt Tour all. oyer everybody within forty feet. Then 1 he went back and got his snout into the flour barrel again just as the minister heard the racket in the kitchen and came in to see what was doing. "What met him was a snow white elephant with his head half through the window, who let out a cloud of flour at him. The parson fainted and Bolivar gave him three or four more trunkfills of flour and then marched out into the front yard and began pulling up shrubbery and dusting himself off with it. The canvas man who were there yelled ‘Johnson’ until they were hoarse but Bolivar paid no attention to them. Nobody knew where Johnson was, but of a sudden a plan came to me and I called the band together. There was a tune that we called the ’Bolivar March.’ It was kind of slow and ponderous and it was the only thing we ever played while Bolivar was )i> the arena. * We lined up just inside the gate of the yartl ■and blew up the ‘Bolivar March.’ As we did so, Bolivar pricked up his ears and I could see his mind was working.

"I suppose," said Fred Elliot, who, next to "Jack,” was the wildest man in the class of ’01, “that old ‘Skinny’ has come up here to study coniferous cryptograms in their native haunts. It we let him alone that’ll be just what he wants. We’v.e got to get up some other scheme to make him miserable.” * It took until midnight to decide on a plan of action. When the boys went to bed they were agreed that poor old "Skinny” would soon be “up against it." They had a scheme which they were sure would result in his undoing. They could hardly wait until morning to try it.on.

Xow. at coflege Prof. Thomas Ersklne Hope was noted as the most modest and retiring of men. At sight of a woman he blushed, and he almost resigned his chair when co-education was introduced into the college. The plan of the conspirators was based on their knowledge of this fact. They w mid so over'to fhe'notel a ui«j; mm. and welcome the “dear professor” with the “glad hand.” They' w r ould insist on his coming over to the cottage, where he would be presented to Miss Fanny* and her girl friends, and, by way of preparing a pleasant time for him, they wo- Id tell the girls in ad- . vanee of what was on deck. “And if he once gets his eyes’on Helen Harvey,” said Fred Elliot, “he’ll

Acc#dingly the boys got out, of the boat 3ii(j[ pressed their way into the woods. As they broke through the uuderbrAdt; which cut off a little mosseoverql knoll from, the water a sight met their eyes which startled them both Jtith speechless and opA-eyed sllenci * Helq was sitting on top of a low stump At the foot of the -tump knelt the pro l essor, looking up at i he girl and holding oiie of her hands tightly clasped in b : “A-Bei i” said Elliot. The"’ i r.fes'sor turned and Helen climbed down from the Slump and stood8t is side. "Yojiu r gentlemen,” begun old “Skim y in his most formal classroom manner Miss Harvey has promised to be my ’ Vet. We had not intended to annoum it until after I have had the honor o: calling upon her father, and I ‘t#K trust to your honor as s-nuto- keep ol igageiaexu a secret -no til .-you are released by a public ann< uaeement. in the meantime, Mr. Lon g,?j went on “Skinny,” “I have to than! you for bringing a great happiness imomy life.”—Chicago Tribune.

He, however, hangs on and refuses to give up, claiming that he intends continuing a druggist till the end of his days. A few years ago a druggist on the hill offered him ?1,U00 for his stand, but Stuebert refused to vacate. To-day he open's and closes his store with regu larity and brushes up his stock, which is more than fifty years old, for the customers who never come. The old man is in his eighty-first year, and lives alone in a room in the rear of his store. The other day, while talking to a Commercial Tribune reporter. he said he could not understand why it Js that all his old friends who had used his medicines are now dead and he is still in the arena hale and hearty. Jokingly he exclaimed; “Maybe it is because I never was much of a hand to take medicines.”

Tlie Czar to His Valet. The moon has left the s' The morning snn Is risinr, t, And so, i’ faith, must I. 6et out my safest, suit of clothes, No garb of flimsy' cloth. But rather one with steel begirt, For I must sally forth. This morn I walk across the yard. Across the yard and back. And I on such a fearsome jaunt, No proper garb should lack. Get out my shoes of copper brown Get out my socks of mail, Get out the double-armored coat That sports the iron tail; I want a shirt of tempered steel, A pair of pants to match, A hat so Ann and hard and stanch. That bullets cannot scratch. I’ll button every seam with nails And rivets use for studs. And then I’ll seek the molten bath To Harveyize my duds. Prepare the bath, O Witchiswitch, And do it quick, I warn, For who can tell, some Nihilist Might shoot me while you’re gone. —Brooklyn Daily Eagle.

*hk proposed TO Her one moonlight NIGHT.” work out of college he might be permitted to graduate with his class. ‘•rof.. XJiO’.:xa. SL'sJom; T'” w«» .class officer that , J was heldChiefly to blame for i decision to send him home. Prof. Hope, Irreverently called "Skinny” in joint allusion to his middle name and t<j his gaunt and emaciated figure, was a young man not much older than “Jack" f'nd his fellows of the junior class, Tfe ad worked his way through college and had taken a post-graduate course at a German university, coming back then to take the chair of botany at his alma mater. He was a young man who ' took everything seriously, as one might have known after looking at his little brown side whiskers and the white string tie which always encircled his neck. He had no sympathy with and no understanding of the point of view of rich and fun-loving youths like “Jack,” to whom life was still a jest. But whatever the professor undertook he did thoroughly, which accounts for the rapidity with which “Jack” Long advanced through ail “courses of discipline" allowed by the college rules, until finally he was rusticated on motion of '“Skinny.” And "jack” and his classmates, with whom he was popular. held many a conference to discuss ways and means of getting even with

Use of the Automobile. With the increase of endurance and the perfection of motive power and mechancal parts, the automobile has grown popular. A crippled beggar in Paris, who formerly propelled himself by baud In a cart, recently bought a one-horse power machine and is now 1 making money by running errands. A | public service is to be established In 1 Honolulu. Routes arc being laid out j in Madagascar. The King of England | is having a ear de luxe built in Paris. ! Socialists are to make a propagandist | tour through Pennsylvania in a maI chine of their own. Emperor William j has been offering cups for contests. I The I.ondon and New York fire departments are both using autos, and a selfmoving fire engine has been In use for years in Hartford. Conn. The State Department of this country has requested our consuls abroad to furnish It with the rules governing the operation of automobiles in foreign cities. The list of significant things is almost endless.—World's Work.

e knew that tune hart never been played before when Johnson ,was not around. Johnson being his boss, he supposed naturally enough that Johnson bossed the whole show, ineluding the band. The band, he reasoned, wouldn't be out there playing its tfTclis" if Johnson was not around somewhere, tup. So he came out and fell right in behind the band and marched back to the tents as meek as Mary’s lamb and we sat up'there and played to the critter for two hours until Johnson came back. “The minister took $20 damages, $5 for his garden sass and $15 for bis feelings. Bolivar cost so much in damages that Mr. Foropaugh gave him to the Philadelphia Zoo.”

"Skinny.” When “Jack” went home for the Edfeter vacation it was understood that he would not return until the next fall a matter which gave that young man anmll concern. He looked upon it sine ply as a chance to enjoy himself. In pursuance Of that idea he whs delighted when his mother announced that as “Jack” would not be busy In college the family wohld move up to their Pike Eake cottage in northern Wisconsin on .Tune 1, a month earlier than usual.

- The family consisted of “Jack," his mother, and his pretty sister, Fanny, who was just out of finishing school. When comine*i‘'ement was over “Jack” had a couple 6f the “fellows” from college up-to spend a month with him, while Miss Fanny was hostess fora bevy of pretty girls, of whom the most important from Jack’s standpoint was Miss Helen Harvey, a blackeyed daughter of Louisiana, who was spending her first season in the North. “Jack” had icet Miss Harvey at the school which sue and Fanny both attended, and had so far lost his heart to her as such a thing was possible to him. Now he found himself* more strongly under the spell of the old infatuation. With a quick yielding to impulse which was characteristic of him, he propose! to her one moonlight night under the enks and was laughed at for his pains.

FIRST MINISTERS IN VIRGINIA. All-Ronr4. Men, Who Went to CockPi«i!>t»as Well aa Prayers. Lando i Knight, the correspondent, has mat ■ a special study of the early churchhiistory of Virginia. The fruit of one o his latest journeys is a time- - ly and atriotic article, “Where the Spirit of independence Was Born.” It appears in the Woman’s Home Companion. He'touches many old customs, nod has the following to say of the milliners of the established church: “If t|ere is a striking characteristic of thisjfeacly church it was the mutual devothn of pastor and flock. In this day, wicu yie church and its members occupyfeo largely a merely business relation x) each other, it Is difficult for us to jiulerstand the regime of that time. (Vith tender words of hope the pastor k. 'othed and strengthened the departig soul; he married them, he settled family quarrels, and if he were not precut when they came into the world le was pretty sure to be on the premises, for the rector of that day loved elcirement. He occupied in nothing a ipsition apart from his parishioners, but lived the fullness of their lives, bought with them, ate with them, md, it must be confessed, drank rid tii tie in. sometimes to excess. If he did not like to miss any races, and frequettly himself rode the winning horse under the wire; if sometimes lie preside! .with great dignity and fairness as referee at aristocratic cocking mains, w put new life into the betting by offelng to wager a year’s tithing on the winning bird, he Avas at all times ai elegant gentleman in all that the wod implies; his teachings were sound, md despite his faults his influence wis decidedly good. Narrow in sometlings arid very intolerant in others, he vas nevertheless religious, and it may b? said of him, qs it was of poor Dick Steele, that he spent his time equally between sinning and repenting. In the Ceremonials and outward forms of religion he was a martinet, and lie could forgive a duel somewhat more readily than absence from church.”

IHfetor* Scarce in Hungary. In Hungary there are thousands of village*' and hundreds of small towns without t> doctor within ten miles.

Do good for good’s sake and seek neither praise nor reward

'WHEN HE STARTED MISS HABVEY WENT WITH HIM.”

never have another quiet moment, eh, Jaf-k?”

Next morning the plan was carried out. It worked to perfection. The poor professor blushed and stammered when he was presented to the array of girls, and he almost had a fit when Miss Helen sat down beside him and asked about his work. The conspirators went out into the woods and almost exploded with laughter when they heard “Skinny” accept an invitation to stay to luncheon at the cottage. That afternoon- the plot thickened. The professor did not go out to study conifers until 4 o’clock. When he started out Miss Helen Harvey went with him, carrying a basket and a trowel. It was almost dinner time when they came back, and Helen appeared Intensely Interested. She insisted that the professor stay to dinner. “We’ve found three rare varieties,” she said at the table, “and Prof. Hope is going to show me how to identify them after dinner.” The professor and Miss Helen worked over their books and specimens until after 10 o’clock that night, and when the somewhat worried “Jack” went In to ask Helen to come out in the moonlight and sing he was told to run along

Little Joker in a Lost Creek Epitaph Here lies the clay of Mitchell Coots, Whose feet yet occupy his boots; His soul has gone—we know not when It landed, neither do we care. He slipped the joker up his sleeve With vile intention to deceive. And when detected tried to jerk His gun, but didn't get his work In with sufficient swiftness, which Explains the presence here of Mitch. At Gabriel’s trump, if he should wake, He’ll mighty likely try to take The trump with that same joker he Had sleeved so surreptitiously. And which we placed upon his bier When we concealed the body here. —Denver Post. A Missouri girt was thunderstruck when she learned of her beau's marriage to another girl, but recovered shortly after and eloped with a light-ning-rod peddler.

A preacher riding down a ravine came upon an old mountaineer hiding in the bushes with his rifle.

Waiting for His Man.

“What are you doing there, my friend ?”

“Hide on, stranger,” was the easy answer. “I’m a-waitin’ fer Jim Johnson, and, with the help of the Lawd. I’m goin’ to blow his damn head off.”— Scribner’s,

Tennis playing may be all right, but, grammatically speaking, “ten are playing” would sound better.