Nappanee Advance-News, Volume 29, Number 36, Nappanee, Elkhart County, 4 November 1908 — Page 3

JOHN nCNDY

131)1111 P

BY GEO. V. HOBART, (“HUGH M’HUGH.”)

Dear Bud: I’m going to pull something on you in this letter that will make you get up and leave the room. Just tq.kill time, I’ve been dabbling in literature. * (P. S. —Time died a violent death, all right, all right!) I want you to read these little stories from the Sanscrit, and scold me.when we meet. Once more, go to it, Bunch! The Finish of Billdad. And it came to pass that Billdad the son of Jimdad was worried within hijpself, and he communed with himself, saying: "Behold! I must join the Brethren of the Long Thirst in secret session this night, but what good thing shall I say unto my wife when she chides me with having no great purpose in going forth?” And Billdad the spn of Jimdad

“What Talk Have Ye, Billdad? Quit Your Joshing.” glanced discon stately at his favorite newspaper, and his heart was like lead within him. And even as he read a smile broke forth from the gloom that overshadowed his face, and this smile was like unto the first faint flush of the wakening East, and he arose with gurglesome glee as does one whose mind is relieved of- a mighty burden. And he communed with himself softly,-saying: "Politics! ’Tis a pipe!” And Billdad the son of Jimdad called his wife to his side, and he spake unto her, saying: "Maud, the soft whiteness of thy cheek is fairer than the bloom that loves to linger on the lilies of the Nile! Thine eyes are twin thieves, which by some sorcery have ta'en the light from yon poor, weeping star, and now that light must lurk forever in those languorously limpid depths! Thy smile, O Maud, is like the scintillating sweetness of a summer’s sky !” And Maud, the wife of Billdad the son of Jimdad, made answer, and said: “What talk have ye, Billdad? Quit your joshing, or I'll baste’you with the broom. Got to go out again to-night, I Suppose. What is it this time? The Inner Circle of the Royal Sons of a Krupp Gun? Oh is it the Ancient Order of the Accidental Dollar Bill?” And Billdad the son of Jimdad answered and said: "Nay, sweet wife of my weary heart, 'tis none of these. 'Tis politics that beckons me forth into the noisome night. Knowst thou not that the two Great Parties will soon have to grapple in the final deathstruggle, and my uncertain rote still wavers in the winds of indecision? Therefore, this night, O wife of my weary heart, Igo forth-to join a garrulous group of statisticians, astrologists, soothsayers, and seers to the end that my eyes may clearly see the light and my vote may count upon the side of Right., Be thou of good' cheer, be-, loved, for I shall sit at the feet of the" wise fnen of Egypt and imbibe much wisdom. Wherefore, thou need'st not wait up for me, for politics is like unto an owl-train for lateness, and the soothsayers say not neither do they sooth' uhfirthe' world Ts HfrT the"dead of night!” And Billdad the son Os Jjmdad went forth to sit at the feet of the wise men of Egypt. v And it came to pass that full soon his heaving bosom rested on the onyx trimmings of the bar, and his right foot was in tender touch with the brass rail at the base thereof. And a great joy shone forth from his eyes as he murmdred: "“Sixbeers —what are you going to have?” And when the night was far spent, Billdad the son of Jimdad drew zigzaggingly iigh unto his habitation, and his knees were prone to wobble with much uncertainty of purpose. And Maud t the wife of Billdad the son of Jimdad, stood m the open door, and she made scornful conjecture, saying: “Ha! Ha! Thou did'st sit at the feet of the wise men of Egypt, eh? Thou look’st the part, for, me_-__ thinks, the wise men of Egypt used you for a door mat. Thou did’st alsdl imbibe a stein! Bah, Billdad! Speak not to me of politics! Come, now, stand before me, Billdad, and with straightforward voice say after me these words: ‘I simply stood and heard those speakers shout?' ” And Billdad the son of swayed gently to and fro in the light of the breaking morn, and he spake; saying: “I shimply sh'ood an’ h’er zoash sheekors spout!” * * ' -And of tlje fretftrl finish of Billdad the Jimdad let there be no cruel chronicle made. ’ ~i P.£bbleonthebeach. And it came to pikss that a certain Gity Man looked upon the sun when it was red. and he communed with himself, saying: "Behold! the summer

SANSCRIT STORIES

approacheth on rubber shoes, and the mercury will soon be up against the roof of its habitation; therefore, it behooveth me to Journey quickly unto the Land of Pebbleonthebeach, lest peradventure, a great humidity shall rise up over the city and transform me into a state of meltedness.” And the City Man spake unto his wife and his wife’s nearest kinswoman; and unto all the diminutive members of his own Individual tribe, saying: "Behold, the bow-wow days will soon be upon us; therefore let us pull down the blinds, place our worldly possessions fn the trapped depths of the safety-vault, and hie us to that balmy peacefulness which the gentlevoiced advertisements say abounds with a joyous plentitude in the Land of Pebbleonthebeach forever and ever.” And the wife of the City Man and her nearest kinswoman and all the diminutive members of his own individual tribe made swift answer, and spake, saying: "Let’s!” And it came to pass that they journeyed into the Land of Peebleonthebeach, and their hearts wefe glad within them, for the scene was fair to loak_npon, and-the ocean was full of cold water. And lo! even as they looked a hot wave arrived on a fast train from the City and enveloped all J:he Land of Pebbleonthebeach, and humidity also arrived in perspiratious quantities, and made 'the Land of Pebbleonthebeach look and feel like the innermost recesses of a Japanese warship during a battle in the newspapers. And the City Man and the City Man’s wife and his wife’s nearest kinswoman, and all the diminutive members of his own individual tribe, forsook their raiment and rushed into the ocean, which was full of cold water, saying to one another: “Ha! ha! the humidity cannot touch us here!” And behold! the waves put on their white caps and communed one with another, saying: “The Cityites are in our midst; let us make merry with them! ” And straightway the little waves collaborated in a successful effort to land on the City Man's solar plexus, and what they did to his was a plentiful plentitude. And unto the wife of the City Man the little waves did likewise, until she was fain to scream sufficiency. And the undertow grabbed the City Man's wife's kinswoman and stood her on her head, and rendered her unfit for speechification. And the members of the life-saving station worked overtime hauling from the cavernous depths of the ocean the diminutive members of the City Man’s own individual tribe; and trouble was their portion. Jjnd when the Cityites were come k frqm the bosom of tht mighty

UrvUl—She Was Fa In to Scream Sus- . * flclency. •. , deep, the Mosquito and the Landlord presented their bills, and yet; unto this very hour the City Man knoweth , not , which,, hill ...penetrated ..with the most terrifying penetrativeness. And it came to pass that the CityMan knew no peace in the Land of .Pebbleonthebeach, and he commurred with himself, saying' “Lo! the gentlevolced advertisement is a delusion and a snare; for the wild waves are even an automobile chauffeur for rudeness; the humidity followeth unceasingly, and the Mosquito stingeth like an adder. Therefore will I gather the remnants of my tribe about—me and flee for the City whence I came, lest, peradventjire, the Landlord shall take my wearing apparel, even as he hath taken my purse and the contents thereof." And straightway he got up and gat. And even as he gat he communed with himself, saying: "Stang!” Cheer up, Bunch; the Wurst is yet to come, as the man said when the waiter, didn’t bring the sausage. Yours as heretofore, ' ■„•'■ * J. H. 'Copyright, 1908, by G. W: Dillingham Cos.) Leads to “Open Sunday.” French communication seems to be corrupting the British SahbatHT The Sunday society has pleaded the increasing number of visitors—“entente cordiallists” —from across the channel unaccustomed tb such severe observance, as a reason for opening more galleries and museums on Sundays, The request lifts been granted with a special-view probably to the French invasion which is expected during the Franco-British exhibition thfs summer. A distinguished French journalist expresses a hope that other places be thrown open—restaurants, ‘ for Instance.

LIVED ON TEN CENTS A WEEK. Bill Doolittle’s System a Good One, But Not Attractive. D’y’ u find smoking hurts y’u?” asks .Hi piddle, a Yankee lawyer, in Willie Brook's story, “The Solar Machine,” in Harper’s. "It probably doesn’t do me any good,” I said; “but I’d have trouble qhitting it.” “No, y’u wouldn’t. Smoke this.” He took from his vest pocket the fellow to the stogey in his mouth and tossed it across the table to me. “Ever hear how Bill Doolittle lived on ten cents a week?” I confessed that . Bill's economies had never been brought to my attention. “Wal,” said Biddle, “he took dinner with a friend on Sunday, an’ ate enough <to. last ’im till Wednesday. Then he bought ten cents’ wuth o’ tripe, an’ he hated tripe so like thunder that it lasted ’im the rest o’ the week. These seegars work, a good deal like that tripe. You take tosmokin’ ’em, an’ y’u won’t want more'n one or two a day.” 15 YEARS OF SUFFERING. Burning, Painful Sores on Legs— Tortured Day and Night—Tried Many Remedies to No Avail —Cured by Cuticura. *- “After an attack of rheumatism, running sores broke out on my husband’s legs, from belotv the knees to the ankles. There are no words to tell all the discomforts and great suffering he had to endure night and day. He used every kind of remedy and three physicians treated him, one after the other, without any good results whatever. One day I ordered some Cuticura Soap, Cuticura Ointment, and Cuticura Resolvent. He began to use them and in three weeks all the sores were The burning fire stopped, and the pains became bearable. After three months he was quite well. I can prove this testimonial at any time. Mrs. V. V, Albert, Upper | Frenchville, Me., July 21, 1907.” LOCATED.

sjp. _

“Goodness, sonny, are you in pain?” "Naw, the pain’s in me—boo-hoo!” Putting It Politely. It was evident that the directors were very nervous. Anxiously they awaited the coming of the president, who had summoned them in haste. At length he appeared, greatly distressed. “Gentlemen,” lie said, "I am very sorry to say that it is my duty to impart to you some disagreeable news. I assure you that this is the saddest day of my life. I Would rather have cut off my right arm than been compelled to send for you on an occasion of this kind. It is most —” “What’s the matter?” one of the directors impatiently asked. “The cashier has aviated.” Well Prepared. “I learn,” she said reproachfully, “that you were devoted to no fewer than five, girls before you finally proposed to me. How do I know that you didn’t make desperate love to all oi them?” “I did,” he replied, promptly. “You did!” she exclaimed. “Certainly,” he returned. “You don’t- suppose for a moment that 1 would be foolhardy enough to try for such a prize as you are without prac? ticing a little first, do you?” PUZZLE SOLVED. Coffee at Bottom of Trouble. It takes some people a long time to find out that coffee ,is hurting .them.. But when once the fact is clear, -most people try te-keep-away from the thing which is followed by ever increasing detriment to the heart, stomach and nerves. “Until two years ago I w-as a heavy coffee drinker,”, writes an 111. stockman, “and had been all my life. lam now 56 years old. “About three years ago I began to have neryous spells and could not sleep nights, was bothered by indi-gestimr-bleating, -ami ga on--stomaeh-affected my heart. “I spent lots of money doctoring—one doctor told me I had chronic catarrh of the stomach; another that I had heart disease and was liable to die at any time. They all dieted me until I w T as nearly starved but I seemed to get worse instead of better., “Having heard of the good Postum had done fog nervous people, I discarded coffee altogether and began, tp ■ use Postum regularly. I soon got better, and now, after nearly, two years, I can truthfully say 1 am sound and well.. — —.- ■’ . ."-T~ “I slbep well at night, do not have the nervous spells and am not bothered with indigestion or. palpitation. I weigh 32 l&ounds more than when I began Postum,,and am better every way than I ever was while drinking coffee. I can’t say too much in praise of Postum, as I am sure it saved my life.” ""Thore’s a Reason# Name given by Postum Cos., Battle Creek, Mich. Read “The Road to Wellville,” in pkgs. Ever rra/ thr above letter? Anew one appear* from time to time. They are genuine, true, and full of human Interest. ■ .- • —-- . ...- 5. * •+> •

KEPT GETTING WORSE. Five Years of Awful Klrfney Disease. Nat Anderson, Greenwood, S., C., says: "Kidney trouble began about

five years ago with dull backache, which got so severe in time that I could not get around. The kidney secretions became badly disordered, and at times there was almost a complete stop of the

flow. I was examined again and again and treated to no avail, and kept getting worse. I have to praise Doan’s Kidney Pills for my final relief and cure. Since using them I have gained in strength and flesh and have no sign of kidney trouble.” Sold by all dealers. 50 cents a box. Foster-Milburn Cos., Buffalo, N. Y. Unusually Severe Drought. The water In Lake Champlain during the recept drought reached the lowest point recorded in local history, nine feet below high water mark. Steamers were obliged to abandon many of their trips on account of'the impossibility of making landings at the docks. The mountain brooks became almost dry, and the beds of some of the largest riVers were mere threads of water. The drought and forest fires were ruinous to agricultural interests.— New York Sun. SIOO Reward, SIOO. The readers of this paper will be pleased to learn that there is at least one dreaded disease that science has been able to cure in all its stages, and that is Catarrh. Hall's Catarrh Cure is the only positive cure now known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh being a constitutional disease, requires a constitutional treatment. Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken In--stemally. acting directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the system, thereby destroying the foundation of the disease, and giving the patient jtrength by building up the constitution and assisting nature in doing Its work. * The proprietors have so much faith in Its curative bowers that they offer One Hundred Dollars for any ease that It fails to cure. Send for list of testimonials Address F. J. CHENEY & CO.. Toledo, O. Sold by all Druggists. 75c. Take Hall’s Family Pills for constipation. Savagery ip Civilization. It is no time to say that man cannot, in civilized society, be guilty of cannabllism. I tell you there are more cannibals in New York than In the Isles of the Pacific; and if to-day you were suddenly to take away the support that comes from eating men, there would be thousands and thou- * sands of ’ empty maws to-morrow in that city.—Henry Ward Beecher. Lewis’ Single Binder straight sc. Many smokers prefer them to 10c cigars. Your dealer or Lewis’ Factory, Peoria, 111. There are two sides to every story —and some have four and a ceiling. Mrs. Winslow’s Soothing Syrup. For children teething, soften, the gums, reduce# In. flanimation, allays pain, cures wind colic. 25c a bottle. You don’t have to go to a rink to see a lot of cheap skates. It Cures While You Walk Allen-bFoot-Ease forcornsand bunions, hot, sweaty callous aching feet. 25c all Druggists. Stealing time from sleep is a poor way to beat it.

u ' so.- L'Tiril lj!7iT!n nit !hj AVegelable Preparation for As • i*sis similat ing the Food and Regulajj:| ling the 5 tomachs and Bowls of Promotes Digestion,Cheerful?j ness and Rest .Contains neither l !> Opium .Morphine nor Mineral to Not Narcotic J B",pt of Old DrSAMVEIffTCffEB ||l Pumpkin Sfd - AlxSom ia * \ j u ftothtlh Satis - I & fs . birm StU - I . CtorifiVd Sugar J IjC Wmkrgrttn flavor ' Jo A perfect Remedy for Conslipnl W lion, Sour Stomach,Diarrhoea, Wo Worms,Convulsions,FeverishM ness and LOSS OF SLEEP ° ‘j'tj Facsimile Signature of *t?if go? The Centaur Company. Jilt NEW YORK. \|Guarante*d under the Foodand) Exact Copy of Wrapper.

■IRAHap I I HjH ■_ |B SmS M| Bi rBI LsLi ■ W M

nniin 3 nd* 6- 7b I ™ I H MRiB m® Sportsmen's Supplies Rnlßnl m we save you money fl H m m aW Kiua.'p: 'or . r. BBi aHpOWELLACIEMENTCO. VI ■ BI qw 410 Main St, Cinciamii, 0. " , 4 ' ' PI LBS CUBED ABSOLUTELY SURE with wintrr- , green and lard. I guarantee Litre cure or return money. Send two dimes.- ,C BKOWJS, J 344 Loug Street* Columbu, Ohio

CASTORIA For Infants and Children, The Kind You Have Always Bought Signature /A\ l fv In hX Use \y For Over Thirty Years CASTORIA TMC OIHT.ua OOMHHT, TOSS OITT.

HERMAN REEL, Milwaukee, Wl*. CBNTiai if two tnr trappers on KAW FUKS AND FUB GOATS.

Put new shoes on the youngster. . Look at them in a week. t They’re usually battered, scraped, almost shapeless. Get a pair of Buster Brown y Scuffing, scraping, kicking doesn’t mar 'eSryjw them—they thrive on knocks. They BUSTER BROWN Blue Ribbon SHOES

For youngsters, $l5O to $250 White House Shoes for grown-ups. Ask your dealer for them. THE BROWN SHOE CO., Maher. HEW OWJTV ST. LOUIS, U. S. A. IBM f I yi jHjBBBn /

Sloan’s Liniment is the best remedy for sprains and bruises. It quiets the pain at once, and can be applied to the tenderest part without hurting because it doesn’t need to be rubbed all you have to do is to lay it on lightly. It is a powerful preparation and penetrates instantly relieves any inflammation and congestion, and reduces the swelling. Sloan’s Liniment

FURS

I|| tl js-‘Vv. ■ InlffWQ

is an excellent antiseptic and germ killer heals cuts, bums, wounds and contusions, and will draw the poison from sting of poisonous insects. Price, 25c., 50c., and SI.OO. Dr. Earl S. Sloan, Boston, Mass., U.S.A. Sloan’s book on horses, cattle, sheep and poultry sent free.

W. t. Donglai make* and will more 1 men’s 53.00 nnd 53.50 shoe, than any other manufacturer In the world, be* cause they hold their shape, lit better, and wear longer than any other make. ShoesstAllPrloss.forEvsrv ttsmbsrof tho, Family, Min, Boyt/Wornon, MlsusiChMiM W.L.DMfUs4.eOsBO $.OO SUIUos (hMSMaast b. tfulltd si any prUa. W. L. DMfIM 01.00 tad 01.00 iOom imilwbMl la UurvoilO 7arf Color JPy.Mj Umd *ilsilda 09“ Take No Aulwtltule. W. L PoOfiM name and price Is namiwd on bottom. Sold everywhere Shoes mailed from factory to any part ot Iha world. Catalogue fret, W. U POUQLAS, 117 Spink St , hrwhtea. Wow.

Savings Investments - SAFER THAN A SAVINGS’ BANS AND PAYING BETTER INTEREST Seven per cent city improvement bonds, payable one to ten yjfars. A gilt edge investment. -Write at- once. T. H. PHILLIPS & COMPANY 203 Equitable Bldd., Tacoma, Wash* WANTED Men and boys to learn Painting, Decorating and Paper Hanging. 20th Century methods. For terms and information, address ChicagoSchyoTbrPaMngt'DeMratTng 46 & 48 Dearborn Ave., CHICAGO, ILL H ■ fPllfA Watson E. Cole man, Waah. Kfl IP N I luaUm. DC. Book" fire. I HI wall I West references. Hast reaulbk POR SAEE! A paying grocery business In a grow- ' * lng town, good location. Box 152, Hollister, Cal* 1 A. N. K.—A (1908—45) 2255.

END 26c for trial Bi*e“Retterbalt.” Best In the world for catching Mink, Fox, etc. Bend for Price List of Haw Furs. Mention this paper. HERMAN REEL, Milwaukee, IVIi.

J. CROUCH & Son, Props., Lafayette, Ind. Largest Importers in America of Ferciieron, Belgian and German Coach We have over 200 head of young, sound, imported STALLIONS of the .above breeds in our barns and can suit anyone jn Horae, Price and Term*. Every Greatest lot of hightaUions in America. If your neighborhood needs a Stallion, write us.

BAIT