Marshall County Democrat, Volume 4, Number 21, Plymouth, Marshall County, 21 April 1859 — Page 1

MA1S1ALL

MHIW

DEMOCRAT.

VOL 4, NO. 21. PLYMOUTH, INDIANA, THURSDAY APRIL 31, 1859. WHOLE NO. 176

business

BANK Iff 11 STATE fif MIAU. BRANCH AT PLYMOUTH, 1D. E. S. ORGAN, Pre?. II. . AR LY, Cashier EASTERN EXCHANGE, Draft- . nciixnati ami Chicago, (J.M and Silver, L'ncur Tent Money ami Land Warrants BOUGHT AND SOLD. IT Deposit Received and Money Loaned. IT Exchange oh Kurope liotitrlit ami soM. O" Attention riven to Collections, ami General Banking Business Transacted. June 23, Irf. 31WHEN WILL WONDERS CEASE! IN PLYMOUTH? II A Ii T MAN & CO Have starte! a new Harness and ISadille Slion two doors north of J Brownlee's store, n the East .-ilef .Michigan st i eet, at No 0 j where they inten! kecking on Iiaiil, Saildles and Harness of all 1 kiiils, ami will s-ll as cheap as the cheapest. Call and examine their stock anl work. All Tepairin lone in onler and on short notice. 1-ltf II. B. DICKSON J. C LEONARD H- 13 DICKSON S: CO. DEALERS TN TT J. H X W A IF. 33, of every description, also, Stoves, Tin, S teet-Iron and Copper Ware bvoU PLYMOUTH, IND. Edwards & Vanvalkenburgh, DKAI.FR? in O O "t CÄ3 SllOOS, PLYMOUTH IND. H. CORBIN M. A. O. TUiKARD. COUBIN & PACKA'IO Attorneys and Counsellors at Law. AND PLYMOUTH, JSD U'ferlo Auer I. arias. Ronxktt, & co., N Y City; John Livingston. " Town. Smith & Shei.df.n. Detroit, Mich.; Secor. Berdan & co, Toledo, Ohio; M II Norton L co. Chicago, 111; lion C A Stcy, Tecunv-eh, Mich; Hon Tnos S Stantiki-d, South Bend, Ind HnovTi-Dl tf C. II. REEVE A.C. CATRON. AT T0RK2YS & NOTARIES Plvmoufh. Marshall "County, Inl.. Practice in Marsh ill ami adjoining counties. REFER TO Bibcock & Co.. p-.i. Jns, D d-e & Co , N. V. Coolev.FiTwcll &Co.,(-o.iM & Bio. Chioa.zo. Loudon t Co . riüla l.. (Ii !!". IVnn tt & Co.. Pi.ts. Hon. A. L. Osimjiiu', Circ't. Jude, Lipore, Ind. X.AW STOTIC32. STANFircr.D & JOHNSON I. '. .1.1.1111.1,1'. Ml -4 II IJI III, llI.f Mil', .1 , r .,. .Iii ! : , i Johnson, of I Ivnonth Indian:!, have associated 'V . -t-. r t....l, IJ..., 1 Ti.1 on.l A th.mselves toother for the practice of Law, in all; the Courts of M ir'hall County Mr fctanheM will personally assist in t'-if m.matrement of all litigated bu-sine-s OiKce in Coioin's block, nirivt j. c. osboüne n. t. rmi.i.ir. OSIJOIlNF.ifc PITir.I.TPS -J 1m & Aim i.V. W OFFICE First door north of Bovd's Furniture Store. PLYMOUTH, IND. JOHN Mü SHOEIVIAK ER, 5s i n . v. R IN mmm mm k muri mftjnnnfflt7 Imt., KEF.PS-v.n-trmtlv on band Clocks, Wt-hes, HUE AST PINS, KAR RINGS, FINGER KINGS, LOCKETS, c, kc. 3 i'Clock, Watches, &c., repaireil in the best manner pssibie. jan 7 7-tf. PAUKER HOUSE, H. M. HOPKINS, PROPRIETOR. LAPOIJTE, INDIANA. V. W. AXTELL, Clerk. jul .'l.'lly J. H. CASE, JTJSTJOK OF Tili: PI5AOK I'lTAS moved his ofhVe one ilr north of Pierce . rv'rt :,r in- Yvmorral V?'. o.'Ikc, on .Michigan street, where he will giv ,..-,.n.',t .iifw.Ti , .,!! ..I .t .1 ... 1.:... c c dI'c!ioit, ras Jiisiice of the jm ace or in Inch cr courts. V.t . xing Vc.proniptlv attcmlctl to Plymouth, Ind s , pt. !. 1 ."-12: f. '-'-- - ....... .-r tut I.UML-- IUI 'I IJ 11 III 1 IP SHAV'Nj, AND On .Michigan t, opposite Pierce's Clothing store whi-rc the sui-;cii;'r is ready at all times, during business hours, to 1. up Shai 'ing. Hair cutting &c., in less time and Ik tter style than ever before known itliis vicinity; and he hoj.es tint hereafter, by a Vfrict attention to business, to merit a liberal pattrouage from the citizens g n-r.illv. ALFRED BILLOWS. rTT-tf. .T. .1. VIXAI.fi, HOMEOPATHIC PHYSICIAN.-Particular attention pai.l to Obstetric Practice, ami Chrun.c d.seaaof Women.Hiid liseases nf ChiMren. Oihce over C. Palmer's store, mrnn, i;..l: gin am! Laporte streets, where he can be consulte! at all hours. i-:itf. tiSjgg) DR. A, 0. BORTON, SURGE T DENTIST, "XX loeateI in Plymouth where he will be preI I pared at all tim s. (Mondays and Tnrsilays execptr!) to perform all operations pertaining to t!ie Dental profession. Special attention given to gleaming the teeth. Diseases of the mouth treatfl with sin-cess. Satisfaction will be given to all who may favor him with a call. !T7Roonis in Pcr.diiog's building, up stairs entrance first hall door. niav 20-2f,if. DR. T. A. B jRTOKT Physician and Surgeon, Office over Pershing's Drug Store, in Dr. A. O Horton s Dentil Rooms, Mi chigan street, east nidc tomer of Gano, where he may be consulted dur. nig ofTicc hours. Dwelling two doors north of theCourt House, Center st. west pide, Plymouth. Ind IIIA,YitWO,.n,CW aita wl"'r Family CAUHK. LS slide feat hieb 1 will fell cn the

A.

V I

Meiertet! $)orfrg.

We don't often meet with a more touching effusion than this sing le lay, or one that expresses more in a more simple way: The Old Printer. A Trinter stool at his case one night (And :i very hard case was his'n), And his weary sijrht was dim as the lijrht Of the lamp in his dusty prison; The wintry wind were how ling without, And the snow ialliiifT, thick and last. But the Printer, I trow, shook his locks of snow And laughed at the shrieking blat; He watched the hands as the cluck crept round, Keeping time with Us snail like tick, As he gathered the type with a weary click, In his old rust-eaten slick. Wis hair was as white as the falling snow - And silently, day by day, He beheld with grief, like autumn leaf, One by one 'passing away.' Time had cut with his plov, furrows in his brow, His. cheek was fevered and thin, And his long roman nose could almost repose Its head on its gray-headed chin; And his fingers long, as the hours stole on, Keeping time with the clock's dull tick, He gathered the type with a weary click, In the old rust eaten stick. For many loop: years thro' joys, thro' tears That old Printer's tiiiie-Wrrr face, Ghostly and lean, night and morn had been seen, Earnestly bent o'er the chase. A lew years more Death will lock up his form And put it to prtss in the mold, And a stone on the spot where they lay him to rot, Will tell us his name, and how old; And his comerades will light the old lamp by his case. And list to the clock's dull tick, As they set up his death, with a solemn tick, In his old rust-eaten stick. The Homestead. It is not as it u?ed to be When you and I were young; When round each elm and maple tree The honey sacklo clung; Rut sail I love the cottage where I passed my early years. Though not a single face is there That memory endears. It is not as it used to be! The moss is on the roof, And from their nests beneath the eaves The swallows keep aloof. The robbins how they used to sing When you anJ 1 were young; And how d.d Hit the wild "bee's wing The opening flowers among! It is not now as it used to be! The voices loved of yore, Ami the forms we were wont to sc, We see and hear no more. No more! alas, we look in vain, For tho-ie to whom we clung, And love as we can love but once, When you and I were young. A Hniiv Article. Adam JlonaVer. a number of years ago, came to Huntingdon Furnace, ami seeing there, for the first time, a pair of snuffers, he asked: What's them fur?' 'To sntifV the candle. 'To snuff the candle ? The candle just then needed attention, and A1- . , . i 11' '14 O ll am, with his thumb and linger pinched on the ' " --nuff, and carefully poked it into the snuffers, saying, 'Well, now, them is handv.' 'Bill, I'll tell yer jist how much gold I wish I had, ami I'd be satisfied.' 'Well,' said the individ ual apjiealcd to.'go on; I'll sec if you got the liberal ideas of a gentleman. Well, Bill, I wish I had so much gold that it would take a seventy-fourgun ship, loaded down with needle? so loi-p, that if you put in another needle she'd sink and all the needles to be worn out in making bu.io bold nir pile.' Darn it, why don't you wish for somcthin when you undeitake it! I wish that I had so much that yours wouldn't pay I lie interest on mine for the time you could hold a red hot knitting needle in Mother 'Here, Tommy, is some nice castor oil with orange in it.' Doctor 'Now remember, don't give it all to Tommy; leave some for me Tommy (who has been there) 'Doctor's a nice man, ma, give all to the Doctor.' j An exchange, speaking of the treatment a J police oflicer received from a drunken women wuoin lie was eiMcavoring to taKc the jail, says, she kickcil and cuffed hi in around as freely as if lie had been her husband! In Wisconsin they call a bribe a 'pecuniary com-I-linu-iit, and a defalcation in a public officer an : ,,. . , , oiiivl.il coil i V Ulice. Hyron was disenchanted when he saw his inamorata eating. In other words, he faltered when youth and beauty were at steak. The Cincinnati Gazette, of a late date, gets off the following: With whiskers thick upon my face, I went my fair t.) see; She told me she could never love A 'bear' faced chap like me. I tihaved them clean, then c.dled again, And thought my troubles o'er, She laughed outright, and aid I wni More 'bare faced' than before, Mrs Partington thinks that old mother Ocean is no better than she ought to be, or else nhe would not allow the Atlantic cable to lay in her bosom! A promising young couple were sitting up the up the other night, and toward 'wee Fmi hours ayont the twal, conversation flagged sadly. A long silence wa broken by the lady, with the remark, 'what an awful pause!' Her lover quickly replied, I guess you'd have awful pauses if you worked as hard as I do!' My lad said a traveler to a little lioy whom he met, clothed in pants and small jacket, but with -out a very necessary article of apparel, 'my lad, where is your shirt? 'Mammy's washing it. 'Have yoiinootiicr? 'No othr!' exclaimed the urchin to surprise, would you want a boy to have a thousand shirts?' 'Wife, said a tyrannical to his much abused consort,'! wish you to make me a pair of false bosoms.' I should think,' replied she 'that one bosom as false as yonra is, would be sufficient.' Exit husband in a brown stud v. What's that' said a Rchoolmaster, pointin to the letter X, 'Daddy's name. 'No it isn't your daddy's uauv), you blockhead, it's X. I'll be darned if it haint. It's daddy's name, Mowed if itaint. I've seen him write it often.

Cirious Coi.ncide.nce. A correspondent of the Baltimore Sun relates the following singular anecdote: In his office, on last Saturday four weeks, an incident took place, the solemn verification of which vividly revives in the mind of the only suvvivor,

of the three gentlemen present at the interview. Post Master General Brown was signing his offi cial journal his clerk standing on the left, turning over the '.ages as each signature was affixed. Mr Marron, then the Third Assistant Post Master General, having under charge at that critical peri od the important responsibilities of the finance di vision, entered the room to obtain Mr Brown's sig nature to a draft. Turning to the right he cheer fully signed the piper, and Mr Marron was retir ing when the head of the department remarked Marron, I wish yoa would come in and see me when I get through with this.' Being then long after the usual office hours Mr M turned and said 'Do you wish me to sec you again to-day, sir? Yes,' replied Mr Brown; I want to know if you have set your house in order; for in a mouth or less, we shall have neither a habitation nor a name here.' Mr Marron, with a conviction that his official house was always in order, paused a moment, and with surprise and u smile, remarked My house in order?' Yes sir vour house in order; for in a month or less, we shall have neither a habitation nor a name here. Well Governor, replied Mr Marron, 'if the storm comes, I can stand it as well as others,' and then pleasantly left the room. The lamented head of the department then said that his remarks referred to the action of Congress indicatiiig the defeat of important mcaurcs then under review. How prophetic was the prediction of that hour! On that verv dav four weeks, the efficient ass'utant was fl lowed to tle tomb, and now the statesman from whose lips with so much emphasis it fell. The gentleman who attempted to cut his throat with a sharp joke, a few days since, has again made a rash attack upon his victualing department, by stabbing hinn-clf with a point of honor. Shall I have your hand?' said an exquisite to a belle, as the dance was about to commence. With all my heart, was the soft response. A vocalist says he could sing 'Way down on the old Tar river, if he could only get the pitch. You may always know that a young lady has been to boarding-school by her want of education. Why is a lady's hair like the latest news? Because in the morning we always find it in papers. When is a wall like a fish? When it is sealed. Why is the letter U the gayest of the alphabet? Because it is always in fun. An editor retorting upon an opponent says: Now this is a matter of taste or rather of common decency and something with which we have nothing to do. It is estimated by a shrewd friend of ours that cheating and jockeying at horse-races .nie matters of ceurse. John you seem to gain flesh every day; the grocery business must agree with you. What did you weigh last?' Well Simon. I really forget, but it strikes me it was a pound of butter!' A man advertises for competent persons to untak the sale of new medicine, and adds that it will be profitable to the undertaker. A young man in these parts who had spent a littl; of his own time and a good deal of his father's money in fitting for the bar, was asked after his examination how he got along. O, well,' said he I answered one question right. Ah, indeed' said the old gentleman, with looks of satisfaction at his son's peculiar smartness, and what was that? They asked me what a qui tum action was' 'That was a hard one, and you answered it correctly did you?' Yes, I told them I did not know! Lewis what aid vou do with your new trousers,' said an anxious papa. 'I swapped them off.' For what?' 'A slung-shot, Hoyle's Games and the Pirates Own Book!' The last case of 'child lost' is related as having occurred down in Mobile, where a small boy walking with his mother wished to t hange position and get on the outside; but unfortunately he had such a distance to go to get around the lady that he lost his way and has not been found. A lady of Albany h is entered a complaint against a young man of that city. She charges the young gent with leading her from the path of rectitude!' The lady is 33 years of age, and the young gentleman IS. The shortness of life is very often owing to the irregularity of the liver! Two leading members of the bar were sitting opposite one another at the dinner table. One was describing the effects of a speech he made a few days before in a great political meeting. ' 'Indeed, said he, I never saw the people so filled with enthusiasm!' Filled with what' exclaimed the other? With enthusiasm.' Oh, ah, I understand,' said the other, 'but I never heard it called by that name before; we call it brandy and water! A doctor went to bleed a dandy who languidly exclaimed: 'O doctor, you're a great butcher. To which the doctor replied, '1 am used to sticking calves!' Booth, the tragediau, had his nose broken. A lady once said to him: 'I like your acting, but I can't get over your nose.' ' No wonder,' he replied, 'the bridge is gone!' There is a man in our town so lean that he makes no shadow ntall. A rattle snake struck at his leg sixteen times in vain ami then retired to his hole in disgust. He makes all hungry who look at him and where children meet him in the street, they run home and cry for bread! 'Come here you mischievous little rascal youV Wont yoa lick nie father?' No. Will you swear you wont?' Yes.' Then I wont come father, for Parson Atwoo l Savs he that swears will lie!'

Perilous Balloon Ride. An affair of this nature took place on the occasion of the last ascent bnt one of the celebrated and lucky aeronaut, M. Godard. Mr. Godarii took with him that day a his rc,j-ij)agnon du voyage, a wealthy private gentleman, who paid 1,000 francs for the privilege of sharing the perils of the voyasre. The weather oould not have been more propitious, and the balloon shot up rapidly to a consideradie altitude. What effect does that produce upon you?' fcsked Mr: Godard of his compan ion. Nothing,' said the latter laconically. 'My compliments U; you,' said Mr. Godard. You are the tirst that I have seen arrive at such an altitude without betraying some emotion.' Keep on mounting,' said the traveler with gravity supreme. M. Godard threw out some ballast, and the balloon ascended some five hundred feet higher. 'And now,' said M. Godard, 'does your hear beat?' Not yet,' replied hia companion, with an air bordering close to impatience. 'The deuce!' exclaimed M. Godard, 'you have, my dear sir, the most perfect qualifications to be an aeronaut.' The balloon mounted still higher; when 1,000 feet higher, M. Godard interrogated t . his companion

And now 9 'Nothing, nothing; not the shadow of a fear whatever,' answered the traveler in a tone positively discontented, and like a man who had experienced a profound deception. 'Goodness m! so much the worse then,' said M. Godard, smiling; I must renounce all hopes of making you afraid. The balloon is now hi-h enough; we are going to descend.' To descend!' 'Certainly; there would be danger in mounting higher.' 'That does not make the slightest difference to me; I do not choose to descend.' You! What?' asked G. 'I say I wish to ascend higher; leep on mounting. I oave one thousand francs in order toexperiei.ee soma emotion; I must do so, and will not do so until 1 have felt some emotion.' Godard commenced lo laugh, believing it all a joke. 'Will you ascend?' once moie demanded the traveler, seizing him by the throat and shaking him with violence; 'when shall beg-in to feel oiikF emotion?' M. Godard relates that at this moment he felt himself lost. A sudden revelation broke upon him regarding the strangely dilated eyes of hia companion; hs had to deal with a madman. If even the unfortunate icronaut had had any defensive weapon, ho would have been capable of defending himself; but it is not usual foi people to furnish themselves with pistols for a voyage in a balloon, and certainly one would not dream of meeting with a warlike encounter in the stars. The earth was 5,000 feet beneath most horri ble depth, 'and the movement of the now ferocious madman might cause the car to capsize. Ai. uodaru, with the presence of mind acquired by him in so many icririal voyages, made all these reflections in the short space of a second. Ah! ah! you are mocking me, my fine fellow,' continued the madman, without loosening his gripe. 'Ah, you think to rob me of 1,000 francs nn well as my emotion. Very well, be quiet. It's my turn to laugh now. ll'g you who are going to cut a caper.' The madman was possessed of pro-dio-ious muscular force. M. Godard did not attempt lo defend himself. What do you wish from me?' asked G. in a calm tone and submissive voic. 'Simply to amuse myself in seeing you turn a somersault,' answered the man with a ferocious smile. 'Uut first,' f the madman appeared to bethink himself.) 'I have my ideas. I wish to see if I cannot find some emotion up there. I must put myself astride on the emi-cirole.' The madman indicated with his finger the upper part of the balloon. Just in speaking, he commenced to climb along the chord which held the car attached to the balloon. M, Godard, who had not before trembled for himself ,now trembled foa the madman. 13 ti I, miserable man, you are agoing lo kill yourself; you will be seized with vertigo.' 'No remarks,' hissed the adman, seiz ing him again by the collar, 'or I will at once pitch you into the abyss. 'At least, observed M. uodard, "allow me lo put this cord around vour body, so that you may remain attached to the balloon.' 'Be it so, said the madman, who soemed to comprehend the utility of the precaution. This dono, furnished with hi cord of safety, the madman commenced to climb along the ropes with the agility of a sqiMi - rcl. Ho reached the balloon, and put himself astride the semi-circle, ft he said. Once there, he rent iho air with a shout of triumph, and drew his knife from his pock et. What are vou going lo do?' asked G., who feared that he might have the idea of ripping open the balloon. To make mysell comuriau.e lorthwith.' Utterintr these words, ilia madman cut slowly the cord of safely which M. Godard had attached to his body. With a single puff of wind to shako the balloon, the miserable creature must roil over the abyss, j M. Godard shuts his eyes in order that he may not 6eo him. The madman clap3 his; h inds, ho cannot contain himself with delight. He spurs the balloon with his heel, as if on horse back to guido hia flight. And now,' yelled forth tho madman, brandishing his knife, 'wo are going to laugh. Ah, robber, you thought to make

me descend. Very well. It's youare going to tumble down in a moment.' M. Godard had no time to make a single movement or put in a single word. Before he was able to divine the infernal intention of the makman the latter, still astiide the semi-circle, had cut oh horror! four of the cordages which suspended the car of the balloon. The car inclines horribly; it only holds by two it was by one cord, so slight do they appear. It would have been all over wih M. Godard if he had not graspod desperately the two remaining cords. The knife of the madman approachedjthe last cords yet a moment and all would be over. 'I do not ask for pardon; on the contraWhat is it you wish, then?' said the madman astonished. 'At this moment,' continued the aeronaut hurriedly, 'we are at tho height of 5,000 feet.' 'Stop,' said the madman, 'that will be charming to tumble dowu from such a height.' Yes,' said M. Godard, 'my experience as an aeronaut has taught me that death is not certain to ensue from a fall from that elevation. Tumble for tumble, I much prefer to fall from such a height as to be killed out ri-rht, rather than risk bein only lamed have the charity to precipitate me from a height of 9.00U feet. 'Ah, that will do,' said the madman, which the mention of a more horrble tall charmed amazingly. M. Go lard followed heroically Iiis purpose, and throws over an enormous quantity of ballast. The balloon makes a powferful bound and mounts 5JU leet in a few seconds. While the madman surveys this this operation with a menacing air, the reronaui thinks to accomplish another quio to the contrary. Tho quick eye of Godard had remarked that amongst the cords spared by the madman, figures the one leading to the valve. His plan is taken. He draws the cord; it opens the valve the upper part of the balloon for the purpose of allowing any excess of the hydrogen gas lo escape, atid the result which he hoped for, was not long in making itself apparent. Little by little the madman became drowwy, asphyxiated, and insensible by the vapors of tho gas which

surrounded him. The madman being sufficiently asnhysiated tor that purpose, M. Godard allow? the balloon to descend slowly to the ground. The drama is finished! Arrived on terra firma, M. Godard not having any hatred to the author of his perilous vovage, hastened to restore him to animation, and had him conveyed, hands and feet bound, to the neighboring station. A few years ago I'rof. of Bowdoin College, was overseer of the building of the High School House, in Brunswick, Me. In the collar of the same was a well, walled with brick, and whose sides were consequently smooth. One day, being left alone in tho building, he went down to the cellar, and in haste unconsciously attempted to walk over the well, and as unconsciously fell into it. Here was a predicament for any one possessing no more immortality thon a college professor; standing in iivo icei or water at me oottom oi a well sixteei? feet deep at the bottom of a deep cellar, with no soul in hearing distance ! After shouting himself hoarse, he bethought himself of a piece of chalk a remnant of the last recitation which he applied to the walls to solve his situation. The statement of tho question was lot j- equal how I shall get out: y equal depth of water; z equal distanceto the water and by means of his knowledge of algebra he actually worked himself out ot the well, wonderfully showing the power of mathematics. Value ol" Credit. Few men in business properly estimate the value of good credit. One man thinks that so long as he can obtain property up on a promise of fu'ure payment, he need not look atieror car lor anything more. If he can only get what he wants that is enough for him Ho soon finds out, however, much to his mortification, that he does not rank quite so high in the market as some of his neighbors. On reflection he makes up hiy mind that perhaps his private character is not what it should be, and thai this 'feature in his standing is being talked of in business circles. He may be good, it is said, bat 'touch him lightly,' for in due tim3 he will fall. Another man suddenly asks, 'What is the matter?' Ho discovers a want of cordiality among his 'old friends." Can it be possible, he says, that allowing a note to go to protest, under peculiar circumstances, has thus injured me? Now, It us be a little more minute, and illustrate this subject by introducing to our readers the following 'merchants from the interior,' all f whom, of course, slop at the St. Nicholas or ihe Astor, or at least smoke cigars on tho steps of these hotels. They severally apply to our 'leading firm' for credit. Here is their record. Mr. A , reputed to bo good, but "he drinks." Look out for him. Mr. B , worth 810,000; lives high and rides fat horses. Be careful. Mr. C , doing a large business, but is now and then found at the gambling table. Sell him for cash. Mr. D , reputed wealthy, but is engaged in all sortu of speculations. He may succeed and ho may not. Better watch him. Mr. K , a clever fellow, but cares so little about business that h'19 clerks have tho principal management of his affairs.--Ho vont do. Mr. F , may be good, but don't care a fig about his credit. Allows his bills to ijo to protest unheeded. Stand from under. Mr. Oan ugly, unprincipled fellow never will pay exchange anyhow. Thinks tho bills of tho Bangtown Bank of

Minnesota as "good as gold," and ought to pay his notes. Mr. II , always finds his goods 'damaged' or 'short;' must allow all his claims or he will quit you, (leaving behind his wrath and profanity) Watch him with spectacles. Mr. I , appears to be prospering, but there is no truth in him. He will tell lies in order to get a bargain, when the truth would ans ffer his purpose a great deal better Let him alone. Mi. K -, reported to be worth 819, 000, but there is no moral soundness in him from the crown of his head to the sole of his foot. Some day he will collapse like a puff ball. Touch him not. Now, we might go through the alphabet several times, and not then present all these doubtful cases to our readers. We have left off the catalogue those who do business on borrowed capital, those whose expenses are larger than their income, and a host of others, many of whom deserve

j a separate notice. Our special object is to call the attention of our business men to a very eimple question, viz: What constitutes the true basis of all credit? Is it money exclusively? Answer the question honestly. If you desire success, answer it. If you desire a clear conscience, answer it. Those 'wise and otherwise can apply this subject to their circumstances and position. To prevent all misapplication of the subject, we will say to the reader, we mean you personally. Taking it Coolly. At the late city election in Cleveland, the Democrats were defeated in the election of all their candidates only Sexton. The Plain Dealer thus glories over their victory: Engraving of the American flag, with the motto, 'We've met the enemy and we 're thours'' Victorious Viclorv! Till UM I'll A NT TIUUMl'H!! GREAT DOIN'S ! ! Democratic Sexton Democratic Dead Body Superintendent! Democratic Grave Yard Manag tr ! Democratic Cemetery Keeper ! Democratic. Grave Duger ! ! ! f GLORY GLORY GLOliY GLORY! It is our proud pleasure to announce lmU ,hc above important otlices are Demo cratic to the backbone. They are offices of very grave importance, and the onlyones we calculated on filling. The jjrave yards have been in the hands of the Republicans long enough. The Democracy determined to have tho management of the Cemeteries themselves. No good Democrats can be buried by a Black Republican sexton without shame and disgust. For one we would never consent to such a thing whether there was a drop of blood in our veins or not. The office of Sexton, then was what we battled for in this momentous canvass, and oar triumph has been at once majestic and brilliant. The city has been redeemed, and the Republicans would be ashamed of themselves if they hadn't long ago got over being ashamed of anything. Democrats needn't go away from home when they die hereafter to buried respectably Let the Black Republicans wince let them how! with rage we've got charge of their dead bodies ! The Mayorality and Marshalship, and other trifling offices they may have in welcome. They may have their Senterberry we mean their Cofiinter no, we mean their Crawberry no, wo don't exactly know what we do mean, but they may havo all of 'em it shall bo our proud duty and pleasure to bury them! Hereafter we shall regulate dead bodies in our own way, subject only to the Constitution of the United States. This is in accordance with the Kansas Nebraska William. This is Popularity Sovereignty. Bring out the Big gun ! 1 Let the Cannon roar ! ! Fetch forth the Male Fowl ! Let Bonfires be kindled on Scranton's Bottom ! 'We've met tho enemy, and we're thouis!' From the Cleveland Plaindealcr. Iii' tier from the Itinerant Showman. Baldixsville, Ixdv.,) Feb. 10th, 1859. j GknTz: Ime in a sad & sen?crnientul Mojd ternite. I thaw tat 1st Ide koutt the Muze k did so try to do. but the Muze retuzed to be kourtid it so me ihincs 111 let my thawts express themselves in Froze. fc speekin of kourlin remines me of how I wood t one Mrs. A. Ward, which Idessay will interest the readcis of yuro valerable paper. Twas a carm siill nitc in Joon, when all natur was hus'nt fe nary .effer disturbed the screen silens. I sot with th ohjck of my hart's affekshuns on tho fens uv her father'a pasttlt. I had esperiensed a hankerin arter her fur sum time but darsent perclam my pashun. Well, we sot there on tho' fense, a swingin our feet two Si frow tfe bluihin as rod as the Baldinsvilhs skool houses when it was fust painted it lookm very cimple I make no doubt. my left arm was ockupide in ballunsin myself on tho fense while my rite was wo und ed affeckshui ately round her waste. "-ez I, 'Suzanner I think very muchly of yu,' it I side deaply. Sez she 'How yu do run on. Soz I, 'I wish there was winders lo my soul soz you could see sum of my feolins.' I pawsed here, but as she maile no reply 1 continued in the follerin strane: Ar cood yer kn the sleeplis r.itesl pars on yore ackount, how vittlcs has seased to be attractive to me it how my lims have shrunk up, yu would nt dout me not by n means, gase on this wasted form and these sunkun ize,' I cride, jumpin up it shud have continued somo time longer probly, but unfortinly I lost my balluns it fell over into the pastur ker smash, lectin my close and severely damaging ginerally. Suzanner sprung to myaßsistunce it dragged me fth in double quick time. Then drawin herself up to her full hue, she scd:

I wont listun to your inftirnul nonsense no longar. Jut you say rite strate out what you air drivin at. -If ye mean gettin hitched. Ime in ! I considered that enough for all practical puposses & went to the parson's at lco and was immediately made 1. I've pact threw a great many tryin ordeels sins that memorable nite, but Mrs. A. Ward has been true as steal. By bein virtoos Ivc wun a repartashun fur honisty which few showmen, (alars, alars for the profession!) injoy ife by attendin strictly to bizinis I've amarst a tolerybul hansura competunsy, it my show is ekalled by a fu &

exselledby none, embracin as it doz a 1derful colleckshun of liviri wild Beests ifc snaix, a endlis variety of wax figgers of life size ifc the only traned Kangeru in Ameriky tho most amuzin little cuss ever introduced to a discriminatin publick. ik why am I sad? methincks I heer you ask, jentle ready. Becawz I feel that the show bisiniz, which Ive stroven to ornyment, i3 bein usurpt by Poplar lecturs, as they are kalled, tho in my opunon they air poplar numbugs. Eastern individiwals, mostly from Bosting, who git hard up, embark in the lecturiu bisnis. Thay cram theirselve9 with high sounding frazes, frizzle up their hare, git trusted for a soot of bla' k close it cum out Wet to lectur at 50 dollars a pop. They aint overstockt with branes. but they have brass enuf to make suffi$h ;nt kittles to bile all the sop that will be required by the ensewin sixteen genemshuns. People flock to hear em in krowds. The men go becawz its poplar it the wimmin fokes go to see what other wimin fokes hev on. When its over the lectur gose resales hisself with jnn it sugar, while the people say 'What acharrning lectur that air was,' etsettery. etsettery, when 8 out of ten of urn dont have no more idee of what the lecturer said than my kangaru has of thesevnth spear of hevun. Times more informashun to be got out of a well conducted noosepaper prico three cents than there is out of ten popular lectur at 25 or 50 dollars a pop, as the case may be. These samÄ peple, bare in mind, stick up their nosis at moral wax figures and sagashus beests. They say these things is low. Gents, it greeves my hart in my old age, when Ime in the 'sheer it yaller leef,' (to quote from my Irish friend Mister McBeth) to see that the Sho biznis is purty much pladeout. howsumever I shall chance it again in the Spring Ime negoshiatin with the last joory in the Hiram Cole ka3e, if kin git them remarkable livin curiositys I think I shall make a payin soson of it. Very Respectively Yurs, ARTEMUS WARD. Alphabetical Conundrum. Why is the letter A like a meridian? Because it ia the middle of day. Why is the letter B like 8 hot fire? Bocause, it mates oil boil. Why is the letter C like the ocean? Because it makes li e 'sea. Why is the letter D like a fallen angel? Because by associating with 'evil' it be comes a devil. Why is the letter E like the end of time? Because it is the beginning of eternity. Why is the letter F liko death? Because it makes all fill. Why is the letter 0 like wisdom? Because it is the beginning of greatness and goodness. by is the letter H like the dying words of John Quincy Adams? 'This is the last of earth.' Why is the letter I like the Arerican Revolution? Because it is the beginning of Independence. Why is the letter J like the end of spring? Because is the beginning of June. Why is the letter K like a pig tail? B it is the end of pork. Why is the letter L like a young lady giving away her sweetheart to another? Because it makes over a lover. Why is the letter M like the first glass of rum? Because it is ihe beginning of misery. Why is the letter N like a newly mar ried woman? Because it is the cud ot maiden. Why is the letter O like a courageous woman in disguise? Because it makes her a hero. Why is the letter P like two winds meeting? Because it makes air a pair. Why is the letter Q like a King? Because it is attached to Quoen. Why is the letter R like a treaty ratified? Because it is the end of war. Why is ihe letter S like the end of hogs? Because it is tho beginning of sausages. Why is thfl letter T like a victory? Because it is the end of conquest. W by is the letter U like fragrance? Because it is the center of 'bud.' Why is lit letter V like two extremes? Because it is the commencement of vice and virtue. Why is the letter W like a dying christian? Because it is the end of sorrow. Why is thd letter X like a scolding wife? Becavse it is cru3s. Why is the letter Y like sight? Because it is the middle of 'eye.' Why is the letter 7. like S? Because k iz (is.) A Mt. Vernon Association has beea started in California. jCfTMr.Morill, of Maine, has designate the twenty-first inst. as Fast Day in that State. jfcfT"A vein of iron ore has been found in the yard of the Clinton, New York, prison. XiTlt is rumored that Santa Anna will be again called lo the Presidential Chair of Mexico. -The Peach crop in Ohio and Kentucky premises to be an abundant yield this season.