Marshall County Democrat, Volume 4, Number 13, Plymouth, Marshall County, 24 February 1859 — Page 1

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VOL 4, NO. 13.

tors&aH :Louuf jt D cm o trat rt'St-ISHK EVERT THfRSDAT MOKXIXG, BT ' ' Iff eDOXAL .'& RROTIIER. . ! . 'TERM'S : If Paid iii Advance, SI, OO End of ix inontli , $1,.10 End orthcycar, ; 2,00 ' ÄirEltTISING: , One square (ten lines or les?,) three week?,. 100 K.ictt additional insertion, . . x Column three months. v. . , 5 00 J4 Column six month,. . '. . 8 Of) ' Ya Column one year,......... . .. . 12 00 ' ; , H Column three months, . . . . . 8 0 J Colnipn aixirontb?,. . .' '. ........ .15 00 Columrr one year,..;.......; ...23 00 1 Column three months, 14 00 Column six months, .24 00 l Col u 31 one year,... i ..45 00 Yearly adrertisers have the privilege of one hange free fcuarge. Legal Advertisements inserted at the above rates. Hereafter, Attorneys, ami other?, having legal notices published, will be held rcpposiblc for the pa j, miles otherww arranged. Dwsplaveti adrertliemcnls uri 'charged ftr the pace occupied bv them; measured by brevier lines Medical adrcrtUemenU at , the alxvc rstes to be paid for in advance. Unless otherwise ordered, advertisement will ' he inserted till forbbl and charged accordingly. BÄM ÖME Sl&ll li! .IIIIU1 BRANCH AT PLYMOUTH, IND. - '-f:S. ORGAN. Pres. 1 H. KARLY, '"Cashier " XT' ASTERN" EXCHANGE, Drafu c-. C ncin4 : ij nrti and Chicago. Gold and Silver, Lncur rest Money and I .and Warrant a , BOUGHT AND SOLD. , 0 Deposits Received and Money Loaned. ' U Exchange on Europe bought and aold. IO" Attention iven to Collections, and General-Banking Business Transacted. June 2J,;It;cJ. Jl; .. Ii- B-VjOICKSON &: CO. ' DEALERS VI ' 131 H. 3-"Vr JK DFL 3E3, of every description, also, . Stoves, Tin, S'teet-Ironand Copper Ware 6to14 ... .' PLYMOUTH, IND. CR. A. 0. BORTON j SURGEON DENTIST, HAS located iif Plymouth where he will bo prepared at all times, (Mondays and Tuesdays Tcepted) to perform all operations pertaining to the Dental profession. Special attention given to cleansing the teeth. Diseases of the mouth treated with success. Satisfaction will .be given to all who may favor him with a call. Y f a v w aia a .asuau y fcuauy j va t trBP firal kill dunr. miv D-GHlf. JI. COÄBI.X ' M. A. O. rGKAXD CORT3IX & PACKARD Attorneys and Counsellors at Law. Western Collection .Igcnts. PLYMOUTH, 1XD. Refer to - .' Akcclauas, Botctett, &CO-, N Y City; -- 1 JOHX LlVlXCSTOX, " Towx, Smith k Shildem, Detroit, Mich.; . l Srcoa, BtXDix &. co, Toledo, Ohio; M H Norton k co, Chicago, 111; Hon C .A'STAsf, Tecumseh, Mich; Hon Tkos S STa.xnELD, South Bend, Ind . ,iInoT5-51tf c. rjcrr.T CTTi . r.'.VT. 1 1 a: c. caprox. REEVE & CAPRON, , ,j PlmoutlrMarshall tunty, Ind, " Fractice" ixi MiVrshall 'and acljoining counties. REFER TO Bibcock It Co,' PI elps, Dodge k Co., N. Y. Cooley.Farwell k Co., Gould, & Bro. Chicago. ; Loadon & Co , Phiad., Graff. Öennett k Co:, Pitts. Hon. A. LTOsbon., Circ't. Judge, Laporte, Ind. BE. T. A. BORTOIT, - Physiciaa anflPSurgcon,Office over Pirshing Prag Store, in Dr. jA. O - Borten Dental Rooms, Michigan street, east side corner of Gano, wherd he rrjy be consulted dur. ine ofSce hours..- Dwellin.' tw6 doors north of the- " Court House, Center st. west side, Plymouth, lud. J. 6. OSBOR.-VZ... i7ii..D. T. FHI LLl T OSBORNE & PHILiIjIPS OFFICE First door nortkof Bovd's Furniture 1;YMOÜTH,, IND. Store. .Af:TXXiMAT i- Ii hi I7: r cr! Imdöle ,t,, - MAY 'iBIDDLE,-...,,:! Attorneys, BndCTsellors'at Law, Willi givejünai attenuon to Uie securing of lustü'-AJuuTTi and PxxsiaNS Pr?c- ' tie in Marshall jrihkad joining counties. , m . ,. , ' OSTce over I. Iioee & Co. a Drug Store, "corner East and South Uiin streets. Laporte, A'tgusi 13-Sljr. Iffialdwin Mouse? REMOVED! T. 33 AT T W XJXTy HAVING removed his tavern stand from the south side of the river, to the building lately . ocenpicby R. Corbably as a residence, nearly op posit e the Edwards House, i$ now- prepared to accommodate Jhia pld customers and the travclin public gcncrallyi His stabling and all other ,con 1 venienccs, shall not be inferior tcv'anystand in Nothern Indiana. Charges reasonable.' ! 1 " ' ' rlM6ef ': r i ihnedge Mouse : ( Within ,1 va mlivtet ' waH; of tiie . j)epptr) j dnd mar the Rivet Bridge .-: 7 . v SOUTft P LYMOUTH, IND; The rroprietoTöf'this Estäblishmen: rcWctfully inform the Traveling Public and otliers, tfcat, no is j new jrepar cd j to entertain them in t a ininer tiV,te inu, win pVe entire Mtlsfaction. His TABLE wilKbe fumi.i,. wk best iht thi.r Market anardaanl hi. -.BARN f iTay iuieu wun gooa rro Tenderand attended Vy an attentive Hostler, , . ; " Public patronage respcctrutlv wWcltcdI l z .' r, - l ::- "iJ '-f!'VIWWi?TnT Jon10,ie3a IHTKrFISH.Cod fijh and Mackcrel-a fresh supply kist received at . o53

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J. .T. -VIXAIX; rTOIEOPATHIC PHYSICIAN. Particular IJL i attention paid to Obstetric Practice, and CUironIc dicaa of Women, nnd diseases. of Children, i Otficc over Ü Palmer's store, corner, Michigan and Lnportc streets, where he can bo consulted at all Lours. l-3tf. Has a large stock of Watt'k AVindoAv Paper, nil qualities. at wholesale or retail; also window Shades and Curuin Fixtures, FORT WAYNE, IND. ar2G 1. : . , ; . .. DEALER IN k JEWELRY. Plymouth Ind.. '-' - ' KEEPS constantlv on hand Clocks, Watches, BREAST PINS, EAR RINGS, FINGER RINGS, LOCKETS, te., tc. . CCIocks, Watches, ic, repaired in the best manner possible. jan. 7 '58 7-tf. PAEKE11 T HOUSE, H. M. HOPKIISIS ..PROPRIETOR, LAPORTE, INDIANA. V. V AXTELL, Cleric. . jul3 331y WARSATT MARBLE WORKS: W. 11. UNDERHIIjL, . (Successor to Underbill & Co.) ' Manufacturer k dealer in American & Italian MONUMENTS, TOMB-STONES, Counter Stands, Bureau Tops, &e.? WARS A W, IND. ITOiders from a distance will receive prompt t-ntion, and satisfaction guarantied. " " tt A.BOYD, Agent, Plymouth, Ind. marll-lCtf BJacksmithing none Cheaper Than Ever! It having been reported that I. hare "shut np Shop," I take this method of informingnny friends and the public, that I am still on h md, and expect j to be lor a long time yet, at CHAPMAN'S- ASHtKY. . . I will shoe hordes witV nrw Shoes round for ONE DOLLAR in Cash-Mid do . other work att low in proportion, and in a worVmnn like m inner, J. W. HARRIS. .;;Norcmbcr;4rh,ltf?. 4 .. ,:.x,- - 50m3. New JEWELRY Store. '"The subscriber would respectful in form tiie citizens of Plymouth, Marshall and adjoining cou'ntics, tlwt lie I. . . I n . CiN- Iias opeuni a new siock oi all the s diflcrent kinds of "WatcliesJ CUGKS, JEWELRY . FATO.'..' GOOD'S AND 'KT O T I O 3J" S i ueneraiiy kept in a first class Jewelrv Stored T'u. UooIsare ot the Litest Stvles,best quality and will be sold at Nt-w York prices. Btinga practical Jeweler, be solicits a ahare cf public pattonajre. . , Room No. 2 Pershing's block. ' ' ! ! ADOLPH . MYERS dec23-41y ' : -.1 - I V, NOTICE - i : . Tlie regular, meetings of the Board of Trustees of Center township, 'will be heldon the first Sat urdiyin each month, at the court .house -in Plymouth. . M. A. 0. PACKARD. Clerk . . mr m 1 rm ... ... TIPPECANOE FLOUR. ARRANGEMENTS have been made to supply the Plymouth market with this flour, and the genuine can be found at Patterson k Cleaveland's and Palm er , r j i N. B. k P. ÖALLEMAN k Co. se t.4-45tf ,f r. i j . , ... ; ' J. H. OASE, ÜTJJSTICE OF THE PEACE UTAS moved his office one doör north of Pierce' .V'X .v-IoUung store, near the Dcmocratprintin office, on Michigan street, where he will giv prompt ntion to all claims entroste d to him fo collection, . ra Justice of the peace or in high er courts. Ta. "ing kc, promptly attended to Plymouth, Ind , a ;pt. 9. 1 853-42tf. ' ' ' 1 1 üjoIis JinV.StniiDitcr! 4 'kl1 -'C: l; iitll, . ' 1- ' ! I W"L? 3 L1C A5U) RETAIL DIALERS IM . ( )3ÖbKSi& St AT IÖNERY ; OF EVERY DESCRIPTION! - :. Calhoun Street,'. Ft.; VAYNE IND. EBook,, Bindery !! ! hill;' : ' !- w' ."''z. ' ''' ' ' ft . Womd inform the citizens of Plymouth and vicinity, tnat they afc prepared to manufacture ; Blank ;!Books,',df 'every "descHption: ft-VplNQ POKS, .PEfUODICALS, SlC; Connty Officers are especially requested to rive thematrtal.c - , (fr, TT LANKS OF EVERY JLJPrinted to order at this Office. We h. DESCRIPTION vc a Justices Öuboenas, Executions, Summoiw. r.nr' for )f Judgment?, Nothry Publle Protests, kc which j.we will sell at thousnkl rates foe nsh.! ' .! SIlAVillG, 'HA!H!)3SSlfjG aWT . Shampooing Saloon, . One docr so'utli of the Edwards House, up, stairs, where the suriber is ready at all times, during business hojirs, to do up Shaving, Iair5 cutting kc, In less time and better style than ever before know n ia this vicinity; and be hopes tint hereafter, by' ä sct a)tcnt,(m xobjines3,to merft a liberal pattronage lVoni the citizens generally. c aug.i-tf,,- . , ,

SWATCHES. CLOCKS

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PLYMOUTH, INDIANA, THURSDAY,

.ut.t'n.l:;i.tjr'; . For the Marshall County Democrat. j' The . Bustedi Hoops. A Modern Rail Road Accident done up in Rhyme. " 'Twas just one month ago to-day, ' ' While riding on the ears, - A lady fair to- mc did say, . ' Oh, what a shocking nois! ; . .. 'Twas whack 1 whack! whack! We're off the track, Oh, dear, w hat shall I do! ' 1 My bonnet's jaram'd, my dress is torn; My hoops have busted, too! , That lady fair still mourns the day , . . , , , Thatsherode on a rail; ' ( She tore her dress and broke her hoops, And lost her green silk vail. ' ... . i . . ' . Patrick HemyJ . . jVery littlo' h known of .the most eloquent orator of our'revolutionary history, one who derived all his power from orig ional geniousand the study of nature and men, and had no acquaintance with books. The following sketch of his character and habits Mr Webster receired from Mr Jeffer son, and is found in the recently publish ed volumes of. Mr Webster's correspond ence: ' , , . Patrick Henry wa origionally a bar keeper. He was married very young and going into some busines, was bankrupt bei - .... j lore the year was out. When I was about the. age of fifteen, I left the school her to go to the College at . Williamsburgh. I stopped a few days at a friend's in the county of Louisa.,, There I first saw and became acquainted with Patrick Henryk Having spent the Christmas holidays there I procefcded to Williamsburg. 'Some questions arose about my admission, as my preparatory studies liad not been pursued at the school connected with that institution. This delaycd'rny admission about a fortnight, at which lime Henry appeared in Williamsburg, and applied for a license to practice' law,' having commenced the study of it at or subsequently to"tba time of my meeting him in Louisa. There were four examiners Wythe. Pendleton Peyton Randolph and John Randolph. Wythe and Perdieton at once rejected his application. The two Randolphs, by his importunity, were prevailed upon to sign his license; and having obtained " their sinatüresi he 'applied again to 'Pendleton, and at er much entreaty, and many promises of future - study, succeeded, in obtaining his.' He. then turned out for a practicing lawyer: ' The1 first" case which - brought him into notice was a contested election, in which he appeared as counsel before the committee of the House of Burgesses. His second was the Paraons case, already well-known. - These and similar, efforts soou obuiuod.fji- Uim So much reputation that ho was elected a member of-the Legislature. He was as well auited to the times as any .man, ever was, and it is not now easy to say what we should have done without Patrick Henry. . He was, far be-. fore all in maintaining the . spirit of 4he I Revolution. His influence was most extensh'e with the members from, the upper counties, and his boldness and their votes overawed and controlled the mort"cool or - ' .-,: ':- the more timid aristocratic irentlemen . of i . j o -i i . i , . , . the lower part of the Stat?. His cloquence was peculiar, if indeed it could bo called eloquence, for lt was impressive and sublime beyond what can be imagined. Although it was difficult,' wlien he had spoken, to tell what' lie had sald yet while lie was speaking, it " always seemed directly to;the point. ' When he had spoken in opposition to rny opinionhad prod icetl a a great sensation, and I myself, been Jolighted and moved, I have asked 'myself, when, he ceased, 'What ,hss; he said?' I couli never answer the inquiry .Ills person was of full size, aud his: manner-and voice free and manly. His. utterance was neither very fast nor very . slow.. . II is speeches generally, short-from a quarter to half an hour. . . .;.i,T fi't , r ;: fT :;. I-. , He was a man of rery little knowledge of any sort; he read nothing and, had no books. Returning one November .Xrom Albermarble court, ' he ' borrowed of me Hume's " Essays5 iu two volumes, saying he would have'leTsure' in the winter for reading: ' In Spring fii'returne'd them, and declared he 'had not' fceen:abfe "td go further thari twenty! or thirty pages iii the firstjVolumei- He -vrote almost nothing' he could not write. ;TLe resolstions of '75, which have been w supposed to have been written by Mr Johnson, who acted. ft his second on that occ:asioy; but. if. they ; were written by Mr Henry himself, .they, were not such as ta prove any power of. oompofeitiön. '!NeitTier in politics nor in his professicfcv.V1 Jio ft) iriJjmanU i His-biographer. stys thatY h .lead Plutarch every year.nI'doubt.whether.he ev'er.read a'volunw ;of it in his life. ; His temper was excel fyo t, And;; h f , gene rally observed decoru m hi debate, t; On on vortwa iOLasions I have eeen.htm angry, and: ihüt nger was lerrfble,.thos who wkn eased . it ; we' re-not ' - disposed to rou6e i; again. In, his opinions he was yielding and practicable,1 and not disposed to differ from his friends. In

t A I. wooas.oi r luvennn, . Tvun overseers and people of that discription,- li ing in camp for a fortnight at' a time without a'chane of raiment.' I have often been astonished at his command of proper language; how he obtained a knowledge of it, I never could find out, as he read so little and conversed so little wi;h edncated men. ' : '. After all, it must be allowed that he was our leader in the measure of the Revolution in j Virginia. In that respect more was due to him than any other person. If we had not had' him we should probably have got on pretty well, as you did, by a number of meu, of cearly ; equal talents; but he left us all far behind. His biographer sent the sheets of his work to me äs they were printed, anil at the end asked for my opinion. I told him it would be a question hereafter whether his work sho'd be placed on a shelf of history or panegyric. It is a poor book, written in a bad taste, and gives so imperfect an idea of Patrick Henry, that it eeems intended to show off.the-writer more than the subject of the work. - t Speech, of Mr. Choate. The following extract is ftom the truly eloquent speech of Rufu. Choate, at the Celebration of Webster's birth-day, at Boston,on the 18th ult.:J He Webster loved New Hampshire that old- granite world; the crystal' hills, gray and cloud-topped; the river, whose murmur lulled Iiis cradle; the old hearth stone; the grave of fathtr and mother. He loved Massachusetts, which adopted and honored hir.i tha sounding sea-shore. that charmed elm tree seat, that reclaimed farm, that choice herd, that smell of earth, that dearer library, those dear friends; but the .'sphere of his duties was his true country Dearly . he loved you, for he was grateful for the open &rmt with which you welcomed the stranger, and sent him onwards and upwards--But when the crisis came, and the winds were all let loose, and the sea of March wrought and was tempestuous,' then you saw that he knew- even you only as you were, ( American citizens; then you saw him rise to the true nature and stature of American citizenship; ihen yon read on his! brow only what he thought cf the whole Republic, then you saw him fold the robes of his, habitual patriotism around him, and counsel for all for all. .1 So, then, he served you ?io be pleased with his services is your affair, not his . And now what would he do. what would he say if he were here to day? ' I do not presume to know. . But what a los we have in him! 1 - I have read that in some hard battle, whenMhe lide was running against him, and his ranks were breaking, some one iu the agony of a need of generals'nip, exclaimed. O, for an hour of Dundee! :' So; say . I, O. for an hour of Webster, now : . (i. ' . : i : O, for one more roll of that thunder inimitable! . ; f ' : One more peal of that clarion! I One more grave' and: bold counsel of moderation! - One more. throb of that American feel ing! ,;.- - ' .rl.iOnoKore Ctrewell address!. And then might he ascend unhindered to the bosom of his Fathor. and his God. . - rr But this is a vain wish, and I can only offer you this sentiment . ? , ;'Th Birth Dayof Webster: Then best, then only well celebrated when it is given as he gave marvellous brain- that large heart and that glorious life to our country: oui whole country; our united country A Plucky Preacher. ; . 4 1 1 . 'A .Methodist preacher,: well known for his. uncompromising hostility to'sll intoxicating drinks, had made an appointment la preach in a neighborhood, notorious for its intemperance. , It was generally understood that his remarks were chiefly tOibe directed; against.-the besettingsin of the district in which he was; to; preach, and several , noted bullies" had given out .that thejrr in tended to whip him jf. he touched on what, they -mean should t forbidden ground. The jday appointed for the preach ing arrived, and the .preacher appeared on the stand. A large number of his. friends from '.he adjacent ,districtsr. hearing, of nh threats against him, had . come tq the. meeting in order, if necessary, to. protect him from violence; but tho preacher had no intention that any.pf Ijis friends should .fight on his account, as, he. was able to do, his own fighting. Accordingly, on mounting uu.'A 7ii..97;nv.i.;t.-. ''Ui Ml . the Stand, he .had thrown ; qtf.his coat and roiicd up bis, shirt sleerea, disphyinglthe arm and chest of , Hercules.- . .Ii He said he heard that" there were set er-

private; conversation he jWas agreeable and facjtioua audj while in genteel society, appeared to understand all the decencies and proprieties of it; but in his heart, he preferred low society, and sought it ; as often a$ possible, ;. He.wonld hunt in the pine

FEBRUARY 24 1859

al men present .wIki threatened to .whip him; that he had mariy.friends present who were able and wiling to protect him.1 He said that he did not like fighting, but that if there must be fighting on his account, tie would, rather do it himself than have Ins friends fiffht for him. and that as he did not wish the sevices interrupted, he would prefer that it should take place before the meeting'was opened. 'And therefore, said he, 'if there is a man here who thinks he can whip me and intends to try it, if he will have the goodness to step forward I will flax him out with a? much ease as I now lift brother Smith;' saying which he seized a preacher who stood by his side, and who was a small sized man, by the watsband If the breeches, and lifting him from the ground, held him out at arm's length with one hand. This exhibition of physical strength prevented any demostration on the part of his enemies, and the meeting proceeded without interruption. ;, Books and their Influence. How many, homes are destitute and void of those treasiues homes, too, where are displayed all the little gewgaws and trinkets to attract the eye. Often have we entered the parlor of those in middling circumstances, where every stand, side-table or shelf, some weak-minded -person's taste displayed, but in the way of books not one was to be seen. Parents, many of them having large families, are likewise bereft of these valuable companions, save in many instances, the family Bible, and the torn and scribled ' school-books of their children. Did they only know that by select ing a few or well chosen assortment of books, and from lime to time making addition, a handsome library might be form ed, which should be within the reach of all, and that many a wild, roving boy might be kept from the streets, and from mingling with the pernicious influences which invariably must surround him. ' Books, to an inspiring mind, have a charm, a facination that never tires; they take hold of thought and enchain you within their precincts, and by cultivating this taste it moulds and softens their very nature, as well as adding information at the 6arae time. Strange as it ay appear, we form an opinion at'once of a' family where we see no books around -it is to us like a garden where are no flowers a space filled and choked up with weeds; therefore, we sav to those who are lacking and deficient of thesft invaluable ornaments, by all means and without delay make'your selections, for home without them is beamless, a day without sun. i ' A Cure for DRUXKExxEss.Dr Beck, of Dantzic, has jusi made a curious discovery. He , has found an antidote, or rather a. counter-poison for ardent spirits. It is a mineral paste, which he encloses in an olive, and which, " once absorbed, destroys' not only the rising effect, but likewise the disastrous consequences of drunkenness. ' Ho tried several experiments on a Pole, an irreclaimable drunkard. The individual, named Radeveil, swallowed three bottles of braudy in succession, and after each bottle, ate an olive prepared by the doctor. Ho experienced neither the effect of drunkenness nor the slightest sickness. jt5TA Milford, N II, 'Correspondent of the Journal, writing of the fuueral -ervices of the late Judson J. Hutchinson whose melancholy suicide at Lynn we chronicled not many days ago alludes very feelingly to his life and death, and remarks, "As, we stood. in the house he had built, overlooking the. country for miles around, and saw what he loved so well,' and beheld upon the walls' the pic ures ho 'loved to gaze upon,' gmong 'them' that of Wendell Phillips. Parker, and other; men of mark, we could read out , of tho ry walls and landscape some pages of his deepest and truest life. ' : ll ' ' Pitying hearts and strong hands hare done the offices of charity, friendship and love; , and one voice of true melody is hushed now. All tho day before he died he was sing- . t r. -. " r. ' 4.-. .-.. : i f ing a piece, wnico, commences inHSy--, : jiarKr I tiear an angel sing; ' AnrAla nnv in nn I i the wiugj And their voices sounding cleir. Yell us that the spring is near.'-' RrMAitKADix TEETir.-One of tbo ma6ons engaged on the railway, at Atmmiater, in England, is Ihe proprietor of remarkable teeth. 1 Each tooth is i double one, and Ke thinks nothing of biting ia twb a piece of iron half anjnch thickl ."With bis. teeth alone he ha lifted a hogshead. of ciaer, six mcnes rrora .me ground; and it is quite an amusement to1 him to crack a pebble between his teeth, as easflr as sonie of iKe best of us' can fcVäcl" ja nut. ' a ( II i p '' Doctor, f said!i'a .y6nhsr .miss of the .higl-heeled5 ! mo'desty school.'Ma sent xne to tell you that Erster .Cordelia Maria Jjulcy Louisa Rhoda Jane has got a sore above the writ Of ber ieft foot. J- -;'-

Pistols for Two. A Oalaway gentleman once entered a coffeehouse in London and called for tt.-a. His brogue attracted the attention of a scented civilian in the opposite box, who, relying upon his superior accent, resolved to have a jest at the expense of the stranger. ! '' The civilian called for tea also. Tue Irish gentleman called for , müßins, so did the civilian, toast, milk, sugar, dc, were severally called for by the fop, who enjoyed in his corner the supposed embarrassment to wLjo'i he was subjecting the gentleman from Gala way. . At last, with the greatest composure, and, if possible, with a richer brogue, the Irishman demanded the waiter to 1 Bring up pistols fcr two!' This wai a stretch in the performance by no means in the fop'a programme, and rather beyond what he had bargained for; so like a well-bred dog, walked down the stairs for fear of being kicked.

Seeing the Elepiiaxt. When Cousin i Ichabod first saw him' at the show, he exclaimed, with route astonishment Then that's the reel managerer the identical critter itself! Wouldn't tew on cm make a team to draw stun with. Ain't he a scorger!" Ichabod went homo and related what he had seen. I seed, said he, 'the genewine managerer the biggest lump of flesh that ever stirred. ..He had two tails, one behind, t'other before. Philosophers call, the fore one a pronobeius. He put one of his tails into my pocket and hauled out all the gingerbread every hooter. What d'ye think he done with it? Why, ho stuck it in his own pocket, and began to fumble for more It is generally considered that a man lias a right to steal a kiss or an umbrella when ever he has a chance. Why are editors like chickens? Because they have to 'scratch' Tor a living. It has been ascertained that the man who 'held on to the last,' was a shoemaker A hotel and livery stable, keeper, at a fashionable watering place, advertises sociables for young people, and sulkies for married folks. - A celebrated metaphysician being asked 'What is matter,' answered, 'Never mind,' and 'Whites mind?' 'No matter What is the difference between a good soldier and a fashionable lady? Ans: One faces the powder and the other powders the face. I'm getting fat as the loafer said, when he was stealing lard. Beauty nipped in the waist is liko a roso nipped in the bud. Self-respect is the noblest garment we can clothe ourselves in. Why is a minister like a locomotive? We have to look out for him when the bell rinS. It is very unhealthy to fall in love with another man's wife. ; In Arkansas, this kind of thing usually terminates in 'death the first year. Why is, a drunkard like a bomb-shell? Because the moment he is out of reach he is on a bust. In a village school, recently, when the the scholars were parsing, the word waif occurred m tho sentence. The youngest who was up, a bright eyed little fellow, puzzled over the word for a few minutes, and then, as a bright idea struck him, he burst out with 'I can conjugate it: Positive waif, comparative wafer, superlative, scaling wax" ; An exchange paper asks why the Atlantic cable is like a turnip? . Because the thing never was beet. (Chorus of groans from indignant readers.) ... :'Be .'collected,' as the printer said to the huge batch of old newspaper t bills, vat wasn't paid, lying scattered over his desk. ; The man wko took our advice has just brought it back again. . , An artist painted a cannon so naturally the other day, that, .when he finished the louch hole, it went off. , A friend accounts for ft by sayingYhaVit was taken by tlie fcherrff. ST'I say; Sambo, docs ye know de key to de: prosperity ob de Souf ? -Key to de prosperity ob: de Son f? big words Juno; f guess you must hab been'eatin massa's dicksh unary. Golly, I learned nuff to answer dat. Well; chile, txs de dar key." ' ; If a lady yawns half dozen times in sucessioD, young man, you may get your hat. It has been well said of the horn -of scolding wife, that .'it's a bad house where the hen crows louder than the cock v ' Every man has just . so much vanity as he lacks understanding. '''-

WHOLE NO. 169

A little boy upon whorahis mother was inflicting personal chastisement said: 'Giv me two or three licks more, mother, I don't think I can behave good yet Pleading at the bar,' sajt a western editor, 'is trying to pursnade a bar-keeper to trust you for a three-cent nipper Thi speaker that pursued a subject got a bad tumble on a pile of bricks, and the subject escaped into the bushes. To cure the tooth-ache-run over your foot. -let an omnibus. A boot-jack, like a sore Enger, has to be healed. The man who shot Time oti the wing lias renewed his age. A pawnbroker is like an inebriate; he takes the pledge but cannot always keep it. A physician of the Chicago jail says ipecac is a jure cure for delirium tremens. At Indianapolis, Said Lane to McCarty, Let's travel my hearty 1 o journey the twain did agree. At Washington, Said McCartv to Lane. Let's get home again In each of their ears is a flea. Slichtlt Personal. At the close of the sitting of the House of Representatives at Springfield, Illinois, last week, tho Clerk read the following: I am requested to announce that Rev. Dr Mc.Farland will deliver a lecture this evening in this Hall, on the 'Education of Idiots RepMUican members of the Legislature are invtted to attend., XThe Louisville Courier announces the story of a planter near tint city selling his own daughter, 'a canard of tb first water An exchange- says that n party at a country town was lately visited by the following persons: Two Miss Understandings, three Mis? Takes, Misa Managements, Mis3 Conducts. Miss D. Meanor, Miss B. Havior, Miss Fortune, and Mr Phillip Buster. It must have been a happy gathering. As we approve of the youth who has something of the old man in him, so we are no less pleased with an old man that has something of the youth. The last return of the army ßhows that Austria cm bring into the field about 427, 000 men. Madam de Fay, a sportng lady, recently won $30,000, being a . bet made oa a favorite horse. Duelling of a journalistic origin continues in vogue at Pari. Figaro has had two moro on his handü, which makes the fourth within six month, including that of M de Pene, not to mention a dozen of be1 ige rent missives amicably settled. The government of Holland have decreed that the ports in the island of Java, Summatra, Borneo, tc, shall be open to the trade of tho world from the first day of May 1859. Foot expressed the belief that a certain miser would take tho beam out of his own eye, if he knew he could sell the timbtr. We would educate the whole man the body, the. head, the heart: the body to act, the head to think, and the heart to fell . We would make the same use of a book that a bee does of a flower: sha steals tho the sweets from it, but does not injure it. True eloquence consists in saying all that is necef sary and nothing more. . . - Why was the first day of Adam lifo the longest?. Because it had no Ere. A good citizen is a peacemaker. A bull in a china shopis a a piece-maker too. it- "..- Persons who stand on ceremony have precarious footing. The 'Ocean .of Love is not always a Pacific Ocean. Why is loTelike a growing potato? Be cause it eprings from the eyes. ...... When a manikin distress, a breath may complete his ruin. IT A young lady.in answer the qxicstwu, what is a man? Bays; , A thing to waltz witht Ja thing to flirt with, to take one to places of amusement, to lavgh' at te be married to, to pay one's bills, to keep one comfortable that's so. . : . . .. . ..... " ' S , Mr Davis of Mass gave notice that he sbouldmore to strike 'purchas "ut'cf the Cuba bill and insert UAke " - - Gen Goggin is the Whig nominee for Governor of Virginia.