Ligonier Banner., Volume 84, Number 29, Ligonier, Noble County, 27 July 1950 — Page 7

Thursday, July 27, 1950

« MAGATINE PAGE -

BROADWAY AND MAIN STREET Saw Some Saucers, Says Rose; He Wasn't in His Cups, Either - By BILLY ROSE —————————

At the risk of being laughed out of court and countenance, I'd like to report that I've seen flying saucers. It happened on a clear and moon-minus night two summers ago in Newton, Conn., on the lawn of the home belonging to Paul Osborne, the playwright. Among my fellow oglers were Paul and his wife, Director Josh Logan and his missus, and Author John Hersey and his. What's more, none of us was in his cups the night we watched the flying saucery.

The show began about 10 p.m. while we were sitting outdoors, enjoying and shooting the breeze, and

the first thing we noticed were several searchlights some miles away poking their yellow fingers into the sky. A few minutes later, three bits of celestial chinaware skittered into view, and from then until midnight they skipped and scam-

T o N e 5 o r b ey e B S 3 ‘>'§w e R e R 23 3’%“%,. : e S A R SR e BT - e e B S, AL R i) "'s>'¢'§"é.‘ Ry . Billy Rose

pered above our bewildered heads. As nearly as I could judge, these whatzises were at least 200 feet. in diameter and were flying at an altitude of -from 3,000 to 5,000 feet. Their edges gave off a ghostly glow, very much like blue neon tubing seen through a heavy fog. & * * WHEN THE SEARCHLIGHTS finally cut off and the discs got lost in the stars, we put what was left of our heads together and decided that what we had witnessed must have been some kind of hush-hush military exercise. We also decided that, if we didn’t want a butterfly net slipped over our heads, it would be smart to keep our lips zipped about the whole thing. How come, then, that with my bare face hanging out in print, I'm spilling the story now? Well, until recently the talk about the persnickety pancakes has been more loose ‘than lucid—according to some writers, they were manned by Martins two inches tall; according to others, by Russians two droshkies wide..

Recently, bowever, documentation bas begun to replace delirium, and it's becoming evident that the overgrown manbole covers are not only real, but, despite all denials, one of the top-

secret weapons of our own navy . i and air force. ¥

The most convincing testimony was offered April 3rd by Henry J. Taylor on a General Motors broadcast over the ABC network. Taylor, after treking all around the country and talking to people who had seen, touched and even flown these cred-

HISTORIC MOMENT Continued from Page 2 such preparation. It is better to spend a few billion dollars to stop a war than ten or twenty times as many billions —perhaps, even, all that we value in our civilization—to win a war. :

We may look to the immediate future with sad hearts. How much more

MARY WORTH’S FAMILY

__—*-w e ] ARE YOU MEETING ANY { ag USUAL, AUNT /| INTERESTING MEN AT THE JMARY, THEY'RE Ag:egn;me AGENCY, T EITHER MARRIED- - ICK ?¢ | 4 S OR ELSE [T’ —~4——| ( paiNFuLLY EVIDENT | . WHY THEY'RE NOT! e, A,._,‘\ , ! &eyN ) e { a 2 1l & AN /b > . l oA - ‘

KERRY DRAKE

---AND NOW FOR A LITTLE SWEET SENTIMENT, KIDS !.. OLE D.DY. MAY SOUND LIKE A BUG-SPRAY, e BUT HE'S REALLY A WEAVER OF : ; DREAMS /.. JUST SHUT YOUR TIRED & LI'L EYES, LADY-- AND LISTEN j TO A PLATTER OF “LONELY {é BABY'S LULLABY”... y\\ S e NS p 4? L 7 ’{Qpﬁi 59T, I\ ‘“" : : | A 5 N\ o oo gol F N lEREE = ( 7 — @I SN e 4 J\‘ FSAE I {’[{fv;:b i) : ) A - 7~ A ()

ulity-cracking craft, made the following flat and unfrivolous statements about them: : , One type of saucer is the ‘‘true’”” disc, which ranges anywhere from 20 inches to 200 feet in diameter, ' is unmanned and generally guided by some form of remote control The other is a jet-driven platter which carries a crew and is capable of such supersonic speeds that in flight it looks like a hundred-foot flaming cigar ® . & FURTHERMORE, according to Henry J., a ‘‘true’’ disc was actual ly photographed near Wildwood, N. J.; another was found in the vicinity of Galveston, Texas. and stenciled on its surface was the following: MILITARY SECRET OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMFERICA ANYONE DAMAGING OR REVEALINGDESCRIPTIONOR " WHEREABOUTS OF THIS MIS SILLE IS SUBJECT TO PROSECU"TION. BY THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT. CALL COLLECT AT ONCE. (Then a long distance telephone number, and the address of a U.S. Air Base. and finally the "words on the ‘“saucer’” in big, black letters: NON-EXPLOSIVE.) “T know what these so-called flying saucers are used for,”” Taylor concluded “When the military authcrities are ready to release the information it will be a joy to tell you the whole story, for it is good news—wonderful news.”

Well, 1 don't know what the saucers are for, but on the basis of this and other reports—plus the evidence of my own bugeyes — I'm convinced they exist and, praise the Lord and pass the ammunition, are owurs. Moscow papers please-copy. : I wrote a column recently about the bureaucratic blabbermouths in our nation’s capital who, at the drop of a daiquiri, blurt out top military secrets to anyone who will listen. Well, 'm plenty happy to learn that—at least as regards one vital weapon—there are some folks in Washington who not only know their beans but can keep from spilling them. ;

cause for rejoicing there! would be if the dispute be-‘ tween the two main systems of human society could be settled according to which could do the most for its citizens, which could house its people best, feed them best, make the best use of their energies and their initiative, raise them to the highest levels of intelligence, enable them to live the most happily

THERE'S ONE ESPECIABLY © IRRITATING SPECIMEN: -MIKE MASO . “THE ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE I A WORK WITH!'---CONCEITED!- - - IIL BET THE RUG 15 THREADBARE IN FRONT OF EVERY MIRROR IN HI6 APARTMENT 4 i : ' g . y /M - | -~

I'M SORRY YOU WERE O.DT? WELL ANNOYED, CHIEF ! SOME OF NAMED, SANDY / THE OFFICE HELP HAVE SLIPPED \HE CERTAINLY INTO THE HABIT OF LISTENING SOUNDS TO THAT DISC JOCKEY, PARRYL /POISONOUS! . POWNBEAT TURNER, OR puntfilie. o “P.P.Te, AS HE CALLS e 7 = HIMSELF ! . ST gl ‘&/ \L s ‘rw?:ﬂ’wﬁg R eI R e W Wi ﬁ'_»-‘-—" |. 4 (;[,’ ”"I‘ Y '7{ R lE\! () 2R i A \{' S = 4 @V\r/ : j iz ‘t” e :ﬁ\ ‘V} 1 I :

\ @{' \' C »:“" S BY WALTER SHEPHERD (Walter Shepherd, a Detroit corporation lawyer, has found that his office attracts people with all kinds of problems. As guest-col-umnist, he writes about what is certainly one of the most unusual hobbies in the world.) This isn’t my hobby. It’s the hobby of a friend of mine who wants to be a writer. He has fallen in love with Roget’s Thesaurus. In case you never heard of it, Roget’s Thesaurus is a sort of dictionary of words with similar

meanings, This friend of mine, in his passion to increase his vocabulary, has memorized most of the words. I don’t know how his ine creased vocabe ulary has helped him,

s g: Ts S > O BSE . . Bs e L S A s s ,::/z X, % % 55:::::"::. (o R % I B g %"g R R B B e o SRR C R e S B iy .. B S SR AB o . e % B i i R G S i A T 5 B A R B B b K 4 sh G B I Walter Shepherd

but it has certainly confused his friends. When he talks now, he sounds like a broken record. He says: . “Isn’t this a charming, delightful, enchanting, cheerful, gay, stimulating, titillating, refreshing, niceday ?”

When he started all this, those of us who see him frequently thought he had gone mad.

We worried about his wife’s reactions' to it all, She was’ quite philosophic.

“What can I do?” she said. “I just sit back and let him rave on. I've made a game of it. I anticipate his words and see if I can catch him leaving any of them out. The other day, he was ripping through ‘obtain.” He left out ‘glean,’ and [ told him. He was so crushed, he didn’t say a word for three hours. [t was sheer heaven.”

I risked telling him the headaches he was causing, and I needed a double Sal Hepatica by the time he finished with: é S

“How can ycu censure, criticize, disapprove, denounce my efforts, attempts, endeavors, trials, exertions to improve, lift, elevate, better advance myself ? I thought you were my friend, pal, chum, comrade, buddy, confrere, side kick, bedfellow, crony.” /

All this has influenced his writing, and his scripts are now five times longer than they used to be. They also come back from editors five times faster; and that, of course, is very sad, unfortunate, regrettable, lanrentable, miserable. But I'm glad.

and freely! We of the free nations would accept such a challenge and glory in it! That opportunity is not offered us. ' —New York Times. . * % % MUSINGS OF AN EDITOR | Continued from Page 1 I visited Mr. Koester’s miracle garden on Morrison Island last week and convinced

; - - g — HE'S A BIG PERPETUAL 90PHOMORE ,ONE OF THOSE LUSTY, JausTY GUYS! --+ A RHINESTONE IN THE ROUGH! THE ONLY WAY HE'LL EVER WIN A BRIDE 15 IN A RAFFLE! ic; - | | ' N \ 4 : 1 N g : !Hsﬁ';f o ) £r‘ :~ &(«- (< = N ’h e | 7] T A ‘x. | i

THE LIGONIER BANNER

SPORTS COMPASS Gl & ¥

New York, N. Y.—The fellow who wields the most potent “bat” in baseball every year is none other than Father Time. His trusty schythe cuts just enough away from star veterans each succeedirfg season to make a shambles of pre-season predictions which fail to account for the relentless reaper. : “After you reach the age of 30,” Babe Ruth once muttered, “all basepaths seem to run uphill.” Another age-conscious figure is Branch Rickey, baseball’s most successful practitioner, who makes a fetish of selling his star players right after their peak— Dizzy

B e T R SRR . o SRR B A R e SR e RRN R S O BRI - R rR v A e G RO 5;:;:;;;:;:;;;:;:;:;:;3;;:;:f; el e L o S S 'i:}:f‘»_s?":fzs:f St b N e B RR S R R = B e SRR R B R L B ERMPR <. e e, N R Rt N R e BRETEES L R me LB S SR R By B % SRR ) Stan McClane

numerous blunders of a promising rookie at any base than man that post with a fading veteran who could play the position “from memory”’ better than the floundering freshman.

~ Says the Brooklyn brain-trust-er, “You keep banking on a veteran indefinitely, and he’ll play just well enough not to let you feel that he’s hurting the club ... but he is! I call that type the ‘anaesthetic’ ballplayer. Stay with the anaesthetic long enough and you’ll find yourself amputated in time.” &

At this stage of baseball’s pennant races, the most surprising teams of 1950 are the ones who went overboard for the youth movement. Reading from left to right, they are the Philadelphia

myself that organic farming has merits beyond all dreams. In my limited experience 1 have never seen a vegetable garden its equal. Next tc mine, it was particularly outstanding. I have no phosphate rock ,manure or composi to sell anyone so plugging this type of garden bears no selfish purpose, but I now strongly advise it. ’

% * * All colleges are not poor, nor do they publish all sources of revenue as for example Antioch College in Yellow Springs, Ohio, who admittedly turns. down - three thousand applications per year from which they have collected a ten dollar fee each that is not returned. This represents a gross profit of thirty-thous-and dollars per year, which

" BRING HIM OUT TO DINNER SOME EVENING, MY DEAR! SINCE YOL'RE FALLING FOR HIM ,I'D LIKE TOSEE IF il HES 600 D ENOUGH 7i o = FOR:YOU ! Ty & § %\ i \ » «/ﬁ’ V"W LN Pty 220 N TN XX (/> EN ”Am\ =% A WSS P ‘}a‘a. f)\ W& ‘

S why KERRY LAMB! "~/ . o . 1 THINK HE SOUNDS Nice !\ 0-HO X @oy HIS VOICE SORTA--CUDDLES UP.-.TO A PERSON’S EAR'O.! A % S s \ & i ee, »”"4'; - g v *‘* L‘\ﬂ}r e o-4 s g , ALI N . IS~ A ’ g RSN i 2 : oL A ‘:‘.f ¥, {\M L S N AR s

National Press and Radio Sports Commentator

Dean, $185,000; Joe Medwick, $150,~000; Walker Cooper, $175,000; Kirby Higbe, $lOO,000 ete. Rickey’s teams are always loaded with youth. The Dodger pundit would rather take the

Phillies, Washington Senators and Chicago Cubs. Here’s the story: (1) Phillies— Bob Carpenter, scion of the duPont billions, was himself a callow kid in his 20’s when he bought the bankrupt Philly franchise during the war. Realizing that youth is the only hope of the future, he dispatched gold-laden scouts all over the country to sign teen-agers. Curt Simmons had hardly taken the ribbon off his high school diploma when a scout stuffed a $65,000 bonus into his pocket for a left-handed autograph on a Philly contract. Today, Simmons is recognized as the fastest southpaw in the league. (2) Cubs — Manager Frankie Frisch’s gout caused him no worse pain than his 1949 Chicago team’s own old-age affliction: veteranitis. So the famous Fordham Flash decided to make the 1950 Cubs live up to-their young nickname. Hallowed veterans suddenly found themselves on the bench, holding. Pepsi-Cola bottles instead of baseball bats. Press box critics made wisecracks about the sound of the new names. Commenting on the Cub rookies, scribes said that second sacker Wayne Terwilliger sounded like a character out of Charles Dickens.. . outfielder Bob Borkowski sounded like a mouthwash .. . and third baseman Ransom Jackson sounded more like the hero of a cowboy story. (8) Senators—Last Winter, Bucky Harris inherited a club well tabbed, “Washington: first in war, first in peace and last in the American League.” His managerial predecessor, Joe Kuhel, made this assay of the club when he was fired for finishing last in 1949, “You can’t make chicken salad out of chicken feathers.” But Harris swept out the remnants of the oldage home from Griffith Stadium. He traded relentlessly, always getting the edge in-youth if nothing else.

should make a tidy net sum. Frankly, it would ‘be nice to have their turn-down business, wouldn’t it?

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