Ligonier Banner., Volume 42, Number 52, Ligonier, Noble County, 19 March 1908 — Page 2

i » . | The House That Bob Built E ! By NELLIE CRAVEY GILLMORE 4 }

{Copyright, 1908, by Dally Story Pub. Co.)

‘Miss Letitia lifted herself slowly from her white linen pi_llows and peered through ths open*window into the sweet, summer dusk, A little sharp rap on the panel of the door caused her to lie down quickly with a Jow-murmured: “Come.” ;

Dorcas Trimble entered, bearing a small silver tray on which was placed the. newest delicacy, shrouded in

snowy doilies. ' : “I didn’t wake you?” she questioned, with a half-apologetic note in her fresh young voice. e =

“No, oh, no. - Turn up the lamp—higher. I've been awake some time. But after dinner I slept .an hour or more—and I had the vividest dream!”

Dorcas placed the tray on a tabie beside the invalid, and turned up the light. Then she sat down in a chair close to the bed and took one of Miss Letitia’s slim, lily-like hands between ber little brown ones. “Tell me abqut the dream;” she said. o - For a second, the blood covered the other's pale face like a crimson mantle. She spoke musingly and with vaguelytremulous lips. ~ “When I was roung like yourself, dear, I had a lover. All young girls have lovers, do they not, Dorcas?” She smiled. “Now, now, don’t blush any more, child; I'm not after probing ¥our secret—but I'm going to tell you mine.”

For answer, the young girl squeezed the hand she held, warmly, while a divine flush slipped up to the rims of her little pink ears. “When 1 was nineteen,” Miss Letitia went on dreamily, “he came into my life, changing everything. I'loved him and he loved me—that is the biggest thing' I can say. We were to be married in June. The heuse was all in readiness—the house he’d been scrimping and pinching to get built, for years. The wedding. gown had come home from Worth's and the invitations were waiting to be mailed—when grandfather’s letter came, like a bolt from the blue: ‘Letitia must never marry Robert Grantley—if she values his life. For he is the grandson of Geraldine Haskell.” When mother’s father 'was a young man, Geraldine Haskell broke his heart; he cursed her and everything connected with her—everybody. He was a dangerous man, and much to be feared. I, as everyone eise, knew that he- made no idle threats. And so—l gave-up my lover to save his life. I have not seen him from that day to this, 15 years.” Tnconsciously, the young girl's fingers tightened on the ones she held. “Oh,” she said, “Oh!” Then after a Jittle, she asked: ; R

“And if you had-it all to go over again, Miss Letitia?” "“1 bardly know, child. Love is a strange master. Robert was very angry, and mortally hurtt But I re mained firm. When he found that I was not to be moved, he let 'me alone —forever.” Her voice dropped to. a little quiver and she turned away her bead, wetting the pillow with a rush of hot tears. : i

TUnder some sudden impulse, Dorcas bent swiftly and -kissed her on the cheek. “And you were dreaming of him?” she queried softly. : “Of Bob, yes. The years rolled back; it was just as if there had been ‘WO SOrTOW, no separation.” = " A moment of silence ensued, during whidh each seemed waiting for the other to speak. At last the girl said: “Shall I tell you my secret, Miss Letitia?” N

“Yes, indeed.” The older woman looked up joyously, banishing the shadows from her face. Her eyes were very bright from their recent tears.

After an eloquent little pause, Dorcas began: “There is someone whom I love and who loves me, very dearly. Like yourself, that is the biggest thing I ean say. His name is"—she bent and whispered it—"all my people are against him because his are Yankees. Papa fought side by side with Jackson, you know. But if all his people ‘were Hottentots, it woulda’t make any

Animals’ Love For Tobacco.

Many Get to Enjoy the Habit of Chew- _ = ing and Smoking.

Animals frequently possess a positive love for tobacco, according {o a menagerie trainer.- : “In my early days,” he said, “I was connected with a circus which possegsed the unique attraction of a terrier which, among other tricks, had been instructed in the art of smoking a clay pipe. The curious point was that the animal actually got to enjoy its -pipe, and would insist on having it at the usual time every Sunday, as in the performance on week days. ‘l‘9 parrot is, perhaps, of all birds the most apt to take up bad habits. A friend of mine has one which is passionately fond of eating and chewing tobaeco. If given a sufficient quantity the bird will make itself positiveIy drunk with the nicotine, and will stagger about its cage fn exact imitafil"%“*‘m

Real Joy Doesn't it warm you when Some one comes in, When luck has harried him, Borrows your tin; When a man thinks of you On the down trend, When life has battered him, You are his friend. . 5 But is there anything Equals your glee, Makes you gladsomely Glad as can be, As when that same man comes, Loosed from the rack, ; Basking in fortune's smile, And pays you back? —Houston Post.

difference to me now. I should simply snap my fingers at the whole universe and marry him.” o Miss Letitia laughed softly as she pressed the damp little hands in her clasp. “Well, he’s a lucky young chap to get a girl like you, and I've no doubt you’ll be the happiest pair of pigeons in all Hilburn county.” “In all the world!” cried Doreas, with very pink cheeks and blacker eyes than she’'d ever had before. “And the wedding?” -

“Next month—at St. Katherine’s. We're going to Washington and New York city and Niagara; then back to Hilburn for life, I suppose. But such a life.”

- Miss Letitia d4id not say anything, but lay watching the girl's radiant face with thoughtful - eyes, while a wistful shadow stole over her delicate face. Finally she said: - “I'm so glad you're happy, dear. And I certainly hope this refractory ankle will be accommodating enough to let me go to the wedding.” '

A fortnight later, Dorcas Trimble ran lightly up the steps and pressed the bell at the Fosdicks’. Then, without waiting for it to be answered, she pushed open the door and went straight to Miss Letitia’'s door. . The latter was sitting by an open window, a book in her lap. She wore a gown of billowy white muslin, the cloud-like folds sweeping the floor about her. A mass of filmy lace was draped about her shoulders, drifting in graceful cascades far down upon her skirt. Her features were small and aristocratic, and the pale gold hair, piled loosely high upon her well-poised head, gave her a look that was instantly patrician. Dorcas greeted her eagerly, delighted to find her thus far on the road to recovery. :

“Why, Miss Letitia,” she eried, “how charming you look.” She, nerself, was more than lovely in her gown of pale blue dimity with its crisp bows of ribbon. “I'm on my way out to take a peep at the house. I have the pony cart, it's a perfect day, and I do so want you to go with me and help me decide.” : :

The other laughed and rose with a little gesture of pleasure. She pinned on her hat and dropped the veil over her face. Then she threw a lace boa over her’ shoulders and pulled on her gloves. Afterwards, they went out to the cart and drove away at a brisk trot. Ten minutes later, they had left the last -straggling village house behind and turned into the turnpike road, talking merrily as they whirled along. Presently Dorcas: drew rein in front of a little white, cottage, nestling behind a group of trees like a pearl in a circle of emeralds. The sunlight trickled -through the branches in golden splotches and the sky overhead covered it like a turquoise cup. ;

With a little gasp of delight, Dorcas jumped out and tied the pony:to a post.

- But for some abrupt reason, Miss Letitia remained where she was, silent and a bit pale. ' The young girl looked up at her in astonishment. “Why, why, Miss Letitia,” she said contritely, “I am afraid it’s been too great a tax on you. I—”

But the other had recollected herself swiftly and forced a smile to cover her agitation. " “It's nothing,” she said, “I'm just a trifie shaky because it is my first outing aftep being confined so long.” She rose and stepped down on the ground, and they entered the little iron gate that opened into a wilderness of blossom. Doreas hurried excitedly up the gravel path, ran up the steps and fitted a brass key to the front door., Miss Letitia sat down on the steps to get her breath, smiling in spite of herself at each rapturous outburst that came from within as Dorcas discovered some fresh revelation of beauty. ;

Suddenly the gate clanged sharply and a stranger came quickly up the rose-bordered path. He was attired in brown corduroys and riding-boots,

made the bird som®what of a con-, noisseur. respecting its favorite luxury, and it nof® treats fine-cut tobacco with contempt. Its particular delight ®is the rum-soaked plug affected by sailors. B & “It is among the Slmqu'ttribe that tobacco-loving quadrupeds are most frequent. This is probably owing to the monkey's overpowering faculty for imitation, which sometimes gets it into trouble. \

“A friend of mine has a monkey which is addicted to snuff. The animal has been taug¥t to take a pinech from the box of a visitor with all the courtly air so prevalent in.the days when snuff-taking was the fashion.”

Hymn Singing Out of Style, “The other morning, ®remarked the old-fashioned man, “I had to put the question to myself as to whether people ever sang hymns any more in New York outside of church. If came about through my hearing a woman singing ‘Lead, Kindly Light,’ the words and

and carried his broad-brimmed felt hat in his hand. .

“I beg your pardon,” he began in a rich, musical voice, “but I was told that T should meet a possible tenant here at this hour.”

Miss Letitia started, twisting the little lace handkerchief she carried, between her fingers. Her lips were pressed together and two vivid spots of color sprang to her cheeks. When she could still the tumultuous beating of her heart, she lifted her hand and drew up her veil, while the man looked on in petrified amazement. His eyes slowly widened and the color, surging into his face, showed clear and strong beneath the heavy mask of tan. “You!” he said at last. ‘ “Yes, Robert.” “And so you are going to be married after all, and come here to live.” His tone tried hard to be commonplace, - but the bitterness leaked through, and he suddenly looked older than his 40 years. : : The waves of red were coming and going in Miss Letitia’s delicate cheeks in little soft rushes. There was a quick in-catch of her breath, as she said: ““Oh, no, not I; it is Dorcas Trimble and young Hardin.” ¢ With a paean of thanksgiving in his heart, Robert Grantley took a swift step in her direction, in his eyes the look that 15 years had not dimmed. © “Letitia!” he cried. And—- “ Bob!” she answered. ' . A rippling laugh broke in upon their supreme moment, followed immediately by the exuberant young author of it. “Dear me; Miss Letitia, I've been waiting—ah!” She stopped short, her cléar gray eyes searching the two faces hefore her. y

“I am the owner of this place, Miss Trimble,” apologized -Grantley, “and I am sorry to have inconvenienced vou, but I have about decided to—er—occupy it myself in the near future.” His gaze rested in luminous questioning upon Miss Letitla’s flowering cheeks. '

Dorcas merely said: “Oh!” And the language of love being as kindergar: ten to that yonng veteran of heart lore, she suddenly called to mind that she had mislaid her handkerchief, and fited back into the house. DID YEAR'S WORK IN A NIGHT. .College Man Who Proved the Worthi lessness of Examinatjons. .Some college professors insist that the examination system is a .failure and they can cite instances which they believe bear out their side of the case. One of these faculty men, a recent graduate from a large university, said. >

“When I was in college there was a man of great capacity who had neglected one course from his freshman vear when ‘he got a condition. - When it came down to his senior year he had to make it up, but he let it go until the very last set of examinations. Then he had to get it off or lose his degree. - “This man knew so little of German, the course in which he was deficient, that' he could not even read the printed words with ease, let alone understand them. But he passed the examination. | “He went to a man in his class who was proficient in German armed with sets of examination papers in that course for about six years back. They picked out the recurrent questions until finally they saw that there were enough which were included in the various papers of each year to insure a passing percentage. “This man, who as I said was of great capacity, then proceeded teo memorize a correct answer' to each of these questions. He had a keyword for each question, so that he would recognize it even if it were not worded exactly as the one on a previous paper.

" “With this sort of work, which took him about all night, he went into the examination- and passed off a year’s work triumphantly.”

The Fresh Air Treatment. Most of us are acquainted with the person who asks obvious questions—the sort of man who stops you in the middle of a headlong pelt and asks you if you are in a hurry—and of all the irritable individuals he is the very worst of the objectionabla species. Mr. Ellis is one of these pests, and during a walk abroad the other morning he paused in astonishment outside a friend’s house. Before it stood three huge moving vans, the lawn was almost covered with articles of furniture of various sorts—pictures, wardrobes and china. And there was his old friend Hills begrimed, weary and ill-tempered, directing operations in his shirt-sleeves. .

“What, Hills,” exclaimed Mr. Ellis, “are you moving?” “Not at all—not at all,” snapped Hills, with elaborate sarcasm. “I amtaking my furniture out for a ride!”— Illustrated’ Sunday Magazine. " Not Really Needed. ‘One old member of the New York bar who has long been in touch with court methods and proceedings says he wonders why a certificate of good character is required before a man is admitted to practice. -

melody of which came floating down to my room through an airshaft. When I heard it I was reminded of the fact that in the five years I've lived here I never heard any one singing a hymn before in our apartment house, or anywhere else, so far as that goes, save in church or on the street corner by the Salvation Army. And yet, although I never go to vaudeville performances, I am kept. thoroughly -informed, through the medium of that same airshaft, as to what is the latest thing in popularity. Qld-fashioned hymn-singing, like old-fashioned homes, are out of date, I guess.”

Tickets Made from Newspapers,

On the Belgian state railways all the newspapers left in the train belong to the government. They are sent to the paper mills, made into pulp and sérve afterwards as railway tiok: efx, Over 100 tons of newspapers are collected every year. i

The Straightforward Sex.

“Please give me two bills for my hat, one for $lO for my husband and for $2O to show. my lady friends.”— Meggendorfer Blaetter.

ASPIRANT FOR LIGHTWEIGHT HONORS

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MANY STAR PITCHERS HAVE HOODOO TOWNS

Twirlers Are Unable to Win in Their Jonah Cities—All Look Alike to Cy Young.

Many of the star pitchers in the American league have cities in the circuit which they regard as their Jonah towns. The twirlers always like to skip the hoodoo cities. ‘ Take Addie Joss for instance. Addie ranked second in the standing of the American league pitchers, yet he always liked to occupy a seat on the bench when the Naps were:playing in Philadelphia. The Athletics seem to be able to beat Addie no matter how good he works against them. Either the Naps fail to hit or field behind Addie or the luck favors Mack’s team and decides the contest against Larry’s club. Generally the pitchers are so shifted that Joss is not called upon to work in Philly. :

Jack Powell of the Browns has never been successful in Chicago. Jack claims that he can never remember of winning a game against the White Sox. One run has decided a number of them, but somehow or other the White Sox always managed to be on the winning end. McAleer works Powell 'regularly in Chicago and has hopes that he may some time break the hoodoo. -

Billy Hogg of the Highlanders, hates to stack up against the Cleveland team at home or in Cleveland. It's the same old story when he faces the I\g.ps, another defeat for New York. ®lt is iclaimed that Hogg has asked Griff that he never be worked against the €leveland club and that Griff has agreed to the request. Detroit has always been a Jonah to Fred Glade, formerly of the Browns, but now a member of the Highlanders. It seems to' be an impossible feat for Glade to win a game in the Tiger town. He nearly broke the hoodoo in the final game he pitched in Detroit last year. He had the Tigers 5 to 2, but two errors by Niles, a base on balls 'and singles by Cobb and Crawford settled the game.

Géorge Mullen just loves to work in Cleveland, and Hughey Jennings always gives the fat boy plenty to do when the Tigers play there. Mullin has always been : very successful against the Naps. Jimmy Dygart always hates to work in Cleveland, while Tom. Hughes just revels in a chance to go against the Naps. Case Patten is fond of St. Louis, probably because McAleer always had so many left-handers on his team. Eddie Walsh never fared very well in Cleveland, but could beat St. Louis almdst any old time.

Cy Young appears to be about the only twirle who likes to work in every city in the circuit. All clubs look alike to Cy and all clubs have a wholesome fear of the veteran’s prowess. . The only time Cy is liable tc make a request to his manager is on a dark day. Then Cy always re,quests the honor of pitching, for his ‘speed is practically unhittable. -

Ball Player a Real Hero.

Harry Quarles, the athletic captain of the Richmond academy baseball team, located at Richmond, Va., has one of the Carnegie medals coming to him if anybody deserves one. In two short weeks Quarles has saved two people from drowning in Forest hill pond, a skating resort just outside the city. - Miss Dietrick, one of Richmond’s southern belles, broke through the ice recently while skating on the pond, and Quarles bravely alone saved her. The young lady went down in 15 feet of water. The ice broke under -the weight of the two every time Quarles tried to lift the young lady out of the water, but each additional plunge brought him nearer the shore. The next thing in order -to end the romance is the announcement of the engagement of the hero and the rescued. : ¥

Date Set for Football Game.

Wisconsin and Chicago will meet on ‘the gridiron next fall in Madison on November 14.. Simultaneously with the closing of the Chicago contract came the news from Minneapolis that the Badgers and Gophers will play on Northrop. field on November 7. With these two big games on the schedule it is not probable the Badgers will take on more than one other conference college, unless the conference votes for seven games. It is more than likely Illinois and lowa will be. dropped from the schedule and another game arrvanged with In4Aiana. : ; ' .

MANY FOOTBALL PLAYERS RELIGIOUS OFF GRIDIRON

Some of Princeton’s Star Pigskin Warriors Led at Prayers When Not in Game.

Few people are aware of the fact that many of the college footbail players are not alone prominent on the gridiron. Some turn their energies to honors in scholarship; some to. literature; some to music¢; and as a_fact a gcodly proportion take up rgligious work while in college and are prime movers in the regular religious institutions of the university. Of football men in Princeton wuniversity in the last five years it is estimated that 35 per cent. took more than the average interest in religious work.

Going over a list of some: of the gridiron stars in Princeton in the last tew years, it shows that many of them have led the prayer meetings of their class on Sunday evening and have in cther ways shown their interest in what is termed the ethical side of coilege life.

Tooker, who played end on Princeton’s 1905 eleven, was president of the Philadelphia society, the institution which corresponds to a Y.-M. C. A. in Princeton. ; i

James L. Cooney, perhaps one of the most famous athletes of the collegiate world in recent years, a football player of All-American honors and captain of two championship baseball nines, led his class in prayer several times during the year and was a member of committees of the. Philadelphia society. e Donald Herring, center on the 1906 .team, was a religious worker, and is now a Rhodes scholar in Oxford. Robert R. Gailey, All-American center on Princeton’s championship team in 1906, is in charge of the religious work of Princeton in Peking, China. E. A. Dillon, the star quarterback of the last three years, who has been elected to captain the 1908 eleven, has always attended religious meetings at Princeton and has taken an active interest. ¥

" Of the last team which represented Princeton and played Yale the 12 to 10 game which will be entered in gridiron annals as one of the most famous struggles between the Tiger and the Bulldog, there were several men who have been leaders in religion. Among these are Booth, 1909; Phillips, 1908; Wister, 1908; Dillon, 1909; MacFadyen, 1910, and Harlan, 1908. Moreover, there are scores of substitutes and scrub players whose athletic achievements are not as prominent, who are frequently delegates to student conferences, menibers of religious committees and other college institutions which have to do with the moral side of life.

WAGNER SAYS HE WILL RETIRE Great Shortstop Claims He Is Going to Take Year of Rest. Honus Wagner, shortstop of the Pirates; threw consternation into the hearts of Pittsburg fans and President Dreyfuss when he reiterated his midwinter threat not to play ball during the coming season. H Wagner says he is negotiating for the purchase of a chicken farm and will spend the summer raising chickens. : Wagner has been a sufferer from rheumatism all winter, and, although he has undergone several treatments, none of them appear to have benefited him in the least. It is understood that a prominent specialist has advised him to take a year of rest and that Wagner .is simply carrying out his orders. 3

{ Shortly after the season closed Wag‘ner announced that he intended to rei tire from the game for a year. No one took him seriously, for it was believed his threat was made merely to boost his salary. Barney Dreyfuss has made several visits to the great player’s home, but according to the latest state. ment of the champion swatter, all of them have been in vain. : Wagner’s announcement that he would remain out of the game coming right after Allan Storke’s refusal to join the Pirates until he had finished his law course at Harvard, and the trouble with Tommy Leach over salary has given the fans and club offi cials plenty to worry about. Presi dent Dreyfuss refuses to believe that Wagner is sincere and insists that he will be with' the Pirates: when the season opens.

The Funny Things One Sees Smiling Round the World By MARSHALL P. WILDER : (Copyright, by Joseph B. Bowles.) -

The city of Honolulu, looking from the harbor, does not seem large, though there is a population of 50,000. The houses are so embowered in luxurisnt foliage it is only occasionally that a roof may be seen peeping out. As soon as the gang-plank was out a friend welcomed us with the beautitul but rather embarrassing Hawaiian custom of throwing long = wreaths about our necks. These are made of carnations, camelias or jasmine, with glossy, green leaves. Women, who make them, sit along the streets in Honolulu with baskets of flowers and completed wreaths beside them; their fingers busily engaged in weaving others. So universal is this custom of' wearing these flowery adornments that every native one meets has neck and hat decorated with a fresh, dewy wreath. Time was, no doubt, when these were all of their adornIng, but civilization has decreed a few additions to such an airy, though, no doubt, picturesque costume. '

Our doubts as to- the best method of seeing the sights were settled for us by our friend, who had an automobile waiting for us on the dock. The driver told us of his first trip in the machine through the outlying country. He came upon a Chinese coolie who had never seen anything of the kind before, and stood rooted with horror to the road until the driver tooted the horn. Then the Chinaman fled frantically to the fence, over which he plunged, shrieking, “Heap devil! heap devil!” When the driver had finished telling us of his first experience I told him of mine—not in Honolulu, but in the good old Empire state, U. S. A. As I remember it was a fine ride! The fine was a hundred and fifty. I said to my chauffeur (chauffeur is French for plumber) “Let her go!” and he let her go. We

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went so fast, the milestones looked like a cemetery! We simply flew through the air. When the car stopped short I was still flying. I flew 80 feet through the air, shot through a church window, and lit right in the middle of the congregation, just as the minister was saying: ‘“And the angel of the Lord descended!” Well, after working four days, with eight-hour night shifts, we ' got the car going; and all went well till I tried to gteer. I turned out for a cow, and turned into a ‘“dago” with a fruit gtand. There was a free delivery of fruit. Tt was hard to tell which was: the fruit, and which was the ‘“dago.” We stopped long enough to remove a banana from my eye (you have to keep your eye peeled) and went on. Nothing happened until we got in the midst of a crowded ' thoroughfare, when the blamed thing had the blind staggers; tried to climb an electric light pole, and bit a policeman in the middle of his beat! That cost the city a copper, and me a pretty penny. * * ® * *

An interesting phase of life in Honolulu is the political speaker, who takes the stump—sometimes several

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To Btand Upon the Edge of This Cliff

Must Give a Thrilll | stumps, in succession—at the noon hour. All Hawaiians take a keen interest in politics. - The speech I heard was in the Hawaiian tongue, the only words I understood being “beef trust,” this the speaker said very plainly in English, there probably being no equivalent in Hawaiian. As he proceeded from stump to stump, his aundience waned perceptibly—perhafi;;f?g rom a natlve imdolence of temperament which could not cling very long to ene thing. At any rate,

when he reached the last stamp ah audience reminded me of what Peter Dailey said of an aud'ence in a New York theater where business was poor. When asked how large the au. dience was, “Pete” answered, “I could lick all three of them!” , . ; * * * * SR

From politics to Pali—a marvelous transition. This high clift, garlanded with the softest and mort luxuriant verdure, overlooks a fertile valley where is spread, like a carpet, every varying shade of green that finally mélts in the distance to the exquisite turquoisé and beryl tints of the sea, making an enchanting panorama of transcendant loveliness. :

1 was next taken to the aquarium, where the collection of native fish is something beyond the wildest imagination to picture, and quite baffles description. Little fishes striped in bright pink-and-white, like sticks of peppermint candy, jostle those = that are of a silvery and blue brocade, others of a dark color, with spots of vivid ‘red, and bridles of. golden yel: low going about their heads = are -in the next cage to transparent fish of a delicate pink or blue—or a family of devil fish. There are fish of a beautiful somber purple, and fish of white with black horizontal stripes, looking like a company of convicts from Sing Sing. There are many many others, those with trailing fringes, or floating wings; those with eyes on little pivots that turn easily in all directions like small, conning towers; all odd or unusual, seeming like dream-fishes, or the phantoms of a disordered brain, rather than products of nature. e Shoa

I spent considerable "time on the architecture of the Hawaiian language, but never got much above the ground floor; but if I had stayed in the cellar, it would have -been just the same, for I could make but one thing out of it, and that was that the whole structure is builtj upon- the letter K. They can't get along without that K, They must stick it into everything. Kalahui is a breezy little port, with a kourthouse and a klub—good fellows, too!—and a mercantile marine, and a railway, and a wreck in the harbor, and all of 'em belonging to Kalahui. If you speak of the thrivingsplantations that back the harbor, they’ll be sure to ask you if you've noticed the Kalo patches? Kalo may be French for kabbages or karnations—you don’t give a kontinental, either way—but you smile, and say, “Great!. wouldn’t mind having a korner in Kalo some day!” o If you want to go up a mountain, of course it must be Haleakala; it’s only

got one K in it, by the way, but it's got the biggest krater at the top of it you ever saw or heard of—2o miles in circumference, and 2,000 feet -deep. It’s stone dead—entirely gone out of business; but in my opinion that’s an advantage of two-to-one on any live crater. If you want to go up another mountain, try Kilanea—it’'s only another K, and the-avenue that leads out to it is a magnificent boulevard set out on either side with bread-fruit trees, mangoes and alligator -pears. Kilanea is the biggest thing in the live crdter business in the world—a lake®of fire 1,200 feet long and 500 wide, with a surface measure of 12 acres. You hold your breath and say your prayers; and, when a. gust of wind carries away the blinding steam and smoke, you look down, down 500 feet into’ a veritable hell-fire lake, whose waves of flame rise and fall in convulsive throes that shake the very heart out of your body—in other words, the thing has fits to beat the band, and you wish you hadn’t come! But you get all over it by the next day, and if you want to calm your mind and restore your nerves, you take a nice, quiet stroll down Kukui place and kommune with nature.

' Finally, if you’'ve done anything you oughtn’t to, and get arrested and taken to the lockup, you run up &gainst the biggest bunch of ks in the whole business. The name of the. “jug” is Kahleamakakaparalgapill. 9 That got me! I was kompletely kerflummuxed—down and out. As far as. studying the Hawaiian language goes, I'm a kwitter! : * & » ®% ® Oh, lovely island world! Where else in the universe is there a spot made up wholly of beauty and peace? Where man—and even woman—ean cease worrying about stocks, franchises, new bonnets, real estate, society, insurance, politics, and ‘all the rest that go to make up the pandemonium of existenee, and settle down in the shade of a palm tree, royal, cocoa, wine, cabbage, serew, fan or native—he has a choice of . seven—unbutton his shirt-collar and smoke the pipe of forgetfulness. Ly Oh, happy Hawaii! that hath no poisonous reptiles, no noxious plants, no pestiferous insects! e 'Tis not I that can do you justice! Let my friend Charley Stoddard, with his ' prose—poem—paragraphs and his mellifiuous ‘periods do the job for me. When he sits down with hi¢ pen dipped in honey, and his mouth full of guava jelly, to reel off a few reams of ecstatic English in praise of his beloved islands, he makes the rest of us feel like 3V cents. And when:he declares that he has traveied the wide world over, but never, never has he seen a spot to equal this—why, what can we do but say, “Same here, old

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; The Son of Ham. “During a revival in Texas,” said Philip R. Bangs of Toledo, 0., his turn for a story having come, “a negro was reputed to have had visions about Heaven and hell. His boss called him up and interrogated him as.to what -he saw in both places, -and first as to what the white men and darkies were %doing in° Heaven. ‘Lord, boss, the- - white men was all a-tilting back in “their. chairs, with their heels on the “banisters, a-smoking cigars, and the niggers was down on their knees a,shining up their golden slippers.’ Then as to .what was going on at the other place. ‘Ef you believe me, boss, every single white man had nigger in his hands a-holdin’ him up between him and the flames.’”—Washington Herald. s

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