Ligonier Banner., Volume 36, Number 43, Ligonier, Noble County, 23 January 1902 — Page 3

c 8 l- By Charles M. Sheldon, | Author of ‘‘IN HIS STEPS, *’ ‘‘ JOHN KING’S . QUESTION CI:ASS;’-’ ‘‘EDWARD BLAKE, "’ Etc. (Copyright, 1900, by Charles M. She\dog.) Sy CHAPTER VIII.—CONTINUED. : There was a little embarrassment at the first greeting with the Wards, but it soon passed off and in a few moments the young minister was chatting delightfully. His happiness was - on his face and in his manner. He had never looked so noble or so handsome, Barbara’s heart said to herself, _almost wondering whether it was all . a dream from which she would soon be rudely awakened. But it was no dream like that. Her heart sang as she began to realize its reality. “Q, by the way,” Mr. Ward said sud- » denly, turning to his wife, “Martha, " how about that rule that we made long ago, that the hired girl should re- - «ceive her company in the kitchen? Why did I go to all the expense of furnishing that new kitchen if the girl is going to sit here in the parlor?” Mr. Morton jumped to his feet, and walked over to Barbara. “Come, Barbara,”’ he said, with a touch of humor that equaled the ocecasion. “Come out into the kitchen where we belong. This is no place for aus.” ; Barbara rose, blushing and laughing. - “Yes, I see. Just an excuse to get rid_of us,” Mr. Ward said, as-the lovers .walked out. “We want to live up to the rule of the house,” Mr. Morton retorted. They went out into the room where Barbara had spent so many hours of hard toil and, when they were alone, the minister said: ‘“Pear; do yonu know, this room is a sacred spot to me? I have thought of you as being here more than anywhere else.” ~ “If I had known that,” Barbara said, gently, and she no longer avoided the loving brown eyes that looked down at her, “it would have lightened a good many weary hours. I feel ashamed now fo think of the quantities of tears I have shed in this little rdom.” “The thought that your life has gone out in service here, Barbara, is a beautiful thought to me. What a wonderful thing it is to be 0; use in the world! I thank God my mother brought me up to reverence the labor of the hand in honest toil. There is mothing more sacred in all of human life.” ‘ e Then they talked of their love for each other, and were really startled when the door suddenly opened and Mr. Ward called out from the entry: . **Gas and coal come high this winter. You can draw your own inference.” They rose, laughing, and came back into the parlor, where Mrs. Ward apologized_for Mr. Ward’s interruption. : . “Don’t “‘sa}\a word, Mrs. - Ward,” Morton said, gayly. “I shall soonhave Barbara all to myself.” “How soon?” 5 - “l don’t know quite.” Mr. Morton looked at Barbara. . - “There will be mourning in this household when.she goes,” Mrs. Ward replied. “I mever expect to have another girl like Barbara.” “I'm sorry for you, but you can’t ex- . pect me to feel any sorrow for myself.”’ : ¢#¥es, that’s it Mr. Ward put in, ironically. “You preachers are always talking about sacrifice, and giving up, and all that. I notice that, when it comes to a personal application, you are just as grasping after the best there is as anybody.” - “Of. course,” said Morton, cheerful--Iy, looking at Barbara. . =He 1S soing to suffer for it, though,” Barbara came to the rescue of Mr. Ward. “He may lose his church Jjust as you are going to lose me.” - “I don’t think so,” Mortan answered, calmly. “But if I do—" He did not finish, but his look-at Barbara spoke .volumes. It said that he had found something which would compensate for any earthly loss. : When Morton had gone, Barbara slipped up to her room. Her happimess. was too great to be talked about. The thought of what her "lover, her ““lover,” she repeated, had said about service, about the image of herself daily in that kitchen, made her tremble. She had tried to accustom herself to the thought of Christ’s teaching about service. Her study of the different passages in the Bible referring to servants had given her new life on the subject. It had all grown sweeter - and more noble as she went on. And, now that her life had been caught up into this other life, a newer and <learer revelation of labor and ministry nad come to her. Never had Barbara offered a truer prayer of thanksgiving than the one that flowed out ©of her heart to God to-night. Never had the depth and beauty of human service meant so much to her as now, ‘when human love, the love sanctioned by Jesus and made holy by His benediction, had begun to translate common things into divine terms. In her Bible-reading that night she found a passage in the sixth chapter ~ of Second Corinthians that pleased her very much. It did not belong first of all to the service of a houseservant; yet Barbara felt quite sure, as she read, that, if Paul had been ' questioned about jt, he would have said that the teaching applied just as well to house-ministration as to ministration anywhere else. This is the passage which she read: “Giving no . occasion of stumbling in anything, that our ministrasion be not blamed; but in everything commending ourselves, as ministers of God, in much patience, in afflictions, in necessities, in distresses, in strifes, in imprisonments, in ‘tumults, in labors, in watchings, in fastings; in pureness, in knowledge, in long-suffering, in kindness, in the Holy Ghost, in love unfeigned, in the word of truth, in the power of God; by the armor of righteousness on the right hand and ~ on the left, by glory and dishonor, by evil report and good report; as de‘ceiters, and yet true; as unknown, and yet well known; as dying, and behold we live; as chastened, and not killed; as sorrowful, yet always re- ~ joicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, and yet pos- ~ sessing all things.” ~~ = ° % ~_ “Have I been a ‘minister of God? How often I have complained and

!shed tears over little things as T i have tried to minister to the needs !of this house! Surely at its very %worst I have not endured the hardi ships that Paul speaks of. I know ‘ he is speaking of preachers, probably, |of missionaries of the cross. But I ‘am sure he means that anyone who { ‘ministers’ to the real needs of life is a ‘minister of God.” And, if I have really been a minister of God, how little T have realized its meaning!” “Help me, my Father,” Barbara breathed her prayer, ‘“help me in the thankfulness for the great joy of my | life to live as a servant of Thine. | Through all these possible hardships Jmay I learn to keep close to Thee. Help me to bless other lives and give them' encouragement and a true [thought of ministry. It is all so wonderful, my Father! Thou hast led me in ways so unforeseen by my poor selfishness. It is all too wonderful to me. Oh Thou Great but lov ling God, I thank Thee. In the name of Him who has redeemed ~me. Amen.” ‘ It was the next day that Barbara had a- call from Mrs. Vane. The old lady had met Mr. Morton; and, reading his happiness in his whole person, she asked him bluntly Ito tell her all about it. | “My dear,” she cried as she kissed ' Barbara on both cheeks and shed a jtear out of her sharp eyes, softened ;by her-love for Barbara, “I congratulate you both! It is wonderful; but 'I knew all the time that he loved you {and would have you and I knew that 'you would give yourself to him. It J‘is all as it should be. The Marble Square church is a great institution, l but it is not so great as love. I want you to be married at my house. Morton is one of my boys. I finew him as a child, and 1 love him as a son.” “I don’t think mother would allow me to go away from her, even to | you,” Barbara answered; smiling and blushing until she looked like a picture, Mrs. Vane and Mrs. Ward both thought as they stood looking at her. “We have arranged to be married at mother’s.” i “That’s best; yes, that’s best!” The old lady mnodded approvingly. “No church display, no show, no .cheap or vulgar flaunting of self on the occasion of the most sacred experience in a girl’s life. T always said Ralph Morton -deserved the best woman on earth for a wife and he’s getting her. The good God bless you both!” And the impulsive old lady kissed Barbara again; and, when Barbara went back to her work she Temained some time with Mrs. Ward, talking over the great event; for it was truly great to Barbara and Morton and his friends, and indeed to all Marble Square parish. For, when the news of the minister’s engagement became known in Crawford, as it did in a very short

R R I g rf o = B G e ol e - b e Gay ol “GAS AND COAL NOME HIGH THIS . WINTER.” time, because he made no secret of it, there was consternation in. Marble Square church and in society generally. . ¢ “Is it true?” Mrs. Rice solemnly asked Mrs.sWilson the first time they met after the news became known, “is it really true that Mr. Morton is going to marry Mrs. Ward’s hired .girl? It is simply awful” It cannot be.” S“T'm afraid it is,”” Mrs. Wilson answered, clasping her hands with a tragic gesture as if some terrible calamity had taken place. ‘I had the information direct from Mrs. Vane, who had it direct from Mr. Morton himself.” _ “It will break up Marble Square church, that is all!” Mrs. Rice said, decidedly. “A thing hke that is too serious a social departure for even Mr. Morton to make. As much as people like and admire him, not even his great talents can excuse such a great social blunder.” “They say,” Mrs. Wilson suggested in a hesitating manner, “that the girl is really well educated, and not just an ordinary hired girl. You know Mrs. Ward has told us something about her going out to service in order to help other girls realize its dignity and—and so forth.”

“It makes no difference!” Mrs. Rice replied sharply. ‘She is known as a hired girl. The idea of being obliged to look up to her as our minister’s wife! Will you submit to that?” “Supposing she proves worthy of her place?” Mrs. Wilson suggested, feebly. b ‘ “It’s out of the question!” Mrs. Rice answered, positively. “The whole thing is awfully unfortunate for Marble Square. 1f Mr. Morton had only chosen some girl of good social rank, Miss Dillingham, for example. But, as it is, I for one—" Mrs. Rice did mnot finish what seemed like a threat, but scores of other women in Marble Square felt and spoke just as she did, and the outlook for a great disturbance. in the parish was very good. When Sunday came, Barbara prepared to attend sérvice. She had not been for several Sundays, not 'since the time of the scene at the Endeavor society. Mrs. Ward wondered at her lack of nervousness. There was a self-possession about Barbara, now that she had committed her future to the young minister, that Mrs. Ward admired. She began to have a real respect for her in addition to her aftection. : ‘When Barbara went down the aisle with the family and entered the Ward pew with the rest, it is safe to say

that every eye in Marble Square church was directed toward her. What people saw, very many of them to their great surprise, was a lovely face, free from affectation or superficial prettiness, without bashful consciousness of her prominent position. Every woman in the house could not help acknowledging: “She looks like a lady.” Love had done much for Barbara. It is a wonderful power to dignify and bless.

There were hundreds of people in Marble Square church that morning who had just come from the perusal of one of Crawford’s most sensational Sunday papers, which with a cruelty that was actually Satanic, and a coarseness that was actually eriminal, had printed what it called, in startling headlines: “A Spicy Tale of a Hired Girl and a Preacher. The Rev. Mr. Morton, of the Fashionable Marble Square Church, to Wed a Hired Girl. Full Particulars of the Engagement. With Snap-Shots -of the Parties.” There were two columns of description tklx}w were worthy of authorship from the lowest pit, accompanied with what purported to be reliable pictures of the two lovers. Anditwas from the’ perusal of all this horrible invasion of every sacred and tender private. feeling that the human heart holds dear, that most of the men and women had come into church that morning to add to the sensation by almost as heartless and cruel a scrutiny of Barbara and Mr. Morton.

Barabara did not know all of this; but, even if she had, her love was so pure and great that it is doubtful whether anything could have obscured her perfect happiness. When her lover rose up to preach, she never felt more pride in him, or more confidence in his powers. He fully justified all her expectations. Unlike Barbara, he knew quite fully all the venom and vileness of the paper in question. On his way to church, grinning newsboys had flaunted the pages in his face and shouted their contents in his ears. From all that, he had gone into his room, and after the sustaining prayer that had refreshed and quieted his soul he had gone out to face the people. But he had first faced God. He was not in the least afraid of the people after that.

It is doubtful whether Marble Square church had ever heard such preaching before. It' is doubtful whether Morton had ever before had such a vision or delivered such a message. The spell of his power was on all the great congregation. Hearts that had come to criticise, to sneer, to ridicule, were touched by his words. Members of his parish who after reading the paper had fully made up their minds to sever all connection with the church changed their minds during the wonderfully sweet and helpful prayer that followed the sermon. Ah, Barbara and Ralph! The Spirit of God is greater than all the evil of men. If.victory comes out of all this suffering for .you, it will be due to God’s power over the selfish, thoughtless, eruel children of men. :

‘When the service was over, Barbara quietly went out with Mrs. Ward. In the vestibule they were met by Mrs. Dillingham, who had come out of the other door from a side aisle.

With scores of people noting what was said and done the majestie old lady greeted Barbara with a courteous and even kindly greeting that was unmistakable and created a genuine sensation, for neo family in all Marble Square church had higher connections than the Dillinghams. “My dear Miss Clark,” Mrs. Dillingham had said, “your mother was kind enough to return my call. You have not been so good. ' Will you come and see me soon?”’ “Indeed I will, Mrs. Dillingham, if you have forgiven my neglect of your invitation so far.” :

~ “I'll forgive anything in a Dillingham. You don’t forget you're one of us, as I have said before.” - She swept out of the vestibule grandly, holding her head a little higher than usual, and Barbara blessed the nobility in her that was unspoiled by all her riches and social rank. Probably nothing that occurred that morning made a deeper impression socially. The old lady had not said a word about the engagement. She had too much delicacy and good taste. But it was just as plain as if she had welcomed Barbara as her minister’s wife that she accepted the situation without a thought of remonstrance and was prepared to act loyally towards Mr. Morton, respecting his choice and ‘even ready to defend it before any and all of her influential acquaintances. Miss Dillingham was at the other end of the vestibule while her mother was talking to Barbara. She did not approach Barbara, and, so far as could be seen, did not even look at her during the service. Her proud, handsome face was directed, however, with a fixed and painful gaze upon the preacher through all the service. If at the close Alice Dillingham calmly shut the door of her own heart over its dream of romance in which the talented preacher of Marble Square had begun to be adored, it may be that Barbara fully understood it; and in avoidance of her by the one who had lost what Barbara had gained, Barbara saw no cause for personal ill will. When the heart aches, there are times when it must ache alone, and riches and beauty are no security and mno comfort. - .

The weeks that followed this eventful Sunday were crowded with incidents and meaning for Barbara. She remained nearly a month with Mrs. Ward, until help had been secured, and then with mutual sorrow the women parted, Barbara going home to make preparation, with her mother’s help, for her marriage. , “If you aren’t suited with the situation you’ve found, you can come back to us any time,” Mr. Ward said, as his wife kissed Barbara and made no attempt to hide her sorrow plainly shown by the tears on her face. “Thank you,” responded Barbara, laughing through her tears, for it was a real grief for her to'go; “I am afraid I shall never come back. But, if you will come and see us, I will promise to bake some of your favorite dishes for you.” : She waved her hand to them as they both came to the door and bade her an affectionate farewell and soon turned the corner, with a grave consciousness that one very important chapter in her life had come to s close and a new one had begun. il [To Be Comtinued.]

AN ELEPHANT INDEED.

The Party in Power Has in the Philippines Something It Is Un- ; able to Handle, '

Evidence from the beginning to the present time is cumulative and convincing that this nation has made one of the greatest blunders of its existence in dealing with the Philippine istands. Their people were fighting to throw off the Spanish yoke, just as were those of Cuba, yet we helped the larter to independence and forced the former to the condition of a colony without rights save as granted by the United States government. ' While discussing the bill to provide revenue temporarily for these oriental possessions, Congressman Hepburn admitted that he did not regard either the Filipinos or Cubans as capable of self-government, and charged that the democratic party forced the administration, against its will, to declare the independence of Cuba. No approved political leader ever made a more damaging admission as against his own party, says the Detroit Free Press. It was in control of every branch of the federal government, and responsible to the country for all its acts. Yet he says that it was coerced by the minority without either legislative or executive power to enforce its wishes. There could be no more unqualified confession that the party placed in power and vested with representative authority is not able to control, and has in this instance placed itself in a position where it is forced to the ridiculous subterfuge of making a scapegoat of a minority that is absolutely without power, save in the right to protest. ' All this only goes to accentuate the straits to which those-responsible for our Philippine policy are driven. Attempt at its enforcement has resulted in a series of grievous mistakes. In the outset we declared to the world that the Monroe doctrine is a dog-in-the-manger doctrine. No foreign power must extend its control on this side of the world, but we may seize a whole archipelago on the other side. The props are pulled from under the high moral stand on which we rested the doctrine. Tt must hereafter be upheld by brute force.

. 'The claim that we took the islands in the interest of civilzation is too old, shop-worn and hypocritical to bear discussion. This is not the age of the church militant, crusades and armed devotions. The age is worshiping at the shrine of commercialism. But even here we have overdone the part. The controlling element of selfishness at home was not taken into account. The fact that the sugar, hemp and tobacco trusts had to be reckoned with ‘was not considered. We were going to expand our commerce, and thus enhance the value of our resources,. Contemplation of the outcome is pitiable. Our shipments to the islandsare made up largely of what we send to the 70,000 troops over there, purchase price, transportation and the cost of distribution paid by taxes collected from our own people. Instead of inviting trade with these people we approach the point of prohibition in fixing the duties upon their products, and then make a fine assumption of generosity in telling them that we shall turn over to them what we make in spite of our best efforts to assure against making anything!

Our political institutions are in no sense adapted to a policy of colonization, and the fact becomes more apparent daily. Our constitution was made for a free, self-governing people, and does not in a single sentence or sentiment ‘contemplate the government of a dependency. It isbeing violated in the spirit and the letter. Tt does not sanction a single vital step in our colonial policy. Its sole support is an arbitrary course of legislation by congress and ‘“‘a shifting majority of one” in ¥he supreme court.

PRESS COMMENTS.

——When the trusts took President McKinley in hand he recanted his belief in the “plain duty” of the United States and signed the Porto Rico tariff bill which congress thrust at him. Is President Roosevelt getting ready to imitate the complacency of his predecessor >—Boston Post. :

—The necessity of a reduction of taxation to divert the unneeded sur plus accumulating in the treasury to legitimate channels of business is more apparent than ever. In spite of liberal if not extravagant expenditures in the month of December the treasury surplus for the month amounted to $9,740,000. This is at the rate of neaily $120,000,000 annually, and it gives fresh point and forece to the argument in favor of sweeping tax reduction.—Pittsburg Post. ——The country’s business men are not all tariff barons who run the government to eat up the peopler The tariff question is coming in seven-league boots and the republican statesmen of the present day.don’t seem to see it, or if they do they have that indifference to danger which sometimes characterizes the drunken man. They are intoxicated with power and the long submission of the people. The day of reckoning always comes, though. In this particular éase it is close at hand. —Cincinnati Enquirer. : ——When the Dingley tariff was arranged its.authors provided in it a means of qualifying its most repulsive features by providing for the negotiation ‘of reciprocity treaties: The republican party in convention indorsed the policy thus set forth and hailed protection and reciprocity as twins. President McKinley did his best to keep faith with the people. But the trusts have become more powerful than their creators. They refuse to keep the promise of the Dingleys and McKinleys and insist upon their pound of flesh.—Philadelphia Record. : ——The theory that the tariff is the result of mature study by experts in congress or out of it for the purpose of distributing benefits equally, and that the complete system is so perfect that it cannot be disturbed without serious harm to all its parts, is sheer nonsense or sheer trickery., It hasno basis in fact. Tariffs are the results of trade and dicker in votes, and, since votes are needed to pass tariffs, there is absolutely no other process available. There is no more principle in the whole business than there is in a mock auction or a policy drawing.—N. Y. Times, : e

PUTTING UP A JOB ON CUBA.

Private and Trust Interests at Work to Shape Legisla@ion to Their - Own Ends,

Recent dispatches from Washington have stated that the delegations from certain states have united in opposition to any law which may admitl Cuban sugar free of duty to the markets of the United States. The move- | ment is stated to be in the interests of the cultivators in those states of beet sugar, says the St. Pa?/f}lobe. On December 3 last-fhe Cuban commissioners addressed a communication to the president of the senate and the speaker of the house in which they submitted the proposal that Cuban molasses and raw sugar up to No. 16 of the Dutch standard should be admitted free to the United States and all other Cuban products at half the rates of duty on the same commodities exacted from the most favored nations. In exchange for this they declared Cuba’s willingness to admit all America’s products to the island at half the rates now prevailing on American products admitted to other countries under the favored nation clause, this willingness to be first established by the declaration of the American military governor, under whose direction the question might be submitted to the vote of the Cuban people. The commissioners asked further that a special act might be passed by congress establishing such a reciprocal tariff arrangement because the delay would be too great in the existing exigent situation in Cuba if it were to be carried out through the medium of a formal treaty after the formation of the Cuban government. There would be no objection to. such an arrangement on the part of other “most favored” nations, as diplomatic rules and usages establish, because the Cuban republic was not in existence at the time of the negotiation of the other “most favored nation” treaties, and because such treaties intend that the privileges granted under the favored mnation clause shall enly refer to gratuitous privileges, arid do not cover privileges granted on the conditions of a reciprocal advantage such as is offered by the arrangement suggested. : It is evident that private and sectional interests will use their utmost efforts to prevent the passage of such a law or of any law which will carry out to its logical and moral fulfillment the policy which underlies our intervention between Spain and Cuba. The all-potent force behind all these interests will be the sugar trust; and the present administration, like the last, will find itself confronted by the necessity of taking back water on the pledges whigh it has made. If Roosevelt has the fiber in his make-up that he is credited with having, he will withstand the efforts of all the concentrated interests, and will force the hand of congress in that respect. If he hasinot, or if the republican majority in congress itself’is not able to make good the party pledges, then the United States will be convicted before the world of having brought to an inglorious, if not a disgraceful, end a course of conduct which, if it is pursued until Cuba is safely launched on the dangerous waters of nationhood. will reflect to the enduring honor of this people.

MARK HANNA’S CONTROL.

Where the Ohio Boss Gets His Power to Dictate Nominations to

Suit Himself,

A word or two will suffice to bring out the almost complete mastery of party machinery which has fallen into the hands of the national committee since it became a continuously active body and took to itself such new and great powers, says Rollo Ogden, in Atlantic. When the chairman now calls to order a national convention he is really facing a large number, sometimes a majority, of declegates who are there because he willed them to be there. To “call” the convention has, in fact, come to be pretty nearly the same thing as deciding who shall be among the ‘called.” # % * This has especially been the case with Mr. Hanna and almost all the republican delegates from the south. They have been peculiarly his progeny for eight years past. | When he first began to look about for a profitable field in which to invest the money he had raised to nominate Mr. McKinley for the first time it was to the southern states that he turned. He “bought Reed’s niggers,” in even a more wholesale way than that in which Senator Sherman had accused Gen. Alger of buying his in 1888. Since then, in the nature of the case, that colored brigade has been absolutely under Mr. Hanna’s command. *# % % They are naturally his creatures, and the sheep of his pasture. What he does so sweepingly with them he does in a less degree and sporadically, but still effectively, with the delegates from other sections. Large numbers stand ready to do his bidding. They vote as he prays. The result is to give him enormous power in dictating nominations in advance and in molding the convention like clay to his hand. :

—The situation in congress seems to be that unless a compromise can be effected, favorable to Admiral Schley’s vindication, and which shall wipe out the slight put upon Admiral Dewey, the naval ring will be completely overhauled by a congressional investigation. Perhaps that might be the best possible result of the whole controversy. The naval ring is badly in need of an overhauling, and the public interests would be subserved by a thorough investigation, wholly apart from the Schley controversy.—Albanygrgus. _

—The principles for which Andrew Jackson stood in his day, a temperamental and-unshakable democrat, are now maintained in all resoluteness by _the party of which he was once the honored head. The same evil influence which he fought with so fiery a vigor are still a living menace to demoecratic institutions and to the ideals upon which this government was established.—St. Louis Republie.

——lf Hanna controls one branch, and Foraker the other, in the Ohio legislature, dishonors are easy.—Albany Argus.

. L e & ‘- < ] ,'-__ PR 5 ) o.\:’gg :.;.(1 B \ -sr":' .'»'.'(:?:’?:’;"‘ = \ > fi\ T -,: 4 ‘T“;EY /T =2, e ; ¢ y—— =4 -—@%——' él& ‘\%2* = % ...ZZ\.\—L—- . .—‘—b‘-'_' ! . GRANNY SQUIRREL’S ERRAND. Old Granny Squirrel had lost a tooth, And anc'vther was loose and ached—*‘Oh, my! The nuts were softer when I was small; But 11’]10W they are harder than brickbats & a ”’ % Shé said, with a tear in her eye; ‘“And Brownie, there, has enough to doy And Stripey, too, for their babies three, - Storing up shagbarks down below, - Acorns and mast ere the snows do blow, Without cracking nuts for me.” Now Dick came along, with his pockets stuffed With fresh-baked peanuts, piping hot. He ttross;ed some down at the foot of the e . . Where granny lived and the babies three, As he ran to play hop-scot. % Old granny spied; or perhaps she smelled A toothsome odor, like gingerbread; She cracked a peanut and took a bite, Then rolled her eyes with a rare delight, And tried to stand on her head. Soft and crumply, and nice and warm, To crack the shells was only fun. She shared the last with the babies three; - : Z They rubbed themselves complacently, And smiled and said: “Num! Num!”’ And ever since then old granny asks Of robin and rabbit and chickadee, Of all her neighbors wherever she goes, The birds and the squirrels and even the Crows: ; “Can you show me the peanut tree?”’ ~William J. Long, in Youth’s Companion. BRIGHT REPARTEES. - How Ready Wit and Native Shréwdness Change an Unpleasant Situation Into the Opposite. There are some people who, when anything calculated to annoy or disconcert them is said, are so embarrassed that they remain speechless. Others are equal to all emergencies, and by a ‘“dexterous leap of thought,” on the spur of the moment, say what, and what only, can extricate them from their uncomfortable -situation. This is a repartee, and represents shrewdness and genuine wit combined.

The eminent Greek scholar, Richard Porson, was once engaged in a discussion with a gentleman, at a dinner party. The gentleman remarked: ' . = " “Dr. Porson, my opinion of you is contemptible.” “Sir,” was the response, “I never knew an opinion of yours that was not contemptible.” - During a visit to one of his friends, Sheridan was asked by a maiden lady, whose years were not many more than her ways of being disagreeable, the privilege of accompanying him, as he was about starting for a walk - :

“The weather is mnot suitable - for you to be out, madam,” he said.

~ Presently: “It has cleared up,” she remarked.

“Yes,” he replied. “It has cleared up enough for one, but not enough for two;” and she remained in the house.. - )

Several ‘women called upon - Louis XV. to congratulate him on the recovery of his son from a severe illness. One of them observed:

“Had he died, we should have lost our all.” : )

The remark did not. appear to the monarch in the light of a compliment, and he frowned. Noticing the cloud on' his brow, another woman quickly added: : - “That is so, for our good king would not have survived his son’s death.” Gl :

“It is a shame,” John Randolph once said in the senate, ‘“that the bulldogs of the administration should waste- their time in worrying the rats of the opposition.” The members constituting “the opposition” groaned, hissed, and called him to order. The presiding officer ruled that he was in order, and Randolph; springing to his feet, pointed at his antagonists and screamed: “Did I say rats? I mean mice, mice, Mr. President.”—Golden Days. TRICK WITH A STICK. It Is Novel and Amusing and Any Bright Boy Can Easily Learn . to Perform It. “Give me a cane and I will make it stand unsupported in any position I please,” said a young man at an evening party recently. - A cane was handed to him, and, sitting down, he placed it between his knees. Next he stroked it up and down two or three times, meanwhile mumbling some unintelligible words, and then he took his hands away, leaving the cane in a slanting position. To the surprise of the specta-

: ‘ m‘\ \ /; O 3 Wi T i 1 T \ FM S /) ____ ) LT _— = - e —— s . £ ——— : TRICK WITH A STICK. tors, it did not fall, but remained as firm as though it were rooted to the ground. ; Everyone wanted to know how such a wonderful trick was done and the young man solemnly answered that he had magnetized the cane, and that it was his deep study of magic and magnetism which had led him to make the experiment. Finally, however, he revealed the secret,” - “Before I offered to do the trick,” he said, “I fastened to my trousers near my knees a piece of wire so thin as to be practically “invisible. When I sat down and began to stroke the cane, I began gradually to move my knees away from each other, and in this way the wire was drawn out to its full length. The cane was then leaning against it'and naturally it did not fall when I took my hands away.” ~N. Y. Herala. : ‘, v

"MIDWINTER FOUTBALL. New Form of This Favorite Sport, with the Fun Left In and Hard ~ Knocks Taken Out. 3 'lf‘o’r those who like to play football ‘on the milder days of the winter, ar;d who want lively exercise without roughness or danger or the necessity of special clothing and yet with plenty of fun and excitement, a game which has recently been contrived is admirably adapted. Its great advantage is that it needs no specially prepared field or elaborate lines, and that five on a side are plenty to make good sport, while as few as three, or as many, if the field be large enough, as 11 on a side may play. Take, for example, a game where there are five players on a side: A’s team against X'’s. All that is required is a fairly level space, a regular oval pigskin football, and two goal posts, the size of the regulation goal, but with the crosspiece only a yard from the ground. The field for -a game of five on a side _ . - : = s ok D B L e ; 1 | » ST o

DIAGRAM FOR WINTER FOOTBALL. should be approximately 80 yards long and 30 yards wide. Now suppose that A’s team has the ball. -It is placed 20 yards in front of the geal for the kick-off. A’s team lines up on a level with the ball. To cover the field well, X’s side will dispose themselves about as in the accompanying diagram. A kicks, full and fair, and the opposing team starts for the ball, which is not in play till it touches one of them. Suppose the ball flies toward Y, and he s€es that he can catch it on the fly. He may now do one of two things —either make a fair catch, or catch and run with the ball toward the opponent’s goal. In the former case he calls’ out: *‘Fair catch,” and if he catches he may, without opposition, advanee the ball five paces— It is then put in play for his side from that spot. If, however, he elects to catch and run it back, he may run with it until touched—not tackled, but merely tagged, by any man of the other team who was behind the ball when it was kicked off. The ball is then down for his side, at the spot where he was touched, and is put into play from there. If the leather is not caught on the fly.it is put into play on the spot where it is finally. stopped, but cannot be run back or advanced from there. : After the kick-off X's side has the ball, and must return it either by punt or drop kick The kicking s done in the alphabetical order of names, each player taking his turn. The first kick for X’s side is therefore by .V, and the ball is turned over to him by whatever player caught it -~ or .‘stopped-it. -He may return it from the spot where it was “down,”. or- from any part of the field not forward of that line. For A’s side, B has next kick; then comes W,. then C, then X, then D, and so on. Any player may catch and advance the ball, but only -the one whose turn it is may kick. . 'The ngect is,. of course, to gain ground, and to return the ball into a part of the field not covered by the enemy’s formation, If the ball goes out of the side lines, it is put in play from the line where it crossed through the boundaries. Presently one side will have worked the ballfar enough down to try for goal. The trial may be either by punt or drop kick. The ball must go between the air space marked by the goal posts at any height over the crossbar, but it does not count a goal if it be caught on the fly by the defenders of the goal behind the goal line. If the trial for goal fails the otheér side punt out from their goal line. Remember that the trial for goal may always be made from directly in front, as the ball may be carried straight across the field in either di. rection after a down before Kicking. After a goal the side defending the goal kicks off again. If the ball is successfully carried by one side behing the opposing goal line, it may be brought out directly in front of the goal for a kick for goal. It will be found that after a little practice the passing and kicking will be very fast, and will keep both sides on the jump to cover the field and prevent the ball from being run back too far. Quickness and accuracy of judgment, sureness of catch, fleetness of -foot and ability to place punts, four of the most valuable qualities in regular football, will soon be developed by this game, which is lively enough to furnish plenty of excitement and exercise. If desired, interference may form and protect the man running with the ball, though this makes the play rougher.—Boston Globe. = e Going Easy. : ' “He is dying very calmly;” observed the physician, as he felt the pulse of the sufferer. . “So Hke John,” softly spoke the prospective widow. “He always was an easy-going man.” — Baltimore American. 4 e ' Boarding House Joys. “Do you ever have to go to bed on an empty stomach?” asked the first boier, . ~ “Yes; and what’s worse,” said the second boarder, “on an empty mab