Ligonier Banner., Volume 24, Number 23, Ligonier, Noble County, 19 September 1889 — Page 7

Y .". e ”"“‘:J The Zigonier Lamuer, : LIGONﬁR, iyl INDIANA, . e ee A T, S R USIONITS : THE FARMER’S BOY. | — - O%Vtell meLnot of city beaux, ot S " Who strut about with dyed mustaches, ' Who owe the tailor for the clothes. : In which they cut their extra dashes. - “‘The city fop I ne'er will choose i To tread with me the path of life, sir. ' /And shou:f he woo, I'd e’errefuse; ' - - I'd scorn to be a dandy’s wife, siz, o % & | 4 - £ _'The farmer boy with ruddy face, : Whose aurfd is brown with toil and tan, sir, Whose brow is wet with honest sweat, Is my idf,al of a man, sir. : g " He knows(ms place, and feels disgrace Is not attached to hornest labor, x He is a blessing to his race, - A A goodur mun, a kindly neighbor, : Ne'er sing to me of city boys ‘Who walk the streets so very grandly, Polite whene'er they meet the rieh, : And bow and smile so. very blandly. _The lowly’poor they never see, p And needy one whenever meeting They coldly pass, 'tis not genteel , To have|a heart with kindness beating, . Then oh “he farmer’s boy for me! ‘ - He holds communion sweet with nature; He roams the fields with joyous glee, - All blithe of limb and tall of stature. For him t*le fairest blossoms bloom, ‘Upon the air their fragrance breathing; For him shall maidens gather flowers, - . Around his brow their garlands wreathing. For him the brook goes laughing by, ; The rip%ling rill and murmuring river; : For him the stars bedeck the sky, ; ' Their glory shining o’er him ever. For him the feathered songsters send . Their joyous music on the breezes; Their notes harmonious ever blend, 4 ‘To form, a lay his heari that pleases. . Then oh for me the farmer's boy, ’ ' The one|in every truth most wealthy, ; The man whose heart is light with joy. Whose ruddy face bespeaks him he*hy. The farmei’s boy whose wealth of mini : Shows that he learns just what he can, sir, Whose heart is-ever true and kind—- . He's my ideal of a man, sir. B t —Ohio Farmer, Lk L ————————————— . TQ : A MISPLACED PARROT. The Mischief ~Wrought by One | Feathered ZFriend. :

+ there is one thing in this world I hate it is a parrot.. Had Edgar Poe known my experiences he would have called _hr; famous poem ¢The Parrot.” No ' raven was ever such' a ‘‘bird or fiend,” 'in my case, as 'was a gray parrot. | My wrongs are all revivified by that execrated phrase. Malediction on fh’q race! ' .

I was| always an enthusiastic ass in one thing. My cynical friend Badger, who, on the strength of having once (prbbabﬁy during the temporary insanity of the sub-editor left in charge) got an article; which he said was original into the Scarifier, sets up for a satirist, says ‘‘one thing” is a need‘less limitation. Let that pass. My enthusiasm took the form of volunteer‘ing to execute commissions for ladies. Of course Ispeak of my salad days. And were I frivolous like Badger 1 might add, a pretty mess my salad turned out. But so it was. And when a manis in love he very frequently. becomes 1 greater fool than Carlyle could have imagined. And I was in Jove—deeply and devotedly, with every prospeéi‘t of happiness—till an accursed - fowl ruined all my chonces. = What, a pretty creaure Alice Hillstone was! Tall and rounded, hands and feet, like an Andalusian’s, eyes of the darkest brown, hair raven-hued. lips like cherries and a walk like Juno’s! I saw her and loved her. And she loved me. -At any rate she said she did when I got her and that old \witch of a mother of hers a card for Lady Highflyer’s dance, through youiig Highflyer having borrowed my halfyear’s salary to pay his account after the Dei'by day, and my representing, like an lass again, this card would be quid prjo quo, and, indeed, from then till now it is the only liquidation of the debt he has ever suggested or will suggest. j ‘ ,

Mrs, Hillstone was well off but vulgar. Not in society; they lived in Bloomsbury in a big gaudily-furnished house and had -as common-place a set of stupid acquaintances as a man could well do penance by associating with. ' But Alice made up for all. "I was in a ' government office of rather' an exclusive kind (and that's about all I have to thank my influential relatives for), and had the entree to some good houses. " 1 spent most of my spare time at Bloomsbury, and dined there very often, enduring the conversation of Mrs. Hillstone’s late husband’s city friends and | the vulgarities of their ostentatious wives and daughters till I really wondered .I wasn’t turned into a commercial man. I hated—oh, how I hated! the very name of the bank rate of alder- | . men, of ‘“warm’ people, of floating companies ‘par,”” and all the rest of it. None of them knew any thing about, the opera, the Academy, the scandals of the day or the society papers. And I knew nothing of their jargon and hated their odor of money. But Alice, the | incomparable, was like a violet amid netties, and I knew she ultimately | would inherit the Bloomsbury and other houses, to say nothing of -some consols, for I had examined the probate of the defunct Hillstone’s will—a fact which 1 kept to myself, however. ~ Well, things went on very satisfac- - lily, when one day to my sorrow the conversMjon turned on bizds, and Mrs. Hillsttrne said she had heard of a wonderful parrot from one of her city friends which the owner would not part with. Somewhere in the wilds of Bethnal Green this individual lived. and had refused offers innumerable for ~ bis poerless bird; “and Mr, Philton,” ~ eoutinued my prospective mother-in- | law, F mﬁfﬂni:il;ﬁw*if’l%g ’ave ~ sucha bird. Money's no objeck, you . which I ‘aven't many, but, L don’t know. © bow tosetaboupit” B Ll il bR N e b e 4 g T T Y B ey e Sl P A e ites. e

as cheering an experiencs as that which -the conventional = Frenchman thinks presented by Waterloo bridge in November. Through amaze of sordid and crowded streets I wended my unwilling way, with many doubts as to the route and not a few remarks, by no means sotte voce, on the natives’ part on my appearance, and the glass in my eye, which 'seemed .to act on them as an irritant. Ultimately in a very grimy street with many stalls of, 1 suppose, vegetable produce, I found the shop where the -parrot was for sale. 1 went in, and the mere odor ‘which greeted me was in itself a test of my love for Alice. Cats, rats, birds, rabbits and guinea pigs were in profusion, and a liberal allowance of chain permitted a fox terrier of the most active disposition to snap at my legs, causing me to jump aside on a pen of Cochin Chinas, which I upset, and my own equanimity also, just when I most required it for a diplomatic triumph. The proprietor, a very grimy and morose man, in a slouched hat and dirty shirtsleeves, and puffing, I think, the very rankest shag I ever smelt, stood behind his counter eyeing me silently. When I had replaced the Cochin Chinas in their position, which didn’t improve my gloves, Ibroached my errand and said I had heard of a parrot which was rather accomplished, negligently hinting I had had many experiences of similarly talented birds, and might, at a fair price, buy it; to all of which the proprietor made no reply, but smoked contemplatively and looked at me somewhat sardonically. At last he condescended to reply, at the same time refilling his pipe: “If ever yer saw a parrot, mister, to ekal mine, I'm a Dutchman.”’ 1 This was a point I had not come to discuss. But it was necessary to pro- | pitiate him; so I observed I had heard the bird was a fine talker. - “Torker!” answered the proprietor, scornfully, ‘‘why, she'd tork any bloomin’ masher's head off,” with a personal application which was marked, ‘‘and French as well as English, answer questions, tell the time; in fact, the ’ole bag o’ tricks. Tork, indeed!” ““And what is the price of the bird?”’ said 1, coming to the poiglt. © “The price of that bird is twenty pun—and no less.” , “This was rather a ‘facer.” I was determined, on the great principle of the sprat for the salmon, to pay for the bird out of my own pocket, and magnanimousdy insist on refusing to take a farthing, presenting it to dear Mrs. Hillstone (old wretch) as a proof of my regard and esteem. But twenty pounds! nothing, of course, to that well-to-do vulgarianess, if I may coin a word, but to. me, who had a limited salary and unlimited tastes, a great deal. However; it was quite clear the individual before me- was not to be diplomatized into any reduction of price. So, after a brief inward struggle, I resolved to pay the money and get in some way an enormous profit for the expenditure afterward. 3

“You say the bird talks French and English?” | Lot i . “Yes. Find one like ’er, mister, if you can.” i ’ *‘And is in good health and plumage?’ I added, congratulating myself on.my business-like aptitude.

“Why, yer don’t think I'm such a bloomin’ fool as to _:keep my birds in bad ’elth, do yer?” said this truculent man, while the fox terrier growled carniverously, “I’m an honest man, I am.” * ) I really felt in this wild region somewhat nervous, especially as some of the natives were looking into the shop. So to close the interview, Isaid: <Well, I'll give you the price you ask.” . The proprietor made no movement and looked at me silently, then quietly remarked, ‘I know yer won't.”’ I felt annoyed, but he was too tormidable for me to show my annoyance. Did he doubt my ability to produce the | cash? Calming myself I repeated, ¢TII pay twenty pounds to you for that§ bird.” o : : “I know yer won't,”’ repeated the proprietor, and some of his friends laughed appreciatively. ' ““And why mnot, then?” sgaid I, haughtily —at which they laughed’ ajgain, and most offensively. “Cos that there bird’s sold.” 3 *Sold?"’ Irepeated, while the audience laughed more than ever, and one, the wit, I suppose, with brutal famili-| arity, said: *“‘And so are you!"

- “Why didn’t you say so?"’ I replied, to which the proprietor answered, he s'posed 'cos I didn’t ask him, which caused another ebullition of merriment. To be the cause of wit in others is unpleasant anywhere, in my opinion, but in the case of a Bethnal Green group: particularly annoying. O that ridiculous enthusiasm of mine! i . However, I was really in doubt what to do, for, having said T'd buy the old woman a parrot, I didn’t choose after a flourish on my own trumpet—the only performance, by the way, Badger says in which I shine—but let that pass —to go back and confess my diplomacy ata discount. e | . *That there bird’s sold to a party in Russell square,” the proprietor continued, but I heeded him not, though I did " afterward. © What was the best ‘thing to do? *“Buy a bird of some sort ‘and pass it off as the Simon pure,” ‘said expediency. At what a tangled web we weave when, etc. Had I never listened to expediency’s voice—but you can find out the moral of this story for yourself. e g - “I want to buy a parrot,” said I, ‘‘of ‘some sort—a good talker, and h?dg ‘some bird, and as like the one you’ve soid as you've got.” - *“Ere's the identical,” said the bird seller, producing a cage containing & good looking bird enough, which he would not swear, and was as handsome ad dis Rl square. ones ! The prics was two_pounds, and. another for the | elgns, got ‘with some difficulty (a small mubofchildren fol e ok s £oing 10 poel s’ Mﬁwﬁ"*”% vﬁ%w whlih iy wibehise Wit semurd o 10

‘Hillstone the rext day at dinner, there being a collection of her *“warm” friends presens, ‘1 am very much obliged to you for your ’andsome parrot, but I didn’t want you to make me 80 valuable a present..” - : ~ %0, my dear Mrs. Hillstone,” said I, availing myself of this opening dextrously, lam sure twenty pounds is nothing when one gives any thing to an esteemed friend like you.” v “Twenty pounds for a parrot! my ‘word!” said young Ruggle of the Poultry. *lsay, Dynley, I thought no one but you would run to that figure for a bird. Ain’t that what you gave for yours? , ‘ Mr. Dynley, an inoffensive and henpecked man whom I knew little of, muttered something inaudible and blushed, while Mrs. Hillstone, to my great delight, took up the dialogue. ‘1 dare say you wouldn't spend your money so foolishly on any-friend, Mr. Ruggle. I shouldn’t think that at all likely,” she said, /incisively, and for once I ‘felt grateful for her Madame Angot style of emphasis, for young Ruggle was effectually, snubbed. But hang him, he had hiton a very ticklish subject, for I had my suspicions, and they were soon changed to certainty. “Where does Mr. Dynley live? 1 asked of my neighbor, a’ prettyish insipid girl, who went regularly to the museum to copy casts. i 3 “In Russel square. Mrs. Dynley is a great friend ot ours,’’ she answered, she is so fond of birds.” ' - Just what I thought! Russell square that truculent bird fancier had said. Of course there are more parrots than one, but a much smaller proportion of fools who would give twenty pounds for one. It might not be the same, but I shrewdly surmised it was. But after all, who was to know any thing? Only 1 remembered with some misgivings that my fair Alice had a most abnormal attachment te candor, and had over and over again apropos des bottles declared she ocould forgive any thing rather than deceit. My little stratagem of course did not deserve that name, but after asserting I had paid twenty pounds for a specific bird of the first water, it would certainly be most an-. noying if it turned out by any mishap that the real transaction came to light. At this moment I heard Mrs. Dynley, who had a masculine voice, well assorting with the rule she exercised overher husband, asserting thather parrot, sent her by a friend, who was an amateur fancier (I breathed freely again), was a wonderful bird. To whom Mrs. Hillstone replied, smiling broadly: i i ; *“Ah! my poor Polly is as charming —it’s. a famous bird—and I shall always thank; Mr. Phiiton for® having given it to me. Yates, bring it in” (Yates was a page of preternatural precocity, and much trusted by the old lady), *‘and let us hear it talk,” .

"We were in the dessert stage now, and the wine, I must say, was really very superior to that a good deal farther ‘West, so that the assembled company were in a leisurely and appreciative mood. Young Ruggle smiled sarcastically when Mrs. Hillstone wasn’t looking, and Alice saw him and flashed one scornful glance at him which much delighted me. For I had a sortof a notion that he had an idea of trying to win that exquisite girl, and he was certainly richer (and well he might be, grubbing oger some business about sugar from morn till night!) than I His chief diversion was foot ball, a rough, blundering pursuit whieh I abhorred, as mine was billiards, when a pool of fellows with a few sovereigns about them can be made. Butthisisa digression, only I mention it to show how very antipathetic we were, for he had a blunt style of conversation which he called ‘‘honesty,” as he called diplomacy ‘‘trickery,’” so that we loved each other like a couple of rival terriers. In marched Yates, the big cage in his hand, which he placed near his mistress’ chair. ¢“Poor Polly,” said Mrs. H. soothingly, running her finger over the wires, which Polly with great agility made a spring at, with the evidentinfention of biting as uncompromisingly as she could. *‘Poor Polly,” repeated the old lady caressingly, while Polly sat with glittering eyes fixed on her, but deigned no response. ‘‘Shedoes not seem very loquacious,’”’ was heard in Mrs.Dynley’s contralto tones. Alice “ooked vexed, and Mrs. Hillstone looked at Mrs. Dynley somewhat acid+ ly, while Dynley himself drank his port ‘surreptitiously, glad that his wife's eyes were off him for the time and on this hostess: ; :

*‘Where did you buy this bird, Mr. Philton?” said the lady to me. ; I hesitated, but made a virtue of boldness: ‘‘From an old acquaintance of mine,”” Isaid; she is a splendid linguist.” : St 2 i “Just now she seems to-think silence is golden,” said Mrs. Dynley, 'with a titter. And the parrot-gave a screech that set all ones nerves on edge, ‘and called out, *“I'll warm yer!” a phrase, I suppose, picked up from the maternal endearments of her former locality.

“Poor Polly,’”’ as Mrs. Hillstone affectionately called her, did not for some days add any thing to the vulgar remark which is just chronicled, and she and Alice were untiring in their: ‘efforts to make her talk, but she said: ‘nothing and showed a vile temper. “Do you know,” said Alice, 'with charming sympathy, *lbegin to think you’ve been imposed on, Mr. Philton, by that wicked bird fancier;but,”’ with a smile that was enchanting, ‘‘whether or not, I think it so kind of you to please poor mammasgo.'’ . i .~ Ttook my courage in' both hands, though a thrill of fear ran through me ‘ather first 'words. ‘‘Ah, Alice,” I said tenderly, ‘‘don’t you, think I'd do. any thing to please her, if it pleased y‘)ﬂ.' gt #' ,43',; ; Lises 4 Sho blushed, not displeased, and let. |me retain her hand a moment. I G e s e i 0 e 9 LBt it Xaiek dhebuing. [ s itovin and il isgistiud e cuci itadole Tust sAI b ont ee e e e SR

‘moment her once suying she like& him ‘despite his want of polish, for he was ‘go genuine.”” So he wgs—a genuine cub in society, whatever he was in the Poultry. ) T “And how’s the wonderful Polly?" said he after a few minutes to my great annoyance. s : . *She still holds her tongue,”’ said Alice, as her mother entered. - “Yes,” said the poor old lady, *‘she is a very naughty bird. But that's not Mr. Philton’s fault, is it Polly?”’ . *“Dear me,’’ said that foot-ball fiend with sham commisseration; *:it’s rather hard ou you, Philton. Twenty pounds you gave, I think you said?”’ : *I did say so, Mr. Ruggle,” I answered, coldly, and, thought I, *‘that’s a correct answer anyhow.”’ : ‘‘Have you seen Mrs. Dynley’s parrot, Mrs. Hillstone?’’ he said, with an equal amount of sham enthusiasm. "¢*No,”” said she, tartly, *‘and I don’t want to,”’ much to my inward relief. “Ah!”’ said Ruggle, ‘‘she’s a splendid bird, talks French and English, and sings songs; you ought to see her.”’ I really don’t know which I most wished to murder, Ruggie, that a,c-’ cursed bird moping on his perch, or that wretch at Bethnal Green. At least he promised me a bird that could talk for my two pounds. But I dissembled and sat Ruggle out. When he had gone I saw, much to my regret, that the poison had begun to work on Mrs. H., who began to show her envy of Mrs. Dynley, though vowing she wouldn’t please her by going to see her parrot. Soon she left the room, anhd I took up the running again. Alice, I think, pitied me for my dis-. appointment, and was proportionately charming. At last I got. so far as to actually tell her I loved har and she bade me wait a week for am answer, though from her blush and smile I had not much doubt as to what her answer would be.

*ln a.week then, dearest, I may hope for yo% answer. I'm going to Eastbourne to see my cousins for that time, and then—O, Alice! Thope you'll make me bhappy,” 1 said as I pressed her hand and went away. As I closed the door Polly screeched out again, ¢l'll warm yer.” I did not go to Eastbourne, nor ever meant to, for 1 hate my cousins, but it sounded well. But I stayed away from Bloomsbury. A night or two later I was dining at a well-known restaurant, when Mr. Dynley, who had got rid of his wife for a few hours, came in and sat at the next table. We got into conversation. “Do you know,” said ~he, ‘‘our parrot is a wonder? Everybody admires her. - She was well worth the money I gave.” : ; I thought,” said.l with hideous forebodings, “your wife had hers as a gift from an amateur.” «*Ah,” said he smiling, “that was a little ruse. My cousin Jim, poor fellow, is not in her good beooks, so by buying the bird and giving it to him to present to my wife I've bettered his position. But I bongl# her in'Bethnal Green for £2O, just what you gave for yours.” 4 ; ' I made no reply. This was a nice discovery. One ray of hope remained. ‘*Has Mrs. Hillstone seen your parrot?”’ I asked with assumed -carelessness. - \

“No,”" said he, there’s, in fact, some coolness between the ladies just now.” O, blessed relief! I resolved to make assurance doubly sure, and the next morning found me at the bird fancier’s. I suggested to him that, if at any time any inquiry should by chance be made, I should be obliged by his stating that the parrot I had boughs cost twenty pounds, in consideration of which, on the next quarter day, if such inquiry were made, I would hand him the balance; and if none were made I would give him two sovereigns. To this he agreed, and I went home with a light heart. X :

Three days now remained, and they fled on wings. On the fourth I went, having made myself as presentable as possible, to: the Hillstones, and was shown into an empty drawing room-— empty save for the vulgar parrot, who eyed me most malevolently. And then Alige came in, her face flushing and paling. I hurried to Her and tried to take her hand, especially as I heard the;approaching cackle of the old lady. But Alice changed to-a statue of ice. “Do not ‘ask me for an answer, Mr. Philton,” she said, ‘I detest deceit!” Just then in came her mother, not at all dignified, but. most vituperative at ‘being, as she vulgarly called it; ‘‘made a'fool'of.” Then it came out in a sort of duet that by persuasionr of Mr. Ruggle (ah, that execrable name!) they had visited Mrs. Dynley and heard the ‘story of * her parrot’s purchase by: the cousin Jim and the vendor’s address, which unluckily for me was -at the ‘bottom of my cage, thus showing my Dbird and I were hollow shams. o

- 1 Strong in my knowledge of ‘having :“squared” the bird fancier, I indig‘nantly denied the fact and repeated the story of my £2O, when Mrs. H. violently pulled the bell, and Yates ushered in the wretch from Bethnal Green himself, to whom the old lady ‘turned for his story. { “I'm a honest man, I am,” said this ruffian, “and thought there wasa little game afoot agin my old customer, Mr. Dynley, who's a good customer.” And ‘then the sordid villain told the whole ‘story, including my attempt to bribe | As I left the house that low, vulgar -beast of & bird crooned out, “I'll warm yerl ZBEIAVIe. L .+ Wanted to See Bella Jump. 1 - Bobby (who has been sitting pationt1y halt an hour,—Mr. Boomer, I wish ¥ou would pop the guestion to Bella. "~ Bolla—Robert, you naughty boy, ‘what possessed you to make such a ARy M R I M g L S S A ?%mam %1 | Bobby (silkily)—Well,, sayway, ma A or'djume s the shatve yasd L mantan- o, 845 you JuAch, TEwed e at e ki v it b g il Moide o fuaisartion i, giorigei ggsw%%éswgaxnﬁav«giﬁ‘}w*«%9vfw zé‘w*’a“?* e ud""“a’k;‘w",’ i iy ﬁ m

THE DEBT STATEMENT. Harrison’s Waste of Revenues in Order to . Keep Up Taxation. - : The form of public-debt statement issued under President Cleveland was such as to show at a glance the actual finances of the country. The Republican Administration is beginning to find this extremely inconvenient. Any form of statement which shows actual conditions shows that the debt is being increased by the great increase of expenses under Mr. Harrison. His policy, announced in his party platform and in his own inaugural, is to speund the revenues in order to keep the taxes. The constant tendency in departments managed on this policy is to exceed appropriations and créate a deficit. In the second month of the fiscal year the Administration has managed to increase the debt $6,000,000. The record of debt management for July and August, 1889, is $18,000,000 to the disadvantage of the Administration when compared with the record of the same months last year. When these facts appear from the debt statement made September 1, the Globe-Democrat declares that = the form of the statement should be changed. *‘Treasurer Huston,” it says, *‘is thinking seriously of returning to the old style again,”” on the ground that such a change “will be a great relief to many people interested in the financial condition of the United States.” ik . No doubt it will. It will relieve Mr. Harrison and Corporal Tanner, as well as all who find high taxes a blessing; all who believe a deficit or a debt an evidence of prosperity, and all who are in any way interested in first humbugging the peoplein order to swindle them afterwards. : But this is not & consistent attitude for Mr. Harrison. He has boldly assumed that it is advisable to spend at once all surplus ﬁoney in the Treasury. He has not promised t>.increase the debt, but if it is a good thing to waste money already in hand, it is even a better thing tocreate a deficit, and to go deeper in debt. If he is sincere, he ought to give the widest possible publicity to every deficit. and every increase of debt he creates. Should he attempt concealment by jugglery in the debt statement, he will convict himself ot full knowledge of the wrong of wasteful and extravagant administration of his public trust.— St. Louis Republic. ; :

THE LOUISIANA VICTORY. Failure of the First Republican Attempt ; to Corrupt the New South. It is very fortunate for the flannelmouthed Republican campaign orators who have been stumping the Third Congressional distriet of Louisiana that a negro named Jacobs. wads grazed by a bullet in a personal quarrel at the polls in Franklin. For this is all that is left them to talk about. The district, which they have tried so hard to proselyte, has gone Democratic by a good majority, thousands of negroes voting the Democratic ticket. . The election was entirely peaceful, and the only marked feature of it was the large vote polled for an off election. Ic seems probable that a greater number of white veters cast their lot with the Republicans than before, but this was because Minor, the Republican candidate, made a distinctively white man’s campaign, solicited white votes in his speeches and carried out literally the Harrisonian policy of neglecting the colored electors and doing all that was possible to divide the white vote. o The Republican interest in the election was aroused by a desire to increase the narrow majority of three, by which they hold the Fifty-first Congress. The success of Mi. Price, the Democratic candidate, reduces the Republican majority to two, the Laird vacancy being still unfilled. ‘The Third district was formerly Republican, and was one of the last spots in the South that the carpetbaggers surrendered. It used to repose snugly in" the vest pocket of the notorious William Pitt Kellogg, and he represented it in Congress as recently as 1883-5. ' i - The first Republican attempt to smash the solid South having failed, the Administration and its lackeys will now be free to turn their undivided attention to Virginia, where all vßepubl‘ican campaign ' meetings open to the martial strains of *‘Dixie,”” and where the Republican candidate for Governor favors pensions for Confederate soldiers. : i e But until the Republican party South becomes something besides a makeshift and fraud, simply useful as a factor in the elections in lowa and Kansas, the. solid South will ' remain unbroken.—Detrois Free Press. S

1 TANNER'S DOWNFALL. .54 The Boss Surplus Buster’s Official - Career : : ~‘Cut Short.’ Q There is good riddance of bad rubbish.” Thanks to Secretary Noble, ‘who left the President the alternative of acgepting his resignation or compelling Tanner’s, ‘the -bloviant Commissioner of Pensions, who had no' just comprehension of the duties of his ‘office’ and mo respect. for the law’ whichhe was supposed to administer, is functus officio. It .was the Secre- . tary of the Interior, not the President,’ ~who discovered firmness in this mat-' ter.. He found the Commissioner, the ‘;. President’s: . personal appointment, surrounding himself by a lusty: lot of -beggars; who immediately commenced the re-rating of their stipends. Hesaw ‘him cheek by jowl with the great pen‘slon attorneys who are piling up fort_unes by assisting ‘pension raids upon _the Treasury. ‘He'heard the ceaseless jabberabouthis policy, his purpose, his plans, and when he ‘made remon‘strance he found the Commissioner soe i R R G R U T R S e puffed up:in his own eonceit that he ks Ewoniteiny ol e dutoslon . (e issue. . Ho.himself in his time “has e Gab'd fbite OF the "Pavnee TEAT %%mﬁ% s RO s e R TR R T e e o thie wall. The héad of the Grand

Tanner: ‘‘Don’t resign; stand firm.” But the corporal, the commander, the Grand Army, and the gathering hosts of greedy pension claimants are routed by a Secretary of the Interior who preferred self-respect to continus ance in office. :

Whatever of party embarrassment there is in this situation the President has brought upon it. He selected for Commissioner of Pensions a man notoriously unfit for any executive place. Tacitly at least he encouraged his flagrant exhibitions of insubordination and his constant appearance before the country as a'surplus ‘‘buster.” And but for the manly stand of Secretary Noble the President would still be found giving countenance to this mischievous fellow. The sirrepressible Private Dalzell, scouting the suggestion of the corporal's removal, cfled out: ‘“No, sir; he will not be removed. 1f he were removed Foraker would decline to remain on the ticket in Ohio. His doom would be sealed from that hour. The soldiers are swearing mad; howling, cursing, damning mad, atthe malice and jealousy of the aristocrats who are hounding our comrade to his death. Woe, woe to them if they down Tanner, for, by the God that rules and reigns, if they touch a hair ofhis head we will scalp every man of them.”’ A

Tanner is downed. The President seeks to make his fall easy by throwing him into a soft place, but he is down. The earth will not be convulsed, though Dalzell so .declares, but an ugly situation is created forthe President’s party by the President himself. Foraker, who bade Tauner *“Stay with ’em, Jim,”’ will have a bad halfhour, but he will go on with his canvass just the same. —Chicago Times.

" CURRENT COMMENT., ——Raising- a corruption fund to bribe voters is now known as ‘‘Wanamakering’’ an election.—Albany Argus. - ——The Democratic policy is to enforce frugality in public expense and abolish unnecessary taxation.—Cleveland Plain Dealer. : :

——Corporal Tanner loses a friend every time he opens his mouth, and Tanner has no friends to spare.—Buffalo Express (Rep.). ' ——The Republjican party is exhibiting signs of unwonted activity in Marshall, Mo. During the last month numerous henneries have been raided and about five hundred chickens stolen. —St. Louis Republic. . . ; ——The tariff, we have been told, is the source and fountain of prosperity. What is stopping the flow? We have ft turned on in abundance, with an average tax of 47 per ‘cent. on every thing, and ‘' yet somehow the prosperity is not forthcoming. —Brooklyn Citizen. k $

——Mahone’s resolutions in Virginia pledge the Republican party’s ‘“sympathy and succor to-the disabled exConfederates or the widows and orphans of dead Confederate soldiers.’” Break it gently to Foraker! Tell it softly to the bloody-shirt shakers!— N. Y. World.

. ——GQGeneral William Mahone’s prediction that he will be elected Governor of Virginia by a majority of 40,000 votes seems to excite more enthusiasm than confidence in the {Republican party. Yet we have. never doubted that Mahone’s word was as good as his oath. — Chicago News (Ind.)-_ - :

——The Republican party is fast pushing its great men to the front. ‘With Fort Pillow Chalmers as its candidate tor Governor of Mississippi, and Mahone leading the Repubdkcan hosts of West Virginia, the g. o. p. has placed two of its choicest representatives in the front rank.—lonia (Mich.) Standard. . ; ——The platform of the North Dakota Republicans can not be considered as an indorsement of the wideopen policy ot Corporal Tanner respecting pensions. It . favors the “granting equitable and liberal pensions _to all' honorably discharged soldiers and sailors.”’ 'This, although too sweeping, is a very different thing from granting pensiong irrespective of honorable or A{%ishonorable discharge.—Chicago erica. (Ind.).

Mr. Noble’s First Assistant.

When the Secretary of the Interior has succeeded in ridding himself of Tanner, he ought to devote serious consideration to the operations of his own First Assistant, Mr. Cyrus Bussey. i There seems to be something of the ‘same temperament in Bussey that hasbrought Tanner into trouble. Both 'men are possessed of the idea that they can override the rules of their. own departments and even the statute: lawg\ﬁzhenever they feel disposed to ‘doso. Mr. Oberly’s exposure of the :manner in which Mr. Bussey is interfering with and overriding the management of the Indian Bureau—commented upon by us. recently—shows what kind of a man Secretary 4 Noble's first assistant.is. This is the first opportunity the public has had ‘to judge of Mr. Bussey's qualification for public office, for, like nearly all the other men whom this Administra‘tion has lifted into official promi‘neuce, he was an unknown man at the time of his appointment,-and, so far ‘as public knowledge of him went, had shown no fitness for the work to ‘which he was. assigned.—N. Y. Post

' “* True Democratic Principles. ' The?e is no uncertain tane about the platform of the Ohio Democracy, but bold, fearless, steadfast adherence ‘tc ‘true Democratic principles. Those whc ‘expected or predicted that the Demo. L.{‘cm_t,iggpa.;:g; wounld take a backward seat on tariff reform will be compelied LL 9 chapge their: opinions on reading thefollowing uncompromising declarat %’*@;@ﬁmlﬁ@ susk v 3 AR P tﬁmm»mnwmmmﬁm esem d%“mgggﬁ %%g ?!!?9’“‘.%3 prinei-. et mkay by th x tional Demoot g% % \ Ammandiuravanssion oL WU RS Wenil egontinue This baltle for tariff reform ntil the ;jgv’“‘ P Jon WAI S %éﬁ‘*aﬁwﬁ%ﬂm*ﬁ~«w‘tw@'ﬁ RERATATC N S %Af% X ;.w: ¥ e;;é ”3& L‘,ﬁ* »%»Ag’r,f«% ;wg"u Aok i e R e

PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS. - —The typographical error which put ‘fool-selling” for ‘‘pool-selling’’ was aot so far wrong as a matter of fact. —The literary man who has writlen only jone book generally spends the rest of his life talking about it.—Somerville Journal. : —He—“Will you marry me?” She (coglly)—¢Noj; nor I won't be a sisier, either. You're too young.”’ He—*Will you be a grandmother to me, then?’’ — Epoch. e . —The vegetarian who will not eat meat doesn’t object to wearing leather shoes. Tender-heartedness seems to be something more than skin deep.— Puck. —lt is easy to tell any qne else how to get along. Men who write how to become healthy, wealthy and wise never saw a well day, never had a cent, and don’t know a little bit..— Jamestown Journal. e —There are almost as many officeseekers as.there are amateur photographers in the United States, but the office-seekers can't take a negative like the photographers do.— Washington Critie. : : - —Mrs. Muggins (reading)—*Every man gets the wife that heaven intended for him.” Mr. Muggins (musingly)— *lt must ‘be true, then, that men are punished in this world for their sins.” —N. Y. Weekly. . —Drug clerks -ought to have good salaries. I'ne man who hurts his con: science 1,000 times a day by saying: ““We do not keep it; but we have a preparation put up by ourselves that is better,” should be well paid.—N. O. Picayune. .

—®o you know Smifkins?” ‘ ¢Yes,’ replied the young woman to whom the question was addressed. ‘I have met him.”” _+*He claims ‘to look down on society‘?’ ' “Does he? Well, I've observed that society does as much for him.”—Merchant Traveler. : —She—*‘Of course the féminine half of humanity is the smarter. If not, how do you account for the fact that at the age when a man is still a gawky oy the woman has reached her selfpgssession and intellectual maturity?’’ Hg¢—*l don’t know, unless it is because he hasn’t so far to go.”’—Terre Haute

Express. “ .—‘“‘Augustus,”’ said Mrs. Henpeck severely, ‘I see a woman down in New Jersey has been convicted of being a common scold. I should like to see any brute of a man try that on me!” “But you are no common scold, Maria!” responded Mr. Henpeck, with a sigh. And Mrs. Henpeck is still wondering what he meant.-—Life. —A “‘fast”” man undertook to tease & clergyman, and asked him, ‘‘Was it a male or a female calf that was killed for the prodigal son?’ ¢A female,” promptly replied the divine. “How do you know that?” <Because,’’— looking the interrogator steadily in the face—*ll see that the male is alive now.”’—Exchange. - : —When the Shah left England he said to the Prince of Wales: It isa great pity that Persia is so far from England, otherwise I could come and see you more frequently.” - “Yes,’’ replied Wales, ‘‘but there is some consglation in the fact that the less frequent your visits are the more they are appreciated.”—Texas Siftings. —_———— - The Origin of the Sash. v

The broad sash which the young man of the period now wears is of Spanish and Mexican origin, and, as worn by the greaser dude of the Rio Grande, is a broad scarf tied at the side with flowing ends. Since they have become fashionable with the American youth the tying in some instances is dispensed with, and the sash, which preSents a broad front, is a delusion and a snare, and, like the butterfly necktie, is made up and finishes in the back, where it is concealed by the coat, in a small belt and buckle to keep it on. For the young man whose shapé does not allow of hig getting along without the use of suspenders, the sash is not ‘a thing of beauty’ or a joy forever.”” . If he ties his sash tight enough to keep his trousers in place it will collapse and be like a limp string in size, and if he allowsits broad folds to engircle his abdomen loosely ° then he iseqrf/%ortal fear that his trouseérs will drop off, so he is never entirely. happy. 1 saw one real sweet young man the other day, and he had * his sash arranged with a sort of martin~ gale. The sash was very broad, and he had his four-in-hand necktie come - down and meet his sash, and pinned to it witha society pin. I wouldun’t be surprised if the sash was also pinned to his trousers, so that the whole weight was brought on his neck, for he walked with a sort of round-shouldered gait, and didn’t look &s if he was enjoying himself a bit.—N. Y. Mail and Express. -

- A SENSIBLE WEDDING. How a Thrifty Yotng Man and His Bride ‘Surprised His Friends. 1 One way to get married and take a tour: The two young people are not at all rich. ‘' They are going to live in four rooms up-siairs in a little suburban house. Neither one had a home, and when they made up their minds to be married they began, first of all, to save from their earnings to furnish for themselves a corner which they could call home. = Several weeks before their ‘wedding they engaged their rooms, and enjoyed furnishing them and visite ing them together quite as much as if they were arranging a mansion to live in. They moved their trunks the morning of the wedding day, and in the evening they had a few friends - come in to see them in their little new parlor, where the minister ‘married ' them. The bride then served the * ghents to a supper she had prepared - before putting on her white dress, and every body was very happy and merry. it acemod wimot s 11 hoy Shought “this way of doing was as pleasant and o e R _,:v;rn_, SIC "“}‘;{C ~H i .5’;?}%%-"' ﬁ;;;: ?&"&?«“‘3 - wedding jou rrioy. - Obslattn Union, bik S "“*‘”f’“%“ﬁ m | Equal to an Emergency, A i e i\‘il et st dag Bk j@u (Y 1‘?”"&*’1 el .of her husband, %‘;ﬁé@ﬁ%h&b—w@ﬁgﬁy G ‘?.“aﬁ«ﬁ?:"»‘*‘, 3‘3 “"3