Locomotive, Volume 9, Number 9, Indianapolis, Marion County, 28 July 1849 — Page 4

" A jest's prosperity lies in the ear Of him that hears it never in thetongue Of him that makes it." Love's Labor Lost.

Jenks and California. Til tell you what it is, my dear,' said our friend Jenks, to his wife one evening after they had retired to bed, 'I am positively in favor of this California business.' There you go again,' she replied, I never saw any one like you.' ' Well now don't get excited. We can talk over the matter dispassionately, and ' Now, Mr. Jenks, I can tell you once for all ' 'Oh, p'shaw,' exclaimed our friend, 'Where's the use of one's working one's soul out here, for a bare living, when by going to California, one may clear a fortune in a year or two, and come back to his friends and family to enjoy it.' ' Now, stop,' said the wife 4 1 won't permit you to talk in this way. , You are a married man, and as such you've no business to take it into your head to go to California or any where else, without your wife.' 'Come, come, now, Mrs. Jenks. You know well enough ' Yes, I do know well enough that any woman is a fool who will ' Ah, my love!' ' Oh, go along ! Don't talk to me of love ! A man who is so whimsical ! You're all the time speculating. The other day you wanted an office on another occasion you were going to get up a Life Insurance Company because you thought they made a great deal of money with very little trouble, then you got the ridiculous notion into your head to start a newspaper, just as if more than two thirds of the papers don't break down after the first year or two then you were going to set up a town in Jersey, when you know how many poor men have beggared themselves and families in trying to build up this state of Jersey ' ' All fools, my dear a set of jacks. Any man, I don't care who he is, with a thimble-full of brains, can start a town and make a fortune by the enterprise.' Then,' resumed Mrs. Jenks, who paid no attention to this outburst from her husband--' then, you wanted to buy a steamboat and run her against a regular line ' Yes, and I could have cleared a fortune by it in a few years but you wouldn't hear to ' 'Just as if,' continued Mrs. Jenks, 'you could hold up against a regularly organized company they rich and you poor.' ' Couldn't I have interested others ? And would not the whole public have run with us? We would have put the fare down, and thrown in a dinner, or a lunch, or given a gold pencil case as a premium to the largest number of passengers, or something of that sort, and mind I tell you, we would have brought that odious monopoly to its knees. We'd made the monopoly howl, to use the strong language of Dr. Bird.' But, suppose they'd made you howl how then?' . Now, where's the use of talking in that way ? You're enough to make a man nervous.' Yes, and you're enough to drive one crazy with your visionary schemes.' ' Now, my dear,' expostulated our amiable friend, that's going a Hi tie too far.' , Not half so far as you would like to go. What am I to do, if you go to California ?' ' Why, you. could go home, couldn't you V Yes, I could, but I won't, she sharply replied. You will not?' No! I will not; that's a settled case. The . world shall not laugh at me, and say she had to go home before she was married a year.. What will you do, then ?' Do V Mr. Jenks' she exclaimed, ' Mr. Jenks V ' What, my dear? replied our friend sitting bolt upright in the bed. Look at me,' said she, impressively, raising her

self upon her elbow and shaking her finger at him ' You shall stay where you are, or if you go, I'll go with you.' 'Nonsense, Mrs. Jenks!' Common sense, Mr. Jenks.' Pooh, Mrs. Jenks V ' ' Pooh for you, Mr. Jenks.' You're crazy, Mrs. Jenks.' ' We're well paired, Mr. Jenks.' At this juncture our frieud began to whistle 'Hail Columbia,' while his wife vigorously hummed an appropriate air. After a lapse of five or ten minutes, Jenks said ' But, my dear, really now, wouldn't you advise me to go to California V ' No,' she replied, with a sob, ' you know I wouldn't, and you're a bad man, so you are, to torment me in this way in my present critical state of health. You know how weak l am, and if mother should Oh ' Now, stop ! Don't go on in that way. I thought I could easily make a fortune in California. Of course I won't go if you don't wish it. Come, now, don't cry.' ' You're a hard-hearted man ' ' Now, my dear ' 'Father ' Well, there : say no more !' ' And you won't indulge in any more speculation?' No, I will not.' x Now, I like you for that. If you were single, I would not object to your going to California. Single men may do as they please, but, it is the duty of husbands, if possible, to remain at home. And besides, this passion for wealth , is lamentable in mankind. As kind old uncle Tom says, ' Contentment, not riches, makes one truly happy.' Here the whispering became indistinct, and it is believed that Jenks, notwithstanding his promise to the contrary, did actually steal off and go to California that night in a dream. : On some future occasion we may relate all Jenks heard and saw in the gold country. Phil. City Item. , Lost the Bet. A good looking and jovial friend of ours, a day or two since, related in our presence the following good 'un. At one of our first hotels, a stout, red-faced gentlemen in a white Beaver, blue cloth, and buff vest, offered to wager a 'ten spot' that he could close his eyes, and simply by taste name any kind of liquor in the house. The bet was taken, and the process of winning or losing commenced forthwith. ' That is genuine Otard,' said the gentleman, tasting from a wine glass 'and this this is whiskey,' and so on through the hotel's, ' manifest' of hardware. A wag then poured a few drops of pure Cochituate into the glass and handed it to the connoisseur 'This is-ah-ah-this ( tasting again ) by thunder ! gentlemen, I lose the bet I never tasted this liquor before ! Boston Maih Epitaph pinned on the curtain of the bed, on the bridal night of Dr. Caldwull, on his marriage with Miss Death : Here lies a wanton suicide, A little out of breath, Who, to enjoy a heavenly bride Has put himself to Death! Epigram How much corn may a gentleman eat ?' whis pered Fip, While the cobs on his plate lay in tiers : As to that,' answered QM and he glanced at the heap, 'Twill depend on the length of his ears !' If we are to live after death, why don't we have some certain, knowledge of it?' said a 6keptic to a clergyman. Why didn't you have some certain knowledge of this world before you came into it ?' Was the caustic reply.

PRINTING TYPES ARE now sold at BRACE'S NEW-YORK TYPE-FOUNDRY, at the following very low prices, for approved six month's notes:

Roman. Title, $-c. Shaded, 6C. Pica, per lb. 30 cts. 52 cts. 90 cts. Small Pica 32 56 95 Long Primer 34 60 100 Bourgeois 37 66 108 Brevier 42 74 120 Minion 48 84 132 Nonpareil 58 100 150 Agate 72 120 ' 180 Pearl , 108 160 220 Diamond 160 250 300

A liberal discount for cash in hand at the date of the Invoice. We have now on our shelves, ready for sale in various sized fonts. 60,C00 lb. Roman and Italic type. 40,000 lb. Fancy type. 4,(03 lb. Script and Running-hand. 5,0i)0 lb. Ornaments. 15,000 it. Type-metal Rule. 15,000 ft. Brass Rule. Presses, Chutes, Cases, Wood Type, Ink, &c. furnished at the lowest manufacturers' prices, either for cash or credit. Our Specimen Book is freely given to all Printing Offices. Printers of Newspapers who choose to publish this advertisement, including this note, three times before the 1st of October, 1819, and send us one of the papers, will be paid for it in Type when they purchase from us, of, our own manufactures, selected from our specimens, five times the amount of their bilL SCrFor sale, several good second-hand Cylinder and Platen Power Presses, Standing Presses, Hand Printing Presses, &c. ; GEORGE BRUCE & CO. je9-3t pr f $4 13 Chambers street, New-York. C. P. C. HUNT, RESIDENT DENTIST. OFFICE on Market street, opposite the 2d Presbyterian Church, Indianapolis. je2 tf. Dr. Cronk's Compound Sarsaparilla Beer. FOR CLEANSING TPIE BLuOD. THIS Compound is acknowledged the most healthy article . . that has been offered to the public in the form of a pltasnnt and harmless beverage. Customers supplied within the city at 50 cts. per doz. quart bottles, and warranted to keep 10 days. April 21. by G. B. SCR1BNER. PAPER HANGING, House, Sign and Fancy Painting, bY G. D. ST A ATS SHOP in the 2d story of the Locomotive Buildings opposite Browning's, Indianapolis Indiana. DR. J. H. SANDERS, having formed a partnership with DR. P. H. JAMESON, a graduate of the Jefferson Medical College, of Philadelphia, would respectfully inform the citizens of Indianapolis and vicinity, that they will devote their entire time and energies to the various duties of the profession and they hope to receive a liberal share of public patronage. Office on Meridian Street. Three doors South of the New Baptist Church, at the residence of Dr. Sanders. Dr. Jameson takes pleasure in naming the following medical gentlemen as references : ap 28-6 mo. L. Dunlap. M. D., J. L. Mothershead. M. D., Charles Parry. M. D. J. S. Bohbs, M. O. ICE! ICE!! ICE!I! ( The subscribers are prepared to furnish Ice daily at the doors of persons wishing it, in quantities to suit purchasers. They are also making; refrigerators of various sizes which they propose to sell to order at reasonable terms Indianapolis May 5 '49. COMEGYS &Co. " HOUSE AND EOT FOR SAEE, IN which Mr. D. Craighead now lives, on very favorable terms. Apply to Messrs. Smith and Yandes. jy7-3m WILLIAM EUEHLER. ADMINISTRATOR'S NOTICE. NOTICE is hereby given, that the undersigned has this day been duly appointed Administrator of the estate of Berryman Stewart, late of Marion county, Indiana, deceased. All persons having claims against said estate will present the same duly authenticated for settlement; and those knowing themselves indebted to the same, will please make immediate payment to the undersigned. Said estate is Supposed to be solvent. July 3, 1849. jyl4-3t JOHN G. BRITTOJN, Administrator. ADMINISTRATOR'S NOTICE. NOTICE is hereby given, that the undersigned has been duly appointed Administrator of the estate of Christian Snyder, deceased, late of Warren township, Marion county, Indiana. All persons having claims against said estate will present them duly authenticated for settlement; and persons being indebted are required to make immediate payment to the undersigned. The estate is probably solvent. July 14, i849-3t WILLIAM BOBBS, Adm'r, ADMINISTRATOR'S SALE. THERE will be sold at public sale, at the late residence of Christian Snyder, deceased, in Warren town.-hip, Marion county, Indiana, on Saturday, the fourth day of August next,. Cows, Young cattle, Sheep, Hogs, one stand of Bees, plough,, old corn, Wheat, Flax, Rifle gun, household furniture, and other articles. Terms made known on day of Sale, when personal attendance wil be given. WILLIAM BOBBS, Adm'r. July 14, 1849-3t - DOUGLASS & ELDER BOOK AND JOB PRINTERS.

FFICE in Blake's Building, on Washington street, opposite Browning's.

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