Locomotive, Volume 9, Number 5, Indianapolis, Marion County, 30 June 1849 — Page 4

Ajest's prosperity lies in the ear " y Or him that hear8 it never in the tongue Of him that makes it." Love's Labok Lost.

A Good PracticalJoke. A few days since, Dan, one of the greatest specimens of the beanpole family now extant, was loafing about the Exchange Hotel, with nothing particular to burden his mind, and seeing the morning paper upon the table in the barber's room, he stepped in and sat down to read. He had been engaged but a few moments, when a portly Englishman, just from the province, came puffing in at the door. He looked round a moment in some doubt as to the probability of his being in the right shop, and finally growled out rather that said 4 Is the barber in V ' I am the person that shaves,1 said Dan, slowly erecting his long, lank figure. Can Ido anything for you in my line V John Bull eyed his anything but Apollo-like proportions a moment, and taking off his hat sat down with the air of one perfectly resigned to the ignominious fate of being shaved by a Yankee. After very carefully tucking the clean white napkin in about his customer's double chin, Dan proceeded to make some lather. With a little trouble

he found a small shaving cup containing a bit of

' Windsor' somewhat larger than a big pea, into which he turned a gill of warm, not hot, water, and proceeded to beat up the soap in the most approved manner, until the lather, if so it may be called, was about the color and consistency of milk. Then motioning his already somewhat impatient customer to lay back, he commenced covering his face with the liquid, beginning at the tip of his nose, and working backwards towards his ears. 4 What! what! what's that for?' blubbered out Bull. , Keep your mouth shut,' said Dan, as the brush slipped from the end of the greasy nose into the cavity below. ' I cannot work when you are talking.' , Dan continued the operation of lathering until there was scarce anything uncovered, except the forehead and eyes, and it was pretty certain that the soap and water was undermining the very foundations of the Englishman's enormous standing collar, when suddenly he required a clean towel and stepped out to procure one. The Englishman waited a while, but no clean towel appeared. His neck was beginning to feel quite uncomfortable, and the liquid, devoid of anything in the "shape of froth, was slowly trinkling down his back and shoulders, when all. at once tho idea flashed across his mind that he was sold. 4 The d d Yankee 1' was his first instinctive exclamation; then catching his hat he rushed for the door, but was too late ; he just caught a glimpse of Dan's skirts as he turned into Main street, and was out of sight. The discomfited Englishman turned back, and began to pace the floor, swearing about the cursed Yankees. After taking two or three turns, he etopped, thought a moment, and then burst into a loud roar. 4 Here, landlord , does that fellow board here V

4 He does,' answered the grinning host.

4 Well, give him that tobacco box, and tell him if

he ever comes to Montreal I want him to call and see me, and I will entertain him like a prince.' Here the bell rang for the boat. Yours truly. Served thew eight. The Hallowell Gazette, in commenting on the practice of 4 sitting in church in prayer,' say 4 We remember a good old minister who once prayed fervently for those of the congregation who were 4 too proud to kneel, and too lazy to stand.' Gold and Corn It is stated that 4 one hundred thousand bushels of corn had rotted in California for want of persona to gather it.' Which was longest in the ear ? The 4 corn' or the 4 persons !'

A young lady, (?) one of those affected misses who belong to the 44 upper ten," recently entered the store of a fashionable mil iner, with whom her family were acquainted, for the purpose of making some trifling purchase. How is your mother, miss ?', politely inquired the lady of the store. ' .

4 bhe is not very well, madam,' replied affectation. 4 Ah ! what is the matter with her ?' 4 She fell downstairs and hurt' her curtsey bender.1 4 Her what?' 4 Her curtsey bender.' 4 Curtsey, bender! what is that?' inquired the puzzled milliner. 4 Why her knee !' It caused the good lady a very painful effort to prevent her committing a downright act of rudeness. She succeeded, however; but several young ladies present were forced to make a precipitate retreat, to give full vent to their risibilities, which the ludicrousness of the remark could not fail to produce. Love. Love is the weapon which Omnipotence reserved to conquer rebel men, when all the rest had failed. Reason he parries; fear he answers blow for blow ; future interest he meets with present pleasure ; but love, that sun against whose melting beams winter cannot stand, that soft, subduing slumber, which wrestles down the giant, there is no one human being in a million whose clayey heart is hardened against love. -Tapper.. Never Satisfied. Nobody is satisfied in this world. If a legacy is left a man, he regrets it is not larger. If he finds a sum of money he searches the spot for more. If he is elected to some high office, he wishes a better one. If he is rich and wants for nothing, he strives for more wealth. If he is a single man, he is looking out for a wife ; and if married for children. Man is never satisfied. The way to accomplish much in a short time. 4 How,' said Mr. Munsel to Mr. Yates, 4 do you accomplish so much in so short a time ? Have you any particular plan ? 4 1 have. When I have any particular thing to ido, I go and do it.' Nothing Remarkable. The Toledo Blade says, a young lady out there is said to be too lazy to get married. Pooh! that's nothing! We know of more than one young lady a good deal too lazy for any sensible man to think of marrying. Juvenle Simplicity. 4 Whose pigs are those, my lad?' 4 Whoy they belong to that ther big sow.' No ! I mean who is there master ?' Whoy,', answered the lad, 4 that little 'un there; he's a rare 'unto fight.' Fools. A country squire asked a juggler why he played the fool ? 44 For the same reason vou do :

out of want : You do it for want of wit : I for want

of money.

Wellerism. 4 You're in liouor.' as the vial re

marked when the snake was put into alcohol.

Good spirits preserve me 1' said the snake to the

vial.

i

Tobacco and Mortality. At a meeting of the Academie des Sciences a paper was brought forward by M. Carbonnei, upon the effect of tobacco on the workmen employed to make cigars and prepare tobacco. It would appear that out of 420 females whose husbands followed the occupation, 356 had twins; but with regard to health, out of 1,000 workmen, 340 became emaciated to the highest degree, and 94 in a secondary manner. French paper. He that sows brambles must not go bare footed.

PAY UP! PAY UP!! THE undersigned particularly requests those indebted to him either by note or book accounts, to come forward immediately and pay them. His wants compel him to make this last call on those indebted to him. - jel6-3t ' - JOHN M. WOOn

FIEiE NOTICE. An exercise meeting of the Independent Relief Fire Company will take place at 4 o'clock on Saturday afternoon, June 30. By order of the President ' " JOHN BISB1NG, Sec. pro. tern.

KARRAWTin.

SOME persons harrowed a cross cut taw, about 6 feet long- a wheel barrow, with the right handle broken olf; a wagon cover, and various lools, from the undersigned, both before ard after thfi firo that ,miM ho tUnl,fl U . i n,i

.., uucuu! ,ulwve laurneu. l nose that have borrowed any of these articles, or any tools belonging to me, will confer a favor by returning ihem immediately " Jel6"3t ,' JOSEPH I. STRETCHER. TO KENT. , A Comfortable two story Frame House, on Meridian, near Washington street, containing Sfx rooms. f he location would make this an excellent business stand Possession may be had about the 20th of June. Inquire of John K. Llder, at the Locomotive office. mvl8 Dr. Cronk's Compound Sarsaparilla Beer. TriTC, ' 'OR CLEANSING the blood. lilb Compound is acknowledged the most healthy article that has been offered to the public in the form of a pleasant and harmless beverage. Customers supplied within the city at 50 cts. per doz. quart bottles, and warranted to keep 10 day 'April 21. by G. B. SCR1BNER.

G. P. C. HUNT, RESIDENT DENTIST. OFFICE on Market street, opposite the 2d Presbyterian Church, Indianapolis. : . jg2 tf . PAPER HANGING, House, Sign and Fancy Painting. BY G. D. STAA'Pb QHOP under Morrison & Taibotfs Book Store, one door west kJ ot Browning's, Indianapolis Indiana. F)RnJp p ?iA?v?vinS f?rmed a Partnership with H r uR- P- ?iu f F?9N' a graduate of the Jefferson Medical College, of Philadelphia, would respectfully inform the citizens ot Indianapolis and vicinity, that, they will devote their entire time and energies to the various duties of the profession and they hope to receive a liberal share of publie patronaee Office on Meridian Street. Three doors South of the New Baptist Church, at the residence of Dr. Sanders. Dr. Jameson takes pleasure in naming the following medical gentlemen as references : ap og.g mo L. Dunlap. M. D., J. L. Mothershead. M . D , Charles Parry. M. D. J. S. Bobbs, M. D- ,

SEASONED EUJTIBER OF all kinds, at David Kreglo's Lumber-yard, north-east corner of btate House square. . je9-6tpd

' FANCY SIGN, PAINTING. W BOWMAN is now prepared to do all kinds of PLAIN . . and PANCY SIGN PAINTING and LETTERING, on short notice and favorable terms. Shop in Locomotive buildings, opposite Browning's. - jyay )2 FUI2EIC NOTICE : : " .At a. meeting of the City Council of Indianapolis, held nt their chamber, on Monday, the 4th inst., the following petition was presented, viz: ' f t!ie C Council of Indianapolis: The undersigned, appointed to locate the depot .at Indianapolis, ol the Perre Haute and Richmond Railroad Company, would respectiu ly represent, that said depot has been located on the north halt of block No. 94, in said city, and that it is cesirable to occupy Louisiana street, between, the west side of West street, and the west side of Meridian street, and also to connect from this point with the depot of the Madison and Indianapolis Railroad Company, with a track or tracks for said railroad, with privilege to use thereon steam or horse power, or both, as said company may determine. For all which privileges the undersigned, in behalf of said railroad company, would respectfully petition, under the provision of the ordinance in relation to the construction and connection cf railroads through

I vJ.I). EARLY.

, D DEMMING,

tnaianapoiis, May, 184!'."

Ana thereupon it was Ordered, That the Secretary give notice that the Council will meet on Monday, the 2d day of July, A.D., 1849, at their chamber in said city, at 2 o'clock P.M.,- for the purpose of considering and determining the subject matter of said petition, under the provision of the ordinance referred to therein, of which all persons interested will take notice. By order of the City Council. - T ,. ,. T JAMES G. JORDAN, Sec'y. Indianapolis, June 11, 1849. jei6-

Committee.

ICE! ICE!! ICE!!t The subscribers are prepared to furnish Ice daily at the doors of persons wishing it, in quantities to suit purchasers. They are also making refrigerators of various sizes which they propose to sell to order at reasonable terms Indianapolis May 5 '49. COMEGYS &Co.

JOHN DOUGLASS.

JOHN K. ELDER.

DOUGLASS & E1DEB, BOOK AND JOB PRINTERS.

FFICE in Blake's Building, on Wash-

ington street, opposite Browning's;

tae Publication Office of tJic Locomotive.