Locomotive, Volume 9, Number 4, Indianapolis, Marion County, 23 June 1849 — Page 1

"brevity is the soul of wit."

VOL IX. CITY OF INDIANAPOLIS, SATURDAY, JUNE 23, 1849 No. 4.

THE LOCOMOTIVE is printed and published every saturday, at the book and jos office of Douglass &. Elder, opposite browning's, by

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He Yore ,a Flashy Waistcoat. A Parody. He wore a flashy waiscoat, on the night when first we met, With a famous pair of whiskers and imperial of jet, His air had all the haughtiness, his voice the manly tone, own. Of a gentleman with eighty thousand dollars of his I saw him but a moment, and methinks I see him now, brow. With a very flashy waistcoat and a beaver on his And once again I saw that brow no neat " Legay" was there, was h"i3 hair, But a shocking " bad un" ) was his hat, and matted He wore a brick within that hat the change was all complete, him up the street. And he was flanked by constables who marched "I saw him but a moment, yet methinks I see him, now, a row. Charged by those worthy officers with kicking up Love. A complaint of the heart, growing out of an inordinate longing after something difficult to obtain. It generally attacks persons of both sexes, between the ages of fifteen and thirty, some have been known to have it at the age of sixty. Symptoms abscence of mind, giving things wrong names, calling tears .nectar, and sighs zephyrs. A great fondness for poetry and music, gazing on the moon and stars, toothache, loss of appetite, neglect of business, loathing for all things, save one ; bloodshot eyes, and a constant desire to sigh. Effects a strong heart, high pulse, stupidity, eloquent eyes, sleeplessness, and all that sort of thing. At times, imagination bright, bowers of roses, winged cupids, buttered peas; then again oceans of despair, tacks, tortures, and hair -triggered pistols. Cure Get married. A Resurrection Ancedote. An old topper, who had long been accustomed to sucking the stopper, being, on one occasion, pretty much as usual, I thank ye,' his wife procured a coffin, and got some men to put him into it and carry him to the grave yard. This being done, they watched to see what he would do when he came to himself. By-and-by, having slept off the fumes of the liquor, he awoke, and the top of the coffin being unfastened, he threw it off, and, sitting up, began to stare about him in every direction. At last, being fully persuaded that there was nobody there, his keeper having hid himself behind a grave stone, he muttered, in a drowsy, tone Well, I guess lam the first one that's riz, or else Tm plaguey belated.1 The Difference. A young lady being asked the difference between the hypo and dumps, replied : A young lady has the hypo when she feels as if she was just going to be married, and the dumps when she feels as if she was to stay awhile.

For the locomotive. The Lover's Cat astrophe. 'Tis now midnight ; as well I might " Old Whitey" try " to track," As " snooze" a wink ; Ye Gods ! but think Last night I got the sack." But, blast my Fate ! I'll now relate, The " Humbug" I was under ; 'Twill terror strike I know 'twas like, A species of low thunder. " My dear" I cried, she open'd wide Her peepers in a trice " My dearest dove, Oh ! what is love, That bliss of Paradise ?" " Its me a dove,' Ye saints above ! What impudence I hear ? Come, Sal, and " ging" the Poker bring

Its me a' turtle' dear." " Hold ! hold !" I yell'd, as me she fell'd, And tumbled in the street ; " Och ! oh ! mine Got ! I'm oversot, My nose's as red as beet." The lightning flash, the tempest crash, Have now pass'd o'er my head ; If e'er I " love" a " turtle dove," May I be shot with lead. Without a wife, I'll live for life ; Let other blockheads wed You'll yet your due, the "Po&er" too, With all, a thorny bed. Sphynx. Cambridge, June 15. '49. Mr. Locomotive : I am now in the town of Connersville. This is by far the most beautiful and pleasant town .through which I have passed since 1 left home. Indeed, for the taste and elegance with which the houses are built, and the neatness and regularity with which the town is laid off, it surpasses any other I have seen in the State. The chuches and public buildings are generally large, and present altogether a fine and highly-finished appearance; the Court House, when completed, will be one of the largest and most finely executed piece of architecture of the kind, this side of the Ohio. There are also several institutions of learning. The seminary is a beautiful edifice of modern structure, surrounded on every side with stately locusts ; and through the exertions of its Trustees, promises fair to shed a happy and salutary influence upon the lives of the rising generation. Connersville is pleasantly situated on the West Fork of White Water, in the midst of a rich, beautiful and highly cultivated country, surrounded on one side by New England hills and romantic scenery, and on the other by gently undulating plains and valleys. Fayette, of which Connersville is the county

seat, was settled mostly by emigrants from Ohio and Kentucky ; hence, " the tone of society is moulded in that old English moddle," for which the Kentuckians are so eminently celebrated. The g'hals here prominade the streets with " all the grace and dignified mien of the Goddess of Liberty," and if they condescend to give you a passing glance, it is done with such an air, that you are at

once reminded of the " old bard of goats and monkeys :" , " I'm Lady of all I survey, My path there is none to dispute." " Ye Gods ! but they do walk." No wonder that Mr. G , a respectable merchant of this place, in the agony of dispair a few days ago, quaffed the poisonous draught, and died a suicidal death; rather than live, and meet again the haughty smile and cold repulse of her, who had wrecked forever the proud fabric of his brain, and rendered desolate the temple of his heart ! No, I do not wonder that the Rev. Mr. J. a pioneer of God, " the voice of one crying in the wilderness," gave irp the glorious calling of proclaming "glad tidings of much joy" unto fallen man, and retired from the world with condemnation upon his soul forever, when spurned with cold indifference from the foot of the altar of his adoration and love ! No, no, but I would wonder strangely, if any g'hal, however lovely and beautiful, even if she possess the power of a rattle snake to charm could draw me on and infuse " Into my breast, my heart The poison of her dart." Sphynx. Connersville, June 18th, '49. Cruelty to Animals. " A righteous man haih respect unto the life of his beast, but the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel." How often and painfully we have been reminded of the truth of the above, during this excessively hot weather, as we have seen the poor horses furiously driven, or ridden, through our streets, panting and all covered with foam by it. Nothing so marks the brutality, the utter hardness of a man's heart, as the unmercifully using a horse at any time, but during hot weather especially. We could mention a few cases which have occurred within the last few days, but we forbear for the present. Do not abuse your horse Remember, young man, he cannot speak, to tell you when he suffers through your abuse, though he undoubtedly does suffer as acutely as you would under such usage and there is a point of exertion beyond which a horse nor a man cannot be urged, without irreparable injury. A little foolish driving, now-a.days, may, therefore, permanently ruin a valueable animal, leave a sting in your own conscience, and brand you as an unmerciful, unfeeling brute yourself. S.

We learn that the Pennsylvania and Ohio. R. R companies have adopted the direct route from Pittsburg to the Indiana Stato line, to connect with the Indianapolis and Belle Ibntaine railroad at that point, and that the Dayton and Greenville road is progressing to intersect the main line at the same place. SentineL