Locomotive, Volume 8, Number 10, Indianapolis, Marion County, 5 May 1849 — Page 4

. " A jest's prosperity lies in the ear . ., . Of him that hears it hever in the tongue , Of him that makes it. "Love's Labor Lost. A Lesson for Scolding Wives.' And I dare say you have scolded 1 your wife very often, New man,' said I, once. Old Newman looked down, and his wife took up the reply ... 'Never to signify and if he has, I deserve it!' - ' And I dare say, if the truth were told, you have scolded him quite as often.' : ' Nay,' said the old woman, with a beauty of kindness which all the poetry in the world cannot excel ' How can a wife scold her good man, who has been working for her and her little ones all the day ? It may do for a man to be peevish, for it is he who bears the crossness of the world ; but who Bhould make him forget them but his own wife 1 And she had best, for her own sake for nobody cart scold much when the scolding is all on one side.1 Bulwer. ' Getting' Desperate. 'Ahem! Ephraim, I heard something about you.' ' La, now, Miss Sophrina, you don't say so.' 'Yes, indeed, that I did, and a great many said it, too.' . ' La, now, what was it, Miss Sophrina V ' O, dear, I can't tell you,' (turning away her head.) . . . . ' O, la, do now.' . , ' 0, no, I can't.' ' Oh, yes, Miss Sophrina.' . La, me, Ephraim, you do pester a body so.' Well, do please to tell me, Sophrina.' Well, I heard that O, I can't tell you.' ' Ah ! yes, come, now do,' (taking her hand.) Well, didn't say it but I heard that' What?' ( putting an arm around her waist.) .. ' Oh, don't squeeze me so I heard that that ( turning her blue eyes full upon Ephraim's ) that you and me were to be married, Ephraim !'

Marrying, for Money. Bulwer in the last Black

wood the Caxtons says ; For you, my dear, and frank, and high-souled young friend- for you I should say, fly from a load upon the heart, on the genius, the energy, the pride, and the spirit, which not one man in a thousand can bear; fly from the curse of owing everything to a wife! It is a reversal of all natural position it is a blow to all manhood within us. You know not what it is ; I do ! My wife's fortune came not until after marriage. So far so well ; it saved my reputation from the charge of fortune-hunting. But I tell you fairly, that, if it had never come at all, I should be a prouder and a greater and a happier man than I have ever been, or even can be, with all its advantages. It has been a mill-stone round my neck. And yet Ellinor has never breathed a word that would wound my pride. Caution to Ladies. Will you never learn, my dear, the difference between real and exchangeable value V The question was put to a husband who had been lucky enough to be tied to., a political economist in petticoats. ' Oh, yes, my dear, I think 1 begin to see it.' ' Indeed !' responded the lady. , 'Yes,' replied the husband, 'for instance, my

dear, I know your deep learning, and all your other virtues. That's your real value. But I know, also, that none of my married friends would swap wives with me. That's you exchangable value.' A gentleman was the author of a periodical paper called 'The World.' In an -absent fit, during service one Sunday at church, he continued sitting when the congregation were standing up, and was roused by his laxly with this exclamation : Mr. Cambridge, what are you thinking about V Of tho next World, my dear.'

In the wrong Train. The Yarmouth Register tell a story about a young man who had taken a seat in one of the cars which run ' down east,' from Portland, and who so disgusted his fellow passengers by profane language that an old deacon of the Freewill persuasion' undertook to lecture him upon the vice of swearing. ' You are on the straight road to perdition,' said the deacon. The young man drew a ticket from his pocket, and after carefully scrutinizing it, said with a look that mendicants description,' ' Just my d luck, I bought a ticket for Brunswic!' Those who sit still and wait for the tide of misfortune or the current of adverse circumstances to flow away, are like the fool sitting on the bank of a river, waiting for the water to flow away that he might cross over ! That man alone is truly wise who bravely meets and stems both j and he will generally succeed in overcoming them, and arriving successfully at the end of his pursuits. . ' Excessive Modesty. A distinguished phrenological lecturer well known about Louisville, is said to have recently remarked that there were but three great heads in the U. S. one being that of Henry Clay, the other of Daniel Webster, and, placing his hand upon his own deranged cranium, he continued the third gentleman, modesty forbids me to mention.' . OCr We tne following piece of impudence in a New York paper, viz : ' Young ladies should never object to being kissed by editors, they should make every allowance for the freedom of the press.' , We are silent with indignation. 07" We saw a basket of strawberries yesterday, that a gentleman had purchased in New York, He valued them at twenty-five cents apiece, or one

dollar and a half per mouthful. Cheap luxuries.

Alb. Knickerbocker- .

A Bold Resolution.' Daddy, I reckon as how I might go a courtin' now, bein' as how gooseberry pies is comin' in fashion, main't IV Yes, son, I reckon so.' ' Well, if I don't go and see somebody's gal next Sunday, then saw my old hat in two !' This animal, said an Irishman, pointing to his goat, 'will do almost as much work as a horse.' ' Faith,' returned his friend Phelim, I believe yees ; for I persave that the crature is very strong' 'Father, what do they mean by raising things in hot houses V ' Why, my dear boy, you are being raised in a house too hot to hold me sometimes.' The mother seized a broom stick, but the man made tracks. Free Trade. A country greenhorn, after being joined in the chains of wedlock, was asked bygone of the guests, a friend, if he had paid the parson, to which he replied, ' Oh no, he's owing father for a peck of beans, and we'll make a turn. Oh mother ! a bee has stung me,' said a beautiful little girl as she came running in from the garden. ' Never mind, child,' replied the mother, ' it mistook thee for a flower.' Counsel. 'Now, sir, on your oath, were you not born in Ireland V Witness (in a solemn tone.) Although present at the event, I swear on my oath 1 have no recollection of the fact.' Cross Questioning. ' Were you ever crossquestioned 1 Yes, when questioned by my wife, after spending the evening abroadcross enough, in all conscience.' A large woman is a blessing to the dry doods dealers, as it takes much cloth to cover her.

SO-We are requested to announce WILLIAM SULLIVAN as a candidate for the office of County Clerk. . -: ' : v Uom. " A babe in a bouse it a well-spring of pleasure, a messenger of peace and love : Yet it is a talent of trust, a loan to be rendered lack with interest." On the 23th a Son to J. S. Wright. On the 30th a Son to Ben. F. Lobaugh. On the 30th a Son to S. D. Tomlinson.

" O happy lot, and hallowed, even as the joy of angels, Where the gold en chain of godliness is entwined w it ht he roses of Jove. LICENSES ISSUED TO JAMES SIMPSON and MARY E. PRUETT. LEWIS ARNOLD and MARTHA1 INGRAM. JOSEPH A. TOON and SOPHIA O. SHAW.

Deaths. .. . - ' O Death, what art thou 1 strange and solemn alchymist, Elaborating life's elixir from these clayey crucibles." On the 1st, EMMA CATHARINE, daughter of J. M. and Catharine Landis. . ,

DR. J. II. SANDERS, having formed a partnership with DR: P. II. JAMESON, a graduate of the Jefferson Medical College, of Philadelphia, would respectfully inform the citizens of Indianapolis and vicinity, that they will devote their entire time and energies to the various duties of the profession ; and they hope to receive a liberal share of public patronage. Office on Meridian Street. Three doors South of the New Baptist Church, at the residence of Dr. Sanders. Dr. Jameson takes pleasure in naming the following medical gentlemen as references : ap 28-6 mo. L. Dunlap. M. D., J. L Mothershead. M. D., , Charles Parry. M. D. J. S. Bobbs, M. D.

: FINE DRESS GOODS. f TUST RECEIVED, a lot of Plain and Fancy Barnges' J Tissues, Grenadines, Embroidered Tarltons, Lawns' and Swiss Mulls, at Sign of the Golden Bee Hive. . April 21-4t KITCHEN & BLAKE.

Dr. Cronk's Compound Sarsaparilla Beer. FOR CLEANSING THE BLOOD. THIS Compound is acknowledged the most healthy article that has been offered to the public in the form of a pleasant and harmless beverage. Customers supplied within the city at 50 cts. per doz. quart bottles, and warranted to keep 10 days. . April 21. by G. B. SCRIBNER. BONNETS AND RIBBONS. A LARGE lot, newest style Bonnets and Bonnet Ribbons, . just openod and for Sale very cheap at Sign of Bee Hive. ap. 21-lt KITCHEN & BLAKE'S. TRIMMINGS AND LACES. FRENCH WORKED COLLARS, Standing do., Laces, Edging, Head Dresses, Capes, Cuifs, Bonnet Tabs, just received and will be sold-very low at Sign of Golden Bee Hive. April 21-41 : - KITCHEN & BLAKE.

GLOVES AND MITTS. KID, Silk and Net Gloves, Black and White Lace Mitts. Long do. A splendid assortment just received at Sign of tne Bee Hive, ap 21- lt KITCUEN & BLAKE'S.

SILKS, SUA WES, AND PARASOLS.. A BEAUTIFUL assortment of Silks. A few Splendid Silk. Shawls, Crape do. A splendid lot of Parasols, just received and will be sold at great bargains by April 21-4t KITCHEN & BLAKE.

CARPETS, CARPETS. A Large lot of Ingrain Carpets, of all qualifies, and very low, Just received at KITCHEN &, BLAKE'S, Sign of the Golden Bee Hive. April 21 -4t

s

PAPER HANGING, House, Sign and Fancy Painting,. BY G. D. ST A ATS

HOP under Morrison & Talbott s Book Store, one door west"

ol Browning's, Indianapolis Indiana.

DO YOU SEE THAT BAEE! rr L. ALLEN & Co. have just received their Spring and: JL Summer goods direct from the east, and have no hesitancy in saying they have one of the best stocks in this city. Great care has been taken to select the most fashionable and desirable styles, and all who wish to purchase will doubtless be well paid for calling at the SIGN OF THE GOLDEN BALL. Indianapolis, April 1849. 1 m. '

LUMBER! LUMBER!! LUMBER!!! THE undersigned would respectfully inform the citizens of Indianapolis, and vicinity, that their Saw Mill being in good repair, they are prepared to fill bills of Lumber at a shorter notice than any other mill in the country. Persons wishing to purchase would do well to call at the Ripple Mills, and apply t March 17-12tpd KOONTZ &, BURK.

JOHN DOUGLASS.

JOHN E. ELDEK.

DOUGLASS & ELDER, BOOK AND JOB PRINTERS.