Locomotive, Volume 8, Number 8, Indianapolis, Marion County, 21 April 1849 — Page 4

A jest's prosperity lies in the ear i . .. . Of him that hears it never in the tongue " ' Of him that makes it." Love's Labor Lost. ; t Vagaries of Pufich. One particular dark, damp, drizzly, and disagreeable day, in the latter part of November, A. D. 1848, a tall, gaunt, queer-looking customer, dressed in a blue coat, with metal buttons, a brimstone colored vest, and plaid pantaloons, with calfskin terminations, sat, solitary and alone, in a little room situated in' a little tavern, in Vine street, city of Philadelphia. Before him was a little round table, on whose marble top was not a little pitcher of smoking punch, 'screechin hot,' and a wine glass. . The solitary individual was York nolhin else, dear child, and that was his second pitcher full, nigh his second pitcher empty. One moment after, and you couldn't have squeezed a drop out of either glass or pitcher, by a forty-two pound hydraulic press ! York rang the bell.' The waiter popped his .head in at the door. 'Ring, ea?' - ' Of coursp I did ! Is it clearing off!' ' No, sa damp sa fog so thick, sa, you could ladle a 'tout 'ith a spoon, sa. Have anything, sa V ' More punch, and strong !' - Yes,sa! immediately sa.' - The waiter withdrew, and in a few seconds the third pitcher of punch stood before our hero, who attacked it zealously. York had just drained the last glass full from the pitcher, and was beginning to feel glorious, when, on raising his eyes, he saw his own figure in a large pier-glass directly opposite. He rubbed his eyes, winked, coughed, stared, winked and rubbed his eyes again. . 'Bah !' said he, ' there's some fellow sitting right before me. This is a private room, sir! I engaged this room, sir, for my sole accommodation.' He waited a moment, expecting an answer, but the reflection merely stared at him, and held its peace. I was saying, sir, that this was my private roommine, sir !' cried York, fetching his voice an octave higher than before. No answer was made ; and he rang the bell again furiously. The waiter made his appearance again. 'Ring, sa?' 'Yes ! I did ring : didn't I ask for a private room V lea this is a private room I sa. . ' It is 1 Why there is a fellow sitting right before me now, on the other side of the tablet rot his impudence. ; Table ? sa fellow ? sa!' - ; ' Yes, there is well never mind. Bring me some punch, and two glasses.' 1 T ; ' Yes, sa immediately ! sa.' In a short time the fourth pitcher, with two glasses, made its appearance. York filled one of the glasses, and shoved it over the table. - ' Will you drink, sir ? said he, addressing the figure in the glass. Oh, you wont, eh ! Well, I will.' And so he did. 'Better drink, old fellow!' continued he : 'your liquor's getting cold, and you look as if you were fond of the thing.' No answer being returned, York finished the pitcher, and rang the bell again. In popped the waiter., 'Ring, sal' 'To be sure I rang! Didn't you hear the b-b-bell V 'I did, sa.' . . Didn't I order a p-p-private room V eh !' '' Yes, sa this is a private room, sa.' 'A pretty private room this is! with a fellow sitting opposite, that won't take a glass of punch when it is offered him and a r-r-r-red nosed man at that ! Oh, well never mind ; bring m-m-m-more.p-punch, and tumbler 1-111 try him again ! eh.' Presently the pitcher, number five, with glasses to match, was borne in with due state. Better t-t-t-try some, old boy,' said York to his double, coaxingly. ; The reflex merely looked good natured, but said nothing. - 'Well,' continued York, with a sigh, ' if this isn't the m-m-most infamous well never mind I'll drink , the punch'-and so he did, every bit of it. About five minutes sufficed to end the pitcher. York

rang the bell, superfuriously. The waiter came again. - Ring, sa V Why, certain.! Why, sh-sh-shouldn't I ? Where's the man who keeps this p-p-place V BosSj Sa? I'll sen' im, sa.' ! Shortly after, mine host, a quiet looking little man, with a mottled, calico-patterned face, and a shining bald head, made his appearance. ' Wh-what's to pay V demanded York, rising and assuming an air of dignity. Five punches five levies, sir.' ' There's the money, sir,' said York, forking out the coin. And now I want to know, why when I call for a p-p-private room, you should put me here with somebody else V V 'There is nobody here but you and I.' 'Nobody! Do you s-s-suppose I can't see ! Do you th-think I'm drunk? There look there, two of 'em, by jingo ?' ' Well, sir, 1 must confess I can't see any but us two.' ' .-. ' . " ' " ' You can't, eh !' And York dragged the landlord to the table. " Look there, continued he, pointing to" the glass. . ' Th-there's the rascals, now ! One of 'em's enough like you to be your brother, and the other the most r-red-faced. silliest, meanest looking whit& man, I ever saw !' New York Spirit of the Times. Division of Labor. A certain preacher who was holding forth to a somewhat wearied congregation, lifted up his eyes to the gallery, and beheld his son pelting the people below with chestnuts. Dominie was about to administer, ex cathedra, a sharp and stringent reprimand for this flagrant act of impiety and disrespect, but the youth anticipating him, bawled out at the top of his voice ' You mind the preaching, daddy, and Til keep them awake!' The scene that ensued may be safely left to the imagination. . A friend of ours in California, writing from San Francisco, places the richness of the soil in a very strange light. He hired a wagon; he says, the day after he arrived, and took a ride to the mines. When he came back, instead of putting his hand into his pocket and paying for the go, on Northern principles, he just scraped the dirt from the wheels, washed it, paid the hostler fifteen dollars, and yet had thirty dollars left to make a night of.' What a land for spreeing ! Albany Knickerbocker. A Sad Mistake. A" young exquisite, who was anxious to raise up a ferocious crop of whiskers, being told that bear's oil would facilitate their growth, went to a druggist and procured a bottle of oil, which he put profusely on his face when going to bed. Next morning, on looking in the glass, he was horrified to find either side of his face covered with a thick coat of white feathers. The druggist had made a mistake, and given him goose oil instead of bear's oil. , - Missouri Twins. Two children of Mr. Benjamin Rose, living in Texas county, Missouri, are connected like the Siamese children. .-They are joined from the breastbone to the abdomen, measure twenty inches in height and weigh twenty pounds. Their connection is such that they stand face to face, heads coated over with fine black hair, and in all other respects perfect in form and feature. Mr. Jones was in the habit of getting occasionally somewhat balmy,' and one night he was discovered by a neighbor, leaning against the side of a church for support. He hailed him with 'Hallo, Jones! you look serious ; . think of joining the church V 'Well,' replied Jones, I incline considerably that way at present!' In the list of the articles to which premiums were awarded at the Lewis County Fair is the following:' Best comforter, Miss Harriet Sheldon.

' Father, I heard you say in the railroad gars yesterday, that you are in favor of low fairs.' am.' 'I thought so, for I saw you kissing our short servant girl this morning.' A Young Mother. Mrs. Boody, of Morristown, NVJ., aged eighteen years, is the mother of seven children. She was married before she had attained her eleventh year. Joined Church. An editor has married a girl named Church. He says he has enjoyed more happiness since he joined the 4 Church,' than he ever knew in his life before ! The Picayune says that one great reason why truth is stranger than fiction, is because there is not so much of it in the world. A fastidious lady was greatly shocked, the other day, on reading that male and female strawberry plants are frequently found occupying the same bed. " A broken heart-string.

, 5KrI am authorized to announce the name of Joshua Stevens as a suitable candidate for Mayor of this city. H- . SCrThe Free Soil Democracy of Marion County have selected SAMU EL FRAZIER of Pike, and JOHN COBURN, of Centre Township, as Candidates for the next General Assembly. - JKT We are requested to announce WILLIAM SULLIVAN as a candidate for the office of County Clerk.

CANDIDATES FOR COUNC1LMEN. In the 1st Ward GEORCE Mc OUAT, In the 1st Ward S. V. B. NOEL. In the 1st Ward HARVEY BATES. v In the 2d Ward JAMES GILLESPIE. In the 2d Ward DAVID D. WOODRUFF. In the 4th Ward ANDREW WALLACE. ' In the 5th Ward JAMES SULGROVE. In the 5th Ward DANIEL CARLISLE. In the 6th Ward WILLIAM ECKERT. In the 6th Ward JOHN S. DUNLOP. In the 7th Ward SAMUEL MERRILL.

- . Uornv " A babe in a bouse is a well-spring of pleasure, a messenger of peace and love : Vet it is a talent of trust, a loan to be rendered back with interest." On the 15th a Daughter to Axiom Stewart. On the 17th a Son to R. W. Wright. ,

iUatrlaflcs. "O happy lot, and hallowed, even as the joy ofangels, Where the golden chain of godliness is entwined witlit he roses of love.' On the" 11th inst., by Rev. Gam'l Taylor, Miss Mary Ann Brocas to Mr.Zenas F. Bramwell; both of North Madison. On the 17th by Rev. Mr. Beswick, Miss Julia Ann Phipp?, danghter of Mr. I. N. Phipps, to Mr. John II. Anderson, Merchant of this city. ' ' ' LICENSES ISSUED TO George A. Groves and Sarah Ann Rutherford on the 14th. Hermann Henry Rasener and Caroline Kachener on the 14th.. John Cox and Mary Swords on the 18th. Andrew J. Burkhart and Susan Stephens on the 19th.

DO TOU SEE THAT BALL! rr L. ALLEN & Co. have just received their Spring and L Summer goods direct from the east, and have no hesitancy in saying they have one of the best stocks in this city. Great care has been taken to select the most fashionable and desirable styles, and all who wish to purchase will doubtless be well paid for calling at the SIGN OF THE GOLDEN BALL. Indianapolis, April 1849. 1 m. ' MONEY WANTED.

ALL indebted- to the undesigned will confer a PAHTicuiiB favor by calling immediately and settling, as I am in want of money. . - A. KNODLE. Indianapolis, April 7, 1849-3t - -

LUMBEK! LUMBER!! LUMBER!!! THE undersigned would respectfully inform the citizens of Indianapolis, and vicinity, that their Saw Mill being in good repair, they are prepared to fill bills of Lumber at a shorter notice than any other mill in the country. Persons wishing to purchase would do well to call at the Ripple Mills, and apply to March 17-12tpd KOONTZ & BURK. DEPOT LOTS. THE plat of the Lots laid out by Wi.liam Young Esq..at the Indianapolis andJ3ellefontaine Railroad Depot, has been left with the undersigned. The lots are now subject to en-' try at the prices fixed by Mr. Young, and persons who are desirous of obtaining a choice of them should apply without delay. Terms liberal. JAS. G. JORDAN, Agent.